The Basement Yard - #545 - Doctor Mike's Hardest Challenge Yet!

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

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Welcome back to the basement yard. Today, me and Frank are on the same side because we have a special guest, the smartest person who's ever been on this show by 100 million miles. Definitely. Dr. Mike is with us. I don't know if this is a diss or a compliment. No, no, no, no, no. How is that? Well, it's out.

Now I get back. To be fair. In our current setup, the only other people we've had on here are Red and Link and they're very smart. I forgot about them. They're very smart, but not as medically smart as you. And part of them is really tall. Bro. What is with,

hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm going to say this. If you're watching someone on YouTube, chances are they're over six and a half feet tall. I don't know what the fuck. This guy walked in and I'm expecting Dr.

Mike to come in and he's like, five, 10. Like a doctor. I've always had short doctors. Well, because a lot of them have a God complex. And that's crazy.

I mean, it's true. I mean, surgeons. That's right. I would probably throw surgeons. That's what I was referencing as well. Do you find that a lot of doctors

are shorter than you? I think it's, the mixed bag. You're 6-2? Yeah, 6-3. That me too. Yeah. No, you're not. This guy's like 5-4. Well, if I'm wearing my Vomero premium pluses or whatever they're called, then I'm easily 6-5. What is that? Are those doctor shoes? No, those are like the new Nikes that have the amount of padding that basically you don't need to hide your inserts. Nice, nice, nice. So you're going like

Tom Cruise level inserts on these shoes. I'm proud of those inserts. Good for you, my friend. Maybe I should wear an insert. You definitely should. All right. You're getting crazy. Or get the, the surgery that like can make legs. Don't do that. Don't do Is that a thing? I heard it's very painful though. It's called the live. Take a hammer and they, hey, we're gonna let him. All right, shut the hell off.

I've also never performed this procedure, nor have I consulted on that procedure, but yes, that's the. They break it, but they do like, uh. They create a little space in order for the bone to heal and they progressively do that over and over again. I saw this in a movie recently. Your bones will just heal towards each other.

Yeah. The space is really little and over time. Oh, and they have these screws that they tighten and they keep growing in space. Bro, the materialists. Is that the one? Dakota Johnson. You've seen it too, right?

Pedro Pascal is like 5-2, and then all of a sudden she finds out, oh, he got the tall guy surgery, and he's like 6-1. So he'd Benjamin Button. He reversed Benjamin Button. Okay. How long is that process?

It's long. It's tough to do. And imagine you're not walking comfortably, so there's a lot of rehab required for that. It sounds like years. And it sounds expensive. Like, it's like kind of classified as cosmetic as us medical professionals would understand.

Well, it is. is in some cases, but there are cases medically where someone has, let's say, bowed legs and they need to straighten them. So in those situations, you're using the procedure for function purposes. We all knew that person in high school that walked like they rode a horse. I know. But they always had a great jump shot for some reason. Unbelievable jump shot, but they shot it like this. Yeah.

Well, you know, now everyone who is one of those three-point shooting champions that set all the Guinness World Records, they don't have good form. Yeah. Oh, you're talking basketball, brother. Yeah. You're above my head. Go back to the medical stuff. You haven't seen... I'm not again.

Basketball's not my thing. I'm a baseball football guy. Okay, God, okay. But I know you're talking about. But you've seen what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You do this very awkward shooting form that if you play in a pickup game, you'll get blocked nine out of ten times. Right.

But when you're just shooting by yourself, you can make 10 out of 10 out of 10. You can just hit them. Doc, you ball up? Yeah. You ball up. Yeah. You got a jumper? Yeah.

He's tall, too. He's tall, too. He's like, he's not great. I play it in Madison's car. before I play so have we yeah where did you guys the main stage bitch no no like for what

we did a show oh all right that's a bigger flag that's kind of cool though too if you said Hulu theater would have been a better laugh I know I played on the court what this is not your show right now back to us bitch

what the hell are you wearing I was a plague doctor and I was gonna wear this but I couldn't breathe and you guys didn't send it to me fast enough So I'm just going to hold it. Just show them. It doesn't matter. Shub it down your throat.

I played on the court. What the hell? What are you saying? Yeah, sorry about that. Well, thanks for joining us today. We really appreciate it. We're excited. Now that we know that you also play basketball,

we're going to challenge you to a game of basketball one day. Hype. But we, in preparation for the show, we talk a lot professionally and somewhat argue stupidly. And we often pretend that we know the answers to all. a lot of what we're talking about when chances are one of us doesn't. One of us is on a hot streak lately. He had one episode last week that he said like two things that were correct. In a row.

What were the things? Well, one of them, you don't put this one to bed. You don't need to be a doctor to figure this one out. He can't get an expression correctly. And he said, what was it? Which part? You know it. So here's the expression.

Tell me if you've heard it. Okay. The pen is mightier than the sword. but the tongue can lick them both. That's incorrect, bro. That's an insane thing. My only question here. What phase of your life were you hearing?

And then what phase of your life were you repeating that statement? He's repeating it with the most confidence on this show? When have I repeated it? All faith. Every phase. As soon as I heard it, I said, wow, that's really good. He's a walking example of if you just say something like, definitively.

Yeah. People usually just get out. Wow. You know what I mean? Well, hold on. Now you're painting me as some sort of psychopath here. What do you think the show is? I mean, um, you just did a video where you, well, not just it, but like you, you talked

to a bunch of like, oh, surrounded. Yeah, surrounded by like an anti-vaxxers and stuff. So you've probably dealt with people like Joey and I. We're like, we're going to say it. We're going to be confident about it. I'm not an anti-vaxxer either. Let me make that very clear. And the generality of like, we're going to say it, we're going to be confident about it.

and we're not going to look up any truth behind it. Okay. Can you confirm that you dealt with people like that? I've dealt with people who were less interested in being immune to disease and more interested in being immune to logic and facts. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was honestly impressed with your restraint. Dude, I would still.

Why, you would, you would fist the cup? No, I would just be like, at a certain, because you were just so patient and nice with them that I'm like, at a certain point, because they are saying offensive things. Yeah. At one point, someone's like, no, because I actually read. Yeah. No, she goes, I actually read and study, which is wild.

I mean, because I was like, are you discounting the decade plus of education? You thought I didn't read? So this is like a serious question that I have now. Oh. Oh, this one. Yeah. Like in your school. No, I do not lick swords.

That's fair. Well, technically speaking, the tongue can lick both a pen and a sword. But like did you have to go through like training on like how to deal with people like psychologically and stuff like that? Yeah, it's called medical school. I mean, first of all, why is everyone giving me so much credit for being patient? Are your doctors doge bags to you? Absolutely. I think it's really kind of yeah.

Are they? I got into a fight at the hospital last year. I told you this. What? With a physical fight? I couldn't get up. I was in the hospital for some stuff. Infections.

that's things. That's the medical term. We need the plague doctor to come in and confirm. But so a doctor came in to speak with me and was, you know, I was expressing my frustration with the facility, with my situation, and he cut me off. And he's like, listen, young man, consider yourself lucky that you're being treated. And like, listen, I am very much so, like,

when it comes to, like, customer service representatives and people dealing with people like that, I am very patient. But in that situation, like, to sit there and just be like, you listen to, like, basically wagging his finger in my face. I was like, what the, so I was the God complex. I got, it was, right? It happens. I got fucking heated. And Becca, like, my wife had to, like, put her hands on me.

She's like, you need a chill. Wow. Okay. Frankie left a bad Yelp review after that. Oh, yeah. I'm not big on Yelp. I've never yelled. I've never Yelp. But so we, in preparation for today's episode, wrote down a couple questions that we need help with.

Okay. Personally. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, maybe one or two, and that might be personal for me. I cannot confirm that all of them will be personal for any of us, maybe, Ann. I see at least seven on there that are specifically personal to me. So when we got to them. I don't like that. So I guess we can kind of start with the top one you brought up in one of your videos.

Someone in this room has incredibly wet ears. Now, that's not how you say it. Wet. Soaking wet. Wet. Just say a regular wet. You're performing. Now you're throwing off.

You said regular wet. Say it how you would normally say it. I have wet ears. Yeah, that's correct. That's interesting. That's interesting. Yeah, there's something going on there. Medically, what the hell is that?

Yeah. Why would he have wet ears? Why would he have wet ears? And like, could he like do something to help? Also, they're wet. Right now? Like a lot? Right now.

With these on and this hat, eventually they'll be soaking. Well, that's sweat. No, no, no, inside. You know? Okay. Well, like, why would he have wet ears?

I'm worried about infection. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because that wet can be discharge. Ooh. That's a bad one. That's concerning.

Gross word. Also, genetically, his earwax might be thinner. Is that a thing? Oh, you're talking shit about your dad, too. Yeah.

Your dad is. My dad's ears sucked too. Thin earwax. Your dad's back in ears, dude. So, like, wait, hold on.

Now, this is a serious question, too. There's different textures Some people have thicker ones. Some people have dryer thicker. Some people have wetter. Be honest.

You like those videos of people like getting them out of their ears? I hate it. What? Hate. Why? You hate getting the airwax out? Yes. I love them.

Do you know how many people come to me with busted tympanic membranes because they were digging around in their ears after watching a video? We're going to back that up. Real quick. What's the definition of that? What's a timpani? Ear drum. Okay. You could have used the layman's term.

Why I had to flex. Yeah, where is the eardrum? So if I, because I have one of those things. Yeah, don't look for it. So it's next to the,

the hammer. Oh, the stabies. You're giving me all the, right. I got stabies, baby. No, there's like the cochlear thing in there,

right? Yeah, the cochlear nerve. So. I fucking know shit, bro. Wait, this is really interesting because everyone loves digging in their ears with Q-tips, and that is the bane of every E&T

doctor's world and family medicine. Because they create so much irritation inside their ears, they get something known as otitis externa. Oh, God. Sounds like a rest. Outer ear infection. Okay. We like creating fancy terms for some problems.

Don't like young kids. You like doing that too. Stop that. Can't you get like a surgery to prevent, like, chronic ear infections or something like that? No, what they do is they put tubes in in order to decrease that pressure from people who get recurrent infections. Yeah. For kids usually.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how am I supposed to clean my ears? You don't, dude. Sop clean themselves. Self clean? Yeah. If you get a build up. of ear wax and you're like, oh, now I can't hear because I have a build of your wax.

There's drops that melt the ear wax, make it more wet. Nope. And it cleans itself and it has a good shape. Actually, the ear canal is shaped such that it's supposed to make the ear wax naturally come out and you could just wipe the outside, which is what's happening. I'll be hanging out sometimes and I'll just go like that and fucking ear wax will fall out for us. If the Q-tips aren't supposed to be in there, why does it feel so good when you put them in your ear? Ooh, is there like a G-spot in your ear?

I've never heard it ask that way. What happens when you use Q-tips, man? I don't use Q-tips. I am an anti-Cutpper. Yeah, I haven't used a Q-tip in a while. The Q-tip is meant for external cleaning purposes. Like the right here. Yeah.

Okay. So don't put it inside your ear. And what happens is if you have already irritated skin inside the ear canal and then you're rubbing it, just like when you have an itchy spot from like eczema, it's itchy and it feels good to scratch it, but then you're damaging your skin. So same principle, just inside your ear. I'll tell you what. There was a time where I've probably done irreversible damage to my ear.

Because I'm thinking that if I got this thing, like I've heard that you don't use a Q-tip, you're pushing the earwax in and that caused the problem. So I'm like, okay, that's the only issue with Q-tips, because I don't know. So you were scooping. So I was scooping. Oh, that's dangerous. Scoopin's bad?

Well, yeah, because you're hitting the skin inside there. Yeah. Again, earwax is also protective. It prevents the ear canal from drying out. What the fuck? It prevents bugs from wanting to hang out there. It catches debris. Yo, I know.

How often does that happen? That's a big thing. That happens. That shit happens. My fucking, I know someone that, like, they were on like a canoe kayak situation down a river and a fucking moth flew in their ear. Oh. Is that something you see?

I mean, not often. Okay. Good. But I did just have a pediatric ear doctor come on my show tell me about a situation where child was eating a sandwich and had some throat pain afterwards. and they thought, oh, it's a barbecue. Maybe there was a metal wire girl brush stuck in their throat. And they did see something on the imaging, but they couldn't quite see what it was.

Any guesses? Spider. Ant. I don't know. Prameantis. Potato chip. That's your guess. Potato chip.

They're spiky. They hurt sometimes. I don't know. The final letter of whatever it is that you're saying is always interesting. Potato chip. Chip. What? Potato chip.

Cockroach leg No! I mean leg, that's not that bad. Leg with the little spines? Oh, that's why I don't know what the medical term for the cockroach leg spine is. Yeah, it's like one of those, you know what I mean? They're barbed.

Like barbed. Barbed. I told you, dude, I told you on the smart one here. It's a cockroach leg. Well, you grew up in the same, well, you grew up in New York. You're on our age. You're a couple years older, which means you're basically aged into us. Did you ever hear the myth of the person that got like cockroach

eggs in their tongue or something like that do you remember that? I remember it was like one of those like 90s myths that like Marilyn Manson taking you know the ribs out or something like that but it was like the story was like someone licked an envelope that had a cockroach egg on it and it got into like the crease of their tongue and they had like tongue pain

and they cut it open and fucking like cockroach eggs fell out and shit like that. Oh my god. That sounds like a Ripley's believe it or not. It does. It was. It was. It was. And it was hosted by Dean Kane and he's never not been anything but incredibly accurate about everything. No idea. who that is. Now I'm just terrified. Because this thing, can this, can I, can I, I'm just, I just irritated my ear, but it's fine.

I can. Well, I'm hoping you solved it. Like your body's immune system solved it. And the repair mechanism solved it. Well, I haven't, I also didn't know that you just don't clean out your ears. You're not supposed to do that. It's self cleaning. Self cleaning.

Ears and vaginas. Two miracles of life. No, no, self cleaning. Yeah. Yeah. And a dog's mouth? I don't know. No, no, you should brush that.

I'm not trying to do this to Frank in front of guests, obviously. But this is good. The cockroach egg case, hatching on the tongue, a persistent urban legend, and a hoax. I said it was a popular rumor. I didn't say it was real. You tried to get me into that. No, I tried to ask if you've ever heard of something like that. How much did RFK pay you to say that?

Yeah, that's crazy. None. You're trying to get me, not you? He just paid me nothing, trust me. He does love whole milk, though, so we don't know. To be fair, whole milk is delicious. As long as you don't go raw, we're okay. In a hot tub with Kid Rock, though, I don't know any drink that would be good enough to have that.

Are you a big fan of the raw milk content? I am not. I'm the enemy. No, I'm an anti-milker. Anti-Rall milker. An anti-Raw milker. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, that is.

I think of myself less as an anti-Raw milker and more of an anti-get parasite bacteria in your coloner. Oh, we're on the same page, me. I feel like we are right there. I'd like to have that out of my colon as well. Well, what? I'm not even going to talk about your colon. Ant, can you tee up the next question for us, please, sir? Which, anything specific from your life?

See, stop doing this. Frankie, S. here. I didn't ask anything. We were asked to provide questions, and I provided a ton. Okay, so does eating one hot dog really take 10 minutes away from your life doesn't apply to you at all? That one is me. That one is 100% me. Yeah.

10 minutes. Well, they said, I mean, like, yeah. Who is the day? The medical at large. Big doctor. Big doctor. Yeah. These population studies cannot be translated into statistics that simplistically.

So when we say like, oh, in general, nuts are healthy to eat. Yes, people love nuts. People should enjoy nuts. But the nut is not going to make you live eight years longer. So these are epidemiological studies that have been oversimplified. So no, a hot dog does not show it in your life by 10 minutes. Thank God. But it could be a factor in.

It could be. But it's an ultra-processed meat, which you should limit in your diet. Well, what if you get, like, good deli hot dogs? It's the fourth of July. What about, yeah, like, what if it's, like, does the, does the, having it with a beer or seven beers offset the damage of the hot dogs? You sound like, I had this, this is sick. I had a doctor come on my show and tell me that a healthy diet can remove the negative impacts of smoking. And he's like, if you smoke, you can live longer.

He said that on my show to my thing. He's like, yo, if you just... Do you ever want me just fucking... Rip heaters. Just fucking bang. Like, I want to hit my head at your side. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that's why I couldn't believe you.

When you're watching the... When I'm watching the surrounding, I'm like, dude, if this is me. No, the smoking thing got me, like, hard. It hit me in the heart. I'm like, you operated on people's hearts. And you think smoking makes people live longer? And he's just saying, like, if you eat healthy,

but you just... Yeah, and he said the longest living people in the world smokes so we should also... And I'm like, bro. What is with that, by the way? That is... There's like old Italian women who live in the hills and they're like, oh, I'm 109 and I have wine every day and I, you know. Well, yeah, she's the one that makes the video that goes viral.

But her 99 friends that had the same lifestyle that didn't live long. No one's hearing their TikToks from the grave. One that died at 42. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. That's why when, like, RFK goes, we got to make America healthy again. I'm like, which time frame do you want to go back to? Because in the 1900s, we live to age 30.

Right. Yeah, exactly. What are you looking for? Ancestors lived and I'm like they were 5'2 Tostub meant death He would visit you in that outfit To help your to Tostub Diarrhea

If you could die from diarrhea I'd be dead 100 million times Worldwide people are still dying of diarrhea Yeah it's a problem elsewhere We know this obviously as medical profession Now I'm gonna hit you No like Obviously we're big fans of hot dogs here

And we like to indulge every now And every day I'm not hyper optimist. Enjoy a hot dog. How much you like hot dogs? I love hot dogs. Fuck yeah, dude.

Sourcrow, mustard. Oh, you love. He hates mustard. I hate mustard. Love sourcrow. Poor kid. Love sourcour. It tastes like just garbage to me.

He had an experience when he was younger and I think that like it just carried. Oh yeah. It shaped the rest of my life. I was like. Feel free to stay past. Oh, no, no, I'm going to tell you. If you ask me for a story.

This could be wildly traumatic. If you're asking for a story, you're getting it. My father died and a mustard accent. I was like young. I was like five or six. They cut open his tongue and there was mustard seeds everywhere. Yes. When you're a kid, when like you need to know exactly what you're eating all the time.

I was like five or six and someone gave me a bologna sandwich and I fucking love bologna. And I didn't realize that on the bologna sandwich was mustard. So when I bit into it, it's the shock. It was so shocking to me. And then since then I've not had it. I mean, we could pull back the fourth wall a little bit. I've had mustard recently and, like, in the near, like, recent future, like, the recent future. The recent past.

The one that's coming soon. The recent past. And it's just like, all right. But like, yellow mustard, I can't even, I can't even stomach it. So golden, honey? I've had, like, like, like, um, you would get a wendy's nugget in a honey mustard? No, no, no, no. Wow.

Honey mustard's crazy that you don't like that. No, I can't. Honey mustard's candy. Yeah. What's in it, though? Honey and mustard. Well, in the Wendy's one, that's question. Yeah, I mean, we don't.

Guar gum. They go like, never frozen meat, but you don't know what's in our honey mustard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I forgot what it was. I think it was like a Starbucks drink or something one time, and they like put out this unicorn frappet or something like that. And literally one of the ingredients was pink. Yeah.

And I was like, how is that legal to say just pink? Pink. I know it's pink. Yeah, well, we just wanted to make sure we knew where you stood. on hot dogs. I love hot dogs. How often, how many a year

would you say on average you have? And be fucking honest, Doc. I'm sorry, sorry, Doc. I'll have 20 a year. Dude, that's a good number.

20 a year? God, damn it. And he's, and only because when I do indulge instead a hot dog, it's crazy. I do three.

Yeah, yeah. You have to. If you're at the barbecue, right? And people are like, I'm taking orders, hot dogs hamburgers. And are we counting?

Three dogs? Pigs in a blanket. No, those are one. Pigs in a blanket, doc. We're talking about hundreds now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's not a hundred and 20 in the hole. The big places where I have them are at sporting events. Right. Because I know Madison Square Garden, as you experts will know. Right, right. They have fancy foods now. Yeah.

You can get like a flay of fish and sushi and weird stuff. So when I go to a sports game, I get a hot dog. Okay. That's how I am. Not per se healthy food, but also. I'm at the game. What in Rome? Life is not healthy.

Right. That's right. No one gets out alive. All the good sword tongue quotes you got. Thank you so much. No one gets out alive. No one gets out alive. It's true.

Only two things in life are guaranteed. Death, taxes. Well, some people don't pay taxes. Dad, looking at you. Dad, are you there? Answer me, dad. So, but when you're out of barbecue, there's hamburgers and hot dogs. What's the order in there?

Do you go one in one? I try and pick. Like I'll go either team hot dog or team cheeseburger. Does it depend on who's making them? No. Oh. I don't discriminate. A hot dog's a hot dog.

Okay, I can't believe I'm saying this on camera. I've never had a bad hot dog. Yo, me neither. I mean, it's a hard one to mess up. You can mess it up. You ever had a Colombian hot dog? Actually, you know what? I have had a bad hot dog.

Now that I think about it. Why, who made that? Bro, my dad, when I was like a teenager, I made it, okay. No. When I was like a teenager, my dad, my dad was like, oh, we're going to a Colombian burger joint. And I don't know if you've ever gone to like the Jackson Heights area of Queens.

It's like Little Columbia. Okay. And they gave me a hamburger, a cheeseburger and a hot dog that had like, I couldn't even tell you what was on it. It was like it was wetter than like if you would just taking it out from underwater. The hot dog. Yeah. And it was bad. I couldn't eat it.

I got sick from it. It was that bad. I think it was like raw ham on there at one point. Oh, that's a weird choice. Which like, I love ham. But that's not the hot dog's fault then. It's the person who cooked it. It's the person who cooked it.

Additional. Acutramal. Acuthramant. That's right. What's our next question before we keep going down the hot dog? I have to say, the worst hot dog I ever had, now that I think about it, is in Russian culture, I came to America when I was six. My parents would make me a hot dog, cheap food, protein. It would be called sassiska.

Sassiska. Sassiska. Sassiska. Sassiska. Satsiska. She would boil it. Oh, but a boiled hot dog is good. Oh, you got to grill those

It just wasn't great. My dad would microwave them And put it on like eggs Like eggs Put it on eggs And hot dogs That's what I would have as my immigrant meal That's what I used to have as a young lad too

What's your background? My father's Columbia And my mom is Greek and Egyptian Okay So but my mom didn't Which culture you think Led that hot dog egg experiment The father

Let's make that abundantly clear My mom was like trying to like eat healthy and like had fruit and stuff in the house wow chips you remember those chips no you don't remember do you remember wow chips are those like healthy they were the ones they were like healthy corn chips but they were like they had something in them that made people shit their pants i don't know if my mom shit her pants but my dad was the one that'd be like you know for breakfast here's a fucking lollipop and eggs and hot dogs which nice it's a healthy breakfast right there times you well based on the new food pyramid or upside down food pyramid that's

Yes, yes, yes. My, my, uh, my fiance has a master's in public health. So I've gotten the whole, the food pyramid is definitely a sore spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's like, in, in what way? What upsets her most? Well, she's like, just very, she's like, this is completely insane. Like, everything that they're doing, like, everything's upside down or whatever, but, um,

or like there should be, like, more veggies or something in there. I forget the exact. Well, all those things are right. Yeah. But the wildest thing is they're attacking the food pyramid that, we haven't used in like 20 years. Yeah. Can you imagine if I go and I start fact-checking from when they were plague doctors

and being like, I can't believe doctors did this stupid. Yeah. Well, yeah, they didn't know. They didn't have microscopes. Yeah. And also, that was another thing, too. I feel like the food pyramid was just like something that was on the wall. In one room.

But no one talked about it. Yeah. I mean, we talked about it. It was 20 years ago. So we learned, we got better. And then they go, remember that thing they did? Yeah, 20 years ago. We don't do that anymore.

Yeah. We learned from it. We got better. What about the plate? Yeah, the healthy plate. The healthy plate. Yeah, that was the replacement for the food pyramid. Right.

And it was a good plate. Yeah. Fruits, vegetables, beans. That's an easier way to kind of figure out, like, how you're supposed to eat. But there were no hot dogs on this plate. There was definitely not a hot dog. Unfortunately, there were no hot dog. I mean, can you imagine?

It's protein, I'm sure. If you have enough of them. I mean, it's ultra-processed meat and ultra-processed meat. If you consume enough of it, it does raise your risk of certain conditions. I just, I want to say you're thrown around the ultra-processed like it's a bad thing. Oh, it is. I know. Well, for your colon.

Well, listen, man. My colonelps is in the past, my friend. That ship has sailed. Yeah, that ship has sailed. Okay. What are we got next to it? Considering that you were so curious about these things, would you like to go to male nipples or piss?

What would you like to do? Can you stop this? Just give us the question. Okay. Not me, Frankie. No. I often hold my pee to the point my stomach hurts. Why does it make my stomach hurt?

Okay, that was made. You're using I. You can't hide. That's fair. That is fair. Why do you do you do that? Why do you hold it? I'm on a long car ride or...

Oh, I thought you're doing like a fun game. I mean, sometimes I like to... I've said this before. Sometimes I like to, like, wait until like I have to, like, I'm about to piss to go pee. Which I've been told is probably a bad thing to do. I feel like you can feel that. Uh...

Yeah. Yeah, but I don't. Like, I'll be... What was even the question? I don't know. What was the question? Why am I holding my... So if, like...

If someone were... to hold in like they're pissed why does their stomach start to hurt? Related nerves in the same area but really it's it's lower abdominal super pubic discomfort that you're having super don't talk about my don't talk about my super it is super super super supra super you don't have a super pubic care I don't talk about my super pubes you don't know about my super's nuts let's go regular average pubic here So it's just like discomfort in the area is going to affect every.

Yeah. And the longer urine sits in the bladder, the more static it is, meaning it's not moving around. The more likely it is to develop a stone, the more likely to develop an infection. So you want to keep things moving. All right. Before we get to the rest of this episode, we do have some sponsors. The first one being Kachava, okay?

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okay so go to kachava dot com and use that code basement you will save 15% off give it a try i would suggest doing the chocolate one that's my favorite so tell me that one's bad uh and uh yeah enjoy that um and we also have better help this podcast is sponsored by better help which is online therapy and yeah with better help you can get help in just under 48 hours if you're looking to talk to a therapist i've been in therapy myself for many years and i think that is very helpful for anybody across the board not just for people that are going through something traumatic but it's very helpful just it's like going to the gym for your brain that's what a lot of people describe it as i would i would agree and yeah so it's a lot of uh it's it's just it helps a lot so definitely go check out

better help uh it is helping a lot of people worldwide and um Yeah, and you can go to betterhelp.com slash basement yard, and you will save 10% off of your first month. That is betterhelp.com slash baseman yard to save 10% off of your first month. So go check that out. And yeah, now back to the show. I think there was another urine-related question in there. Oh, you're in trouble, man.

Yeah, I think, well, I think if I remember, I'll ask it. Because I... This one is yours. I'm going to be honest. my name most of them are mine yeah most of them are mine um but like we've seen examples of people drinking you have like bare grills he likes to drink it you know I don't know why out of necessity yeah it's not and apparently it's he's got a like wait it doesn't no it doesn't hydrate you at all no oh well that completely he hydrates you

worse that completely ruins my question because it's all the toxins that you're getting out of your body that you're readjusting no toxins up thank you thank God I mean the general concept right nope it's waste but not toxins. So what is the argument? He's saying it does. Yeah, and it just does it. And you're saying it dehydrates you.

It's not dehydrates you. It does not hydrate you. It's not a replacement for drinking water. And there's people that think like it gives them some sort of nutrient that they're missing. They're like, oh, it has electrolytes. I'm like, so do food. Yeah. So do if you really love electrolytes, take the supplement.

Yeah, yeah. You don't need to drink the urine. Look in the camera and tell Bear Grills he's an idiot. I did a whole reaction video to his thing, calling him out, so I feel bad. And he does things that I can never do, so I can't call him an name. Of course. Like, Dring his pit. And him and my dog shared the same name.

So, well, so. You want to hear something crazy? His name's not there. No way. No, duh. It's like Arnold. Look on Bear Girl's name. And my name, to be fair, if my name was Arnold, I'm changing it to bear.

I mean, if you're a guy that goes out and, like, lives with bears, and I think you can call yours. I don't think he lives with bears. Well, you know, he's like around him. He avoids wild stuff. He does do crazy stuff. I can't sit here. I'm watching through Alone.

Have you ever seen that show? Yes. It's a good show. I think we, didn't we react to that too? Man, we do a lot of reactions. He didn't do it at all. Naked and afraid alone. Naked and afraid is crazy.

Yeah, that's weird. I don't know how people do that because I would be afraid of being naked and then afraid of. Yeah. Yeah, the bugs. Forget the bugs. That's why people are like, it's natural. Like, bugs are natural. They'll eat your super pubic area.

Thank you so much. I appreciate you referencing my super pubic. His name was Edward. Edward I said was I didn't mean that yeah he's a lot still he changed it yeah that's true well did he illegally and Michael Edward Michael grills wait is Guy Fierry's real name guy I actually think so I think that is a real name that's cool imagine it was Edward just getting a baby and being like I mean like I've delivered babies if I walked in I you delivered babies yeah dude that's crazy I bring the baby and I say what's the babies

they go bear I go question yeah no you'd be like this is pretty sick what's the coolest baby name that you've helped I don't know they're They're not cool. Come on. They're standard. They're names. You hear them, you forget them. Frank, Mike, Joe.

And that's patient privacy. I can't tell you that. I mean, you're going to break hip-in right now? Yeah. You got me, honestly. Yeah, you got me. You got me. So you've delivered babies as well.

I think I delivered 38 babies. 30-8 babies. 30-8. To keep a log during residency. Do you think, have any of those babies gotten old to the point where they're just like, you delivered me? I love the video.

Yeah, they're my patients, though. Family medicine, baby. It's beautiful. Deliver the baby, take care of the baby. Take care of the baby. everybody. It's sick. It's an amazing job. It's such a crazy. And they're just like, yo.

And one of the lowest paying specialties, which we should change. Yeah. What the fuck? Doctors. It's the doctors that are withholding it. It's the hospitals. That's right. It's the privately owned hospitals that are to blame. Let's blame someone right now. Bear grills is the blame. My question was going to be, and I guess you're not going to be able to answer this because you've already debunked that urine is good to drink.

I was going to ask that if you were to let it. Can I throw something in real clear? Of course. A famous celebrity the other day messaged me asking me if she should drink her own urine because her friend was doing it. Can I blow up her spot? I would love to break HIPAA right now. Well, no, it wasn't. It wasn't an official patient consultation.

I love that. I mean, I don't want you to call them out. It was an exclusive. First time saying this on air. Mariah Carey. Kristen Bell, I can't believe. What? You really consider drinking urine.

That is insane. Can't drink. Can't drink. You said no. I said no. I did it respectfully, of course. But then it turned out one of her castmates on her show was actually tricking her into thinking she was drinking urine by creating drinks that look like urine. So much so that she just reach out to me.

That's a great prank. That's a really good prank that one of us is going to try. Yeah, very close. Well, it got her so much that she's like, Let me ask this doctor I know on social media. That is honestly, that's a level of pranking that like it just gets into their psyche and I just like, I kind of need to do their legwork on this. Well, it puts life into perspective for me because she can reach out at her disposal, Ivy League physicians, all these people that run departments. She goes, no, let me ask the YouTube dude.

So like that's where I fall in. You're probably more trusted than most like medical professional. I would hope so. You have the most, I mean, I don't know, but I feel like the. access that you have through social media is like that's what makes that true. Yeah. People are like, I'm going to ask. Well, I also aim to be as transparent as possible so people know why I'm recommending things.

Yeah. As opposed to just being like the doctor you had that was like, screw you. Sorry, screw you. That was me. Yeah, I was getting screwed by the doctor. Yeah. Well, that's a different. That's breaking hip, but for sure.

Can't have that. Now I know where the infection came from. But also I just want to like just. give you like the, like, you still work in a hospital. Oh, yeah. Half the week is hospital life, which is training residents. So when they see patients, they need to present the patient to me. If they need help with the procedure, it's complicated, I'll go in with them.

And then I also see my own patients. And any of your patients, I've ever been like, wait a second. All the time. Really? Yeah. It happens now more than ever because YouTube is so prevalent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's only been a positive, largely.

That's good. Yeah. I went to the hospital once and it was that same hospital visit. And they said, like, listen, we need to treat you for possible sepsis. We need you to undress. And I was... This is multi... You've been septic multiple times?

My guy. What are you doing? That's why I'm talking hot dogs don't mean the things to me, this. You've been septic multiple times. Are you immunocompromised? Oh, yeah. Oh. I got it all.

No, I don't. Not at all. He's going for the record. But like they said like we need to you need to like get in the in the gown the robe And I was in such bad situation that they were like do you want help? Yeah Getting undressed and I was like sure and they got me in the robe and the guy goes by the way Huge fan and then he walked out the room I was like yo this guy just saw my infected wiener like body Don't do that no I've you're not infected that's I mean you were leading us right there I mean I feel like me isn't infected

individual. That's what I meant to say. People do sound different. Weird times. I've gotten complimented before on my content at the urinal. Oh, I mean, that's crazy play. I was going to say if anything that's normal. Is it? Or I'm going to be like, like your stuff.

Like your work. A ton of followers, huh? A doctor saw my penis recently. But that didn't happen to me. Yeah. So he wasn't like, saw my penis was like big fan because that I'd be like, all right. It's a pre-penis conversation.

Feel free to pass. What was the feedback? Bad penis? He said bad penis. He looked at me and he went, Buh, he went, oh my God! And then he just, no, I went to the dermatologist

and he just got like a quick, like a, okay. And he said everything was all good. Good, but I don't know if he was talking about, sick. Was he sick about the news cycle? Yeah, yeah. Everything's all good out there.

In here, though, kind of rough. Yeah, I don't know how it was, how, you know, it also wasn't my best, it wasn't a good time. I wasn't expecting it to happen. Bad dick day is what he's referencing. And it was, you know, it's a doctor's office. It's cold. Yeah. The lights, you know, the lights.

I don't know how that plays in fact. Whatever you need to say. Yeah. I'm glad someone is calling him out on his bullshit. I'm saying whatever. I appreciate it. Normally it's just me having to call him out on his nonsense. I try not to use words.

like good or bad, I try and describe what I'm looking at. Great, awesome. No, those are also not really good. Shitty. Everything looks normal. Everything looks normal. But is it normal subject? Isn't normal subjective?

It's actually objective. Oh, in the medical sense. Well, that's what I'm here for. Grammar. Like anything, so we have the subjective portion of the exam, which is you tell me everything that's going on. Yeah. So you telling me it's normal is subjective. Me looking at it and writing that it's normal.

That's objective, yeah. Don't cut them off. I don't know what's going on. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Absolutely. You're going to fuck out of here, dude. No, but I get what you're saying, like, normal in the sense of, like, what the body should be doing in this situation is normal. Sure.

Don't sure. You got, you got nothing. Two thumbs. You got it, Frank. You walked us there. What else we got over there? I just want to make a note here that the bear grills drinking. Frankie curious about drinking his own pee is not on here.

I'm the official list. Oh, you added that. No, I did send that over. It must have been. Oh, maybe I deleted that question when I... It got scrub. It got scrub. Because what I was going to ask is if it's sterile and you can drink it, in theory,

can you age it like wine and it would be tastier? Oh. That sounds so horrific. I wouldn't do it. I'm just asking. I would put that beneath raw milk. Aged urine. Oh, that's a good question.

So are you more likely to drink raw milk or 10-day-old? piss. Do you ever think you'd be sitting in this room right here answering these questions when you went through medical school? We're going to get a long email of cuts later. Hey guys, remember that? Piss or raw milk? The raw milk thing, I think is so interesting.

Why do you think they're almost allowed to sell it, I guess? They're not in some places But then they say it's for animal consumption and not for humans and they bypass the rules Much in the way that they sell peptides these days. I'm sure you guys have heard of peptides Yeah, of course They're not really allowed to sell peptides but they sell them for research purposes only So it's just these loopholes It's a loophole

I think doesn't like women's breast milk the same way Like What? I'm kind of Cutting that on the episode and just replaying it a thousand times. I heard that it's like, legally you can't sell women's breast milk. But like, there's a market for them. Talk day of work for Dr. Mark, man.

There's a market for them. I sat surrounded by 20 anti-vaxxers and it wasn't as tough as this conversation. It's getting hot. I take that hot. It's getting hot. Hey, look at you. You're dressed beating a sound. I'm taking that off.

You're wearing three. Dresses take your leather skirt off your neck. I think you'll cool off these are the deleted seeds from the Kid Rock R of K video Oh my god we just talked about that. That was crazy first of all cold plunging jeans Come on. Yeah, that is that is something I guess so going on with his legs like you're scarred up legs my legs I do my legs are more mostly scars The sepsis no no no no I was I was elsewhere baby No no no I I one time on an episode said that like I had to get my leg like shaved or or something and I saw like I was like oh my god I have so many scars

on my leg from what just like like hitting it against you know like sports hitting it against something and like it just heals and you did like a kickboxing thing I never did kickboxing believe this is not even true so I don't even know what sport soccer uh I played football I played baseball you keep saying sports I don't require hitting your leg so I'm curious football football football football because he said it when he was young were you a kicker Football, no, but like when you get like turf burn, that can leave scarring when you like, people are like scratch. Your legs aren't mostly scars. What are you justifying? I am referencing. I one time had my, my knee got cut open by an axe. That happened. That left scars.

I got new surgery. No, that was another one. Yeah. I don't like how this episode is being targeted at me. I just got to say. You're pulling the reins here, buddy. You got any other questions that feel like they're not from Frank? I know that answers no, but. Um, feel like they're not from Frank. Uh, yeah, sure. It is a, what is more useless an appendix or male nipples? And if you suck male nipples long enough, will they lactate? Okay. I did write the first half of the question.

I don't know where that second half came from. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we were on breast milk. The appendix. The appendix. What is? I'm glad that's where you went first.

No, yeah, yeah. I'm trying to save this episode. You're warming me up to it. We'll get to the other stuff first. You got to foreplay the nipples a little bit. The appendix, though. We can pull that right out. The gallbladder, I think there's another one.

You can just pull out. We're good. Yeah, they have utility, but you can't live without. You can live with one kidney. Right. But you prefer to have two. It's nice to have a backup. But an appendix.

An appendix. What does it actually do? Yeah. It functions as part of your immune system when you're young. It also is a home for the microbiome, some of the bacteria that naturally colonize your intestine. So it does have some uses, but you can't live without it. So like at a certain point, you said when you were young, so at a certain point, does it kind of like stop pulling its own weight? It's not a life-sustaining organ.

Retire. Can't live without, I guess you could live without both kidney because you get dialysis. Can't live without a full liver. Can't live without a full heart. Can't live without a brain. I'm curious. You have to answer when I count to three. Oh man.

Most important organ in the body that you believe. One, two, three. Skin. Or brain. I was thinking one of you would say heart or one of you would say brain. I would say that's beautiful. But you want skin. Well, you can't.

What's the biggest organ? No, no, no. I mean, like, everything is held together by your skin. That's fair. It's probably held together by your fascia, but. Oh, fascia. Yeah. The organ that has least talked about.

What is the fat? It's everywhere. It holds you together. Like if you ever done a dissection in anatomy lab, you'll see that there's a lot of weird connective tissue. Like, what is that? That's fashia. Of the plantar variety. Of the full body variety.

Plantar fasciitis. My actual answer was brain. I forget that I said skin. Okay. So why brain? Controls everything. Why heart? I mean, if it stops, we're done.

But you can live with an artificial heart. Can't live with an artificial brain. How long can you live with artificial heart? What is an artificial heart? This is you. I'm not helping this. You're in the hot seat. I don't know.

Not a full life. We're getting there. Longer than you can without an artificial heart of an artificial. You can't live in an artificial brain for a second. Well, if you give someone, no, you can. So I'm right? Yeah. What was it?

Brain? I'm on a roll. I think brain is more important. you could have brain death and still have heart and lung function by having a ventilator keep you alive. However, if you lose a full brain,

you lose the ability to even have the heart pumps. I always remember the story like learning about it in psychology of like Phineas Gage. Yeah, and I thought that was like crazy. Because you hear about like any sort of like trauma to the brain, you think like as a kid, it's just like,

oh, it's instant. And this guy got a fucking like whole rod through his head continue to live. Do you think there's any part of the body organ or just whatever part that eventually will be born without? Like we're just not using? Man, see, this is a great question.

I'm not smart enough to answer that question. Fair enough. We got him with one. We got him with one. I wrote that one. He's just not going to say something that he doesn't know for sure. No, of course.

Well, this is why you're trusted is because in that situation, something's going to happen with our mouths because our mouths are getting smaller. Is that true? Well, that's why all everyone's molars are impacted now. What about like my- But I'm not a dentist, so I'm speaking outside of my-

Pinky Toe. What about it? Balance point. Oh, your pinky toe though? Pinky and Big Toe. Yeah. But like mine is like sideways now. You never saw Heartbreak Kid?

I did see Heartbreak Kid. Remember he was telling her the lie about hanging out with a guy at golf and he only had the outer toes? I don't remember that well. I like movies. He only had the outside? Yeah, he's like, it allowed him to make him. maintain the swing. Can we play the clips?

I don't know. No, it's fine. No, finally, you look like an idiot for once. It was a good movie. Underrated. First movie I ever got kicked out of. What? Sexist? No, Heartbreak kid. I tried to go watch Heartbreak kid with my, like, high school girlfriend,

and they were like, you're not watching this, and they kicked me out. Because? I was 13. So you tried to sneak out? Oh, yeah. You ever sneak into that movie? Do you ever sneak into that movie? Do you ever sneak in to a movie? Would you consider yourself a bad boy criminal?

I've definitely been over the speed limit by a couple of miles an hour. Yeah. So I got to admit to that. I've seen the cars. I would too, to be honest. Do I ever sneak in to a movie here? I feel like I must have overstayed and watched two movies. Yeah, that's a big one.

I did one of those things. You gotta hide a little bit or something. I don't think I even hit. It was just like middle of the day and they're like, no one's here. We don't care. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to ask you a series of questions. That's what a podcast is.

Go ahead. These are two different answers. What's your favorite movie of all time? And what's the best movie of all time? My favorite movie of all time is not one people love. That's okay. Mine too. Man on Fire.

That's a good movie. Oh, okay. I think it's so underrated. Denzel. Oh, yeah. Dakota Fanning. A lot of celebrity appearances, Mark Anthony. music is phenomenal

stories great Scott directing I mean it was good stuff what was your answer the mask you know that I'm not a Jim Carrey thing oh why what happened

I don't know I just you said that with like hate in your heart no no when I came to America like he was really popular and I was just like ah it was okay oh okay

like Moose Almighty was okay a liar liar was kind of cool he loves the mask and I watched it in Within the last two years, and it sucks. It doesn't. It is so good. It doesn't hold up.

It is so good. All right. Now, but if you were in like a, you know, like bar room conversation with your buddies, what do you think, would you argue is the best movie of all the time? It's so hard to pick one. I have a list, but I really, I find myself coming back to Goodwill Hunting a lot. Really? I just watched that recently again.

So good. Like Shawshank. Shawshank. Good fellow. Love a good fellas. I've rewatched a million times. Hell yeah. I'm like almost sick of it now.

Yeah. But you know what's sick? If it's still on, I still like it. Hell yeah. The hoof. The hoof. You cut the hook. What about, what about, uh, I remember, I, I had knee surgery and I remember waking up and it was like a party in there with like music and shit like that.

You woke up during your surgery? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was, uh. Did you leave a bad yelp review for that one? Yeah. The attacks on me today.

I'm just going to throw this out there. are out of control. No, no, no, no. I mean, I would. If I wake up mid-surgery, I'm writing a negative. I asked. So it was high school sports. My knee was destroyed.

And they said like, hey, you can wake up during the surgery if you want, we'll give you an epidural. They offered that? Yeah. Oh, wow. And I was like, it was paid for by the freaking like public school system. So I was just like, fuck it. Yeah. Okay, whatever.

So you woke up. And I woke. Controlled pain free. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I woke up and there was like cold play was going. And people were like. Yeah. Surgeon's jam. What's your jam music? I know you're not a surgeon. I know you're not a surgeon. I'm saying like, what is your jam music?

White noise. We play white noise so the other patients in the other rooms can't hear the conversation. I'm asking you what your gym music is, Doug. I don't know. Like top 50 stuff. Nothing special. Eminem. I just listened to Kill Shot this morning.

I don't know why. It hit my TikTok team. Kill shot? Yeah. That is crazy. Okay. What year? No, it's just like so.

It wasn't that long ago. It was like five years ago? Was it? I don't know. Making it sound like Killshite came out in the 70s and I'm like,

he loves He loves First of all I said Beatles You give me props But I said Kilshite You go that long ago

Well no not Not the length It was the The song It feels so random Like it's not like A top 50 song like that Like he loves like

Fucking pit bull Or flow writers He does My dad likes pit bull Your dad likes pit bull Yeah We're learning about This guy in real time

Wow Yeah It sucks for your dad It happens Joey loves to point out people's lack of, you know, current music. Well, who do you guys like? No, Joe's going to listen to like, he'll be like a surrogate.

Drake, which team are you on? One, two, three. One, two, three. I was, I can't. One, two, three. One, two, three. I don't know enough about it. I will say, though, that, like, of the music I've heard, I like more.

Kendrick Lamar stuff than I do Drake stuff. Who's hotter Matt Damon or Brad Pitt, one, two, three? Matt Damon. What are we talking about? Hotter? I mean, you like Matt Damon, oh, ma'am? I don't know. I think Matt Damon.

Brad Pitt, there's some stuff. I just watched a, he's hot, what are you going to do? I mean, I'm not excusing whatever. I don't even know what you're talking about. You know what's funny? You guys didn't even catch that I referenced Heartbreak Kid again. Why do you? I haven't seen it.

You think we're going to remember a Heartbreak Kid that well? I remember like three scenes from it. This whole episode is Heartbreak Kid and sepsis over here. I brought it up once. Oh, man. What else we got on the docket? I have a question. With the craze of, you know, like all these medical shows.

Like which one would you say is the most accurate? The pit all day. The pit is so good, 10 out of 10. I heard it's just limited notes. I have one note. I wish they did chest compression is a little better. How are you supposed to do a proper chest compression? Push hard and fast, the center of the chest two inches deep, about 100 beats per minute.

This guy knows. Stay in alive. He knows two inches deep. Well, that means he does great CPR. You're a nation of lifesavers. At first, that was a frame. I was petrified. That's the office.

I've reacted to that one too. That's such a good, such a good clip. Is it true that like with chest compressions, there could be like injuries with that? Yeah, but the person's dead. If you don't do it. No, no, no, they're dead. Oh, that's when they get it.

You're doing chest compressions because the heart has stopped. So they're dead. Right. And you're squeezing the heart by pushing the chest two inches deep, which you were very accustomed to doing. Get them. And this is crazy. You said it.

He said it. You tapped him up. Yeah, he did. Not because of the truth. Because of the joke. The DAP is the ultimate, like, sign of, yes, it's two. You co-signed him right now. I forgot where I was going with this.

But the heart has already stopped. Oh, yeah, the heart is stopped. So you're squeezing the heart to circulate the blood that still has some residual oxygen in it. And you're trying to buy time for EMT surrogens. Aren't there stories, though, of people doing chest compressions and, like, cracking rib? Yeah, yeah. Again, if you're doing that in order to keep that person's brain alive, that's worth it. You trade a rib for a brain.

You said brain's the most important. Damn right. Yeah, I would make that trade. All right, Merrill Manson. Relax. He trained two. He trade two. My dad was a fireman, and I think he was like EMS for a bit.

But there was one time he was on a tennis court, and a guy, like, had a heart attack or something. And he was doing, like, either chest compressions or giving. While the person is alive? Like talking? No, no. know they like went down and they were like i i i forget the story but he had to give him CPR and he's like and i was giving this guy's CPR and then he just threw up in his mouth

disgusting no that's a rough day at the that's rough that's a bad one i don't know what has to happen for that well it just you set it up saying he had a heart attack heart attack does not require CPR yeah so i might that could have just like that's a character cardiac arrest we got a lot of daddy issues on this side of the the set i don't know how i don't know how i don't I stuck this toe, I didn't give them CPR. Well, I've seen videos on social media. Someone's like a little bit out of it and they're giving them CPR. I'm like, no, no, no, no.

If they're out of it, that means their heart is still beating because they're moving. Right. So you don't want to squeeze their chest when they're heart beating. What, um, I also like, I don't know if this is true, but I like saw something online that now with like CPR, like the breathing into the mouth is not a thing. Yeah, so people used to not do CPR for people because they were worried, oh, I have to do mouth to mouth to mouth. So we said, forget mouth to mouth.

The most important thing is pushing hard and fast in center of the chest after you call for help. And that means either you're calling for help or you're saying you pink neon pink scrubs. You call 911 and you have to say yes and then I start the chest compression. Right. We do the rescue breaths in situations when a person has been down for a long period of time. So if someone drowned, for example, and you find them, odds are they don't have residual oxygen in their blood. So you need to give them rescue breaths and then start pushing hard and fast. But if someone just collapsed, they still have oxygen in their blood vessels so you can start pushing right there.

One more time. Do that one more time. And this isn't even good form. Sorry, this is good form. You got to get on top. All right. All right. This isn't a tricep extension.

All right. So lock them out. Lock them out because you want to use your body weight over them. So lock them out like this. That's hyper. So like this. Do you do that again? That's a pretty, that's a hyper extended.

Yeah. What's going on? I have many skills you don't know. put your thumb to your no my wife can but I get pretty close I'll be careful all right good I get pretty close we're just checking well it could predispose you to having a condition and with him you know I got it I don't know I don't know I don't I don't know it's gonna be a long drive home for me doctor Mike said I have a condition me he referenced my steps this bunch of

what else we got why how many times have Have you had sepsis? Just to clear that. I've never been septic. Let me make that abundantly clear. I have been treated for I'm getting pretty close. Got it. Okay.

We'll talk off there. You ever been septic? What are the requirements? Basically. There's search criteria plus an infection source. Mm-hmm. Oh, so that's, yeah. You many times, then.

Who the fuck are you? We can pop up the source criteria. Yeah. Speaking of all Frankie's trips to the sepsis, hospital here. Frankie, you're mentioning that hospitals

have the same smell you're saying? Yes. All hospitals I've been to smell exactly the same and all casinos I've been to smell exactly the same. Are you sure it's just

you're not smelling yourself because it seems like everywhere you go, it smells the same. Let me finish the question. That's a great. That's probably it. I need to ask the question. You're like every time I go here

it smells this area. Well, no, my question was going to be seriously. Do hospitals like my casinos put like stuff through the vents in order to like, So it's like oxygen. Oh, how like the fancy hotels have their own unique sense.

Yes. Do hospitals have like a specific air filtration system that like makes it so it smells a certain way? We do have hepa filters because for infection control purposes. We keep it low humidity specifically because it decreases infection. We don't pump scent though. That's not a thing. Would you say like essentially smelling super clean air? Yeah, clean.

Yeah. Or I guess it's like a little like a rubber. There's a little ruby. Yeah, it smells a lot of equipment. It smells like the gloves. Yeah. What's with the paper? Why the paper?

Paper is horrible. On the, on the, on the sheet. Disposable. But like, can we? It's just because. Do you want to sit in someone else's butt goop? No, no, no. Goop.

What goes out of your doctor's office? You probably said. I'm not saying. I have no goop. Whatever. Let's make that a bundling clear. I agree. Excretions.

But like I'm saying, let's upgrade this paper. To what? To a. for more. UV light. What about it? Are you just saying words now? Yes.

Whole milk. A whole milk bath that you can sit in that's been homogenized. The, never mind, I know the answer to that question. I was going to say there's like a little box. So basically what I'm smelling is, what I'm smelling is just a combination of like cleaner air.

Yeah. Probably you're smelling a lot of disinfectants as well. We're cleaning things a lot. Yeah. Oh, that's definitely what it is. Do they have any hospitals or doctors offices come up with, like, disinfecting, like, grenades? So, like, they can just close the door to an off, like, a room and they throw something in, and then it goes off and, like, Frank, yes.

Just, I mean, this might be a good business idea, all right? If you're looking to invest. Clean grenades. But, like, made your apartment. He definitely before this saw a TikTok video where someone did that transition where they throw the grenade in the room. Got clean. He goes, I want that grenade. Well, like, if I were to take two lice salt cans and just stab them with knives and then throw them into a room.

You'd go to jail. I'm not saying, like, where there are patients. I'm saying, like, you know, like that room over there and I close it off. Would it do a good job cleaning that room? I can't answer that question. I have never ran that experiment. So I have a question. So you know how restaurants have people show up from the health department and they, like, check to make sure everyone's doing the thing?

Does that happen in hospital? Absolutely. How often? Very often and they do surprise visits. It's called Jacob. I say good. What's it? It stands for something.

It's an acronym. So they show up and they like make sure that everything's like. Insane verification of processes. Like where do you keep your sharps? How do you dispose of them? How often are they coming? Are you getting your expiration dates generally restocked? Like everything is checked.

Oh, you have a water bottle nursing station that's unopened? Why? Yeah. So they're really strict. freak out. And who sets those standards? This hospital accreditation system. And they... And it's based on if the hospital takes money

from the federal government, because then they have to follow the federal government's rules for a hospital mandates. Do have... Is it like typical for a hospital to like get shut down? Typical, no, but they definitely have to do make goods and then they come back and check and make sure that they... So they'll give them like, this needs to be rectified

in a week and then we'll be back. I've like worked in a pizzeria before. and when the health department shows up. Pizzeria, hospital. Wait, wait. So, but that day, if they get a heads up, like, a half an hour, like they're going to be in a half an hour, then it's like, all of a sudden we've got to start wearing,

like, gloves and hair nets or whatever, which you typically don't do. They surprise us. Okay. It's like random drug testing for athletes. All right. They just knock on your door. They just knock on your door.

I mean, and then everyone freaks out. Jay goes here, get the food out of here. Yeah. Well, that used to happen to when I worked at Target. Like they like food like specifics food inspectors would come because a lot of the targets had like a pizza hod or a Starbucks in it and like they would just walk in the door and be like we're going to check. Yeah. And I'm sure they send also surprise inspectors to some places, right? I don't know for hospitals.

Oh, just like. Just like as a regular consumer. Oh, yeah. That would be better. I'd be so good. Who gets in trouble for that? I don't know. They should be.

Not you though. Not me. That's right. No. I can't get in trouble for them. Damn right. But they do make coatings for equipment in the hospital. that are anti-bacterial coatings.

What does that mean? Like the keyboards and the mice are... So you can't get like a gaming mouse and bring it into the... I mean, you can do whatever you want. But you're gonna get in trouble. Probably. But it's cool that they have those coatings. There's some coatings that like bacteria don't like living on.

That they call them bacteriostatic, that the bacteria can't multiply on them. What is the reason why we don't use that more? Expensive. It doesn't work with some materials, etc. I feel smarter already. I feel like I I feel like I learn something and then it's completely negated

by the next summer I can't remember anything I just know that Frank's got like diarrhea or something stop! All right I'm back for a little bit more ads the next one being Seekek

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What's something most people do every day that will have a negative effect on them in the future that maybe they don't know? Can I guess? Sure. He's here for a reason. No, no, this is great. It's like I get to fact check live. Creamer in their coffee. I hear that a lot of people do it,

thinking that there's nothing to it, but it carries a lot. You think that's the worst habit we have? I think it's a bad one. I didn't say worse. That's what the question is. No, the question was,

what's a bad thing? It could be anything, though. I'm not going to reread the question. Yeah, but I'm going to agree with him. Go ahead. It's probably something to do with sleep. The fact that we don't respect sleep.

That eight hours is like... Seven to nine years a good number tame for. As an adult. Children's different. older people. Older people don't need as much. Really? After 65.

Is that why they're always out? Because they're sleeping for like an hour and a half in the middle of the day. That's why. Old bastards can't stay awake. I just went to, I just took a flight home at 6 a.m. so I could beat the storm that we just had. And I was like,

everyone in here is old. Like, they're up at this time. It was like a very early flight. I would never, like there was no one really there that was like around my age. Like everyone is like 65. I mean,

when you don't sleep well, your body has to counteract this fatigue that you're feeling. So you go into fight or flight mode. And when you're in this fight or flight mode, you're not healing well. You're not digesting well. You're not repairing well. And as a result, your blood pressure is higher. Your hormone shifts are generally unhealthy for that day.

Your food choices are not healthy. You're putting on weight. So it's like impacting your mental health, your physical health all around. So sleep, we need to make love to our sleep. And how do you, if someone has trouble sleeping, how would you suggest that they sleep better? It takes a visit with someone like me who will try and figure out what's the issue

because some people have trouble falling asleep, which is one issue. Then you could have people who can't stay asleep. They'll wake up at 2 a.m. I can't go back to sleep. Those are two different issues and have different treatments for both. In general, what I'm seeing people struggle with the most

is their sleep hygiene, their ability to do good things to help them fall asleep well. So exposing themselves to early morning, light, making sure their bedroom is really dark, cool. There's things like not looking at your phone right before bed, exposing yourself to blue light can hurt your ability to fall asleep. So there's all of these things that need to be taken into account that most people

brush off and just give me a pill. And the pill is not a solution. Is the magnesium things? Like a overstated. Oh, yeah. So it's not really like a huge. Yeah, no. I wish it was.

How easy would that make my life? Here's your thing. And melatonin is tricky. because melatonin is good, where I use it the most probably is for jet lag resetting someone's circadian cycle. So let's say you were in one-time zone and now you're coming back to this one and you want to reset. Taking melatonin an hour before bedtime could be totally reasonable to reset. But people are taking it every single day. Yeah.

So they're becoming reliant on it, which is not good. And second, they're also taking huge doses. There's people taking like 10 milligrams, 20 milligrams where you're really supposed to use like one, two, maybe three. people are going way too far on it. I've done it five. I think one time. Again, one time is... Yeah, I don't even enough.

You know what I'm saying? It's not. Fourth of July, you want to rip a bunch of fucking melatonin to be my guest. Not medical advice that I shared. Hold on. This is what he does. Hold on. That's a great idea.

A line of hot dogs that have trace amounts of melatonin in them so you can have a pre-bed dog. Why someone looking at me? You want to eat it? a hot dog and I was hoping you had like a silence button I do here and we'll call it sleepy dogs oh that was the kicker oh wow that was a good idea I mean in theory you can just put melatonin in anything I don't think that's true I don't I think it's regulated in theory like that's you that like saves you um also eating a hot dog for a bed wild I don't do that let's

make that a bun and you're not supposed to eat how many hours before bed? That's not a rule. Ideally, if you're struggling with reflux, maybe don't need two hours before bedtime. So the blue light one is an actual question. Because like, we like recently saw something that there's like this new thing where it's called like.

Blue light glasses. No, no, not just blue light glasses, but like it's like sleep revenge or something. And it's like people are like trying to like stay up later because during the day they don't get enough time. Like I have young kids. So like me and my wife, we try to stay up as not as late as we can,

but a little later because that's the only alone time that we get during the day. So I'll stay up a little later, which she'll go to sleep and I'll like, you know, scroll like the news or something on my phone. I do. I mean, when I say the news, it's- You're looking at comic books and Spider-Rand video. It's news on the new Disney Plus Power Ranger show. When he said me and my wife have some time together, I was like, oh, that's so romantic. I mean, we do.

And he's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, we get the hell away from each other. No, no, no, no, no, we'll like, watch some. something together. We'll talk, whatever. But I'm saying, like, she'll go to sleep before me, and then I'll scroll the news. Yeah, yes, the news. The news. How long before bed do you think is, like, blue light a bad thing?

I would get rid of it an hour before. An hour. And that's, like, conservative, because you want to, A, limit the blue light exposure, because that's play some role, because you can shift some settings in your phone to decrease blue light anyway. But the more important thing is when you're looking at the news, because you're clearly a consumer. Power Rangers.

You're looking at your friends what they're up to what your ex-partners are up to on social media That is not contributing to a good night's sleep That's making you more anxious like people that like I really like and It really is like I stay off social media because I don't I don't like I try to stay away from social media as much as I can How do you get your news when you when you scroll through the news? It's not really news It's like entertainment stuff where what website or what it's it depends so like I open Google Chrome and at the bottom it'll have like a series of of suggested things like here are the top Pokemon cards of this new release

like here's like the news on you know the hard of the hard to go to war you're talking about Pokemon card release never mind stay on the phone room it sounds like you have the perfect sleep routine they're gonna get rid of Bulbosaurus you Bolbosur don't ever disrespect

the number one Pokemon do people scroll on Google Chrome is that a thing? I do look I'll show you what I do Look. I'll show you exactly what I do. Don't make it worse. Look, I open Google.

Tell me the first news story. Yeah. Read it out loud. Discover. MLB the show. The video game. All right. Jean George,

I can't say that. Tin building his clothes. Ten best watches but out of date window. Oh, that's a good. Let's hear that. You want to hear that one? I mean, of course.

Netflix sub is number one. What? I mean, Rolex sub is number one. Netflix. I was like Netflix. He just leaked the next collab. Yeah.

Protect Kalatrava, 96. Good choice. But, you know, that's what I'm, that is really what I'm scrolling because I try to stay off social media as much as I can because. Well, that's impressive. I say I try. Yeah. You know, but definitely before bed I do it because I don't want to freak myself out. Like, I tend to be an overthinker with certain things.

So, like, if I do see like, hey, we're close to war, then I'm not going to be able to sleep. And it's going to freeze me. But when you see watches without a date window, you go, I get it. It calms me down. I'm going to go to sleep and think about watches. You know what I do? And tell me if you do this. I do it.

I add things to my cart and I just leave it there and I go away. It's like I, I'm just not going to buy it. You keep stuff in the cart. I window shop online. So you keep it in the cart as a way of giving yourself some time to see if you really need it the following day? No, I'm not going to buy it ever. But you keep it in the car. So you're tricking the website.

Yeah. What's that accomplishing? Nothing. It's just something I do. Maybe they'll give you a discount. They do that. Oh. I'm breaking the system here.

I thought we were talking about watches. I was like, I don't even know. No, no, no, no. They're not getting. You're not putting anything to a car. That's not happening. Rolex is really hoping to protect us me. Yeah, here's 30% off for St. Patrick's Day on all green dial.

That's not happening. That would be sick. That would be super cool. I have a question. What do you think is the? The answer, by the way, to your question was commitment issues, but go ahead. What was the question? That's why you're doing the cart.

Oh, okay. I don't want to make a diagnosis. I mean, this is like a therapy session for us. This feels very good for me. This is one thing, but I will also say you didn't answer how useless male nipples are. And if they will lactate once you suck on them enough. They can lactate in certain medical conditions, hormonal imbalances, some medications. But is it milk?

It's milk. Okay. Raw milk, baby. But is it milk? And what's the use of them? It's just like the normal human blueprint. Inside the embryo, we're all the same. And on the outside, too, we're all kind of similar.

There's a lot of differences. I'm not going to touch that. What do you think is like the, like, obviously you have a lot of knowledge about how to stay healthy and stay on top of those types of things. But what do you think is, like, your most unhealthy habit? My cholesterol is really high. I'm actually waiting for my results right now to see where I'm at. I'm nervous about it. Why is it high?

Great question. You're asking you. It's because I'm eating hot dogs. You're asking me personal questions. I told you transparency. I don't eat a lot of hot dogs. My food choices have not been great. What's your guilty pleasure for?

Besides hot dogs. Something that's high and saturated fat. Like I love cookies and cream milkshakes, but I haven't been having them. But I'll have, you know what it is? When I go to a restaurant, I get the wagging. And that's not good. I mean, you got it. That's me.

That's not good. I mean, I just, I'm doing it too often. That's me, too. You know how some celebrities or people that get some notoriety on social media, they make a buck and they go, oh, my God, and they develop a drug problem? Sure. Yeah. That's me, but with Wagyu. Hell yeah.

With, like, anything that has MP on the menu, he's like, that's it. Two, two. Crab legs. I'll take three orders of them. Are crab legs? I said 20 hot dogs. No, dude. I feel you on that.

I'm pretty solid. I'll tell you this, though. I did have the most expensive burger I've ever had in my life this weekend. Where? Kith Ivy. Oh. They make food over there now? Yeah.

Oh, it's like the club. It's a member's club. I'm not a member. I don't even know what that is. It's like a kid. I know Kiff. They open like a membership club. It's like a paddle or?

Yeah. It's like a paddle club. You know paddle? Is it paddle or Padel? Padell, I guess. Yeah. Like paddle ball? Yes.

It's like pickleball, tennis, and squash had a baby. Yeah. Okay. You've lost me. Somehow following more on the medical talk. How much was the burger? $64. That's the most expensive burger you've ever had?

Where do you have a more expensive burger? Okay, without gold flakes on it. I was just an absurd. There was nothing weird on it. I've never had more expensive. I imagine it was going to be like $200. I mean, where does the $200 burger exist? I'm sure you can find it somewhere.

I just had a burger. What's that like four Charles burger? That's not expensive like that. Yeah, the burger at $4, Charles is probably like $40. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I just had Red Hook Tavern for the first time.

Like the burger there. Apparently it's actually really good. Damn. How much was it? It's a good question. I think it was like 30 bucks. That's why. How was the $64 burger?

It was pretty good. There were some kebabs on the side that were great. Wasn't Wagu though, right? It was. It was. That's the sick part. It wasn't that A5. I have a problem.

It wasn't an A5. It wasn't 85. No. Have you been to Japan? No. Alright, I would love to go. If you guys go, can you take me? Can't bring you to Japan?

Yeah, you can. No, you're like, I'm huge in Japan. Six-three. I mean, yeah, you are. You're big, physically speaking in Japan. Also, you're super pubes too. We'll cut that out. What are we even talking about at this point?

I'll join, obviously. I love sushi, so I love to go to Japan. What's your go-to sushi, like? I was going to. a place called sushi saki for the longest time on the Upper East Side. I mean order, like, are you going to like... Omikaze. I trust the chef. Have you been to Nas?

Nas? Yeah, sushi, Nas? Where's that? It's, uh... Why does it feel like he made that up? No, no, no. He knows his restaurants. It's a very, like, nice restaurant. The chef is like, uh, he's like a famous sushi chef or something.

I don't know. I went once. It was really good, but it was very intimidating. Really? Because it's like eight people, and then he's there, he's making it, and I was like scared it off. And he's judging you to make sure you're eating it correctly. Dude, you scared the fuck out of me because at one point he has like fresh scallops, and he's like talk. And it's like very quiet.

Right. And he's just making it. It's like, you know, you're watching the guy at work. Art is an experience. It's amazing. And then he just takes the fucking scallop. And he's just like, like right in front of me on the table. And it was like, oh.

And then it moves because it's alive. Yeah. And I ate it. Wow. I feel like these days you can just say a syllable. and it could be a sushi place in the city. Kind of, yeah, that's pretty much what it was. Because there's a lot of sushi.

Did you watch Jero Dreams of Sushi? No, I heard it's good, though. Oh, it's really good. We went to a Japanese barbecue place in Texas once. Yeah. That seems like where they would have a good one. The food was solid. Walk in?

All white people were like. Which was an interesting thing to see. This doesn't feel right because every person in there was white, and they were like speaking speaking they were trying to do like traditional like when someone walks in how they like shout something in japanese it's like when they have the what are those they cook for you but they do a show habachi habachi yeah don't don't downplay habachi like you don't no but it's been co-opted yeah oh yeah now it's like you know kids named brett that do it yeah exactly you know she does not suck by the way you know shabachi is incredible no habachi's great

I love the little volcano isn't cool yeah I one time went and got real drunk And they let me go and do the volcano. And I put my hand on the thing and went like that. Burnt off my. Wow. What would make you do that? You shouldn't have done that. Did you not hear the very drunk that I, that was the preamble to that story?

It was the first time he was sepsic. Sepsic? Can we stop talking about my borderline sepsis? Do you dip sushi in soy sauce the correct way? You're supposed to dip the fish side, right? I don't do it at all. Oh, you don't? Oh, because you go.

or the fancy place where they brush it with a brush. That's right. Yeah. Well, not, not. But even when I get sushi at home, I'll just like, eat it. I don't know. When you get sushi at home, you make it yourself? No, no, no, like when I order it.

He doesn't use the soy sauce. I think it's what he does. Yeah, yeah. I don't dip it. I just like eat it because I feel like the soy sauce is such a powerful. Yeah, it's so powerful that I'm like, I don't want to ruin the. No, it's not a little. And sometimes there's like a little sauce there that isn't.

A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. Spicy mayo. Yeah, yeah. Where's that from? That's from somewhere. A little where?

What? I think he's talking about your tongue. Oh, my tongue? My tongue is for my mouth. Not for the sword. Just like a little like, uh-uh. Like that? Yeah.

I mean, they have like a, you know, something. I'll be like our, or like a little wasabi or like a ginger. Man. Let's get back to the medical talk. So male nipples. Male nipples. They're not useless. I mean, they have sensation for people enjoy them sexually sometimes.

How would you know? You outright. He does, right? Thank you. Wait, I said that? He comes in here and he's just like, oh, I'm going to take a picture. Oh. That's not what I, but it's not a sexual thing.

He loves, loves to play with his nipples. No, that's crazy. I mean, I'm not against it. I'm not a prude, dude. You want to pull on my nipples, whatever. It is what it is. I'm not, you know. Now I know why you guys have such a big space.

Hidden rooms. Yeah, you know. That's the nipple set over there. My office is up there. There's a lock on the door. Uh, aunt. Do one more question? One more.

None of them are. All right. So after that, okay, here we go. Oh. Can you actually, is this yours? Can you actually get sick from holding in a fart? I didn't write that. Oh, bad.

I did not write that. That was not me. Have you gotten sick from holding a? Stop looking at me. It wasn't me. I hate, hold on. You're just closer. That's fair.

I, I, uh, notably hate farts. I hate burps. I hate poop. Oh, I can't burp. I have that thing. It's called like R.C. Something. I don't know.

R.C. Cola. I can't. You have enough of that, you'll burp. I can't burp. Like, very, like, very, it's the opposite of it often. Rarely. Very rarely, it'll just kind of, like, escape and it'll, like, kind of scare me. But I can't burp.

And it's like. Yeah, it just kind of, like, it feels like I'm going to throw up out of nowhere. And I'm like, oh. Interesting. So you have, like, a sensitive esophagus? Or something. There was something that I read online that people, because I saw this

TikTok where someone was talking about and I was like oh this is the thing that I have and then you can correct it with like Botox in a certain thing so I think just like a muscle it's like a muscular thing I don't know I'm just so muscular that's what it is

that's what you're so fucking ripped he has a ripped throat look at my neck look at like 16 and a half here washboard abs on his Adam's apple it's a thick neck it is a thick neck he doesn't have the ability

to relax his throat is what they're saying yeah you hey hey not me When you ask me what's one thing that would phase out of the human body based on survival of the fittest? Probably not. I think an overtight throat. Yeah. You got to be able to burr. It's going to get more loose as the years go on. You got to loosen your throat up. Yeah. What was the question that you asked by the way? Oh, you have farts. If you get sick. Painful farts. Oh, painful. I didn't write that. It's not going to be comfortable. You might be bloated. First of all, farting is normal. Yeah. Let's put that out there.

Of course. 10 to 20 times a day. Totally great to fart. More even. That's normal. What about those people that are like jarring there. Farts. We talked to someone once. Jard. Oh, yeah. There was one of the jarred. She was like having like she was having like a pot of cabbage soup a day and then like selling jarred farts. Interesting. I'm not sure about that. You know you could absorb your fart and then breathe it out. Excuse me. Hold on what? I was never. Wait, so like you can like suck in through your butt and then the how does that happen? Your intestines are permeable to certain gases.

and those gases can be absorbed and then released by your lungs. So you're farting in your own belly? In your mouth, dude. Belly is not connected to the lung. You know how they say shin bone connection? Yeah, the belly and the lung are separate. Your belly is 34 years old. What about your tummy?

Your tummy is filled with a fart? Wow, that is disgusting. Well, the entire GI track is full of air. That's normal because when you swallow, swallow some air always. But what's interesting is, do you think what's inside your GI tract is outside or inside your body? Well, hold on.

See, now you're asking questions that he can't follow. What's inside my body? Yeah, is it inside? Is it technically, like the food you eat is it inside your body? Yeah. Where else would it be? Well, technically, like, it's like a straight pipe. Well, not straight pipe.

Right. So, like, we're kind of like a straw. Yeah. So if, so hear me out. So then if you were to take someone and hold them like ass over water and like suck on their mouth long enough, will you get water through their mouth like a straw? There's too many sphincters preventing. I don't know what you're talking about. No, my God, the email that I'm going to get is just going to be pages and pages.

You heard that one? Yeah, put that one down. It's going to make you laugh, dad? Um, would, would that go down as one of the worst questions you've ever heard? I mean, there's, I think that we've hit like the top 10, all 10. All 10 have been. It's definitely. It's definitely up there.

That was rough. Wait, what do you? But it probably wouldn't smell. But what do you? You didn't answer my question. Sorry. Your question is. I know, I did answer your question.

So there's too many sphincters that prevent that from happening. The, how many sphincters is a normal person have? A lot. You have tons of sphinx. I thought there was only one sphincter. Where? The sphincters. The spinkter.

There's a pyloric sphincter. I mean, there's other sphincter. See, I didn't know this. Thank you. See? What a dumb question. We learned from it. Yeah.

This is a, yeah. What you're saying is like, it's outside. What do you mean about that? Well, because like, again, it's like there is a hole going through your body. Yeah. That connect to exits. So it's like the space around is the body. Is what's inside the body like inside the blood vessels, inside the fascia?

What if there's a hole going through all of it? Ah. Like a straw It's like insane for me to think about it Yeah Think about it simply From like a worm perspective A worm eats and then it just has like

A thing that goes through with That's easier to picture than our complicated system That's so honestly That never even occurred to me That's like there's Frank Shut Because you ask one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in my entire life

This is insane Now I know how he got sepsis. For this. If you help someone outside out. What are you talking about? I'm going to get an email from my hospital administrator that's like, Dr. Mike, you are posed this question about sucking water through the human judge.

Oh, that's actually a good question. Is any of your content made any people that you've worked with or your superiors, like have to tell you like, listen. No. They're actually super supportive. That's nice. What's going to put that in?

I mean, after this, who knows? What they say. Oh, my God, dude. Oh, God. This is really not good. Can you imagine you breathe farts? Yeah, no, that's just hard. But farts smell bad because of the sulfur components,

and that's not one that you regularly will breathe out. Is there methane in there? Yeah, yeah, fermented. So you could die from it with enough of it. Of what? Farting. Like in a small room, a lot of methane? No.

Damn it. Is it true? And I don't know if you would have the answer to this, but like the ozone is potentially ruined because of all the methane from couts. Not an environmental doctor, different doctors. My God, that was awesome. I'm not an Oracle. Dude, you are to us. Let's be honest.

These guys like Neo. This is the most important episode we've ever had because we are asking anything and everything. Like, what happens after death? We're going to ask it. You're going to help us get there. Oh, my God, dude. Well, this is a good time. We appreciate you so much.

Yeah, thank you for coming, man. It's nice to see that there's other creators in New York. I feel like there's few of us. I know. Come hang out. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, come hang. You ball.

Do you ball? Yeah, I ball. Where do you ball? Well, I ball. I ball. I can ball. I just going to say the last. There has to be a blue ball question coming here.

There was a blue ball question. There was a blue ball question. There was. What is it? No, you know what it is. Don't ask me. I didn't write it. Someone here wrote it.

He wrote it. I didn't write it. You did. No, I did not. How would you define it? Blue balls. It's a hurting of my balls. Do you concur?

Why are you asking? Well, I am closer to being a doctor than he is. We've already established that. So, doctor, what is a blue ball? Blue balls are a buildup of sperm and semen in the testicular region that as it is traveling through, it kind of gets stopped at the door by the bouncer. And it's just like, we are at capacity. Or we're not letting anyone in tonight.

Out. Private event. Not letting anyone out. Yeah. Yeah. But they're standing at, like, the base of the shaft. And they're just like, stay here. And then?

And then it just stays there. And it's just like, it's like when, you know, when people like, like an overcrowded room, you know. It's uncomfortable. Too much in there. And it's like, well, the walls are going to burst at a certain point. Nailed it. Did I?

No. No. I mean, it was a good swing. Good swing. Right. But it wasn't exactly in the right direction. I mean, I'm not looking for exacts, but at least give me like I am on the right path.

Well, semen is not involved in the process. Gotcha. So blue balls is epididimal congestion or hypertension. So basically you get a lot of blood flow to your genital area. That increases pressure. But then when you don't orgasm, that pressure just build and stays. But it's a blood flow issue. It's a vascular issue.

It's like a penis heart attack. No. That sounded, for some reason, that sounded so smart. Absolutely not. Absolutely not at all, actually. A penis heart attack is more like when you have, you know, one of those erections that lasts more than eight hours? They always say on the commercials.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because literally that blood sits there, and because it's losing oxygen, it's acidify, it's damaging the endothelial lining there. So, yeah, that's like a penis heart. Oh, so if that, oh, wow. That's why they got to drain it. I never, I have to drain it? Yeah, they both would a needle and everything. Oh, my gosh.

So don't do it. Well, I mean. I wouldn't even know how. Well, they say like with those like. Gas station pills. Yeah, like horny goat weed. That'll get you going. Yeah.

Horny goat weed? That's what it's called. I mean, you grew up in New York. You don't remember going to the bodega and seeing any horny goat weed behind right next to the fart bags. Tell me what you did in this bodega. No. Is that how you got septum? Right next to the fart.

Lemonheads. I got lemon heads. Lemon heads. Lemon heads. I was getting lemon heads. You were buying horny goat weeds? You remember rain blow, the gumballs that had like the food dye in them so your mouth would turn different colors? What the hell are you talking about?

You had an interesting childhood, sir. Don't. Two box for me. Don't, yeah. No, like you don't. Seriously. You never went into. a bodega and saw, like, horny goat weed.

We went to different bodega, sir. They're like, it's like a pill. And it literally has a goat on it or like people making out. And it's called horny goat weed. Look it up. What would happen when you would take it? I didn't take it. I didn't take it.

But you know so much about it. It's at the counter. It's like, it's used as like, you know, the like, fuck, what's it called? Viagra. Viagra. It was like the like bodega Viagra, basically. Well, interesting. Seeing Viagra and all those medications,

Sedendafil, they, in the commercials, you'll hear them say, if you have an erection lasts more than four hours. It almost never happens as a result of just those medications. So they don't really cause that. What are those medications do? It's just like a, that's like blood flow? It's a circulation thing. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Hmm. But like how does it target the ball? Like dick. It doesn't. That's why some people get bloodshot when they, their eyes get bloodshot. When they take it, their nose sometimes runs. because it opens all the blood vessels.

Oh, wow. It's a vaso relaxer. And this is a serious. I don't think I've known someone that's ever taken them. And I guess they wouldn't publicize that to me. I don't know. It's because you're not a doctor. Yeah.

I know plenty of people who take it. Well, have you prescribed it? Of course. Why do you say it like that? Well, because you make it sound like I'm a fake doctor. No, no, no, no, no, no. You ever prescribe antibiotics? No, no, no, no.

Don't do that. I don't want this to come off. You ever hear of a box of a cell? I just didn't know if it was something you've ever done before. After horny goat wheat, he totally disbelieved that I'm a physician. You don't know horny goat weed? Where'd you get your license? No, that's more about the growing up in New York part of it that I'm surprised.

Airheads, lemon heads. That's what I was doing. Are you an airhead guy? What color airhead? That's a good question. I think the white one. Oh, my God, dude. You used to like to live on the edge.

Yeah. You just like to. Because you just never know. I don't believe that. I think they figured out that it was. was a flavor. Oh, it is?

Yeah, I think it's like, all of the white ones are like that flavor. Yeah. Oh. But it's like mystery. Oh.

Do you guys have Scholastic book fairs? Hell yeah, dude. They don't have that anymore. I know. What do they do? It hurts.

Yeah. I mean, wait a sec. No, they had a book fair at one of my kids. They did? I don't know.

I said that without actually no. Welcome to the show, baby. Oh, no, I'm being infected. It's in the air. It's in the air.

Welcome to the show. You're going to go home and get septic. No, no, no. It's not as prominent as, like, when we were kids, but, like, they do book, like, book sales to some degree. I know that because, like, we've given the kids, like, money, and they've come back with books and stuff like that. I used to love the book fair. Oh, my God, this is a glass. When you'd get that, when you'd get that paper and you'd just be like, oh, shit, I can buy, like, three pounds of slime.

Dude, I love goosebumps. Yeah. I never read a book from goosebumps, but I just had them. Did you touch the show? Yeah. Did you watch the show? There was a show. What?

What? Oh, oh. Oh, like the little movie. movies. Is that a TV show? It was a show and they were episodic. Are you guys kidding me with this? Wow.

You don't remember? Ryan Gosling was in one. Right? What? Yeah. As a child. As a child actor, yeah. And say cheese and die.

Thank God you're here. Yeah. You're welcome. That's a full grown adult actor. I did not know that. Dude, I don't know where they're available. It might be on Netflix, but like a piece of like nostalgia. I just saw Arl Stein on that golden show, the collectible show.

He was like auctioning off something. Actually, it might have been from the. the show. Dude, apparently, I don't know how true this is. The rumor is that he has sold more copies of goosebumps and Stephen King has sold copies of his novel. Yeah, I heard that too. I think that's, I mean, I think that's actually.

That's crazy, dude, Arles Stein. Legend. Absolute legend. Also, not on the list. Looks like the guy who would write that book. Yeah. Yeah. I can't picture him in my head.

You've never seen a picture. Oh, no, he was on the show, but I just can't. Oh, man. He looks like R.L. Stein. There's no other way to describe it. And Stephen King looks. like Stephen King. You know, you know, you know that one. Are you afraid of the dark? Are you a fan of that as a kid?

No, I was really afraid of the dark. Me too. Yeah. No, I was still kind of the show. Oh, sorry. Wait, you're afraid of the dark now? Yeah. Really? Yeah. You got a nightlife? Now less. Now noise more. He took a therapy, uh, psychology class so he can help therapy.

Let's unpack that. Would you say you're afraid of noise? Noise at night. What is it? Oh, at night. You grew up in New York, brother. He lives in the burbs. I know. Now it's joy. Yeah.

Yeah, if I hear anything, I'm nervous. Yo, I'm telling you, since moving out of the city, you hear something, I get freaked out. I'm like, fuck. Yeah. Because it's supposed to be quiet. Yes. And then the house makes a noise. I don't like that.

That's it. That one's not. I moved into an apartment that was in like an old building once. Oh, the creeks. It was my second night there. And like, I don't know why I do this myself. I got in bed and I was like, look if this place is haunted. That was my first thought.

Then I started hearing banging. And it, like, I'm used to. It was not. But I'm hearing banging and I'm like, what is that? And then I, it was, it ended up being the heat,

but it didn't sound like a, like a radiator or anything. I walked outside and then there's like one pole like on the opposite side of my apartment. That was right. I thought there was someone in my apartment. I ran downstairs like, look up at me then.

Yo, like particularly when like, like the winter is coming because the ground is swelling and shit like that, like the house is like my house shifts. So like you'll just randomly. in the middle of the middle of the eye here, just like, I don't like that.

Oh, that's scary. That's scary. It ain't fun. I think you're very mentally strong if you could turn off the light in your basement and slowly walk up the stairs. I do that.

I haven't done that. I do that. I feel like I always kind of ruined. When I was a kid, that movie 13 ghosts, it's ruined me. You remember that movie? No.

No. What did you watch as a kid? You named two things. Nickelodeon. And you didn't see, Are you afraid of the dark? Rugrats. Doug.

Hey Arthur. Doug. Do do, do. Hey, Arnold. Hey Arthur? Or Arthur is it different There is an Arthur The art barth

Arthur was on PBS Hey Arnold Yeah What Arthur was on PBS Yeah That was the good kid show Now one watched that You got good grades

Yeah exactly Yeah Well look at you You're doing all right You probably watch it You know what they call the person I was stupid questions I was watching

Freaking Dexter's Laboratory Eded and Eddie Oh that's a good one though Powerpuff girls Hell yeah Those are good What do they watch now? I don't even know.

You want to know what's TikTok? Oh, you want to know. No way. I think so. I know. My kids watch blue. He's a big one. Bluey is a big.

Yeah, but that's like, is that like, blues clues? No. Actually, you know, kind of. It's about blue Australian dogs. But like,

no, it's a really endearing, like there's some episodes. Like Clifford, but now he's blue. Yeah. Not really. Like,

it's like the whole world is dogs. Oh, I see. Except for like, that's a good life. Seagles. shit like that and it's from Australia you know they have one like child's program that does I want to know what person I want to know two people's mindsets one who writes a book that says imagine the whole world was dogs and seagulls yeah and second who is the first person to see a cow

utter and go I want to suck on that yeah dude wait what no no I'm I agree I would like to know what milk a cow no what do doc we're gonna get you out of got to get you at the farm you're you're not into wrong milk in Queens where Where are you milking cows? We went to the zoos, my guy. Field trip. Yeah. Like a field trip.

You went to a nice school. We went to public schools, maybe. We didn't go anywhere nice. What did you go to? PS2. PS2. Oh, see, you went to the low schools. I went to PS 104.

By the time they got to the 100s. That doesn't matter. There's 112. Yeah, first of all, when they get to the hundreds, it's the scraps. Two is just like, yo, this is like the good. This is a good one. That's why they took you to the goat parks.

We went to a, but no, in our pre-K, we went to the park. I didn't even get to sheep in front of me. I was like, yo, this is fucked up. Yo, I'm telling you right now, you have a milk a cow? It'll change your life. Yeah. It'll change your life.

It's just like not what you expect. It doesn't feel. What do you expect? I expect it to, like, I don't expect much. I thought it would be like a balloon, like very light. But like, there's some weight to it. They're heavy. And then if you milk a cow in a metal bucket.

Now we're talking. The sound is good. They have some art from that alone. It's crazy. How did you do that? That didn't sound anything like it, but that was an insane sound. That was an insane sound. Did you have a bionic cow?

I'm very good with sounds. A spaceship. Not recreating them, obviously. I'm pretty good with sounds and impressions. Have you milked a cow? I have never milked a cow. No. This is ridiculous.

We could do a field trip. We're leaving it right now to go milk a cow. I don't even know. I think RFK will come. Yeah, he will. That's like the third mention of RFK on this episode. He loves raw milk and jeans. Yeah.

You're talking about udders. He does. You know what? If anyone knows what utters feel like, it's probably RFK. He's getting that raw milk straight from the source, baby. The idea of drinking milk out of their nutters. That's what raw milk is. Yeah.

No, I know. It's just. I don't know. I don't get it. Yeah, I'm really good with like homogenized milk. You know, like I'm good with that. It's pasteurized this thing. Yeah.

Anyway. Well, my favor is when they go, I love raw milk, but I boil it. It's no longer raw. It's good. Louis Pasteur in the flesh. And now it's cooked. Yeah. Like the hot dogs that you used to have.

I put it through a strainer. Like I, you know, it's not raw. Yeah. I boil it. To a cheesecloth. Well, that's why like a lot of the people who are anti-vaccine are like, why don't doctors think about prevention ever? You guys are all about treatments with your pharma. I'm like, vaccines.

Yeah. They prevent the illness. Yeah. No, but not vaccines. Gotcha. Not because it's supporting it. supporting their argument but it is so I don't get it I think you did a great job dealing with probably some of the most I mean they're great people I'm gonna be

nice I'm gonna be nice I'm gonna be nice I'm not gonna do it you you show you showed a lot of patients and I don't know how you did it well the purpose is to get everyone on the same page because vaccines only work what all of us buy in and I'm not selling them to get people to buy in I'm selling them because they work and I'm telling the truth and we want to not have measles again see I want to make America health again

by going back to where we were before the measles out breaks if you can give one parting sentiment to people what would it be trust your doctor not RFK wow

that's a good sentiment that's really good yeah I mean you're not going to get an argument out of he literally says do not trust experts that's his that's these are quotes Yeah, I mean He says certain vaccines have killed more people

And they say, I mean Yeah Would you ever do a sit down interview with our I would love it Yeah I would I would box him Whatever he wants to do Oh shit

I fall up I'm a professional fighter You have to Well you're a professional fighter I fought on showt's hand pay per view Fight Frank right now Fight me right now I can't if I hit you

I can go to jail For a lethal weapon I won't call It's if he dies We'll sign something I'll sign something Yeah yeah I won't call I can sign you can sign

We're not going to call right now I can sign it. You can't sign it. A waiver. Look at a doctor. Who are you to tell me I can't sign it? Where's the lawyer? Yeah, where is a lawyer?

It's a lawyer? I can do it. We'll have a doctor sign off and then. I can't be the one killing him and treating her. Wait, so you're a trained what boxer? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I fought on Jake Falls Undercard.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Did you win? No. But I won my first one against eye dubs. I don't know if you guys know who that is. Oh, I do. He's a YouTuber, right?

Yeah, I beat him out pretty bad. There you go, dude. So you're tall. Great gray head of hair If I may say so myself From what head of hair To another head of hair You know someone accused me of having a to pay

The other day That's nice What fucking you know People just want to see The people like They see people They're doing well for themselves And they're happy

And they're just like I want to fucking ruin that person I just I'd love to see what they're seeing Do the Trump thing Try to rip your hair off right now Does he? Oh I see that I saw the stitches

You know how fucking funny It would be If it just came off Stuck into the wall I would have pissed my pen You guys Now we use generative AI banana, whatever it is. Oh, yeah. Nanobanana, whatever the fuck it is.

Yeah. That would be crazy. Just have Dr. Mike ripping his fucking hair off and putting it on the wall. Say, we can fight. Oh, that was into the damn. That was. We could fight. You can, you can.

No, I fought a, you know who Nate Diaz is? Yeah. I fought his, like, trading partner in boy, Chris Avila. That's what I thought. He has, like, 30 pro fights. God damn. That was a crazy thing you did. Yeah.

Good for you, man. And I lost on the judge of scorecards. He didn't knock me. Who cares? You won in your heart, right? Oh, yeah, I won. That's it. That's all you mean. Because of that, we were able to donate $125,000 to the Harlem Boys and Girls Club, which is like, so I got paid for the fight. That's awesome.

Sweet. So that was cool. Oh, you did it just to donate the money. Yeah, for the funsies. What a guy. Works in a hospital. I don't recommend it. Don't fight.

That's not good. Right. But I did it. Do as I say, not as I do type situation. Here we go. That's a good lie. And the tongue can lick them both. That doesn't add anything.

We could have gone. without the second part. But do you want to just plug like your YouTube channel and everything? Yeah, check it out, Dr. Mike. That's everywhere. Yeah. It's pretty cool that I own kind of Dr. Mike.

Like that's a pretty common name. There's one Dr. Mike. I used to see the billboard on the turnpike all the time. There was a billboard. There was a billboard. Yeah. Every day I would drive. Yeah.

Every day I would drive home. Dr. Mike, the internet's number or YouTube number one doctor. And I was just like, thank you YouTube. What did say? What was it like? That's all it said. It was a picture of him like.

Stethoscope. or not? Yeah, of course. Yeah. You got to get this stuff. You got to do this. Scrubs. And it said, Dr. Mike.

How long ago is this? Very recent. This has to be a long time ago. Within the last like three years, maybe, I would say, three, four years. Yeah. Interesting. That's great. Sam knows.

Yeah. That's amazing. Well, we thank you so much for the show today. Anytime you guys have questions, I'll stop by. I'm not far. We'll see you next week. You might get a call in the middle of an episode. That's okay.

I'm always on call. If Chris the bell can do it, then I'm going to hit you up. Oh, yeah. You're getting a message 100%. It's like, hey, man. Frank's trying to convince me to drink my own piss. Or we're just going to use Dr. Mike, I think, like. Yeah.

We'll have them on standby for you. We'll have a Dr. Mike button. We'll have a Dr. Mike button. I'm telling the doctor now that you said that. But, yeah, go follow Dr. Mike everywhere. It makes awesome content on Instagram everywhere. And that is all. See you guys next time.