The Basement Yard - #549 - Picking Your Nose Is Cool

Episode Date: April 6, 2026

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Starting point is 00:00:00 When West Jet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Welcome back to the basement yard. I'm here with Frank, who just told Eniast.
Starting point is 00:00:34 He's a beautiful boy multiple times in a row. What was that about? What a good looking boy? No, I didn't stop. You did say it. You said it. He does this to us all the time. My beautiful boys when we walk in.
Starting point is 00:00:47 So I decided to place it right back to him. I gave him a beautiful boy. You gave him too. But the second one was like, fucking beautiful. Yeah, you literally did do that. I mean, I'm in admiration. I think he's a good looking guy. I want to make sure that I give him the proper credit,
Starting point is 00:01:04 where credit is due. When you do that, that sucks. I'll tell you that. You know, like that? You in like this? What is that? Yeah. I don't know. That was cute. Do you guys, did you guys do family portraits growing up? Yeah, I did. You did? Like, white people, for real? Yeah, I think so. But I'm white, too. I think I did one when I was like a baby. I remember the baby one of you. You're in like an old-timey sailor's costume or some shit? Yeah, I look like I own a cereal company or something.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Like it was, yeah, me and Keith, for like Easter, my mom would dress us out. like cabbage bash dolls or something yeah beckas parents did that too well i remember when we were buying our house her mom like gave her like a basket full of like these were your baby clothes and it was like it looked like it was made out of yarn from fucking micha's yeah yeah yeah you look like like these people are on the titanic like that's what it kind of looks like well they lived out in oregon so they were as close to like you know like living on the oregon trail hippies as you could possibly be you know how old were you like do you still do family portraits? No. When did you think you stopped did? It stopped it. It was just me and my sister.
Starting point is 00:02:10 I don't think my parents joined in. That's not a family portrait at all. It was before your brothers. It was before my brothers. So I was young. But they wouldn't, they wouldn't be in the photos with you? I think they got in for a couple, but I just distinctly remember just the ones with me and my sisters. I was holding roses. I was in a white button down. Oh shit. You were doing Macy's type of shit? I mean, I did him as an adult. Like, did you? Yeah. You don't remember that like the picture in my house I like Oh yeah but that was just you No you all were in that
Starting point is 00:02:36 We all we all had them and there was another one like We were because we did it for like Christmas one year My sister organized it and she was like let's get playful with it So there was like because you go to these places And they have like props that you could use So one was like a rock so I like went on the rock And like kicked my feet up Did you do family portraits like every year growing up?
Starting point is 00:02:56 No no no no I remember we did them like as babies I don't remember it as babies but I know we did it as baby's You do family portraits right now. Like portraits is a stretch. We're not like going to a studio to do them. But you're like outside there's a photographer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We do a photo shoot.
Starting point is 00:03:12 Yeah, photos shoot. Yeah, like a portrait. I guess, I guess, I guess, I guess. When does that stop, do you think? Selfishly, I hope never. Right. Like I hope we have them every year forever. I'm sure the kids are gonna get to a certain point where it's like,
Starting point is 00:03:24 they don't wanna do this anymore. Yeah. It's weird that this is coming up because you brought this up, right? Because I'm literally, we, We are booked for a family portrait. My sister organized it for my mom's birthday. So we're doing one like next month. And for the first time in like,
Starting point is 00:03:40 I couldn't even tell you. That's going to be fun. That's good, bro. First of all, that's going to be the greatest gift your mom has ever had. She's got to cry. Prepare a weeping.
Starting point is 00:03:49 I mean, she's not going to cry. It's a photo shoot. No, no, after when she gets them, you know. She might.
Starting point is 00:03:54 She probably will. She's hit or miss sometimes. Really? She's like, she's so like, uh, like she'll, cry it stuff that I'm like this, but then other stuff she wants.
Starting point is 00:04:04 She's like, oh my God, this is so nice. What's the like 100% guarantee, you know, like, you know you can make your mom cry with it. If you show her, have her listen to it, see it, whatever. I don't know if I have an answer to that. I don't know. I don't know. Because sometimes like she's, she gets, she gets me.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Every time she cries, I cry. But like, it's so hard to tell when it's going to get her emotional. because she's like really like Irish and strong about certain things. Well, she was raised Irish Catholic, which is like, you better not cry and you better believe that. No, but like even my grandma was like, like my aunt, her daughter had passed away before her. And she was just like a G at the thing. That's crazy. I mean, she definitely cried when we first got there and that was like the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:04:51 But then after that, like during the wake, she was just like chilling. And I'm like, how is she doing this? I mean, that's a different generation. Yeah. She was feeling it. They're numb. Dude, they would go to school. They do cursive.
Starting point is 00:05:01 You can't figure it out. The teacher would beat the shit out of you with a ruler. Well, school back then was also like a schoolhouse near the quarry. You know, like they didn't have, I'm talking to your grandmother's age. Yeah. I don't even know what you're talking about. Well, I'm saying back then it's like they also had a hard time getting to and from school. It'd be like three years old.
Starting point is 00:05:20 It'd be like, all right, time to go to school. Walk five miles. I think that maybe I'm making this up, but maybe she went to St. St. Francis? Your grandmother? Yeah, I think so. Bro, your grandmother was older than fucking sliced bread. There's no way.
Starting point is 00:05:33 No, no. Look up when sliced bread was invented. I think it was in like the 30s. It was after Betty White. So then my grandma was like 20... My grandmother was 26. I remember that. She might have been 29.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I remember that because we had her 75th birthday party. I've told this story and it landed on what year? 2001. Yep. Slice bread was invented in 1928. Yeah, dude. Close. I don't know when her birthday was, to be honest
Starting point is 00:05:59 I mean, my grandmother was definitely alive before sliced bread. That's so weird. That is weird. So, think about it. That means that... What the fuck were they eating? Just loaves? I kind of like a loaf. Dude, cutting your own bread is kind of cool. Cutting, bro, you gotta rip that bitch. No. We got like a bread cutter.
Starting point is 00:06:16 No. And it's like an old timey wheel. It's kind of fucking cool. How does that work? It's like you put like, it's like a deli slicer. Ah. And like you adjust the, like, Like, yeah, girth.
Starting point is 00:06:30 Thickness. Yeah, that's what I was looking for. I mean, tomato, right? I mean, sure. It is. And you just, like, you push it through and you crank it. And then they just, like, it slices off. That's fucking nice, dude.
Starting point is 00:06:43 I like ripping a bread, though. You like, like when Aladdin ripped that bread? Oh, my God. You know what I low-key like? You know when you take the elbow off of an Italian bread? Mm. And then I like to dig it out. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:55 And then I just have, like, a little hat. Oh. What we would do is when we would have like pasta night, we would get the Italian bread, we'd fight, my brothers and I would fight over who would get the ends. Because then you dig it out and you just fucking stoff it full of spaghetti. And then you have like a spaghetti sandwich. Oh, you would shove the elbow full of spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:07:15 Hell yeah, dude. Oh, I don't know if I've ever done that. Dude, some of the elbows are hard, dude. I mean, it's hard elbow. It's tough. You grew up in a big pasta house. I remember your mom making a lot of pasta. Okay.
Starting point is 00:07:29 But I'm saying like you never did pasta sandwiches or anything. Pasta sandwiches. No? I don't think so. I would ask. What's a pasta sandwich? Just that? Or like,
Starting point is 00:07:38 pasta sandwich was, you know, like you had pasta, but you take a slice of white bread or like you take a fucking end of Italian bread and you just put, you put the pasta in it, baby? I know, I never, I never did that. I mean, she would make a fucking meatball palm every now and then. Your mom make the meat bowlish bams. Oh my God. My mom used to make me. meatballs like every other day.
Starting point is 00:08:00 That was, I remember meatballs. I remember pasta. I know you often bring up your mom's broccoli. Oh my God. But dude, there's nothing better than just a slice of white bread. And you just, some fucking wet spaghetti with some red sauce and you hold it like a taco.
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yeah. Hear me out with a cup of whole milk. So good, dude. That is so insane. That is the most like, like I would never eat that in this year. Why? Because that's it
Starting point is 00:08:30 I mean one whole milk is bananas I mean you could have a cup of whole milk It exists you drank like three Three quarters of a gallon for the hot one video That was out of survival I mean I was not gonna live if that didn't happen If we walk into Joe's apartment And he was eating that
Starting point is 00:08:44 We would What are you doing? You know what I have done? I would be very excited You know what I have There's no way I mean I could be at anything And he would fucking scream at me
Starting point is 00:08:53 But do you know what I have done That's absolutely disgusting But like I was desperate When we were younger And we'd be in Connecticut and it would be, we would be like drinking all night or whatever, it would be like 2 a.m. And I would go into Espo's house and I would just take a hot dog bun and I would put ketchup in it, close it and eat that.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Yeah, you were, I remember as kid. Ketchup sandwiches. You were a big bread and ketchup guy. Yeah. Like I remember in elementary school getting school lunch and seeing like you, because remember it would come with like a little like bun for the, like a burger? Whatever. No, like the lunch sometimes just came with a little bun, like a biscuit bun or whatever.
Starting point is 00:09:29 It was a bun. I remember you ripping that and dip it and swiping the plate with your fucking bread. Yeah. And I mean, not bad. Yeah. I don't hate that. It was until you started dipping your pita bread and ketchup, which was crazy. I mean, bread is bread.
Starting point is 00:09:45 Peter is an amazing bread. No, no, no, no. What's the number one bread? Is it non? I am super partial to pita. Non is up there. I feel like I like non more than pita. It's just, isn't it just the same, but fling? I don't really know.
Starting point is 00:10:01 I think it's also cooked different. Can I tell you something? I'll tell you. I'm gonna be brave here. I'm gonna be brave here. Oh boy. The first time that I just like heard of non bread, so I was like, oh, we should get some non bread.
Starting point is 00:10:13 And I was like, oh, okay, cool. I thought it was like a supplement. Like an impossible burger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought it was like, you know, gluten free bread. It was like non bread, bread. Like I didn't have no idea that it was. I love non the times I've had it.
Starting point is 00:10:27 I've started to like it. it even more once I saw how it was cooked when they just fucking bang throw it into the fucking oven it's so like careless too like they got it and they're just like and then it stays somehow it just stays it's incredible it's like have you seen those videos of like street cooking in India yeah it'll be like a vat of hot like oil and the guy will just put something in and he's like I will say those are the most insane videos I've ever seen in my entire life why is the oil black why why and like what
Starting point is 00:10:59 would we have to do to get you, Frank, to eat that food? First of all, me. You. Oh, no, no. You know me. I'll eat it. We won't be able to leave the fucking. You're dying in India.
Starting point is 00:11:12 If you have this oily, like, street food thing. I'm not making it out of there. There's a guy on TikTok that I've seen, which I don't know how offensive this is, to be honest. It's all right. Let a fly. But, I mean, well, but he's like, I'm going to eat the street food. street food every day for however many days to see like when I'm going to get food poisoning. Yeah, I mean, it is.
Starting point is 00:11:36 It's a hundred percent. There's no way I'm holding up there though. I mean, fucking Indian food around here. I can't, listen, I'm not going to sit here and. I don't have a base of bread. I can't. I'm not going to generalize all Indian street food and say like, it'll get you sick because I don't know, but I have seen videos of some that's been like, that does look like that would, that would mess up, gum up the works. So to say.
Starting point is 00:11:56 I mean, it's, you know, sometimes there's, people cooking stuff. I'll tell you this. I do want to get those like the drinks that they do. Oh, where it's like, where they like make it rapidly, but like they're not really making it rapidly.
Starting point is 00:12:08 They're just like shaking their head really quickly. They'll put the ice in the cup and then take the ice out and smash it, put it back in the cup. I'm like, you're going to tell me that doesn't look awesome. I appreciate a show though. I'm big on the show. I am,
Starting point is 00:12:18 first of all, I feel like in that situation, you're probably not paying enough because you're getting a meal and a show. Yeah. You know? I like it where it's like, you know what I like? like watching, you ever see someone like
Starting point is 00:12:29 they make Moscow mules, but they make them so fucking fast, and there's a point in it where they're putting fresh lime juice into it, and they just have like the squeezer, and the guy just like and just fucking go. I'm like, yo. I don't know if I've ever had, I might
Starting point is 00:12:46 have had one, but I don't know if I appreciate a Moscow mule. You've never had a Moscow mule? I can't recall ever having one, and if I have, it's been like a little sip. I definitely never ordered one. Wow, that's crazy. I just don't, you know. You don't like ginger? I love ginger. I just never had one.
Starting point is 00:13:02 I don't know. There's no like rhyme or reason to it. You got to get one. Going back to bread though. Sourdough? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Becca's been making sourdough and I'll tell you right now, put me on a gurney, open my legs, blow away what's there. All right. I'm not going to do that. Someone better, though.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Open my legs and blow away what's there. Like with a gun. Yeah. But I don't remember my mom making. making pasta that much. I'll tell you what we did we did do every so often. We'd be like be like mom, can we have breakfast for dinner? And she would make us like pancakes or waffles. That's the whitest shit I've ever heard of my entire fucking life. It wasn't all the time. It was like a once a quarter. Please, mom. Please. Can we have pancakes for dinner? Y'all, that's the whitest
Starting point is 00:13:51 shit. How is that the whitest shit? The whitest shit I've ever heard of breakfast. You're shoving pasta into the elbow of a bread. If anything, I have a sandwich. That's modern ingenuity. You're eating like Aladdin. Oh, uh-oh. Yep. What's wrong about that? Also, what is Aladdin famously not? White. Have a house. That's what he famously is not. He does have a pretty sick view of Agri- He's homeless. Oh, he has a pretty cool, like, little setup there. It's not his. It's an abandoned building. I mean, what is one man's trash, if not another man's treasure?
Starting point is 00:14:28 Sure. So there you guys. go. Yeah. Speaking of breakfast and pancakes, I have something. Okay. Oh, boy. I have. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:14:40 What would you consider is the best style of pancake? Can we get this out of the way before we start talking? Crapes are like overrated as hell. You can, you can, you can die. You like crepes like that? I love crepes, dude. Crapes are overrated. Like a savory crepe?
Starting point is 00:14:57 But it's not a pancake. Right. I mean, it definitely doesn't belong in here. We're not going to argue semantics. It is kind of technically a pancake. It's just got more liquid than cake. What? More liquid?
Starting point is 00:15:11 Yeah, like, crepes are just thinner. How is that more liquid? They're not wet. Because when you, like the batter I'm referencing, in order to make a crepe, it's a thinner, like, liquid. Oh, I was like, I don't know what you're talking about there. So, best pancake style. Oh.
Starting point is 00:15:28 We have classic, Fluffy, souffle, crispy, grape, thin. I will say the... Is that you spell souffle? I would have not got that. I'm not sure. I believe it is. Well, that, I think, is not great.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Unless it's in Japan, because I've seen those videos of them making those fucking fluffy, like you smack them like a butt. There's a fuck Japan. There's a place... Oh, don't... That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:15:51 You said, fuck Japan. Bye, my bad, my God. Get him, get him, get me. My bad, guys. I meant... Forget about them having them over there. There are places in here that have them. them. In here. In here in the U.S.
Starting point is 00:16:03 within the Continental. There was like a video that went viral that was like New York City's best pancakes and it's just like, it's basically a cheeseburger of a pancake. Hell yeah. Like it's a big bitch. Yeah, I'm not into that though. If I'm getting pancakes, like that's another thing. That's a different day. But if I'm getting pancakes, bro, I'm going crispy. Yes. What? Yes. I like the edges to be like, nah, nah. Ew. What's wrong with you guys? Crispy is the last thing I want my pancake to be described at. Just get a waffle. But it's not the whole pancake.
Starting point is 00:16:31 It's just the edges. The middle is still a pancake. Circumference of crisp. Yeah. It's an outline of crispy. I'm not. I mean, listen, I don't dislike, I wouldn't by any means call them crispy. I don't dislike when they're cooked like that.
Starting point is 00:16:46 But in this situation, give me the classic, baby. Oh, how boring. Boring. I mean, there's a reason that it's the best. It's fucking iconic. I'll also say this. I'll start this out there. Waffles over pancakes.
Starting point is 00:16:59 That could be true. Waffles, French toast, pancakes at the bottom. Oh, actually, I don't know. Of the Belgian variety, or Ego? They could come from any country you want them to come from. We're going to go Belgium, though, obviously. You like Egos over Belgium Waffle? No, I'm not saying that.
Starting point is 00:17:21 I'm just like, I don't know. Because, like, the Belgians do it where, like, you can get it in, like, the middle of the day. I like my breakfast to be appropriately timed. It's breakfast because it's breakfast. You've never had breakfast at night? I'm sure I have I don't love it I remember during college during like finals week You have some pancakes
Starting point is 00:17:39 They would like keep the the dining hall open Through the night for those people like studying super hard And be like we have breakfast at midnight And I'd be like this is fucking stupid Really? I feel like everyone likes breakfast at night It's a nice like change of pace every once in a while I mean but you could change the pace with just different meals Like it doesn't need to be
Starting point is 00:17:58 You never had a drunk bacon egg and cheese Yeah Bacon egg and cheese is his own thing. What about a McGrittle? What is a McGrittle, if not a bacon, egg, and cheese? Yeah. Well, it's on the breakfast menu.
Starting point is 00:18:12 I don't consider, I know it is. Uh-huh. I am allowing bacon egg and cheese to exist outside of the realm of breakfast. All right. So you would say that bacon egg and cheese is not a breakfast. I would say it can be if it wants to be, but I'm allowing it to choose what it is. Would you avoid breakfast foods at that time? A dinner?
Starting point is 00:18:31 2 a.m. 3 a.m. No, because it really depends on like the atmosphere. I'm not having, if I'm having breakfast foods past noon, it's... Noon? What, you never been to a brunch? I have, but my brunches have been from like 10 a.m. to noon. Oh, wow. If I'm at brunch and it's after 12 p.m., the only thing I'm eating is the bottom of this fucking champagne bottle.
Starting point is 00:18:55 First of all, that's both, brother. You never shut up to a brunch at like 1 o'clock, get it going? No, because that's not brunch anymore. That's just lunch. Oh, man, you're making good point. Isn't brunch a combination of those? Yeah. Yeah, but that's why it's like a 10 or 11 a.m. thing.
Starting point is 00:19:13 But before noon would be breakfast, obviously. No, I would say, I would say breakfast is like, you know, I understand people wake up at different times. Breakfast ends at like 11. Yeah, and McDonald's. First of all, you can get breakfast all day, I believe now. Second of all. Not McGrittles, bastards. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Bastids. They know what they're doing here. They're fucking. cock teasing the world. Yeah, that's crazy. Brunch is a 1 p.m. thing. It feels like a 1 p.m. If you're going to drink alcohol. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Alcohol is a any time thing. It's only problematic. It's only problematic when it's in every day every time. I personally would not go to a brunch at 10. Not that I wouldn't, but like I would prefer not to go to a brunch at 10 a.m. I also like don't really eat at 10 a.m. Yeah, you also need to acknowledge in this argument. you have the eating regularities of a very irregular eater.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Huh, you like that. That's a long-witted way to say that. Say that three times fast. Yeah. You have the regularities of an irregular type of person. I'm not going to sit here and argue it. I will say, though, that to me, breakfast, depending, of course, there are people that work the night shift, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Breakfast is until 11 a.m.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Okay. 11 to 12 is brunch brunch and then lunch is after that until dinner time you can't give brunch one hour yeah it's got to be at least to I'm also not I am not bestowing this these these these these guardrails on them
Starting point is 00:20:44 so you only have wait what would it go to any go to any place that offers like bottomless brunch when do they offer it whenever no they don't they offer 10 to 2 10 to 3 yeah bro it's in the afternoon I'm telling you like it definitely goes to the afternoon I think it starts earlier. I think that's really dumb.
Starting point is 00:21:01 I mean, hey. I think that, well, like lunch, when does that start? 10 or 11. I think 11.30 is lunch-ish. See, like 11.30, to eat like a fucking deli sandwich is crazy to me. I mean, there are people that start their workday at 7 a.m. So that's, you know, five and a half or four and a half hours after they start work. That's normal.
Starting point is 00:21:25 I guess so. I just haven't had a real job. fair so I don't know I remember you know when I worked construction it was 7 a.m. start 9 15. Would you eat? I would try to eat but it would be tough so like I would sometimes just wait until coffee at like 9.15 and then 11.30 lunch and you were leaving for the day by 3. Yes sir. Technically breakfast has a time and lunch has a time wouldn't brunch just be the combination of how long breakfast and lunch is? There's a ventigram.
Starting point is 00:22:00 There's a little bit of both. Because it's a combination. Brunch. Well, I see, like, yeah, but 8 a.m. You're not at brunch. You're not. He's, I mean, you're at breakfast. All right.
Starting point is 00:22:12 So what, but hold on. We need to specify what is separating breakfast from brunch. And it's the inclusion of mimosas. If I could get a mimosa, it's brunch. It doesn't matter what I have. No shot. So 8 a.m., you're not at brunch. If I'm having a mimosa, I'm at brunch.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Joey, you, I, it's also like, it's okay. What about 5 o'clock? You have a mimosa. You're at brunch? AM? No. PM? You know what?
Starting point is 00:22:35 Both. Am I? AM and PM? Am I eating eggs? Sure. I'm at brunch. Come on. You're bending.
Starting point is 00:22:41 No, definitely more. No. No, 5 a.m. is, 5. 5. 5 a.m. If you're ain't drinking a mimosa at 5 a.m. You're literally. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:22:49 You're a really cool. You're a really cool person. It's probably just because I didn't end yet. Yeah. It wouldn't be because I woke up. Still drink mimosas at 5 a. 5 a. 5 a.m.
Starting point is 00:22:58 5 a.m. Mimosas is a boozy breakfast. That's what they'll call that. Boosy breakfast. They'll call it a boozy breakfast. Really good. But not 5 a.m. No. This is like a boozy lifestyle. Do you not remember what we used to do on St. Patrick's Day? That was at like 8 a.m. and those were beers. That was different. Oh. So it was also. It was also St. Patrick's Day and I was wearing a shamrock. There's a lot of things that's like.
Starting point is 00:23:22 We would literally sleep over each other's houses and go to sleep and put a tall boy next to our bed like it was a fucking nightlight. Hell yeah. And then 8 a.m. we would roll over and crack it and start going. If you're saying bacon egg and cheeses are outside the realm of breakfast, I would say St. Patty's Day is outside the realm of drinks. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:44 It's not a normal day. I agree. It doesn't count. I agree. Full heartedly. Also, when they do green beers, disgusting. Oh, I, Daddy has taken down many a green beers. And also, I, one time in college,
Starting point is 00:23:58 there was like a super fucking dive bar and I went in like September or August or something like that and they were like we're doing 50 cent beers and I was like oh sick I'll take one and it was green and I was like what the fuck is this? We're like it's still left over from St. Patrick's Day. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:24:15 So guess what though? It's beer. It's just beer. I mean what's the difference between a 50 cent green Milwaukee's best and a $2 green Milwaukee's best and a bucket of piss Yeah. What really is the difference?
Starting point is 00:24:31 It's all those things. You know what I mean? Brother, I peed hard. Do they have to put blue dye in it to get a green or green dye? Green. I have no idea. Never made them?
Starting point is 00:24:41 Are you kidding me? You guys. You guys are alcohol kings. You're the kings of booze. Do you make like jello shots? Are you that guy? Yeah. We talked recently about this.
Starting point is 00:24:48 You make them, though? I can do them, yeah. I've never made them. Yeah. I've only eaten them. Yeah. It's more like slurp for you. Yeah, it's a lot.
Starting point is 00:24:58 You got to do it in private. I will say, there is someone out there. If we ever go on Shark Tank for anything, we can pitch a really cool, like, jello shot cup that has, like, a spring-loaded bottom. It just fires a gel- You could, like, hit it, it, like,
Starting point is 00:25:16 stands and sits as a regular cup, and then you could, like, push it down, and, like, the spring underneath will just, like, pick up the jello. I'm not a big enough fan of jello shots. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense why you wouldn't know that. Are they shots? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:29 there's less there's no there's not that much yeah like each one's not a shot each one you could have 30 them and it'd be equivalent to like six shots do you like mix it in a separate thing and then pour it in so when you when you make jell have you never made jello i have made jello but i don't know like with the shots i don't know if you like add that into the ice tray or whatever when you make like the boiling water uh-huh and you add it into the uh fucking mixture the powder you add in like Oh, okay. Three quarters of a cup or whatever of whatever alcohol you want to do,
Starting point is 00:26:02 so it's not like... If you're supposed to put in two cups of water to it, you'll do one in one cup, water, one cup. Yeah. Whatever you want. All right. Like lime jello, you put tequila in it. Yeah, we get that.
Starting point is 00:26:13 We figured it out. Should we do a jello shot episode? Oh, God, it's hard. I mean, I don't want to do it like a million. I mean, it's going to be such fucking bait for all the horny people on the internet because it's just to be like... I mean, the audio listeners are going to be like,
Starting point is 00:26:26 all right, you're going to fucking crazy. It was crazy. Bad? We did a thousand one time. Excuse me? Did a thousand jello shots. How many people? There's like 40 people living in your house.
Starting point is 00:26:35 It was six. It was five of us. Five people did a thousand? And you're alive to tell the tale? That's crazy. Sort of. It was, it wasn't. It was hard.
Starting point is 00:26:44 First of all, I couldn't eat a thousand pieces of jello. Give me the information, baby. Come on. It was, it was just, it was tough. We, it was, I think it wound up, we wound up doing 600. We tried to get to the thousand. Spoiler alert, but we did six, like, 600.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Oh, he's trying to, try not to spoil the video so people will then go look it up and they will see. Dude, you, you ate a thousand jello, I mean, 100 jello shots. Yeah, we did that as well, yeah. That's insane. That's not as hard as you think. I think Danny did a hundred. I don't think I've had 50 in my life.
Starting point is 00:27:12 In your life? In my life. I think Danny did 108. That's a good question. I've never, bro, that's insane. Were you not like hammered? Everyone was thrown up, so it was fine. Well, it's also the combination of the alcohol.
Starting point is 00:27:27 gelatin and sugar. Oh, no, sugar free. We're not crazy. Oh, I mean. Oh, yeah. So forgive me. What am I going to destroy my body? Guys eating 600 jello shots are at nuts. Yeah, whoa, I'll do 600 shots, just not sugar. What am I? You can't do that and sugar jello. I mean, you're getting the sugar with the alcohol anyway.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Yeah, but it just double whammy can't do it. Yeah, it's bad. We can do a jell shot power hour. No, we can't. Yes, we could. That's too many. It would be 60 between each of us. I think we definitely could. Are I crazy? Am I crazy?
Starting point is 00:27:59 20 jello shots is a ton. It is. You won't be able to do it. You won't think I can do 20 jello shots? No, 60. Oh. I could just clip 60 like the first time I tried. You can do 20 gel.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Dude, that's a ton of jello. Brother, 20 jello shots I can do in 20 minutes. I guess that's power hours. That's not that hard. I don't even want to do it. I mean, it also depends on the size if we're doing like, fucking like this, but like a normal, like the cups they come in. One ounce. It's an ounce.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Yeah, I could... Bro, that's crazy. 20 ounces of alcohol? You can't do that? 20 ounces is like... It's like 10 drinks. No, it's not. A drink is like two ounces of alcohol, no?
Starting point is 00:28:41 But it's also, each one is not a full ounce of alcohol. It's like maybe a quarter of it. I mean, yeah. One of them has to be... I mean, bro, think about this, right? Like, I believe there's two ounces of alcohol in like a cocktail. Maybe three. I think it's actually supposed to be like 1.5 is like the measurement.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Let's call it too, right? Okay. So that's 10 drinks. Let's say, let's just cut that in half. So now we're at five drinks, right? You just said 20 minutes. Imagine drinking five cocktails in 20 minutes. I mean, you probably will like, there's going to be a delay on that, but it will hurt.
Starting point is 00:29:17 I mean, hurt how? Hammer City. You're going to be Hammer City. Yeah, every time? Yeah. I don't think. in an hour I can definitely do 60 jello shots I'm telling you I don't think you can no fucking
Starting point is 00:29:31 sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry in an hour I could definitely do 20 jellos shots oh I'd probably believe that I would I would advise not to do that I mean I'm not sitting here and by any means saying I'm like pumped at the idea well I think also 20 jello shots even if it's not 20 shots which if it's 20 shots that we're talking about the bodies here but if it's less than that in an hour
Starting point is 00:29:54 sure bro the jello to me is like a lot it's a lot of jello I mean like that must just feel weird in your belly but like what is gelatin if not just like plasmified liquid
Starting point is 00:30:06 it's gonna just get pissed out I'm just worried about the feeling of it I mean having that much jello in me would feel weird I had years ago I had I think it was a colonoscopy
Starting point is 00:30:20 and they like allow you to have jello and you just rip jello I think I ripped like to like a whole six pack of jello. Cold jello going down feels really good. Dude, jello is not getting the fucking love it deserves. I like sucking it through my teeth.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Like it's and it just like collapses and gets through. You know what I mean? You ever seen the guy that sucks in a jello shot and he like gags on it? He's like, oh, oh. Yeah. That shit is crazy. I do think that I know 20 is a lot. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Bro, if I could do 20, which I did. How many fucking pigs in a blanket did I eat? 30? I believe 30. I could, with ease, do 20 jello shots. I think you could do 20. I know you can't do 60. You know what?
Starting point is 00:31:08 In an hour, I probably can't do 60. Probably two hours. If you gave me four hours, I could do 60 gelo. I don't think you can. You'd be hurt bad after that. I mean, yeah, I'd be a little toasty. Can we just do a Sanagosidios video? Just give him four hours and 60 jello shots?
Starting point is 00:31:27 Yeah, do I have to be there? For when he vomits all over the place? I'll be there. How much? I think you like throw up. He does. He likes throwing up. He does.
Starting point is 00:31:36 It feels good because that means something has to come out. Well, that doesn't always happen. There are people that dry heave and nothing comes out. Well, that's not what I'm talking about. What was the point of bringing that up? Not always. Not always. I thought he was referencing like something always comes out.
Starting point is 00:31:53 Oh, no. I don't like throwing up. If I, if I, if there was a video that you guys made me throw up, and can't film that because he's throwing up with me. I'll be fine. And also, I'll ride with you. We'll do it together. Are you guys going to throw up together?
Starting point is 00:32:06 You see why I think he's a beautiful boy? Because you guys will throw up together in tandem. We ride together, we die together. Throw up boys for life. Right to the ads. We do have some ads here. The first one being. Uh,
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Starting point is 00:33:57 You know, if you want a primary care physician or you want a dermatologist, I just went to the dermatologist. I use Zocococ, because I don't have like one that I just go to all the time. So I looked up dermatologists in my area that took my insurance and their next available appointment pops up. Their patient reviewed. So if they have a good score, I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to them. And boom, I was there literally the same day. So I told you guys the story. I went to the barber.
Starting point is 00:34:21 He was like, I see this thing on your head. What is that? And I was like, I'm going to the dermatologist. And I ended up going that afternoon. So that's how quickly it can be. Most of them are within 24 to 48 hours. So check it out. But yeah, it's Zock.oc.com slash basement to get started right now.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Stop putting off your doctor's appointments. Okay. ZOCDOC.com slash basement. All right. Thanks for Zock, doc for sponsoring this show. Again, Zocdoc.com slash basement. Love it, beautiful, happy for everyone. You know, it's going to make you a little more happy.
Starting point is 00:34:54 Patreon. Boopoop, peteepoo! Patreon.com slash the basement yard is the best way to support us. Thank you to those that have supported us to the over 45,000 paid patrons we got on there. That's crazy. That's insane. Thank you so much. And listen, why don't you grab your friends next to you that like the show and say,
Starting point is 00:35:11 you guys want something cool? This is going to be kind of fun. Let's go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. You, your friends, your pals, everyone that you want can come on over. And why? Because it's fun. It is. You signed up for that first tier. You got these weekly episodes one week in advance. Then there's another tier right above that, right above on top, top and on the Patreon, the Patreon top. Where you get exclusive episodes every single Friday. So you could start and end your week with the Basin yard.
Starting point is 00:35:39 And I'll tell you right now, those Patreon episodes, they get after it a little bit. They're a little crazy, okay? We recently were recording and Ant was just like, it's all right, it's Patreon. So you want to know what he's referencing? when we say that, go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard. We are sincerely so appreciative of all the love and all that support you guys have given us. And that is one of the ways that you guys could support us. That makes a huge difference here. So go check it out. Patreon.com slash the baseman yard. And if while you're doing it, you want to save yourself a couple extra bucks, you can go on a web browser. All right. If you use the smart app, well, they're going to take a couple extra bucks from you because they got to pay Apple, blah, blah, blah is a whole thing. I don't want to get into it.
Starting point is 00:36:15 But if you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard while you're sitting on a computer like this, and then you do that meme where the guy looks at the computer and it goes, it's going to make you do that because it's Patreon and it's us. So patreon.com slash the basement yard on a web browser, sign up. You'll save yourself some extra money and it's fun. So thank you for all the love, all the support. Keep at it. We'll see you on Patreon.
Starting point is 00:36:36 And we'll see you here. We'll see you all around. We'll see you all around. Sorry, I'm getting fucking throttled by allergies. Spring is here, baby. You get a, what do you, ragweed? Is that what you? Oh yeah, the ragweed gets me.
Starting point is 00:36:50 What's the other one? It's ragweed and then like dust, no. Seweed? No. What? What? No one's, I mean, I'm sure there are people that are allergic to seaweed, but like, like, like ragweed. And then there's the other one that's like.
Starting point is 00:37:02 I don't know what it is, but like the first week. I don't like, there are people that get it bad. Like, remember how bad Danny gets it? Yeah. I used to get it bad, too. He can't see. I'm okay now, but like I am a little jesty bests up here. and I got a headache, but I'll be all right.
Starting point is 00:37:18 Okay. So I'm like on and off. Like one year I'll have it really bad and I can't go outside. Some days because it's like that bad. Like I just like can't be outside. Yeah. That will be all right. It's the spring.
Starting point is 00:37:31 I'm just happy. I'm just happy about the fucking good weather. Oh my God. The sun, when it touches my face, it makes me feel so good and warm inside. Do you like have like a park you just go and lay on the grass? Because I remember when we went and did the UK tour, that last day before the last show, so I guess there were two days left,
Starting point is 00:37:51 you just laid down in the middle of that college campus on the grass and just lived on that. In Ireland, Trinity, yeah. Dude, that was sick. I love this laying on the ground. You know how they say, like, oh, I'm grounding. When you're like barefoot on the grass? Apparently that's a real thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:06 I can feel it. Apparently, too, that it's like there are studies that support the idea that getting your hands, like dirty like gardening or something like that it like boosts something serotonin or a dopamine i mean there's nothing better than playing in the fucking dirt why don't we stop doing that because i used to play in the dirt like crazy me and keith used to like dig i would touch worms and shit and now i'd like i'd play like them like the accordion which is probably bad you shouldn't do that you probably murdered these poor worms yeah yeah and then the roly polioles i would go like this yeah like they were a bugger and i
Starting point is 00:38:39 flick them oh yeah also murder yeah i think i'm we're finding out something about jo I wasn't trying to hurt them. I just thought it was fun. But I used to play in the dirt, and I would just take, like, dirt, and I would go, oh, and I liked having dirt. And I wish I got more dirt on my face, because that looks cool. It does look cool. We also know how you feel about soot. Don't get me started on chimneys.
Starting point is 00:38:59 We're not going to go. If I could work as a chimney sweeper, twice a year, I would. For free. What's stopping you, baby? That's true. I mean, I don't have a chimney. You know what? Let's call your bluff.
Starting point is 00:39:12 I think we should start a petition. To get me clean chimneys? One day a year. It doesn't even need to be two. One day a year, Joe is a chimney sweep. And I need a work van. And you'll call it Joe's Joe will clean your pipes. Yeah, well, no, we're not going to do that because we don't want people to get confused of why I'm here.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Yeah, let Joe slide down your chimney. Do you have a chimney? We have a chimney. Did you have a chimney? No, we didn't have one. Do you have a chimney? I don't. But we have a gas fireplace.
Starting point is 00:39:41 so we don't have to like clean out. How do you clean a chimney? It's like a big like, whew-w-w-w-ch-w-h-h-h-h-h-oh. Oh, I thought it was like old-timey British guys. Shara and they like good. And they got a big broom and they're just fucking under it. But does it look like a big feather?
Starting point is 00:39:58 Like a big, like a... I imagine it's like the brooms that they use on the floor like that they show in like, you know, Oliver Twist or something, the push brooms. Oh, I was thinking more of like a like a duster, but it's massive. And you're like... Oh, you know, there's probably an answer, and I'm sure Aunt will look it up.
Starting point is 00:40:15 But, like, I don't think it's that, like, you need a, like, so if it's a duster, you're not going to be able to do it. I fucking wish it would cake, dude. Nothing would make me happier than falling into a mountain of soot and coming out and being like. Yeah, well, you would probably have some health things coming as a result of that. Yeah. I imagine that it's not. What the hell is that? Oh, I've seen this.
Starting point is 00:40:36 I've seen this. It's like a, so they put it on like a... A stick. No, no. they put it on like a drill and it spins. Oh, I don't like this. This is the same thing. I've gotten like my air vents cleaned out and this is what they used.
Starting point is 00:40:49 My dad's toothbrush used to look like that. The guy would fucking brush his teeth mad hard. You know what? I wonder if that's a relatable thing. Pull that up again. I got you. Dues, does anyone else's father's toothbrush look like that? Yeah, that's how my dad's toothbrush would look.
Starting point is 00:41:06 He's not kidding. It would be like Moses was on that and just fucking cut the thing in half. And my dad was basically brushing with the plastic. Yeah, I remember that as a kid just being like, what is this guy doing to his team? I'm like, yo, go easy, bro. None of us are doing this and he's just like, ah, la, la. What is like dads in the morning? They make someone, do you do this?
Starting point is 00:41:24 You get in the bathroom, you start making sounds. No, I'll be honest with you. I am silent in the morning. Really? You don't go. No, I don't, I don't do that. I do it a little bit. I'm not going to lie.
Starting point is 00:41:34 I mean, it happens. Like, as you get older, like our bodies are changing again. Why? Okay. Why can't bodies just be the same, dude? Why does it need to be, like, they change when you're a teenager, and then, like, you get 30, and here comes another change. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:48 That's the last time I want that to happen. When I'm congested and I get in the shower, I'm making noise. You're letting it, you're, huck. I mean, I'm not going to, like, hawk spit in my fucking... You're going to spit all that thing in the shower. Uh-huh. No, I'm not going to do that. But I will, like, like, get my hole,
Starting point is 00:42:10 and then just wipe it. Are you one of these guys? G-Gh- No, I'm not. I'm not. Oh, I hate that. Bro, one time I was on the track. I was at a park, public park.
Starting point is 00:42:20 I was on the track. The guy in front of me, snot-rocketed, like Randy Johnson. And I was like, bro, I'm right here. I fucking hate that, dude. You know, it's so fucking nasty. Buggers are fucking gross. Bougars are gross.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Dude, but I'm gonna say this, okay? And I'm gonna put this out there. You like boogers? No. I love. picking my nose, dude. Picking my nose is so fire. Why in God's name, have we's, has someone started this movement? I don't know who the
Starting point is 00:42:49 fuck did it. Something tells me it was just like right around like Jackie O. That it's not good. That like, picking your boogers is like unsightly and shit like that like... It's fire. Dude, I fucking love picking my nose and then just like, you know, I'll keep a paper towel with me and I'll wipe it out and I'll wash my hands. I'll throw it on the ground. But dude, if you're talking to me, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna get in there. I also like, you know when you get like the edge of one, you're like, oh, this is. This is a big good one. And then you get like a long. And it like pulls it out of your brain?
Starting point is 00:43:18 I, there's few things in this world I like more than that. Dude, boogers are gross. I'm going to throw up. But I love. But my boogers. I love my boogers. I'm not going to eat them though. I'll fuck him. I'll never eat them.
Starting point is 00:43:30 I ate them when I was like three years old. I've never eaten them. You're disgusting. I've eaten. I think I saw something once that apparently there's like, health benefits to eating your bookers, dude. Let's not do this. I think there is.
Starting point is 00:43:44 I'm not kidding. I think those are just like trick. Look up a doctor like article. There's no way. Should we use our Dr. Mike calling for this? We should use our one. It's called Dr. Mike. Should I DM him?
Starting point is 00:43:56 Yeah. Um, but just like make it okay again. Yeah. Just being like, yo, there's something in there. Let me just go and fucking get it out. Also like when I pick my nose and it like, causes a nose bleed, I don't, I like it. I don't know why. Because you feel like, it's like the whole idea of like, like, you want to work a day. Like, you want to feel like you're, no, no, no,
Starting point is 00:44:23 it's not like a black eye. It's like, oh, I got a blade nose. Like, because I don't like get blood all over my hands. I don't really like blood to begin with. But like, when you cause a bloody nose, because it's because you got like a good one. And it's like, and then you're like, oh, no, I'm bleeding. You know what I mean? I, I don't like bloody noses. I do like the air. I do like the aftermath of like when it crusts up in there. You could like clean it out like you gotta clean out your own chimney. Bro, what? Yo, this is great.
Starting point is 00:44:49 This is yes. Yeah. When you get a bloody nose and it's like crust on the outside and you just go like this. Yeah. And then like I'm going out. It looks like pepper. Yes. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:45:01 I'm peppermilling my nose. Oh my god. You ever get a blood clot in your nose and you got to like pull it? Cause you're like shoved. Oh, I don't know about that. No, not like an actual blood clot. I mean like, when you get a bloody nose and you put a tissue in there
Starting point is 00:45:12 and then you pull a tissue out and you're like, oh, dude, it's so disgusting but it's great. Oh my God, the feeling of like jamming paper towels or tissues in your nose, which don't do Dr. Mike, I'm sure he'll tell us that, but who cares? Yeah. And then you pull them out and it's like, that first inhalation of air is like fucking,
Starting point is 00:45:30 what I imagine, heroin in the butt. For real. Yeah, boof my anus with the black tar. No, for real Because when you get it in there And bro, you ever do a double? You ever shove double in there? I don't know if I've doubled it up
Starting point is 00:45:47 When I'm like very, very congested, I'll do steam and then I shove two in there To get it all loose and then when I pull it out It's like, oh Dude, I kind of like I once saw someone do that But with a tampon Hey nose?
Starting point is 00:46:03 Yeah, because what is a tampon If we know what a tampon is Let's make that a fun What is a tampon if not You've been speaking like Shakespeare a lot lately I mean I am a thespian But like What we're explaining
Starting point is 00:46:19 But just doing that with a tampon Because they're made to be absorbent Yeah yeah So that son of a bitch is coming out And I'll be able to smell you From fucking Zimbabwe Oh my God It's so good dude
Starting point is 00:46:30 I love smelling A bloody nose is Not cool while it's happening It's so cool after I remember once I got a bloody nose like at a pizza place. Yeah. There has to be more to that story. There has to be.
Starting point is 00:46:46 It can't be the end, Frank. There's got to be more. It can't be the end. It fell on my pizza slice and I just cut that slice off and then ate the rest. I mean, it's already in my mouth. Okay, as long as it's my blood. Yeah, if I got a, I mean, if I have bloody nose, the blood is in my mouth. And I can't tell you how many times I've gotten a cut.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Yeah, you're like that. I'm not like that. Really? I won't lick my cuts. No, I'm not a cat. Well, cats are on to something because it's not the worst. Yeah. I just don't like the taste of blood.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I mean, I don't either. I'm not like sitting there and I'm just like, mm. It's like I'm eating a pen or something. Yeah. Bro, you know one time I was chewing on a pen and it exploded in my mouth? Yeah, you told this story. It's disgusting. It was like a thing that kids did in like middle school and elementary school
Starting point is 00:47:39 that like they would like pop pens in their mouth and be like, eh, and like swallow fucking. I don't remember that. Yeah, there were some, there were some Puerto Rican girls I knew that did it. Oh, so it was popular with the Puerto Ricans. Puerto Ricans crushed it. They were crazy on it. Do you remember when the kids back in the day used to be like this? Turn their eyelids inside out and it's like, look, I got red eyes.
Starting point is 00:48:01 I want to slap them in the face. If I could do that, I would. But you were that guy. I'm not going near my eye. I know exactly what guy he was. First of all. What age? For him?
Starting point is 00:48:11 Yeah. Nine. Okay, at nine. What grade is that? Fourth grade. Okay. It was the type of guy that definitely did that. What?
Starting point is 00:48:22 Because that definitely showed up every day with the coolest school lunch and was just like, whatever. So like, you'd go to him and be like, yo, you don't want that. You don't want your crunch bar with your lunch bowls, right? and he'd be like, yeah, yeah, that's fine. But then you'd go to his house for a play date, and he would just ruin your life by being good at Mario Kart. And she'd be like, I'm just good. Is that you?
Starting point is 00:48:43 Last part was pretty accurate for sure. Is you cry in school? You're a fucking cryer? I don't think so. I cried once because I thought I failed a test, and I was like in second grade. Brother? Second grade?
Starting point is 00:48:55 You cried because you failed a test? No, I thought I did. Thought he failed a test. Let me tell you. First of all, second grade, I cried over one thing, and it was the girl at that time that I loved. I told her that and then I cried. Oh, I did that too.
Starting point is 00:49:07 Same girl. She, uh, he did, we probably told the story before he was on the show at all. There's so many stories you don't know about us, dude. Just come and hey with us. So there's this girl that Frank liked and he told her that he liked her. And then, uh, then he cried right after he told her. I, I went up to her. I was wearing a Pokemon shirt, which so radical.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Which Pokemon? Bulbosaur. There's the Bolbosaur line. Oh, that's why he didn't get it. All right. Continue. I'm kidding. He said it.
Starting point is 00:49:32 That's insane. Had it been a Charmander, we don't know how it could have gone. That's what, that's what I'm saying. You know what? That is fair, but she didn't care about that. She cared about, you know, S Club 7 or, you know, I cared about that.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Okay. Sorry, what grade was this? I'm sorry. Second grade. Yeah. Got it, go. And I went up to her in class and I was just like, you know, it was crazy because, you know, I said something.
Starting point is 00:49:53 I was like, because I like, like you, you know, immediately started to cry. Yeah. Immediately. It was him. Big moment. Wait, why? He just confessed.
Starting point is 00:50:01 And he felt like, you know. This was a big moment for me, dude. That was the first time I told a girl I liked her. Bro, telling a girl you liked her? That was tough. That was basically, like, diving in the Marianas Trench. Yeah, it was big. It was dangerous.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Free solo? Who gives a fuck? You said you liked her. No response. And you started crying right after? I think he cried before she could even utter a response. That's probably fair and true. Yeah, it was kind of like in tandem, it happened.
Starting point is 00:50:24 He put his face in his shirt and cried. Yeah. He may have been going for the pity thing, but we don't know how... Oh, good chance. More likely that I was than... wasn't if we're being honest. Yeah, it could have been something like that. And at the end of the day, we would always get like with like our spelling words. We would get like crossword puzzles with like our spelling words. A yada yada. Remember spelling tests? And I remember I like went up to her. I was like,
Starting point is 00:50:46 I'm finished your mind. You need help. And Joe's like, oh, because she's your girlfriend. And I mean, I said that. Yeah. And I was like, this. Oh, what a scumb bag. Dushbag. And you started. I turned around. I was like, fuck you douchebag. Second grade. Second grade pussy douchebag. But But then in fourth grade, sane girl was in our class. And I forgot what it was about, but she was like, you keep doing that. I'm going to tell on you. I don't care. Tell on me.
Starting point is 00:51:10 She told me, mold. Yeah, yeah. I cried my eyes out. Called your bluff. She called my bluff. She was not to be fucking trifled with. I remember, like, all the teachers liked her. Low-key fast.
Starting point is 00:51:24 Mad-fast, dude. She was like a horse, dude. She was mad-mad, mad-fast. Yeah, she was like an athlete. Yo, I don't know what it was. The girls in our class were like fucking quick. Bro, Jamie? I like basically...
Starting point is 00:51:37 Lolo Jones. Like, it's as fuck, dude. Yeah, Bridget, she was... We had a class. Lauren Betancourt. We had a class with fucking... I just first and last three years. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:51 Yeah, you should... What do you want me to do about that? That's fine. Yeah, I mean, we're just giving her props, dude. Yeah, we're just saying that she was a crazy athlete. Our fucking elementary school. Because like, I've firmly, firmly, you know, stand by this. It was like the Lisa Leslie of fucking athletes in our school.
Starting point is 00:52:13 The Serena Williams. Jane? Oh my God. Bro, this girl at tennis. Sabolenko. She, that ass was nice. Yo, like, fucking insane. We were like four years old.
Starting point is 00:52:28 She's fucking cash, cash. Okay, she was nice. Also, you probably don't know the story, but I like Jane. Oh, yeah. And I told her, I was like, do you like me? And she's like, I'm gonna ride it on the desk. This was first grade and she wrote it in script. I didn't learn scripts until third grade. He still doesn't know what I was like, he still doesn't know. I was like, now she's drawn roller coasters like, what the fuck is this? But yeah, bro, they were fucking quick. Yeah, you know, he had to say athletes, bro. Jamie was basically Michael Jordan. Yeah, like Like was like balling up with dudes at fucking fourth grade and like fucking slamming jays in that face And then Lauren Lauren was like Brittany Griner dude like she was like just backing me down like to me like all the shit I know this didn't happen but it felt like she could dunk if not we were in third grade but it felt like she could not only could she dunk she could throw an Aralda Chapman fucking fastball, dude.
Starting point is 00:53:26 I remember playing ASS at the wall, and she would fucking cock back and throw this ball harder than any person I've ever seen. Low key, you know who was fast? Najat. Bro, Najat was the question. Yo, she could cover ground out there. Bro, I'm telling you. Bro, crazy.
Starting point is 00:53:42 If pole vaulting was available, she could have done it standing up. You know what steel the bacon is? Yeah, I think so. You either know or you don't. There's one rule in the whole game. You got to steal the ball in the middle or something. Yeah, yeah. You like you call a number and you kind of do that.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Bro. We're talking about legends at steal the bacon. You're never catching them. Bro, we did something called line soccer. Okay. You would take four classes of fourth graders and line them up on either side of the gin. So, you know, what? 60 kids on each side.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Yeah. And the idea was like, same thing. They'd be like 9 and 14 And 9 and 14 when Run into the middle they'd have to get the soccer ball and like dribble it And try to get it past the line of kids Dude How's that possible?
Starting point is 00:54:32 It is because I'll tell you how When you had fucking Mia ham Lauren Lauren I'm not gonna drop it Just like fucking Lauren Bedcourt She's getting her flowers today Yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:54:43 She kicked that ball Bro kids ran the opposite way Yeah she was getting a free fucking goal Because she kicked that shit crazy, first of all, if she was kicking at me,
Starting point is 00:54:53 I'm like, bro, I got to go to math. I'm not getting in front of this thing. It's a fireball. You remember in Super Mario Strikers
Starting point is 00:54:59 when you do like the super move and like Mario would cock back and have like a flaming foot? Yeah. That's what this fucking chick was like,
Starting point is 00:55:05 dude. She let that shit. Bro, she let that shit fly, dude. But also Dennis, our friend Dennis, bro,
Starting point is 00:55:13 he would kick that ball. I'm not kidding. I would get out of the way today. He was in fourth grade. Yo, the only thing that I, I was able to, I as a like teenager would wear Timberland boots to go play kickball to replicate what eight-year-old Dennis was kicking.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Same with Lauren. And like that's why growing up like the whole idea of just like, girls are not good as sports. I was like, that is so foreign for me. You don't know the girls that we grew up with. Yeah. Because they were fucking balling up. And they were throwing hard. They were faster than most of the people I've ever met my entire life.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Yeah, that's so fucking funny. Flaming foot Everyone's like Oh fuck Look out And like It would like Would I imagine
Starting point is 00:55:59 If it hit someone It sounded like When fucking you go bowling And like it hits the pins That sound And right behind you It's just a brick wall Not a brick wall
Starting point is 00:56:09 No yeah Brick wall brother And this ball would hit the wall And it would just sound Like the loudest slap Spence Yeah I think we played dodgeball
Starting point is 00:56:21 once And then our teacher was like, never again. I'm like, we're not doing this. Yo, we played this game. This is so fucking funny. Hold on, hold, hold. Let me do the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Starting point is 00:59:24 March Madness Brackett-style game that we played called Nukem. And imagine, like, volleyball, but, like, you didn't need to hit it. You could grab it and throw it. Yo, these fucking girls were jumping as high as the fucking net and launching that shit down at us. Yeah. And you got out the way because if not, you were in big time trouble.
Starting point is 00:59:49 You think, like, when you're younger, the girls, they mature so much faster than the boys. Yeah. Especially me. I was fucking tiny. And then you had, like, basically, I, dude, I'm not kidding. It's just my experience, but when you're younger, but it really felt like they were the monstars.
Starting point is 01:00:08 Yo. Like, it felt like they were huge. Seriously, that's why, like, that mentality of just, like, girls. What sports? What the fuck? Not fifth grade, brother. exist for us. Not fifth grade.
Starting point is 01:00:19 Because like, yo, I feel like there was a more of a, like more girls in our class were better at good at sports than boys in our class were good at sports. Am I bugging on that one? I don't even know. I mean, like who were the boy, like, like, who were like the our grade boy athletes? It was like you, Dennis, Cody. Like, I can't. I forgot about that kid.
Starting point is 01:00:46 I can't remember anyone else. Do you remember his last name? No, we'll find it, though. Oh, I'd try to. I was thinking Yelnats. I'm like, that's a different thing. That's Stanley Yelnats from Holes. Yep, that's not it.
Starting point is 01:00:55 But wow, Cody. I haven't even thought about that in so long. That's so funny. They were like 12 girls that could ball the fuck up. For some reason, yeah. Those are the days. But yeah, Nukem, dude, used to take it so seriously. Do you remember our team?
Starting point is 01:01:13 The dragons? The Bloody Dragons. The Bloody Dragons? Yeah, we were the bloody dragons. Wow. And we beat in the championship, the undefeated team of the unbeatables. pretty beautiful when in my middle school it was st margaret's dragons uh-huh and you went to st margaret's i want to say margaret's yeah oh cool and for where's that i played them in basketball when i was
Starting point is 01:01:34 younger and um they released merch at some point and the school the school did and st margots dragons was smd and that's crazy and they released it and obviously all the kids do and so you could do SMD, Grandma, SMD. No! Yeah, you could do all that. I bought so many things immediately the next day they took it all off the store, but I got it.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Suck my idea, Grandma's crazy. I was wearing it. Wait, why would they put that if you're the lions? What? Are you even listening? I said dragons. St. Margaret's Dragons. You didn't say lions?
Starting point is 01:02:13 No. Oh, I heard lions for something. I'm so confused. Yeah, no. S&D. Wow. St. Margaret's Dragons. What were you?
Starting point is 01:02:24 What was your, what was St. Francis Prep? You were the terriers. The non-scarious dog on the fucking planet. Annoying though. Annoying which everyone from that school pretty much was. It wasn't the coolest mascot. It definitely was not.
Starting point is 01:02:37 No, no, it wasn't. We were a dog. Yeah. It was worse back in the day because like when my brother went, it was just like a pall print. Like now there's like a dog. Now it's just a smaller dog, dude. But it's like the dog looks like,
Starting point is 01:02:50 little cooler but a paup and not like a cool paul print it was just like a dog paw print oh that's that sucks that sucks well that's kind of Clemson is I was gonna say that's what Clemson well clinton well the Paul print school I'm fine with that I like Clemson but they're the Clemson Tigers they're not the little kitty cats that's true you know you're the it's like the fucking St. Francis Prep Poodles you might as well be I we honestly yeah my my two high school mascots were cool so the first one was the sting and it was a it was a hornet Terrier beats the shit out of a hornet.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Brother. A terrier beats the shit out of a hornet. What do you think has killed more people in this world? The sting from a hornet or a terrier? That's a better point. And then you were the owls. The owls. I love owls.
Starting point is 01:03:36 First of all, dragons take out all of those. Sure. Dragons take out all those. Lions beat everybody, though. Who's the lions? Lion your back and take these dicks. You said lion. You said the lions lions your back and
Starting point is 01:03:56 First of all take these dicks Frankie can you hit him with a godum please I panicked I'm sorry I didn't think he was actually gonna fall for it Every time you get me I panic a little Lions you're back and suck my both of my dicks I was abating about getting you guys with the dragons
Starting point is 01:04:16 But I already already You can't double up I can't double you already did imagine dragon. Yeah, I can't double dragons. You can't double dragons. Oh, man. I'm on a hot streak. Well, he got you pretty bad last time. He also got a flashy thing at the camera. That was
Starting point is 01:04:28 meme, so, I mean, he's winning. Yeah, that was absolutely good. But, yeah, I like the owls. I think the owls is a cool one. You know what? You were trying to get that lions in too much. I should have picked that up. I'm shocked you didn't. Yeah. I honestly, that's why I didn't make eye contact with you because I thought you'd be like, oh, I see. Oh, that's what you're doing.
Starting point is 01:04:45 Yeah, yeah, 100%. I thought maybe you were like just so focused on fifth grade. Yeah. And then my college mascot were the Chargers. It was a cool horse. Horse. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:59 A charger is a horse, like a Dodge Charger. Is it? Yeah. I thought the Challenger was the horse. No, a Charger, Mustang. Oh, the Mustang. That's what I'm thinking about Mustang. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:12 You're right. Wait. I don't know if the Chargers is a horse, though. I know Mustang. Chargers are horses. Like, that's a breed of horse. I believe so. I got you.
Starting point is 01:05:20 I have no idea. I don't know if they're like official scientific name is like Chargionis, a horse antipolis or something, but like... It probably isn't. I would count that, don't worry. That just sounds like a Greek horse. Chargianus. Chargianus.
Starting point is 01:05:34 Term for strong, swift horse. Charger? Yep. Specifically a war horse. What did you... Ooh. That might be your best one. I like the owls, though.
Starting point is 01:05:46 Owls, and the colors were the same. It was blue and yellow, blue and yellow. We had a toy We had the smirfield They went D1 recently What's St. Marks? Blue Red Red
Starting point is 01:05:57 Oh, with white Yeah Yeah And then you guys were red and blue Right Yeah St. Francis Prep So boring
Starting point is 01:06:04 St. Francis too Of a sissy I guess They're like They're like Older brother And older cousin I don't think they're related
Starting point is 01:06:13 It actually Oh wow I didn't even Yeah How would that not How would they not be related? saints, dude. I don't know. There's saints of everything. Well, the St. Francis, it's not like of prep. It's just prepping school. Like, it's prepping you for...
Starting point is 01:06:28 I'm aware. But, like, there's like St. Francis of a sissy. And then maybe there could be like a St. Francis of whatever. What is a sissy? A sissy is like a place. Oh, I always thought of it as just like, you're a sissy. He's. You thought that's what they would name a school. No, I know. But that's what we named people. Like, we knew our, like, a bunch of our friends went there to be like, you're a sissy. Did you call your sister that? Sissy as a kid, yeah I think my brother still do Which is weird
Starting point is 01:06:54 I think you still do No, I really definitely do not You make that abundantly clear Is sissy weird? I don't put it that weird It's like a kid version of sister It's just like Sissy I don't think it's weird
Starting point is 01:07:06 As a child But like if you're like 33 years old And saying like hey Sissy Yeah I guess so Maybe grow up I mean you tummy You say tummy Well I have kids now
Starting point is 01:07:17 Yeah but you say it to not kids but when you have kids some of the vernacular bleeds into the rest of your life you'll see it one day like you'll see something and you'll just be like what
Starting point is 01:07:30 what you'll see it you'll see it Jesus Christ see it one day yeah I think you will hear it one day what does that mean
Starting point is 01:07:44 the words what are we talking about I don't know And you pointed to your ear Because you hear it I know what ears are Oh, okay Sorry
Starting point is 01:07:56 Lie on the back And take these dicks Is this? Take these dicks Lyons your backs That's not even fair It's close in love Lion, lie on your back
Starting point is 01:08:06 I haven't heard of it I like its creativity It's great Yeah, if anything It's double points Because of how fucking good it was I mean you said I said lions
Starting point is 01:08:15 Lion Why did I say it like that I said lions Just because you didn't specifically say lie in, you plural, pluralized it. Isn't that the whole point? It's close. It's what we can let them decide. I mean, he's got, he's 300 bucks in the hole now. So that's why he's trying to defend himself. Whoa, I'm 200 bucks in the hole. This is out of play. That's out of bounds, buddy.
Starting point is 01:08:35 Why is that one out of balance? Oh, that's out of balance. How the hell is that out of yeah, you did it during a Santa Ana Studios video? That's like who cares when it was done. It was done. The rules are the rules. Yeah. You didn't make of them. Technical Frank. We talked about it on the show. Yeah. I have the rule. We have to pull up the tape. You've called me a bitch outside of the show and we're not marking it down. That's a good point. That's a good point. When? When have I? All the time. No. When? Can you recall a time that I have called you a bitch outside of the show? I can. What would you, how would you like me to answer you want to date? Pre-bet?
Starting point is 01:09:05 No. I definitely pre-bet. No. But like outside of the show? No way. Yeah. The Santa Gautos studios one can count. You can't. Oh, you want to go through the videos? Do you think you never called me a bitch in a Santa Santa Claus Studios video? Never since that the fucking thing has come out. Never since we made that bet. I'm not going to watch all that. Maya, do us a favor. Put it together. Maya.
Starting point is 01:09:28 There's almost no, I can, I can almost guarantee. And if I'm wrong, every one of those words, I almost said it, that I used to prove your point, you could count them as two. Eight. No. Eight. Always dealing. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:47 This guy can't ever take a fucking. I get it. I'm gonna burp. You're right? You're gonna burp? No, it's just airs coming out of me. You want me to come over there and burp you? I don't know why I'm like a cat's about to throw up.
Starting point is 01:09:59 I can burp you. Burp them like a baby. Yeah, I think that works for humans. Does it? I don't think it works for babies. No, I think they say that like you're not supposed to do that. Smack their back? I vaguely remember that from when I had two young babies.
Starting point is 01:10:12 Don't you hold? I feel like you should have a definitive answer right now. Well, you forget, you know? Did you do it? I did, I did rubs. Like this? I did rubs, yeah. It's like pets.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Getting your back rubbed. So good. So good. So good, dude. You don't like getting rubbed? You know what I don't like? My shoulders getting rubbed. I hate that.
Starting point is 01:10:32 Why? Like, you haven't gotten a massage? No, I've never gotten a massage. You've never gotten a massage? I never gone to a... Either way. When you, like, you know, people come behind your back and start doing, like, your shoulders up there? I just don't like it.
Starting point is 01:10:43 Really? Yeah, it feels weird. Yeah, well, you gotta get a massage. You got to go to a spa. Why don't... No, I'm not going to a massage. I didn't even say anything. He didn't even say it.
Starting point is 01:10:53 We knew what you were going to say. Don't for a single second. Pretend you weren't going to suggest that we do it together or for standing out of studio video. It is a solo experience or with a female companion experience. Yeah. Or a male companion. However you choose, or a non-binary. However you want to companionize.
Starting point is 01:11:12 Is that a word? Love it. Thank you. It's one of those things. I've never had cucumbers on my eyes, but that I'd love. I would love. like it, but also not because I just want to eat them. You know what I want to do?
Starting point is 01:11:23 We'll eat them after, right? Just, I want to go to a, what's it called when they, like, a, get a facial. All right. Take it easy. I mean, jokes aside. You know what I mean? Like, I want to, like, like a mask, maybe some mud. You can do it at home.
Starting point is 01:11:39 No, I know, but I want to go to a place and, like. I know where you want to go. You want to go to the-steam you? I, dude, my, my fucking barber does that. He steams you? They steam, they literally. put this big careful.
Starting point is 01:11:53 Yeah, yeah. This big arm, like they like wheel it over and they put it right here. Steam? Right before they do my, my shave, and they turn it on
Starting point is 01:12:01 and steam just fucking all over my face for like 10 minutes. It's to like open up the pores and then they do the hot towel. We're in a jokes aside zone. Don't worry. No jokes right now.
Starting point is 01:12:14 We call time out. But it's just like steam. Yeah. That's kind of nice. Yeah, it's really good. Does he do like a raising, they cut you up? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:22 Yeah. Nice. They do. They do here. They do here. They do it. It's actually a girl. The two that I've gotten at this place.
Starting point is 01:12:28 Yeah. You don't go to the same one? I don't care that much. Whoa. I don't care. That's interesting. Where do you get your hair cut? Not where, but like you go to like one person?
Starting point is 01:12:37 Yeah. One person. If they're not there, I'll go home. Really? Call before. You're not on a, you're not on a. Yeah. If I call, well, sometimes I'm walking by and so, all right.
Starting point is 01:12:45 What's the name? Eddie. Eddie. Bro, it's always Eddie. It is Eddie. I don't know if that's the real name, to be fair. Oh, I think ours... How would that not be?
Starting point is 01:12:52 The butchers, one of them was Eddie, right? Yeah, the butcher. That's what we called. The Russian butcher. That's what we called the guys. My guy's Russian. Yeah, my guy's Russian. I'm saying they're all Eddie.
Starting point is 01:13:01 That's what I'm saying. They're all Eddie. Bro, also another thing about it, he's probably right, because on Dimp Mars, that's Eddie's two. Oh my God. And there's like Eddie's, Eddie's two, Eddie's three. Yeah. What the hell?
Starting point is 01:13:12 Eddie's got a strong... They got a chokehold on the haircutting game. Maybe it's like a, it's like the American version of a name in Russia that's common. That's what I'm saying. I'm not like one of those guys that like, I need to get my haircut by the same person every single time. But you build a rapport. Yeah, but also like I don't care enough about my hair. See, it's just a luxury because you have nice hair. Like you could do whatever you want. Yeah, I can cut your hair. Yeah, it'll be fine.
Starting point is 01:13:36 I didn't pay for haircuts for years. I used to get them buzzed in college like by my roommate and then after I just grew my hair out for years. Yeah, I did the same. I, my brother cut my hair. Yeah, I remember your brother would do it in the for like 10 years. Who cares, dude? Really? I mean, after a while, he hated it. How much should get you to shave your head? No chance in hell.
Starting point is 01:13:57 Really? No. Why? Insecurity? You'd look good. With the shaved head? Yeah, you'd look more like Channing Tatum than you already do. I'm good.
Starting point is 01:14:07 It works for you because you can grow a beard. Rip. Not like that. But like even that is good. I can't. Yeah. You bald would be interesting. I can't.
Starting point is 01:14:18 I'm also afraid it won't come back. You'd be like Fester, kind of. Yeah, I can't do that, you know. See, he didn't have to bring it to that level. What, bald no beard? What are you supposed to do? You would look like Uncle Fester. It happens.
Starting point is 01:14:31 I mean, you wouldn't have the, like... It got a little more color, I think. A lot more color, the Black guy. Whatever that is. A little more color, I believe. There are some distinguishing characteristics that would make you look enough not like Uncle Fester, but be close.
Starting point is 01:14:46 Do you think you got a lumpy hands? head? Maybe. How would I know? I felt my head and I'm like, oh my God. I felt my head recently and I was like, what is that? A lump? It's like a little bump.
Starting point is 01:14:58 Yeah, I got something too. I think like heads are lumpy. Some people got perfectly round heads and I'm like, bro, what is that? I'm thankful every day I don't have my father's head. That guy's head. It's a lower his place? It's a fucking disaster, dude.
Starting point is 01:15:10 It's like a... Bro, it's like here and then it fucking flat on the back. Like, he didn't like pick up his head for the first. Not a lot of time. Tommy time, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, forget about it. This guy had no tummy time.
Starting point is 01:15:21 And now he's got too much tummy time. You know what I'm saying? Do I? He needed a helmet. He definitely needed a helmet, my father. He probably still does. I like when babies have the helmets. I think it's cute.
Starting point is 01:15:32 Oh, I love, yeah, when kids have those helmets. Yeah. You put stickers on them and stuff. I heard they smell bad, though. They stink, dude. Really? Yeah. My nephew had one, and it smelled like shit.
Starting point is 01:15:43 What? The kid's helmets. It's like a helmet. Because children, like, heads are still like malleable so if they're laying on their back a lot then it flattens their heads you do your helmet to like shape it so that's like circular i meant i meant more that's good to know but i meant more why is it smell because they're babies bro they're kids and they're running around and sweating got it and like and it's made of a foam too so it's not like
Starting point is 01:16:07 an easily cleaned situation i mean it's like a there's like a rubberyness to it it's not like foam. I'll be honest with you. If I was a kid and I had that helmet, I'm fucking diving off of tables and stuff like that. I thank God I didn't have it because I would have taken full advantage of that bitch. You know it stinks casts. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:16:30 When children have casts. Oh. That makes me sad. Keith had a cast. Well, that makes sense. When we cut that thing open, I was like look at this. Yeah, Miles had a cast, but I wasn't there when they cut it off, so I don't know if it smelled, but I imagine it did. And then also, like, your skin is so like, it's like seeing the light of day for the first time.
Starting point is 01:16:46 And it's like, oh, I do kind of like when you have a band-aid on, though. And then, like, you take it off. It's like white. It's like white and shriveled. And it's like, well, you're finally stepping out of the cave. Yeah, I'm like, ew, I have a dead part of my finger. Yeah. You like that?
Starting point is 01:16:59 I kind of do. Why? I like to look at it and just be like, you're new. You're new? You're new here. I get it. A little bit. I don't.
Starting point is 01:17:09 You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it is new there. Yeah, it is. You like Band-Aids? I'm good on Band-Dates. What's the worst? That's not how I wanted to ask the question. I like Band-Aids, right?
Starting point is 01:17:23 Yeah. Like having them on me and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if a Band-Aid gets on me in the pool... Oh, that's bad. That's really bad. Outside of a log of shit, that's probably the worst thing I want to find in a pool. I would honestly probably be more afraid of the Band-Aid than the Log of shit.
Starting point is 01:17:40 I honestly didn't want to say that because I was embarrassed, but I think I feel the same. I got you. I'll support you through this. Like, if the log of shit, like, bumped into my elbow, I would be. for sure be upset. Yeah. But if a Band-Aid touched me, I'd be like, no! I know that there is like germs and bacteria that can come off a log of shit.
Starting point is 01:17:55 But it just feels like the ones on the Band-Aid are more dangerous. So much worse. Way worse. Like a band-like if I... Oh, my God, dude. I'm just like picturing this. Like, if I'm in a pool, like having fun and someone's like, hey, you got a Band-Aid on you. And I look and it's just been on me and I don't know how long it's been on me, I'd be like,
Starting point is 01:18:10 oh my God. Yeah, your day's ruined. I just can't do that. Your whole trip is ruined, probably knowing Joey. A loose Band-Aid? Oh, my gosh. Loose Band-Aid sucks. That was the, when we, remember years ago we did that, uh, bean-boozled video. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:22 That was the worst of all those bean-boozled flavors. That was definitely the worst one because it's like, how in God's name did they perfectly get the taste and flavor something that I just don't even ever remember having put in my mouth. Yeah, it's just like the smell of it. Oh. And like the presence of a Band-Aid. It just smells like something. I mean, they did have throw-up and I didn't like that. The throw-up was bad.
Starting point is 01:18:45 Oh, my God. The spoiled milk? Spoiled milk was bad, but the used Band-Aid one was, I was like, astonished at how bad it was. You know, you guys are right. We're probably due for a bean-boozled one. Oh, come on, guy. Also, you know what I love? Uh, where are my gloves?
Starting point is 01:19:07 Come on, heat. Any day now? Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm. Tap the banners to order your groceries online at voila. Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in-store and online, though some may vary.
Starting point is 01:19:30 Of ace bandages. Oh, I mean, I'm looking for a reason. I was going to say, were you the kid in high school that wore them? Just be like, oh, are you limped into class? People are just like, oh, my God, Joey, what's wrong? I would put them around my wrists mostly, not my legs. Your wrist. Yeah, like, I would like, oh, my wrist is fucked off.
Starting point is 01:19:51 Dude, it would be nothing. I mean, like, any sort of discomfort, like, any Ace Masters. I'm 90% sure that Ace Banages are not, like, a real thing. Like, I know they are, but, like, they're just, like, an aesthetics thing. No, they're, like, tight. Yeah, but what's the fucking point of keeping... Of, like, it's like a soft cast. But it's not, though.
Starting point is 01:20:15 I mean, if you wrap it enough. Ace bandages are stupid. I also think they're supposed to be under other things. And then, like, you have to wrap it. wrap them the right way or stuff. Fucking get out of here, dude. Don't make me have to be a doctor and a kid. Have you ever put, like, boxing wraps on your hands?
Starting point is 01:20:33 No. Oh, man, that feels so good. Taking them off? No, like, I mean, putting them on is a little annoying because it's, like, a whole thing. But when you start going through your fingers, like this part, that doesn't sound. Oh, I brought this up the other day when I was like, when you get a hot towel, how do you guys do it? And I didn't even bring up the part that I do. But, like, I just do my hands.
Starting point is 01:20:50 I don't do my face. But I just do my hands. and then I get in between the webs and I really get her going. I love that this part of my hand. I don't like when other things are touching it, but I like when I touch it. Can I touch it? No, I just said I don't like that.
Starting point is 01:21:04 Why not? How do you hold hands? Interlocking? I'll do it. It's not my favorite because of the feeling of like trapped. I think it's because when I was younger and people would be like, play mercy so I don't like it. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:21:17 I would always avoid it. That's right. Because when people would, you ever do that? Yeah. It was like, play mercy, and they would take your hands and go like this. My fingers, like, I would be like, oh. Bro, you remember those kids back in the day? They'd be like, look, I'm double-jointed.
Starting point is 01:21:30 And they would do this, and their finger would look like a witch's? Yeah. What the fuck is that? I'm double-jointed with my thumb. Ew. That is so gross. Wow, can you put it back on your own or you have to... Oh, it's so loud.
Starting point is 01:21:47 Ew, she's dancing. You can hear it? Yeah, I can hear it. Bro, I thought I thought I was going to look over, and your thumb was going to be on the... ground. Oh, I'd do it with this one too, I guess. I never knew I could do it without pushing it. I'm just, I can't. And then you got to crack it. Oh. I could also move my like tendon underneath my knuckle. Ew. Dude. Why are you so cracky? I was so cool, dude. It's just one of the weird
Starting point is 01:22:17 things about me. I dislocated my thumb once and the palm, this was like an ear and the palm of my hand was pitched up like a tent. It was so disgusting. And my dad just was like, you're fine, and pulled my thumb and it went right back to the place. And I was like, it was crazy. It was terrifying. Imagine my thumb went through my hand.
Starting point is 01:22:40 I'd have a hole in my hand. I remember there was that show on MTV when we were kids called Scard. Oh my God, yeah. And there was one where like the guy, like his finger got like pushed so far back that his bone popped out right here or something like that. disgusting.
Starting point is 01:22:55 You just so disgusting. You feel phantom. It's like phantom. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Had that happen, you fell? Ball?
Starting point is 01:23:02 No, I was in my front yard and my sister kicked a kickball at me and I was like trying to block it and it hit my thumb and it hurt but it didn't hurt that bad. But I was like, ah, and then I looked on my hand and I started screaming and she was just like, you're being a fucking baby. And then I was like, look what you did? And then she lost it because I was so, it was so, it was jarring. I remember as a kid, remember as a kid always wearing sandals? I always has sandals, dude.
Starting point is 01:23:26 Always with like the Velcro top. Yeah. I remember playing kickball with my brothers once. Oh no. And I went to kick and it caught like, if these are my toes, it caught like my foot like this. So I just went. Oh. And like New York City concrete.
Starting point is 01:23:40 I don't know how concrete is elsewhere. Probably the same. Bro. It was like intense grit sandpaper. Yeah. So my fucking toes came out. Fuck. Squeaky, babe.
Starting point is 01:23:53 Yeah. I like the. anticipation of hydrogen peroxide and then the pain is like uh oh you like it's like bubbling up and you're like ho ho ho oxide doesn't hurt it's rubbing alcohol that hurts whichever one hydrogen peroxide you know the one that bubbles it's it's like and then it goes it's like also if it's it's if it's bubbling or itchy it's because it's healing you remember that yeah but when when i put um because i have hydrogen peroxide in my apartment but if i put it on a cut feeling how it feels now is so funny because back then it was like
Starting point is 01:24:26 the worst pain imaginable but now it's not that bad. I fell off a bike once and I skid like this whole part. It was like a little fleshy. Yeah. And I put hydrogen peroxide on it and I had it for the first three seconds. I was like, and then eventually it was just like, whoa.
Starting point is 01:24:42 You started making noise? Like you just can't. I couldn't not make noise. I could see that. Bro, that happened at Keith one time. We were playing basketball and he like was running after a loose ball and just like fell and just like scraped his whole arm. And we were at Josh's house and his mom put like some, I don't know, like anti-bacterial thing on it and then wrapped him with ace bandages. Or whatever, like, gauze or whatever.
Starting point is 01:25:07 And he was like, dude, it's the worst fucking pain ever. Because it's like your whole arm. I don't want to get into the nitty gritty of this because it will make both of you squirm. But I once had gauze stick to a wound. I've had that. Oh, yeah. gross and like I had to remove it yeah it hurts and you pulled it did you skin that brother I I can't even like did you scream there is so much to this story that is removing a lot of
Starting point is 01:25:37 context that I'll tell you guys off air but like it was unbelievably painful like one of the worst pains I've ever experienced in my entire life did you do you cry if I didn't I'd be shocked Yeah. The closest I've come to passing out was because of pain. Because I never understood in movies when people get hurt and they pass out. Oh, they pass out from the pain. Like, what does that even really mean? But I was in so much pain that my vision started turning into the staticy screen. I'm like, oh man, I think I'm going out.
Starting point is 01:26:09 I fought back. But it scared me. You conquered passing out. Yeah, I changed the channel. I did the same thing. I was so embarrassed. I was like at the gym and I was doing incline. press and my nose got itchy so I went to go like this and it like sent my arm back and I don't
Starting point is 01:26:26 even know really know what happened to my arm but I had dislocated my shoulder before so I think like it was just something like that and it like really scared me and it hurt and I screamed bad loud I just oh like that and one of my friends was spotting me at the time and didn't say a word and I stood up and I was like well gonna be out and I and then I started walking towards the exit and then the person at the front desk. I would say hi to them all the time. So I was just kind of like, fuck the pass out. And then I get outside to like the cold air and I like sat on the on the sidewalk. And then I like I almost passed out like I was seeing the white and like I like hit the concrete like mad hard because I was like finally sitting down and then I like relaxed and
Starting point is 01:27:10 I was in a lot of pain with my shoulder. But then a part of me was like I can't even go back in there because I screamed and everyone looked at me and then I just went for the exit like It was time to leave I was like I can't go back in there I'm mortified It was time to go It was bad
Starting point is 01:27:25 I took like a week off I was like I'm not going back I don't want people to remember this But it's so embarrassing Yeah I mean that sounds scary And like the Matrix
Starting point is 01:27:32 It's like Yeah it's a pretty small Like gym Yeah People like Fuck Oh man It's all right
Starting point is 01:27:41 It happens to the best of us Bro you know what I did One time That was hilarious And Dominic was out The gym You know that It looks like a heck
Starting point is 01:27:49 It's not a hex bar but it's like, it's like a bench bar, but it has these things. Like the whole, like this in between and you can hold it like that. And you can hold it like this. Yes, yes, yeah. It like makes it very unstable and you could like bench like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:04 I had never used that before at this time. And I put just a plate on each side, which at the time was like too much. Like I could bench 135 in a regular bench, but I never done with this where it's like shaking. Yeah. So I put it on and I take it off. Domics on the other side of the bench. on the inside of the gym and I'm getting it up and I'm
Starting point is 01:28:24 like oh shit and I didn't put clips on so it just bang bang everyone's looking at me and Dominic from across the gym where do you go dickhead I was like all right it's my second most embarrassing moment
Starting point is 01:28:40 I don't think I've had any bad ones in the gym I have a video of you doing a oh yeah Frank's doing like rope tricep like pull downs or whatever and but he's using his whole body and going like, assar. I mean, I was,
Starting point is 01:28:54 I remember doing that as an obvious joke. I was not like seriously working out that way. But same. Small gym and Frank's screaming going and like, humping the thing. I was like, oh God. I'm a good time anywhere we go. At the gym. At the gym, at the, you know,
Starting point is 01:29:11 during steal the bacon. Dirt steal the bacon. I was probably not a good time during then. I remember getting called like once. What a thing too. It's like, you can get called like you can call like eight kids per class and there's like a hundred kids in there yeah so like that's crazy got played d uh well there you have it folks that's our episode for today frank where can they find you yep yep aunt prisco on instagram it's the frank alvarez you go check it out everywhere uh go follow the show at the basement yard uh on ticot and instagram not as all
Starting point is 01:29:45 see you guys next time

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