The Basement Yard - #557 - An Interesting Love Story

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

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free of charge. BetMGEMGEM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard, Frank, your first Hawaiian of the year, I think. Literally not. I think I've worn other ones. Ah, not paying attention. Yeah, it's all right. It's me. Frank Alvarez here with Aunt, Aunt Prisco, how are you, and Cookie Monster? Oh, I was like, I thought you were calling him Cookie Monster.

No, that would be you because I'm wearing the color blue. You're blue, abadi, abdi, abadi. I'm just wearing a little. I'm just wearing a a blue sweater, you bastard. It's very, and the blue hat. It's very blue. You're wearing a matching hat as well. Yeah, but first of all, if we're getting specific, you're not matching. If you really want to do it.

It's called different tones. I don't care. It doesn't adhere to what I believe matching is. Correct. So it doesn't. It's not real. Correct. But I am matching quite nicely.

And aunt said, it's because I compliment that. Ant said right before we started recording, you looked at me and he goes, very aesthetically pleasing outfit you're wearing. Nice. Yeah, it was nice. You're a cookie monster. So, when you get a compliment. What's wrong with being cookie monster? When you get a great member of the Sesame Street game. You're trying to make fun of me. Let's get that out of the way too. I'm trying to acknowledge that you are. And it gives you a compliment. And instead of paying that forward the good energy, you're like, I'm going to take a big, steamy, corny poop on Joe's head. See, why did you do that? You knew what you were doing by bringing up the corn.

Fecal matter. Oh. Needed be so fucking abhorrent and disgusting. Listen, I don't, I'm not the one who doesn't digest corn. Actually, I am. Apparently the world is. I didn't decide that as my point. That was God.

The issue is not with the corn digestion part of it. Whatever, God. Yeah. I love how you did that. That was very nice. Every God. Cookie Monster, though. There's no issue.

Like, you're tying something negative to being called Cookie Monster. What's wrong with that? I was paying attention to the tone, but we don't have to. I'll try it again. Here's what I said. I'm here with Cookie Monster. I didn't go, I'm here with Cookie Monster. I mean, we know.

We know you. I'm here with Cookie Monster! That would be even weirder. Why? I don't know. That was terrifying. Fuck you. You wouldn't get excited to see Cookie Monster.

I am 34. Some parts of life. I'll tell you this. With you. Cookie Monster? Whatever? I'm telling you this right now. Now, if Big Bird walked in here, I'd be fucking scared.

Bro, a legitimately big bird. Huge. The biggest fucking bird. A big ass bird. And I think what makes Big Bird look bigger, because it might be one of those things where, like, it's, she, he, she. I'm not quite sure what Big Bird's pronouns are. Is so big. But it looks bigger because the fucking, what's it called?

Bro, that's huge. It's a fucking big ass bird, dude. Huge. dude let's get the height can we get the height can we get the measurements what's the actual measurements of big what's is 40 i mean gotta be like seven feet tall eight two dude eight two big bird is eight dude see what i'm saying big bird is crazy that's a big ass bird dude fucking web and yama couldn't stop big bird oh probably could he probably could probably we don't know you know not just speaking of god you're speaking of his god you are the biggest rider for wemby

bro big bird is fucking back in webbing yama down Flying in the air and dunking on his French head. Is he French? Yeah. God. Quite French. Okay. I'm taking Big Bird in a basketball game.

Obviously, he isn't going to beat an actual basketball star. But, like, probably has a jump, a jumper. Wait. He's got crazy eyes, dude. Go back to the Big Bird, like, the anatomy of Big Bird. Big Bird do be playing basketball. Is Big Bird? Ballin up. What could you possibly have looked up at that moment? Big Bird playing basketball.

He was he was dunking with Elmo. See? Oh, see. Elmo's like a little bitch. Elmo, oh, isn't he? I don't like that. I don't like that. Isn't he small? I definitely is small, but I don't like the big bird works. But also how because of the arm? Like, he moves another arm. Yo, bro. First of all, this is off Reddit, so take it with a fucking dumb trunk of salt. I think it's pretty accurate. Could be. I mean, is it? Is Big Bird's right arm not moving ever? I guess, well, it looks like it's on a dual swing here. There's a pulley system of sorts going on inside this big bird. I think it has to work like this.

The person in the custom's not eight foot. Yeah, duh. Yeah, but I imagine it would be something, don't you dare point your fingers at me. I didn't point. I kind of did one of those. I assumed it was going to be hands, hands, feet, feet, and then the mouth is on like a jaw system. Like a jaw system. so it talks with me.

Yeah, I don't know. That would make the most sense. Or I thought that this dude would just be on stilts in there. But yo, go back to the Google. Okay. Well, the other... The one of Big Bird, though. Yeah, dude.

There was a picture of him standing next to a man. If you exit out of that. Exit out of what? The picture, like, click the X. There's a picture of him standing next to a man. Where is it? Down. To the right.

Where was it? No, never mind. Never mind. I can't find it. I don't know. fucking disappeared. Big Bird is a giant ass bird. I love Elmo though. Why do you call Elmo a bitch? He's small. He's not eight foot two. Yeah. That in that regard, little. I never really got into Sesame Street. It was not something that was ever on in my house, to be honest. It wasn't on, but like,

it was one of those brands that just like went further than the show. I'm sure I watched it as a little kid, but like I feel like I saw more of Sesame Street characters and never watched the actual, like, program. Did you learn? from TV at all? Like, you know how that's like, it's meant to teach you stuff? Brother, there was shit I took from Magic School Busch. A hundred percent. Magic School Bucks. We all had some Magic School Bucks. We all had some magic school bucks. I, uh, I knew what blood vessels were because of that. Yeah, I remember when they like in the stomach. Not blood vessels. What's the thing? No, white blood, like white blood cells.

Oh, blood cells. Yeah. Yeah. And like white blood cell, red blood cell. Yeah. I learned from Osmosis Jones. That's a good one too. That's a good one, but also that movie's filthy disgusting. Yeah. Bill Murray's like sneezing up a storm. Is it Bill Murray or Chris Elliott? It's Bill Murray. Okay. Disgusting. What was he dying from? All of it.

Fucking sneezing. And also, I remember specifically the only reason why I know what this thing is called because of Osmosis Jones, where it's like, oh, you got to head to the uvula. And he's like, what's that? And he's like, it's a little dangly thing. And he goes, in his boxer shorts. And he turns the car to go towards the cock. And then he's like, no.

It's in his throat. Oh, I prefer the, uh, that's the story. The mid-2000s masterpiece monster house, the joke that they made. What's monster house? It was like a haunted house movie with like animated kids that look, they had like the issue where like they look like they're from the polar express. It's terrifying. But it was like, oh, it's the house is uvula.

And he's like, I thought it was a boy. He's thinking vulva. Vulva. I mean, a very common mistake that people are. What's the vulva, Frank? Tell me what a vulva is. Uh, a German car. Volvo.

Is that German even? Are they German? But what's a vulva? Tell us. It's in the vaginal. Is it in? It's at the house. I don't know what room it is, but it's in, it's on the property.

If you had to, let's all guess what the vulva is. You know what's funny is one of the first episodes we did. Hey, let's guess what the vulva is. All right. Sorry. Let's get on track here. Here's a good try. Yeah.

It's one of the, like, Here we go. Well, why don't you start? Well, I'm hosting. Do you know? Honestly, do you know? Of course. So then tell us.

Everyone knows what that is, Frankie. You have to say it. Yeah, nice try. I will be 100% honest if I knew it or not. Tell us what it is. No, that's not what we're doing. We do it, do it. We're all going to say what we think it is.

All right, at the same time, we're all going to say. No, we're not. Yes, we are. Frankie, hot seat, hot seat, hot seat. Yeah, why am I put on the hot seat here? I'm the co-host. Exactly. And I'm asking you. the question. Who else is going to answer? He owns the company. He's pulling that card on me.

You saw that? Not how that works. I think that's exactly how it works. If you don't want to answer, you don't have to. I think I will answer, but I'm not going to answer. Okay, moving on. What else we have to talk about? Well, what do you think the Volvo is? Frank, we're asking you. Now I don't think you actually know what it is. If you had to guess. I'm just asking you to guess. I think I'm not, you know what? I'm not quite sure. I am not. And it is that he's right. You know what? Actually, evidently, I am not quite there. I am not there.

I know it's... What do you know about it? I know the general area. Down. Down in the... Like, I can give you the... I can narrow it down to like a... A square meter.

A square. That's big. A big meter. Yeah. A square foot. He's already saying words like inside and in, so... Well, I think that there is an opening. On a woman?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we know that. Duh. Yeah, yeah. These, like, these specific... Just point. Point. Yeah.

Dead center or... Yeah. I mean... Right. Wow. Wow. Okay, good. You have a guess?

No, no. No, no. You're doing a hooking thing. No, no, I was trying to, like, mimic. You were trying to mimic. So, vulva. Yeah. It's up.

Might be thinking labia. Right. Okay. What's the labia? That's the outside thing, I think. The outside thing I think is something. He's looking up. He's looking up.

He's cheating. He's cheating. He's cheating. He's cheating. He's cheating. I'm absolutely not. He's cheating. I would look up the external genitalia,

encompassing all visible parts between the legs, including the Monce pubis, labia majora, labia manora, clitoris, vaginal opening, urethal. opening. You think I would look that up? I knew all that. That's the Volvo. That's the whole thing. Did you say menorah back there? Yeah, I think just menorah and like majora. Majora. Majora menorah. But the menorah, the Jewish not in the, the Jewish. But how is that not, how is there not a

comparable like, I think there's a different spelling and a just different thing? Well, yeah, I didn't. Yeah, I didn't think there was eight candles down there. Yep. I, I don't think there is. But I knew all that. I just wanted to make sure that the verbiage I was putting out was a hundred percent accurate. It's to, I don't like to say things here, unless I'm like really confident. Right. So is it inside or outside? It's the collection. It's the binder of Pokemon cards.

You get what I'm saying? Like, yeah, you might have a Lugia. You might have an Ente. You might have a, you know, a resheram in there. But the whole binder is the Volvo. Frankie doesn't know Volvo. I mean, you don't know Fulfa. Stop writing stuff down, like you're trying to play gotcha.

And the labia, you didn't really give a good one on that. I mean, I knew it was kind of the external. He kept saying, inside and in. I mean, what is, what is outside if not an inside from outside? You know what I'm saying? He's got a point with that. I'm going to have a nosebleed. Thinking about how that sense breaks down.

How do we get here from Sesame Street, dude? Mr. Anatomy boy. Mr. Anatomy boy. I don't get it. You have an issue with Elmo. You have an issue with Cookie Monster. I guess you're only cool with. Big Bird?

No. I'm saying I didn't really watch that. Yeah, I didn't watch it much either. I did love Snuffaloficus, though. There was a VHS tape that me and my siblings used to watch that it was called like We Sing or something. And it was one of those things where it was like head, shoulders, knees, and toes. Like that type of vibe.

But it was like almost animatronic or something in a way. Was it with, yo, I am going to. I think it was a movie. though I don't know there was like one of those tapes that we had to a similar thing but it was about like littering in the ocean and it was like an animatronic starfish and fish and otters and shit like that yeah and like it's so like ingrained in my mind that I had they had all those tapes back then where it was just like cleaning up and using the potty for kids yeah yeah and like you know that time yeah who's the lady on the couch big comfy couch big comfy couch what was her big comfy couch um um I just remember her body was the clock. You fucked with that. She got up there, dude. Yeah, she was limber.

She was like, it's six o'clock. Or no, she'd be like, it's five o'clock. One leg was over here. One leg was over there. Yeah, dude. And like, it went around to get there. She's like making a return. What?

Big Comfy Couch is like on its way back. Really? Did you watch Big Comfy Couch? I got to see. I was trying to keep up with what you guys were saying. I'll listen to the name. If you don't know it, you definitely don't. You definitely.

It was a giant comfort. couch and she sat on it. And she would like, like dust bunnies would pop out of it. Yes, dust bunnies. You're here. Yeah.

With the nose? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I've seen a little of it. I had a crush on her in like kindergarten. Well, when you see her doing splits like that in kindergarten, it's waking you up. I wasn't thinking about it.

Oh, okay. I think any girl also. Not me, but I could see why someone would have that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I probably had a crush on like everyone. To be fair. A big couch was a big one.

That was like our generation's lamb chop. Right. Because Lamb Chop was, I think, the 80s, and it was, like, with the curly red-headed woman. Yeah. And it was Lamb Chop. We talked about this a little bit before, and I didn't bring it up, but you know the puppet Alf? Yeah, of course. Alph.

Scared the shit out of me. I was, like, terrified of that. No. Alien life form is what it's short for. It's the one with the nose. They made, like, shows about it in the 80s and shit. Oh, I've seen it, but I never watched this at all. Why does that scare you?

Yeah. What are you talking about? Look at it. Look at this. I don't really like it. It looks like a hairy pig. Puppets and animatronics from the 80s and 90s are fucking rad. Why? Like, remember that show dinosaurs?

Are puppets a thing anymore? Like, do people have puppets? Like, you got puppets for your kids? We got puppets. Yeah, we do have puppets. We got puppets. I have some, I have lamb chop, uh, uh, hush puppy and whatever the other one's name is. Um, like, I have them.

Why does that bother you that much? I don't know, it's just gross. But like, puppets are still a thing. Like, there are books now that have, like, puppets built into them and shit like that. Books with puppets. Yeah. And they're not like super and like crazy ones.

But you can go, you know how like Christmas Village around Brian Park during the holiday season? They got puppets. There's one stand that you can go and just buy puppets. Dude, speaking of puppets, how funny is it that like when we watch movies or TV shows about the olden days,

the entire town would gather around a little shack. and someone would put on a show with puppets and everyone was like, this is fucking fire. You know how trash life must have been? Ass. Like, you're excited. Like, the puppet show is coming to terror. Yeah, that's crazy.

And I'm going to watch a little wooden puppet walk across a plank. Yeah, and it's like, oh, and there would be like the king is like a puppet and then he gets embarrassed and then the person who wrote the play gets killed. Well, it's because... Tales all this time.

And they were fucking going back to their house and dying by scurvy. Yeah. You know, like, this shit wasn't cool, dude. think about what was sex like back then because we're not showering i mean they're they're they're they were bathing joey they were bathing i think they're bathing and like they're getting like a three-day old bucket of water and they're being like ha ha ha ha yeah i mean i i imagine that it was like game of thrones they're banging yeah i mean that's what you know that's a good because isn't there that

the like where did we go that one time that the museum of sex or something like that right and they went through, like, wasn't there a portion of it that, like, went through, like, old-timey sex? Like, not, like, showing you, like, this is how the pilgrims were banging. Old-timey sex. It must suck, dude. Oh, my God, pilgrims banging each other is gross to think about. I mean, because of... Must have taken an hour to get all that off.

All the buckles. You got a buckle on your head, buddy. All the buckles. Let me undo this. Yeah. And let my hair down. You know, like... And it's just a white wig.

Can you imagine, like, with... You know, like, it's... movies where it's like, let me take your pants off. And the girl like unbuckles your pants off. So like imagine she's like, let me take your hat off and just unbuckling your hat and you're getting horny because you're, well, do they have any movies or anything like about like love in those times? I guess like love, withering heights. Which by the way, have you seen it? Withering heights. No, I haven't seen it. I saw it. The one with Margo Robby and, speaking of a big bird, Jacob Allerty. Jacob Alorty and Margo Robbie. I watched it. I get the

overall, like, love and the thing. However, there's a curveball in there out of nowhere. And I'm like, is that necessary? Which was... Do you want to know? I'll just... Spoiler. Spoiler for Weather or Hight. I am not going to be anytime soon watching it. I will spoil Wuthering Heights for you guys, whatever. But it's a love story, right? Margot Robbie and Jacob All right. I think I know the general gist of it. What's your understanding? Like, they were like, he was, like adopted and like they were raised by the same family. He was like a poor kid. Yeah.

And they like found him. Yeah, exactly. And they were just like, come on, come live with us. And it's like his transition to like live amongst the royals or something like that. And then they like fall in love because he's the scrappy little street rat. So it's Aladdin? Is it Aladdin? No, no.

So, yeah, he's just like a poor kid or whatever. And then he like finds his family. So he's staying with them. But in the beginning of the movie, it's Jacob Belority, but he's all fucked up. He's got long hair. His beard's all fucked up. and he's like, you sweaty and shit and whatever. And him and the girl clearly have some sort of rapport, but whatever.

He, they're secretly, they're both kind of in love with each other, but they don't really know and whatever. The girl is going to marry some royal guy who's in town now. Gotcha. It helps at that. Like a snobby British guy? He might have been British. I think they were all British in the movie, aren't they? Could be.

He just, no, no, he's going to be, I'm a marrying. He wasn't, he didn't sound like that, but there was a lot of rain in this movie. The posters had a lot of liquid Yeah, it was raining like hell It was a lot of moisture on the posters They kissed each other a couple times But it's like she needs to marry this guy Because they need to level up

You know what I'm saying? Like you can't, you're fucking poor bro And you smell like the horses So that was kind of like the vibe You let me know what side you're on I guess No no no I'm just saying like this is this is the Is she saying that like yo I don't want you You stinky fuck?

Basically she's not saying you stinky fuck She's being like bro I gotta like live my life You know like And he's so he overhear hears that she's going to marry this guy gets tight, bounces. He does. Yeah, he takes a horse. He's just like, yo, I'm out.

He's like, I'm dipping. Where's he going? Fuck a, fuck a final. He disappears into the mist. You watch that. That was the other thing. Mad mist in this movie. Misty.

Mad Misty. Misty. Mides off into the mist. Now she's pissed. Where's my guy? Question? Any lanterns? Yeah.

Okay. And candles and shit. Okay. And like ruins. There's like ruins around. Yeah. Still don't understand how they had candles. So currently her, the person she was pursuing,

ran off, Not Jacob Allo. She wasn't pursuing him. No. No, he was just like, you're gonna do what? You're gonna get married.

You're gonna get married and not marry me because I just stink a little? Yeah. And then he rides off because he's like, yo, whatever. I stink for sure. But like, fuck.

But love. But like when they found him, he didn't like start to smell better because he was like living with a rich family now? He was. He was. He was. But they're like not.

You can't ever watch this stink of like life off. You know what I mean? Certain stinks follow you. He worked, I guess in their like stable or something. I'm getting detailed. wrong here stable boy so then he well it's horse stink then he dips right so she marries this guy blah blah blah she's having a good time or whatever she's pissed because she's like i can't be this guy left me and

you know by myself he's going to come back at first she was distraught she was sitting on the edge of a mountain and she's like no he's going to come back delusional wait waiting for him he disappears into the mist she thinks that she's going to wait on a mountain for him yeah yeah she's like famously no mist on top of mountains snow right it's like a cliff oh so you should have specified A cloud could get up there. But she's up there on the side of this cliff, and she's telling, like, the other maid, she's like, he's going to come back.

He's just fucking with me. Like, he'll be back, don't worry. He's just a little dramatic. Doesn't come back for years. Years. How long? Years. Does he come back still stinking?

Let me come, let me get to that. That's not how the story would go, I don't think. Dude pulls up rich and hot. Yeah. Right? Sounds like he found a genie. So he pulls up rich and hot. He disappeared.

He got his life together. I don't know what the fuck he did. He probably like, you know, but he came back now he's rich and hot you all be honest this really does sound like a lot than now i'm saying like he comes back like prince ali fabulous he ali abba is there a pet is there a cat there's no cat any animals no animals so hold on hold on kind of an animal i'll let you know i'll get there is he an animal a stinky animal gonna talk so he gets back right and now he's rich and she's like, oh, wow, you look so good or whatever.

And then obviously they have certain conversations on the side. How long is this movie? This is all happening in two hours? Yeah, dude. If you watch a movie, there's a plot, my G. So then they start having conversations, and then he's like, you know, he wants her, he wants to be with her type thing and she doesn't want to. Now I've got to remember if I remember this correctly.

Then he decides, so let's just fast forward through some mishmosh here. He decides, okay, there's another girl. Right? Who's like, I think that dude's sister or some shit, but she like lives in the house that that dude lives in or something. So he's like, that I'm going to marry her. Yeah. Just to piss off this girl, to piss off Margo Robbie.

Oh, boy. So now it's this type of thing, right? However, this is where the wretch comes into the movie. And I'm like, kind of a nest. Tells her the girl, right? Not Margo Robbie. He tells her. He goes, I'm going to marry you.

and all of this is just to piss her off. It's just to get her mad. Okay. And by the way, I'm gonna, we're gonna fuck, but we're gonna fuck like demons. Like, I'm gonna be rough. Stinky fucking. Yeah, he's not stinky anymore.

I mean, again, certain stinks of life stay with you forever. If you say so. You're still a stinky Astoria alleyway boy. I'll take it. For the rest of your fucking life, no matter how many fucking blue sweaters you wear. Sorry, that was unnecessary. That was.

That was that fair. I'm sorry. Fuck. So anyway. So he says this to demon fucker. No, he says to the girl. He's like, yo, we're going to get married. I'm just getting like her pissed off. And we're going to, I'm going to be rough with you. That type of thing, right?

And what does she say? She's like, she's kind of like under the spell. She's like, whatever you say, Jacob, Lordy, now you're rich and hot. I mean, and he's also tall as hell. Yeah, yeah. You never, it was like tall, stinky and rich. Crazy combination. I mean.

Wait, how does he get rich? Did they ever specify how he no longer became? They may have. I was kind of in and out. They do breeze over that, though. Where he's just like, oh, shipping or something like that. Probably, yeah, import, export. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

Logistics, private equity. Yeah. Yeah, social media. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then they start showing, they start showing stuff. What do you mean showing stuff? Like sex? Yeah, like sometimes it would be like he would sprawl her out on the table

and then the maid would go walk in. He'd be like, it's okay, you can stay and watch. And we're like, yeah, what? He would like chain her up. He would like this type of shit. I thought Wuthering Heights was not, Bro. 50 Shades of Grey.

I thought it was like a romance. This just sounds like, bro, chain fucking demons. Then at one point. In the miss. Shut up, Frank. Shut the hell up. Get him.

Then at one point, Margot Robbie gets sick. The maid over there comes back because she's like, I got to let this guy know. She walks in the door. He's sitting over here with an apple. Like you with a knife with the apple

Oh I think that was a private conversation Or a Patreon conversation Was it? Whatever So he's like eating an apple with a knife That type of shit The girl who he like married or I don't even know What they got married Demon fucked

Yeah She's in a in a She's got like a chain And she's chained up to like the fireplace And she's on all fours like a dog And she's like barking And the lady's like What the fuck is going on in here?

Why are you so? pumped. I don't know. But like, it's like, I'm like, what the fuck is this? So Margarabi walks in, sees Jacob. It's not Margarabi. It's her maid. But I thought you said his maid walked in and she was, he was just like, oh, you can watch. This is cool. Different maid, I think. How many maids are these fucking people have? I don't know. It was back then. It's like the 1800s. Yeah. Many a maid. So she's, so then she's on all fours is barking like a dog and he's like a legit barking like a dog. Yes. And like, that was the whole point of that. It was like a, you know, I've got her under this spell type of thing.

Whatever. He finds out Margarabi's six. He finds out Margarabi sick. So now he's like, what the fuck? She's dying and shit. He lets her off the leash. I think she was pregnant at one point. I'm fucking this shit all the way up. Oh, she was pregnant. She gets sick. Oh, and the baby is this dudes. It's Jacob Allorty's.

Wait, they did sex? They fucked each other. They did stinky sex. Yeah, they did. And I think it was his baby. Oh, no, it wasn't his baby. You got to figure this stuff. Hold on. I got it. It wasn't his baby. He thought it was and she's like, it's not yours. He was tight. How do they know that back then? How?

Well, she knew that, like, the timing. That's fair. Yeah. So she checked her vulva. She did. She got a pap smear. I don't know. Yeah, I know.

But then he's, so then she's like, yo, she tells him like, yo, she's fucking dying. Like, you know, like, whatever. Oh, that's when he, like, was like, I'm going to get back at this girl because he found out she was pregnant with that dude. And he was like, it's not mine. Fuck you for life. I'm going to have my girl bark like a dog. Exactly. That was the payback.

Natural payback. I don't know. Yeah. If anyone ever get your. the love of your life ever gets pregnant, you just find someone adjacent to her and turn her to her a dog. For the record, I haven't watched this movie.

I imagine that there's points to all this that you are just completely skipping. I don't know that that's true to be honest. I can only imagine. I believe it was directed by Emerald Fennell. And like, Emerald Fennell sounds like an herb. Well,

fennel is, it's a plant. And it's green. And yeah. I don't think there's any dogs in a last. And no no no but hold on there's birds there's a tiger so the so the ending is the beautiful part where she's dying from like sepsis this bitch is green or like white she's like laying out the irony now she stinks she's dying in her bed yeah and he he's trying to get there to see her before she dies and uh spoiler doesn't and she doesn't die she no he doesn't make it she dies. Oh, you just crazy, you're spoiling at like four-month-old movie. I said, spoiler.

No, he's doing fine. He's doing fine. So you are fans like us. I'm fully in. I said, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. We're talking about it. Yeah, but you don't want people to stop watching. It's far too late now.

I'm fully in. So then he doesn't make it. And then he like gets in her fucking face, her dead face. She's so dead at this point? How did it? Dead, like white. So she really stinks. Yeah, probably.

Oh, she's not decomposing. She like just died. I mean, in theory, she is decomposed in the minute she dies. You're obsessed with stink. A little bit. And then he says something like, uh, like he wants her to come back and like just like, you know,

because they were like, it was very tumultuous the entire time. And it's like, I want you to like piss me off or whatever like it. Just fucking stink for me. No. Whatever. But that was the whole love story. But the whole wrench.

And then, and then whatever. That movie kind of ends like there. Like there's not like a. Was the, was the girl stole a dog back at the house. She still. She's still on her leash in front of the fire.

The love of his life just dies. And she was pregnant. I believe miscarried at the same time. Yikes. That's sad. The guy who she married is like outside. And he was actually outside when Jacob Lurie pulled up. And he was like, you don't want to go in there. She's dead.

He was like, yo, she's dead in there. And he's like, I'm going in. I need to know the other actors in this movie. Like, those are the two I know. Owen Cooper's in it for a bit. He's like the young. The young kid. Yeah, the young kid.

Oh, he plays like. the young stinky kid. Yeah. Yeah. Young stinky Jacob Allerty. That's the credit. Yeah. At the end of the movie,

young stinky Jacob Allerty, Owen Cooper, congratulations. Okay. All right. I mean, I know that you've butchered that to the point

where people that are fans of the actual content are going to fucking smoke you. Or they're going to love it. Like, I feel like I did it kind of like honestly, I don't see why we can't have,

here's what we should do. We should have an episode where we just watch, crazy out there movies and just try to our fucking best of our ability to review them or like not even review summarize them that's what you just did i'm saying like if we did a whole like patreon episode doing that or something like that because of one of those movies because like if i were to sit you in front of like requiem for a dream and just be like what's that movie about and just see what you say or like

eraser head just like the weirder movies that are out there yeah not that requiem's weird it's a little more dark but okay so Here, I'm going to respond. I'm going to just kind of repeat back to you what you told me. After these messages. After those messages from our sponsors. We do have some sponsors. The first one being Zock Doc.

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because they got to pay. So if you just go do it directly on the website, the browser, yeah, we're talking, you know, Netscape talk like it's freaking 1999. You can go, half an ardeans doesn't even know what Netscape is. Just go on a web browser. Okay, what I got to spell it out for you? Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you so much. We love you. We appreciate you. it. I'm going to summarize the movie and you just tell me if I'm right or if I'm wrong. Margot Robbie lives with a rich family. She finds, she finds a stinky little British boy. No, she's not rich. She's like middle class. That's why she's trying to level up. Oh, okay. Oh, by the way, a detail I forgot to mention. Dad hammered 24-7. All the all the drunk, all the

times. Madhammer. Who plays the dad? I don't know. A good drunk acting is hard to do. Yeah. So, like, I can imagine, like, that would be impressive. You know who played a great drunk? Nick Nulte. Killed me in Warrior. Oh, my God. Yeah, he also, like, I think he might actually just be drunk. Nick Nolte?

Yeah. I don't know. Mr. Nolte, if you're alive. Well, if you're not alive. I hope everything is all right. I don't know where I'm getting at. If you walked into, like, your friend invited you over, and you walk into their house and their partner is just on a leash.

You'd be like, like, they invited you for. dinner and they're just, oh yeah. Yeah, that would be, I think, I would, I mean, I would just say something. Right. You have to address it. I'd be like, what the fuck is this? Like, if it was like a, ha ha, we're just joking around. Okay.

But if it's like a, no, like, this is seriously what I'm into. I might need to remove myself. Like, just be like, all right, I'm out. I'm not, I'm not, that's how they got the ditty people because the ditty people didn't say anything. I see. I would, um, I would have some questions. Oh, what's that about?

You would want to know the ins and outs of their leash play? Well, I also think that it's a little disrespectful if you're going to do that. If you're going to do some kink stuff in front of company that doesn't know, I think that's kind of fucked. So let's do one in the same vein. If you go over to someone's house and them and their couple, like, it's just like, oh, they wear a diaper. I got to go change them. I'll be right back. Oh, man.

Just go. Like, don't tell me. Yeah, and like, I personally, I personally, I'm just going. From what I've learned from doing OPL is that people that are in the king communities think that it's a bad thing if you're just going to like do stuff like that in front of people that have no idea what's going on. Like you shouldn't do that. I mean, that invites the sideways looks, you know, like. Well, yeah, that's why I'd be like, what is she doing? Yeah, we don't need all this.

Yeah. We don't need all this on the, like, you can do this in your own time. Let's go up right. I don't have to come over. Let's go up right. Or just like, give me a precursor. here. Just like, hey, just like, you know, my wife and she's a dog. And I'll be like, okay, is that like a, yeah. I would, I would, I would kindly, if that were the case,

I would just be like, all right, I don't need to come over. I don't, I'm okay. If you can't turn off the dog for an hour and a half that I can come over and hang out for dinner or something. I can hang out with the dog. Yeah. With your wife dog. Brother, you cannot. Why? You will not be able to. Why? What am I going to do? You will be very uncomfortable. Oh, yeah. I'll be fine. Yeah, as long as they don't ask me to petter or him. Petter. Yeah, like a dog. And it depends what's happening at dinner.

Like if a food bowl comes out, that's when I'd be like, oh, man. Brother, the leash is out. What do you mean if a food bowl comes out? They're there. They're at the fucking, you know, they're at the park. I mean, I'm not going to leave. What am I? That's, I would just say, hey, respectfully, I don't feel comfortable with this.

You guys kind of doing this on display. If it's what you do in your own time, that's fine. It's just not for me to be around. Sure. I would just have questions. It's like, all right, if you're going to put it out here, I'm going to ask. Yeah, let's let's go. I mean, but that's what they want.

They wanted it to be like, then they get back and it was just like, you left, you are a bad doggy. Yeah, right. And they were like, that's what they, that you're playing into their game. You're fucking helping with the kink. Because then they're going to be like, Joey thought I was a bad doggy. Well, I didn't say that. I was just asking like, oh, what's going on? Like, is this a joke or whatever?

And if it's real, and they're like, oh, yeah, this is, uh, you know, This is my wife. She likes to be a dog. What would you do if they then full on pissed on the carpet? If she ripped a pee? Like on a wee-wee-ped. Yeah, I mean, I would, I mean, what is she naked? Not in their pants.

She peed her pants. Yeah. You're there, brother. Ask your questions. I feel like a skirt scenario probably make more sense. Oh, I don't. I mean, I feel like nudity is definitely crossing a line. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy.

That's why I said pants on. But they're like, So she like has a oopsie. They make an oopsie. Right. You know. Yeah. I mean, I would definitely.

You went in the house. I would definitely just be like, yeah, this is like very, uh, there's a lot going on here, sir. Like this is. You sound like inconsiderate guess is what you sound like, Frankie. I would say, brother, if that makes me an inconsiderate guest, no problem. I do think it's a little inconsiderate of the host. No, of course. To not give someone a precursor of like.

Bro, if I went over to your house and then your fucking partners, they are just like tied up. And it's just like, yeah, it's just what we do. I'd be like, why would you even ask me to come over? Yeah, this is not the time. Like, why? Like, exactly. Like, that would be like, you wanted me to see this. Weird.

It'd be such a funny prank, too, to poll, like, invite you guys for dinner. And just one of your friends is doing that. It's like, it's all a bit would be great. I mean, at this point, if it was one of my friends, I would certainly speak up. I honestly, like, it would need to be someone I know so well that, like, if they told, me it was a joke, I'd be like, yeah, I know it's a joke. Because like, if it was someone that I was like teetering on like, I don't know if this could be a joke or not, that's way worse. How would you feel if I told you that like, I'm actually into it? Like, we do it. Good for you.

I would be so supportive of you and your king. Who's on the leash? Who do you think? It's him, right? It's him. 100%. It's dumb play. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. I mean, No, seriously, like I would make it a point to be like over the top supportive. So like there was no room for like he's judging me. I would legitimately be supportive of whatever that would be for you. But if you came over. But if I came over and it was in the room, I would have to talk with you and just be like, it. Crazy.

That's my fucking life. I'm talking about like it being the display. Okay. Like you'd be like chill. I would just be like, dude, you didn't need to do this while I was here. I told you that, right? If I told you that, I'm like, yeah, we're turning into this thing, whatever. And then one time you came over and like, it was dog time.

I mean, I would hope that you would be able to schedule dog time around your fucking visitors. Yeah, but. Yeah. It's not nap time for a child. You're consenting adults. You can move dog time. Sometimes you just got to bark, man. Yeah, sometimes it's like, it just takes over you.

It's just, you know, the bark is bigger than the bite. You know? Yeah. The bark is in you forever. That's one of those stinks you can't get rid of. Yeah, it feels like my fault, my bed. What would you do if, like, another universe, you're going on dates with people? And they're like, I'm a reformed doggy.

Reformed? Like, I used to be into, like, doggy kingplay. I don't do that anymore. First of all, is this a first date? Yeah. This is an electric first date. Yeah. This is what I'm looking for.

Yeah. I mean, we would have tons of questions. I would be like, yo, what are we talking about here? That wouldn't be like an immediate like, all right, respectfully, I'm bowing out. Oh, why? Come on. Personally, I'm imagining this person is fucking shitting on the sidewalk and stuff like that. You go right to defecation.

There's a lot more. The pup is like you jump over stuff. You like to wear a collar. Never. I think it just. Remember girls wore chokers? What's the difference? Yeah.

I remember. I remember. I remember. very much so remember Julia Stiles trust me Chokers were the She had hundreds of those dude Any fucking premiere she was in

Do you remember the black ones that were like Kind of like lace it looked like It was like this yeah Julia style Bro pull up any picture of Julia styles from the mid 2000s And I can almost guarantee she had one of those on I like I liked them I remember they made them for like ankles too Did they?

Yeah Whenever girls wore those in like middle school I was like I kind of like this All pictures of of not. Not in a single one. I mean, there's a necklace. Just type in choker.

I don't know if that's what we should be putting out there. Is what those called chokers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. You don't got to put it in. That's that right. Josh was never sure. Yeah, something like that.

Honestly, even when the search is specific, still not there. Yeah. So I don't know. I feel like I've seen so many. I'm wrong. You can't get the, you can't get the Julius Stuyler out of your brain. I guess so. Yeah.

I saw her in that one movie. I was just like, that's every picture now. Save the Last Dance. There was a movie she did that was called, I think it was called like, was it misery. Ten Things I Hate About You? No, there was another one where she like played like a bad kid. I think it was 10 Things I hate about you. No, no, no, there was another one. Fuck, I think it was called Misery.

Not to confuse it with the Kathy Bates. I mean, I'm not going to ask you to look up Julius Diles filmography, but like I remember it was always on like RCS at the time. No, we're past that. But so you go on a date and someone's like, oh, I used to be into Pup play. Not that they are currently, but they're, you know. But like, if they're due, if it got to the point where they're like, I had to back out of it, I'd be like, it got bad, dude. Or maybe they're just not into it anymore.

Maybe the Pup left. The Pup. The Pup ran off. What happened? Like, I feel like if you're committing to Pup play, you know you're in for the whole shebang. You think it's a lifelong thing? I imagine, like, I'm sure you could grow out of it, sure.

But, like, what happened at the thing? that person's life, in that person's life, that made them go, I'm wiping my paws with this one. I'm out. Well, dogs age faster. So maybe, you know, just get out of it faster. You get too big for the yard. Yeah. I think that maybe it was like something.

Maybe what if she was just indulging in what her partner at the time was into? Like, he was really into pup play. So she was like, all right, I'll pop it up. It's just, it's a very strange thing to me. I would respect that crazy. If she was like, I wasn't really. the OG pup. I respect people having their thing wholeheartedly.

I think like there's a level for it that personally I would not be able to look past. It would just be too, it's too weird of a thing for me and weird and not a non-disc respectful sense. That like it would just be hard for me to not. Like I'm an overthinker. You know I'm an overthinker. It would be hard for me to not look past that. Excuse me.

Does it matter if she was a cat instead of a pub? Oh, good question. That's a really great question. it would almost be worse if she's a cat I think because cats have more like licking of themselves and hairball things

and litter boxes you say wait you're saying the cat's worse I think it's a little deeper in there you know okay it would be a wonderful conversation yeah

have you guys talk to a former puppy on the on OPL yeah and oh no they were a current they were barking it up uh no it's it's more of like

there's masks. We looked them up once on the show. I remember. I remember the masks. Yes. I remember when we looked up those masks. See, wear the masks.

Not cheap. No, bro, it's leather. Artisan artwork. Yeah, I mean, it's tough. Artisan crafted doggy masks.

There's a market for sure. Listen, all the power to. I also would say, what I was going to say is like, if she was like, I wasn't the OG pup,

my partner at the time was really into it. So I indulged. I'd be like, let's fire. It's cool. I hear what you're saying. Yes, sure, fine.

But if they were to say, like, I bowed out. Even if she hung up the pause? I would be like, why? Why did she hang up to pause? Why are you no longer? Oh, she's like, I just wasn't that into it. Like, I was like into it for him. Yeah, and then they broke up and now you're not into it.

But like, yeah. Like, that gets to a breaking point. Does that, like, am I making sense by saying that? Like, what gets to a breaking point? If you get to the point where it's like, I'm just, I wasn't that into it. It's like, all right, something happened or almost happened. The breakup. To put you into that breakup.

It was like, I'm no longer with the pup guy, and I don't need the pup. Yeah. I got the mask just in case. Just because she nibbled a little bit in the pub. Doesn't mean she went full pup. I mean, maybe she went full pup. Maybe she did.

First of all, I would respect that. I actually wouldn't respect just being just one foot in, one foot out of the pup. You're going to pop or you're going to knock in a pup. Yeah, go pup. Go pup. Go full pup. Go full pup. If you're going to pop, pop. The point that I was trying to make is I was trying to review the fucking Withering Heights

movie and summarize it. How the fuck did we get the pup play? I don't know. All right. Here we go. From what you said, here we go. Stinky Jacob Allorty gets found by middle class fucking Margo Robbie.

Yeah. It's raining. Raining. Mist everywhere. Always someone is wet. Yeah. And then he's like, he's like, oh, you know what? Fuck this.

I'm out because you like fucking rich guy and you only want to be with him for status. And then he comes back. He's like, guess what? Now I'm the status. Yeah. And fuck you. So I'm going to take his fucking sister. and I'm going to make her bark like a puppy.

Yep. And I'll show you, Margot Robbie. I'm no longer that stinky little sad boy that soiled his pants all the time. Now I'm fucking prim and proper and probably wearing an ascot. Maybe. If there's not an ascot in that movie, there's lanterns. Oh, there's askots. Okay.

And then it's like, you know what? You stayed a piece of shit for too long. I'm Margo Robbie. I'm dying. I'm dead. Now I stink. and you're now rich and miserable because you didn't you didn't decide to be a good guy essentially but they all they loved each other throughout crazy but they smelled like shit

they never smelled like shit at the same time that's what I'm getting here is that at different points different people had different stinks they never matched their stink up to go full stink together they never sent the stink it's like he's like oh I'm a little kid I smell like shit and she's just like all right I don't and then I smell like shit but you smell better because now you use hot baths and stuff because you're rich and British now. You're not listening, but he's actually, he's actually speaking. Thank you. So like, the message of the story, the moral of the story is match the stink.

If love is more powerful than stink. Love is more powerful? Yeah. Love overpowers. The stench of love is better than the stench of dog shit. Now your point is reversed, I think. Yeah, you were building to the... Well, no, they were fighting their love.

And then because of doing that, they both have different stinks. You did have something. I still got it. It's like, right people wrong time is what he was getting at, I think. Right stink, wrong time. No. Wrong stink, wrong time. I tried.

It's not about to stink at all. Tried my best. I mean, when you got a little smelly like dog shit Jacob Allorty, I can't even do it. What could you possibly be riding over there? Right, stink, wrong time. Got it. I imagine that, Mr. Allorty, first of all, don't beat me up because you're like 612 and probably could wipe the floor with me.

That would just be seven foot. I'm not saying you stink. Your character probably smell like dog shit. Yeah. Was this the interviews where Margot Robbie was essentially saying, like, oh, I yearned for him still or something? Yeah, I think that's like a whole marketing thing that they do now in Hollywood where it's like, oh, if you make it seem like the actors are in love, then people will go see the movie.

Like, will they will not they kind of thing? Yeah, that type of shit. All right. I'm not, I didn't love that. I know, like, there were some other, there were some other awkward, like, inner, like press junkets and stuff like that, too. Like, the famous one was the one last year with Pedro Pascal and Vanessa Kirby for Fantastic Four. where like she's like stroking his back and like he's like well no it's all right guys because

I have anxiety and she's helping me yeah I mean I have no I like I don't know like if that if that isn't a marketing thing like that would be so weird because she's married you know what I mean I'm like I agree this is a weird comment yeah and I'm sure he was lurching around with someone at that time too lurching lurch like tall yeah yeah you know lurched Adam's family Good job, dude I know snapping song You crushed that

You absolutely crush that Snapping? No, the knowing that it's from the Adams family Oh yeah, there's only one lurch in the world All right Is that an actual verb? Lurch? Lurch.

But I was lurching in reference to the fact That he's giant And juries out on if he actually does stink He looks like he smells good Not in the movie while he's fucking always soaking wet wearing old-timey English clothes there's no chance he smelled good I know and he was chopping a lot of wood

when he gets angry he chops wood in that movie gets pissed and he starts chopping wood Okay When's the last time he chopped wood, Frankie? Not that long ago He has a fireplace, no Well no my fireplace now is gas But like at the lake

Like five years ago I was chopping wood If that maybe even sooner I don't even know the last time I chopped wood I would chop wood at my friend's Long Island house and it's just one of those friends where his dad would trick me into doing manual labor His dad's my dad That was my dad big time dude

Big time His dad is like masterful at it His dad will just ask you like When he says masterful It's really disrespectful It's just It's masterful You don't know it's coming

And you know it's coming But you don't know that it's right now Well because you would think that he had the wherewithal to know that the kids that stayed up until 4 a.m. drinking don't want to be up at 9 a.m. to flip a dock. Whoa. Brother. Whoa.

Brother. Dude. Not an exaggeration either. Like, one time. 30 by 30 square pressure treated wooden docks with barrels tied underneath them. And then it's like, let's make a bunch of 11-year-olds flip this. Well, we were like 20 at the time.

Yeah, we were. I'm joking. And then it's like, the best way to flip it is. to get it straight up and then walk it down. You know, this thing weighed like 5,000 pounds, and there's 20-20-year-olds, like, trying to figure it all out. It was tough, dude. Yeah.

I remember one time I was staying at Espos House, and it was like dinner time, and we were out on the lake, so we were like, all right, we're going back. And I was like, I'm just going to swim back. So I swam back, and, like, there's, like, a little beach by Frank's house, so that's where I got out, because it was, like, too far together. all the way to Espo's house. I was like, fuck that.

As I get out, his dad's like, he just helped me, I think he's a hole in this thing. And like one of the things, I'm like, yeah. Hour and a half. Looking for this hole. And he's like, you put water and soap and you see where it bubbles. Yeah, classic. It was like an hour and a half.

Love Frank to death, though. Well, was there a hole? Yeah, there's certain. Was that you? Did you hear that? Did your balls just drop out of your pants? The giant bag? Was there a hole?

Yeah. I was like, fuck, what? That was that? That was crazy. It was like the start of like a fucking like techno song. Doom doom. He doesn't listen to techno. No.

I don't listen to techno. Would you go like if we were like in Berlin, would we go to like a deep house like fucking. Let me tell you where I, the places I don't want to be most on the planet. Really? Yeah. Just for the experience. So I can go listen to fucking Diplo? Not to Diplo.

Why don't you shut up and Diplo to suck these nuts, baby? I don't even like that one. You don't. need to like it it's there and would you kindly wow did you start the techno thing yeah right yeah you got him with a got him got him so good baby got him so good dip low and suck these balls yeah yeah yeah that's not bad that's not bad I think that's a pretty good one and and I like was calm during it I didn't I didn't I didn't like stumble my way through it as I was calm during it as I have done so many

other times yeah well did I get you with that one were you Like, did you see it coming? No, it was, it was very fast. I'm so glad. He fired off because he got a little excited about the techno thing, and then it was just, it now it all. Yeah, no, I cannot imagine wanting to go to like an electronica. Are we going or are we where he's going?

Like, are we in the cool area or are we just going? I'm not going. Oh, well, yeah. What is that going? He's not going. I'm saying, like, are we, like, are we just going and being in the pit? I don't want to do that. I don't want to, like, hear a DJ.

He's going like, go fucking Joe. come on they're German oh so yep it's like no the same voice very very Euro

yes electronic no I did it again fuck I can't buy my German we'll start with a different German then go there I can't find my German so like you want me to do you want me to go to Electronica now bring it over now fucking go to

Electronica No, he wasn't working there. Sorry. I can't find my German. You would go? Yeah, dude. I mean, I'm there. Might as well.

I don't know how like, you know, that's not like I'm going to do that. The lights and the like, boom, dum, dom, doom, doom, doom, doom, boom, boom, alone would give me a heart attack. Yeah, yeah. It would be intense. That would be a lot. There'd be a lot of mist there, too. Maybe stinky Jacob Allorty's also there.

Get to the ads. I'd wear like a fishnet shirt. Yeah. You know what I mean? You're trying to introduce fishnets as a normal part of your wardrobe. He is, right? He is. How am I doing it?

And it's fair because you do have the build for it, which is good. How do I, how am I doing that? Well, you're, you're experimenting with fish nets. You want an example? When have I mentioned that? Well, you wore, you wore one to the I heart podcast awards. That's right. It wasn't really fishnet.

But I mean, brother, adjacent. It was adjacent. It was closer to fish nets than anything that either of us, anything that I've ever worn in my entire life. You couldn't give your jacket away. You know? Yeah. It was...

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He's now... Is it getting to the point? Because this is the second time he's brought it up. Well, you wore it the first time, and now you're bringing up like, wear a fishnet. When do we label him fishnet, Joe? It was more just a lapse of fishnet judgment, I feel, for a second.

I don't think... By the way, the most frustrating part of this is you pulled it off and you look good. If you look bad, I wouldn't be making fun of you for it. Actually, I would, but just not as intensely. Okay. So like if you're trying to just soft launch fish nets. If you're trying to soft launch fishnets, that's fine.

I support you. Just let us know so we don't make fun of you and make you feel bad about what you're wearing. I don't believe that about you. What? What does that mean? I'm wearing blue. I said you looked like Cookie Monster. Twice.

Sue me. I made an observation. Twice with intent, with malintent. The intent was to show you that I know Cookie Monster color. I don't think that you can hear yourself speak sometimes, buddy. You're damn right. I don't need to listen to myself speak. You love it.

No. I don't need to listen. If you're trying to make fishnets work, I just want you to know you look good when you wore them, and I support it. I don't consider that fishnet. It's porous a bit. But it's not like fishnets like you can see through it. It's like Jeff Hardy. That was more, I guess he's right.

But fishnets are more. If I was wearing a Fishnet shirt, you'd see my nipples. Brother, we didn't not see your nipples. Saw my nipples? There was nipples about, like, you know, one of a, nipple there. What was that? Oh. Oh, he knows where your nipples are.

Yeah. Forget him. Maybe. Did we know someone who was like, I'm really good at this. I can tell you where your nipples are. Some girl. Yeah, it's like a... Wait, what?

I did an anime move on you, but that's how you do it. Center chest? Boop, nipples right there. Is that true? Wait, so center chest Yep Nipple, no Well, no, I mean you're not really

You could see where Ryan is I'm fucking cock-eyed Your shirt's almost fish net Like this? No, it's a white t-shirt Like this? Yeah And then I what, bend my hand?

Yeah, and then, poop, it should be right there. That is my nipple. No, also no. I don't know how center chest you are but brother, I know my chest he is center chest yeah you drop it

nipple I think I am um come here try it all right because I'm doing it let's see

and be on it and don't actually pinch my nipple please because I fucking hate my nipples all right so get in the center of that thing here's my center chest that's not my center chest brother

it's okay you drop nipple he got you that one he got the other one is fucking lazy eye. It's looking around. That's kind of a great...

Why do you know that? This kid loves nipples. Why do you know that this thing? Sometimes you just know things. Were you breastfed? I think so. That's how he knows. He was like, Mom, just wait there.

Yeah. Too much. That's a wildest fucking image. That's just one of those things that you know. I gave everyone an image of that. I mean, I was breastfed. You were breastfed too, right? Yeah.

What's wrong with that? I also don't know. I also don't know if I was, I assume. Last child, I feel like usually maybe not breastfed. Yeah, I mean, I was lucky I was fed at all. Right. At that point. Your mom's going to hear that.

She'd be like, Joey, tell the people that I fed you appropriately. No, my mom fed us. You were very, you were, you were nourished. Yeah. You were nourished. I got you, Liz. don't worry. I'm not going to allow him to drag your name on a fucking podcast. How did we get there?

We were talking about your fishnet obsession. Oh, my nipples. Fishnet session. Right, my nipples were not out. That's the thing. They were like there, you know, like when a room is completely dark, your eyes adjust to the light and you can see a little. You know what I'm saying? You can probably see like there is some sort of. of shadow if I squint and that's where his nipple is. But it's not like it's like out. I need to see, I don't think pictures will do it justice. I need to see

the shirt that you had purchased. It's easiest solution. We'll just go win another award. And he'll just win the, he'll just wear it. I can wear it on the show. Wear it on the show. I mean, oh God, as if you need to look better. I'm going to get wear a jacket. Someone's scared the fuck out of me, dude.

Dropping fucking... Yeah, that scared me. There was a sound that sounded like a little... Dumbel. and a little girl. Like, yeah, that's why I don't like it. Yeah, that is scary. Squeaking and hearing like a little girl laugh or something. Sometimes when you both leave when I'm here, it could get really dark in here.

Bro, it gets mad darkening. Really? Well, because we black everything out. Oh, yeah. At night, when I have left this place and shut out of the lights, I'm like, I legitimately can't see anything. I call the elevator first and get that light, and then I throw the lights and go in. Yeah. It gets scared.

Were you the kid that, like, ran up the stairs in the basement? like I still have to mentally make it a point to be like I'm I'm a grown I'm grown yeah like I can walk up down here this is my house but then one time something did fall over and that was that scared me um do you still go up the stairs on your like hands sometimes oh yeah no I don't have access to that many stairs no I don't like I don't like I don't an apartment with no stairs um you don't do it you know I I'm not like I used to do it and be like I'm Pikachu but like Pikachu.

Yeah. But like I haven't done that. I can't even tell you the last time I did that. Damn. That's the sad part. Dude, speaking of sad,

I saw a fucking TikTok recently and it really sent me down a bad path and it was like, it was so sweet. It really, I'm so sensitive these days for some reason.

But it was a guy who had a lovely voice and he was singing Frank Sinatra my way to a bunch of old ladies in a retirement home. Oh, I saw that and there was that

one woman that was just like, she was like mouthing the lyrics and I was like, this is brinkinatory. breaking my heart. Yeah, because he's going like,

and now the end is near. Well, yeah, I mean, that's kind of fucked up to sing that to a bunch of old people. That's what I mean. Well,

the comments are saying that. Like, hey, guess what? You're going to die soon. So I face the final curtain. And she's like singing along. I'm like, oh my God,

she knows she's going to die soon. And like, that's just so sad. The comments, though, he was like, it's because people were saying that. And the kid wrote, um,

this was a request. Someone requested it. Someone requested like, just going in there and fire. firing off songs about being close to the end is crazy. But it just made me cry. And then I saw a bunch of sad videos.

Bro, I saw one like two days ago that was like, and it was like a news story someone did. It was like an old man had lost his wife. And he was just like grumpy and miserable and pissed. And then he was in a grocery store and like a little girl like asked him for a hug. And he was like I had never. I had, I literally was living to like living to die, waiting to die. And then this little girl just asked me for a hug And they like bonded and like would like spend time together and stuff like that

Don't even I have chills Oh he's going I literally have chills also I saw this other thing and this I was a I was a fucking mess bro I was a mess watching this I'm not even gonna pull the video because I'm legitimately gonna cry I mean that one I won't talk about I'll talk about the other No what we're gonna talk about both do it maybe who cares

This is the tail end of the episode there's a there's a video that This one got me going I'll just read it, because it's just a video of like a bunch of kids that are, they look like they're in their early 20s. Okay. Hugging this woman. And it says two years ago on Mother's Day, we said goodbye to my brother after his battle with cancer today for the second year in a row. His friend surprised my mom for Mother's Day, a beautiful reminder that love lives on through the people he touched. Right?

Right. So I see this video and it's like all the kids are there and they're hugging the mom. And then they're in her like driveway and they're just playing basketball. The next video is. some guy talking about that video and then like he adds in that oh it's such a sweet thing because her mom because the mom gets to watch the kids through the window playing in the driveway playing in the driveway and it reminds her of like her son and and i'm like fuck that that's beautiful that's that's beautiful that is that is beautiful yeah i mean every now

Like I said, every like month and a half, my algorithm just becomes like, we're gonna make you cry and fucking hard and fat. Dude. Like there was one where it was like, and I've seen this sentiment like other people have posted it as well. And it's just like, like, you know like the, the music for,

oh, you've never seen Inside Out. The fact that you have not watched Inside Out, bro, that first movie is going to fucking ruin you. I can't. It's going to ruin you. But it's like the, the music from inside out and it's like kids playing and it's like when i'm 80 this will be what i dream about and it's like they're kids and stuff like that and yeah it's so fuck dude you know it's

crazy and you'll get there when you have kids you can't have kids and like just be happy about having kids the internet needs to consistently remind you of like they're not going to be this young forever cherish it now they're only good you're going to remember this and miss it one day and it's like, I fucking know that. Yeah. Shut up. Asshole. I saw this other video. That's it. That's all I got. And it was it was so nice, but

it just like enraged me after her too. It was this little girl and she's at Disney or whatever and it says, watch my daughter who has recently started to experience body image. She's fucking eight, by the way. Watch my daughter who has recently started to experience body image

issues and questioning if she's pretty see herself as a Disney princess. And apparently they do like a makeover thing. Yeah, yeah. And then they turn her around and she lights up. And I'm very happy. And I'm like, this is so cute. And then I remember the beginning of that.

And I'm like, who do we kill? Yeah, big time. Who's causing the body image issues? Yeah. Who needs to get run over by a monster truck? What's going on? That'd be a good way to get them. Yeah.

I am fully, those Disney videos get me. because there was one day, Ruby was like, can I see videos of Disney princesses? And I was like, sure, yeah, no problem. I like went on TikTok. I typed like Disney princess. And it's, you know, little kids meeting Disney princesses. And she is like enamored because in her head,

she's like, they're in movies. And they're in real life. And then they're there. And like, I can maybe one day. And I'm fucking hysterically crying. Yeah. And all she does is she looks at me and she's like, are you crying?

Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, yeah. Damn? Dad, that crying, big deal. I was talking to my dad because my dad went a couple years ago with my nephews, my sister and them, and he said, like, seeing the kids make that connection in real life, like, it melts any of the toughest people in the world. No.

Like, I just. The toughest people in the world. Some of those videos are so fucking, you know, there's a rule that, like, they can't break the hug first. love that shit love that bro listen Disney we can be critical of of so many things

we can be very critical of so many things the immersion that they want the experience they want to create I haven't experienced it yet but from what I understand the experience they want to create for children going to the parks and stuff like that you have to tip a cap to that

yes maybe it's because they want them to come back and spend all their money whatever but it does mean something you know what I mean it's unbelievable dude the videos there's like compilations of children meeting like Disney characters and I'm like oh my god dude I'm never gonna stop crying never gonna stop rob zombie never gonna stop a name I haven't even thought about

Dragula I remember Dragula but I never bro I was thinking of never gonna stop because it was It's just theme stuff. You think you know you. Oh, Matarango on the 95 Take me to wrong

Debute down the wrong line. Dude. You don't know Rob Zobby, do you? I know.

You don't know shit just because of the horror movies, you fuck. Why does he, why do I know Dragula? Was I in a

video game or something? Like, just a metal? It probably was. It probably was. Dragula is such a good song. I know so many songs that I never otherwise would have known

because of video games. You know, so Dragula's probably there. Madden, another one. Matt, there was a... Never scared. Well, no, that was a banger than I knew, period. But, like, I remember, like, Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 had a bunch of, like,

those songs. Goldfinger. Which one was that? Oh, fuck, what's the song? What's the Goldfinger song? You'll remember it, because it's from the Tony Hoax. Tony Hoax. Goldfinger song If it's the one I'm thinking of

I just didn't know the name It's probably that one It's the one that I'm thinking of The 7thman Superman It's just like Now here I am Doing everything I can

Oh no that's another one Superman Superman That was in Tony Hawk The one that I'm thinking of It's just like No 178 I think it's the CKY

Like song Where they had it in their videos where it's just like, Don't be a zan, Benzal and you definitely know it at us. Dun, dun. Dun.

CK.Y was the group of like skaters, like Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Deco and all them that like made those videos before they were like jackass. Damn. No, I don't know that one. Yeah.

The Goldfinger song. I mean, the famous ones are like all of MVP Baseball 2005. Tessie. I got a funny little feeling. man, I listened to that album recently, and someone was like, Becca was just like, what the fuck are you listening to? And I was just like, because it was on opening day, the day, like, baseball opening day.

And I was just like, I'm in the moon, I'm cooking hot dogs. I'm throwing on fucking MVP baseball. The bravery, you know. MVP baseball soundtrack? Yeah. Oh, it's so good. What year's that? 2004?

2005. Five. It was the year after because the year before is when the Red Sox won. My God, though. There you go. Let's go listen to some Tony Hawk. Skater fucking You remember that one?

You don't know what the hell we're talking about. Go play your Marrier card. Doeep. I have to. You have to? Oh, the cardathon's coming up, right? Yes, it is. Oh, you got to practice?

I do. Well, no, but you guys are showing up, right? You let me know when and where, baby. I'll pull up. Let him know where. Yeah, he knows where. It's weird. Everyone knows.

Oh, yeah. Yes, that's fair. It's at your house. Which, what's the address one more time? Also, what's going to happen if I just stomp out your controller? We'll have a spare just in case. Things get a little over. I might just show up just to ruin the stream.

Oh. Oh, good. He's going to kick over your whole streaming setup. That would do it. No, I'll play the voice notes I have of you saying all those Hispanic slurs at me. Now you're the victim of this. Yeah. I'm glad it's moved on from me.

Yeah. Now I'm just the blue guy. anything any any anything yeah i'm not i got a chill anything any anything i got a chill um well i guess that's it for this episode thank you guys so much for watching and making this far frank where can they frank alvers everywhere go check out the patreon patreon patreon dot com slash the baseman yard

and in fact you can find the basement yard all over social media and find me at aunt prisco on instagram and you guys can follow me at joe sanagato and go follow on TikTok and Instagram, and that is all. See you guys next time.