The Basement Yard - #560 - Being Dragged By A Boat

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

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I saw my friend on the other side of the street. I was heading to school with the kids. I let go of mom's hand to wave. I had already forgotten their lunches. I ran over to hug her. She came out of nowhere. And then... It stopped.

Sometimes the moments that never happen matter most. Volvo's automatic emergency braking helps ensure a safe ending for everyone. Learn more at volvocars.caps.ca.ca. Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank, what are you doing? You know, that was it dribbling? That was me dribbling? One more time?

Right. But I'm, wow. That was poor dribbling on my part. Correct. I, uh, you know, feeling good. Dribble wise. Nice. Dribbling, dribbling and shooting.

Yeah. How are you? I'm good, aunt. You got a brand new shirt, so how are you doing? I'm good. I'm feeling good. Yeah. Is that your, is this the,

first wear? It's not the first wear. You wearing a good shirt. I will say this. You pick the hottest day of the year so far to wear the thickest knit shirt of the year. No, it's like, it's like, it's kind of see. You could see me. I could see you a little bit. I can see me. I can see you too, though, but I also know, I know, I know thread counts and I know it's crazy. What? I've never seen seen his nipples. Have you never seen my nipples? I've never seen your nipples. I don't think I've seen your nipples. It's summer. Well, I'll, I'll nipple it up with you. Are you, I've never seen his nipples. I mean, you've seen my nipples. I've seen my nipples. I've seen your nipples. I've seen my nipples. I've seen my nipples. I've seen my nipples. I've seen my nipples. I mean, you got to more self-flop. When you see my nipples, do you also hate them with me? Like, is it a form of support. I hate my nipples. Do you hate my nipples? Or do you like my nipples in order to pull me out of the hatred of my own nipples? I'm not going to enable this self-hate you have for your nipples. It's not self-hate. I love every other part of me. This rectangular, you know, 30-

Oh, you're including all of it? I thought it was just the nipples. This area I hate. So, like, what would we say? This is what, like, 13 inches by three inches. So what is that? 13 times three is... You got it.

39? 39 square inches of my body are my least favorite. Okay. Okay. So do you also dislike it with me? No. So you're... All right, because this is good to know,

because I've, you know, obviously. I've made fun of you for a lot of things. So if you also don't like something about yourself, you want me to pull you out of it and reassure you that you shouldn't be upset about it instead of being like, yeah, also yeah, fuck that shit. Fuck your fucking stupid ass knows. Let me ask you a question.

When your wife, if ever, has said something to you like, hey, I'm feeling insecure about this thing. I don't really like this part about my body. What's your reaction? Because what you're expecting for me is probably not what you should be doing. I remind her that she is sculpted out of marble. She's a goddess among women and humans and however you choose to identify. Right.

Yeah. So that's what I'm doing. But this is different. That's what I'm doing for you. But this is different though, brother. How could but it be? Because we're not a partner. We're not partners.

And can we get a fact check on that? Look that up. If we look up the internet, they will say that. They might tell us the opposite. Are we counting ariola or just the points? Nipple. Of course we're counting ariola. That's the whole nipples.

It's like the term vagina. It's everything that's going on in the wallet. Got it. You got the cards. You got the ID. First of all, the nipple and the ariola are boys. They go together. Yeah, but sometimes.

Like, wababababab. Bishimba Bing, Bolog. That's what it is. That was grease, wasn't it? I'm going to. Yep. Yeah, but you know how like sometimes if your nipples is not hard, it's like all ariola? Yeah.

That's my least. That's why I'm like, you're touching up. I'll give them a little. I'm not kidding. When my shit's not hard, it's like a milk dud and I get pissed off because I love milk duds and I hate my nipples. Milk duds are dark. Your shits aren't dark. Not that dark, but I'm just referencing in the kind of like molded, rounded.

Nope, that's a round. Molded? Like, rounded, molded, you know. Oh, you're saying molded like sculpted. Yes, yeah, like malleable. I'm thinking moldy tits. That's what I thought you said. I don't think.

I don't have moldy tithes. I hope not. You got hair? He got hair around the nipple? Do you? I think I have weird. Yo, my chest hit, first of all, God, as if this guy needed anything else. He's rich.

He's good looking. He's athletic. You got good chest hair, dude. I got no. I actually do think I have a decent chest hair I'm not kidding. I can count my chest hairs like by number. Like that's how little there are. That's him, his whole body. Me too, but my whole thing, yeah. Oh, my leg hairs are my, my, I, I, Danny Lopiori always used to tell me. Always is a crazy thing to say. Every day of my life that he would be astonished to how hairless I was. But like, do you have hairless legs? No, the legs are hairy and the thigh too, but like, you see my my leg? Yeah, your leg is insane. Bro, I don't...

No, you got hair on your legs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like as you got ashy knees, dude. What are you doing? He needs, he needs lotion on those. You gotta throw some... Come on. Where are you going? Oh, he's gonna kick over the chair and shit. Yo, it is crazy. What is that? Yeah, yeah. I mean... I got nothing. Also, am I seeing, I could see your pores from here, I think. Bro, I know. I got nothing. That's crazy. Good for you, man. Honestly, though.

Are you excited about that? That's why you were able to tread water for so long. You're hair. You're like Phelps. You're hairless. You're hairless and You're a rat. It was more because Joe bet me. I could do if Joe bed. No, but you're built for the water. I am built for the water.

Absolutely. A little amphibious. Can you dive well? Sure. That doesn't say, that's not yes. Off a diving board, yeah. Well, where else are you off? Well, because you could dive off a cliff.

You could dive off a cliff. I've done that. You could dive off. I think if you're able to dive off of a cliff, you could dive off. Just dive. Yeah, I'm good at diving. You? I remember watching you dive and you would like frog-legged.

Sometimes, yeah. And you would frog-leg-leg-it. But you made it look good again, your chest hair, you fuck. No, but one time I dove and Nicole took a video and I was like, yo, that's the best dive I've ever seen, I mean, for me.

Not for in my life, but. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. But a lot of the time, I'm not like a really good diver, to be honest. Yeah. I'm not brave. Well, give me your best three jumps in the water. Like that you... How can I possibly describe that? You can do that. Your best like, if someone was like, yo,

we're doing a jumping in the water contest. Oh, which things would I do? Bring your three, you're on the podium. jumps in the water. Okay. I would attempt a dive because when I can get it right, I just got to be like mentally strong. So you're playing that you're taking the gamble? Yeah, I'm going to gamble that. Well, I don't have a lot of, I don't have a big arsenal here. I mean, you've got a good amount. I don't think so. I would do that. Then I'd probably do, I think I could do like a decent front flip. That's a tough one because high risk, high reward again. Because if you went straight on

your back, that's going to hurt so bad. Yeah. Usually you land on kind of your butt. Yo, I wish I could do a gainer. I think that's the fucking coolest thing in the world. Dude, our friend Dennis used to do a gainer, and it was, I'm not kidding, what I imagined, like, deep impact would have been. Like, he would hit the water,

and it was like, skunkdunkdunk. Yeah, some people are good at that. Yo, Keith can hit a jackknife, hard body, karate. Wait, wait, wait, which one? Now, see, because different jumps have different names across different... You, like, jump and, like, it's a little bit of a spin. Yeah, you like, hold your one knee.

I thought that was gainer. Which one is a gameer? Gainers when you're running and you flip back. Oh, you're doing a shooting star press? Yes. Like you're fucking Evan Bourne? Yes. Jesus.

Billy Kidman? Yeah, dude. Like, those are sick. Oh, I didn't realize that's what you meant by Gainer. Dude, if I could do a Gainer, I wouldn't shut up about it. Bro, if I could backflip, I would. I mean, this is when we get into Benson Boone territory. I get it.

Because if I was that motherfucker, I'd be doubling up his flips. Yeah, but you know what, though? It's gotten to the point, like, he got so famous, so fast that he needs to chill. because if he keeps doing the backflip it's just going to take one person to see him fall they get the ick because he'll be singing in backflip and then he'll like hey right what the hell was that

is that a ribbit what was that he'll make like a weird yelping noise and people will be like yeah like fuck this guy nah bro I think that um no one ever made a noise no one of the opposite sex ever made a noise and you're just like ill like a girl made a noise

like a grunt or something the fuck was that yeah you never see um nothing stands out at the moment. But I think that like, if I'm Benson Boone and someone's like, oh my God, backflip, I'd be like, hey man, super successful, athletic, and I got a great voice, I'm chilling. Yeah, you know what, Benson Moon has never done? So that MSG. Has he actually?

Probably. By the way, if he hasn't, easily good. Yeah, probably. But, all right, so no pencil dive in there? Oh, pencil. That was another one. Pencil. I can pencil dive.

I'm good at it. Like dropping it. actual pencil into water. You can? I'm very, very good. Do you point your toes down? You have to. Oh, okay, so that's where I make a mistake. But also, a good pencil dive doesn't go straight down. It curves. Like, you need to curve with

it because you just cut through the water better. I like that. But I have jumped from a distance and I hit my feet on the water so hard that I got like a belly flop on the bottom of my feet. And now I just got stinging feet. I struggle with

if I should include belly flop in my top 10 water jumps. You're good at that? Dude, I am so... Because you know how I am. I commit to the bit. So, like, I have done belly flops and just... Let it go.

Like, let it go. Like, I'm fucking... Scott Stap. You know what I mean? Like, off the building. Yeah. You're gonna go Elsa or something. Did you ever jump into a pool

and your trunks came off? A bunch of times. Really? No. Oh, the beach has taken my trunks, yeah. Beaches sucked your shit. That's a white house. Yeah, a wave just, like, sucked my pants off.

We used to, um, you know, when we were tube at the lake, we had... My pants came up. Bro, my dick was dragging against the surface of that water. Yo, I'm not kidding. And his dad was driving the boat, and I'm hanging off the back, and my pants just like immediately shot to my ankles, and my raw dick is getting beat up by the waist.

Yo, I have spent more time raw dicking that lake during tubing than I've been ever inside of a woman. Yeah, I've spent more time. Bro, we would go like anytime we would tube, because we were fucking nuts with it. You remember, we would go, we would go three tubes at once, jump a bu, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was the most fun when someone would miss and their fucking pants would fly off. But we had a, uh, uh, uh, the big banana boat. You remember the banana boat too?

I do, yeah. And what we would do is we would kneel. There would be six of us at a time. Three would kneel on the sides and one person on the back. And, yo, water is powerful, dude. It's so hard. It fucking, it. will take your shit and send it to fucking China.

Dude, honestly, I'm not kidding. There was one time I fell off the back of this tube and I'm holding on. My pants shot to my ankles and it felt like my dick was being stretched all the way back to my feet like a tail. You know, because like you look at the wake of a boat when you're in, when you're tubing. And when you get to that like you're about to go outside the wake,

there's like the gurgobbles and bubbles going like this. So like when you're on that edge of the wake And your dick is just getting beat like it is owe and money. It's cutting your dick down the hole. Like, in hat. Yo, like, imagine being dragged. It's still weekly. It's been a lot of thick.

Yeah, bro, we're going to get more of it, too. We don't. We don't. This is very real to us. Bro, like, I'm not kidding. My balls have gotten mashed, too, bro. I've spent a lot of time wondering what it would be like to get dragged by horse. And I know.

Because I've been dragged by boat and tube. Yeah, I've been dragged. by your Colombian father. Also, a lot of people when they're driving, especially children, drive the boat like this, right? Like, the boat goes this way. And you're hitting, like, waves.

And people go like this. Yo, my dad was driving his shit like this. It's just, it's just fucking, like, you're all over the plane. Also, like, oh, my God, bro. It gets so scared to do it. Yo, honestly, my dad was a bitch about driving. It was Espos dad and his grandfather that like, yeah.

I mean, you know what Espo's dad looks like. The dude is tatted both arms. He's got a fucking mustache. He's got a spider web. A spider web. This guy's taking children tubing. I'm getting launched in the air. And he's got like, my balls are mashed.

And he's going what felt like 500 miles per hour. Yeah. Chomping on a cigar, looking like, looking back every five minutes to realize someone has fallen. Yeah. And like, you wouldn't, you wouldn't, You would get fucking, you're hanging on like this, and you're crying laughing because you see the person hanging on and like, just let go. Yeah. Like, you just let go.

But holding on to their shorts. And their dick, dude, imagine if you just skull-fucked a fucking bowl of marbles. Like, it shit is just getting beat to fucking death. Yeah, it's really insane. And I have like a bunch of cuts. One time I fell off and I headbutt someone so hard that I like hit whatever. And then as they went to come pick me up, the boat drove by, and I suppose dad, like, called me a bitch or something. And I was like, damn, you died in your leg.

Yeah. What are you talking about? Yep. Yeah. I mean, it was crazy, but it was a lovely upbringing, to be honest. Yeah. So I'm also going cannonball. Cannonball is a classic that I'm pretty confident at this point in my life.

When you go cannonball, right? When you jump into water and you do a cannonball, are you, like, one of those people that, like, crosses their legs and, like, faces forward? Or do you lean back? No, I kind of honestly, like, I go up and I, like, You know, like, I, like, kind of go on my back. Okay. And I feel like I'm... You can push it down.

I can push it down. Yeah. Which I know I can't. So, your asshole. You know, if you put it like that, yeah. Because I've done that, all jokes aside. I don't know why I'm the good at the cross. Who are you going to God?

I've done a cannibal so hard, and I don't know if it was the gravity that day, but it legitimately hurt the rim of my asshole. Yo, I'm not kidding. When I was younger, I don't know why my asshole would just suck in water randomly in body. Do you remember that shit? It'd be like just randomly like Okay, what do you mean?

How would I remember your asshole movement? I mean, you did it? Oh, my butt was getting water? Yeah. Oh, of course, yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like, bro, you jump into water or stay in water long enough, you're fucking, it's gonna get in your ass. It's like, it's actually kind of a good thing. I think my butt kind of probably talks with excitement. Like, when I get really hyped, it's like,

poof, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, it's like taking in water. That's a thing, if you jump high, high enough with a cannonball, water will shoot up. Which I mean like, it's not filling me up. It's not filling you up. But you are kind of like aneminizing your butt a little bit. Like if anything, you're cleaning your shit out a little bit. Yeah, it's probably a net positive.

And one of the few things I learned from meeting Dr. Mike is there's so many sphincters that like, it's not going to be dangerous, dude. No, no, no. You're not like pressure washing your shit, but you're getting in there and you're cleaning the walls. No, tubing, you're pressure washing. Yeah, you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't even begin to express how much time we've spent tubing. Your shit gets like...

Like, I imagine, like, if you took someone's dick and, like, put it on those whole-timey washboards that they used in, like, the Oregon Trail. Yeah, and it's just... Honestly, it's just not funny, to be honest. I'll tell you this, though. We beat monetization into a bloody pulp there. Yeah, it's over for that. There's no way.

There is no way that we're getting it. Dude, but what a good time. But, yeah, man, I remember jumping in, and I got... Keith always makes fun because I didn't even think about what I was saying, but I jumped into our pool and I came out of the water and I was like, yo, that hurt my asshole so bad. Yeah, dude. You know, or like if you jump off, one time I jumped off a boat and landed in water,

but I like landed like I was like sitting on the ground or something. Bro, clapped my whole ass, clapped my balls, my handspring. Yo, your shit was clapped 100%. My whole shit was like beat to hell. Was anyone around when your shit was getting clapped? Yeah, dude, I was in Connecticut. Oh, wow. I was jumping off an Espo's boat.

People watching you get your shit. Like, we used to do, dude, we used to do something called the drop off where... Oh, I've done this. You remember that shit? Yeah. So we all... Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick.

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Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. You'd never been to the lakehouse. Everyone had docks and what Espo's dad would do when he would take a stooping. Because, bro, big boat, big wake, went fast. And what he would do is it would be sometimes a little difficult to him to pull into the dock by himself to grab the whips and everything to like, you know, kind of tie up on the cleats. he would just so he would come if this was the dock

he would drive and just turn right here and it would whip the tubes so we knew it was coming so we would let go and you would skate off the fucking

bro skip off the water like a rock and like there were times that like if you got a bad angle you rolled over with it and like your butt was getting blasted it when I used to fall off tubes and it's like pretending

that you got to hit really hard by like a character and you're like bouncing off the wall like pick pink pink pink pink pink yeah you want to hear something that is so me coded oh god I'm gonna be so happy about this oh geez that almost went through the table when we were like 12 years old bro we would go tubing three times a day which now if I went tubing now one time a day I'm done for three days yeah we would go tubing three times a day and at the end of every tubing session I'd be like good ride boys. Yeah, you suck.

Good ride boys. See, before Van Diesel, there was him. You know what I'm saying? He's like, yo, we're family. There was never me. I've never existed in the world before Vin Diesel. You kidding me? Although I've never seen a fast movie. You've never seen any of the Fast and Furious movies?

Never. What? How did you even, how did you pull that off? I've never seen a minute of a single one of them. Unless like there's like a clip of something. Even Tokyo Drift? None. Zero.

Wow. That seems like the one I'd watch because of Bow Wow. But I didn't watch that one. Yeah, I didn't watch any of them. Bow Wow. I was in that even though? Pretty sure it's Bow Wow. What's that song?

No, no, no, do you know. Danny, we need Tokyo. No, I didn't, I didn't see that one. What song? Is that drift? I'll have to say, I don't know. Yeah. No, but I refused.

I refused because we had known someone that got hit by a drag racer. So it was like my standing up for what was right to not watch any of those movies. Oh, damn. I saw like five of them. So you're a piece of shit to his family and his memory. Okay. Those movies made billions of dollars. Yeah, obviously.

I mean, I think, like, they have jumped a shark at this point in time, to my understanding where it's like ludicrous is driving a car in space. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's like, let's tell, how do we get this Pontiac GT? Is that a good car? That's a piece of shit, isn't it? I don't think Pontiac even exists anymore. I don't know.

It's like, we got to drive. Dodge Charger. You know? You got to land it. It's a space car. We're going to drive this Dodge Charger into a rocket. and it's going to attach with the rubble. That's my Vin Diesel.

That was Sylvester Stallone, I think. That is also him, too. I feel like, yeah, that was... That also sounded like you, but mid-burp. Well, Zvezelon is here. That's my Sylvester Stallone. Oh. Yeah.

Do an impression of anyone. Don't sit there and just be critical of mine. I can't. I don't. I don't have any... Oh, no. You get them. No, you get them now. You could do Godfrey.

Pretty good. Who? Gilbert Godfrey. Yeah. You can do Godfrey. Pretty good. Oh. What do I say?

You don't remember? Yeah, I do. But I can't... Something wrong with... Yeah, yeah. What is he? I need a line. Lying!

He's got no lines. Oh, I thought you were... You're the fucking computer guy! What does that just make something? Look up, famous Gilbert Goffrey lines. No, it's fine. Don't worry. Although he had some...

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and is no longer exclusive just to Patreon, there might be some tickets still available. Still still, go to thebasementyard.com and check it out. We're really excited. We're putting together a show that is going to be so fun and it's going to be a good time. So patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basementyard.com for those presale tickets with the presale code basement. If I keep talking, Ant can't crack his drink. I know. So I'm just going to keep talking.

I'm just going to keep going. I've been waiting. I didn't want to interrupt because I got yelled at the last time. What's the longest you think you can talk uninterrupted, like filibuster style? Also, great name for something. Yeah. Like, you. Yeah, that was a loud.

So loud. How long could I talk straight? Like, because we were talking before about cameo And cameo, it's a lot of times It could only be like 30 seconds Or it could be longer than that and stuff like that How long do you think you can go like If you really wanted to talk nonstop

This guy bringing up, we both have cameo is crazy I didn't say that I had cameo I didn't say anything about your cameo Way to plug it, you plug her That feels like a slugger That definitely That was a slur A hard R after two

That was crazy, can we call it could we call someone Josh leave that in Leave it in. Destroy him. Get someone else in here. Wait on. Get someone else in here. Yeah, no, that was crazy.

A hard art right there is wild. What were we talking about? Oh, how long can I talk? You know what's funny? If that was me, I'd be like, guys, seriously, shouldn't we take that out? And you both be like, no, you're fine. How long can you talk filibuster style

until you have fully filled your bust? Those are two separate questions. I think, like, if I'm going for it, I'm trying to go for as long as I possibly can. Yeah. And what's a... What constitutes as like a break? Like, can I stop and think of what I'm going to say?

If you stop for more than 10 seconds. No, if you stop for more than... Let's go five seconds. That's a break. What are the rules? Can you do me a favor? Look up because there are actual rules to how long a filibuster. Is there? Yeah.

A filibuster's a real thing. Yeah. They just read Dr. Seuss sometimes. What? Yeah, they like to read Dr. Seuss or books up there. Just to buy time. Did you ever see the, what's it called, the Parks and Rec? Hold on.

I'm going to need an explanation. So in the United States, I don't know if it's Congress or the Senate or what have you. If they want to basically prolong a vote, they will do something called a filibuster where they will not relinquish their time. And they'll literally stop, they'll talk unbroken until people finally give it and are basically like fucking whatever. let's just table the whole conversation to another time because they don't want it to be like the vote's going to go against them. I think didn't Cory Booker just do like a legendary one? I'll look that up, but just further explanation, it's because the Senate allows for an unlimited debate. Like there's no cap. Right. So people just go up there to extend the voting like he said by just reading books or just talking

forever. What a stupid and childish thing. Yes. Yes. I mean, now we're talking American politics. That's a whole other thing, but yeah. It's ridiculous. So it's like, well, then I'll just annoy you. That's literally like, okay, well, being a little, little, little. I guess we'll just talk forever that. Caddy little bitch.

Wow. That's the dumbest thing ever. Not very long. What's long? Like, I could probably do like 40 minutes. I mean, that is long. I've done it before. Like a solo podcast.

We are in a world where we do podcasting. Especially if I can like prepare stuff. I could go way longer than 40 minutes. I don't think preparing, I think the whole point of it is that it's not prepped. I think the idea is that like they're just going and going and going and going. It needs, I imagine there needs to be here some form of coherence. Like you can't just be up there and just be like, hibidi bibidi, balear, I'm going to.

Right. I think that if like I could think about it for a little bit before, then I could probably do it. Because I used to do podcasts by myself and those were like 35, 40 minutes. I did, I remember one time I did a podcast by myself and I had you help me like edit it. it. And we were both like, that was nonsensical. Like, it was just like, it was about a thing. Yeah. But like, it was just like, it got to a point where like you just go down tangents and

paths and you lose it, which is ironic because that's kind of what we do now. Right. But at the time, I was just like, oof, that wasn't good. Booker's speech, the longest filibuster, was 25 hours and five minutes. He talked for that long? Yeah. of 200 plus pages of prepared material. Nope, I lied.

1,164 pages of prepared material, but 200 stories about stuff. It was just like long. Fun fact. Could you talk? No shot for 25 hours. No way. I don't care about anything that much.

I mean, that's not true. You care about your family. You care about your job. To a degree. I think 25 hours is crazy. Yeah, I don't, like, I don't even know how that's possible. I mean, you just talk at points.

It just goes off on tangents. Like, you'll start talking about politics and you'll be in there about, like, Smokey the Bear or something. But physically, I don't even know how it's possible because sometimes we come in here and we have to record two episodes and then we record videos.

And by the time I get home, my voice is like horse. Course? Horse? Horse. Yeah, you got a horse in your throat. What's course? Course is like when something is like... Fine.

No, that's more when it's more like... Oh, course is the opposite. It's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Horse, sand. Right. It's coarse.

It gets everywhere. Yeah. If you could tell me where that's from, I will give you... Say it how the character says it. Exactly. Give them the location. Not the location. I hate sand.

It's dry. I'm butchering it here to some degree. I hate sand. It's dry. It's coarse. And it gets everywhere. That sounds so familiar. It is quite...

I know it's from something you have seen in your life. Is it animated? Nope. Fuck me in the face. Okay, I hate sand. It's coarse. It's sandy and it gets everywhere. It's something, it's coarse, and it gets everywhere.

It's popular as being a bad line in this movie. In an arguably bad movie. But people have since come around and said like, no, it's actually really good. Is it the fucking movie where the guy's like, I cannot. The room? No, that has some bad line delivery, though. Okay, what is it? You're my favorite customer.

Hello, Poppy. Star Wars episode two, Attack of the Clones. I would have never gotten that. I know that's why I was astonished and I would have offered you a lot of things. But, so you,

what's the longest you think? Because you just did the modern wisdom podcast. You guys talked for a while. We did talk. We talked for two hours and 45 minutes and I talked a lot there. And then after that, I was so tired.

Me and Greg went to like a nice dinner. and the waitress was like trying to be nice. And she was like, oh, so you guys like, are you guys from around here? We're like, oh, no, we're from New York. And like, oh, you're in town? Like, doing, like, going to any comedy shows? Because I guess like the comedy scene there is like why everyone's there. And I was like, just, I didn't say this.

But in my head, I'm like, just the bread. Just the bread. Because I was so tired. What about you? What's the longest you think you've, like, done podcasting? I think I could go. I can go for a while. The fuck, you could play a Mario Car for a week long.

The fuck? The subathons get... Yeah, but a lot of it's this. Yeah, but... I'm gonna beat you, bitch. Yeah, but at night when, like, everything's winding down, we have, like, slumber parties and, like... Hey, you guys sleep on stream? No, but, like, usually...

Now who's the plugger! I didn't... Doppel hard, hard, hard. Hit him, hit him with something. No, hang up. Hang up. Hang up. Hang up.

Hang up. We need me. Thank you. So, like, I could go for hours. Wow. I didn't plug anything. I think, because I've done a 24-hour stream and I talked. Oh my God.

The whole, I've done two 24-hour streams and I talked, brother. I'm sure there were parts where I was just like, but for the most part, I remained animated. Bro, a 24-hour stream with you now would be bonkers. It's actually easier because you usually have people bringing stuff up and talking to you. Well, yeah, you talk to the chat. And honestly, at times, like the times where I thought it was going to be the hardest is when the most activity was happening. Like, 4 a.m.,

like there was like a thousand people in there. Yeah, really? I think I peaked at like 1100 people. Well, I guess at that time, it's like, if you're up, there's, there's like only a few things you can do. I also had a lot of tea. Like, I remember, like... Just ripping pisses. I mean, there was a,

like, those mornings, I was like, I took like bathroom breaks and stuff like that because you have to. You, there's physically no way. Yeah, yeah, you got a crap and peep. You got him, peep. Yeah. But yeah, man, oh my God, I guess I haven't realized that... What does that feel like? When you're at hour 24 and you're like ending, are you like...

Well, I did it straight 24 hours. The way that you guys do it is crazy where it's just like every donation we'll do an extra 10 minutes and then people are sending donations so it lasts a week long. 13 days was the last one. That is sickening. And didn't you say that like it had to end because you guys had a wedding? Yeah, but they decided to gather together and go, we're going to make them miss the wedding. so we had to stop it.

I love that. Yeah. I love that. It was, I remember very clearly, I did it to, like, pay back the money that was fronted for me to get the equipment. And I said, like, if we get to that financial goal, then I'll do a 24-hour stream. The first, I really believe I broke it up into my feeling was, like, eight hours. Those first eight hours, I was just, like, gung-ho, so about it. I was fun, I was happy, I was playing video games

Those middle eight hours, it was like Fuck And then those last eight hours It was like, it kind of worked back toward it And then... Because you're like getting used to like, yo, it's almost over And then I remember, I don't know if it was the first one or the second one But the Yankees were playing in game one of the ALCS against the Astros So like

I like went out after we finished I like had champagne pain and I started drinking. After being awake for 24 hours? Yeah, I started drinking. And Becca found me like passed out. But like not the passed out like I remember falling asleep. Like I was like watching and then I remember her waking me up.

Right. Because you're probably so tired. I'll have to find it. I had taken a picture of my eyes. Why? Because you were all fucked up. Oh. Dude, there's nothing worse than that.

I mean, even in L.A., like, I had, when we were just in LA, I had trouble sleeping there because of like the time difference, I guess. And like I always get up at the same time. So out there, I'm three hours early. So I'm like wired at like 5 a.m. or 4 a.m. And then it's just like the effect that not sleeping has on you is like insane. Because I usually get, you know, seven and a half hours at least. I know it's probably not a great thing. But I'm, I operate really well off like five and a half to six hours. I used to rip four hours when I was younger all the time and be chilling. Beginning of the year when I was like pretty aggressively like going to the gym and stuff,

I was going to sleep at 11, 10 30, 11 and I was waking up at four. Yeah. You know, which is like, I think is not good. I mean, you probably like, I do appreciate how like that puts you down earlier. Yes. But dude, when I was younger though, dude, and just like we would be up all night playing Xbox, I would be up to like 3 a.m. Go to school. Same shit. Dude, I used, we used to stay up to like four or five. And I remember in college, very specifically having an 8 a.m. class and being like, sun's up.

This is crazy. Bro, it was so good. Or sometimes I'd be like, like, I think maybe that's why I'm such a good sleeper. Because when I was younger, I would be in, me and Keith shared a room. And like, I would go to sleep. And Keith would be up telling people to suck his dick on Halo. So I, like, slept through that. Boy was he.

Yeah, he was going crazy. My mom sometimes would come in there. That was my favorite. When it woke my mom up, which I don't know how it didn't every fucking night. He was bad about something. Yo, my mom used to come in there and lose it. It was hysterical because you would just hear Keith. Oh, motherfucker.

Yeah, he said shit. And then you would hear your mom. Because it was before like, it was before the technology where it was like you really only heard the person speaking into the mic. You can hear the whole room. You could hear the whole house. And I remember hearing your mom coming down the stairs. Like, are you fucking kidding me? Bro, he used to do this in our room was next to my mom's room.

Yeah. And then sometimes she would come in and she would be, because there's other people sleeping. You're fucking crazy. Are you crazy? And I'm laying a bit like, he is crazy. Yeah. Yo, he got after him with some of that shit. But like all of us were at some point.

And then also, like, we would be in a party chat to like fuck with the other person. We would just kick them. So, like, they're in the middle of like. a death match or Slayer and then like they have to like stop what they're doing to rejoin and then they die and stuff like that. Bro, do you know what like it blew my mind that that was like a universal thing that happened on Xbox? Like I would see memes of it and people would be like, what's the shape of Italy? Like I didn't know other people did that to their friends. Let me ask you a question. Does that make it more special for you or less special?

I think more. It's like you participated in something that like was just the like, cultural norm, but I was going to say, like, didn't it feel more special when you would talk with your friends about it and be like, yo, me and my friends do this shit and it's crazy, it's hysterical, and you felt like it was yours? May, I don't, I mean, maybe, I don't know, I kind of go back and forth to that type of thing, because I do have, well, I think I've said this on an episode before where, like, with COVID, as horrible, it was, it was horrible, I thought that there was something interesting about, like, everyone's going through this at the same time on the whole planet.

So, like, it is kind of cool when you find out that, like, oh, the thing that we, like, you know, like, little things. Like, I used to say, Ali, Ali, Aksim free. Then you think that's the only thing that you and your friends know, but it becomes a thing that in other countries they even know. And it's like, oh, wow, what? Yeah. So I guess, I know we were just talking about getting your dick and balls dragged by water. But definitely something that's a shared experience. Yeah.

But, like, at what point does an experience lose its luster? by how shared it is. Like, for me, I'm thinking in terms of, like, what you're saying, like the whole Xbox, because it has now become a thing. Like, the world is, like, genuinely obsessed with nostalgia. I mean, Jesus, if you go on TikTok,

there's so much of just, like, you know, like Xbox parties and old snacks and games like that. And, you know, that cuts me at my core. Do you see the videos where they're, like, AI videos of, like, here's Christmas in 1994? Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, apart, that must fuck. you up because it fucks me up. I've seen them, but you know how I am with AI? I swipe the fuck away from

them. I'm like, oh, I'm not supporting this bullshit. I'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I watch it and I'm like, like, there was one with a woman like pushing a cart and blockbuster and I'm like, and it just like unlocks like thoughts that you haven't had in so long and like, oh my God. It's weird because I remember as a kid having the difficulty explaining what are now considered shared experiences. And in a way, it like, it both like calcifies how special it was to me, but also like, I don't want to hear about anyone else experiencing it. Like, I wanted to remain my thing, but it is also cool that it was something that other people engaged in. It's a weird, there's a really fine line to ride there. Bro, there was nothing better than that.

Like being like 16 and just, it was like you were with your friends all day and like, especially in the summer. and then you would get home, and it's like, I am literally on Xbox until 4 a.m. every night. And like, there was a sense of, like, it was the, like, even the internet back then was not the internet that it was now. I feel like the internet now is more of a representation of, like, Xbox game chats

than they were what the internet was then. Like, no one is going on the internet to play flash games anymore. Like, they want that. Damn, miniclip? fucking Newgrounds. You remember New Grounds? What was the one that had Candy Stand?

Bro. Candy stand had a... Candy stand had a golf game, like a mini golf game. Oh, like you pulled it back to like for like the power and shit like that. But like it was like candy on each level.

Bro, I fucking love that game. I used to play it in school all the time. Addicting Games.com. That one. That one was a good one. There was a bunch on there. But I also was like going to like Cartoon Network and I was like playing the like Dexter

laboratory mazes and shit like that. Didn't even know that was a thing. Oh, I do know what you're talking about. Dude, there was some fucking Nickelodeon and Disney and Cartoon Network had the best flash games in the world. Flash games, dude. But like no one goes online. I guess they do it on their phone, but like phone games are such bullshit.

It's so different. It's so bullshit. It doesn't hit like a fucking fat-ass computer just fucking click. clack and and like you know like the game where it's like you have to like judge how far to shoot an arrow at another stick figure i love that like now it's like oh marvel contested champions which is cool and i love and i play off but like it's overproduced like when you get a lot of hands when there's money in it more hands get on top of it it's like fuck you yeah i just want to pull back this thing and shoot an arrow into a stick figure's head and watch them bleed out on the ground

and he would bleed out and then like over I want to do the one where I put just fucking sandwiches on this Kim Possible, Rufus the rat fucking, you know, taco, put ingredients on this taco and Rufus could go send it out. Yeah, stuff like that. I don't mean to rain on any parade here. You guys sound a little boomery. If anything, by definition, it's not boomery. The point is like the mentality of like, oh, it's better back when and shit.

I mean, I don't know if, I don't want to sit there and say better. You don't get it because you don't like anything. Don't do that. You don't like it. Don't do that. You're afraid to like stuff. I like, I like. You don't like anything.

You don't like anything. It goes as far as can you watch it. That's it. I like it. If I could watch it, I'm going to like it. Okay. That's not all the way true. You don't like anything.

What does that have to do? You don't like anything that you can't, that, I don't know. I acknowledge, I acknowledge, like, how that can come off sounding boomery. I'm not going to be one of those people that's like everything was better back then, because there was a lot of blind spots. that our society had and things that were exploited and like the way that people were treated gay marriage wasn't legal in our lifetime that's fucking hilarious dude yes hilarious is the wrong word we mean it's insane we know what you're saying in our life to take that out

job but in our lifetime like that was a thing bro like I'm not sitting there and say because there are a lot of things that we could be critical about and are legitimately better now But like, in the ways at which people, like, enjoyed themselves, like, the simplicity had a lot more enjoyment in it. Where now everything is monetized. And, like, yes, we are one of the, we are kind of part of that problem, I guess, in a sense. But, like, there was a lot more of a feeling of like, it just was less evil back then. There was more community, I would say. There absolutely what?

I feel like there's more community now. Really? There's, I. But the irony is that in the accessibility to that community, there is less. Well, what scale are we talking? Because Frankie's skating around a grand scale. And I'm talking about like, like, there's also more opportunities for many communities everywhere now on the internet and everything. I agree.

No, in that way. I meant like, you know, there's a lot of people, especially the young generation, that like don't socialize in the way that we were forced to when we were under. That's fair. But there's also more people. that do too. You know, there's two sides. I think that there is definitely more accessibility to those forms of socialization, but with

that accessibility and the need to place an identity in those groups, there just naturally becomes more separation. Like, like, for instance, Star Wars has always been a thing, but now Star Wars and its fandom

is more divided than it has ever been. And that's because that's because, It just sounds so traumatic I mean bro People have been bullied out of the dude that played young Anakin Skywalker Jake Lloyd like his life was fucking ruined Because of the division of Star Wars fans

Like the little kid? Why they don't fuck with him? Bro he like went and had like severe mental health issues As a result of the online bullying The kid was like eight years old That is so fucking crazy So Kelly Marie Tran was like In the most recent Star Wars trilogy

she was basically bullied into like, bro, can I just say also people who get on the internet and say random things to celebrities because they're like, they'll never read it. Bro, they're going to see it. Especially if a lot of you are saying that. And it's a psychotic thing

to do, in my opinion. Yeah. And also people have been like, this is the job you signed up for. Oh, what? No, it isn't. You sign up for eyes on you. You don't sign up for the pieces of shit that just feel like now,

because you're in that position, they could say whatever they want. I don't know. It's like you're, especially people that are like in it for like, you know, people who want to be actors or something. It's like, I enjoy this art form and I was always into theater and stuff. And then it starts working out and it's supposed to be a great thing. But then, you know, the necessary evil that we're choosing to accept exists is like, well, you signed up for the fact that everyone's going to, you know, paparazzi is going to take pictures

of you when you look the worst. And, you know, you don't get to be insecure. cry about that and it doesn't matter and whatever like you signed up for it. It's like, well, I just really enjoyed acting and now you're taking pictures of me and I'm completely insecure by myself. Yeah. So thanks. Or they zoom in a thousand times lens on a, on your

wiener while you're on a boat. Yo, that, honestly, they did that to Bieber. Years ago. They were like on a boat and they like zoomed in crazy and like got a picture of him with his like dick out. And then he talked about it on Ellen, which is bananas by the way. Also, I mean, there's a lot of those Ellen clips that

the writing was on the wall she was not very nice you know there's a lot of shit like that but you can tell by the eyes um but you know I'm not kidding something like that happening to me would

I mean it's just your penis yeah but I would end up in jail ah I see I wouldn't do anything but I would definitely make phone calls to what is that

I want the person who took that picture to get their fucking ass whooped got it like what is wrong with you like that psychotic And also the people who buy it are like, yes, you're nuts. You're crazy.

These are peeps. Yeah. These are peeps. Also, you know, unwanted taking pictures of a peeps. It's crazy. Yeah. And like, we're doing that. I didn't know.

You know, the story of like when he's like older, the full story of looking at his life through like a benefit of hindsight lens is going to be insane because there is so much like that is the, that is the first and most intense example of like that parisocial relationship that the world has had with a celebrity. That's not even, in our lifetime. That's not even that bad probably. Like the, that one spot. His documentary is going to be great.

Bro, he's the legend. I'll fuck with the beeps hard. We also fuck with. We fucking rocket money hard. You know why? Because they're putting money back in your pocket, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. They're an all in one personal finance app that is just focused on putting the money back in your

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I like using the budgeting act. I don't, the budgeting act, the budgeting tool, I don't really like to spend money without knowing how it's going out. So using the budgeting tool is like a big one. And definitely just make sure that you're not, you know, using subscriptions that you're signed up for that you don't really want anyway. You know what I mean? So it's definitely good for that too. So rockermany.com slash basement. We also have a Cachava. Kachava is lovely. Okay. It has, it's an all in one nutrition. It's like all in one nutrition. All right. It's a powder. Take a scoop. You put it in some water. You shake it up. And it's got a bunch of different stuff for energy, digestion, strength, metabolism, cognition, and

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But yeah, big fan of Kachava, before they were even a sponsor on this show. Love them. Keith loves them like crazy. So go check them out. But you can go to Kachava.com and use the code basement for 15% off of your first order. Okay, that is spelled K-A-C-H-A-V-com slash basement, save 15. percent off of your first order. Enjoy that. Get the chocolate. Trust me. Try. Also, I wanted to talk about this. Frank, you brought this up, but you said that scientists turned

yeast from the stomach of an old mummy into bread. Yeah. So they went into like a 5,000, it was like 5,400-year-old mummy. They took yeast. The yeast is in the stomach after that long? What is yeast? It might have been the crumple. Is that the asshole? No. Pussy. There's no yeast in a bun? In a pussy? Why am I saying that vagina?

Pussy. Yeah, I'm saying it like, why am I doing porn right now? This is tough. Yeah, they took it and they made, you know what's funny? It's like the article I read was like, they made good bread. And it was like, they specified good. Not like, whoa, dude. How is it?

Dude. Is that a violation of the mummy? Yeah. It's my yeast. That's your shit. Yeah. Like, don't fucking take your. had yeast?

I hope. Or is that just... I don't think a boys got yeast. I think it's just... What do we have then? Buts. Yeah.

And piss. No. I don't think. Yep. Men have yeast? We got yeast? Where's our shit at? You get yeast infections.

I've never gotten one. I know men can get yeast infection. I've never gotten one. We know someone that has gotten a yeast infection. What? The head of the penis. The head of the pieces is got a yeast. What?

The head of the penis has the yeast? It can. No, men can get yeast infection. Balantus. Who's that? What's that? What it's called? Balantus?

Honestly, it sounds like a crazy city. Like, awesome, like, it's been gone for years, but welcome back to Balantus. So, wait, I have a city of yeast on the tip of my wiener. I don't know if you have right now. I haven't seen, but you can. Oh, is that? It's bad if I have it. Yes.

Yeah, not good. Yes. A yeast infection is not good. No, but do you just have it? I don't think guys have it. I think women. You just said? You can.

It can form. It can form and that's not a good. But I think like there is a natural... Because girls don't just have it either. With... Don't... They have like a yeast? No, it's bacteria that they get after...

Oh, I thought women have yeast just like... I think they got that shit locked, loaded, ready in the chamber, just in case. Yeah, I think they have, like, good yeast. Because, like, remember there was years ago, there was, like, some streamer that made, like, beer with her yeast? Oh, Amaranth, she does everything. Yeah, you're right. Wait, why do you know exactly who would...

Because it didn't taste that great. Uh, can dida. Hold up. You had yeast, dude? No, I'm kidding. Wait, all beer has yeast. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a joke, yeah, no, no, no.

It's a joke, it's a joke. Yeah, yeah. We'll say. Whoa, wow, yeah. Six percent. Um, you, what? Women naturally have yeast. It's called candida.

Canada, dude? Canada? But Canada? They got a, Canada shit, dude. Canadian yeast. Oh, Canada. Your fucking shit is yeasty. Yeasty.

Yeasty. in your clam That was pretty good honestly I didn't like that You didn't like clam No it was good

phonetically but like physically it hurt Okay There was like What movie was it Where they referred to A vagina as a clam And I was just like

I don't like when dudes Say shit like that Yeah I'll be like Oh the clam box There's like Three words I'll accept Outside of that

I'm not into it Oh Yeah We have Canada too We do We have Canada Yeah we do Where is it

Where's our naturally occurring? It's just as on the skin and in their body. I've got can it on me? So, like, you could take scrapes of your skin and you could make sourdough bread? It seems more penile. Pee-pee? Yeah. So dip your dick in, like, bread.

Do? Right. And you might fucking go nuts on some bread. You know that people would buy your dick bread. I would try it. You'd try your own dick bread? Is that, what is that gay or something? I mean, it's right there.

You're eating your dick You're knocking on the door, brother I mean, I had a dream about my Eating my penis Remember that? That's right, you were chewing on it like a chicken wing Yeah, I Crazy that you went chicken wing

And you didn't go like footlong hero or something Bro, not only was I chewing on my penis And I dreamed like a chicken wing But it was the most tender meat Yeah, you have often spoken about I gotta be honest You speak about You spoke about this

And have bringing it up again To the point where like You seem like You kind of wish you could try it Like you want a slow roasted smoked dick. No, I do not. I do not want a slow roasted smoke dick. I can imagine. I mean, you're now getting crazy with all the adjectives with the cooking adjectives. So I know you're sitting there and you're talking about the how tender and juicy. I said my first of all I said my own was tender in my dream.

You're over there like, oh, I would throw it on the black stone. I never said that. I never said I was doing that. I never in any point in time said that. You tell me a guy fiatty made a penis for you. No? I don't know how to have... No. Diner's, drive-ins, and dicks. Oh, slap some of this gangster sauce on this cock, and it's fucking delicious sauce bombs. Oh, man, this cock is donkey. Oh, my God, this fucking dick is gangster, brother. You got to eat some of it.

Today we're in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and we stopped at Rudy's to get some stick. We're in Louisiana, home of the smoke cock, and today? We're in Jacksonville, Florida, and we're trying to get our hands on some big balls and dicks. What are we? Oh my God. All right, I'm here with Chef Roman. Chef, tell me how you absolutely just pulverized this beef into mouth-watering tendery goodness. A breaded dick.

He's got two rings on each finger. Let me taste that. That's gangster. It's savory. It's sweet. And it's dick for sure. Welcome to Guy Fieri's dumpster restaurant. Today, we're putting cocks in a garbage can over nachos.

Yo, let me tell you something. If there's another level of demonetization, We have just discovered it. I don't, we might owe them money. Oh man. Who's the CEO at YouTube? He's just gonna hit us up. Guys, come on. What was his name? We looked him up.

Yeah, Paul. No, Neil, right? Neil, Neil. It's Neil. This is good fun. Come on, Neil. This is all good fun, dude. Yeah.

Oh, man. Fucking guy. Welcome to Triple G. You can only shop in the aisles that have cocks. We got no chance. We've enlisted the best chefs. James Beard Award winning chefs to cook penis. These chefs are going to work for 24 hours.

Every hour, one is going to get eliminated. But every hour, we're as judges are going to eat it. And every dollar that we win is going to be a proceed to feeding people in America. Chef, you have three Michelin Stars. What does it feel like to be in the Triple G house cooking the, this penis. Gordon Ramsey goes to a restaurant. It's like, it's fucking awful.

This cock tastes like dick. We just did 10 minutes on dick. I don't even know what to... Yo, what an episode. Oh, I'd hate to see the thumbnail that's made for this one. I mean, you know, we've... I think I'm just...

Yeah. All right, all right. I can't wait to see what we just notes say right now. Yeah, it was not. Those are going to be crazy. Oh, God. So, what were we even talking? The mummified weed.

The mummified shit. I would do that. They said they were going to make, they said they made bread, but they also would make beer. I would drink a mummy's dick beer. I mean, you drank a beer that was made with bear shit. That's true. And it tastes like beer. And it tastes like beer.

So like, there's nothing stopping you. Yeah, like a mummy's. So be honest. All right. Here we are. I know that like beer gets very hot when they're making it. When they're making it. Oh, I don't even know that.

If they sold. sold like how they did with like Sydney Sweeney's bathwater. Yeah. But it was just like, oh, we just had a guy swim naked in here for an hour and then we bottled it and it's, it's, we're calling it a ball beer. Who's the guy?

That makes a difference? You're saying some guy, so I don't know. Jalen Brunson. What are you talking about? I'm emptying the fucking keg. Yeah. If it's Jalen Brunson, if it's Anyone on the Knicks right now?

Okay. Brian Cranston. Yeah. Will Smith? Yeah. A lesson to the Essex. I need to find someone. I would be like, wait a sec.

Hitler. What are we? We can't. I didn't think that... It could get worse. And now... I was just trying to think of the worst person I could think of. Which apparently...

according to some places in America, that's not the worst. Yeah. Oh, God. You would, so. I'm pretty sure we said COVID at some point, too, in here. Well, now we definitely didn't. You just hammered it. That we definitely did. Let's throw out a vaccine while we're at it. All the words, Neil, how about that? Stick it up to the morning. That's what that's for you, Neil. Oh, man. Jokes aside. Yep. Jokes aside. I would drink the beer. If I swam in a vat of beer and sold it just for a, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would try. I would try it. I would.

Yeah. Interesting. Because if it was bad, then I would be like, bro. Your beer sucks. Yeah. Your ball beer sucks. The bread, I guess, is tougher. I feel like you'd be able to, like, taste more of the balls and the bread.

Yeah, because I think at a certain point, any of the, like, human taste would just go away in the fermentation process of the alcohol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, you know. Once you butter the bread, some buttery balls, I guess. but like how are they able to extract yeast out of someone who's been dead for that long well bro we know this now because becca's been crushing sourdough

those starters like you can dry them out and put them like literally you dry out a sourdough starter and like it will stay good forever this was also a frozen mummy does that matter yeah because I think it preserves bacteria yeah but even in the freezer things have a shelf life Like, it's not like they're good forever frozen.

I never really thought about that. Sublimination, sublimation. I forgot the exact term, but like, it's the process of going from solid to gaseous. So, like, have you ever, like, had a freezer and you left, like, an ice cube in the freezer? And eventually, like, it doesn't melt, but the ice cube shrinks. I guess. It's the process of going from a frozen, like a solid to a gash, a gaseous state. And what makes, what's the catalyst there?

Is it just time? I don't know. That's a great question. Look up the science behind sublimination or sublimation. I'm already on it. Yeah? I don't know. Gotcha.

Okay. We're trying to save this goddamn episode. Save it from what? This is one of the best episodes we've done in the line. I mean like, we're trying to balance off the science. A good example is like dry ice, you know, how... Yeah, but that's not... Dry ice is a different chemical, brother.

That's not... It's not... Let me ask you guys. That's not what it's telling me here. Do you guys like dry ice? Like if you get like a, if you're at a cocktail bar and they bring some shit out, that's smoking. You fuck with that? Hell.

Brother. Yes. I think that all drinks should be served smoked. Not smoked, but like smoking. Like with like fog about. I went to this bar, this like cocktail bar. And I actually went to a restaurant and then the owner was like, oh, hey. And then it was like, we opened a cocktail bar downstairs if you want to try it out.

I was like, sure. So I went. and all the drinks, like you order a drink, and they put it in like a tray, like the two cups, and then they fill the tray with like the smoke and shit. So they put it in front. It's like there's smoke everywhere. What was that one place that was huge for a while where they had like candy drinks or sugar drinks? Was it called sugar bar?

Oh, um, you know what I'm talking about, right? Sugar freak? Sugar freak, sugar fuck, sugar balls? Sugar, sugar, I don't know. Sugar, sugar, sugar. gag. Yeah, it's not that. But, like, and it came with, like, a bubble, and, like, in the bubble was dry ice,

and then they pop it, and it would, like... Yeah, yeah. You know, like, it was the fucking undertaker. I kind of fuck with desserts when they have, like, a presentation like that, where it's, like, oh, we take this, and we go like that. The only one that I've never gotten is I'm not a big fan of cooked fruit is, like bananas foster. What's that?

It's where the bananas come on fire. Or, like, baked Alaska. I've never gotten that one, either. But that one, they light that shit ablaze, bitch. What's that? I think it's like, there's like a cream and they light it up. They just light cream on fire? Well, we went to that place that Steakhouse in Austin.

They do the fire steak, remember? The salt comes on fire. Yeah. That shit was sick. I kind of like when they do that type of shit, too, where they, like, pour fire on shit. And I'm like, this is dope. I almost bought a kitchen torch the other day. What do you need that for?

I'm not kidding you. I would use it for nothing. Yeah. But like, I was like this would be cool, my hand. Or like lighting a cigar. That's what my dad does. Yeah. My dad lights his cigars, black and miles, with a full-on plumbers torch.

Right. Oh, yeah, and it's like, got the tank attached to it. It's got the giant tank. And literally, he'll be like, I'm going to light a cigar. And I'm like, so overkill, Dad. Also, Dange? Could be Dange. I mean, I've been plumber.

Dory five years. I don't care A bit plumber That's what his fucking defense would be My friends have a couple of those torches I'm into it I like Zippo lighters It's not for cooking

Dude Zippos I'm a whore for Zippos I don't like how the The gas dries up I mean that's That's normal I mean I mean you just fill it with the liquid You could buy the liquid for like eight bucks

Yeah but then it dries Like if you don't use all of it Like it just goes away If it's in the tin It should say good for a long, long time. But like, the one that I bought, it's like you, you stuff it with like a... It's like a cotton or something, yeah.

And then you pour the whatever in, but like, and then eventually if you don't use it, it just like kind of evaporates. Dude, I love it because, like, I feel like I'm going to drop it on like a trail of gas and blow something up. I would love to blow things up like that. Like, just like... So close. Shing!

And just, like, walk away in, like, a leather jacket. It is really cool that in movies like that, people walk away from the explosion because if I'm exploding something, I'm looking. I don't have it in me to like, not love. Well, those are well-experienced expletors. They're, they're, like, desensitized. They're, like, desensitized. They're, like, they're exploding all the time. Like, of course, like, Wolverine is walking away because, like, no one gives a fuck.

He's done so many expletings. Yeah. You know? Isn't it funny how Hollywood decided that, like, walking out of an exploded house is fire. Like, it is. It is also, like, the concussive. blast of the explosion would fuck you up. Put you down.

Because that's like, that will get you. I don't like explosions, man. Too loud. I don't like them. Have you ever seen an explosion like in Percy? The only explosion that I've seen, I'm not going to make that joke. Don't, don't, don't, don't. We're already there.

We're already in trouble. No, no, no. But I did see, remember when Universal had that ride? Yeah, like a stunt show. And it would like Waterworld? They would have like explosions, but it was like hot. Well, yeah, you didn't see it. You saw more of a like controlled explosion.

Not even an explosion. It was just like a shooting of fire. Yeah. They explode some things, some of the stunt shows. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know if I've ever seen like an actual explosion.

I'm trying to think. I can't remember like if I have seen an explosion or not. What are we counting as explosion? Like boom. Like an explosion. What have you? talking about it. We know what an explosion. What an awesome name for it too.

Explosion. Explosion? Congrats to the word, people. It's almost like, yeah, whoever, yeah, yeah, you're right. The Latin people, I don't know. I don't even know. Yeah, where does the term explode come from? It's probably like Greek and it was like, Explubia.

Explosion. Like, if I'm, I feel like you can meet like a Baltic dude and that's like his name. I feel like that's something your brother would name another child if they had another boy. I love you Tom Oh we're thinking Explosion Yeah

I mean honestly Like peak need for speed underground Too Frankie might have named his child Explosion Yeah if I had to live by the decisions That I was making at that age It would be a completely different world Yeah your kids' names would be

Explosion Steve McNair And fucking You know Simple plan Yeah what I'd have weird tattoos or NBA inside drive

Jesus what a game yeah what a game that is a good one anything on the origins of the word explosion yeah there's a couple things Rome it's a well first let's go no way Italians let's go Latin for Italians it's a explodee that's French Explodier I don't know how you how do you spell it E X P-L-O-D-E-R-E Explodary Explodary that's probably it because they love to do that S.A. Quamvedere and shit like that. And it actually means to drive out by clapping or to clap someone off stage, similar to the word applause, honestly. It's like clapping. Whoa. Aplaws explosion.

Not close enough, honestly. What was that? I meant more the meaning, not the phonetics. So like when we were done at MSG, they exploded us off the stage. I think it's more negative, but technically you guys were exploded on the MSG stage. Yeah. Damn. I mean, I was about to... I'm cool with that, honestly. Because I don't think I've ever exploded. I've exploded.

There, Neil. He's still going, Neil. He's still going. Horns up, it's fine. Huh? What do you say? Horns up? That's fine.

Is that like a Texas thing? It's like a horny thing. Oh, it is a Texas thing. You're right. Horns up, it's fine. Where are you, brother? Horns up, it's fine. Is that like a motto you live by?

Sure. So You want more? I feel like I gave a lot there No, I'm more concerned with how horny you are during this recording I'm not right now You two seem way more horny than me Yeah, I do

I definitely don't I definitely don't Yeah, I mean you got the fishnet shirt on So you're pretty like Oh, you are, you're taking a page out of the Joe Sanagado Book for shirts I need way more nipples Not me, I'm buttoned up

Like, you're never catching me nipples out. Even when I have, I have shirts that are more, like, knitted. I mean, we've seen your nipples on the internet. You wore a tape suit. Taped up, brother. Yeah, but that was like, damn, that was crazy that I did that. You remember how bad I broke out in a rash? Bro, yes, I remember that stuff coming off of you and it was insane.

Dude, I broke out in a really bad rash right here because it, like, clogged my pores. Bro, also, if you want to humble yourself, tape up your body a little bit and then put the tape off, it's disgusting. Yo, it was... Well, hold on. It literally is. Hold on. I was the one that got taped up. You want to be humbled?

Look at him. It's filthy pigs. No, I've done it too, though. Not taped fully up, but I've like... Have you? Yeah, yeah. And then when you get like tape on you and then you pull it off, you're like, yo, why is this like cloudy?

I think... Well, yeah, because it's pulling the natural oils off of your skin. Oh, all the Canada on me. All that Canada is filthy. Canada yeast. Great callback, dude. Absolutely great callback. It's all in here,

I think we should do another Patreon goal that Joe this time has to do the tape suit. First of all, we got to do our, uh... Oh, yeah. That's right. Which is coming. We should probably say. You should probably say that. Next week.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Next. Well, actually, no. Oh, shit. This is a week. If you're on Patreon and seen it, it'll be this Friday. This has been so off the rails.

I forget that this is a weekly episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we are doing it on Patreon. Uh, double, what was it? Edward Forty Hands. Yeah. I was going to call it something on. Well, you could also tell them that it.

it's it's already up if they want to sign up for Patreon Oh you can! You're on the show too, so you just said it. Yeah, why don't you fucking say it? You're right. Go sign up. Yeah, it's on it's on a it's on Patreon right now where I mean I'm assuming that me and Frank are going to be like a little toasty that day for sure. Yeah. If all goes well, it's up because you know we could run into some issues. I'm figuring I don't know how like I know how I'm going to get home because you're going to send a car but like I'm going to have to bring bottles in the car with me for piss. And like I'm not even kidding. I'm

worried. Gatorade bottles. About peeing? Yeah, wouldn't you? Like, think about it like this. You, like, we might want to record that first and let that kind of be, like, set the tone and tenor for the rest of the day. That's scary. Why? Because then we're going, like, drunk into a full episode. That's a bad idea. We could do, we could do Patreon. Do we have a Santa got a studios video to do that day? We always do. So then we can do that. And then hopefully it'd be sober up a little bit by time the weekly rolls over. We can try it. We can try it.

Okay. The old college try. We'll figure it out. Yeah. But listen, thank you guys so much for... Yeah, what an episode. I'm not kidding. Oh, man.

This one ain't going to end up on an airplane. No. No. Yeah, you know, it's going to be like, no. Not this. You did 10 minutes about cooking cock. I can't wait to see that on the internet. But yeah, thank you guys so much, Frank.

Frank Alvarez is all over the place. Go check out patreon.com slash the basement yard. Again, if you're seeing this on Patreon, this week, June 17th at 12 p.m. Eastern, the show's, presale code for the shows, pre-sale availability for the shows. Find it at the basementyard.com. And the pre-sell code is basement.

Very easy to remember. It's literally our name. Go check it out. Ant. Find me at Aunt Prisco on Instagram. You guys go follow me at Joe Sandigar. Go follow the show at the Baseman on a TikTok and Instagram. all see you guys next time bye