The Basement Yard - #562 - Should We Call The Doctor?

Episode Date: July 6, 2026

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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. Yep. It's us. We're here. You want to show me your bug bites again? What happened to you? I got attacked.

I got attacked by buggies. Like, just sitting outside. As Ruby and Maeve called them Skibitos. Skibitos. Skibitos got me. Yeah, dude, they fucking, they took my shit and they pounded it out.

There's other ways to say that. Sure. I'm sure. I'm sure there's other ways to say that. Yeah, but that's all right. They're actually not itchy. They're at that point where, like, they're just kind of, like, annoying.

Yeah, you know. They're like raised. I like to smack them though. I like to smack them too. Oh, I love smacking a mosquito bite. Do it. I don't like, I really get to unload on myself. Spank it.

Hmm. Yeah. That's crazy. If you got something stuck in your ass, how long would it take you to go to the hospital? Hello, welcome to the show. Yeah, thanks for stopping by. We're talking about scibitos. You just went full in.

What was the question? No work. If you got something stuck. in your butt. Yeah. How long would it take you to go to the hospital? First, let me just say this.

A minute and a half in. Can we say that? Can I say that the time wouldn't, it wouldn't be a long time? Well, I mean, it would also depend what it is, right? No. If I had anything, Frank, if I had anything, a foreign object stuck in my rectum colon, whatever, we're talking about it. A grain of rice.

Okay, and I know about it Because I wouldn't know that there's rice in my ass. You know, I'm sure there's people that do ass rice play. Are you sure? I know. I would say that I would probably spend more time thinking about how I'm going to discreetly get to the hospital and like no one finding out about this Because I'm certainly not telling anyone that I know

That I have something lodged in me. I mean, I imagine that if you're putting something in your ass, someone knows that you're into it. So like there might be one person you might be able to like confidently. That's not true. I imagine. Maybe if I was like really into it and I was like, I don't want to tell anyone they're going to think I'm weird. Who would be? If you had to tell anyone, who would it be?

Who would I tell that I have something in my ass? Yeah. Nicole? Oh, I was going to say your mom. Yeah, all right. My mom? Honestly, yeah. Literally down there with like Bill Nye.

Really? Well, Bill Nye might be able to help you out. Yeah, actually, Bill Nye would be higher than I would think, I think. Bill Nye. Just because he would probably have some sort of information. I don't know. But my mom would be dead last. calling anyone it's it's dr mike i'm not i'm not calling dr mike how many times you think dr mike

has gotten that call hey doc listen hope all as well everything cool how's life cool sweet um what do i do here i have a yo yo in my butt listen i know what you're a yo yo i know that you're supposed to do this thing with small talk before you like ask for something you're not doing if something is lodged to my ass i'm skipping that all together we're going right to the question you're going a hundred percent balls to the wall something in my ass fire the sound the alarms i'm not even saying hello. They're going to say hello and I'm going to say, we have a problem. Really? Yeah. And I'm like, I have this thing and it's in my butt and I don't know what to do. Do I go to the hospital? Which I do. Should I not stand up too quickly? Because I'd be worried about like shifting my shirt on. I imagine like,

depending on what it is. So like if we're thinking about things that you're more likely to put in your butt, they're going to be round. You know, not as intense edges. Uh, you know, so like could it really do a ton of damage in there? Now, if you were putting in like a shiriken, you got a problem. Is that like the Ninja Star? Yeah. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. But like even if something like a marble, right? Not like huge, but what if you put a marble in there and then you realized where'd that go?

What if they put a marble in and then you smack both sides of your cheek, like your ass cheeks and it shoots out? What do you mean what? You mean the doctor? I'm going to get to the hospital. What if you get there and they're just like, there's a secret to this? You got to it's like you got to bongo smack both your ass cheeks and things. will just fly out. You can turn yourself into a fucking weapon, dude. Hard to aim.

Hard to aim. Bro, with practice, just like anything else. Come on, dude. You put it in your 10,000 hours and you master it. Guinness, there is a Guinness World Record that has not yet been broken, and it's that one right there. And that one will remain unbroken. A most accurate shot of a marble out of an ass.

It sounds like you'd go pretty quick. I would go so quickly. It's insane. Yeah, I'd be petrified. I'd be so scared. Like, even if it was something. like a marble. It'd be bigger. Certainly if it was like a tack, if it was like something sharp, I would literally just be,

I'd stop and then I'd call and I'd just lay. Would you like stay still? Mad still. If it was sharp. If it was a marble, I would probably like get up and let it swish around. It'd be bigger than a... You wouldn't like try to take like a laxative of some sort? Oh no.

You don't think that'd help. I'm sure it would, like, but I don't have that kind of time. People get stuff. stuck in their butt, dude. We've done enough episodes of this show and gone over enough stories of people like sitting on like, remember there was this one guy in some country that like sat

and like shoved like an active bomb in his asshole or something like that. Excuse the shit out of me. You know, remember that? We talked about this years ago. They put a whole bomb? Like a grenade? Not a grenade. A grenade's not a bomb, brother. It was like a head of a bomb. Okay. Well, that's insane.

It was like an old one that they found like a world War II relic that was... Stick of dynamite? Not a stick of dynamite. A bomb. Bomb is like a big umbrella term. Everything's a bomb. No. Bombs are things that are like within like a metal

or plastic casing and that go boom. Grenade. But those, that's more about the shrapnel than the explosion. Huh? I think that like a grenade is different. I guess a grenade is a handheld bomb. I think I would stay on the toilet

for hours. Like I'd come into work before going to the hospital. With something stuck in your ass? Yeah. I'm waiting. I'm not going to the hospital. Would you, would you share with us?

Like, yo, I accidentally. I would respectfully not want to know. I'd want to know. I would tell you. If you say, yo, if you like,

yo, I have a Hulk Hogan action figure stuck in my ass right now. Why do you go Hulk Hogan action figure? I don't know what the hell he's doing over there. What are you asking me? He's a really good point. That's a great point. And then you'd be like,

What do I do? And I beg you to get you to a hospital, dude. What, yeah, I feel like telling you would get me to the hospital faster than I would want to be. I would get you to the hospital and I would be dead seriously the entire time, but my fingers would be exhausted from telling everyone I know through text. Oh, thank God. Oh, my God. My fingers, you tell me something stuck in your ass, my fingers would be exhausted. No, that's not what I was said.

You would tell me, though, if you had something stuck in your butt, you wouldn't try to, like, scoop it out yourself? Frank. Of course. I'm clawing at this thing like a honey badger. I'm assuming that that doesn't work. Like I can't get it out. But I'd have my whole hand in my ass before. I mean, I imagine there are ways you could probably get stuff out yourself. I would be doing... Oh, this sounds awful. I would be doing breathing exercises and being like, how do I loosen up my life and like do yoga for my butt? I would like run into the end of a table with like my stomach. Yeah, you're insane. I would just... You're thinking of this in like a very acne type of way. Yeah, I am. Like drop an anvil on my stomach and it shoots out. my butt or whatever. Yeah, like, I'm gonna run into a table, dude. I'm trying to do breathing exercises. I legitimately might do like a downward dog, like a downward dog and then just like, or just like, what's the opposite of a downward dog? Doesn't downward dog kind of push it more in? Yeah, an upward cat. Yeah, an upward cat. You just jumping jacks. Oh, um, that might hurt me though. I do long jump. My answer, by the way, like if I was fitting around and I was having a, you know, I was doing whatever and all of a sudden I was kind of like the thing ate it I'd be like yo and then I then I then I

trying ate it yeah his ass is the thing and it's just like it just went I'd be like what the fuck and I try to get it and if I couldn't get it and I legitimately couldn't even like touch it I would be in so much panic mode and I'd be listen I try to stay away from AI but I swear to God it'd be taken out entire the Amazon would be gone by the time I would be looking up like how do I get this out? I'd be so panicked. I'd be so scared. Hey, I would be like, well, just so you know, you're not crazy. You're not crazy for shoving things in your ass, and I fully support it. Hey, that Roku remote, it belongs up there. Good for you.

First things first. I bet that happens a lot. Remotes are, it's probably a big one. Oh, a remotes is definitely. I mean, can you look up up an Apple TV remote? Sure. Can you Google? No, but that's too thin. They're doing a Roku remote, 100%, because that's a little more bulbous. Can you look up the, most commonly extracted items from an asshole. What do you think? Bye-bye monetization. You ask the question, we're going.

You're asking the asshole question. I'm swimming in the fucking Amazon River. I think that people probably, a fruit. Cucumbers? Yeah. I could, I could see that. I can see that. I can see that.

Cucumbers? I can see that. Straight in my ass. Pickles. kind of cucumber adjacent, I guess. Sure. Pickles of fruit. Doesn't have any bearing on the conversation.

Yeah, no, it would be very quick for me. Yeah, I mean, I would... What about you? Because I feel like you'd be very like... I mean, we'd all be very embarrassed, but I feel like you'd be like, yo, I don't... Dude, embarrassed, brother.

I might just sit there and wither away and die before I tell... You just live with it? Just live with it in my ass. Like an old bullet? Yeah. Exactly. it's been in my arms

because I got shot in the 20s. Yeah. I would legitimately, like, no one's going to know. I will live for the rest of my life with this discomfort because there's no chance. Because I know that, like,

hippilaws protect people from, like, telling it, but, like, they'll be like. But do they? They'll be like, I can't say who it was, but there was a popular YouTuber that came in and had something

shoved it. They have a big podcast. I can't say who it is. Yeah. And they had this conversation. Yeah. I'm petrified. I'm like legitimately like no one's finding out. But did you Google the most commonly found items in an asshole? Unfortunately, yeah, I did. Is there answers? It's just like sex toys obviously. Oh, I don't know if I could say that word. But sex? I don't know. You know how they do.

The context of this conversation, we're beyond that. Yeah, but whose fault was that really? Sex toys makes sense because they make, they make, they make them like to go in. So like I imagine there's a chance where they're going to get. A little, a little play. with a tail? Now you're a raccoon. Boom. I mean, you got a, you got a rip cord if you need it, though. Oh, well, that's why. Yeah, the tail's kind of handy. Flaired base, remember, keep it safe. And then there's...

He knows the engineering terms for it. Flaired base. Just be safe. Like, everyone else. You said that like it was Nike, just do it. Flared base. Keep safe. Just protecting people out here. Then it's like glass. That was a common. Oh, my God. Why do people do that?

And the obvious example that we know of that was the famous video from when we were young men. Yeah, but that guy was putting a mason jar in his bunghole. That's crazy. Oh, I can't even, I cannot even discuss it. Candles? Candles is a good one. Do you think they light them and like walk around with them like they're a... Wait, what do you, why are you walking like that? What do you mean? Were you holding them upside out?

Yeah, what are you talking about? Oh. If I... Not I. But, like, if someone put a candle to someone's ass and then just, like, held them and, like, walked around, like, they were, like, looking around. Oh, I see. Like, if they were, like, if they're in a cave or something. I was thinking if you're by yourself and you put a candle in your butt.

And? And then you walk around. I don't know. I mean, I guess you could, but the flame would, like, burn upward and it'd get you. You'd probably burn your butt a little bit. I think the idea of someone putting a candle in their butt is they want the wax to drip around their ass. This is going to be tough, actually. Yeah, this is going to be a rough one.

Gone, brother. Gone. Don't start this conversation unless you want to fucking... What about wax, like that type of thing? You think you'd be into that type of thing? I think I saw an old... You kind of like wax. Becca, like, poured wax on my arm or my hand or something like that.

But, like, in a sexual way, I can't... I don't think so. I don't think I've done that. I can't recall if I have. I haven't. But, like, the people that, like, pour fucking wax. And they're like, oh! Chill, brother.

much. Yeah, dude, you just had an oh. 2, 2, 2. Oh! You did it. I don't was intimidated you. I don't know if I'd make it long enough for the wax to burn. With a candle in your ass, dude?

Yeah. Yeah, you would. Think so? Flaired base. Flaired base. Flaird base. Oh, so long candle. Oh, yeah, like one of the, like, you know, like candelabra candles.

You know what I mean? Yeah, like a witch's candle, so it's a little ribbed. Don't need a shorter candle. You know what I mean? enough for me i'm saying for i mean what i don't know what which is candles you're talking i'm talking about the ones that like looks so burnt and they're like the waxes down the side so it's all like man man he's looking for a yankee candle yeah i know i'm not looking for a yankee candle you're going yeah he i know exactly what candles he's putting in what candle you're going for

i'm not putting any candle in my ass neither am i you're going for the old like jesus candles which ones are those the ones that come in the glass no and the old like hispanic women pray over them? No, I'm not. 100%. I mean, first of all, you know me. If it means I'm a prude, nothing is going near my butt. I'm not letting anybody know.

Ever. Ever, dude. Wait, how long are you going? I'll be on there for a while. On there? The toilet, I'm assuming. But I would be afraid of passing something through my body like that. But I already went up.

I mean, I would also, I guess. I guess. It was like ripped something on the way out. I don't know. Something to be concerned about too would be like whatever it is that would be going in there. Like could it be potentially like chemically harmful? Oh, I'm certain it is. What's good that could go in your bond?

A match. Well, no, no, correct. There is no nothing good. Outside of maybe fruit. Yeah, I don't know. Get some vitamins. Yeah, right through the bloodstream. Vegetable.

Cucumber. You want that vitamin C? Boom. Put an orange up there. Is there any like numbers on like how often people go into the ER? like amount of butthole injuries per year. What's the... Not particularly.

What site is holding that information? Listen, man. I mean, I was going to say text or call Dr. Mike, but we've been calling too many people. Definitely not going to ask him. Oh, he would be pumped to tell us. He would be pumped to talk about it. He'd be pumped. He would absolutely be like...

But he's a nice guy. He's not going to like, you know, break the laws. No, of course not. He wouldn't do that. He would lose his livelihood. Yeah. You know, but he would... He could tell us that it has happened, but he can't tell us who would have

happen too. I'm sure it happens with like, you know, dildo, dildies. Dildy. Dildies. Yeah, a couple dildy. Yeah, they definitely, uh, you know, sometimes they get sucked up there. Around, around, around 4,000 emergency room visits, uh, per year. That's not that many. I honestly thought that would have been more. Really? That's more than, that's like 10 a day. Yeah, across the entire country, brother. No, I know. 300 million people. 10 people a day? That's not a... That's crazy, though.

That's not a lot. I was expecting it to be a lot more than that. How many were you expecting? I was expecting like $50,000 a year. Whoa. I mean, there are weirdos and freaks. Not that they're weirdos. Wow.

King's shamer. That was a king shaming. I'm writing that. Write it down. I'm so sorry. That was not right of me. I apologize. I really can't.

I know how protective you guys are of that. So I don't want to upset either of you here. Yeah. There's only one way to make up for it. Get that candle out. What would you do if I legitimately during an episode stood up and pulled something out of my dog? Like pulled your pants down?

Like stepped off camera and bent over and pulled like a fucking chain out of my ass. Frank, first of all, that's the dumbest question you've ever asked, which is unbelievable. And two, I love the question. And three, if you did that, I wouldn't even believe it. I'd think that you were like now a magician. you're like yo and it's like the flags that are all connected i'd be like how are you doing that

but if you if you bent over and i'm looking down the barrel of this bh yeah yeah and i can see it coming out i would then feel like i'm not well i'm saying i would step off camera right that's what i'm saying watch it unfold right and unravel yeah what would your reaction be would you be an astonishment would you be like what are you doing i would be like you had that in there for all the time there are people that do that dude they'll be like i'm going to go to to work and I'm just going to like sit with hide a thing and my thing crazy I mean listen man I think it's cool which part yeah no I'm not king shaman anymore I recanted my last I recant I did it but I'm done I'm no longer I apologize oh whoever's a add on this

videos they're gonna be yeah we're gonna have to create some distance yeah we could we could make some buffer room here yeah I imagine that that's that's a frequent That's a toughie, yeah, no, I wouldn't really. But I swear to God, if you bent over and did that, I'd be like, this is... I always think of the jackass prank from the first movie where he put the little toy car up his butt. Oh, right. It's so... And he goes to, like, the doctor, and he's just like, don't tell anyone.

Don't tell anyone. Just go straight to the hospital. Yeah. And the guy was just like, it's okay. Whatever, whatever reason it's up there. Because I think he had, like, Ryan Dunn was just like, I fell asleep and the guy's played a prank on me and shoved a toy car up my butt. which that'd be a story that would be a story

that would be a story not a prank that I'm willing to take part in to be honest yeah I would be very very very very angry let's make that abundantly clear if what if we like had a night where we went out drinking and I woke up the next morning and you guys are like gotcha

we shoved a toy car into a condom and in your butt I'm letting you know right now I will be very mad and then the however I choose to get you back, we'll make sure that you never fuck with me like that ever again. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace.

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that because their platform allows you to create a professional-looking website very easily with all of their templates. They have pages of templates that you can choose from, and you choose the one that fits best for whatever it is that you're promoting or showcasing. And yeah, I've built websites with Squarespace all the time. We do them a ton around here. And yeah, it only takes, I've done it in a day easily. So it's very easy depending on what you need for the website you just switch out the photos and the the the text and then you have your website right there and you can also get your domain there and when you buy your domain you can hit to squarespace.com slash basement you will save 10% off of your first purchase of a website or a domain when you

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it's an app or a website that you go on and you can find N-Book, patient-reviewed doctors in your area, depending on what you need. They have, you know, whatever. You put in your, this is also something I've been using before they were even a sponsor on the show,

but you could search and compare local in-network doctors. You put in your insurance. and then the type of doctor you need, whether it's a primary care physician or a dermatologist or some other specialists, you put that in. They will show you the ones in your area, the ones that are closest to you, and their next available appointment, which is usually within 72 hours. I've literally gone the same day. I found something on my head. I got scared. I went to the dermatologist and he's like, you're good. It was great. So anyway, your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with Zocdoc. Head to Zocdoch.com slash basement to get

started and check that appointment off your to-do list. So that is z ocdoc.com slash basement. Go check it out. Go to your doctors. And you know what? While you're sitting in the waiting room waiting for your doctors or while you're sitting there and you're building a website on Squarespace, you could be listening to us and how? You can use the options on YouTube or you can go to Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement which is a subscription service that supports us and we give you some more of us over there go check out patreon it's a fun fun time it's a party i don't know i don't know if anyone's shoving anything in their butt over there but you know you never know what's going to happen on patreon you sign up for that first tier you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance and then that second tier

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What you could do is go on a web browser and sign up that way. If you use the smart app, well, it might take a couple extra bucks. So patreon.com slash the base of my yard. Thank you guys for all the love and support. It has been overwhelming. We want to keep giving you what you like, which apparently is more of us. So patreon.com slash the basement yard, go check it out. Also, by the time this is coming out, we are doing live shows.

I don't know what tickets is still available. This is the future. I don't know, but you could check them out. to the basemanyard.com. Take a look at what's over there. Take a gander with over on that way of that. If we're coming to a city near you and you want to come and maybe there's something still available, I don't know. But the basemanionery.com, thank you guys. We're excited. We love you. We're happy. We're just like so pumped. I don't know. Go check it out. It's the end of that. I don't know. Can we also. Are you drinking a Red Bull?

He's like a sugar-free Red Bull And the can is already open What is that? Oh, like he didn't open it We didn't yell at him again because we've yelled at him twice now I was used to say thrice but it's only been twice as far as I don't Gave me like a tonging for like 40 minutes over there after I cracked the can open You can't say tonging Hey, hey man what the hell is that you're being sued after this

For deaf ame Well your fingers will be exhausted he's been giving you a tonging What is giving a tonning? What happens when I'm not? not here between you two. What have... Wait. We have good quality time.

Don't talk more. Okay. What is it? He likes it when you're shutting up. You're done too. What's a good tonging or whatever you said? Yelling at me for opening... No one describes it in that way.

I've heard it described it in that way. And honestly, he's asked to give me a couple tongings and I said, no, I got to go. I said, no, thank you. All right? I got to get out of it. So I called you and asked you, hey, can I yell at you? No, you didn't say that. You called me and you were like, what are you doing right now?

And I'm like, I'm driving and you're like, can I give you a tonging? And I asked permission to yell at you. No, you said, can I give you a tonging? Right. If that's what that means, then yeah, that's happened. So he's tonguing you when I'm not here. Usually I could just tell by the tone. It's like, uh-oh, I'm gonna-I'm gonna get a tongue.

You hear the tone and you're like, here comes Joey with his tongue. See, I think he's getting too excited. I think- What's happening right now? That's my bed again. I'll write that down. It's completely your bat. Completely. It's not even an expression.

It is so good. Like a stern talking to. That is so good. You know, do you, do you remember who used to do that? Anita. So bad. Anita, who, Frank? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I need a break from you sucking my nose. Bad attempt. I just had to, I had to slam dunk and play it. At least you played along. Yeah, no problem. I appreciate that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, God.

It's still good. I can't, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. I'm not going to do the official. you know, I will get you officially soon, you know. We'll see. I will get you officially soon. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't want to make you have to play around because then you're going to give me a tonging. Enough with this tonguing, dude. Don't look at me. He said it. Speaking of, did you, well, I don't know this is speaking of. It's kind of... Well, this is a wild episode. You start with digging stuff out of your ass.

Your fingers are sore from going in his. Then you're tongue in him when I'm not here. But then also, first of all, crazy sentence. Did you guys see Tom Brady's new coconut water company? I think it is coconut. It's called Good Nut. What are we doing Thomas Brady? Tom.

Thomas. You're like, all you had to do was just quit five years ago, dude. Good Nut? He's like done so much to fuck up his image in the last five years. What do you do? Well, this sucks. Good Nut's a crazy name. He's trying to be like cool.

Like he did the. like a set at the Kevin Hartrose and it was just like oh just be Tom Brady don't be that don't try to be cool you're cool because you're Tom Brady I don't think you fucked up is I think he looks like a goober now I don't even know what that word means a goober what's a goober it's hard to explain but you know a goober when you see and hear of a goober what I if I have no idea what it is good nut good nut is crazy way to go Tom is there a slow that I don't want to know? I don't need to know.

I did see there was a slogan, yes. And it's like a mouthful of flavor or something like that. Stop. I'm not kidding. A mouthful of flavor? Thomas. It might even be worse than that. Imagine walking into a store and be like, do you guys have any good nut?

That's a wild thing. Dude, you're Tom Brady. You could be cool. You don't need to... It's a delicious mouthful. I got it. It's a delicious mouthful is nuts. Like

Are we just immature and all we're thinking about is Just No I mean If he didn't He's a Like he's They know what they're doing with this He knows what he's doing

Dude yeah He's like all right Do we need another coconut water Do we do we do we need it to be called nuts Like why do you need to Why can't it just be called like Coco fresh Start your own

I should It would be better Have you ever drank coconut water out of a cocoa No. I have. Where? Oh, Aruba? No. Jamaica? I just chopped into a coconut with a little hand act. Oh, I have done that. I've gotten them from the store. I have. Yes, I have. Oh, really? Yeah. I've never done it. It's good. It's good.

It tastes better. It is. It's tasty. Is it cold? No. I mean, unless you put it in the fridge. Is it weird that I used to think that breast milk was cold? Yep. Um, I understand why you've probably had it cold, but like it is... But like it is... Wait, aren't you supposed to have it warm? It comes... I mean, you can freeze it and then put in the fridge and stuff like that.

Right, but anytime you drink it, it's warm. You could, or you could just keep it cold, I think. Wait. That's what we did. Oh, I mean, I don't know. I thought it was... I thought you, like, had to warm it or, like, room temperature. Like, it has to be a temperature or something for the baby.

You know, breast milk is fucking cool, dude. Breast milk is mad cool. Like, cures, like, eczema. Dude, it like is literal like liquid gold. Yeah. There was someone like I remember. You get you taste a little bit? You taste a little bit? I didn't taste any. No, I didn't taste any. I just had no desire. Loser. Why? Why? It's right there. I was letting my children have it. The people that needed it. Not me. Yeah. Hold on daughter. Let me. I'm not saying drink the bottle. I mean, but even the smallest drop that was hers, not mine.

This sucks from Tom Brady. This absolutely sucks. We're back on Tom Brady. I feel like you don't look at this and just go like, that's something a loser would do. No. Why are you? I don't know why.

I think it's a crazy name. I think it's a crazy name. I'm going to start a coconut water company and I'm going to make it called Good Nut. Oh, what are you drinking there? You're drinking my good nut? That's what he's doing, dude. You're Tom Brady. You're already cool.

You're already cool. I don't think he's trying to be cool. I definitely think he's trying to be cool. What do you mean? I think it's just a marketing thing. Yeah, I think it's like everyone's going to talk about it like we are now because it's called good nut. Yeah, but people are going to look at it and be like, Tom Brady, what, that's, that's something that a loser does. I'm going to, I'm going to start a bra company and it's going to be called fat knockers.

That's dumb. brother what was the name for boobs on the other kerbangers so good kerbangers where was that that we heard that it was on the show was it on the show yeah it was we were doing names of something i don't know oh no it was the toys is the old toys oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah kerbangers i'm shocked that you hear this and you don't think like that's kind of a dweeb move i doesn't feel like dweeby it feels

like a like a cheap marketing thing which is a dweeb move? I guess. That's genius to me. I mean, it would be more dwee if you needed to like 420, 69. You know what I mean? Just as loserish in my opinion, because it's called Goodnut. It's a delicious mouthful.

That's wild. Just, dude, you're Tom Brady. It's kind of weird that the marketing team there would be like, like, don't you think, like I get it, you get people talking about it, but like, are people going to not drink it? Because they're like, oh, there's

association now. You know what I mean? I mean, honestly, if you're like a conspiracy theorist or someone that is like not as trustworthy of, you know, trusting of like big brands, there'd be a part of me that'd be like, I'm going to wait a couple years in order to try this to make sure it goes through like the proper FDA channels. Because like, what if they do a test in two years and be like, Tom Brady dragged his nuts through every single barrel of these drinks? Frank, how could that possibly be on your mind? I'm confused. Are you hoping he did? You just said that there's like an association.

Yeah, an association with the name. Yeah. Not that there was actually like, maybe. What would you do? If what? If you found out that you had two cans of this and you were like, you know what? I actually liked Humbridey's good nut. Yeah.

And then after you're done tonguing him. Right. You know? And then I would sue. Yeah. Because that's a full crime. but you're not worried about that? I'm not really.

Also, I'm pretty sure you can't sell beverages unless they are approved like that. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure, but like... You'd be worried that there's actually Jiz in it. If he's a dweeb enough to call it good nut, I could seem to be like, oh, what if I just like dip my testes in it? I can't see if it's a big jump. I don't know, man. So you're saying it's a big FDA conspiracy to make us all.

taste Tom Brady's nuts. Yeah, dude. It could be. You don't think so? What's your biggest fear? That. What is your biggest fear? Drinking something and being, like, you don't remember years and years and years ago

where, like, people were posting pictures of, like, they took a drink of a, you know, Arizona iced tea and then, like, inside there was, like, a dead mouse or something like that. Oh, I didn't even see that. You've never seen that? No. You don't remember that? You remember that, right? It's like this is actually a chicken's head.

Yeah, like something like that. Like if like he, if he's selling something, he's like, I'm going to get people. Oh, ha ha, ha, good nut. There's a chance that he could be like, what if I just dragged my nuts through it? I don't think that he's in the factory making a thing. I guarantee he stopped there at least once. And that's all it takes. And you think that?

One small tea bag dip. Yeah. It's possible, dude. And then he's going to pay off everyone. this is why the rich or evil, Joey. This is why you're fucking, you're part of the problem here. Because then he'll just pay off anyone and he'll be like, you didn't see me dip my nuts in that coconut water.

Right. So don't even fucking, don't even tell anybody. How much would he have to give you to not say something? I would say something no matter what, because the harm that it would do to the consumers is worth telling. So what's the number? 20 million. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, like, I don't know. Am I crazy for thinking that's a dweeb move? No, I think it's like, I mean, I don't know. To me, again, the first thing that popped into my mind was like, some people are just going to be like, I'm not going to drink this, it's like a weird name, the association's kind of gross. Would you do that?

Do what? Would you be an investor in good nut? No. Because of the reason I'm saying. Like, I think that people will make an association of like, oh, it's kind of gross. It just like hurts. Like I think out the gate you get a lot of people talking about it, but long term, you're kind of like, eh. I didn't expect Tom Brady to have such a good sense of humor.

Like, like, even be attached to it. It'll, like, be a good sport about it, you know what I mean? But that's the thing is I'm not getting good sport out of him. Like, he was one of those people that during the roasts, like, he looked upset. Well, he also probably didn't name it. Like, he's just a face of a company that's existing. Okay. That's almost worse.

because like you're seeing like hey Tom we want you to be the face of this company what's it called good nut uh hold on the slogan a delicious mouthful that's when you you have no association with them you could pull back i mean you could if if they told him like you were going to give you some equity in this company you're going to do a commercial with them we're going to pay you this amount of money and then but it's tom brady it's not like he's hurting yeah but he's doing okay yeah but No one, everyone who's successful like that, like they'll invest in new projects. I don't know. I've just gotten the sense that he's just kind of turned into a bit of a dweeb.

Wow. Over the last couple years, like, he was Tom Brady. He is the greatest living football player to, like, alive right now, arguably, you know. Like, you could have just rode off into the sunset and just been Tom Brady. And now he's like, ah, ha, ha, ha. I'm going to do his good nut. I don't really have a problem with people trying new stuff, but...

That's not... That's an oversimplification of what I'm saying. Well, I'm saying, like, oh, so he has to be the football player? No, no, no, no, no, no. But, like, that's an example. Like, when he went and did the Kevin Hart roast, it was like a little creepy. Well, he did that because the year before...

I know, I know. But that's why he was there. But, like, he was trying to be, like, edgy, and it's just like, oh, dude. He's not right in those jokes. I know, but just beat Tom Brady, dude. What does that mean, though? Just beat Tom Brady.

Well, you're just, telling you to do is shut up and dribble and that's crazy that's not what i'm saying so what are you saying don't be tom brady mean don't be a dweeb good nut or like trying to be like an edgy comedian now i'm not saying he is a show i hate that shut up and dribble thing don't get me started on that but like don't try to be edgy tom brady just be fucking nflbillard edged lord what if tom brady when he was younger he was like man i want to be the greatest football player ever. And I want to start this wonderful coconut water brand. That sounds like a jiz joke. And you're just crushing his dreams. You know what? I can crush his dreams. What if it was deep

ingrained into his DNA that this is what he is? If that is deep ingrained, he's had enough success that he could be humbled somewhere else. Hey, sorry, Tom, I will take your good nut dreams from you. Well, that's another sense. There's no way. this episode, by the way. Oh, no, no, no. We've joked about not this one, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gone, fully gone.

Frankie is a hater. Sure. Okay, it's Tom Brady. He fucking crushed my dreams. Oh, Jets fan. He crushed my dreams for decades, dude. I could have one instance. This guy ripped so much life out of every Jets fan

and every fucking AFC, Not really NFC fan, but like, how many dreams has Tom Brady crushed? None of mine. Someone, fuck you. Giants fan. Fuck you all the way.

Respect. You don't get to be in on that. You don't have nobody. Aren't you a Jets fan? No, I'm not. Oh my God. Don't do that to me. I don't know.

His one fandom is not mine. I like the Giants. Oh. Especially like from 2007 to like 2012, I like when they were winning. Yeah. Exactly. Let me guess you like the Yankees from

95 to 2009 2011 that's a pretty big stretch 2001 I lost then 2000

2000 it's hell of a year though well all I'm saying Jets fan it makes sense I didn't

I didn't put that together to just now I mean if anyone if anyone could be humbled I can fucking

humble Tom Brady here me the podcaster um also you brought the what was the

Chinese toilets? The Chinese are at it again, dude. Whoa. They made a toilet that comes to your bed and it's like a chair. So it was like at like a tech show and it's like a robotic toilet.

And it pulls up on you? And it like you like write, you like call it? You're like yo. Oh, it's like voice activated? I don't know. Larry, get in here. I got a shit. What would you name your toilet? Larry. Really? What am I going to name it? Why Larry? It was the first name that came in my head.

I'll give you 10 more seconds to think of anything else. Esmeralda. Okay. See, I should have stuck with it. I don't know. But, like, I imagine you, like, from an app, call it, and it fucking drives up to your bed and you get in it, do your thing. It cleans you. It cleans itself.

Then it goes... Cleans me. What does that mean? It's got to go. Honestly, kind of cool. Like, one less... Like, we could start, like, getting rid of bathrooms. Frank, that sounds terrible.

That means you'd be like shitting in your living room. I also don't want to take a dump in my bedroom. What are we doing? Why? It cleans itself. But I'm, but I'm, the air. It closes and then cleans itself. But I'm, I'm, I'm, you would, you would be open to shitting in your, next to your bed.

Why do you have to go immediately to shit? How about piss? Because that's the worst one. It is the worst one. It is. So you're gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna shit next to your bed, next to your pillow? I mean, I might ask to, to like, go in the corner.

Like I'm a toddler. And just be silent in the corner. I love asking. Hey, do you mind if we, can we step out into the hallway real quick? What would you, because they had listed it, I believe,

as like a preliminary price. What would you pay for something like that? I mean, I would never buy that. What? How am I going to use it? If there's a part of your house, like the basement that doesn't have a bathroom?

Oh, I don't know. You're down there watching the game? I'm just going to walk upstairs Really? Yeah Oh, Aunt you got to help me here Are you buying this? How do you So let's say you do

Number two in there Where does it go? That's a great question I imagine it has a tank on it That is a removable, disposable tank They have like a human litter box on it Yeah Possibly, I mean

Don't love that I don't love it I mean I think that there is a new level of convenience Especially you You love paying for convenience Yeah but my bathroom's right There. It's very convenient. Yeah, my bathroom's like from where I am to you.

That's stank. Ill. Filthy. There's a door. What's the difference between that and like a bucket? Yeah. I think there's a bucket on wheels. A big difference between a bucket on wheels. What? This one has a name?

Well, it will clean me. I imagine there's a bidet on it. It will clean itself. Think of it. How much time is wasted on the toilet? A good waste. Like, it's a good waste. That would be a good waste.

good slogan. Which one? Turn your waist into a good waste. And what would that mean? I'm honestly, I'm not even entirely sure. I feel like it was a good name until the slogan. A good waste. I, yeah, I definitely don't need this.

I don't need toilets running around my apartment, malfunctioning, running out of battery, shit like that. I mean, you plug it in. Also, does the thing talk? I don't want a shit in something that can talk to me. Yeah, we've had that discussion. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. If your toilet would talk back to you, like, no.

Yeah. Please. Stop. Come on. Okay, just one. Ugh. That was fucking filthy. No, I don't like that at all.

This episode. No. Where do you think toilets will be? I just spit everywhere. Where do you think toilets will be? I mean, brother, we've sat on some pretty technological toilets. Have we? L.A.

Oh, when you walk in and then it opens its mouth. It opens its mouth. And then the seats, like, I already warmed it up for you. I know you don't like that. You don't need to repeat. yourself. I don't like that. But when you walk into a room and those toilets just open up, I don't really like that. And also the light in there, it's like it's a nightclub in the bowl. Yeah, it is a little bit of a nightclub. It does feel a little too like, you know, let me make

me, you know, like. Yeah. Once you come here. Yeah. Yeah. Was it a hot tub in there? Come on, come on, come on, come on. It's like, you should earn it. You should earn this. There is like a night light in the thing. I don't really love that. What about a, what about a clear toilet bowl? Would you that. Disgusting. Really? Franklin. You wouldn't do it?

No. I don't want to see that. At my old apartment, I had a black toilet bowl. Okay. That wasn't, that was, that was, that was, that was, it's fine. It was fine. The fact that toilet bowls are like standard white is crazy. It is kind of nuts.

Because anything that is happening in that toilet is not white. Well, actually, that's a good thing. Because you should be able to see if there is something going on. You know what I mean? Are you, you're grabbing your forceps and you're going to, going through your stuff? No, I'd take a peek. A peek at it?

You salute it as it goes away? No, I don't want. I just look and I go, okay, and I just get out of there. What about the golden toilet? Didn't Trump have like a golden toilet? That just feels disrespectful. To what? Gold.

Oh, yeah. Like, not a cheap commodity. No, absolutely fucking stupid, I will say. That's got to be heavy as fuck, too. Gold is heavy. It's dense. Yeah. Right? Am I bugging?

I actually don't think gold is that dense. You could cut through it with a butter knife, pure gold. No, it might be soft. It might be soft, but like it's pretty dense and heavy. Hence why it's not floating in rivers. That's true. But that's not pure gold. That's mixed with stuff.

With like metals? Yeah. I think pure gold is, it's heavy as fuck. Isn't gold gold? Gold is metal. But like... Well, that's like gold bars are heavy as fuck, dude. What?

Yeah. It's mad heavy. or is that you could do like a like a sodium metal like you can cut through like a like with a butter knife or something look up what's what's the is is gold heavier than it's not the densest i know that's uh or how heavy is gold compared to other that help oh the heaviest metals there's the one uh fuck i forgot the name of it but it's tungsten i think tungsten is the heaviest that shit is like fucking heavy dude hmm or it could be wrong. And that means he is. It is exceptionally heavy and dense. It's the first.

Oh, so the opposite. It's the first description. I could be wrong and just immediately explains how he is yes wrong. Can you not cut with it? Hold on. It's two times, two point five times denser than iron, which is actually kind of crazy. And then roughly seven times heavier than aluminum. Aluminum is very light. Yeah, it's light. You ever see those TikToks of the guy putting metal through the. the thing, the like... Oh, it's very hot? No, no, no, no, no. It's like, I don't know how to...

It's like rollers, and he puts different metals through to see how they flatten. And like some of them crumble, but then some of them become like thin strips and shit, like they're like ribbons. Yeah, that's on talking about. I love machinery.

Machinery. Machinery gears? Bro gears. I love a good, like, well-oiled-up gear. Yeah. Well, I don't... I mean, I like that... You ever see the gear?

the gears that like eat everything. Yeah. Like someone's like throwing a bike in there. You know what's a sick gear? You ever go to the zoo and they had the thing you could put the penny in? Flattens it out? And you see the gears and you're just like, hell yeah. I'm about that.

I do like that too. I just like I love gears. But I love how Ant is just not answering because he's 100% wrong. It's confusing because it says pure gold, like 24 carrot. You could cut it with a knife and it's softer than most metals. I guess there's difference between soft and dense. I guess we're both right Nope

Wow you're pulling a Frank on Frank that's crazy Don't you dare I'm on me I'm the only one on me You can't do me on me No one's allowed to be doing me on me I do me on myself all the time Whoa Oh yeah all the times

It's kind of nuts Maybe we should get to these real quick After that why not We have some more sponsors for today This one is Kachava Okay Kachava is delicious. It's got all the nutrition your body craves and one deliciously simple shake pack to go. All right. You get this thing. You get a scoop in there, but it's delicious. They have just one packet

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Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. What the hell is that that you have in front of you? This? What is that? This is a shock potato.

I'm not doing this. Oh. So, you know, the game, hot potato. And it shocks you with the little metal. things. So when it runs, when the timer runs to zero, shock's you. Why do you have all these gadgets? He's a good, good gadgets. He's a good, good, good, good gadgets that just hurt you. And well, I don't know about hurting him. Well, those. A little. It's bad. Fraid bottom. It's like a, what? Frayed bottom. Oh. You mean flared base? Yeah. Gotcha.

Freight bottom. Is that it's like a hot potato game? So how do you play? Uh, you hit the start. button and then we're gonna give you a category. You have to name the things in the category. Wait, we have to do this? I- Come on. Be-a-be-a-be-a-book a sport. I can't do it because there's too much around me, obviously, so all you. I'm in it. I'm in it. Why am I agreeing to this? I love shit like this. I really do. Why? It's just fun. It's a fun little game. What's the issue? Shocked! My hands and my little scared!

Oh, it's a little shock. You'll be fine. I feel something outside of your own fucking balls for once. So... Who's talking. When you're tossing back and forth, you know, grab it. and you can't let go until you answer something in the category. Oh, so it's like, are there, like, preset categories? What are you doing down there? I don't... I'm literally just sitting here.

Okay, because when you... No, I took my watch off, because I don't want the electricity to mess with the inner workings. Gears. All right. I never know. Because whenever your hands are down here, you're fucking around, doing weird stuff. What am I doing now?

Making a weird face. I get... You don't want to know. Something else. All right, toss it. Let me do it. He gets super paranoid when shock comes out. I don't like this.

He never, oh, you're turning it to me first? I was a good throw. I don't like it. Wait, let me see it before we. Why is there duct tape on it? The hell was that? He sounded like a dinosaur. During filming, it gets too loud, so I muffle it with duct tape.

Oh, oh, smart. It makes like a scary noise while it's on. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, like a beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Sure. Something like that. That makes it more fun. All right, let's do this.

It's really loud. Let's do this. Come on, let me see it first. Come on. No, I don't trust you. Here we go. What am I going to possibly, I have it? Yeah, you hold on to it.

No, I'm not going to do that. I will full on play the game the way it's supposed to be played. So. If not Frank ever. So you guys are going to come up with a category and play? What is the category? You can come up with the first category. I don't get in trouble.

I don't get in trouble for making a category that you can do. I don't make the character like, Marvel actors from the 90s There's not many But I could do that if you really want me to What's a good one? I mean we could do something easy We're gonna do this a couple times probably

No I don't want to do that Yeah come on No Come on come on come on You gotta do it twice You gotta do a real one You know like colors And then you gotta do like compliments

For each other or something Let's do colors Colors is a good one It's a good place to start I don't want to do it Oh my God I'll do a round I'm not doing multiple rounds

You'll do mobile round. If it lands on Frankie, you'll do another round. You'll do another round. I won't. I just made it out. Scott Free. No, come on. Play for the fans. You could sit in my chair and then you play with him.

I can never sit in your chair. You can. At least you know. I mean, yeah. At least you know. You want to switch seats. Come on, come, come on. What do I do?

Why are you so horny to be shocked? Do you want to be shocked so badly, Dr. Frankenstein? It's a fun game to play with my friend. I like to play games. You like pain. You're a masochist. I'm not a masochist. I don't like pain.

If anything, I hate pain. Pain sucks. You love pain. No, I don't. I don't like pain. Yes, you do. You're just afraid because you're afraid you're going to lose and you're going to look like a little bitch. First of all, I'm going to look like a bitch.

That's number one. First of all, already did it. Very scared right now. Okay. I just don't like it. Shock Tato. All right. Come on.

I would move the mics just slightly out of the way so you guys have more arm space. Come on. We got this. You can come up with the category and then I'll come up with it. And we have to. do two, at least. That's going to be fun. Yeah, you got to do two.

First of all, I, three. I said that I'm never doing the shot caller again. This is not the shot collar. I know. This is why. There's a loophole. Why are you never doing the shot collar again?

I don't like it. Last time we put it on our arm? I don't like that either. Why? Because it hurts. Joey, it's like, for once, live a little. Tom Brady can't make a

coconut company without you jump that down. He's Tom Brady. He could get humbled, okay? So I'm not Tom Brady. You're the Tom Brady of podcasters in New York City. Oh, cool. On a Tuesday. Who are recording right now.

No, I stand by. I think you're the best. Thanks, Frank. That's fire. So technically, not a shock collar. So I'm in the parameters. It says the patent's panting. Patent pending.

Okay. Just grab it. How do I do it? Just hit start. You just click it? We need to know the category first, Joey. I know. This says press and hold for three.

seconds what's that down onto those okay come I already turned it on so you just got hit start I think he's fucking giggly dude I mean it's a giggly thing yeah all right so I press start how do I know that it has started I promise you'll know is it gonna shock me it will not shock you immediately oh yeah that's actually a good point how do we know that it's started it you'll know why you say us why you'll hear music oh that's the thing you say that's the answer suspense suspense come what's the category Come up with a good one, too.

Don't just be like, oh, letters. Four letter words. No, don't do that. I wouldn't be able to think of any, honestly. Three letter words. I don't know. Come on. I'm trying to think.

I'm a B. I-T-C. H. What was that? You spelling completing the word bitch. Oh, yeah. I said it. Yeah.

What should we do? Do Like football teams Sure We could do football teams Joey Yeah we could do that little Joe The Giants

I don't I'm telling you I'm not doing multiple rounds of this It's just two out of three Just do two Hey no I have limits I have boundaries Why are your limits Joey

Because respect me as an individual I do respect you as an individual But I hope you also see that this is kind of your job What are we doing? The category is... You guys are stalling. The category is... Yeah, we are stalling.

We still have to record, but I'm not doing fucking 30 minutes of this. Yeah, no one said that. 2 out of three. Category will be... Oh, let's do NFL teams for you, little Joe. Okay. That does sound big guy.

Soccer teams. Yeah, there is one. And that's it. The U.S. Yeah. Okay. I'll just start naming countries. That's true. Come on, dude. You can't throw until you say an answer. I know, I know. You have to grip it. I know. And you don't need to say the city. You can just say the team name. So just the team name, Joey. I don't like this. Okay. Don't even look. Hold it, say it, and then throw it. You can't do like, you. You can probably move your mic over a little bit, Frankie.

The other way. I'm right. I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm right here. I'm good. I'm a pro dude. What? Fuck? You're going to hit the mic. I'm a pro, dude. All right. So just so we are clear. Hold, say the team, then throw. Yes. Okay.

I don't like it. If this is all a ruse and you're like, this is a bit and you're getting me, Oscar worthy acting on your part. What do you mean? How could I get you? I don't know. Like it's already like electric electrifying. No, it's not. Okay. Okay.

I don't know why I can't do this, man. is what gets me. Okay, I'm done. Gotcha. We got it. We got it, Joey. Come on. Why are you laughing? There's something you know now. I know nothing. Did you press start? No.

You're holding it like... I don't want to touch these fucking things. Pro, just touch... If it's not going, you're fine. Yeah, you're fine. Okay. I don't like this. It couldn't tell.

I hate you. Oh. At least you hate only you. Okay. Ready? Yes. Come on. Giants.

Jets. Chiefs. Dolphins. Bills. Rams. Oh, no. Cardinals. Ravens.

Raiders. Iron. Colts. I got to go. We didn't even get it. We didn't even get it. We dropped it. We got to do it again.

It got me He got me back there I'm not kidding You saw me handle that Yo I handled it First of all I had Nothing in my head And I dove and I went to go pick it up

As soon as I picked it up I went like this Because it shocked both of me You crawled after it Like a cartoon character I will never I've never seen that Bro you

your hands at knees. That's only for me. And God Almighty, that was the funniest thing. All right, winter stays on. You go. No, no, we got to do one more. You got to do one more. We didn't get it.

You didn't get it on camera. Winter stays on. You didn't get it on camera. Fuck that. It happened to me. It's real to me. Respectfully, you have to understand. It wasn't on camera.

It didn't happen. We need another take. Part of the job. We need another take. I got a Brazilian. He shot me with a paintball twice. We didn't get it on camera. You throwed an egg at me.

Not how you say it. You're fine, dude. It's not on. It's not on. Yo, I fumbled this thing like this. I also said iron. I couldn't think of another team. I said the Cardinals.

That was crazy. I mean, that's a good poll. I said, Colts. And then you per girl. Yo, I'll be honest with you. I don't on the floor so hard. My knee is. Yo, I'm not kidding.

Something happened to me right there seeing my person that I look up to and boss crawling like a baby after this fucking electric potato. That was bad, dude. It's going to take a while for me to burn that image out of my head. I think I started to drool.

What? Just laughing so hard. I don't like this shit. I'll start this time. Come in. Okay. You're brave. So the category what is, wait, why does it say? normal, lame, extreme.

See, this is why I don't want to give him the thing. No, you can only do normal. Why? Because extreme, it's just like no music. Lame is no shock. So normal is just the way to do it. I think, what's the point of, oh, I mean, the music doesn't really add too much. I actually don't really know if extreme is that's what it does.

I just know that normal is the only thing that works. Okay. All right. All right. Don't Frankie this. I'm going to shove this up your ass and you're going to sit on it and I'm going to press star. All right. What could be, let's, let's say,

Let's that was a good category. I hate this, dude. Come on, one more. It hurts so bad. I think you gotta do something you think about more, like, like four letter words or three letter words or something like that's way worse. I think it's like funner when you're like when you have an idea of something. Fine. So colors.

Yeah. Colors exist. No, let's let's do superheroes. Look at how long it went. Do you think I'll be able. It's not about if you know. It's about the speed at which you can get out. With the pressure.

I wish I had my watch on to know what my heart rate is right now. With the pressure, I can't think. of anything. I also like... We said football teams and I named four. Okay. I like how you guys said, oh, something that we know a lot of. I said three-letter words, boys. You said four-letter words, bitch. Yeah, but you gotta like, you gotta really think. All right, fine, fine. The pressure adds a lot. How about? Let's do colors. Colors. Fine. Colors. Don't do this thing with like white and black. White and black we can consider for the game. Okay? All right? No. We got this.

Ready? Yes. Red. Orange. Purple. Yellow. Green. Blue. Pink. White. Silver. Black out! I just got both of you. It got both. Oh shit. I got both of it.

Why are you throwing up, you freak? It got both of you. That's so good. Oh my god, that was funny. It got me... It got you and on the end, and I got the end of it. I'm like, ah! Oh, good time. I haven't won yet. Well, that's what I won.

Now you've got to play. Oh, yeah, come on. Come on. Come play. Where am I? Oh, how? Where is it? Oh, shit. Where is it?

It's down here. All right. Oh, the seat feels so important. Wow. This is huge. So now you're aunt. Oh, hey, aunt. What should I look up?

Um, pro-lapse butts. What are you writing? He's right, whatever he wants. What's he riding? You're sitting in a really important seat right now. I'm very scared. You need to be on it. I'm very scared. For a split second, realize like you are in an incredibly important seat.

All right, but let's not keep him in that seat too long. We got to get them back here. I'm like my, my, my, I have so much adrenaline right now. So you want to do it again, right? I made you feel alive, baby. No. All right. What should be the category for Ant and I?

No, no, no, no. He just won't catch it. Um, yeah, I'll just duck out of the way. How about? I mean, you guys could probably do superheroes. We can do superheroes. We'll do superheroes. We'll do superheroes.

All right. Spider-Man. Batman. Superman. Wonder Woman. Green Lantern. Lobo. That's not a Superville.

That's not a superhero. He's a comic book character. Put it down. No, no. It's not a superhero. Put it down. Iron Man. Hulk. Dr. Strange.

Black Widow. Black Panther. Oh, you said Dr. Strange. Oh, this is a problem. Oh, you're holding on to it like crazy. Lobo, not a hero. Who is that? He's like an anti-hero.

He's like a Deadpool in a way. Lobo. Let's look at this bastard. People say I look like him. Yeah, you're gonna. That does kind of look like you. Oh, you fuck. Jason Momos.

Yeah. I see in the background there now. So you're telling me that looks like a hero? I mean, he's kind of like an anti-hero. He's a villain. He's a villain. that means not hero. No, but like an anti-hero, it's not like a full villain either.

Like, they're kind of like, they are sometimes a hero, but also not. I'm interested to see what the comments are. I think Lobo's a fine answer, dude. It's literally not a good answer. Okay, either way, you held on that thing for 10 seconds. That's fair. That is, that is- But he cheated.

But you held onto it. Yo, now my adrenaline's gone. I know, dude, it's like the anticipation is crazy. I'm not playing out. I've not lost any. You don't mean? No, you want to do it again? It's for you.

You got to win. Oh, I gotta win. No, why? We've done it. I've won. I'm good. He's too... I was best two out of three.

He's holding... He's too afraid to pick it up. He's like... He's holding it the way that like Spongebob bit the crabby paddy that time. You remember? All right. Two syllable words. No!

You want me to learn fucking syntax here? Come on. Two syllable words? Yeah. Four letter words? Three letter words? Why do you have to do words? Dude?

You did colors. What do you think? What about, um... Just famous people? Famous people. Famous people? Real people. Not characters, real people. Okay. I'm fine with that. It's so hard. I'm fine with that.

Just any celebrity? It's hard because their names are so big. All right. Tom Holland. Joe Sanagato. I've never heard that noise. I don't know what that was. What the fuck was that? Oh, it's dead. Thank God. Oh my God. You kidding me? It couldn't die without playing. Thank God. Thank God. Okay. Oh my. Damn. It died when he was playing. Well, and it died when he was playing. Well, and it died.

on Joe Sanagato, which means that your fame has blown up that thing. Congratulations. Really that, that intense? I feel good. I know you like it, though. He wrote Joe equals and. I got good notes. You'll be like, what is that even mean?

That seat? Very warm, by the way. It's because he got a hot ass. Because you shoved so much shit in it. Marbles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What's the game with the marbles? Kriplunk. I don't know if that is. You don't remember Kruplunk? What's the one it like opens up and there's like a bunch of like divots and you're like kind of like Chinese checkers? Is that what that is? No, not Chinese checkers. It's like there's like a reservoir like this at the end and there's a bunch of circular and then there's like marbles.

Not marbles, but like they're like flat marbles kind of. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, Mancala. Yes. Is that it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I don't know how to play that, but I had a set growing up and I used to love playing with all the

yeah i love i love like the old pokemon cards you should come with those things really yeah well you've never played that moncala moncola the hospital he's sucking my nuts too much man was that a jamaican accent mancala the hospital because he's sucking my nuts too much what the fuck are we doing here what the fuck are we doing here This is so stupid, dude And do I? Is that worthy? Absolutely not.

Mon Cala de Hospital. I don't think I can. Come on. You'd be disgracing the game. Really? All right, fair. You can whisper it. Getting that, getting that just off, like, just the top of my dome right there was impressive.

You got to get, admit. Moncolor the hospital. No, seriously, though, you don't remember Kerplunk? What is that? It was like a plastic tube and you put a bunch of like plastic sticks in it

and you put the marbles on top and you had to remove them and then whoever got them all to like fall down they lost. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah sure was fun man I used to play with Miles a lot Kerplunk

I think we played where every marble that falls you have to take a shot for it Yeah, of course you did yeah yeah yeah yeah 100%

I saw that coming They have giant kerplunk that's really cool Whoa I didn't know they had a giant kerplunk I'd play giant Kuplunk. Do you remember fucking people like, oh, who wants to play pickup

sticks? What's that? It was like a, they were sticks, plastic sticks, and they were all different colors, and you'd like throw them on the table and you have to like pick up one that is like touching another one or something like that without moving the other one. You guys don't remember that shit? No. Yeah. This actually looks like a really

funny physical video we could do. It's like mad funny. You know what's a good game? The fucking elephants. The elephant would, you got a butterfly. Yeah. Fuck, what was that called? No, no, I'm dead serious. I don't remember. It was called like Elef. I don't know. I don't believe you guys. Butterfly elephant. You never heard of that?

I had it. Butterfly elephant. It's right there. Oh, sorry. Elephant game. Elephant. Yeah, that was a good one. I liked it. It was cute. I liked it too. The best, the best was Don't Wake Daddy. You remember that shit? I don't know how to play though. It was like you had to like, I know the guy had like It was like roll and it was like you got two or or and like you had to do two and it was like don't wake daddy and daddy would pop up and you'd be like like oh fuck I'm awake. There's a lot. Have you ever seen those tick? It's like a couple on TikTok they do like they

just get board games and review board games. Yeah. There's a lot that are fun. Don't break the ice. Remember that one? Yes. I sucked. Really? Wasn't that good at that? I can see you being good at that now. Is it the polar bear or it's a where you put like a penguin on it. Yeah. And you have to like hammer out the ice things. I feel like I'm not that good. But that would be a cool video trying out those games. Yeah, we could do that. We could set that up.

When my brother was younger, he would make me set it up. And then as soon as we started, he would just punch the middle. Yeah, I mean, obviously. Children. Pissing me off, don't they? Damn, old school, like, fucking kids board games are fun as fuck, dude. So we'll have an old school board game day. You know, for a video.

Old school board game day. Did you ever play Don't Wake Daddy? Every night. That's crazy. Too much? I hate him. Really? You hate him that much?

Who? Him. Oh, no, I was doing something else. There's also what I played recently. It's like, uh, it has like kinetic sand. So you put like kinetic sand on the top of this thing and then there's a bunch of sticks and you have to pull a stick and like the kinetic sand. There's like people on it. They like fall through.

Oh, so similar. Kind of, but it's with kinetic sand. So it's fun to play. I love kinetic sand. Dude. What is it? I don't know. What the fart is?

I don't know what the fart it is, to be honest. What's going on? You see that stuff where you hold it, you put it in water, and you bring it back out and it's still dry? It's hydrophobic sand. The fuck, how do you do that? There's like animals like that. Bro, do you ever have cinnamon toast crunch?

Nope. They suck up the milk. Bro, there's sometimes I'm having cinnamon toast crunch and like some on the side of the bowl or like, I can't get it wet. You never seen those TikToks where like the guys will have like hydrophobic shirts? They like spray them. They like throw mud at them and it like stains the shirt

and they have another guy that they like spray with the hydrophobic thing. Why aren't all clothes like that? Probably expensive. Probably. I would, expense. I would imagine, right? It's too expensive to make my clothes not stain? I imagine.

Because a lot of these clothes that you're getting, they want to produce them in mass quantities as cheap as possible. So if they're adding in a chemical that it's probably going to be expensive at the quality at which, you know, the amount at which they need to spray it, expensive. That was a spiel. I mean, is that not wrong? I don't know.

I don't know how much it costs. I don't know. Maybe it's not good to walk around with all that chemicals on. I used to have that for my hats, that spray. Oh, so you wouldn't mess up your hats. Yeah, so, like, they become hydrophobic. It's good for your shoes. Yeah.

Yeah, they have shoe spray for that too. 100%. If you sprayed yourself and jumped in water, what goes on? You getting wet? Well, I think that that's different because our skin is mostly like it's more porous maybe? I don't know. That's actually a really good question.

Am I wet? Now? No. Like if I sprayed my arm and then put my arm in water, it's like, I don't know, because you have a little thin layer on it. I don't like thinking about things. I'm with you, brother. I hate thinking about things.

It's so whack thinking. You know what I want to do? I want to dunk my hand in wax. You know, like those people that do like wax hand molds. Oh. Or like put their hands in... The bottles of whiskey? Yes, but also like they'll put their hand in a thing of ice water

and then right into wax and it'll just keep doing it until they can break their hand out. Oh, yeah. Or you see those ones that people that do like the wax pouring molds and it's like a big like, it's like a jug and it's just covered in wax and they break it or open like off with a knife? Yeah.

Yeah. Whoa. Sorry? You get horny for that, dude. Who ain't? Back to horn. We started with him being horny for stuff in his ass, and now we're back here at horny.

Yeah, this has been a full circle. It's been a great episode. I think it was more a medical question. I really don't like that potato, honestly. Really fucked up. Are you sure it's dead? Are you sure? Turn it on.

It's dead. Man. Thank God. Well. Oh. Turn it on. Ready? All right.

I'm not playing. You're playing. Nope. No, we can't force him to play. He already played. I mean, I can't throw over the camera Because God forbid something happens to it Oh no, you're not throwing it to me

If I threw it to you, you'd have to throw it to him Then he'd be forced to play I'd be ducking out of the way Yeah, see? It's dead Listen, he said he'd do anything for you guys And now he won't even get a little baby shock I did this shot

I got twice shocked You haven't even been I'll never forget the image of you crawling like a baby I'll never That is completely like I was trying to play the game well I was diving I was you know You did it and you know what

My knee is paying for it Is it hurt? absolutely bounced off this floor. Sorry. It's okay. I'll survive. Anyway, folks, that is our episode for today. Thank you so much for sticking around for the entire thing.

Also, our tickets are out right now. Score to the Basementyard.com and get yourself some tickets. If there's tickets left at any of these shows, you can pop up. We added some shows to a second show in Minneapolis, Chicago, and Buffalo. And Buffalo. So if you're from those cities, you check the second. the second show's there and check them out Basemanyard.com, Frank, where can they find you?

I was singing the Buffalo Rome song and you wouldn't let me like have my moment. Because I was talking first. Could have been why. The Frank Gower is all over. Patreon.com slash the basement yard and the basement yard on all socials. Aunt Prisco on Instagram. I love how he still gets it out like he's still surprised. Yeah, he's like, eh.

Yeah. You never know. You guys can follow me at Joe Sanagal. Go file the show at The Baseman Yard on TikTok and Instagram and that is all. See you guys next time. Yeah.