The Basement Yard - #563 - Choking Is Embarassing

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Ill pretend to not choke until its an actual problem! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Frank? Very nice. I like that a lot. Ant's not here today. He's not here. He's with us in spirit. This is what he left.

Don't make him suck your wiener, okay? Don't make him suck your winner. He's on vacation. He's on vacation. He's in Aruba. He's having a good time. Maybe. I mean, he did post yesterday because the picky boys,

I don't know if it's going on when this comes out. their fucking Mario Kart Sub-a-Subathon And he's like training Brother, you're in Aruba Yeah, just go outside Let the sun hit you You'll be all right

There is If you would ask me For 20 things to do on vacation How many of them You think would involve A video game? You? I feel like it's not that high

For you But No, but he's He gave us these Which we're going to need Because the AC broke Duh Duh

Oh, so the Wi-Fi's down He's blowing us Ant's blowing us right now It's blowing us this episode He can't do anything Well, all right You be aunt I'll be me

Okay Okay Hey aunt You're you're blowing us Alright I mean that's not Absolutely you know Also take a look at this

Look at that This is listen For the World Cup Limited Edition For the Copo de Mundiar We made soccer jersees Okay Studios FC See this is a studios football club

Got a little thing here We have two of these which means we won two world cups Oh is that what that means the stars? Yeah Oh I didn't know that We've won we have won some stuff We've we I don't yeah We're sexiest podcasters of 2024 That's what that's what that signifies

And the other one was Best Ensemble so we have won two world cups Of that's what it is Specific niche topics But we made these soccer jerseys They're fucking awesome They are limited and we have a whole new merch operation coming also.

That's going to be a lot of fun, a lot of cool stuff. You can go to Santa Gada Studios right now. Santa Gautos studios.com right now. There'll be a thing at the bottom where you can put your email in, put that in, and we'll let you know when all the merch is coming out. But these are coming out July 13th at noon. All right? Oh, shit.

That's like soon. Yeah. Wow. Okay. I'm excited. I need them for the World Cup. I'm not only excited. I had one of those drinks that you got, and I'm like,

ah! You got some caffeine. I got a little bit. And it's not here. Those are really nice. It's santa gotos studios.com. Yeah. Make sure you specify the dot com because people might go to like dot cock or dot penis.

No one's going to do that. I don't know. Because those aren't websites. I mean, they might be. Is that a website? Dot cock. Dot penis. Look up if there are any.

Do you want me to do that? I don't know. I'll do it. What do you want me to do? All right. What do you want me to type? Look up. This is what happens when ants not here.

Look up something dot penis. Whatever you think. But it's the dot at the end because there's dot org. gov.gov.com. Dot co. Which whatever. The Wi-Fi is down. I forgot until right now.

We can't look anything up, by the way. The Wi-Fi's down. Something's going on, I guess. Back to our roots of being able to just make an assumption about something and be confident that it's the truth. And it is the truth because no one can say it's not because there's no one in the room. Shroding is cat. Right. You know, it's both the truth and fake at the exact same time.

Exactly. So, who cares? We're back. This is the OG basement yard now. Yeah. Let's start, let's go back to your roots. Start speaking like you're Hispanic. Don't say that.

Start speaking like you're Hispanic. So like sluts is like they'll be war with them tithes. Okay, we're moving on now. Bro, I will tell you this, something embarrassing, more embarrassing than that recently. This was yesterday. I got in the episode. elevator and I had a water bottle and there was like a couple of people in the elevator with me and I went to go drink it and I like aspirated and you know when you do that so like you're like

basically coughing in your mouth and you have something in your mouth and you're like choking on it like goes down the wrong pipe type of thing yeah you kind of have that moment where you're like am I just going to spit this out or am I going to try and hold it together yeah I'm around a bunch of people I should have been like gonna just hold it together I ditched you spit everywhere. I spit, but I spit, I spit, organized. I spit, like, in the corner,

because I was standing in the corner, and I was just like, f-f-f-f-f-f-f-ff, and then-oh, those are the worst. Yeah, it was, yeah. Because it's like, also my eyes are going, because I'm tearing and my face is turning red.

Who were you in the elevator with? Strange humans? Yeah, but, like, age, like, that does make a difference. If you're in there with, like, an old broad, there wasn't old bags with me. But there were people that I don't, I mean, there was like,

for the most part, everyone in my building is around the age of like 30 to 55. That's tough, honestly, because those are the people that are going to make fun of you. They're going to be like, I saw that guy from the basement yard in there, and he was choking and he couldn't swallow. I spit it all over the ground, and I took a picture of it, too. Let me see. Do you want to see it? I kind of do.

I mean, it's just a puddle in my shoes. But you're with the people next to you, and they're like, not only is this guy... I didn't take a picture of them. I know, but I'm saying, like, not only is this guy choking and just organizational spit in his own shoes, but now he's taking a picture of it. They all were like, are you okay? And I was like, yeah. Runk pipe. Yeah. I hate when

that happens when, like, you drink, like, something super, like, with a very specific powering. Yeah, dude, that, it looks like... It's the water. It's not, like, a small amount of water either. That's a good amount. Because I was in the middle of drinking. So it was, like, the third gulp, and then the third gulp was just kind of like,

Kha, like, hit me in the back of the throat. I hate me in the back of the throat. I hate when it does that with, like, a super flavorful liquid. And then you taste that liquid, like a hyper-concentrated form of it. Have that ever happened to you? I don't know. Like, that's happened to me when I've had, like, orange juice.

Like, I'll, like, it'll go down the wrong pipe, and then my throat just tastes of orange juice. Oh, it's like, oh, yo, this is orange juice, though. Yeah, exactly. Like, it's like, it's orange juice, the orange juice. Yeah, it's like it's in your bloodstream now or something. That's tough, but you were okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, physically, yes. Emotionally damaged and embarrassed. Is it people that you had seen before or since? Honestly, like, don't know. I kind of like in elevators, I'm not like a take a look at everyone. Like, I could very well get in the elevator with someone that I know and I wouldn't say anything. Yeah, yeah. Because I wouldn't know that they're there.

I'm kind of just like. Oh, you're just in your own zone? Yeah. I imagine that at that point, everyone around is just like, what a fucking piece of shit this guy is. I think they were thinking that. And a part of me was debating on like, do I like kick this around like a dog? You know what I mean? Like when a dog like moves the dirt, like, I'm like, do I like, move this out of the way?

Like you fucking, you know. Yeah, I didn't know what to do. Choking is one of those things that like I have the approach of like people are kind of victimized by mental, not mental, but like health issues. Like something will happen to them. Like they get, they get the cold or something like that. Choking is one of those that it's just like, I'm the problem if I'm choking. It's so embarrassing to choke. That's why I think you should leave a sketch that they did was so funny where he's choking in front of the celebrity.

Yeah. But like it's one of those where like if someone like falls or bangs their head or scrapes their knee or or gets sick or something like that, I'm like, oh, I feel bad for our person. When I see them choke, I'm like figure it out quickly or I'm hoping, I'm rooting for the choke. Unless it's like a real choke. Like it's like a. Then that's terrifying. I don't want to be around. I don't want to be around because part of me wants to run away.

I'll be honest if I don't think I've ever seen someone choking like that, but like I would like to think that I would be heroic, but I just don't know if I have it. I'd be too afraid of doing the wrong thing because apparently the Heimlich's not a thing anymore. Oh no, dude, I'd be fucking beating this person's backup. Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, if someone else is there, then I'm like, oh my God, I want to get away from this. If they're like, if they need me a help, I'm going over there, obviously.

And I'm trying everything, dude. I'm like, hi, I'm licking, I'm slamming their head. I'm fucking, yeah, I'm doing crazy shit. Just put them in like a fucking abdominal stretch and just punch their stomach. Put him in a full Nelson and just start kneeing his spine and shit. Like, I'd be terrified, man. I just, I don't know, because I would be fighting my nature where like I want to help and I want to make sure this person's okay. But like, ew, you freak, you're choking.

The only choking that I, that I don't like is, what's that? Like, when people are like, they, like, clear your throking. throat. It's like, and it's like, you can't get rid of it, which I sympathize with the fact that you may have that. I think I told you on the show that someone at dinner, I'm not, Frank, not an exaggeration, not me being whatever, Nicole was there, 45 minutes. And I wanted to be like, step out. Yeah. Step outside and figure this out on the street. Choking is one of those experiences that

it's not, you're not the only person experiencing that medical situation. It's everyone around bro also restaurant like there's food people are eating you're coughing step out or go to back i mean if you're in like a like a booth or like something like i don't think it's that bad but if you're in like a crowded restaurant where the tables are like the people that are sitting like right here i'll say this if someone coughs and they're sitting it right there to me i'm asking for a new dish they've coughed on my food tiny uh it's it's a small restaurant but also we were all sitting at the bar so he was sitting at the bar facing the bartender with you He was two people down.

Oh, that's, that's, that's, that's too close. Yeah. Oh, oh. Oh my, bro, figure this out. Yeah. Drink something. But even that, sometimes, like, I've had it where it's like, it's not working, so I'll just shove my finger down my throat and, like, try to break up whatever it is just in case

I can do that. Let me ask you a question. Do you think that I'm five years old and I'll just believe everything you say? I don't believe that for a second. You need not believe it, for it be the truth. Who is this? It's true. You've never had, I've had popcorn recently.

You shove your fingers down your throat and you mix it up like your snake in a toilet. Yeah, I mean, there have been times, you know, like, the, like, shell that is on the kernel of popcorn sometimes. The kernel? No, no, no, but it's like, it's like the outer layer. It's like a, it's like a film that goes around it. I have gotten a piece of that stuck in my throat and I'll go down and I'll just break it off and pull it out sometimes. Like, you're, first of all, can I say something without you getting offended? No.

You're a whore. Why? No gag reflex whatsoever goes down there, just fiddles around and gets things out? Honestly, I don't know what it has been lately. I've been gagging lately. I should. In the gay way? No, no, no, no, no.

I mean, in the brushing my teeth way? So you're not gagging, you're like gagging. Well, no, isn't that like... Or gagging? What's the gag? No, no, no. Isn't that like a Wendy Williams, Kiki Palmer thing? Wasn't that the clip?

She was like, the gag is... Right. You weren't there. I've seen those. So it wasn't gay gagging. It was not. It was like... Which is different than sexual gagging.

Duh, dude. Yeah. Duh. Which one were you doing again? I was brushing my tongue. Oh, tongue gagged. And like lately, I have like 10 seconds. And then if I go even a second over that, it's a...

Yeah. So, but lately it has been a little bad. But seriously, if there's something like on like the, like in there, if I could break it up, I'll try to break it up. Because sometimes you can, like, feel it right there. And you do that thing where like... Yeah, does that even try anything? Incheed up the back of your tongue and stuff like that?

There was a kid I used to know he would stick his pinky in his ear and then like his tongue would be like it looked like on this side of his mouth and then would make a weird sound and I'd be like, what is that? I think the fucking in the mask, Jim Carrey does that what he like can't hear and he's like, oh yeah. You know, I don't understand people's like horniness with itching their ears or something.

I do get that sometimes because sometimes it feels like a piece of earwax kind of like falls into my canal a little bit and then my ears get kind of itchy because I'm like is my voice vibrating and it's like itching my ears so I start smacking right here I swear to God

I do that because I'm like I gotta get this thing out of there this hurts dude yeah no no no it's back here it's like right behind my ear because that's what it feels like bro the AC's broken here I'm gonna be a fucking puddle by the end of this

yeah we'll be good but I literally just start smack your gills just so like kind of loosening it up? Yeah, I smack my jowls. It's getting hot. It is getting a little to see in here. All right, I didn't know. I'll have to try that next time because I've gotten like itches in my ear where it feels like it's like my brain that needs a scratch. Yeah. But like I normally... I do some stuff like that too. I do like I'm on fucking PCP. You know what I mean? Like I got an ear

itch. Well, I started doing that too, but then I start convincing myself that it's a bug and I get real scared. That has happened. Speaking of a bug, do you hear about this fucking explosive butt bug that's going around? Yeah, there's other ways to say it for sure. But yes, I do know what you're talking about. There's a parasite going around that gives you diarrhea, and I just want to say to this parasite, I don't need you to show me how to shit like that, right?

I can do that all on my own. I don't need this parasite. Appreciate it. It's a chivalrous parasite. It's like, let me help you out here. Yeah, like, it's nice to have an excuse as to why there's diarrhea, but like, I don't need you. Dingle dangle,

cha, cha, cha, as your family says. Well, there was a day that we recorded and we got lunch

and the next day I was like, I must have gotten food poisoning. I think I texted you like that day or a couple days after. I was like, yo,

I think I got food poisoning because like, I've been in shambles all morning. And like for the whole day, like I just, I felt like shit. Like I felt sick.

And like, you were in ruin. I was in ruin. I was basically a rubble of a man. Like Athens. Frankie rubble. Yeah, like Athens.

Parts of it. Yeah, the Parthenon. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But, and then a couple days later, you had, you said, like, I must have been the Brought worst I had at this bar I went to. Which was in hindsight a mistake. I mean, did it taste good? It was room temperature.

So it wasn't even a hot? Well, the thing is, like, I went to this place that's like a pop-up. It's for the World Cup. They show, like, the games there. so it's not typically a place where they have food. Yeah, it's like where they have food or like drinks even. Like they set up bars and stuff. So I went there.

The line for the drink, I literally got there for the USA game. I forgot how they were they playing. But they, I got on the line with like seven minutes into the game. I didn't get my drinks until half time. So I ordered food when I did that. And then when the food came eventually,

it was already like, it was kind of room temperature. So I was like, I'm gonna But I mean It's a cooked hot dog Like you're broad worse Like you're fine But it turned me up

You thought it was the brat It wasn't It's this fucking ass bug Well we don't know I think there is a We can now say with comfort And security that it might have been that We can say with comfort and security

That it may have That it meant We could say with the utmost confidence That it might have been that Yeah I mean is that not science being able to say, like, I am confident that it might be this answer. Maybe, yeah, I don't know, but, dude. It's like going around, like, and it started at, like, the beginning of May,

and people are, like, just reporting it now. It's called, like, Chlorisospropatis or something like that. Oh, I knew a kid in high school and that named Greek guy. Oh, yeah, 100%. What was it? Kronos. It's like, Stampopolis. Something like that, Chlorisostopolis or something. Yeah, that dude said owns a diner. He also owns three Burberry shirts that he, where it's on rotation. Yeah. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And he calls himself a Greek god. And he has an omega symbol tattooed. I can keep going. But you can. Should I? No. All right. Um, but, uh, you were gone. You were in Portugal. I was in Portugal. I do you spudjupai. I will say when you do that, I know you're kind of joking, but at, Ed, you are saying words, I think. I know. Shudupai is like,

I remember our old friend used to say that. I think to his dad. Are you sure we know what it means? Hey, dad. Oh, maybe? I don't know. I mean... Well, did they have a good relationship?

Because maybe it's... Yeah, they had a good relationship with their dad. Oh, okay. Remember Mani? Yeah. Yeah. He was Portuguese and he would be like, oh, he's still Portuguese.

He is, yeah. I spoke to him like a couple of months ago. Really? Yeah, he's got like kids and shit. He's doing all right. Wow. Yeah. Look at that.

We went to... There was a... kid that we knew in high school named Manny, who was Portuguese, and he was the only person that we knew that was Portuguese, so naturally we know everyone that is Portuguese now. Right. You know? But yeah, so you were crushing it over there. Yeah, had a couple of wines, had a couple of pastel dinada. Bastellinada. Yeah, it's, we went to a class. My name is Peter Parker, but I'm also Spider-Man. This July, we're faced with a threat. I can be anyone. The world may have forgotten Peter Parker.

I'm just a neighbor. Friendly neighbor. But he hasn't forgotten them. Sometimes Spider-Man has to do the hard thing. That's my responsibility. Dr. Banner? I didn't know you could get that big. Spider-Man, brand new day.

In theaters, July 31st. So you make them. Oh. What was that? That's what they say. Oh, that's it. Wait, so you were making food and shit like that? Well, I just went to a class and we made those.

Pusteli d'alus. Yeah. And we, uh, we've like made the custard and shit, which by the way, the process of making custard is kind of gross. Isn't it just like cold cream that's like beaten in to glitter? I was beaten cream for sure, yeah. And like you do it over like ice, right? Well, you do it overheat and then you take it off the heat eventually and then you're like, you know, it's supposed to. What kind of custard was a vanilla?

Uh, whatever the yellow one is. It was like kind of lemon. It was, we put lemon, we put a cinnamon in it. Are you starting to go back and you're like in like in? like lemon pastries now? Um, no. Like,

they're not my favorite. I don't like, I don't like, um, like key lime pie. I'm like, I had legit key lime pie when we were in Key West and it was like good.

It's not like what you expect, like where it's just like, that's lime, but it's cold. Like it's, it tastes, it's more, there's more depth to it than that.

What's the shit called? The thing that used to look like my old hair. What's that called? A meringue. Yeah, a meringue. Why do they do so much of that? Let's get more cake in this.

Dude, the French are, I know you weren't in France, and I know we're not talking about the French. I'm going to bring them up, though. Because they came up with marangs, I think. Did they? They're so up their own butt about food, dude. About meringue? Dude, they love maranges out there.

I'm good. And they're like, we're going to touch it a murang. I don't know who that was. That was literally not an accent that exists in the world. Well, we are going to test this marang? That's better. That's better. That's a little bit better.

Yeah. But I don't know. Do you ever see the like patient, they're like desserts, but they're like hard meringue? And you like, isn't that called something? Yeah. Isn't that a, who's the shit that you spit all over the table? Uh, fuck, what was that called? Pavlova.

Pavlova. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's like a cake. That's like a cream and fruit cake. Is it? Because that, I thought that was like hot. It feels like a fucking, what's that called? Silicon.

Silicon? Yeah, like Pavlova. Pavlova, I think. it's like a, it's like a dessert dish. It's not like the thing. Well, whatever is part of that. That's the thing that you spit all over the table. I don't like how you're saying that. I know, I know I spit it. I didn't like how you did it with your actions. Because I was sitting across from you getting hit with Debris. All right. Can I fucking talk now? Please. Oh, yeah. Now we're going to get off it. This is from Sally's baking addiction. What is that? The website?

The website. Because I refuse to use like Gemini AI answers. Is a dessert popular in New Zealand? in Australia. Give me an accent. Is it what? A dessert popular in New Zealand and Australia. All right. All right. It's not as common here as in the States

made from egg whites that are slowly baked into a relatively cool oven. Egg whites. Just a lot of egg white shit. It's mainly fresh whipped cream and piles of fresh fruit in like a cake like. That's a Pavlova?

Yeah. Oh, so I don't even know what I'm talking about that. I mean, I think meringue is in there somewhere. what the egg whites are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever made one in like a, in like a really fast? A mixer? Yeah.

They're cool and they're like, they're good when they're peaking. What does that mean? Like if it comes to a peak, like kind of like shaving cream. Oh. I'll tell you what. You think like they're edging like marangs. They're good when they're right there. We don't go too far.

What are the, when you're cooking, then, they got the white. The white? When they fold. Yeah, but the, the, the, the, the tool I'm talking about, the utensil, like the white rubber where you're like... A rubber spatula? Is it? I mean, I've seen it done with rubber spatula.

So that thing, right? It looks kind of like a dolphin's face. You know what I'm not a beluga whale's face, kind of. You know what I mean? Kind of. You know what I mean? Kind of. For some reason, when I see those, I'm like, those are delicious because I always, like,

I'm talking about the utensil I find delicious. I chewed on one. But I find those amazing because when I was, not amazing, but like when I was younger, and my mom would make cake, she would always just like hand it to me and I would eat it. And lick it. Yeah, because it would have like, which in hindsight I'm not supposed to be eating raw egg mom.

But now whenever I see one, I'm like, whatever's on that, I want to lick. There's a guy on TikTok that makes like pastries, but he'll make them out of like, he'll make like his own like jellies and fruit syrups and stuff like that. And he has that thing where he just fucking scrapes and folds and it just fucking shits on itself and stuff. like that. You know who I'm talking about? Yeah.

That's his night. Or the guy that makes his chocolate, he basically he'll be like, I'm going to make a chocolate baseball bat, but he'll make it look like a butthole. Yeah. Yeah, that guy's incredible of what he does. Mad good, but also... He's a chocolatier. He definitely is, but also very horny, dude. Yeah, yeah. Well, he's not, he like, yeah, he started throwing that

horny thing in, like, later on. Really? Like, at first he was like, yo, I'm just about to chocolate, but now it's like, we're going to make it look like a a dong before we get it to look like a Super Mario or something. You know what I'm saying? That's the exact one, because I was scrolling one day and like Ruby saw

the guy like melting chocolate and this caption said like for the Super Mario Galaxy movie and I was like all right let's watch this and he's making like a full asshole and like fingering the butt and I'm trying to show Ruby a chocolate and Super Mario I'm like yo dude take a Nari

take it easy I will say I think that it does add to the retention of the video because a part of it it's like two videos and one because at the end you're going to get something like you know it's like a train set but in the beginning you're like Is this a squid getting sucked off or something? And then he starts painting and you're like, oh, okay. Oh, I didn't get that at all.

I thought, I thought, I think he's trying to, like, lean into, like, I can make some cool stuff with chocolate, but I'm going to make you, I'm going to peek you. Yeah, yeah. You know, while I'm doing it. It's like, I'm going to clickbait you a little bit with, like, some, some potentially vagina-looking stuff. Definitely. Would you ever, like, get, like, a chocolate, like, mold of your face or something? There's also a couple. Hell, yeah.

You could do, like, chocolate molds of your asshole. And your penis. I saw that. I mean, you could definitely mold your, your, uh, your ding dong for sure. Yeah. I've seen those. I've never done that, though. I've never have either, but like, how?

I would, I'm just afraid that when it's done and I just like put it down, I'm going to go. Now let me ask you the age old question. Here is the age old question. I don't know that I want to see it detached from me. That's fair. You know what I mean? That is super fair. Like I've gotten to know my penis as a part of me.

Seeing it like over there, I'll be like, yeah, you know what? Yeah, exactly. Huh? Exactly. Like, I can look down at it, but the second where eye level, I'm going to be like, well, why are you getting down to its eye? You mean, like, it's on your plate on your table? Like here, it's like closer to my eye level, but I'm looking like, I'm looking down.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess, but here's the age old question. And this is a serious question. Have you ever looked up at your penis? Have you ever looked up at it? Oh, how would I do that? Like, I'm hanging upside down like a, what do you?

Why would I be in that position? I'm just saying, have you? I don't think so. should we do that? Not together. I mean, go into the other room. I'll close my eyes and just give me an idea of what it. The other room that he's pointing to isn't a room.

This is one room. No, there's a wall there, a wall here. There's curtains over there where you guys film OPL. You can go behind the curtain. I guess I'll see it. I'm not going to do that. Why not? Because I don't know that I want to.

I was just asking if you have. I don't think I have. I think for dexterity purposes, by the way, this is a weekly episode. We're fine. We're all right. Ant can't stop us. It's fine. They can blow me again.

I think you should. I think you should go behind this wall, lay on the concrete ground. And just look up. And just look up at your wing. My wing. I think you should. I mean, you're not going to. I'm not going to know.

Okay. The question I was going to ask, the age-old question. Yeah. If you were to get a chocolate mold of your penis. Yeah. And you eat it. Right. Are you gay?

Hell no. First of all, I ate my flesh real penis in my dream. Yeah, but that was a dream. That wasn't, like, actually happening. I'm gay because I'm eating my own chocolate dick. No. I agree. I mean, I don't think, I think if it's chocolate and you can try it.

But remember, like, Spencer's would have, like, gummy penises or, like, you know, bachelorette parties. I would eat those. I don't care. They'll be like, woo, we got pasta, and it's shaped like a cock. Yeah, I would eat that. I don't care. You don't care? I mean, I just wouldn't, you know, I don't think it's gay unless I take this chocolate thing and I, like, you know, make love to it all the time and I marry it and I, I'm in a relationship with it now.

Then I'd be gay. Okay. This is not where I thought it was going to go. What did you think I was going to say? I thought you were just going to stop at the eating it, but then you went on with a full-on relationship. I mean, yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, I mean, I probably... Gay is about love, maybe.

It absolutely is. Love is gay. We all be love and gay. How about that? Gay is about love. It absolutely is. right into it. I got called out by a gay guy. Just stop there. Okay. I don't want to. Eric Sedano, he does the, I did the Wild Wild Web podcast and he posted a clip of us talking on the show and he's like,

you did the thing where it was like Word Association years ago and you said gay and I said me. And I was like, yeah, all right, you know, but he called you out on that? He was a joke. We were like, it's like gotcha journalism. But the internet. kind of ships us as like gay icons. Guycons? I don't think we're gay icons. I think that we're galis. A big gali, dude.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, just take the G out of it. I'm an ally all the way, because if you just say this is the G, you're forgetting the lesbians, the T, the cues, the I's, the A's. Are lesbians not gay? They're gay. I think they are by act gay, but they wouldn't... By act?

Yeah, what makes you gay is going through with it. I don't know. I was thinking by act. I was thinking of a play. I'm like, which act? Act two, lesbian is gay. Yeah, I was like, which act is this? I have, I can ask, I have a lesbian friend, I can ask her, uh, if she considered...

Just get that lesbian on the horn, and we're going to figure this thing out. We're going to misbust this thing. Um, misbust it. Is that what I said? Yeah. Uh, I think that like all lesbians are gay, but not all gays are lesbians are lesbians, just like frogs and toads. I'm really going to stop you before that starts again, honestly.

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Thank you guys so much. That has put us on the leaderboards. I think we're like three in the world and overall Patreon. You guys are absolutely crushing us. The support is so incredibly amazing and we are seriously eternally grateful. Thank you guys so much. If you are not a patron, go over to patreon.com. Take a gander. Go take a look. There's different tiers there. Find the tier that works for you. That first tier, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. So if you see the clips record, you're like, oh my God, that must be from a new episode. Where can I find it? You could find it early on patreon.com. And then that second tier, you find exclusive episodes. Oh, dirty, filthy, rotten, fucking exclusive episodes every single Friday. So there's never a week without us. You're going, you're going only a couple days

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We got some live shows lined up for you. I can't as of recording speak to what is still available. But if you go to thebasemanyard.com, you can click around, see if we're coming to a city near you and see if there are some shows available. There are some places where we added second shows. So go check it out. Thebasemanyard.com. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Sanagato Studios.

Do your homework. Type away. Back to it. Yeah, buddy. Let me ask you a question about cooking. We were talking about it before. Because you were making the expostal you untinda. Yeah, we're making a passion de nada.

By the way, this happens to me every single time. This is a different topic, by the way. Every single time that I go to Europe and I come back home, I'm like, I hate the fact that I can't speak in other language. It drives me insane. I mean, you could use, like, apps to... I've done that. Kind of learned...

It's just I fall off and I don't. It's a lot to keep up with. Like it does help for sure. But like, and I know like a decent amount of Spanish. So I'm like, I just want to like a part of me is like maybe I'll just like hire a tutor. And like once a week talk for like an hour. I think that like it can only benefit you one because you travel. Two, like learning a different language, it kind of boosts your brain activity and keeps you fresh and stuff like that.

It could be pretty cool. Like you, you, I mean. Oh my God. If I was fluent before. That would be insane. I mean, I don't think there's a reality where I'm fluent in anything. I'm barely speaking English properly. At this point.

I could see, if I were you, though, I would do Spanish and Italian because those seem like more... Two. They're very closely related. Sure. I mean, like, well, the reason I even brought this up because while I was in Portugal, my driver, for one of the days, we hired a driver, take us to wineries. Responsible. Good job. Also, Hills.

Good job. He didn't really speak a lot of English. English, which everyone there spoke a lot, like a... Falo Portuguese. Yeah, which is what I... Isn't that this means I don't speak Portuguese? That means speak Portuguese. Oh.

Oh, now follow. Now follow. Yeah. Now follow Portuguese. Yeah, that means I don't speak. But he was trying, but it was tough. And he was like speaking Portuguese and I was just like, fuck. Because usually, like, if someone's doing that and they're speaking Spanish,

I can understand them for the most part. But I was like, damn, dude. I got nothing here. Do you ever feel like a filthy American? Frank. All the time. All of the time. I'm embarrassed to talk out loud. I just want you to know this is a byproduct of this.

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so hard at these videos. Did you see the one, the guy from Belgium crying or Germany? I don't remember which. Confuse them. Well, no, I'm not confusing the places. I don't remember if the individual was from Germany or Belgium. But the flags look simple. I please don't please I'm not if anyone get I don't want to offend

anyone over there oh I'd like to offend Belgium first of all fuck Belgium we play them I know we do so now I'm over it so man they beat

they knocked us here's a goal the last time that we got knocked I believe it was with Tim Howard I saw the picture like the graphic

the other day I think it was 2000 well that was not the last world no because they didn't make the last world right right

it was the one before that I was there I was at Rockies when that happened and there was a there was a there was a

two things this is going to be good. This is going to be really good? The last time we played Belgium. I think I remember what the story you're going to tell. There was a little person. Yep. Dressed as Uncle Sam. Uh-huh. Standing on the bar, pouring shots into my mouth. And that was one thing that happened a lot. And then the other thing was there was a girl there. And she said, if the U.S. wins, I'll show everyone in here my tits. Titties, yeah. And we lost. she did it anyway

that's what I was going to say she let it rip anyway which I think that the bar appreciated because it was like it was a somber moment let the record show I hated that bar Rockies so I was not there but it was a great vibe for the US game

but like what has been happening is like for those that don't live in America let me explain something to you we are insane but we are mostly good people but a lot of us are also really stupid and people confuse the stupidity with being bad

I guess at certain points you can blame stupidity for being bad but you're seeing these people at the World Cup traveling here in North America and it's like they're just they're having good times because like for the most part people are nice but there's also a lot of stupid people well we just got bad PR

we do I mean I mean I mean But the PR has also been put in the position because of some of the stupid people. And I'm not saying all people that vote a certain way are stupid. I just think that they refuse to acknowledge that maybe they're wrong. I'm disconnected from the point. The point? I see what you're saying. I'm saying like, because I've seen people saying that too where they're like, you know,

I think that I had expectations of what the U.S. is going to be like and it's like completely, everyone's super nice. It's awesome and blah, blah, blah. People say that about like New Yorkers too where they're like, you think that they're so mean and this and that, but everyone's been pretty accommodating and whatnot. Yeah, I think the point that I was trying to make is that, like,

yes, as a country, we are sometimes often what the caricatures depict us as, giant hamburgers, a trash can of nachos, you know, beer that is measured by feet. Yeah.

You know, not by, you know, volume or, the 10 foot beer. Yeah, let me get a nine foot beer case. But, like, we are also when you get to see some of the people pretty nice.

Yeah. You know? But the point that I was trying to make originally is I think that you could and probably should just pick up a language. I know I don't want to make, I don't want to spend your time for you because I know you're very busy and you work a lot. But like in your spare time, if you could just scroll and try to learn something. I do.

I do. So what is the three languages you'd want to learn like legit? Three is outrageous. I want to learn. I just want to be like I want to learn. Spanish. Okay. Because that's the one

that I have experience with. So I'm like, I want to just get better at that to the point where I can be very conversation. So when you, when you yell at

Hispanic people in New York, you know what you're yelling at them. Well, when I yell at Spanish people in New York. No, more than anything, I feel like with the way I look, if you go into a place,

and this actually happened at the, uh, where I got, got the Bratworth's. But the food was taking forever. And some of the workers there were Spanish dudes. And Daniela was there, Margo's wife.

And she's Colombian. And I was like, you know, you should start. And she's like, yeah. Because she's like, she went over. She's like, I'm going to ask him where the food's at. And then she came back. I'm like, did you speak to him in Spanish? She's like, yeah.

Well, yeah, because like. Then we got it immediately. If the whitey comes up to the Hispanic workers in the kitchen and they're like, excuse me oh la don't estami comida they're just gonna be like fuck this person

yeah yeah but if you go up and you're like in you're in the club then they'll just be like all right you know because there's a shared experience yeah yeah you know that's why when she walked over and talked to him I was like you speak to him in Spanish she was like yeah

and then he came right back with the food I was like if I walked over and said that in English there's no way I try to like it depends I don't get that opportunity a lot, but actually Miles called me out for it the other day. We're like, you're going to kill me for this. Oh, my God.

Is this Karen Frank? No, it's not Karen Frank. It's the opposite. It's New York Frank. Where we went to the Yankee game, and it was like a Hispanic dude at the gate of the parking lot. And I pulled up, and he's like, you got a pass. I was like, yeah, no problem, big dog. And Miles was like, who is that?

Big dog? No problem, big dog. Miles was like, why did you do that? I was like, you don't get it. It's a New York thing, dude. You're from Jersey. You don't get it. So it's like, he's like, you got a pass.

Big dog. Big dog. Big dog is great. And then him and Becca were making fun of me and they were just like, uh-oh, here's New York, Frank. Yeah. But like, it is. Like, if you, if you're from the place and you can be in the club, be in the club,

you might get treated like a little bit better because there's just be like, oh, here's another guy with Jersey plates coming. But it's like, no, I'm from, we're one and the same. Dude, you know what I did twice in a row? I don't know why I did this, honestly. I think that is, whatever. We're not moving. But we went and looked at an apartment recently.

And just because we were like, ah, like for fun, whatever. And we went and saw this place. And I called the guy when I was outside. And he picked up and he said, hello? And I said, how's it up? Oh, yeah. Like that? And he said, and I was like, oh, yeah, we're outside, right?

Yeah. Then we're waiting outside. Then he opens the door. I did it again. How's that? I don't remember. There was like two different versions of it, but it was basically that. I was trying to combine like three different greetings at the same time.

I did that the other day and I accidentally, I was going to say, like, oh, what do you do? You know, like, I was meeting people through like the work opportunity thing. And like, you was like, oh, what do you do for work here? Like, what's your role? And how's it going? so I asked, how do you do? Well, that works. I know, and I stopped, and the guy was just like,

I'm good. Yeah. How do you do is hilarious because it's like, yo, this is mad British. You know, mad British. And like, it's people that knew, like, know us. Yeah. So, like, they don't expect to hear,

how do you do? How do you do? You know, at that point, I had to fully, like, buy into it. You're going to wear a top hat. All right. I think you should learn Spanish. Yeah.

You're going further, which it doesn't need to. But like, if you're with Spanish, you kind of can pull off Italian and like, probably. Adjacent Portuguese. Dude, I'll tell you this. That language doesn't feel very similar to Spanish at all. Really? At least to me. Which, like, I have a basic understanding of Spanish.

So, like, there are certain words that I guess look similar, but there's a lot that's different. Yeah. I wonder who are the Portuguese, like, conquered by because that's what that's you can trace the lineage of like the language that way like i don't know the spanish in south america they were like conquered by spain you know yeah so like what is portugal who are you asking me who was portugal conquer i do not know that you'd be able to figure i imagine it was like the italians or the spanish and it just kind of moved into its own dialect. I do know a little bit of Italian and sometimes that messes up the Spanish because

like they are similar. Yeah. So like sometimes the words feel the same. Yeah. From what I remember learning Spanish there, some of the words are like the exact same words just pronounced differently. You know what I'm going to start doing just like watching shit in Spanish and like listening to Spanish? Like you got to just like immerse yourself. You can't. You won't be able. What do you? No, I'm not going to understand. What are you going to watch at telenovel. No, but yeah, not that. But, like, I think that would just help to be hearing it all the time. Hmm.

I don't know. Isn't that what people do? Isn't that how babies learn? They're just around it. They are. That is weird, isn't it? Some babies could just be around Spanish speaking. Bro, you know what I was thinking about walking around Portugal? I'm like, dog knows Portuguese. Yeah, the dog, the animals, it screws me up, too, because I'm like, it's the same dog that we have over here, but it just hears Portuguese all.

Yeah, like it knows a language. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's kind of weird. It fucks me up. Do you see cool dogs over there? Didn't see a lot of dogs, to be honest. Really?

No. Birds. Birds, brother. Hell of birds. They're flying around and singing and shit. Yo, one night went to, because it was like a festival over there that weekend, but I went to dinner, and we were sitting at this table that was kind of like half, outside, half inside type of thing. And there was a river right behind us.

and there's just like an area with a lot of people kind of like hang out just like shops and shit like near the water and in the middle of the dinner all these fucking drones

showed up and it was like a drone show oh where they like they start spitting out purple smoke and I was like what the fuck that's kind of cool

bro I was scared drones are scary because they're two lined up Like they're lined up perfectly and I'm like Gun on this is we're all dead You know what I'm saying? Yeah I mean I you're you are at that point You're at the mercy of those drones and

And like they're so small And they're just like all they're just it's very uniform Like they all move together And I'm like I don't like that Yeah I like it feels like I don't Yeah I like the government's here Like Stepford wives Remember that that movie?

Yes Where like they're all like it's like what's going on here? Yeah, I just was like, oh, God, these drones are fucking, like, you know? Yeah, I wouldn't like that. I've seen, like, people do, like, they do, like, drone shows at, like, Disney and stuff now where it'll be like, oh, look, there's, you know, Moana in the sky, and it's like, it's cool.

It's cool, but, like, well, they can just sink up the drones, and I'm sure write a code, so this one goes there, this one goes there, this one goes there. I know. That's freaky. But then it's like, yo. I don't know. Like, this is, like, if they had a lot more of those, what would we do? I mean, they have a lot.

They do. They have a lot. I mean, I'm sure, I do use them in a war-like fashion. In war fashion. Yeah, so, but I'm just like, it kind of freaked me out. Like, I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm just, I'm just at the mercy of the drone. You absolutely are. And at least you know that.

Where do you even hide? I just got, I guess, I guess, I'm a drone. Just behind a locked door. Yeah, yeah. In the forest. You know, they can't get through those trees. I would just walk around with nets. that's a great idea

or like that gun that shoots a net oh like the big one that and like it shoots out like that is that real? I can't imagine it if you're like a dumb ass deer or something it's real you know what I don't believe in that if I'm being chased by a cowboy

that he can lasso me get the fuck out of you yo if anything there's no way you're probably easier to lasso than a fucking bull or any other animal because you're running your fucking pencil You're running like this. And they just get it around you and then pull it.

I just can't believe. I don't believe in that. I'm kind of on board with you. But the minute I take a second to think about it, I would be lassoed very quickly. But do you think that I can't juke a lasso? Like if we were in like a bullpen. Well, here's the thing.

You're not jukeing a lasso is you would have to juke the horse that the lassower is on. Which you ain't doing that, brother. I could juke a horse. You could juke a horse. I think. I mean, they're definitely, I'm, Joey, you're not fucking Ledany and Tomlinson. You're not jukeing a horse. Is it hard to juke a horse? I'm not trying to pull you here, but I like, how hard is it to juke a horse? I mean, I imagine because, like, if you ever seen... They're not like going side to side. Like, if you ever see horses, when they, like, kick up their back legs, they can kind of like whip them around a little bit, like their ass? They don't run like that. Brother, I think you, I don't think you're, you're, you're jukew

a horse and I think if there's a cowboy on it with a long ass rope, they'll, they'll for sure lasso you. I'd be, I honestly would be like astounded if I'm being chased by a guy on a fucking horse and he was able to put this lasso around me and then hop off the horse and hog tie me? What the fuck? Here's the thing. I am both on your side and off of your side. I am, I believe that like, I'm not getting fucking lassoed, but also, like I said, you're a, a five foot 10 individual running like you're running straight up if anything they just got to make a rope

wider than your shoulders I guess it is about the big circle it's about the circle and it like falls like but here's the thing down on you and then they whip it I know but they have to get that timing right because with a bull all you got to do is get it around its head and it stays there but that's

I imagine harder to do than a human because a bull is running like this and here's the head you're running like this brother So you just need to get it down like that I know but once it starts going down Yeah I don't know Do we know any fucking cowboys

I don't know any cowboys or cowpersons I don't I want to make sure I'm being incredibly inclusive there Yeah they could be whatever they want to be I really want to step in one of those traps where it's like rope on the ground And you step on it and it just fucking I do have a question Yeah yeah I want to be trapped I love booby traps

Dude like I'm like I'm not gonna lie I'm obsessed when I was younger I was obsessed with two things booby traps and lava. Yeah. If you got me a round of volcano, I was picking it up and playing with it in my hand. Yeah, bad idea. I am... I want to be trapped. Trap doors? I want to be trapped in some capacity.

In a cage. But like, just for the sake of me, just call it a booby trap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, don't call it like, oh, this is an old-timey, like, prison trap. I don't know. But like... Give me a booby. Call it the booby. If I'm walking through the forest and something catches my leg and hangs

me upside down, uh, scared, but... Love it. I love when they... Love the creativity. When they, like, walk over a pile of leaves, and it's just a giant net that closes in and brings them up. I would pay money to go on that.

I kind of would, too. We should... We should come up with a business idea for, like, an amusement park or a section of an amusement park, where you're just getting trapped in things. Like, kind of like Legends of the Hidden Temple, but of its traps. Oh, I'm not...

No. You know? Why not? It's called traps. I don't know that you can enjoy anything without trying to turn it into a business. Listen, man. Every time you have something that you like, you're like, let's just make money off. Capitalism.

Am I not? You're right about the Americans. Capitalism. Yeah, I mean, capitalism is a disease. I have been forced, fed the thinking that I have to turn anything in every hobby I have into a money-making opportunity. Even getting trapped. Dude.

Trap doors. You're going to tell me if there was an experience where they're like, yo, 60 bucks, you walk through a 20-minute walk-through. Like, kind of like Halloween Horror Nights or something like that, those like scary mazes. But you'll get fucking trapped. But then it's over. The first trap's got you.

No, no, no. You get trapped for like 10 seconds. You're like, whoa! And then you go on to the next trap. Right. Come on. Hey. Now I don't hate it.

It'd be a trap door into a slide. That'll bring you to the next room. Ooh, would you go on one of those water rides where you're kind of like in the thing and they shut it and it's like the floor falls out and you slide it out? One million percent I would do that. That looks so sick. We, at Splush Splash, we went on like that really, really tall one. Yeah. That shit is crazy.

Oh, I've not been on that. Were you not with me? They had a smaller one that I did. Oh, you were afraid. But the one that's 150 feet in the air, I'm like, good. Really? Yes, cute. Oh, I loved it.

I could only do something like that if I, like, if there was no line. so I didn't have to think about it and I could just go up and just go. Oh, but if I have to wait. If I'm standing in line waiting, and then you're going up slowly and you're like, yeah, we're getting higher,

we're getting higher, like, a freak. What doesn't help those rides is the buzzer to like, you can send the next person just sounds like, you know what I mean? Like they didn't make it.

Yeah, like make it like, woohoo next up. Or something more inviting than eh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? A woohoo next up. Well, Maybe you should hold on to your ideas for a second.

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So rocketmoney.com slash basement. Enjoy that. I actually saw something that you kind of, you brought up something that made me think of it before, but last week in our. county, one of the towns was doing a fair, like a fair, like, you know, rides and shit like that. Have you ever, like,

done one of those, like, games where, like, you have to throw the ring on a bottle or, like, pop balloons with a dart? Yeah, of course. Bro, when's the last time you did that? Oh. When's the last time you went to a fair? Like 10 years ago.

Really? Okay. No, I stopped by one and get defried Oreos. Hell yeah. Bro, I, face-fucked. funnel cake. Fuck yeah. Dude. And got oysters,

which was a crazy thing to get it. Mixed? Yeah. You went to a fair and got oysters? I went to a fair. I got a hot dog,

Mr. Softie, and oysters, and I ate him in that order. Hey, what's going on with your body? How are you even alive today? Does your stomach not look at you and go,

what are you doing? Here's a thing. My stomach can't hurt if it always hurts. It's at a baseline of hurting. That's called torture. Damn right.

It is, baby. Mr. Softie, a hot dog and oysters. So we went a couple days, which honestly, I, one day, I had two hot dogs, six oysters, a shrimp cocktail, nachos, empanadas, Mr. Softie, and a funnel cake. Whoa. That is so fire. But like, it doesn't count if you're at a fair because you're walking the whole time. Hmm.

That's an interesting theory that I think is. is not true. Yeah, but it's like when you're on vacation, calories don't count on vacation. Right. If you're at a fair, same exact thing. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? The point that I'm trying to make is they had those like carnival games, you know,

like the boardwalk games, whatever they are, like spray the water, pop the balloon, yada, yada, yada. Bro, you don't win anything anymore. They have signs on it that says, this is a store, and you pay for whatever prize you want, and then you can just play the game. Isn't that insane? Damn lips have ruined boardwalking. No, that's crazy. Dude, I like...

What's the point of playing? Just to get the thing. You don't even need to play. You can just say, I want that. I don't mean to be... This is the most boomer thing that I've probably said in a very long time. Nobody correct me.

But isn't that, like, bad... I think... For like a child? I think... You could just get it. Just get it. Get the biggest thing. I think it is.

And like, yes, I agree. Like, I was fighting my nature because there's a part of me that's just like, all right, I'm sure this has something to do with gambling. And, like, that's not good for kids at that age to experience. What's gambling? If you're paying to play a game that you might lose, like, to get a stuffed fucking dog or something. No, that's not gambling. You're competing.

I think that the justification is that they are probably saying that it's something with gambling. Like, same thing happened with like... Oh, now we don't love it. gambling this country? I mean, apparently not. New Jersey? Apparently not. But I saw it, it had a sign on and said, this is a store.

And each of the things that had like a price. So like if you want that stuffed animal, it's $20 instead of $10. You pay $20 to play. You play the game and you get the stuffed animal. That's outrageous. I kind of agree. That's outrageous. Are we being boomers if we're just like, you kind of need some competition back into it?

Of course. That's the whole point. I was, I could not believe it. I felt like, oh, maybe I'm just old and washed up. I feel like, like, it's fun to be competitive and to like earn it. I agree. Like you're raising, like, that's like a, you know what people complain about like rich kids or like Silver Spoon type of thing? It's like, how was that different than that when it's just like, well, we could just buy the thing and this doesn't matter. Yeah. It's like, you don't have to earn it. We'll just buy it. It's like, what's the fun in that? I completely agree. I could not believe it because it made it cooler. Like, no one's going to care about this fucking, like... Was that... Was it...

So if you won, though, you didn't get it for free? No. That is weird. I can see the middle ground of being like... They're not, like, advertising it, and they're being like, you know, if the kid wants to he could buy the thing. I don't just like kids, like cry and you're like, oh, get you the fucking... I can see.

it being cool for like certain games. Like we had the girls play a game where it's like you have to pick up rubber duckies or something and like you win something based off of getting three special rubber duckies. I understand that at that age. But like if I'm a 15 year old kid, I don't want to buy a stuffed animal? That kind of sucks, right?

The fuck am I going to do with a stuffed animal anyway. Is this not becoming like, I'm not one of those people that's just like, now everyone get you participation trophy. But this is an example of like your vilifying competition. Yeah. I don't think that's. Cool. A little competition, you know, it could get intense. I'm wondering how you feel about the participation trophy thing.

Me? Yeah. I think that I think you can honor someone, like you can reward someone for seeing something through and doing something. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, especially when we're talking like Little League sports and stuff like that. But you also then within that need to establish a hierarchy of like what the competitive, aspect is getting you. So like if everyone gets the exact same trophy, even the winners of the league or something like that, I don't know if I agree with that. Yeah. But like, if it's just like, hey, little Joey, congratulations, you did it, you saw it through, you played in all the games,

I'm proud of you. Here's a trophy to show that you completed a task. I think that's fine. I think it's fine as long as it's not, you won. Well, that's why I think it should be like the winners of the league get the big fucking trophies. like if you like get something I guess like you need to reward the I guess that is a participation trophy I think I think we're saying the same thing

like I don't well I don't know if we're saying the same thing I don't think that I guess this is because how I grew up I don't think there's anything wrong with like someone winning and someone losing I also don't think there's anything wrong with like second place and third place like that being rewarded similar to the Olympics

like people win bronze medals and they're fucking super excited for I agree. I fully agree. And depending on how many teams are in the league, but like, that's still like a good thing. I think it's okay because if we're talking kids, like if we're talking for like little league sports, I think it's okay for them to commit to something and to be rewarded for that commitment, i.e. participation trophy, which has become like a hot topic fucking word to say nowadays. Well, I think in the way that maybe it gets conflated with everyone gets the same thing. But that's where I disagree. Yeah, me too. And that's where I think that, like, there should be a reward for winning, doing better than somebody else. Well, I guess also the question that I have now is, like, let's say first place gets a trophy.

Which when we were growing up, I think that was it. First place would get the trophies and that was all, I think. I think so. I vaguely remember sometimes where they would give out, like, remember those little, like, in plastic cases, like, they look like little metals. on a ribbon. Oh, yeah, yeah. Give them out if you were, like, good in English. Yeah.

You know, like, great job in language arts class. Here's a little fucking metal. But, like, the kids who, like, what is, why do they need something physical to be like, you know, because if we're in agreement that, like, if we're all playing in a baseball league and we're all eight years old, you know, or 10, whatever. and the people who win get the trophy because they won. They beat everybody. They should get that. Why would everyone else need one?

What is the positive that we're getting from doing that? I think it's the idea of your rewarding, like, you're kind of encouraging the participation and like for kids to step out and do something like that. So like, but isn't there isn't if they got through it already? Like they've already gotten through. Yeah, but it's kids. Like, you can't just be like a pat on the back is the same as a trophy. Like that's kind of just the world that we live in.

It's a physical good that is going to like make them feel better about doing it. I don't, I really don't disagree with that. I think that the reason that this idea of participation trophy has become such a hot topic conversation in the world of sports, specifically like Little League is because people believe they're conflating it with like if everyone does it they're all on the same

like equal playing ground which is not the case and I don't think I've ever seen that as the case and if it has happened again I don't agree with it but I think it's okay to like have a physical thing to just be like good for you you did this

yeah yeah you know I was hype with the T-shirts First of all, a jersey. Love to that. Dude, if I, I mean, I was good with the jersey. That's why I'm pumped about those jerseys because it's just like, this is ours.

You know, there was a... Yeah, these jerseys. That's good. I, I, I, you like that. I feel like back in the day, I mean, I think I did, like when you're really young playing sports, at least in my experience, and I consider myself a pretty competitive person, I don't think I really cared about winning as much as I cared about, like, just hanging out.

Oh, I cared about winning. But, like, super young? Not super young. Young. Super young, honestly, I don't even remember caring about doing it. I just remember doing it. That's what I'm saying. Like, I liked being on a team because it was like, I get to see my friends and we're

like playing. Yeah. So, like, that's kind of what I cared about. So, like, I didn't, I don't. I don't think the, the intense competition came about until we were like 12. Yeah. Like, before that, it was just like, oh, sports. Then I cared.

Yeah. I mean, maybe a little younger than that, honestly, that I did care about winning. But also, I mean, I was also the type of kid like, I don't want this fucking second place shit. I mean, I don't remember carrying that much. But once we became like, like I said, we would play with like football and we had our own jerseys and stuff like that. Yeah, but that's what I care. No one's giving out participation of 15 year old, right? I don't know.

Maybe. That's outrageous to me. I mean, I really don't know. But you know what pissed me off though when they'd be like, oh, your team? You're the Yankees this year. And we're like, cool, we're the Yankees. And they give us our shirt. And it just says Elmjack.

And on the back, it just says Rocco's Pizzerie. And it's just a blue jersey. Yeah, and it's not even a jersey, it's just a shirt. It's a Navy shirt. You're like, damn it. God damn it. Give me one with the hat, though, right? You could get a hat, but sometimes they were just like standard blue hats or like.

I sponsor a team at IceWIP. I know. I know that's saying. I didn't know that my nephew was playing again this year because my sister was like, maybe we'll play in a different league. So he's not on the Santa Claus Studios team. Really? Oh, shit.

So he's going up against Uncle Joey? Yeah, he's on a different. team now so by us i've seen that like they have more like swag for the kids you know like they'll have like the team actual like team shirt and then on their back it'll say their name and their number oh wow which was so fucking cool when we were kids we didn't have that like i said it was like whoever sponsored it would say senegado studios or rocos pizzeria or astor pharmacy also i don't think you were allowed to pick a number yeah it was just like printed like one to 10 and you got They basically, they were just like, we have a medium, kids medium and it's number four.

You're number four now. Right, yeah, exactly. What size are you? And it was just here. Don't even know what number you are. Yeah. Bring the shirt back. And if you don't, just wear a blue shirt.

Yeah. I remember one year I had gotten for Christmas, my mom got me a personalized white socks jersey of all teams. For why? I liked Joe Creedy. You like Joe Creedy? Dude, he was sick. It was when they won. They had a sick team.

It was like Joe Creedy And I liked them And those The all black with the You know the socks on it It's such a sick jersey And she got me one And then like a year and a half later

My my fall ball league Was I think they called it Snowflake Was we were the white socks So like I was showing up To my Little League White Sox game We're a custom white socks jersey

That said Alvarez 80 on the back You're playing fucking second base with number 80? Yeah, I mean, I was not playing second base. I was not that good. I was a catcher or an outfielder, which means... Oh yeah, you did play catcher. I played catcher, and then I played it until I stopped playing in high school. I was jealous, dude, I wanted to play catcher. Dude, catcher is so sick, and I actually got good at it, and then I haven't played. I just thought it was cool to, like, be wearing, like, armor. Dude, it was cool. I felt special because they'd be like two outs. I'd get walked to first base, and then I'd steal second, and they'd be like, there's two outs. I'm the catcher, then you'd pull me off the field. so I can get my gear on and then I'd fucking waddle out there and shit like that. Or you'd be, someone would be in the on deck circle and you'd be, what's that called, by the way,

when you're not in the on deck circle, but you're in the hole, but you're in the hole, so you're still wearing the knee guards and you're kind of like, you're just like, I'm like, damn, this guy's cool. And they're like, all right, you're up and it's like, I gotta take the knee guards off. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she was cool, dude. I did, yeah, I thought it was cool. We had growing up our, uh, our baseball league, did you play ice-wip? Uh, as a little, little kid, and then, uh, and from like, older years, years it was Elm Jack. So the umpire at the league that I played in, it was allergic to grass.

Who? This dude Frank. Oh, I remember Frank. He had the eczema. I remember Frank Frank. He'd pull his mask off. You'd be like, bro, that was outside. And he'd be like, and he pulled his mask off and his eyes were so red, like someone put lemons in there. He was in rough shape. And it was hard to argue with a guy who's clearly going through it. Dude, there were at Elm Jack. I remember Frank. That's so funny that you brought that up. There was two umpires at Elm Jack that I remember. One was named Gene. He was like an old white dude.

Gene's a great name to yell at someone. Come on, Gene! Dude, a really good yellable name. Yeah. And then there was like a like 16 or 17 year old kid named Kenny. Okay. And I would catch and he would call, you know, he was the ump. Yeah.

And I would fucking let this guy have it. I mean, Kenny, you're an idiot. You're so stupid. Come on, Gene. Yeah. You got to put it together, Gene. No, no, no. Dude, did I ever tell you I upped one game?

at Elm Jack. At Elm Jack. I upped one game in the, like, I think it was Bantam. Did you hate it? I never told you this story. No. I upped one game and I got like $20. Hell yeah.

Because hell yeah. And it was like the nine and 10 year old kids. So I believe that was like what we called Bantam. And the rule was like you call the game how it is. But if someone throws four straight balls, like the count is three and O. And they throw a fourth ball, you, expand the strike zone and they have to throw two more just to like make it a little more competitive you know that's a lot of balls i know and one of our friends younger brother i could say it i don't

give a fuck cocoa was on the team yeah and i i called him out on a strike like he got rung up and i was having the time of my like stea you know like oh man i was having so much and he turned around and he was like, suck my fucking balls. Fuck you. Yeah, dude. And like, by the way, this is a meds brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, a med's brother, Coco. And he's like, bro, Frankie, fuck you.

It's a nine-year-old. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. suck my nuts. So I'm like, yo, dude, you got to chill. And he's going off. You're out. And then like, remember, it was the feel that was

all the way on the other side. Yeah. So me walking back to like after the game to like tell the fucking people that work there. Like this kid got to, he's going to get, he got thrown out of the game because of this and you have to suspend him one game. And Ahmed's mom is following me. Like, please don't tell them. He's so sorry. And Coco's on the other side.

Suck my nuts. Fuck you. Yeah. Like, because that's how serious we took it is like, yo, that shit was legit. Yeah. So like I. I got his mom being like, I'm so sorry, but you're family. Like, please don't.

And I'm like walking. And then I got a nine-year-old telling me to suck their nuts on the left. That's hilarious. I'm like 14 or 15 years old. I'm not much older. Yeah. So here and suck my nuts at that age is, that's like war. Yeah, it was crazy.

But I, I, that was such a good time. I want to play baseball with our friends soon. That's really funny. I want to play baseball with our friends soon. Dude, you don't want to just play baseball. Dude, yeah, I just want to play catch. Dude, I played catch in my backyard a couple weeks ago with my brother, and it was so fucking fun.

Catch is great. It was so fun, because, like, it's just catch, dude. I love the smell of a mitt. It's coming in. I'll find myself randomly walking through the house, taking grounders. Like, I'll, like, come into the kitchen, and I'll just be like,

and I'll just like, get your hand on top. What are you doing? Get your hand on top. She's like, what are you doing? And I'm just like, I'm popping up. Yeah. no it's amazing

well listen it's a billion degrees in here and we are going to pass out and have a heat stroke but thank you guys so much for sticking around for this episode and appreciate all the blowing

and where can they find you am presco don't fucking actually give him he decided that he wanted oh he by the way he's not here because Joey fired him I didn't fire him yet

but this this actually feels really good. I heard this makes you hotter though because you're burning energy doing this. And then when you stop, your heart's like going up. How much energy could I possibly be burning doing this? I don't know. But thank you guys so much. You could find us at the Frank Alvarez and at Joe Sanagato all over social media. At the basement yard all over social media. Check out Patreon.

Patreon.com slash the basement yard. The new merch store, sanagato studios.com and the basemanyard.com. If we're coming to a city near you, there might be some tickets still available. Or there might be tickets available in cities that you might want to go and check out. You never know. Go check it out at thebasemanyard.com. Thank you. We love you. And we're going to go take a cold shower together.

Nope. See next time.