The Basement Yard - #565 - Are We Ready For Pie?!

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

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My name is Peter Parker, but I'm also Spider-Man. This Thursday, we're faced with a threat. That can be anyone. The world may have forgotten Peter Parker. I'm just a neighbor, friendly neighbor. But he hasn't forgotten them. Sometimes Spider-Man has to do the hard thing. That's my responsibility.

Talk to Banner? I didn't know you could get that big. Spider-Man, brand-new day in theaters Thursday. Welcome back to the B. We were live. us right in from that. Welcome back to the basement yard. Hello.

That was pretty good. That was pretty good. We sang before. Are we putting that in there? We should. No, no, no, no, no, no. Do you? I mean, I could do it again.

Actually, I probably can't. The lights are on. What could that be? It's whatever I wanted to be. Was that you doing when you're shy? I guess it was a little, you don't act normal when you're shy, I guess. Like, you're just like, some things just like,

what are you? No? All right. Don't look at me like I'm an idiot. I'm taking it in, I guess. Well, how would you do shy? Quiet air? Yeah, just not making a squealing noise.

You don't kind of like a... Well, what was this? Why did you go Rizzler there? Also, what are you making over there? You little piggy? What was that? That wasn't my noise. Squeal.

I'm not necessarily... Ooh, ooh, ooh, with the pig. You squealed. But like, that's not necessarily a noise I'm making. That might be the noise I'm hearing in my head. Like, leave me alone. You know what I mean? You are making the noise, though.

You can hear it. I'm doing it to convey it to you. Oh, you're saying that in your head. In real life, like, ask me to be shy. You want me to just ask you to be shy? Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm doing. Be shy. In my head, it's the squeal.

Is that physically what happens when you're shy, though? I'll be honest with you. I don't, I can't remember being shy ever in my life. I think when I'm shy, I rock back and forth on my feet. Like, I go from my tips to the heels a lot. What's the last time you were shy? I don't know. When I'm shy, I really, I'm just like, just don't look at me.

Like, I don't want to look at me. I don't want to be bothered. I'm going to ask a really weird question. And I hope you guys will follow me here. Sure. Shy is one of those words. Welcome back to Facebook news. Shy is one of those words that like, we've used it so much, but I struggle being able to accurately define it.

Shy? Yeah, like, do you know what I mean by that? But like, there are some words that, like, I, we use. use we know it's like we know what they mean but like if you were to ask me to define it I don't think I could because I think that the word is like what it is it's kind of like shy is the word for that act like you're like yeah but uncomfortable still it's just like I can't define it I know it you know what I mean because it's it's the word I think that's wise because like shy definition is the word itself yeah but it's like an uncomfortable unfamiliar so you're like

Yeah, you're like being more conservative. Like you close. You start closing a little bit. Yeah, I guess. It's just one of those things. But like, I can't remember the last time I was shy. I think the first time I met Becca, I was a little shy. But after that, I can't.

I feel like you're not a shy guy. I'm not a shy guy. Not a shy guy. Not a shy guy. Like, I remember feeling a little shy the first time I met her and I met, but like I had to play it up like I wasn't. You know what I mean? You haven't been shy since then.

I find that hard to believe. I can't think of when. I don't know. It probably happens in moments. It's not like a year of your life. You have shy back in 2008. If we're thinking of shy in terms of like, like you are like I kind of associate shyness with like there's an un,

an inability to put yourself out there. Like I don't recall ever. You've never been in a room where it's like I don't really know anyone in here. It's kind of like, ugh. So there's like a shyness there, I guess. I don't because I guess in that regard, I feel more compelled to want to, to, like, instead of being like, I don't know anyone here, I'm going to kind of go in my shell, I feel more of a like, all right, I guess I should probably meet people.

Open up. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Open wide, you know? But there's a shyness in the beginning. It's kind of like, oh, I don't know anyone here. And you're like, ah, but then you got to like, yeah, maybe.

Yeah, can you know, you get in, you don't know, but you're like, hi, you know, hi. And then you like, hi. Hi. Yeah. Hi. Hi. Hi, I'm Joe. Hi.

I'm Frank. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a very like 90s way of putting shy. Like, hmm, hi, I'm back here. Frank, you just went like this and squealed like a little pig. The squeal was internal.

I don't know why. Squale was out-turnal. We heard it. You heard it because I was doing it for you and our audio listeners. Do it one more time? Oh, like with the external, with the- Yeah, let's go. Those weren't shy eyes.

Yeah, you're like, horny eyes. No way, dude. A little bit, a little bit. No way. I don't think you guys have ever seen my horny eyes. When would you ever have ever seen my horny eyes? When would you ever have seen those.

I mean, I have been at a restaurant with you when the Crembley comes down. Honestly, that's a really, really great point. But that's a different horny. That's like a food horny. Right. But like, shy is like a,

now that we got that stuff. I'll tell you, it might not be shy, but it's shining. Look at that little thing you got back there. award that game, baby. This is a big baster. I could kill someone with that. Brother, you app, why have you immediately thought of that, though?

Just because of the weight of it. It is super heavy. Like if someone came in here and it was like, give me all your money and I beat them over the head with this, they're dead. Be really honest with me about something. Would you have liked it less if it came and you're like, this is kind of light? Yeah. I would too. Because it would feel like cheap.

Exactly. But she's a heavy bitch. She's got some weight and girth. She's robust. That, for those you guys that may for some reason not know, we received an award at the IHeart Podcast Awards for the best duo in podcasting. Well, it says ensemble on it. I know it does, but we have to make sure it's duo.

Oh, wow. I'll scratch it out. I'll scratch that bitch out. Frank doesn't want you involved. That's not true. I love that you're involved. And I'm very appreciative, and I tell you that often. I got to cover my fucking ground because I make one joke about this kid.

And fucking you. That's it. It's over. I got Joey and Greg calling me like, hey, man. That never happened. You might want to be nicer. The ant colony, you know, they'll come scurrying. Are you the queen ant?

Yeah. You are, you know. And you should be proud of that because you've earned that. What's it? They did send them they were going to send multiple. I only saw one. They did not say that. Yes, I did.

No, did they? I specifically asked. And they said, yeah, of course. We'll send multiple. A bunch, I believe. Oh, well, well, only got that one. Yeah, they only got one and it was sent to Joey. It's a rifle spot.

Well, I sent it to my apartment so that it wouldn't get sent here because sometimes it's a little funky with the mail. Fair. I mean, you could have had it. If we win another one, can you have it sent to me and then I'll bring it in? I promise, I swear. Thanks.

All right, cool. If we are so lucky to get nominated and awarded next year or the year after, however many times. Well, humble of you, yeah. I said if we get so lucky. I know. That's what I said. That is humble.

That's why I said that. I want to make sure. Okay. Anyway, you just got back from a lovely vacation. Yes, I did. You were in... First family vacation. Turks and Kekos, both of them.

I was in Turks and Kekos. I will tell you this. You know how I am with travel. Still there. You want to... At one point, I said out loud, I need to get off this fucking plane right now. Oh, wow.

Yeah. I apologize to my daughters who might have heard it. Why were you so... Because we landed 20 minutes early, and then they said there's no gate for us. We have to... to wait and we ended up waiting on the tarmac for 45 minutes. I heard no gay for us. No gate. Oh, you said gate. Oh, no. Yeah, gates. Oh, yeah. It sounded like you said there's no gay for us.

I was like, I demanded three. I needed more gay. Got to the resort? No gay for us. I mean, to my knowledge, there were no gays either. Oh, for that that weren't made of. Statistically, there was gays. Of course. But there was no gate. So how long were you waiting? So we waited on the tarmac for 40 minutes. And I called the person. I didn't say, I didn't say this. You called over the flight attendant? Yeah.

And I said, did you press the button? Of course I did. Oh, my God. How else am I getting them over? Oh, my God. And I said, any update? And they go, we'll tell them to make it. And they made an update that there's no update.

They made an announcement that there's no update. Yeah. And then it was another 10 minutes. And I said, I need to get off this plane right the fuck now. You said that to the flight attendant. No, no, no. I said it out loud to yourself. Yeah.

I said I put the thoughts. Yeah. Speak to the universe and it will speak back. Exactly. I manifested. And did it work? Be fair, we were off there in another 10 minutes. Not bad.

So, it worked. Kind of, right? Yeah. But yeah, it was our first trip with the kids. And I, I, I went in the ocean. Whoa Oh Humble Brack

You clap too Right now Thank you so much Keep going I didn't say to stop You don't really uh You don't really do that Are you changing?

I think I have a reason To go into the ocean And Turgis and Hicos Because I'm no jokes aside I know people say this Yo that beach is fucking crazy Yeah

Like I've never seen White Sand Yeah You know what I mean Like it's been like beige or a dark brown or something. Yeah. And that water?

Blue. Brother? Blue. Abaddi Abadi. Let me tell you. Yeah. Because that shit was like blinding blue. So you were like, I'm going to go check this out.

Yeah. I didn't go past, like, if I stood up, it was at my waist. But I sat, I like sat on my butt and I just kind of like. Played around. I hung out like with the kids because I didn't want them going that farther. Like Miles and Becca went out a little farther and then they come back. Kiyan, did I tell you this? They rented snorkel equipment.

Hell yeah. And they snorkeled, brother. Fuck yeah. I will say this. I don't think I've done many things to give my wife the ick. If she heard me with the snorkel in my mouth, she would have not been sexually attracted to me. Would you, you were snorkeling as well?

They like went snorkeling and they were like, oh my God, like it's so beautiful. It's so peaceful. Like there's like a sense of just like release from what Becca was explaining to me. they saw a bunch of fish. First of all, she comes over and she goes, oh my God, it was so cool.

We saw a barracuda. I go, let's talk about this on the land, though. Oh, you don't like barracudas? First of all, the only barracuda I've ever liked is the team of blue barracudas and Legends of the Hidden Temple. I also wouldn't know what a barracuda is.

I know it kind of looks like an eel and it's got teeth, but are they like, they'll get you. They will get you. It can't hurt me, right? It'll take a chunk out of your fumped. But can it, I'll, but I...

It's not a... I'll survive. You'll survive, but you won't be happy with the damage it hath done. Right. You know, like, you'll pull up a picture of a barracuda. These bitches are not the smallest, and they've got teeth on them.

Are they quick? They're in the ocean. They're in the ocean. So, like, that's like... Oh, fuck, that's way different than what I was picturing. I feel like this is a good... That's a big barracuda, brother.

It's good references. It's only got like seven teeth, though. No, bro. Oh, barracuda. Gum, bum, bum, bum, Did you see what I did to Nemo's mom? Was that a barracuda? Yeah.

It was Nemo's mom. What was her name? I don't even care. I don't even care. Why am I asking that? Like, that's the thing that I have. Joe, this is messing you up, dude. Yeah, big time.

But they go, ooh, we saw a barracuda. It was so cool. I was like, let's go talk about this on the land. So you got scared. Of course I got scared. Bro, what? But then when did you put on the snorkel gear? Oh, they were like, oh, Miles was like, please come with me.

And I was like, all right, I got a. Be a man. I gotta be tough daddy now. Yeah. You know, so tough daddy had to show up. But my breathing was a true. I'm telling you right now,

I said to Becca, I was like, if you had heard that, you would have, what did it sound like? Oh, so like when Darth Vader had like half his mask blown off? Well, dude,

like I don't, it's not, I'm not used to breathing out of my mouth. I'm out of a tube. You know what I mean? So like, and I'm like swimming and I'm in an uncomfortable position

because I'm in the ocean, so I'm like, do you see anything cool? There was a school of fish. Hell yeah. But I thought it was not cool. So I was like, we should go back. I'm hungry. Why, this fish scare you?

The idea of being amongst a group of something, like amongst a group of something where it's like potentially thousands to my one, no matter the size of them, is not cool. What about when we go, on tour. And there's thousands of people.

If you were to put, but like I'm in the environment of people, like there, I have a sense of control there. But you're saying you, we, you'd be uncomfortable if we went on tour and everyone in the stands with fish. Put it like this. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, I would.

If we did a show for an aquarium, yeah, like, I would be like, if I would be like, this is cool, but like there is something here that's scary. Bro, by the way, you see world is putting on concerts nowadays bro one's that you would go to i saw it was like the ying yang twins i saw that shit looked i saw that should look i saw drock and kane and i was like yo honestly i would be there although we don't support seaworld no concerts though the the artists that they hire i'm pumped about yeah but the way in which they make the way in which they make the money

fuck that how about that sea world you got to let those fish out bro let Let the whales be a whale. Let the fucking whales out. Let them swim around. I have, if there are any, like, anti-Seaworld companies looking for a slogan, I got one for you. Hey, SeaWorld, dump them out. I was going to say, hey, SeaWorld, let them see the world. That's way better.

SeaWorld dump them out's not bad either. The Seaworld dump them out is kind of playful and shit, too. Like, yo, SeaWorld, dump them out. Yeah, dump the fucking dump. Dolphins out. Like, let them... I fuck with dolphins. Oh, yeah, I fuck with dolphins.

But, like... Yeah, so I was in the ocean. And, uh, it was, like, it was cool where I was. But going out further, I was, like, not... They had, like, people, like, vendors, like, bringing people parasailing, like, out. I'm good on parisailing. Also, just, like, they're, like, you could sign up for, like, excursions where we bring you, like, an hour off land and you swim around for an hour.

No. Do you see anything? Cool? I imagine they do it because there's cool things about. Oh my God, if I can go out there and see like a fucking whale. Have you ever been to the Caribbean? Caribbean? I don't know, which is like right.

No, I haven't. I'm surprised. Like, that seems like your trip. I know you've been. A big beach. I mean, I would do it for sure. But like they also like, we stayed at a resort. They had stuff on the resort for the kids and for us that was pretty cool.

Yeah. But like. Those vacations always struck me as more. of like a family thing. Yeah, but they have like, and I'm not saying, I'm not trying to be insulting in saying this, but like they have like a Ritz Carlton and like, like, I don't mean that in a disrespectful way.

You know, I'll jump at the opportunity to call you Rich Billionaire Joe. But like, things that are more tailored for a non-family trip. So Frankie got there, he had to, you know, shill out vacation packages. Did I? No, I didn't. Wait, what? I don't get it.

What? You're trying to get them to go. and you get a piece, and that's how you got free to go there. It was a, never mind. No, let me be very clear about something. This trip costs some dollars, okay? Like, time shares. It was, it was a couple bucks. Did you, did you have a day where you're like, I'm getting everything on the menu?

A day? All day? Every day. Did you have any, like, cool drinks? Did you get a pinocalada? Don't fucking piss me off. You're damn right I got a peanut caled. You're fucking talking about.

Damn fucking right, baby. Yeah. Frozen shit every day. Not every. day because honestly like sugary. It was too much. It was too much. And everything there, it's so consistently hot that like you get something frozen, it's melted in

10 minutes. But you got to crush a penis colada. There was a penis collata. There was, they had a brewery there. Whoa. That like the resort had like their beer. Very good. Nice. I enjoyed it. Oh, what's, what's better than an ice cold

beer on a hot day on a beach? I'll tell you this though. Daddy re-found his love. for mint mojitos. Yo, mojitos are up there. Dude. This fucker loves them. Dude, I am so, like, I remember being such a bitch for a mint mojito and then it

went away. It, like, disappeared. It, like, went off to college. And then now I'm fully, like, ingrained in the life of a mint mojito. I am so bad. Is there a reason why you're saying mint mojito? You can do, like, berry mojitos. Oh, I thought they were all.

No, I think the mojito is kind of like a blanket term that could be used. for some different, like different flavors. I'm good with this straight mint, lime mojito. I saw this video the other day. I'm curious to get your, probably not yours because you have a disgusting alcohol palate. But, I enjoy.

You know what you just had like a Jameson in fucking water or whatever. Jameson and tap water, please. What would you like, sir? Ooh, I'll have Jameson and just rub the floor with a sponge. No, but I saw this video where it was like, the espresso martini had its moment, then the approll spritz, like, what's going to be next or whatever? And I don't know if you guys ever had one of these, but you ever have a Hugo Spritz? Not only if I not had that, if someone told, I've not heard of that, and if someone told me, order the Hugo Spritz, I'd be like, how stupid do you think I am? Because that sounds like a drink that came with like a cigarette put out in it.

No, it's delicious. Look at the Hugo Spritz. Hugo. Hugo. Hugo. Like an old Croatian man? No. The Hugo Spritz.

It is two parts vodka. It is three parts put out cigarette. Say half ounce elder flour liqueur. Oh, I don't hate that. Purseko, sparkling water, fresh mint leaves. Oh, I'm in. And then, oh. I'm so in when I saw mint.

Bro, it's good. It's like, is that, what is St. Germain? Is that a gin? It's a liqueur. Yeah, so like, that shit is good, bro. I had one when I was in Portugal and I'm like, I really got to do this more. Dude, I've never, I've never heard of one. I've never had one.

I'll tell you this, the name is basically Pips. What are you picturing when you say Hugo? First of all, what am I picturing that fucking weird movie that Martin Scorsese made years ago where it was like a just like a old, it was like a white kid running through? through a clock or some stupid shit. I have no idea what you're talking about. Tintin? Look at the movie Hugo. No.

Oh. Look up Hugo. Hugo? Hugo movie? Fuck this shit. There is a kid with a clock. Looks Peter Panish. You know what I'm talking about?

I think, isn't that the kid that, isn't that Asa Butterfield? The kid that was in sex education? Is that him? Yeah. And Chloe Grace Moretz and Ben Kingsley and Sasha Baron Cohen. Do you see why the drink sounds like shit? Well, you're, you're... Oh, here's a drink made by Ben Kingsley.

Well, that's not how drinks work. I know. Here's a drink made by a fucking bellhop and a hat, and it's Sasha Baron Cohen. Just try the Hugo Spritz and shut it. Honestly, that does sound really, really good. It's really refreshing. It was really nice. I've had one.

Yeah? Did you like it? No? Yes, I did. I will say... A spritz on a hot day? Dude. Love that.

Yeah, I think the word spritz just... It's like, because it's like... You know what I mean? Like it sounds like it's a good, like it's refreshing because when you want to, you want to be sprited. Well, Sprit on me. You want to be Spratt. Sprat on me. I, uh, I like, I like getting a spritz.

Starting off with a spritz. Apparel sprits, unbelievably overrated. I like them. Uh, so overrated. I, this could, I could see this jumping to the top. Look up other spritses because apparel sucks. There's a sprits at a bar near here. It's watermelon and rhubarb.

Rubarb. You see, I'm, I don't like rubarb. I don't like rhubarb because it's, it's literal poison, if not prepared and given to you the right way. Is it scuse? Rubarb is poison. But like it, you need to have it in like a certain way or a cooked or prepared in a certain way or in some capacity that it doesn't kill you. Let's, uh, yeah, figure out if that's right, because is rhubarb poison. It's R.H. He spelled rebar. R-H-U-B-A-R-B-A-R-B. Roo-B-B-A-R-B-B-R-B-B-R-B-R-B-R-B-R-B-R-B-R-B-R-BORB. Is rhub-BORB-P Poisonousin.

Is rhubarb poisonous? Oh, yeah. Partially poisonous, while the stocks are perfectly safe and edible, the large green leaves contain high levels of some acid. I actually thought you guys were talking about the concrete thing. Rebar. No. Asphalt? No, iron rebar or steel, whatever it is composed of, is not.

poisonous because it's a metal. Yeah, I never, I've never heard of this. Like, would you eat the puffer fish? Oh, I don't know. That's a really good question. I honestly, if I went and it was like, this is one of the three Japanese chefs that can make this, I might. I might.

It depends where I am. I'm adventurous with food. Honestly. Adventurous with food. The biggest pitch with everything else. I am too, but I just, you know, putting me down via puffer fish would be insane. If Joe came back or we found out, oh, Joe went down because he had puffer fish, we'd be like, well. No, he's so mad right now.

You'd be like, he's so mad. Which I would be so pissed off to you. That would be the part. I'd be sad, but also I'd be like, damn, he's not happy. He's dead ready. No, dude, I'd be so pissed off. I'd be at God's HR desk being like, I need a fucking paul. So, Apparel Sprits, sounds great, overrated.

Hugo Spritz sounds awful name-wise but the drink composition looks like it would be amazing. It's great. I mean you can make anything a Spritz really. What makes it as Spritz? Is it the inclusion of the Prosecco? I assume. The Prosecco? Yeah. It's like Perseco like Sparkling Water

Club Soda. What was that thing from a Nogroni Spritz? What was that the thing from the Spagliato? Yes. With Prosecco. The actors that were in House of the Dragon. Oh, yeah. Is that a Spritz? Technically, because of the addition of Prosecco?

Campari spritz. Look at this. Shoot your, shoot your face, Campari. Wow. I am just not a big Campari guy. Limoncello spritz, okay. Vermuth. Bicycleta.

Ooh, a classic Italian variation using dry white wine. Okay. Campari is there again, though. Sprits is on me out. Hold on. Sinar sprits. This sounds like a robot for a Mortal Kombat. I'm in.

an earthy complex option made with Cynar don't know what that is flavor with artichoke leaves yeah get the fuck I like artichoke I do too but like not to drink how do you feel about like cocktails that throw like food in there

like that only the Bloody Mary does that I mean we just saw a version flavored with it I don't think there's like in the cup I mean I imagine they do that like look like that with tomatoes tomato sprits I can not hate it that. That sounds disgusting. I do enjoy garnish. I like when a drink feels like a little piece of art. You know what I mean? I like that as well, but there is a level to it. Like, I want to see the art. I don't want to see it made.

Like that, that's one of those situations. Like, don't show me your sausage. Just show me this. I love when a bartender pulls out the mint. He's just like, no, because I get so, like, we've talked about this. I get so grossed out by bartenders like, touching everything. But like, they'll just like, you like, and they're like, why is that gross you out? It's just weird. Like, I, I know that I'm gonna be. They're mixing a drink. I know, but like this. Like, you suck.

You know what I mean? Like, how else are you going to mix this? I know, but like, know that what you're doing is ridiculous. We just had a conversation about what is it? Self-awareness. I don't know, man. I'm not on the same thing that I find a little bit gross is like, oh, they're touching all my. My garnish is just like their hand.

And they're like expressing it and then just putting their fingers basically in it. Yeah, but there's a certain like you're making a drink and like there's a certain playfulness you need to have to it. When you take it like when it's too artistic for me, I'm like, dude, it's alcohol. You're making poison. You are like you are. Like that's, you know, it's like, oh, wow, the artistry behind this crystal meth is incredible. There absolutely is an artistry to making drinks. I agree.

That's like saying you don't care about your food. and how that's but like the person themselves need to have the so what about food you also need to just realize like you need to have Frank wants his dinner just fucking throw it out of the plate no no no no no that's not what I am saying you know what he would like less effort no see what you're doing right now is you're fucking putting words in my mouth if you just for 10 seconds for once in your life shut your fucking mouth And listen to me, you'll hear what I'm saying.

I am saying they can have the artistry behind it, but when they don't have the wherewithal to realize, like, this is ridiculous, I'm making a drink. Why is that ridiculous? I don't even think they're doing anything outrageous. Because there's a certain ridiculous. What are they doing that's ridiculous? Shaking it?

But she's just like, you need to, like, when they take the spoon and they like swirl it like in between their fingers, like they're... I have never seen a bar. Oh, there are people that do, like, their TikTok account. that I've seen you know what I'm talking about maybe not because you exclusively drink at places that have failed their health rating I'm just saying when they get like too into it it just like I see it I was like dude you know like just be playful know what you're doing is that's being playful no but like there's a but oh no by you

something that you enjoy all only you yes what I enjoy is crafted by me not you Step outside of yourself, buddy. Step outside of yourself right now. I think the word that I'm looking for, it's like it's such a fine line between like being whimsical and being like a bit of a dork. This is personally. Bad take. Personally, it's a bad take, right?

I personally feel like, I know that there are people, there's a sect of people that feel like bartenders are going over the top. Because yes, when people are like, can I get a drink and they start throwing the bottle with the elbow and catching it and doing this. Yes. Like, to me personally, I'm in. Yeah. This is a bonus for me. Cool. I mean, if it's a 10-minute show, let's wrap it up here. But like, if you're doing it and it's kind of like whatever, cool, I have no problem with that. I definitely don't have a problem with him shaking my drink. I see, I see the shaking and like it. And you'd like them to be like, you know what? You know what? This is ridiculous. No, no, no, no. That's not what I'm saying, but like the, the, like, the idea that

they're giving me something and they're like, you should be honored that I'm giving it to you. Like, how could you possibly feel that way? It's on their menu, you order it. They make it. I know. I know. I know. Listen, I'm aware in this moment that I might be being a little insane. But for the sake of the conversation, like, I think that there's like, there's almost like, I've been to bars where the bartenders have a certain like arrogance to them. And like it's like dude, you're just like I value and respect what you're doing. But like don't believe that because you're doing something, you're now the most like tortured soul artist in the world.

I'm so confused by this day. I've never seen a bar. Oh, forgive me that I guess I am. I am of a places are you going to? I'm not saying going now in my life have been to places like that. I have never seen. I feel like Frankie, if he came in literally tomorrow and you're asking the same question, he might be on the other side. But that's the beauty.

Zoom in tight. That's the beauty of this country and this world. Yes. We get the opportunity to one day with our current experiences have one opinion and the next day experience something that brings us elsewhere on that opinionated spectrum. And that is a beautiful place to live in. and that is a beautiful place. Now, if you want me to just be spanked by the fucking opinion gods over here, then so be it. But I like that my opinions on life could be fluid.

So yes, maybe tomorrow I come in with something different. So now that we know that you are fully spanked, we do have some sponsors for today's episode. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. So if you need to get some therapy, BetterHelp has you covered. They can get you onboarded in just under 48 hours and also help you find the right fit for you. So you can transfer from therapists to therapists to make sure you're fine and the right person that vibes with you in your situation and help you out. I've been in therapy for years now.

I think that it's very important that people do it. I think anyone can benefit from it and not just people that are maybe going through something traumatic. I think that it's just going to the gym for your mind. It's really good. I love it. So I had therapy today. But anyway, you can go check out BetterHelp. They have over 30,000 therapists.

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personalized and affordable care for hair loss, ED, weight loss, and more, visit Hymns.com slash basement. That is Hymns.com slash basement for your free online visit. Feature products include compounded drug products, which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required, individual results may vary see website for full details, restrictions, and important safety information. No, him, hers, they, them's, however you choose to identify, you know what you're going to love? The baseman yard, Patreon, baby. Patreon.com slash the basement yard is the service that we use where we give you guys a little bit of us a little sooner and a little bit extra.

It's honestly a little fun. And you can go check it out. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. Take a gander at the different tiers that we got there because that first tier, that's going to get you these weekly episodes one whole week in advance. Seven whole days ahead of people that are non-patrients. And then that second tier, well, that's where you're going to get exclusive episodes every single Friday that I will tell you transparently and candidly often get off the rails. And if you think that there's somehow that this show can get more off the rails and what it is on the weekly episode, well, boy, you have not seen any of the Patreon stuff. And guess what? If you go to patreon.com and you sign up for that second tier and you get those exclusive videos every single Friday, you're also going to get the backlog of everything that has come before it. So it's not like it's like, oh, I sign up today. I get everything from here on out. hundreds of hours of content that you're going to be able to consume with those beautiful windows of the soul, as I call them, aka your eyes.

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Because they got to pay our tech overlords. Those lizard people, allegedly. So patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you to the over 51,000 of you guys that are paid patrons. It's honestly amazing. And we want to make sure we are tailoring what we are giving you to what you like. So go check it out, patreon.com slash the basement yard. Also, there's merch options available.

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We're doing live shows again. Maybe we're coming to a city near you. Maybe the tickets are still available at a city near you. We did add some second shows in some places. You're going to want to check them out. But if you go to the basement yard.com, you'll be able to look down at that list. So go check it out. Maybe you want to make a trip out of it. I don't know. But you could find all information on the live shows at the basemanyard.com. So we got three websites. That's not a lot. We got Patreon.com satsa basement yard for the

subscription service. We got Sanagato Studios.com for some merch options. And then we got the basemanyard.com for some live show options. So go check it out. We love you. We thank you. We appreciate you. Back to Joey. I did that well. That was pretty good. You should do commercials. I always love when

the links are the name of the thing. What does that mean? What does that mean? Like, where the basement yard? The basement yard.com, boom. Yeah, because you know there's some old boomer out there that's just like, hmm, I like the basement yard. Let me go to the basement yard.com and just say, and then it's like, wow, this is streamlined and easy for me,

an old person who's an idiot. I meant for everybody, but yeah. No, yes, it works for other people that are. We still have to go for lobster rolls and a bottle of white wine. Oh, oh, fucking Stuart Spritz. Honestly, Hugo. Whatever that dumb assholes. name is. I generally don't think I've ever gotten mad at Joe. If he brings it up one more time and we don't

do it. I'm going to, I'll stop. How is this on me? I'll just start getting there. Forgive us. Oh, it's on one, it's on somebody. It's on somebody. Forgive. Our, our schedule collectively has been crazy. That's all of us as a trio. That's actually true. As an ensemble-ish. So like, so like, it's like a thing. But we, we will get there. Don't you worry, your sweet head of yours. We will. I think that we should commit to some time in the next two weeks. Monday Like Well you got

As of recording You guys are doing the cardathon So you guys got a lot going on I do So he's trying to make an excuse For you No no no no No I'm just saying like

I don't want to I don't know if you're like Looking to escape that Or if like you feel compelled To get back and win Winning already Already winning I don't know

He doesn't know Anything could happen It's true It's a lot of time Okay Well back to me Oh, we're done with you. We saw, can you pull up the gelato thing?

I could pull up. We've had this for like weeks and we never brought it up. But I'm so in the mood for gelato. Who fucking cares about gelato, dude? You don't care about gelato? I don't think I've ever had gelato, like proper. What? I've had ice cream because I'm an adult in America.

You've got a lot of hard takes. I know. Honestly, that one felt pretty charged, and I'm going to stand behind it. Okay. You've never had gelato in your life? I don't think I have. You've never had like a hazelnut gelato? Oh my God.

Can I ask a serious question? And I know I'm not the only person that wonders this. Difference. What's the difference? Between gelato and ice cream. You know, for me, it's just one of those things that I don't want to know. You don't need to know. I'm assuming it's something.

It's one of those things. Like, if I went to a super artsy bar, I'd be like, what's your favorite dessert bartender that just shook my fucking, you know, my vodka tonic for 12 minutes. What's your favorite? Gelato. That's what I expect. So are these people that have gelato just fucking better than that? I'm starting to think that you've never been outside in your life.

That's what I'm trying. I absolutely have. And I love the outside. I just told you I was in the ocean. I feel like you're picturing the guy who's the food critic in Ratatoui. And you're like, you can- Anton Ego? That's the guy who makes your cocktails for you.

And you're like, oh, my God. No, no, no, no. No, no, he's too... Anthony. I believe that's his name. Please back-check the name of that. That movie, Ratatoui being the food, is outrageous.

Not the name of the rat. How could that be... No, no, no. I meant like, that's the dish that got him. Ratatouille. If you... That movie is so beautiful. I love that movie.

It makes... I'm not kidding. I think it was like Anthony Bourdain, R-I-P, said that like, that is the... best movie about simulating the restaurant to like critic experience because like that's what they're all trying to do is like they're all trying to out bring a dish that's not elevated elevated to a point that it elicits that response from people right that movie is on my list of what i believe are

perfect movies i think that after i watched that movie i wanted to just be friends with a rat for like a little bit i'm going to ask you a serious question yeah what's the name of the rat rat you don't know the name so that's what a lot of people his name is um a lot of people think he's his first letter are a lot of people think it's oh rufus nope that's what's his name from fucking kim yeah that's a naked mulrat his name is um rodolfo good job so like what is it it's not rodolfo i'm aware that's a good guy i'm not gonna tell you what's the second letter no i'm not telling you what do you get out of that You feel good?

Do you feel good? I think it bothers you that you don't know. It doesn't. Okay. So live the rest of your life never knowing. Frank, I could look it up at any point in my life and get it. But don't. Why not?

Because if you cared that much. What game are you playing in your head? What do you get out of this? I'm shaking my cocktail back here. You're worse. His name is Remy. That's right. I did know that.

His name is Remy. Remi. Not Rolfo. Rodolfo is someone's name. I'm not sure that's anyone. any of the rat's name? No, there's a Rodolfo. I don't think, good name. I don't know if it's a rat's name, but, um, jolato uses more milk, less cream. Also, if I brought in jola, a pistachio gelato and gelato ice cream, and I put it in front of you, you'd be like, the difference is astounding.

I'm going to go one step further, pistachio flavoring is so mid. I don't think so. I think pistachio and like a croissant, love that. Cool without it. It goes, I'd like it better than like a chocolate stuffed thing. I just don't, like, pistachio. I was talking with Dylan, of all people, about this. About pistachio? Pistachio. Because he, I think he called himself pistachio aura.

And I said, like, such a mid-flavoring. Yeah. I don't think so. I like it. But if you walk into a gelato spot, if you walk into a gelato spot and you saw all these, which, like, three are you considering? You want all, okay. All right.

I'm going to go off of not just the name. of the flavor, but just the appeal of the, like that is, some of those are beautiful. Immediately, top easiest answer I've ever given in my entire life, salted caramel. Yeah. Holy shit. Anything that's salted caramel, I'm getting. And not like, I'll be cool around it. I'll be shy around salted caramel.

I'll be like, I like, I love salted caramel anything. I think it's probably one of the best flavors ever. Also, I'm looking at right below her. Brown sugar. Brown sugar is really good one. So my three, off rip, I'm going salted caramel, cherry, and New York cheese. Cherry! Dude, I don't know.

Listen, I know. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please. Cherry. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please for like, just give me a minute of your time. You've talked this entire time. Give me a minute of your time. Watch it, I'm shutting up now. I'll never talk ever again.

Oh, no. we're all hurting now what the fuck is taro what is that taro is like a berry it's like a root oh right am i wrong am i wrong like tarot tarot root tarot root what about cotton candy

with two guns I'm shooting this thing I honestly wouldn't even consider that I don't I like cotton candy cotton candy flavored things is one of those things that like I just I can't ever get behind I think there was a time my life though that I would not have passed up cotton candy. I mean, the kids are there. I can tell you that right now. There have been several times where I've gone to

the ice cream shop. They get cotton candy? And they'll get cotton candy and they just won't like it because it's just like the blue let me ask you a question. Where are you? I don't think it's up here. No. But where are you on like birthday cake flavoring and shit? It's got to be like it can't

just be like there's just sprinkles in it. It needs to have a bit of that like raw batter taste. It's got like, but there's There's the little colors. If it's just the colors, then don't call it birthday cake. Call it confetti. Right.

Like, to my understanding, like, if you're going to do like cake batter flavored things, it needs to taste like you're licking the spoon of cake batter. Oh, I love that. I do too. Bad for you. But the point I was making about cherry, I have had a, you know how I was with my ice cream. I was a briar's nasser vanilla.

Yeah. Cherry vanilla lately? Cherry vanilla. It's vanilla with like cherry infused. infuse and then like giant chunks of cherry. I love cherries, dude. No. What the fuck is unicorn? I feel like that's like a birthday cake.

Yeah, that's one of those where it's just like the colors are in there. Chunky monkey? Cookie butter might come home with me. I'm surprised Joe doesn't like chocolate therapy. Is that, oh, I don't even know what that is. I don't know what that is. I'm not a big chocolate. I'm not going to kid.

That's a great joke that you made. I like that a lot. Some people like also green tea. I'd rather be shot by a horse. I've never had green tea flavor. Like, that's one of those things. Like, I love green tea, but the flavor of green tea and ice cream, I can't imagine liking it. I think I've been in a gelato place before, and they had a one that was Earl Grey.

I'm like, what is that. I mean, it's, I know what Earl Green tea is. I've had an Earl Grey, but like, a gelato. Oh, why? Yo, also overrated cookies and cream. It's overrated. Wow. That is a cake.

It's overrated. Cookies and cream, anything is overrated. You know what? I don't feel passionately enough the other way to do anything but defend you here. So I'm with you on that one. But that's what I'm saying. Like the cookies and cream, they like to put it up there with like the vanillas or the chocolates or like these heavy hitters. Cookies and cream is not that guy.

I don't think. It's not cookies. It's not a. All right. All right. All right. All right. Give me your Mount Rushmore of cookie flavors.

Cookie. I mean, sorry. What? Of ice cream. Of ice cream. Duh. Cookie dough. Cookie dough?

No, it's not your favorite. It's about Mount Rushmore. It's about Mount Rushmore. The four that you would put as the representation. I would. I mean, so, okay, whatever. I mean, vanilla, absolutely.

I think it's... Vanilla chocolate strawberry. They're the Neapolitan. And then what, there's a fourth one. What the hell would you even put there, then? If you guys want to play these rules. Oh, my goodness. That's a great...

It's like, what would be the fourth, though? Is there a fourth? It's like the argument, like, what's the third major city? Unfortunately, you want to do this. Unfortunately, the fourth would probably be like mint chocolate chip or some shit. I will tell you three guns for that one.

I would put every gun that exists. I think the obvious, the easiest answer would just be just plain old chocolate chip. Boring. I mean, for me, my favorite ice cream flavor is cookie dough. Oh, mine right now is cherry vanilla, if not regular ass vanilla.

America's top 10. ice cream flavors. I thought it'd be bigger. Nope, it ain't. Just zoom in. Just zoom in command and scroll, babe. Yeah. So we got vanilla chocolate.

Cookies and cream, there's no possible way. It's overrated. Chocolate chip cookie dough. I guess that makes sense. Chocolate chip cookie dough. You know what's better? You know what's better than cookies and cream? Oreo.

It's different. Is it, brother? Is it different? Is it? I don't know. Is that not? It feels different. I think cookies and cream was birthed through the anus of Oreo.

That's probably fair. I just don't think it's like one of the heavy hitters. Is that mocha, moose tracks? What the fuck is that? Moose tracks is like, there's like chunks of chocolate in it or something. But isn't tracks poop? No, that's the hooves. No, no, no, no, no, no.

He means like, like, skid marks. You're talking like marks. No. Trap. Don't they say like bear tracks or something? No, that's bear scat and moose scat. I swear. Tracks was like shit. Tracks is like the

paw prints like, oh, bear around. Yeah. I don't know. Where have you heard of tracks being fecal matter? I hope. Joe might be right, actually. I have no idea. So, strawberry, yo, lokey, as I'm getting older, strawberry is good. It's making it's way up. I used to

I fully agree. Fully agree it's making its way up. Cookie dough is just a flavor? I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. It's basically just like a vanilla with cookie dough chunks without the chocolate. chip. Buttered

Pecan being number six, that is mind-blank. My guy, my guy, my guy, the South. They love their pecan as they specify it down there. Mint chocolate chip is the biggest fraud in the world. I'm not even kidding

you. Disgusting. I've had it, and I still can't imagine how people like it. I don't get it. Because there are certain things I could try and be like, I get it. There's people that like that. Mint chocolate chip is, like, they just clash. Also, like peppermint, patties, like that sort of thing where you're getting like minty chocolate.

Like, this is a very... Doesn't make sense. I'm with you. Like, I don't know. I'm just picturing a different time. Wait, so go back to the gelato thing. So my top three, I went New York cheesecake. Oh, did you?

I went New York cheesecake, cherry, and salted caramel. Give me your top three. I see you said brown sugar. What are the other two on there? Well, I said salted caramel for sure. Because anything caramel, I usually... Oh, man, see? I don't want to get all the same type of shit, though.

Because I would do like cookie butter, brown sugar and salt. the caramel, but I'm gonna switch it up. Ooh, can I? No, I'm changing the rules here. I was gonna say, can I get two? I would order two. Like you get one in one. Of different scoops? Yeah.

Like you get two scoops in one cup and you get... My guy, my guy, my guy. Just pick three flavors. Yeah, I push. You can get one of each in the same cup. It doesn't matter. That's Frankie's eighth, my guy. Yeah.

I'm gonna go salted caramel. Yes. Welcome to the club. I'm actually gonna go cookie butter. Yeah. And then I'm going to go. Maybe I'll go strachietella. Can I ask?

I was going to ask, what is that? It's just like chocolate. But why did not just call it? It's like chocolate, hardened chocolate syrup and like vanilla. Oh, okay. I think that's it. Strachatella.

I actually was on a TikTok account. Oh, I might get the hazelnut if I'm feeling like a little ho. I love how hazelnut is just almost chocolate, but there's that nuttiness to it. I kind of like that. You know what I like when shit has a little fucking chunk in there? And I'm not really expecting it. See, I like a chocolate chip.

I don't like a chocolate chunk. I feel like I need some rules and order to this. I can't have big chunks. Give me uniform. Uniform chips. Don't just like a fucking cowboy in the Wild West. Just fucking throw different size chunks in there. Yeah.

It's like that scene in casino where he has the blueberry muffin and there's like, two blueberries in it and the other guy has one and it's like 15 blueberries. Uniform the chips. Yeah. Okay? I mean, I like a chunk if I'm expecting a chunk. But if I'm not expecting a chunk, what are we doing here? What is this?

I don't know if I could go out and speak for you. Outside of the flavors that we don't understand, like taro. Yeah, I don't know what that is. I think I can imagine that you hate the following flavors. Okay. I could see you hating lemon. Yeah. I don't like lemon flavored pastries.

I think you're in the same boat. Like I go back and forth with it, but this would be too much for me. I can imagine you hate mint brownie because not only have they disrespected mint and chocolate, but then they put it in brownie form, which I think you're a fan of. That's a, yeah, but this is an abomination. It is. Yeah. Okay.

It's like when like fucking two hillbilly cousins have a kid and it's like, like, what is this? You know? I forgot this was a Patreon. Well, not a Patreon. Not at all, actually. I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. Also, we could do without raspberry, right?

I like it. I like raspberries. I think raspberry shit is actually really good. I would throw green tea on the ground. Oh, okay, okay. Unicorn I'm throwing on the ground. Also, blueberry. Like, not, doesn't deserve its own flavor.

It looks too chunky. It doesn't deserve its own flavor. Like, she looks too chunky. You have not earned a leading role yet, blueberry. Although they are the leaders in pies. Mm-hmm. A blueberry pie. It's a fantastic pie.

I've gone on record. I'll continue to be on this record. I don't like any pie because cooked fruit is disgusting to me. Honestly, you got to come back around on that. They have the best muffins. Have you ever had a cobbler? Oh, no. Fucking cobblers.

I just don't like, I just watch some dude on TikTok make a peach cobbler and like it looked fun for him but I'm not in it's good can you do me a favor yes sir get like 12 pies one day and let's do a pie tasting I did this years ago pie versus cake and I hated all the pies I had a cherry pie I would have rather eat your ass after a workout wow wow but also disrespectful to my ass because I know how much you hate cherries Yeah. Well, I don't like hate cherries. Like, cherries are fine. I just, Gary Me.

I don't like cherries. No, it's not the cherry. It's the cherry pie. It was too much cherry. Didn't like it. Hit up your people from the bakery. Yeah, get the bakery. And have them make a cherry, a blueberry, an apple, a peach cobbler. Use the crumperty credit card on it. on this, okay? The crumpany. And also, we're going to need a lot of vanilla ice cream on top

of these. Oh my God. Oh, my God. A bakery that's called the crumpany. Yeah, unfortunately, it's going to need more than that. It's not just a name. Billion dollars. Hold on. While you think about that, let's get to the rest of these sponsors. I just remember that is a thing. Listen, we have here DoorDash. Okay. DoorDash. You guys know DoorDash. You can go onto their platform and you can order pretty much, you know, anything you need to your apartment, whether it be, you know, food or something from a convenience store or anything like that. But also, I think a way that people don't think about DoorDash is in the way that you can, like, connect and help with other people as well. You know, we actually, me and Frank a while ago did this thing with DoorDash, where for Mother's Day, we sent our mom's flowers with DoorDash.

So you can connect with people in that sort of way as well. If it's Mother's Day or whatever it is, you can send flowers to people via DoorDash. And, you know, just for your friends. You want to make your friend feel happy or you're thinking about them? Send them a little DoorDash. You know, they like ice cream, boom. They want some gelato. We're talking about gelato.

Send your friend a gelato. She's studying for her fucking quiz or your friend is, you know, going through something. Send them a little something. Maybe their favorite snack or something like that. It's a nice way to connect via DoorDash, okay? Don't just buy everything for yourself, even though you could use it in that way as well. You want to make yourself happy as well, but you can use DoorDash or something. DoorDash to connect with the people that you love, sending them flowers or sending them their favorite treat or whatever the case is.

You can help them out. I've also used DoorDash in the past. You know, Nicole wasn't feeling well before we were living together, and I sent a little care package with some like, which is just a couple of things. You know what I mean? So it's like that. But go check out DoorDash. Go give it a check. And yeah, don't be afraid to connect.

You know, DoorDash makes showing up for the people you love easy. All right. delivered door dash order now um and lastly here we have little spoon okay little spoon supports babies from the very first feed it starts with organic infant formula for those first bottles then moves into baby cereal and baby blends uh when solids begin first bites first spoons all of it and uh yeah they have pretty much everything it's everything is designed for the stage that babies are in it's made with simple ingredients and it's tested for 500 contaminants including heavy metals so that you know that your babies and toddlers are not eating those contaminants

and including like heavy metals like I said. But they have a bunch of stuff. They have beyond smoothies and yoga snap pouches. I know Frank's big on the little spoon. Oh, our kids went through those smoothies quick. They're very good. I taste it a little myself. How are you doing? Also, it feels good to give them something that I don't have to worry about where it's coming from. Exactly. They have over 100 plus ingredients banned across the board. I don't, you don't have to overthink any of the labels or anything like that. So it's good. And feeding the kids doesn't have to be complicated.

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Little Spoon.com slash basement with that code basement and enjoy that 30% off. And I don't. So, a bakery. Crumpany. Called the crumpany. And the slogan is it's about the crumpany you keep.

Yeah. And it's just a good business that will work because it's just off of name and concept alone. Cool. We can't we get some pies. We'll do it on Patreon. We'll have a pie eating. They might not because they're an Italian bakery. You might need it. No, we're just to just go to a store.

Brother, brother, brother, no, no, don't go. No, no, we're going to a bakery. I know where you go, honestly. Martha's. Martha's Bakery. In Astoria, Queens. There's one in Brooklyn, too. Just don't, no, go to Astoria Queen, say hi.

Yeah, no, I get, I go there. I'll give you my old address. You can wave to my old house. Sure. Company credit card for that one. Martha's Bakery? Yeah, she goes up there. She goes up there. How many?

What are, so there's, there's, there's, Pietreon. A pie trion. Oh, that's a great one. Or Patriot pie. We'll go with the first one. So we have blueberry pie. Blueberry pie.

I'll retry the cherry pie, but. Cherry pie. Types. This is a great point. We need an apple pie. Cream pies. None that we need to try. Oh yeah, let's get a cream pie in here.

Who doesn't like that? The ants seem very excited for that one. Everybody like, well, everybody loves a cream pie. So we have fruit pies. I've never had a banana cream pie. I might be into that. I might be into the cream pie.

I'll be honest with you. Yeah. Yo, honestly, cream pies may be the ultimate pies. Cream pies? I kiss this to many. It's not fair. Coconut cream pie.

I don't, hold on. What's better than a cream pie, a little bit of coconut in it? Or a little banana in your cream pie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, all jokes aside, banana cream pie, fuck me up. Custard pie? Blasting that.

Yeah. Yo, by the way, I will say, I had a pumpkin pie once, and I fingered it, it's an unbelievable feeling on your hands. It's not fair. I wish we could end the episode there. Or cut to more ads. Can you just make up more ads? I guarantee you, you get a fucking pumpkin pie in here, which I guess is considered a cream pie, and you put your finger in it. You tell me that you don't want to blast the thing to hell.

You tell me. You know what? A legitimate thing that we can and will do on Patreon. I do like custards, so like, I guess that makes sense. And I do like, I know I'm going to sound like such a boomer here. but I do like Cool Whip So like if that were the cream And the cream

How is that boomer? That's such a boomer thing I love Cool Whip Cool Whip Yeah I can see myself enjoying that Like I do like custard Like one time we made

This You've never been to Stamattis But like they have a dessert called Oh you've been to Kikladas right You know yeah They have a It's like what they give you for free at the end It's called like Galact de Buriko

It's kind of like a custard pie Under Filo dough A garlic booty hole. Yeah, I love a garlic booty hole. But I can't get behind a cream pie just because... Nah, come on. Dude, bro, don't get behind a cream pie. Get in the green pie.

Be the cream pie. Be the cream pie. Don't just... Don't get behind the cream pie. Get into the cream pie. Yeah, you've got to get in the cream pie, dude. So we're establishing here, Joey wants to be cream pie for Patreon. If there's ever a reason to go on Patreon and sign up,

It's because you will see Joey get cream pie. You will. I mean, you have to, too. You have to get it, too. I'm not saying I'm contributing to that. You're getting a banana cream pie and you're going to fucking like it. Oh, see how he put the banana in there because he's afraid that people aren't going to, why they're going to get. It's a type of cream pie.

You can't just get a cream pie. It's just cream pie. I mean, I've watched old-timey movies from like the 90s. Like a cream pie just looks like it's cool whip in a fucking, what's it called? a fucking dish, pastry. Yeah, like that's what... Yeah, yes, that's what I was looking for. Graham cracker crust.

You don't think that... Why did you have like a parrot? I cram crack, crack, crack. You don't think that an apple pie, like, aesthetically, you're like, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Aesthetically, even... I've never seen a pie and been like, that looks ugly. Like, it all, like, the artistry behind the pie.

I wish those goddamn bartenders put effort into pies the way they do their fucking vodka tonic. Yeah. You know? I'm really into pot. Like blueberry pie looks good looking. It just... Blueberry pie is fantastic.

I just don't like cooked fruit. It's a texture thing for me. Like slimy fruit is not... I just can't... I think there's less of that in a blueberry pie. But I've had like... This is going to be the worst version of it. I know.

But follow me here. I've had like the McDonald's baked apple pies. Uh-huh. It's the cooked, it's the texture of a slimy apple. You like oysters. Yeah, but that's like I'm, I like oysters because I know that that's what they are. I like apples because they're crunchy and crisp. I don't know what this apple is.

No, no, no, but like, I, I know apples to be crunchy and crisp and airy and soft. Just change your mind. Just change your mind. If only it were that easy, Joey. If only, you know what? Oh, I'm sorry. You're not, you're not, you're feeling. did the blues, hey, just don't be sad.

How about that? Totally different. I can't just change my mind on what I think about apples. So because the first time you ate an apple, it was crunchy. You're like, I just couldn't possibly imagine this apple in any sort of form. Not the first time. How about the first 33 years of my life? I had it and I was like apples, they'd be crisp, they be crunchy, they be tart.

Yeah, it's just another way of doing it. And also, you had a little fulking ice cream on it. Also, I've said this before. Harry Potter ruined me. Like, like the scene of... What? Harry Potter did what to your womb?

Cream pie does. Yeah. The scene of Ron coughing up the slugs when he gets hit with his spell back in him when he has the broken wand, that's what I imagine having an apple or peach pie is like the... But you don't feel the way about... literal oysters. No, because I know oysters to be what oysters are.

Yes. But they are like that. No, not to me. They're not slimy? Oysters, yeah, but I was introduced to them as slimy, and I will live like... But you're saying it's a texture thing and you don't mind the slime. Because I got into it knowing it's the slime. I did not get into apples knowing that these could also be slimy.

They're not really slimy. Bro, look up a picture. are someone dumping out apple pie filling. It looks like ooze. We're going to turn this guy into a... What's that? Inside out. I didn't say that. You can't... Did you say inside out?

We're going to turn this guy inside out. After Joe's saying he's getting cream pie on Patreon. We're going to get some cream pies in here and turn this guy inside out. Oh, by the way, you demonetize the video by doing that. Not me. No, you can say cream pie. It's a food. We sang in the beginning. Neil's not dumb. He knows.

Neil's not watching. He's like, I know what they're saying. I'm into the cream pies, I think. Good for you, man. Good for you. I've never had a banana cream, but that sounds really good. It sounds not awful. Is that you?

You don't like banana shit? I like bananas. I don't like banana flavoring. Me too. I think it's literally might be the worst flavoring. And sometimes peach. Nothing worse than green apple flavoring. Oh, that's fine.

That's a crazy taste. Nothing worse. I don't even know what I guess like licorice is nasty That's a good one Yeah but that's like You don't even count those Yeah who likes that

My mom Alright we could count my mom might like it too I guess we'll count my mom used to like Didn't your mom like good and plenty? Yes Oh what a disgusting candy Yeah And she's not even candy

She's earned the title That makes her a disgusting person What Also like they look like they look like pills Yeah what it's They don't look like They look like pills. It looks like diamond tap.

It looks like, oh, like this is a Tylenol. Is there even sugar in this? Like, can we call it candy? But here's the thing is I don't, like, not only are they not good. I don't want any to just find them as plenty. Yeah, one is enough. So what of the worst named things? Because they're not good and I don't want a plenty of them.

It does look just like pills. It is. It does, dude. How are they still in production? Who's buying? Do me a favor. Google, who the hell still has good in plenties? What does that mean exactly?

Nothing's going to come up. Something will come up. It's just going to come up. People. Or a store. People like licorice. Google? This is an order.

Okay. Who the hell still has good in plenties? And? Let's say. Hershey. Hershey. Hershey. Yeah, I get it.

Of course. I was looking. more for like a what kind of monster what did you it's not a magic book it's not like just yeah shut up yes it is yeah it is kind of magic it is kind of magic it is kind of magic it is absolutely yeah you just like anything you want to know most things you just type it in it is like how did the chaco taco taco die before good in plenny's i think they're back how did chaco tacos whoever was not on board with that you're a bitch those things are what how did how the hell did give me a candy that is gone forever how the hell did i can't even think of one there might not be one

yes there definitely is like discontinued candies are do you like taffy like saltwater taffy yes what's not taffy the of the laughy variety oh no i'm thinking of like taffy yeah i do i like how they package that i like how they package it because it feels rustic but it's just mass produced like everything else. But like the paper that it's in, it's like, what is that? Wax paper, I know. It just, it feels like, uh, like it's like deli paper. Yeah, it feels, it, that's what I mean, my rest of my handmaid. You would put like, baloney on this. You know what I mean? It feels handmade. Like, I feel like I'm helping a real person by getting this. I love going into a shop also and they have like a wall of flavors of shit. And I'm like, let's go. Dude, the next time, I need taffy in my life.

I'm just, just for me. I mean, I mean, me, Had taffy. Didn't fucking, aren't Hercules candy? Like, didn't they send us stuff because they were fans? That is true. Hercules! We need you again. I am afraid of things in the mail that are food, though.

That is fair. Honestly, yeah, I won't accept food from... I won't. I'm freaked out by it. Does anyone get put down like that anymore? Brother, it's... I ain't going to be the first, though. I'm not going to be the...

Yeah, I'm going to buy out. There's a place in Asbury Park that's like an old-time candy shop. And, like, it's like... Do the dudes wear little hats? Great question. Is there a bar? Yeah. Nice.

You walk in and it's like a circular bar. Then behind that there's another bar and they're like, what do you want? And they just have like soda and milkshakes. You know, I don't know if they got that. So let me back up and manage your expectation. Oh, you meant like a fit, like an actual bar with alcohol. No. Oh, let's go to that place in Manhattan that like makes like the old timey Coca-Cola.

No, I'm talking about a bar that you sit at. It looks like a bar, but you order like a milk. milkshakes and shit. Oh, they have one by me. A milkshake bar? Yep. That's fire. Dude, old time stuff like that is coming back.

It's only a matter of time. It could be called the crumpony. What about, wait, so the place that you... Dude, that sounds so fire to be like, imagine like after work instead of going to the bar. You go to the bar and you get a milk chain. It has... I haven't been there a while.

I hope it still has it, but it has, like, you know, the booth, the single booth, single stool with, like the cushion. Yeah. And you go up and down and like it's... Like the Jackson... It looks like Jackson Hole, but it has candy. Yeah, but it's a...

of candy you could get from and all that stuff. I think that's so cool. I only wanted if the guy has a shirt with stripes. Like the stripes, the red, white, yeah. And his name's like Elgin, Stewart or Elgin. Yeah, his name's Hustis. Yeah, yeah. He has to sing. He's, his name is Eugene. I'm not accepting candy from a place like that unless the person sings it. He's got to be a lanky white fuck. What a stupid haircut. Did you see that Netflix is coming out with like a contest? It's like a Willy Wonka contest. They like built the candy factory. It's a show. Where it's like a real place?

Look at, yeah, look it up. I think it's called like the Wonka contest or something like that. And you can like eat the walls? I haven't watched it because it hasn't come out yet. I am going to say there's Gene Welder's AI voice, which I'm not pumped about. But like, yeah, Wonka's the golden ticket. Wait, so people build like Wonka factory. I think, I mean, it will have to wait and see.

I saw just the trailer because the trailer. came out. That is so fire, dude. I would definitely go ahead. But like they had like the everlasting gobstopper under the glass and shit like that. That's sick. Here's the, don't show this, Josh, because we don't want Netflix to fucking punch us in the face. Honestly, it looks cool. Wait until you see

the inside. No, no, no, no. They got the chocolate river. Dude. Also, there's something about a chocolate bar that I'm just really horny by. I'm right there, brother. You know, like unraveling a chocolate bar, especially if you could do it neatly. And then you get to the foil, which is the underwear, obviously.

And then you take the underwear off and you're like, here you are. And I love when chocolate is kind of engraved on top. And also I love when it's kind of got like, here's where the pieces break up. Yes, yes, yes. It's like it's like perforated. Like it's like you're going to break it right here and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You break it. It's like a clean break.

And I'm like, this is like a sexual experience. It also as a father like with young kids, like it helps with like portioning out for the kids. Yeah. Because we've had like one year for Father's Day, the kids got me like a smores kit. And it comes with like thing, like the Hershey bars in it. It's so easy to be like half for you, half for you. Did you know it's also a production thing to stop the bars from cracking and crumbling? It helps.

Genius. I mean, win-win. Genius. Chocolate bars? In my old age, coming back. I'm into chocolate bars. I haven't had a bar. You know what I haven't had a while?

Like a Snickers. like a, my, yeah, uh, like the, like the, fun, like the fucking cigar bar, like, like, like a, like a Milky Way or a Twix, I haven't had one until long. Go out. Live a little. All right. I just meant like, I just, it's been a while. I'm not avoiding them. I'm just saying if Netflix hears this, if they do a season two of that Netflix, uh, Blanca show. And if you guys need someone to show up and just eat, could do that. Be honest with me for one fucking second. Are you doing the, a gun, Like, everyone talked about him. I would do the Augustus Gloop with the river of chocolate. He wouldn't do it.

I would not do that. I would do a front flip into that fucking bitch. That's right. And fucking get in there. And also, shoot me up the tube. I don't care if I die in this thing. You want to, when I die, bury me inside a chocolate river? Yeah, shoot me up the fucking, whatever the fuck happens.

Or I'll be like the other one. What's her name? Virginia? Who gets all blue? No, Violet. Violet. You're turning pilot, violet? Yeah, exactly.

That one. That one kind of sucks. You'd be Mike TV. Yeah, I do love chewing gum though I have to admit he's kind of right He's when he's right I give him his flowers Oh actually no you'd be the other one

Don't do this Don't do that I forget her name Oh she's the worst Which one The girl who's like I want my daddy pot to me 10 golden bars

What's her name Fucking I forget Veronica That can't be right Virusa Verusa bulk Verusa Salt.

Oh. Arthur Slugworth is such a good name. Such a good name and looks like a fucking slug too. Yeah, he does. Always reminded me of fucking what's his name from Who Frame Roger Rabbit. Isn't that him? No.

That's not Slugworth? He's in that movie, I think. No, he is not. That's Christopher Lloyd. That is Christopher Lloyd. That's Christopher Lloyd. Dude, when's the last time you watched Who Frame Roger Rabbit? The first time I watched it.

It is an incredible movie Watch it with your current adult eyes Terrifying, dude It's scary Well that guy When his eyes and he's like And he talks like this I was terrified of that scene

Dude pull up Judge Doom Is that his name? Yeah First of all, name is Judge Doom What are you doing? Such a good movie Such a good movie Dude

Like worth watching it again I actually am going to be getting it soon Yeah see that scene it's scared the living daylights out of me. I'll be getting it soon on VHS. Dude, that's terrifying. Yeah. I didn't like that at all. I was scared for way less. I missed when kids movies tried to scare kids. Now they're just not, you know what I mean? Like this was a kids movie. And it's like, let's just put something absolutely fucking terrifying in here. Yeah, let's let's put on, instead of blippy just being all nice, let him like cut someone's head off. Well, no, no, no, no. That doesn't make it.

Just put something in there that is just so out of left field. It's going to scare the shit out of people. Like, what was the girl in fucking, oh, man, the woman in... The Exorcist. No, that's not a kid's movie. And Peewee's Big Adventure. Remember the fucking, what was the bus driver or something like that? I don't know.

I trust you. Big Bertha, I think was her name? Big Bertha. Pewee's Big Adventure, Big Bertha. No. Or just put scary woman. Okay. I've never seen Peewee's Big Adventure.

adventure. It's like one of those cult classics. That's like, what the fuck? Yeah, dude. Oh, yeah, that'll do it. Oh, yeah, this lady. I actually remember this. Does it turn into this in the movie? Yes. Oh, geez. Yeah, it'll get you. Oh. I just, I love when kids' movies used to be like, you know what? Something completely out of pocket that's who just scare the shit at. Large March. That's what I meant. Large March. Big Berth are close enough. It's very beetle juicy.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I believe this was made by Tim Burton, so. Oh, then, yeah. I mean, that looks like a Tim Burton thing, but. Watch, scare your kids, Frankie. Terrify your kids. Terrify your kids, Frankie.

They deserve it. But like, it was better, like, like, are you afraid of the dark? Was good because it was kind of all so scary.

Do we know that there's not scary stuff for that age range right now? I mean, you have like, sure there is, but, you know,

you're not getting Monster Houses anymore. So I guess. You know Monster House? You're not getting that stuff no more. What's Monster House? It was a movie from like

2006. It was like an animated like scary movie for kids but it was like it also had some adult jokes in there 2006 I think so they might also have been Tim Burton Monster House I don't think I was Tim Burton

It's Tim Burton ask Look up who directed Monster House right now 2006 I'm on point He really is Is it Timmy B Steve Buscemi Oh that just says that he's the voice actor This is just for us by the way

It is just for us Gil Canaan Who is Gil Canaan Exactly No offense, Gil. Oh, he did Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. Did he? Yeah.

Wow. And the... Oh, well, good. Cool. Cool. I mean, I wasn't a big fan of Frozen Empire. I thought it was aggressively okay. Wow.

I didn't see it. Mitchell Muso! From fucking Hanna Montana? I've never seen an episode of Hanna Montana. What? Come on. Swear to God. You get the Linder Man.

I knew the songs. I remember Josh was like obsessed with the songs. Oh. Josh, just put on screen, were you? He was. He put the word, yes. He's like talking. I mean, Hanna Montana was fucking, it was, it came out when we were like 14 or 15 around that same time, but like, yeah.

It was fun. I watched it. I didn't dislike it. I was into the climb. The song was a banger. That was, I don't think that was from... It's not. No, it was from something else.

It's just from her, I think. Yeah, it's just from her. It's from her. Like wrecking balls, not from Hanna, Montana, you know? No, no, no, no, but wait, he might be, he might be right. The climb might be right. from the Hannah Montana movie. Possibly. I have no idea.

But also, when I look at you, that song is crazy. That's from a different movie, but it's a great song. She's not done a Super Bowl. I think she has the catalog to pull it off. Oh, it is. Look at that. Hannah Montana movie. Look at that.

I'm pretty impressed. Where was I recently? It's the club. Oh, I was at like a early 2000s themed birthday party, and this was on the TV, the Hannah Montana movie. Whose party was that and why the fuck wasn't I there? It was in Canada. It was one of Cole's friends.

Fuck! That sounds like my party, dude. It sounds like a sick party. It was on the TV. I was invited. I just couldn't go. We get to live in the front. Ooh. Every time that means you let me color.

What song is that? The theme song from Hannah Montana. This is Disney now. Oh yeah, they're gonna fuck us up. Disney now. Might get cream-pide. Yeah, I'm just saying you get the best of both worlds. You get a

I know that's all Did it not take it slow Then you rock out this show He does the choreo Also Emily Osment Who is the sister of Haley Joel There you go

Billy Ray Silas Like your heart Yeah Cyrus I think Billy Ray Cyrus Did I not say that? Silas Oh my bad

Neither here nor there Well There you have it folks That is our episode for today Thank you so much For stopping by And hanging out with your boys Frank, where can they find you?

The Frank Alvers all over. Patreon.com slash the Basemaniarist Sandingada Studios.com for the new merch. Thebasemniar.com for information on live shows. Yep. And Aunt Priscoe on Instagram. And you guys will go follow me at Joe Santagado. Go follow the show at the Baseman on a TikTok and Instagram and go hit up Santa God Studios for the merch.

And that is all. See you guys next time.