The Basement Yard - #567 - Making Out In Public

Episode Date: August 10, 2026

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard. Frank. Hey, hi. I'm a little tired, and I was thinking about if I should have some caffeine, but it's late in the day, and I don't want to mess up my sleep. It's 4 o'clock. It's before 4. Brother, if I have one of those, I'll be fucking doing backflips until...
Starting point is 00:00:25 Really? Yeah. Well, he's, like, about to be 34, so... Wow. Careful. What time are you go to bed? Um, like 10, 25, 10. 15? That's a normal time.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Really? You think I can do it? I mean, it's too late now. You can't do it. Why not? Why not? I'll crack it open now and I'll see what happened. No, you shouldn't. Shotgun hit. Way to go. I'm obviously 34 and you're obviously 19. Right. You know? And I obviously almost got pissed on this morning
Starting point is 00:00:55 by an animal in my elevator, which is not where you're supposed to get pissed on by animals. Not that you're supposed to. Well, hold on. Back up, back up, back up. First of all, why is it obvious that you almost got pissed on? It's not obvious. I was just fitting it into the joke. I was fitting it into the conversation.
Starting point is 00:01:10 You're just trying to fit in your pissing fetish? Yeah. Not that I have a fetish. I don't know where you got that. But I got into the elevator this morning with Charlie and there was another dog in there. And the dog was like sniffing my legs, which is like typical because I have a dog. So dogs, when they see me, they sniff me pretty good. You have the legs of a like a pissable leg, which is kind of nice.
Starting point is 00:01:30 It's not what I'm saying. Oh, like they normally piss on. trees and trees like those are like those are good looking trunks. No, but dogs smell my legs. What I'm saying is dogs smell my legs because I have a dog and they're like, oh, there's a dog here or whatever. And then this dog like started turning because once they start turning and giving you the butt, they either want you to scratch or they're about to lift that thing and let it go. If it's a boy dog, girl dogs, they get down right there and sit down.
Starting point is 00:01:55 They get down and they, I don't know what it is. I've been around a dog that had a foot fetish once. Whose dog was that? And it would just sit on your foot and like rub it. Oh, it's screwed. your foot? Yeah, and I... Whose dog was that?
Starting point is 00:02:06 Dude, this thing was fully using your foot to get off? Who was that? Different dog. Honestly, you're kind of like... I kind of vaguely remember what you're talking about, too. Yeah, now that you're saying it. Now I'm thinking about this dog that was like humped my foot back in the day. But anyway, and then this dog went to go pee a little bit.
Starting point is 00:02:21 And I had to move out of the way real quick and it peed in the elevator. Be honest about something really quick. If a dog starts to hump you, you kind of pumped? No part of... Why would I... Just like a... Because they're doing it out of... respect like they're doing it as like I'm trying to be more of them of a fucking male than you more of a man than you are so I'm gonna hump you and show you but I'm thinking you're sitting there and you're just like yo like you think I'm that powerful that you want to hump me Frank I don't think that's what's going on what isn't I don't think dogs are humping because of a respect thing I think it's like a domination thing yeah exactly yeah but they don't yeah like they feel so like they feel like they can dominate they have to dominate you because they have to because you're the
Starting point is 00:03:03 powerful being. That's not what's going on. I need to go and hump this thing. But what happens when they hump female dogs? It's a powerful power thing. They're like, oh, I'm so intimidated by this woman that I have to have sex with her? Well, no, they have to like, they have to overcome the circumstances and, like, they have to show and assert their dominance. So if a male dog is asserting its dominance over you, you're like, that means it thinks that, like, I can dominate you. No, but then, or it means that, like, I better get on top of this guy first. Not that any, dogs are humping me like that. Well, this is why,
Starting point is 00:03:35 this is, I don't really follow the line of thinking. Really? I'm starting to be confused about what you think respect is. Yeah, like, how do you show respect to people? You think that dogs, if a dog humped you, you take that as a compliment because you think this dog is thinking, oh, this guy's
Starting point is 00:03:53 an alpha male, I better fuck him. Is that what your line of thinking is? Yeah. I'm more so thinking of it as like, I can dominate that I'm going to dominate. I think it's, just like I have to prove my worth here so I need to you know how they say like to the world you know how they say like you know when you go to prison find the biggest tallest
Starting point is 00:04:14 guy and hit them first I don't think dogs are doing that I think it's a thing in the animal kingdom that like they have to like if there is a rival male they need to immediately assert their dominance can you look that up I don't I don't know if that's true why do dogs why do male dogs hump other male dogs but we know this is Isn't true. Oh, okay. I mean, we, we don't know. Why are you saying that?
Starting point is 00:04:37 Like, it's common knowledge. It's not my line of thinking. I don't know if it's true or not, but I assumed it wasn't, but I haven't read it in a book. What answer are we looking for before I hit search? I guess we're going to find out what we see here. Excitement, rough play, or stress. It's not sexual tension. It's not sexual.
Starting point is 00:04:58 So. Can be stress or anxiety. Social status. Dogs may mount another male to show power. So that's what I mean. They're dominating you to show you that they're the powerful one. They're actually trying to disrespect you as well. Yeah, they're like, you're not the powerful one. I'm the one. Yeah, but then I kick them off and I'm like, you're not humping me.
Starting point is 00:05:13 Like I am more powerful than you dog. Now you're in a fight with a dog. I'm not in a fight with a dog. I would never do that. But like the fact that they feel like, but the point I'm making is like the fact that they feel like they have to try to dominate you shows like, yo, they know that dominating me puts them at a higher status and respect level. It's a better point, but I don't think that's what that means. I also do not think that's what that is. I think it's like they want to be like,
Starting point is 00:05:37 I'm the baddest one here. I'm going to hump everyone. You know what I mean? Yeah. And they're just like, oh, well, here's Joey.
Starting point is 00:05:43 He's clearly the other alpha male heel. Here, let me dominate. Let me hump him. So everyone else goes, whoa, he fucking humped Joey, dude.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Yeah, I don't. I think, I know that Google just gave us an answer, but it's, who knows what fucking Google is pulling from. They're idiots. Probably all the information.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Yeah, there's sometimes idiots. You know, and that was, I saw that was a, a AI answer, so it's probably fucking nonsense. So, I think that's not that word. Well, I think the point was what you were looking like, oh, it's a sign of respect.
Starting point is 00:06:10 I think that's the answer you are looking for. I think we all, you know, like what movie was it where they're like kiss the ring? Like there's, there's like weird signs of respect. I wonder if there's like a sense of if a dog is trying to hump you, it's like, it knows that you're the power. But don't you think like in high school, right, like the bully, bullies kids, do you think that they're bullying the kids that they're like, I'm bullying this kid because he's the other alpha male or are they just bullying them because they know they can.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Different. Now we're trying to equate human interaction with dog interaction. We've been doing that the whole time. I think that human bullies are different from dog bullying. I think that dog bullying is more of an animalistic thing where there's different social structures and understandings with humans. You know what? You can have it.
Starting point is 00:06:54 If you are getting humped by a dog and you're going, thanks. It's completely on you. It's like a sign of respect. Like, you know, like, getting humped by a dog is a sign of respect. Honestly, where I thought you were going to go with that was like, you feel like, oh, they'd hump me. Flattered. And you're like, oh, I must have, like, really nice legs today.
Starting point is 00:07:13 They're doing it. I mean, if a, I think that the pissing is where it comes into, like, oh, I must have, like, really pissable legs. I think, like, that's pretty cool because dogs love to piss every, all over everything. I mean, they like to piss on, like, fire hydrants. I don't want legs like that. I have a genuine question. But because the dog tried to piss on your leg, does that mean that it was
Starting point is 00:07:32 trying to like one up Charlie technically? I think so. Okay. Like dogs are always doing that, bro. My dog, if, like, I have him off leash and a dog pees, he'll walk over immediately piss on the same spot. And I'm like, yo, this is probably, this is like gang shit. I'm, like, impressed by, like, how much pee they can just pee on command.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Like, I can't pee all the time. My dog pees, the first time he pees is like, a ton. Really? The second time is also, like, a normal pee for me. Is he hydrated? Is that work for dogs too? His pee is always yellow, though? It's always yellow, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:01 And then sometimes he'll like, if the, you know, he's like peeing a bunch at a certain point. He just lifts his leg, nothing happens. And I'm like, what are you getting out of that? I think that all it takes is like a little, a little squirt to get the idea of cross. But there's no squirt. I've not seen anything. But piss also stinks. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Wonder what happens if you feed, do me a favor. Go home. First of all, make sure this is safe. I'm sure it is. Feed asparagus to Charlie. Tell me what happens. This is piss stink. Or do dogs not have that same thing.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Even if I did that, what do you get? I get nothing. Because you know that it makes your piss sting. Yeah. And you just want to know if dogs... I just wonder if it's a universal experience if the consumption of asparagus is for a stinky piss. I'm unsure if they can eat asparagus.
Starting point is 00:08:48 So did... Wait, so is this also confirming that Charlie is pissed on your leg? Why would that confirm that? If this other dog was pissing on your leg, going to piss on your leg, then that means that he had to outpiss Charlie. So has Charlie pissed him? I think that maybe he just smelled Charlie on me
Starting point is 00:09:02 and it was kind of like, I'm going to pee on this dog's smell. I think that's why dogs pee on pee. Yeah, I think it's just like they're going to know that I was here. Like, they're going to know that I walked by. Yeah. Apparently someone explained it once. I saw this, like, video and they said that dog smelling pee is like their newspaper.
Starting point is 00:09:22 It's like they get all their information from the pee. So they're smelling pee and they're like getting all information. So I stopped dragging him away from, smelling pee as much. Because sometimes it's like, all right, you're here all day. You let him experience, like, just like, yeah, he's getting his fix. Sometimes he's, he's in the same puddle of piss. Like, for a while, I'm like, okay, let's find out what Sprinkles is up to today.
Starting point is 00:09:45 It's kind of funny to think that Charlie has to go up to that piss. Be like, the Knicks won, you know? It's like, the Knicks one. It's like, wow, good for the stock market. Took a dive today. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, basically, it's like that for them. but the dog almost tried to pee on me and I was like,
Starting point is 00:10:01 oh, and I moved that out of the way because I have the reflexes of a cat. And did it piss in the elevator? Yeah, a little bit. Oh, really? Yeah, I mean, it gave a little pee and I was like, bro. What is like the proper, like, let's say you're in an elevator, let's say like you were the dog owner and Charlie pissed on
Starting point is 00:10:17 someone else's legs. Oh my gosh. What is like how do you extend an olive branch to them? Like, what do you do? I would ask. I'd be like, I'm so sorry, like, how can I make this? Because what do you do? What am I going to do? clean, like, how do I'm going to, like, dab her jeans or something? You know what I mean? Like, what am I going to do? I can't really, my dog peed on you.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Would you go as far? It should be like, I'll replace your shoes or something like that. If they, it would depend how upset they were getting, and then I would probably eventually get there. But I, my dog has peed on another dog before. That's just, that's the, that's kind of part for the course with having a dog, I imagine. That's a wild thing to imagine. Really? That your dog is out in the world just getting pissed on and that's normal? I mean, I think that it's just kind of baked into like the risk of having a dog.
Starting point is 00:11:03 It getting peed on? To some degree. Yeah. It's like you're going to get pissed on or thrown up on. No, no, no. If you have a baby. So like it's just baked into like sometimes you're going to get your dogs, you get a little piss on it. Like on its back and head.
Starting point is 00:11:20 Like buy another dog. Is that what you were saying? Oh, I thought you were meaning like pause or something like that. Like peeing on its own paws? No, like another dog like coming by. and pissing on like it's paw charlie's paw i would not say that's par for the course that's never happened to my dog oh i would i would just make the assumption but there was that my dog lifted his leg and was peeing and like i think he was peeing and a dog came over and was like sniffing and
Starting point is 00:11:44 just got you know too crazy and hit the stream and i felt bad and that was like oh my god i'm so sorry and she's like it's okay like immediately the woman was like it's all right like it's his fault it's all right it's par for the course would have a dog well i don't know that she said that All right, let's do this. We haven't done it in a while. You be you. Right. You have Charlie we're in an elevator.
Starting point is 00:12:03 And Charlie pisses on my leg. Okay. Okay. Can you call action, please? I can. Action. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.
Starting point is 00:12:15 It's okay. It's not, it's fine. It's not a big deal. I am so sorry. Charlie. Oh my God. It's everywhere. He literally has never done that before.
Starting point is 00:12:23 I am so sorry. You give him asparagus? I did not give him. No. I'm sorry. These are new shoes. I mean... Is there something I could do?
Starting point is 00:12:31 Do you want me... Do you want me to get your new shoes? You got it on my shoes? Do you have a wipe on you or something that I could use? I don't have a wipe on me. Like a wet wipe or... I don't have a wet wipe. Can I get your information?
Starting point is 00:12:42 Do you have a Venmo or something? What floor are you going to? I'm going outside to take my dog outside. What apartment is yours? Why do you want to know that? Can I come by and you just wipe it off? I could come to you I'm not really comfortable
Starting point is 00:13:03 with you I'll just follow you definitely not comfortable with that I just I need I need to I need you to wipe this saw why don't we go down to the front and we'll ask the doorman for something I'm happy to clean your shoes
Starting point is 00:13:16 good idea all right yes okay let's go let's go right now but in the meantime can you like just like spit on it spit on what you want me to spit on your shirt shoes? Like the piss, yeah. You want me to spit...
Starting point is 00:13:32 Just like if it smells too much like piss, it's too pissy. So like just spit on it just to make it smell like anything else? To be clear, you want me to spit on your sneaker right now? Spit on the piss on my shoe. You want me to get on a knee? I can lift my leg up really high. So you're going to lift your leg up. I'm going to spit on your shoe.
Starting point is 00:13:55 And that somehow is going to be... Yeah, I can spit right here. I can see how you can get it pretty high. Can you spit? No, you're very... Just spit. You want me to spit on the bottom of it? Right here.
Starting point is 00:14:09 I'm not really comfortable doing this. All right, can you just buy me new jeans? What happened to the shoes? These are from anthropology. They're for some reason 400 bucks. The jeans? Yep. I thought he got on your shoes.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Why am I spitting on your shoe? They also got on my underwear. Can you replace these? I'll probably call cut. Probably called cut. He was fumbling with that for a while. Probably called cut. I imagine like, seriously though, like, if they were just like, they just ruined my brand new shoes, I would, I would offer to like, you know, he peed on someone's shoes.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Yeah. Also, I know that dog pee, like, it destroys stuff. Not good. It's like radioactive. Is it? He's peed on, we had a white rug. I guess that's my fault for being a dumb ass. But he.
Starting point is 00:15:01 Why are you a dumbass here? I have a white rug. I have a dog. It shouldn't have a white rug if you have a dog. It could be like a yellow rug. It was like more of like a cream, but again, you can see the... Any of those like light easily stainable colors are tough to have. Yeah, it's just rough when you have a dog.
Starting point is 00:15:19 But he peed on it and like getting that out is like... Well, I've seen, I remember, like, I've seen things that apparently it can like kill a lawn. Like if you see like a bear spot in a lawn. Yeah. It like is from dog piss apparently. which I always thought it was just like waste. It was like good for the environment. Piss?
Starting point is 00:15:39 No, the ship. Why not the pimps? Um, I don't know. It just like ruins something with the grass. But what is in piss that makes it not good for the earth? The piss, the whole piss. But what? What element?
Starting point is 00:15:55 I guess any of it. I don't know. And why would shit make this grow double time? Yeah, exactly. Like aren't we consuming all of the nutrients? That's the dichotomy right there. It's fucking, this will make you grow and this will make you die. And we have to meet in the middle.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Duality of man. Exactly. The dichotomy of stuff. It causes chemical burns, actually. It's highly concentrated in nitrogen and mineral salts. It's just too much for the grass. Nitrogen is good for grass, though. It does say that.
Starting point is 00:16:25 So it's so piss. It says while nitrogen is key nutrients, dumping it in one spot causes chemical burns, draws out the moisture of the grass. So we're burning this thing, we're burning the lawn with dog piss like a fight club scene. Oh, so hold on. So what if you just dump a cup of piss into water and then it dilutes it. So then now it's nutrient, more nutrient compatible with the grass. So you could start a lawn care business where people send in their dog piss and you mix it in with enough water and they send it back to you.
Starting point is 00:17:01 You could spray your lawn. Beautiful lawn. I'm going to spray my lawn with dog piss. It's going to smell like... I mean, it'll be so, like, dissipated and not as, you know... You still don't want your lawn to smell like dog piss. Yeah. But it's not.
Starting point is 00:17:14 Like, it could just water it. Yeah. Or like chia seeds, whatever it is? Chia pets, whatever is. Huh? What's the Chia pet thing? I don't fucking... That's just water and chia seeds.
Starting point is 00:17:23 That's what I said. Chea seeds. So you want to mix urine and chia seeds? No, no. We're getting rid of the urine, I think. Yeah, I think so as well. We're just going to water it. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:17:31 that I know if they ever make another jackass movie, that's going to be their morning, you know, chia seed pudding. It's just going to be piss and chia seeds. Oh, come on. Thick, you know what you guys should do? No. Who?
Starting point is 00:17:43 You should do thickening agent in urine and see what happens. It's like disgusting even think about it. Also, I heard recently that, like, in Switzerland, they're, like, going to start fining people because, like, if you don't pick up your dog's piss, which I don't even know how you go, about doing that. How do you pick,
Starting point is 00:18:05 wait, wait, wait, wait, when Charlie goes out to pee, he pees and then it's just, it's part of the ground. Yeah, I mean, it's just for the earth. It's not for me. How would you clean up your dog's piss? Unless I had a hose on me.
Starting point is 00:18:17 I don't know how I would do that. Lord knows you don't got a hose on you. Or like a turkey baster and I suck it up. Ooh, that's bad. I know why. Did I ever tell you about the time that someone yelled at me for that? For having a turkey baster?
Starting point is 00:18:30 No, for my dog pissing on the ground. and I was like this is when I lived in Astoria in my last apartment, are you crying? I started a gag for some reason when he said turkey based there. But I was walking my dog in Astoria around like Astoria Boulevard
Starting point is 00:18:46 in like 30 Summer Street and it was at night. It was like real dark and Charlie's peeing on a tree and this woman like appeared out of nowhere and I swear to God she looked like she was made out of brick. Like she looked like really old and crackily
Starting point is 00:19:02 and like you know what I I mean? Or what's the shit outside of like Italian homes? What's that? Stucco. She looked like she was made a stucco. And she had a cigarette and just like lit up her face. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? And then she was like, you're going to pick that up? And I was like, oh, she thinks it's poop. So I was like, oh, he's just peeing. And she's like, I don't care what his name is. That's just he said to me. She said, I don't care what his name is. And I'm like, so she thought, I need my dog past. I'm like, I'm like, he's peeing. First of all, I said he's peeing. And she's like, I don't care what his name is. I don't know if she was fucking with me, but I was like,
Starting point is 00:19:36 pit. I'm like, he's, no, he's peeing. And she's like, you got to pick that up. And I was like, get out of here. Wait, I'm so confused by that. Like, is the expectation, is, and I'm legitimately asking, dog owners, is the expectation that your dog should, you should clean up your dog's piss with like, what, a squirt bottle or something? I think that if, if I was walking by someone's house and he, like, pissed onto their, like gate or something and it I don't know then maybe and if I had water on me then maybe I would like dilute it a little bit but what do you what do you want me to do I just I guess I don't understand like I think that's a part of like being a part of a society if you're going to allow
Starting point is 00:20:20 dogs yeah if you're going to allow dogs you need piss it's the circle of life I think old crackly stucco woman probably just thought he was taking a flump it's possible yeah I was trying to be very clear. She went home and she was just like this fucking young kid named his dog peeing. Yeah. Yeah. And be like, pee. No, don't worry, man. His name is peeing. Yeah. Like as if the name was going to make any of it better. Right. I don't care what his name is. Like, no, this is Baltho. Like, unless it was a famous dog of some sort. Yeah, I don't know. Like, oh, well, it's Balthor or fucking Clifford. So is to say, the town is they're going to, yeah, they adopted it in June 2026. So It was recent.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Yeah. And I don't know their currency, but a hundred of it would be the fine for repeat offenders. Isn't it a franc? Yeah, those are Swiss francs. Swiss francs. First of all, a hundred Swiss francs is a lot of money. Is it? Yes.
Starting point is 00:21:15 How much is it? It's better than the dollar. If I'm not mistaken. So what, like 200 bucks? I don't know if it's that. Yo, if my dog pissed on... 120 bucks, 122. It's still a lot of money.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Yeah. If my dog pissed on a chanling fence and I got fined $120. I'm burning the city down. I'm letting you know you might as well find me for whatever it costs to rip up the fucking lawn because that's what I'm doing. I may kidnap a congressman joker style if I'm getting this ticket for dog pee. Just have them like read a message like you know like they've been fucking abducted taped up and like you're forced them to read something. So high temperatures. I don't know where I got.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I'm sorry. I'm tired. So high temperatures and drought made the urine smell much worse in public areas. So they decided to take it down. I will say that's tough because the building that I live in, like there's a lot of dog owners. And sometimes you get outside and you're like, oh my God, it's on me. Because it's like stinky. But the building like does a good job of like they just like spray the front of the building.
Starting point is 00:22:17 So then why don't they, it's Switzerland. They seem to have a good sense of what they're doing over there. What they could do is take all the money that they get from this and make like on each corner like a piss station. What is that? What would that mean? It would be like a little piss station and then there's like a little like, like, you know, a little like spout that like they piss there and then you open the spout and it washes it away or something like that. I mean, you're at the mercy of a dog. I mean, yeah, that's the thing is like I also don't, I just don't get.
Starting point is 00:22:46 I'm telling you right now, if I ever were to get fined for something like that, it's going to be a big old fat all problem. I'd be really pissed. Also, if you walk far, if you walk far enough, like people are just pissing on the street. We're expecting dogs to pissing. Yo, I can't tell you how many times I've. I've like gotten home from a night out and then I'll take my dog out and he's peeing and I'm like there's no one around
Starting point is 00:23:06 I would just love to rip a piss outside right now. It's like that looks so good. I've never done it but I am so tempted. Oh I mean 2014 Frank has pissed probably there was probably a good summer where I pissed more outside than I did inside. I mean hey later than 2014
Starting point is 00:23:24 you said you used to rip piss in your own backyard. Yeah not like that. There was like three or four or five five times a thousand times yeah yeah no I mean I do get it like when it's hot like a hot smell and piss yeah not great
Starting point is 00:23:40 I agree but also like they're dogs they're not doing it to like fuck the authority you know like they're not doing it like middle finger to society right they're doing it because they physically can't go anywhere do you think that if we're okay with dog pee we should be okay with people pee
Starting point is 00:23:58 I don't... I think there's more people, so just because of the sheer amount of numbers, no. Right. But like... Are they peeing on all fours as well? I think there needs to be context. If I am going to the bathroom in public, you need to, like, talk to me about why. If I'm having...
Starting point is 00:24:19 Like, if I'm going to the bathroom in public, it's out of an emergency situation. Like, don't slap me with a fine to make it ten times worse. but like if I'm just like drunk and having the time of my life and decide to do it then I I understand when's the last time you peed outside and it was like yeah this is illegal but I'm paying oh that's a great question I can't even remember I can't either honestly actually I think I do remember and it was years ago I think I mean do we count my car as outside it's a completely different category that I think you're in by yourself I don't think you're allowed to have it out in the car so yeah I'll tell you yeah that is a least
Starting point is 00:24:57 You can't have your wiener out. I mean, I'm not like, hey guys, take a look. It doesn't, that's not the point. Yeah. How would you even be? It's below the surface of the, like your, your, your, your dick is out in your car. Yeah, but you know you don't do that. Yes, I do.
Starting point is 00:25:13 So you pee inside of your shirt? I like cover everything with my shirt. Get the, yeah. No one believes is you. And who's driving? How many arms are you got? Mr. Octopus! First of all, I haven't done it in my current car.
Starting point is 00:25:25 He, Frank, outside of once. You're, you know. We're going like this with one hand, holding the bottle with the other, and then what, driving with your forehead? Like, how is this car moving? I'd pull over. No, you. No, yes, I do. I really, really do.
Starting point is 00:25:40 I'm serious. I have not pissed in, I can tell you the one time I have pissed in my current car. You just said you never did. No, no, no. I said outside of one time, and it was like an intense emergency. The story is changing like a mootering. It's absolutely not changing like a mootering. I told you what on the way home from the new Hays.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Haven show. It was the one time I had to piss in the car. You pulled over? You're thinking! Yes, yes, I did. Yes, I did. Why are you thinking? Because the times you weren't. Because I'm trying to remember because I had a hundred three fever and then spent the next four days in the hospital. But the why you would think is because there were these times where, I mean, you definitely pissed while continue to drive.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Well, let's check the statute of limitation on that. And then I can tell you when the last time I did it. In Minecraft. But continue the story. In Minecraft. In Minecraft. But your dad is a Lyme criminal. And you are a flasher. Oh, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:26:31 That's a wayward. No, no, no. No, no, no, do that. That's a wayward. That's a wayward. That's a wayward. Oh, my God. That's a wayward.
Starting point is 00:26:40 No, no. My dad's not contributing to this fucking joke. My dad steals one line. Jesus Christ, you better get to these fucking ads because we need a way out of this. I am not a flasher. Cut that the fuck out. Oh, that's not that bad. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Well, you're not actually one. That's why. Allegedly. No, In Minecraft. Don't do that. In my crap. I forgot about that little
Starting point is 00:27:03 Don't do that. In my crap. Fuck all you guys. How about that? All of us. How about both of you? Fuck you. Why?
Starting point is 00:27:11 You're gonna piss your pants soon. I'm fucking putting a curse on you. You gotta hex me? You gotta do that. Yeah. Do I have to do that? Yeah. I'd peeve my pants.
Starting point is 00:27:20 That's fine. I like recently. Like soon. Soon you're going to piss your pants. Oh, What's soon? Within the next calendar year. 365 days, I'm gonna let a rip piss.
Starting point is 00:27:33 What? Piss rip. All right. It's not the biggest problem. Brother, it would not be sick. I piss a lot. I'm not, like, it wouldn't be like a cute little, like, a little tinkle.
Starting point is 00:27:46 If I'm pissing in my pants, the day is done. I need to change. Are you, like, cursing while it's happening? Oh, shit. No. It's like one of those just like, oh.
Starting point is 00:27:57 I don't know that I can. Piss your pants? Like, you know? Like, I could definitely. I think you could, but you'd have to actively do it. That's the thing is we've tricked our brain into not peeing on command,
Starting point is 00:28:09 like into peeing on command. I feel like it's so much easier to crap your pants than pee your pants. Because my butt, I barely have control over. Like, in a moment of crisis, my butt is like, you're on your own.
Starting point is 00:28:21 Like, he doesn't listen. It leaves you out to dry. Yeah, like my butt does not listen to me. When he really has to go, he's like, I'm not even, I'm not even, I'm not even, don't even, don't get me started on stomach stuff. We're talking strictly pissness here. Well, that's what I'm saying. But like my wiener's like always in tune where he listens. He's like, you know, whatever. And even I put him through hell
Starting point is 00:28:38 sometimes because I'm on like I can't get to a bathroom and he'll hold on. Then like my, my, my, my, like, bottom of my stomach starts to get it like hard. You know what I do? It does, you know, I swear to God, same thing. But you know what I do sometimes? I'll leave here and have to pee and forget. I'll be like early into the drive and have to pee. And then I'll just eat sunflower seeds and I'll just not have to pee. I think like the sodium will like reabsorb the piss into my body. Jamie, what you go look that up? He he he I must have a harder job. If it works, it there's there's something going on whether it be I think like if you have to pee look up if you have to pee and you introduce sodium into your body does that make you not have to pee anymore?
Starting point is 00:29:21 I feel like no. Okay. I mean that would make sense. though, right? Because your body retain, as you have salt, your body retains more fluids. But urine? A waste? I don't know. If a waste was sucked up into your body, I mean, that would be like separate. But urine is mostly water. So maybe it just like takes the water parts out of it and then there's just more concentrated urine. I don't think you can sunflower your seed out of pissing. I don't know. What does it say?
Starting point is 00:29:48 So, off the rip, no. Eating sodium does not stop any from peeing. Actually, the kidney response to more sodium. actually results into more urine production over time. You've successfully placeboed your body to do the reverse, which is impressive, honestly. It's the power of thought and of manifestation. And we have manifested being able to piss less when having more salt. Well, I'm eating something salty. It's sucking up all the piss, and so I don't have to piss anymore.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Hey, man. Whatever works. What are we, if not, walking science experiments? That's fair. That is true. I suppose. Yeah, if you think about it, you just don't. You're some meat suit walking around.
Starting point is 00:30:26 It's not weird. Not even you're a meat straw. Remember Dr. Mike told us. We're kind of like... Never mind. Like it's a machine, but it's flesh. What? Isn't that weird?
Starting point is 00:30:39 I like that. I don't know that it's a machine. A machine is metal. I mean... A machine of flesh. There is a mechanical component. Huh? There's a mechanical component.
Starting point is 00:30:52 He said like a baby. There is a mechanical component. There is like mechanical like parts to us. We have joints. Yeah. We have joints. We have a literal battery. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:05 Two, I guess. It's called the ticker. It is called the ticker. Right. That's all I got. When I think about that my heart is just beating. Yeah. Like, it's just beating all the time.
Starting point is 00:31:16 It freaks me out when I think about breathing, dude. Me, I'm like, don't get tired. Just like. And it's just going all the time. Yeah, like it's just always beating. And at no point, the heart's just like, nah, we'll go. Dude, you know what I do? It does get tired.
Starting point is 00:31:28 That's the thing. When I'm with, when I'm hanging out with the kids, like, we'll be like laying in bed watching something. I'll listen to their heartbeat. And I'm just like, this is fucking crazy, dude. Yo, it's a beating heart. It's a beating heart. And it don't stop. Ever.
Starting point is 00:31:39 It's just always. What is that? Guntum, guntum, guntum. And we're just like trusting that it's going to keep going to work. I know. It's scary, dude. And then when we get tired, it actually works more. It acts just, I think not more, but more.
Starting point is 00:31:54 efficiently because we have a slower heart rate when we're like I'm saying it beats faster oh but you mean tired like like when you're exasperated yeah when your body's tired oh I thought you meant like sleeping yeah oh no sleeping it comes down sleeping that's what I'm saying but it's apparently more efficient like that's when your body heals the most when you're sleeping yeah something like your brain literally cleans itself too bro my fucking heart rate so your eyes your eyes heal themselves body's fucking nuts vaginas vaginas self cleaning self cleaning yeah sometimes sometimes What do you mean sometimes? Like sometimes it gets out of whack.
Starting point is 00:32:30 It happens. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm saying sometimes. They know. Sometimes it just doesn't, sometimes there's something wrong. Yeah, yeah. No, no, I get that.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Generally, though, they're known as self-cleaning body parts. There's a joke in there about gender roles and cleaning and vaginas and women. Yeah, we're not, we don't, we're not those guys. I don't quite know what it is, but it's in there. not those comedians to try to find that. Hey, you know women, they're always cleaning. You know what? Work that out for the shows and see how that goes. I'm sure
Starting point is 00:33:05 it'll go stupendously. Speaking of the shows. That's right. We've got submission stuff that we want to talk to you about. Why don't you do the ads first? And then I'll talk about them. We have some ads here. The first one being this lovely box of Magic Spoon. Magic Spoon, if you guys don't know, it's a high protein zero sugar cereal. And it's amazing. Okay. This one is their fruity flavor. It is awesome. I love it. But not only does it taste good, but each serving
Starting point is 00:33:32 packs 12 to 14 grams of protein. So that's high protein. Zero to two grams of sugar. And it tastes really good, even though it's only zero to two grams of sugar. Four to five net carbs, certified gluten-free. So it actually keeps you fueled for the day. So this is a great substitute, or honestly just a great meal to have in the morning. And it's great. It's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, wheat-free, naturally flavored. It's delicious. And it's, you know, it's amazing. So go try it out. They also have these treats, which I always keep in my house, and they're amazing as well. But they're crispy, airy protein-packed snack bars, 12 grams of protein, seven grams of fiber and zero grams of added sugar. Okay. And they're great. It's like a little
Starting point is 00:34:20 bar like this, bang, bang, boom. I've had all of the flavors. All of them are good. And they're great. And with these, there's a bunch of different ones, too. There's frosted, there's cocoa, there's cinnamon crunch. That's my favorite. But yeah, they have that as well. But they have a bunch of stuff at Magic Spoon. It's kind of all centered around being high protein, low sugar. And yeah, it's great. So go check it out. You can look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or at your grocery store, the grocery store nearest you. And you can get $5 off your next order at Maggotspoon.com slash basement. Okay, so go to magic spoon.com slash basement to grab yourself a box of this or some of the, the treats. And yeah, that is magic spoon.com slash basement. Go get that and get $5 off your next order.
Starting point is 00:35:09 This podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp. Better help is online therapy. So if you want to talk to a therapist, you can do so in just under 48 hours with BetterHelp. They are going to help you pair. They're going to help you get paired with a therapist and help you. And help you. out and I've been in therapy for years now. I think that everyone should be in it. I think it's very important and it's great to have like a non-biased person in your life that you can talk to and get advice from or they can help you work through some of your own issues or whatever, even nothing traumatic, just anything. And I think that it's helpful for everyone. So I would definitely recommend it. And yeah, you can definitely go check them out. BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash basem yard.
Starting point is 00:35:50 that is betterhelp.com slash basement yard, okay? More than 6 million people have used BetterHelp globally. So definitely go check it out. Betterhelp.com slash basement yard. And while you're sitting there and you're perusing the internet, why don't I give you a couple extra places that you can go and check out? The first of which being Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement yard is the subscription service we use here
Starting point is 00:36:14 to give you guys more of us and a little bit of us, a little bit extra, a little early, you know, a little, ugh. It's a lot of fun. You guys have been so incredibly supportive and wildly fucking just making our dreams come true over here. Over 51, close to 52, over 52,000 of you guys are supporting us over on Patreon, and we want to thank you guys and try to entice the people that haven't come on over a little,
Starting point is 00:36:40 come on over, come hang out, and have a little fun with us. Check out those tiers. That first tier, you get these weekly episodes one whole week in advance, and then that second tier. Well, guess what? You got exclusive episodes. What the fuck? Every single Friday. So you could start your week with an episode, a new episode of the basement yarn,
Starting point is 00:36:57 and end your week with a new episode of the Basin Yard. And then you got Santa Gada Studios in the middle there. There's so much going on here. And we want you to be a part of it. So go check it out at patreon.com slash the basement yard. Thank you so much. And guess what? If you join, by the way, you get everything.
Starting point is 00:37:15 If you're brand new, you get everything that had come before. So you have hours and hours. and hours of episodes on there for you to peruse and take a gander under the skirt. So go check it out, patreon.com slash the basement yard. And then we got a new store, sannigato studios.com. You're going to see some new merch options up there. They're fun. They're a lot of fun.
Starting point is 00:37:35 You're definitely going to go on to check it out and see what we got there. We had the studios FC jerseys that you guys seem to really like, and there's new stuff being made all the time. So go to sannagato studios.com and take a little look over there because there might be something over there that you like. And you know what? I got one more for you. Thebasementyard.com. What are you going to find there?
Starting point is 00:37:53 That's a great question there, Jack. You're going to find information on our live shows because we're going back on the road and doing more live shows. We are very excited. We have been figuring out exactly what run a show is going to look like and we want it to be interactive because you guys have been so supportive and it's been so fun getting to talk and interact with you guys during these shows, so we're doing it again.
Starting point is 00:38:14 So during those first two rounds of shows, we did those cards where people submit cards and we're like, oh my God, what these are crazy stories? And we talk about them, sometimes to the person and what have you, or sometimes they're endearing. Now, this time, you're doing something similar. You're going to the basementyard.com slash submit, and you're submitting an out-of-context photo from your camera roll. It could be anything that you want it to be. It could be funny. It could be silly. It could be endearing. You could be crazy. It could be cooey. It could be who knows what. But you are going to go, you're going to tell us which show that you're attending. You're going to upload a photo.
Starting point is 00:38:45 I'm sorry I sneezed and then you're going to tell us the story behind that photo. So you can include your name if you want, but it's a lot of fun and we're excited to have that to be a part of the show. So go check it out. Thebasemanyard.com slash submit. We're excited to get back on the road. We're excited for everything and we hope you're excited too. I apologize for sneezing guys. I couldn't help it.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Do you stop sneezes? I know people do like the whole like pineapple thing, which I've tried. but like can you stop your own sneezes? I think if I try to if I swallow a lot like if I feel like a sneeze coming on I just swallow a lot but I don't think anything helps
Starting point is 00:39:27 Mr. Swallows a lot. Get him, chat. I did when Ant does. He chatted you. I did what aunt does. Hit you in a chat. I hit you in a chat. I did what he did. That was homophobic. Was it?
Starting point is 00:39:38 I don't know, I missed it. Oh no. I apologize. That was not my intent. Well, no, you did it. Mangles. Yeah. You hit him with a chat. I could hit you guys with a riddle if you want.
Starting point is 00:39:50 Fuck me. God damn it. I got one. Fuck me. Let me drink my water before I start screaming. It's just like a Johnny Whoop thing? Sort of. It's a verbal one.
Starting point is 00:40:00 So you're just going to tell me what can touch and what cannot touch. Simple as that. Tips. Yeah. Right. So I'm going to go apples touch. Lemons touch. Oranges do not touch.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Not cool in oranges. So you need to tell me... One more time? Apples, touch. Lemons, touch. Oranges do not touch. Not one bit. So you need to give me things that you can put in a category of touches and cannot touch.
Starting point is 00:40:28 So apples touch. Apples touch. And lemons definitely touch. Lemons definitely touch. Apples definitely touch. Apples always touch. Lemons always touch. Lemons always touch.
Starting point is 00:40:37 Oranges never fucking touch. Never touch. Grapes touch. Grapes do touch. Yeah. Blueberries don't touch Blueberries do touch They do
Starting point is 00:40:49 Xbox controllers touch Xbox controllers do touch I have no idea why they're friends Touch Friends do touch I believe For another example So like here
Starting point is 00:41:05 Tables touch Chairs do not touch They don't Don't Tables Touch ladders chairs
Starting point is 00:41:17 wait okay ladders do those touch those do touch those do not I don't think that no I don't think ladders touch because
Starting point is 00:41:27 I thought it was a syllables thing like ladders tables is it because chairs chairs don't apples apple two
Starting point is 00:41:39 lemon lemon two oranges that's three So maybe To be clear An orange also does not touch Orange
Starting point is 00:41:49 That's two What? Oh oh oh Oh damn Because that's too like apple and lemon What the hell Plants touch Yeah they do
Starting point is 00:41:58 Trees do not touch Fuck now I'm getting angry God damn it Is it like the generality of it Like the category touches But the actuality Like the specific thing So like it'll be like
Starting point is 00:42:10 Tuts touch It'll be like trees Planes touch, but a 747 dreamliner doesn't touch. A dreamliner does touch. A dreamliner? Planes touch. Do bats touch? Bats touch.
Starting point is 00:42:28 What the fuck? What about an ass? Ass does not touch. Balls touch. Yo, I'm an idiot. I wonder if anyone at home has it yet. Oh, wait, apples touch. Apples touch.
Starting point is 00:42:49 Why are you saying it like that? Yeah, you're saying it like this is why he's doing apple, you know like apples touch Oh, all right hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on feet touch feet feet feet I believe feet do touch Feet? Feet cars do not touch no they don't cocks touch. Cocks do not touch fuck god damn it now I just look like an idiot for saying cox yeah yeah Bikes touch Bikes do they God damn Bears touch
Starting point is 00:43:22 Bears touch Coyotes do not touch Coyotes A reclining chair does not touch A reclining chair does not touch I got it I don't think he has it I don't have it one bit
Starting point is 00:43:39 Do you think it's like something to do with the Like it's got to be the spelling Or the letters in the words or something like that That always is. Okay, what about this? America does touch. Right. Australia does not touch.
Starting point is 00:43:56 That doesn't help at all. I promise it does help. Promises touch. Secrets don't touch. You're just saying words. You're just saying words like we're going to fucking get it. Joe's trying really hard. I'm like right there.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Promises. Yeah, they do. Oh. Oh, I got it. Do you? Yeah, I don't think he does. I have it. Hands touch.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Hands. No. Oh, maybe he does have it. Do not touch. Uh-oh. No. But I know it. But thumbs.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Yeah. I know it. See, this is where, this is how these things happen. This is my favorite part when Joe does get it. This is your favorite part where I'm fucking angry because you guys have ganged up on me. Well, it's like, uh, you have to think very, like, abstract about like, obviously it has nothing to do with the words. Well. I mean, like, the definitions of the words.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Got it. You know what I mean? Like, it's never that. No. See, that's literal. Like, it's about the words, but it's not about the definition of the words. That's not helpful. Like, hats don't touch.
Starting point is 00:45:08 Caps. So, so the reason why I was paying attention, because he was saying it weird. Right? One of the words, what were you saying? Apples or something? He was going, apples. right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:22 He was doing that though, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, like, paying attention to that, like, why would he enunciate? Apples. Yeah, right. Is it like something that, like, it starts with a vowel?
Starting point is 00:45:33 No, because lemons don't. No, no, no. Lemons touch. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Apples, lemons. Oh, I got it. I got it. I got it.
Starting point is 00:45:44 All right. It has a word. I got it. Coke. It doesn't touch. Okay. Coke doesn't touch. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Pepsi touches. But Pepsi touches. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So, so, so, uh, cat doesn't touch. Does not touch.
Starting point is 00:46:01 Puppy touches. Yeah. The touching is the lip. The lips. The lips. I got it. There we go. Wow.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Not bad. Not a bad one. That wasn't. That was. That sucked all the way. I fucking hate those things. Got it. Got it.
Starting point is 00:46:13 Got it. I hate those things because I know the, part of what makes me hate them is I am, I know that you sit there like, I know and they don't. well that's exactly part of that yeah like you sit there like you're a horny little fucking bastard like you're like I haven't they aren't horny oh okay I feel like that went speaking of horny did you guys see the video of uh two people getting caught making out super hard it's like Madison Square park or something I think it was Central Park I don't know if I could play the video no I'm not I didn't say I was gonna be I'm just saying
Starting point is 00:46:42 okay that is the photo and like I will say this they're going for it they're going for it. It looks like it. You know, it's like, he's like, he's like leaning. Yeah. We are, we are like minutes away from a full blown. Really? Like, just go and just fully like. I'll tell you this.
Starting point is 00:47:01 I don't know if there's been a time of my life where I've had a back of the head makeout that hasn't resulted in full on coitus. Yeah. And full on. In fumping. Yeah. Insertion of the things in the back. the back good for you the bag oh oh oh you're back brother the bag yeah well i'm like in the back
Starting point is 00:47:28 and i'm like we'll learn things about joey today okay no no no in the bag is my bag the bag not the saying the bag is any helpful uh helpful uh helfer g yeah you know what i mean no you got it yeah but uh yeah i mean i will say this filming people making out very weird I just, I don't make it out in public though. That's weird too. Yes. I, I, because the internet was kind of like divided where people are saying like, they're fucking weird. They should stop making out in public.
Starting point is 00:47:57 And then someone's saying like, also why are you recording them doing this? And also pull it up. I'll tell you this. Thank God middle school, Frankie, that there weren't these social media sites like this because I was, I was kissing in public. Oh. You know? what you were going to say. I was kissing in public.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Were you? You were a makeout, like, on the train in front of people? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I was never like that. Yeah. Well, what are you going to do? You were making out with girls on the train.
Starting point is 00:48:29 I'm not saying it was like, like, I'm not saying that it was the right thing to do, but it happened. I would, I would like make out with my middle school girlfriends in the hallway. But sometimes... How was that better? than yeah hold on Joey how is that better than a park bench no no I'm not in the whole like between class like not not like when everyone's in the hallway like like like while classes is in session we would less people in the hallway beforehand and I'd be like yeah I'd like wait like five minutes and then maybe I think that's
Starting point is 00:49:00 more of a stairwell thing I yeah that's what I mean oh okay hallway is different from okay not in the hallway where everyone's there hallway is like they fucking look out the window and they're just like there's Joey and no no no Dominicaana princesses Yeah. So, middle school hallway and bus? I mean, like, park. You know, I'm not sitting there like it was like we were just fucking for the whole time.
Starting point is 00:49:24 I mean, I would make out in a park, but it would be at night. In an alley or something? For sure, alleyways. Yes. Alleyways is big. I remember that? Yeah. Alleyways is a big one.
Starting point is 00:49:32 I just, I see both arguments here where people are just like, hey, if you're going this intense, pull it back a little. I think that's the intensity of the kiss. because people kiss in public. I kiss in public. I have no issue with PDA to a degree. Looking at the hand placement here. It's bananas. This is getting close.
Starting point is 00:49:55 I don't know how I feel about people like making out. That feels very intimate. But also like as a society that we have been like, I'm just going to open my phone and record and walk up to these people. That's crazy. That's bananas too. Yeah, that's weird. Like allow me to help you off.
Starting point is 00:50:13 of that high horse that you've been riding. I think that if you're going to be making out, you either have to be in like a dark bar slash cocktail lounge or like a club. But if you're just like making out... I'm going to name some places... At like a resh... Like a cafe.
Starting point is 00:50:31 I'd be like, this is nuts. I'm going to name some places. You give me your thumbs up, thumbs down, on if makeout is appropriate. Yeah. Okay, let's start here. Nightclub. Of course.
Starting point is 00:50:42 What else are you there for? That's great point. I mean, to dance. Yeah, but enjoy yourself. Not at, not at 21. The zoo. Making out at the zoo is nuts. What animal are we by?
Starting point is 00:50:58 That's a great. See, this is why, that is a great question. Flamingos. Okay. It's a little better. How? Is it kind of a pretty bird? What's the line of thinking?
Starting point is 00:51:08 Pretty bird. Gorillas. But you're still in public around a place where children frequent and you're making out. I would do it if it were around the gorillas because I'd be like, I'm going to show them like what making out is. You want to show
Starting point is 00:51:23 animals a lot. I'm going to show them what's going on. Okay. Central Park. No, I personally would not. Under a bridge in Central Park. I'll get engaged there. Which arguably even more intimate.
Starting point is 00:51:43 No, you're right. I don't know. That just came out. Well, not Mr. Things are about to happen in the back. That's true. It's the bag. Yeah, I don't know. For me personally, like, maybe I don't know.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Maybe I'm wrong and people feel differently. But like, just making out, especially with the hand behind the head, is like, once the hands get around the ear, just go have sex. Just go. I mean, not always as easy for people. or, I mean, they appear to be at the beginning, middle, or end of a work day. Clearly something went, like, I don't know the situation between these two, but clearly something went well, because they're in suits, like, work, like, they're doing something, something went well.
Starting point is 00:52:26 Aren't they-lawyers? Yeah, I think they're lawyers. I don't know the situation of, like, if this is, like, a not good thing, but. Oh, you think it's like a cold play concert where, like, they got caught in the act? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, that has nothing to do with me, but I just think that make now in a park, regardless of your, you know, status is a heavy move. Yes, I, yes, I agree.
Starting point is 00:52:49 I, to, to a degree. I think that the intensity of the makeout, like, I guess maybe even just making out, like I think we're at, we're at passionate kiss level now. Even that, like, I think that, like, just given a kiss is, like, is very nice and, like, appropriate. But for me, I just, it feels so intimate to be like, we're going to make out and there's going to be, like,
Starting point is 00:53:12 straight. I don't know. Yeah, I get it. I think I honestly have more issue with the person that felt like I'm gonna film wait until, wait until the internet sees this. Yeah. And it's just like, dude, you suck. Yeah. Like you, we have become just like, the, the idea of getting a tweet or a post to go viral has become more powerful than like invasion of privacy. Is it, is it weird to say like, I'd be fine with this, I think, as long as they're not making noises. noises like an umb um you know
Starting point is 00:53:46 how do you make out you know what I'm saying it's like make out with your hand right now and explain you know what I'm saying like making like a moaning kind of noise
Starting point is 00:53:53 yeah yeah yeah like as long as you're not doing that yeah yeah yeah like that pretty much yeah I got you yeah as long as you're not doing that I mean you have to that's how you make out
Starting point is 00:54:02 yeah you're right I don't make out silently yeah that's fair learning a lot about Joey today I guess what if you're gonna make out I mean I'm not sitting here I'm not saying you're wrong
Starting point is 00:54:12 but like, you gotta throw some passion in behind a makeup. You can't just be like, especially if my hands go into back here. If the hands in the back like that, like, yeah, I'm sounding like a fucking wolf. It's not even like, you're not even kissing at that point. You've just lined your mouths up to create the most intense amount of suction between two humans.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Respectful hand placement to me, like these hands could be much, much worse spots for a public bench. Really? I think that the dude's hand, like, that's the most intense spot you can get. Besides, like, grabbing a place. boom or something. No, I think there are way more intense spots for public. You could get down there. Oh, yeah. I just, I, I get, I get, and I don't want to drag these poor people. Like,
Starting point is 00:54:51 I don't like that. The, the, the, I'm telling you right now, if I was a bystander and I saw someone do that to another couple and they get into it, I'd go up to the person that was recording them and be like, you're fucking weird. Yeah, like, why would, yeah. Like, who do you think you are that like, you're the moral authority on this and like, you're going to what? Like, what's the end goal with this. You're going to be proven right? I honestly don't think there's a moral issue. I don't feel like I would like I wouldn't see people making out and be like those people are disgusting. I'd be like, I would never do that. Yeah. That's pretty much where my, my, like, the extent of my like, I'd be like, well, I wouldn't do that, but got like, you know, clearly they're
Starting point is 00:55:29 horned and ready to go. I also think that there is like a lot more context needed. Like, if this is at a playground where there is like a bunch of young children playing, they're in a park. I know, but like there's different, especially with like New York parks. Like they're not all like geared toward like young kids. Yeah, I mean, they're not, if they're sitting on the top of a slide, then I'd be like, guys. They're on the monkey bars. Yeah, yeah, that would be a little weird. Kids waiting to go down.
Starting point is 00:55:58 It's like, hey, hey, you guys done? Yeah. If they were doing this in a McDonald's ball pit, then I'd probably have a problem with it, honestly. Yeah, that's fair. Like, do your thing. I told you by the time that I saw a couple making out at a bar, super. hard and then the dude pulled back and he said wait who you vote for and he left yeah just booked it how do you get that information via kissing i i must have been part of it before because they were
Starting point is 00:56:22 making out for a while it must have been part of it before and it was a darker bar but they were at the bar which i think is a wild place to be making out like like sitting at the bar yeah i'm not justifying it but i think once you add alcohol into it there is obviously less decision making there Release your inhibitions Fill the red on your skin That's what it is It lets you down a little bit It was also a whiskey bar
Starting point is 00:56:48 So two drinks there A whiskey bar Yeah good night Where? Long Island City Is that not the Drunkest place on the planet Um
Starting point is 00:56:57 Where you can't get a beer Can you? I don't know But it's like It's a whiskey first place I understand I get the concept But like
Starting point is 00:57:06 I'm not sure I don't think you can If you see two people intensely making out at a whiskey bar. That is a that might be the I don't even know how to explain it but like that is so intense.
Starting point is 00:57:24 Am I not crazy for that? That seems like that's like a tequila bar. Like whoa, these people are drunk. Yeah. I mean, they didn't seem like sloppy drunk or anything. They just seemed like super making out with each other. And then he was, I just feel like whiskey's one of those alcohols that gets
Starting point is 00:57:40 you quickly there. Yeah, it could definitely catch up to you and get you going. You know what I mean? So, like, it's not like you're going to be like a moderate buzz. Like, you're either not drunk or you're drunk. You're turned up, yeah. You know? Well, I'm glad this kind of passion exists in the world.
Starting point is 00:57:55 I fully agree. Yeah, I'm all about people making out with their people super hard. I just personally wouldn't do it in pub. Four reasons like this, too. I wouldn't want someone running up on me with a camera. That would be weird. It was like Joe Sanagato spotted in the park. making out. It's also unfair
Starting point is 00:58:12 that you can't just like smash their phone on the ground. You probably could. I mean, guess what? That video doesn't get out there if I take it. You get in trouble for that, but it's like, I feel like you should be able to. Like that's the thing. If that guy has stood up spike it. Yeah. And this video never, if this guy stood up and took the phone, that video is never getting out.
Starting point is 00:58:31 I don't know. Yeah, but then you get in trouble. It's just, you get in trouble. I mean, I agree. I'm not going to, you know, encourage criminality. You know how I love to not be a criminal. I love it. Well, that's good. Not like some people's dads here. Stealing limes.
Starting point is 00:58:51 You're guilty of your own crimes. Hey, man. I'm not going to bring up your crimes, but... But before we get to the rest of these crimes... I commit no crimes. We have some sponsors here. The first one being Seekek. Seek is where you're going to want to get all your tickets for if you want to go to a baseball game. You want to go to any sporting event or a concert or anything like that.
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Starting point is 01:01:29 I love a good meal. I do love a good meal. I love a good one. You love a meal? I love a good meal. Aw, I made a good meal. You don't like a good meal? Are you getting attached to the word meal?
Starting point is 01:01:44 It's one of those things. If I say it like five more times, I'm going to be like, that's the weirdest word on the planet. Yeah. I haven't done that in a while where I got a word. I'm like, is this right? I love the word pumpernickel. Just a good word. What even is it?
Starting point is 01:02:01 I know it's red. I think it's a grain. Oh. It's like a, isn't it? I don't know. I think it's a grain but... Pump or nickel.
Starting point is 01:02:10 Just a great... I also... I'm not a big fan of the taste. It's like super fine. Oh, it's like gray? Oh, it's the name of like the type of bread. Yeah, I thought it was a grain.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Corsley ground whole rye grain. Yo, bread's so fucking good. Dude, I love bread. Dude. I love bread. Dude. Bread's so good. I'm such a little, like...
Starting point is 01:02:32 If, if... Because I've gone through different. like dietary restriction phases and stuff like that. The two things that are the most difficult for me to not have or limit, bread, yeah. Cheese. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:02:47 I can, I can't. Really? But like bread, I can't. I love bread. And if I'm going to limit cheese, I'm doing no cheese.
Starting point is 01:02:55 I'm not doing like, this is peanut shredded mozzarella. I could do that if I'm desperate, yeah. Really? Yeah. I'd just like, I'd rather have the cheese.
Starting point is 01:03:05 I'd rather have nothing than not something I don't enjoy, and I'm trying to make work. I mean, I would enjoy it. How do you know? I've done it. I've had it before. Like some of those cheeses? I know what it is, and I know it's not cheese,
Starting point is 01:03:22 and I'm like, man, but this just makes me miss more. It just, like, further highlights how good cheese is. Cheese is really good. And it's, like, nasty, isn't it? It is kind of fucking stinky and filthy, too. It's, like, spoiled shit. I don't know if it's always spoiled. Like some are like blue cheese as mold.
Starting point is 01:03:38 Yeah, what the hell? Gorgonzola. Talk about good word. I haven't had Gorgon. That is a great word. Dude, Espo's mom makes the best Gorgonzola salad I've ever had in my life. Gorgonzola just sounds like the name of a 10-foot, 500-pound man with one eye. It sounds like if there was like a Greek version of the Power Rangers, what their Megasota would be called.
Starting point is 01:04:02 Gorgonzola. Yastu! Ticalis a Gorgonzola Come on, right? I can't picture the Greeks doing that Speaking of the back Oh
Starting point is 01:04:15 They apparently invented butts Yeah Is that true Look that up Google so we Did Greeks invent anal Look it up I believe
Starting point is 01:04:24 I believe the Greeks invented sex But the Italians Introduced it to women I believe is what the thing was Is that the joke? Yo hold on Is that the joke That was a crazy thing
Starting point is 01:04:34 you just. Is that the joke? That's what that's the joke. That's what your dad, that's a joke your dad told. That's the classic. Your dad seems like he'd be pumped to tell that one. What's,
Starting point is 01:04:42 but Italian. Did the Greeks invent anal? Did the Greeks invent anal sex? We want to search this on this. Yes. Okay. This is his computer.
Starting point is 01:04:53 No. You're trusting AI. No single culture of person invented that practice. This is, which would make a little more. sense, if you think about it, actually. The Greeks invented checks. It's funny.
Starting point is 01:05:09 The Italians didn't do it gaily. It's funny to imagine the Greeks, like, inventing anal sex and then traveling on ships and getting to other countries and being like, you have to try. They show up in their togas with their fucking grapes and wine, and they're just like, guys. Wait, we got a couple things that we're showing you here. Democracy. and anal sex. And the Olympics. The Olympics.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Democracy. Putting that thing in that butt. Right. You know? I fully went my whole life believing that was true. I don't see. Like that's a harmless... Maybe they perfected it.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Like this is an example of like a harmless thing to just continue to believe. Like there does, it doesn't do anyone any bad if we just continue to believe the Greeks invented anal. Right? Like you think someone's going to come out? to be like, wait a sec. It feels like a... The Mesopotamians actually did it. It feels like a natural...
Starting point is 01:06:10 Like, you would think that the first people that are like, oh, we do this. It's like, it's right there. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Once you try the one, you'd be like, oh, maybe these other... There's also... You got another one, apparently, too, right? And, like, that one's got to be cool, too.
Starting point is 01:06:30 Wait, so how many do you have? Right. And then, and then you start. Or if it's if it's guy on guy, they're just like, well, you only got one. Yeah. What else am I going to? Well, you got two. You got two.
Starting point is 01:06:41 You got two. There's a couple. You got two. You always have two. You're book ending, you know? Right. But like, they're just like. So it feels like how could the Greeks be the one that like?
Starting point is 01:06:53 You know what I'm saying? Like, how can we go so much time? I think, wait a minute. I think most history is traced back to the ancient Greece. Is it? Ancient Greeks or the ancient Egyptians. Who came first? Egyptian?
Starting point is 01:07:06 I was of the full belief that the world was... To my understanding... Completely, like, it started in Africa. Well, that's my understanding as well. So it's probably the Egyptian. Oh, this is a common question. Yeah. Egypt, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:19 So it is Africa. Yeah, I think they say that Africa is the cradle of human civilization. Oh, by a lot. Yeah, dude. I think that Africa is like the beginning of everything. I believe, yeah, that's what I have heard as well. So then... So you think...
Starting point is 01:07:34 Pangaea? think in all those years. Well, that was before. Pangea was before humans, brother. I think Pangea was like dinosaurs. Well, I'm saying, yeah. I'm saying like, they're saying like, never mind. Because they were like the center of Pangea, you're saying? Yeah. Got it. So in all those years. Was it the center? Yeah, yeah. You thought that no one else decided to be like, what about the other one? Wait, how long was it? It's like 30, 3,100 BC. What's BCE? That's before, before Christ. Before Christ. I. I mean, I think BC used to be before Christ, but BCE, I think, Star.
Starting point is 01:08:08 Yeah, I think it's something different now. It's still BC. So neither of you have an answer? Great. It means something different. It used to mean before Christ and then Ano Domini was AD, but like BCE now means something different. Yeah, my question is, what does it mean?
Starting point is 01:08:21 I got you. Before common era. There it is. What's common era? I believe that's just like the way you say it without. Without being religious. Yeah. Some people don't.
Starting point is 01:08:30 But I still don't know like numerically what it means. Oh, so BCE. works so if it goes from 3,000 it goes up down to zero and then from zero up to 2026 so we are in the common era now from zero to now yeah zero to now is the common era and before that it was bc so before so 3,000 wasn't the year 3,000 it was 3,000 before year zero wait a minute i think you're making that up no i'm not i don't know what's going on it was counting down the term bc itself appeared We should probably talk on this podcast of ours. No, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:14 See, this is something that, like, you know, I went to CCD, so it was all, like, before Christ and after Christ, and I was like, well, I'm not going to ask about years. It's like, what? Okay, this is the answer. So BCE is the same as B.C. It corresponds directly to B.C. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:09:29 All right. See, this is what's tough. When I say something that is right, you guys, like, you have to look it up. Frank, you're right. 10% of the time. And I wasn't disagreeing with you. I'm saying I don't know. I was asking questions.
Starting point is 01:09:41 But BC, so they say that like, so what? Then the Christians believe that Christ was born? They start to, like, year zero? Well, I think that's when they start, like, figure it. Like, now this is like our lynchpin nexus event. Like, we're going to start counting everything after this. Nexus event. And everyone goes by that?
Starting point is 01:10:03 Well, I think that it was established. with the whole like Christ thing in mind. And then other people have been like, you know what, we're just going to call it something different, but we'll keep that. But like other religions is my point. Like they acknowledge the fact that it's 2026.
Starting point is 01:10:17 You know, that's a great question. I'm not, I'm not as well versed with other religions, like record keeping or like how they acknowledge years. What did you type? Do other religions go off BC also?
Starting point is 01:10:32 No. But yeah, I have no idea, man. Oh man, we're getting really interesting. I'm sure it all lines up in their own way. You know something I learned that is cool? And I might have brought this up before, but there were originally 10 months to the year.
Starting point is 01:10:50 That's why our last month is December, and DEC, DECA, is the prefix for 10. Right. November, 9, October, 8. And then Julius Caesar was just like, give me two months in the best time of the year and they're mine that's why julius augustus july and august that's fire that's kind of crazy that we just let him get away with that i mean i think brutus had something to say about that he was just like you did what dude and the 13
Starting point is 01:11:21 and the 32 other people probably had something to say about it as well feels like what other 32 i think he got stabbed 32 times right by the whole council did he i thought it was brutus i thought this guy was just like, yo. He was stabbed like John Snow. Really? Just everyone in a line? This is for so-and-so. You think there was one guy that was just like,
Starting point is 01:11:43 this is for those random two fucking months, douchebag. He was stabbed 23 times. 44 BC. By different people? On March 15th. This is so insane to me that like we know it. Like learn anything?
Starting point is 01:11:57 Yeah. I mean, this is all AI. Like I said, take it with a grain of salt. This is pretty. Like, it was, yeah, it was. Take what would a grain of salt? That is AI. This is pretty common.
Starting point is 01:12:06 Like, this is... You know AI's not making it up. It's like pulling information. I know, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's pulling accurate information. I mean, it's pulling it from like Wikipedia. Only one of the wounds was fatal, though. You're not helping yourself. Wikipedia is good now.
Starting point is 01:12:23 Is it? Yeah, they like keep on top of it, apparently. You know what I like to do? I like to go to a random Wikipedia page and then try to think of another Wikipedia page and try to get there in the least amount of clicks. I've seen that. You know? Wikipedia Speed Run.
Starting point is 01:12:36 Is that what it's called? Yeah. Yeah, I like to do that. So, like, go to that one, the assassination of Julius Caesar. See if you can get to... Where do we want to get to? Ooh, where can we get?
Starting point is 01:12:45 Hot dogs. Perfect. Okay. So, help me. Saw me if you see something. So we got to get... So scroll down. I mean, there's got to be something about him.
Starting point is 01:12:52 Go to the Julius Caesar page and then adding the months. Oh, and we get to Fourth of July. And then we can get to the Fourth of July, and then we can fucking definitely get the hot. You made us waste a click because we were already on Julius Caesar page. Well, no, that was the death of Julius Caesar. Okay, so now we got to get to July. This might include something about
Starting point is 01:13:08 his fucking, like, putting the months and shit like that. Earlier life, we don't care. This might take a little longer than I thought. Yeah, it's a lot of reading. It's also not really good for... First of all, this is the longest Wikipedia page I've ever seen in my entire life. Where are the months, bro? I mean, on the left, there's like
Starting point is 01:13:25 a table of contents. It's cheating. This guy, Julius Caesar, did a couple of tanks, didn't he? Yeah, he seems pretty important. Well, all right, well, this probably. Feels like this game's over. Yeah, yeah, a little, yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:41 All right, you guys go, I got it. I'll figure it out. Yeah, it's okay. Okay, no matter. It's fine. God, I wish I could find old-timey coins. Probably could. Where?
Starting point is 01:13:51 Just at an antique shop or something? No, but like that. I'm talking like an ancient Greek coin. Like a shilling? Is that what they were called? No. I don't think so. That's like pirate money.
Starting point is 01:14:02 De blooms? I'm not versed. I have no idea, but. It's still, you still haven't, we still haven't played the new Assassin's Creed where we can go be fucking pirates again. Is that out? Yeah, baby, it's out. I need to pop that bitch on.
Starting point is 01:14:19 Probs. If there's a thing where we could both be pirates on a ship together, you want to do one? Yeah, I love being pirates on a video game ship. I know they were like really actually not good people in history, but like I'm cool with like the version of pirates that we have come to like where they're just like rum drinking like hard-h-dard-di-di-di-dard part of yours. So I think if you paid attention to any of those movies you would see that they're also bad people in those too. Because they're like pillaging.
Starting point is 01:14:47 No, I know. I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. But I'm saying like. Walk in the plank. Listen, I understand the atrocities of the pirates. You don't need to try to like, you know, bring me back down to. reality. What I'm saying, though, is that, like, I like the version of a pirate that is not a bad person. Yeah. You know? Where it's like, was he a pirate? Was he a pirate technically? He was kind of like
Starting point is 01:15:13 boys with the British. He was a mate. He was, he was on the ship and fighting with a sword and stuff. He's Davy Jones. He did become Davy Jones eventually. Oh, did he? Yeah, you didn't see. Oh, spoiler alert. Yeah. My bad. Because he rescued his dad? Yeah. His dad was Davey Jones. His dad was taken... His dad was taken by Davy Jones's people. Who's the guy with the squid face? That was Davy Jones.
Starting point is 01:15:39 And then someone else can be him? Yeah, if you stab him in the heart, then you become... But like the heart is in the thing. Oh, it's like in a box. Yeah, it's not in him. And then I get the squid face? Why the fuck what I want that? I mean, you don't get the squid face,
Starting point is 01:15:52 but you just get to be like a fucked up barnacle face looking fucker. No, I think the squid face was only if you neglected, like, your duties or something. Then they'd give you a squid face. I'm not opposed to having a squid face if I'm a pirate. I'm opposed. Really? I mean, not that I want to be the other guys either. I mean, to be honest, if you're trying to be a pirate, you're going to be taken way more seriously if you got a fucking squid face.
Starting point is 01:16:15 Just give me the peg leg and like a gun that shoots a lot of smoke out when I shoot it. Like a powder rifle? Yeah. I'd be cool. Oh, man, I would love a musket right now. No, I don't think you would. Pack it up. Shatunk.
Starting point is 01:16:31 First of all, wildly inaccurate. Second of all. I'm not trying to kill anyone with it. I mean, if you're going to have a musket, the point, or like just as like a wall art, a piece of wall decoration. Just to fire that shit. I don't know. I mean, yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 01:16:45 That would be fun. Just a pack of fucking shing, shing. I'd rather have a real pirate's sword. Like the ones that are like curved, like Shakira. What's that called? Shakira. Like, it's like, it's got like Shakira. Like an hourglass.
Starting point is 01:17:00 You know what I'm talking about. It doesn't have an hour. It's one way. Yeah, but you know what I mean, though. What? I would like a sword like Shakira. Yeah. Well, like any sword that has like a bend in it,
Starting point is 01:17:15 you're going to tell me that's not cool. Like, what are they called? Sickle? Sabre. Cimitar? Cimitar. Yeah, like what they had in the mummy, where it's like that and then it's just like a hat circle.
Starting point is 01:17:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be cool. Kind of like that. I like when people light their swords on fire. I think it's Cimitar with an S, yeah. I got it. Oh. I didn't pronounce that.
Starting point is 01:17:38 That's not what I was thinking. Maybe sword? It's like the ones from Aladdin. Yeah, I don't know. That one, that one, that first one. Yeah. Yeah. That's the one.
Starting point is 01:17:48 Brother, that's terrifying. That's sick. Could you imagine seeing someone riding, running anything at you with that in hand? That's an Arabian sword. See, what was the sword that, like, used in the mummy where it was like a it was is it a sickle is that the one that i'm thinking i don't know it's not a sickle is it not that one no the guys the um fuck what are their names the guys that were on the horseback they were like protecting the tomb the magi the magi yes god how you know universal
Starting point is 01:18:21 the mummy oh yeah that's why he knows because of that's a great ride it is it it is i don't think i've ever been out it's kind of like that like the fourth one does that don't Yeah, kind of like that. Oh, I see what you're saying. Looks like one. Oh, a little more. What the hell is that? Dude, swords are fucking rad, dude.
Starting point is 01:18:39 Swords are cool. Oh, there it is. Oh, those things? This? Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Cool as hell. I will say it doesn't look like Shakira.
Starting point is 01:18:48 You know what I mean? That's the curvature to it. It was a joke. Like this way, kind of does. All right. Those are cool. That's a cool sword, dude. It doesn't look very effective.
Starting point is 01:19:02 Why not? What do you mean? Because I feel like it's just... I mean, not against someone with a gun. Yeah. You ever see Indiana Jones? I love Indiana Jones. He has not seen Indiana Jones.
Starting point is 01:19:11 I've never seen Indiana Jones. We've gone over this ant. Sorry. What's like the best one? Raiders of the Lost Army. First one? Yeah. And then the third one.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Ooh. Does it hold up or am I going to be like, bro? I have no idea. Redis of Lost Ark is incredible. It holds up forever. Because it's set in the 40s. So it's not like it's like... like the 80s where it's like this is kind of aged out.
Starting point is 01:19:34 Right, right. You know, it's set in the 40s. Or the 30s? It's before the Nazis? I think it's right before. It's the 30s. They're Nazis in the movie. That's why I'm...
Starting point is 01:19:44 No, I figured. I forgot about that. They find an arc. There's a book. I think there's a cool book in it, so... Love a good book. The Ark of the Covenant. Dude, just go home and watch it.
Starting point is 01:19:55 Like, you're being kind of like a prick at this point for not watching it. Oh. What have I done? Oh. Oh, I just haven't seen it. I know, but like you... You haven't seen stuff. Yeah, but like, at this point, we've talked about it enough that, like, just do it.
Starting point is 01:20:12 Yeah, that's not convincing. It's a great movie. It's a piece of American... I'll text Nicole and be like, get this guy to fucking watch Indiana Jones. You know what? That's... You know what, that's a better route. I'm sure you can convince Nicole to watch fucking... She might like it.
Starting point is 01:20:29 She may have seen it. I don't know. I guarantee she has seen Indiana Jones. She may have, I don't know. I'll watch one of these movies that you like that I've never seen, and then you watch a movie that I like that you've never seen. I don't even need you to do that. I want you to just watch what you want to watch. And I also don't even, I can't even think of a movie that would be like that.
Starting point is 01:20:44 Because I'm well-versed in movies. That is true. You have seen everything. That's not true. What have you not seen that's like a popular movie? Ooh. Recommend a book for him. He has to read.
Starting point is 01:20:55 You got a better chance of fucking hell freezing over. That's not really. That's not true. I'm reading right now. What are you reading? Comic books. And I'm reading a book on like Marvel stuff. But it's not comic books. It's a, I'm not getting into this.
Starting point is 01:21:17 Trying to think of a popular movie that I haven't seen that. People would just be like, what the hell? Is there one that you have? I don't think so. You're also like a huge movie guy. Yeah, like I've seen movies. Keith's seen everything too. Keith is one of those people that I think legitimate.
Starting point is 01:21:31 has seen most of what has come out. He literally will be like, yo, you got to watch this movie. And it's just like, I have never heard of anyone in it. I still haven't watched Oppenheimer. Me neither.
Starting point is 01:21:41 I haven't seen Barbie. Ooh, I watched Barbie. I liked it. I enjoyed it. I haven't seen a lot of popular ones. I haven't seen either of those. I thought we were talking a little more
Starting point is 01:21:48 like Indiana Jones era. Well, yeah, I am. I'm thinking of like, if you haven't seen like Wizard of Oz or the Sandlot. Oh, I've seen Wizard of Oz. I've seen it. I mean, you're just going to go over.
Starting point is 01:21:57 Have you seen the sound of music? Yes. I saw it too. It's whatever, I don't care. It's, I've not seen Citizen Kane. No, these are too old. I didn't mean that. I've seen Citizen Kane, actually.
Starting point is 01:22:07 It's too... That's one of those things that, like, it's like, you gotta go most popular movie, because if you go, like, best movies of all time, like, no, I haven't seen this, like French New Wave movie from 1960. I don't like this. Shawshank, duh. Have you seen any James Bond movies?
Starting point is 01:22:23 Yeah, but I don't remember which ones. I haven't seen the newer ones. I started watching... Hold on. Go back to the top. Let's see. Which is the first one. we haven't seen. Okay.
Starting point is 01:22:31 I've seen all these. I've seen. Schindler's list I haven't seen it a long time. I don't know what that is, but that one's too old. 12 Angry Man I've seen. That sounds familiar, but I may be confusing with something else. Good, the bad, and the ugly I've not seen.
Starting point is 01:22:43 That's Clint Eastwood, right? Yeah, those like spaghetti westerns. I've never seen those. I've seen it, but not like in its entirety. Or if I have, I cannot remember it. Damn, I've seen a lot of these, not I think about it. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:22:53 Yeah, they're the most popular movies for a reason. Seven. It's a Wonderful Life Sounds of the Lamb's, saving Private Ryan. I've never seen the samurai movie I've never seen seven samurai but I want to watch it I also didn't see until like three years ago
Starting point is 01:23:05 That's a that's an intense movie Yeah That's one of those that like Oh we're getting into ones I have not seen Life is beautiful no idea City of God no idea what that is I don't think I've seen City of God This is bad back to the future
Starting point is 01:23:18 Haven't seen any of them That's a you can You can watch the first and the second The third you can Haven't seen any of them Third one's Cowboys That's cool. Kill Bill
Starting point is 01:23:25 Love Kill Bill I've seen it I haven't seen that spirited away no that's anime second one oh that no so that's a whole bloody affair
Starting point is 01:23:34 they they re-released it last year and like they made the two movies into one oh yeah it's the whole thing kill bill one and two are fucking incredible parasite is so good
Starting point is 01:23:46 I just watched it again recently I've not seen the pianist me neither I'm not into shit like that is that a brodie yeah yeah no I'm not into it I've also not seen the the uh brutalist
Starting point is 01:23:58 what's him and winning for ist movies yeah he loves ist never seen whiplash american history x i watched that recently it's fucking crazy yeah you would like uh whiplash it's it's it's fun it's just fucking it's just fucking j k simmons scrably feeding the shit out of miles tell hell yeah nothing i love more than across the spiderverse and uh into the spiderverse are two of my favorite movies jango unbelievable movie usual suspects good, a little yikes, but good. Oh, you ever see Alien? Have I seen Alien? I'm always really good.
Starting point is 01:24:35 Alien and aliens are really good. I haven't seen three or resurrection. There's 15 of those. No, there's not that many. No? Well, there's a lot of aliens. You can watch them in a weekend. There's alien, aliens, alien three. Resurrection. If you count the Alien versus Predator, and then there's like Prometheus. Wally's up here at 57? What a fucking great movie. I just watched that recently for the first. It's good. Really?
Starting point is 01:25:00 Yeah. First time I've ever seen it. Oh man, I love it. So like, and like... That shit got me pissed off though. At humans? Just like, whoever was fucking with Wally was pissing me off. It was making me very sad.
Starting point is 01:25:13 Rades of Lost Arc, there you go. Number 62. I haven't seen the new Dune movies. Dune Part 1 and Part 2. Oh! I saw one. I just... And it's very sandy.
Starting point is 01:25:27 Yeah. Too sandy for me. It's very sandy. It's very sci-fi-y. Oh, for sure. Glorious Bastards. It could be my favorite movie. A lot of modern sci-fi is built off of Dune and those original books.
Starting point is 01:25:41 Wow. That makes sense. I mean, it's like sandy planets. Before like everything, Star Wars. Literally like the same, they call it in Dune Spice, and then they call the same thing in Star Wars Spice. Like, it's like the drug. Have you ever seen The Shining? Yeah, it's great.
Starting point is 01:25:57 I've seen it in Mad Times. The Great Dictator. I actually watched that. You watched The Great Dictator? Yeah, dude. When the fuck did you watch the Great? I saw a clip of it once, and then I saw that they had it on HBO, so I was like, I'm going to watch it. Coco?
Starting point is 01:26:10 Holy fuck. Great movie. Goodwill Hunting. Have fucking beat that movie up in the last four years. Toy Story. I mean, I've seen that more than I can admit. Braveheart, low-key. I might have seen Braveheart because of my dad.
Starting point is 01:26:24 I'm not kidding. That generation loves Braith. Brother, my dad has. had the two VHS thing and played that movie a lot. I remember being young and being like, are they showing their dicks? Oh, and at the end. And they were.
Starting point is 01:26:40 They were showing their cocks. This and the Patriot. That is such a your dad movie. The Patriot, I think, was, I can't remember it, but I remember watching it and being like, oh, God, that was cool. Every family has that one, like, dad movie that they watched way too early. Mine was Independence. Not Independence Day.
Starting point is 01:26:58 Armageddon. No, no, no. Deep impact. Mine was full metal jacket. I saw that as like an eight-year-old. And I was just like, huh, oh, huh. I was watching that, and my mom was in the room, and then when I did blew his head off, she was like, this is done. Yeah, I mean, and then it gets all so bad after that when they go to Vietnam.
Starting point is 01:27:22 Yeah, it's not great. Yeah. All right. Joker, Toy Story 3 might be the best Toy Story of the morning. Lato Huggin' Bear I don't know what that is Lottes Oh I was about to
Starting point is 01:27:34 Now we're getting See like we're getting like Lawrence of Arabia The apartment Yeah but then we're back though It's like heat scarface It's good Scarface is good Reservoir Dog's good
Starting point is 01:27:43 Do that one That shit told me to shreds bro There's like a lot of those old Billy Wilder movies Like double indemnity and stuff That I haven't seen Just because I'm like it's not my job
Starting point is 01:27:54 To watch stuff like that And know it You know like Yeah I could see like people being like, well, I'm a movie reviewer for a living, so I need to have seen Amelie. Yeah. Well, Clockwork Orange.
Starting point is 01:28:07 You've seen that. Of course. Fair enough. There we go, folks. I mean, that is all we have for today's episode. I don't know. We just went through a movie list for the last 10 minutes. I don't know why.
Starting point is 01:28:18 But it's this episode. We go crazy. We started with me respectfully getting pissed on, and then now we're ending with movies. It's never ending. Never. Where can they find you, Frank? The Frank Alvers all over social media and at the basement yard all over social media
Starting point is 01:28:34 And like we said earlier, if you're coming to any of the shows Thebasemanyard.com slash submit, send in your pictures, let us know We're really excited to get back after it And then patreon.com slash the basement vineyard. Ant? You find me at Aunt Prisco on Instagram. You guys can follow me at Joe Sanagato. You can follow the show on TikTok and Instagram at the base yard And that is all.
Starting point is 01:28:50 See you guys next time.

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