The Basement Yard - #570 - Calling The Bomb Squad

Episode Date: August 31, 2026

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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. I was in mid. Something was happening. There was a lot of air in your chest. I feel like you're going to pass out. Honestly, it sometimes few. Whoa.

Almost. That was close. That was as closest as I've gotten. Closes. It's just as close as I've gotten to throwing up on here. I had food before. I ate a lot of edamame. You're big on that, aren't you?

Aren't you a big bitch on enamel? Who the fuck doesn't? I love things that come in a little pod. It's fucking, and I get to like shoot it into my mouth. You know what I like when you get to discard food? Like a wing, you're like, get to fuck this wing. Get the fuck the, fuck this wing. Fuck the bone.

Oh, I love... And then the pod, you're like, fuck the pod. Fuck the pod. Fuck the peanut. Fuck the bone. The peanut. Oh my god. What I mean peanuts? It's everywhere.

I'm letting you know right now if you, like sunflower seeds. That's why I love sunflower seeds. Because part of it is just fucking spitting that shit. You like to spit. You're a fucking sailor. Oh, well, don't say that because apparently, you know, that's not, not a good thing. I don't know, but I love

I can't do nothing no more. That's a lovely hat by the way. Not merch. Just cut off of me talking about something is merch. Someone else's merch. Wow, finally for one you're not wearing piggy boy merch. Finally. Baseman, y'all. Finally, you're wearing the right fucking merch. There is new merch available right now at santagadoos studios.com. You can buy this lovely shirt there. Obviously

it says Santa Gaga Studios on the back. Look at that. And what? Oh my God. Your desk almost went down. You almost went down. What's that? There's a design tent. Was that like a rugby sweater, I think they call it or something like that? I don't know, but it feels very nice.

Look at this one. Look at that, cute. For the regulars. For the regulars. You think it's nice and cute. Look at that pop a color, bitch. Look at that. Oh, look. And those lovely hats that they have on.

Oh my god, I love that. I have a little magic bag. You do have a little magic bag. What's in it? More stuff. More stuff is in it. Look at this. Look at this.

This. Show us the back now. Wow. It's like the SNL script and stuff like that. Like you're an exclusive club, but the club is merch. It reminds me of Toy Story. Oh, like Jesse's like the lettering on like, you know, Woody's Roundup and Jesse, you know. Also, before we move any further, also just wanted everyone know that obviously you can tell by looking at me that the AC is out. Right.

So I'm dying of a thirst. Frank, you want to do me a favor, actually? You're thirsty? Well, give me... Oh, the fan, fan you up? Fan you up? Yeah, just because I need a little fanny. Ooh, that's crazy.

How did that become to be a fanny as a butt? How is that possible? I don't know. That kind of sucks as a name. I'll be honest with you. A name? For an ass. Fanny.

Oh, yeah. You want me to blow you from here? I swear to God, that's crazy. I'm so sorry, dude. You want to blow me from there? I'm so sorry. It's also with my face. Well, if anyone's gonna be doing the job here, it's gonna be you. Let's be honest. I'm ready for anything

What the hell was that I'm kidding? It's hot in here. You're gonna need it. You're gonna need it especially because the merch is heating up Baby. The merch is so hot on the off the press on the press. I think it's off the press. How did you get one and I don't? Where the fuck is my shit? Someone someone broke my other face. I think that was me and now now I feel bad. Please please don't. Yeah, I could try. You want to try? If you If you can toss that and get it in my hand right here, you're a magician. I look how that's the payoff. It went two inches, went nowhere. That's not very aerodynamic.

That's my bad. You guys do you. You're doing great. These are good. You know how... It matches your shirt that you're wearing perfectly, which by the way... It's a really cool color. It's not bad.

That's a cool green. It's a good color. Where'd you get that? Old Navy. Really? Hell yeah, bitch. Wow. I mean, I'm a fucking...

Old Navy's got some good shit. Free plug for fucking Old Navy. Yeah. We talked about a color similar to that on the Patreon. Patreon. slash the basement yard. Oh. We're just plug it.

We're just plugging it. Everyone else got anything. Everyone got to get plugged. Picky boys. The new merch at Sanagato Studios. I'm getting blown from here. I love how you're saying. No, that's right.

We're not allowed to because we're in a longstanding feud with the piggy boys. The other show. Don't think I forgot that. You guys can't, don't even have the respect to say our name. Okay. Say my name like Heisenberg. You're damn right.

Okay. Oh, Breaking Bad. Yeah. You don't remember that where he's just like, say, my name. He's like, you're horny. You're Heisenberg. You're goddamn right.

You're saying it with a smile and you're making it horny. Really? Because this is a show about drugs. I shan't be horny. Watch this. Go. You're Heisenberg. Oh, no. See, I back. Now I fucked up. You're too horny to think. Say my name.

That's a little horny still, I think. Really? I think so. Still horny. Do a voice. I think it's just the line is horny. You know what I mean? It is a bit of a sexual. I don't think that you're necessarily the... I mean, you look at the undertones of rising to the top of a criminal empire. There's some sex and power involved in that.

You know what I mean? For sure. Say my name. You're Heisenberg. You're goddamn right. Less horny. You're doing a gruff, though. This is...

What's a gruff? This is Billy Cranston. Listen to me. It's the Power Ranger. This is Brian Cranston. Billy Cranston is a Power Ranger? Yeah. He was named after Brian Cranston.

because Brian Cranston originally did work on Mighty Morphinger Power Rangers. Frank, it's like you think I'm an idiot. You think that I'm going to believe that? You think that's a lie? Yes. No, he did like the voice for some of the original monsters and the original Mighty Morphingen Power Rangers. Brian Cranston.

Yes. And who was named after him? One of the characters, Billy Cranston, the Blue Ranger, the nerd. Oh, my God. I get, you know, like. I don't even know what any of their... Played by David Yost, who liked my post on Instagram one day. You were super hype.

Riding high, brother. David Yost? Yeah. That's the actor's name. Right. Everyone's getting a free plug. Who do you want to plug this episode? Would looking that up help or hurt your argument?

Is it true? I think he's calling me a... I am calling him a liar. He's calling me a liar. I thought that he was pulling prank on me. What? Let me ask you, I do love pranks. Exactly why I assumed.

But what would that prank do for me? A gotcha? What does any of your pranks do for any person? Some of them, during the first season, a Mighty Morphan Power Rangers, Brian Cranston worked as a voice actor dubbing English lines for Japanese monster. Oh, so there was a Japanese monster, but they were like, we need a... Well, all the...

The guy's name was Snizzard? Snizzard? I think it's the lizard. The snizzard? I think it's the lizard one. I think I had the, he was like a big green lizard and I had his, uh, his toy. Yep. That's snizzard?

Bro, that looks fire. Or maybe that's not. Dude, some of these, I'm telling you right. Japan knows how to do it. I mean, listen, Brian Cranston, Hollywood legend at this point in time. But all those original Power Rangers shows were Japanese. They were Japanese. I didn't have this toy.

They were Japanese. And then they just dubbed over them. But they like try their best to like get the lines to work. That's why like the reader repulsa when they're on the moon, you can kind of tell she's not speaking English. You know, but yeah. Brian Cranston and then they named a character after him. I mean, you're the boy who cried wolf. That's why you say something like that.

And I'm like, I used... I am not crying wolf. I am crying Brian Cranston. You've already cried wolf, is my point. I'm not cried wolf. I've done pranks. Well, this is the crying of the wolf. And then the other pranks that I've done

have been just like gotcha pranks with like, you know, nuts and stuff like that. Right, yeah. You know, like you're, you know, you imagine... You ought to see these nuts. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Those are the ones that I've done. People send me those all the time now.

They're like, yo, get them with this. Yeah, I know. And I'm like, we're over it, I think. It's not even that. It's like, once you send it. I'm assuming someone's sending it to me, you guys are getting it too. I've gotten maybe one or two that I've seen. Really?

I have not seen many. We got the Odyssey one, obviously. Yeah, the Odyssey one's tough. Odyssey, my nuts or something like that. You ought to see these balls in your fucking eye sockets. Okay, that one, that's not bad. With my wiener down your nose. I really try sometimes, I really try sometimes to come up with, like, really unique ones.

But I, like, it's harder than you think. I want to, and I sit there and I go, let me think. And then I come up with nothing in a minute and I'm like, I'm over. I'm like, I can't think of anything now. I'm just like, how am I going to use my time well? And I'm going to sit here and try to figure out how to get my friends to say a word so I could say they're sucking on my nuts. Right, exactly. You know, productive.

Yeah. And the payoff, unfortunately, is not that grand. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, well placed vastly disagree. A really well placed got them. I mean, I have seen the, the, uh, the clips on TikTok of you getting me. I don't I I didn't I wasn't there when your children were born but I imagine it looked similar till how excited you get when you're like and you're just so hype that you get to tell me that my balls are any see these nuts to your face so you can see these nuts um I think anything that

you can kind of put you know effort into that just like works out makes you excited it doesn't really matter what it is. Sometimes it could be a prank. Sometimes it could be anything else that you put effort into or something like that. You know, like a hard, you know, like a school project. Like you're excited, you know, and it's like I can't wait until I could show this off. I was so pumped to show off to telling you to see these nuts. You con suck on these nuts. You con suck on these nuts. Yeah. When a plan comes together, there's nothing better, I guess. I mean, is there truly? The one I think I'm most proud of is Wickew. Doug Wichaw. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that at all.

It's why I cough on these nuts and you could suck them. The payoff doesn't really make sense. It doesn't matter. Why would you cough on my nuts? You could just suck them. Yeah. Who was coughing on your nuts? I don't know what quite happened there.

Me neither. The tongue was working there a little bit. Bro, speaking of nuts, you just can't say that. I watched it. You can't say that about. for the audio only listeners. He's speaking about nuts. We are?

We're talking nuts. Well, I was going to say, speaking of nuts, did you get it? Nope. Because there's a fly in here, too, that I'm going to decapitate it. If it falls,

no, I saw it. Oh, fuck, I thought I had it. I was going to say, pass it over to me, and I'm literally going to eat it. If I catch this with my hand. Damn it. Would you?

What if I gave you some money? True, true story. I did that once, and it was one of the most sick, like, experience that I've ever had in my life. You ate a fly? rad.

got sick. Oh, not like a Hawaii sick? Yeah, not like a, not like a not like a Lord's a dog town sick. Right. Just like a violently. Yes. Like it was, you ate a fly? Yeah, I caught. Same situation. I caught it and I was dared to eat it. Yeah. And I did. And I had gotten like the worst like sickness. It was a sinus infection, but I imagine that the timing was the timing was suspicious. How would it? I don't know, dude. I guess I guess if it had something in its blood. The timing was awfully suspicious. Yeah. And, uh, Remember when I, like, I needed that, like, big inhaler? Yeah. It was an inhaler and it had, like, a fucking hyperbaric chamber on the end of it. It literally looked like an iron lung. You know what I mean?

It was bad. What? Frankie, why do you need that inhaler? Oh, I ate a fly. Well, I didn't. That's not what he was saying at the time. I remember he pulled it out and it was like multicolored. And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

I thought it was a toy. He thought I was doing another print of Brian Cranston Snizzard prank. Yeah, exactly. I thought that he was snizzing. And then he, like, just pressed this button. And then it's super, it looked like a super asthma pump. It was like, you pressed it and you saw the medicine go in the pump. And then I inhaled it.

And it was like, you know in like movies or TV when they like reverse a shot of smoke? Yeah. And it like goes in like real quick. That's what it was like. Yeah. It was fucking super intense. Have you ever growing up took someone's asthma pump and just went, yeah, like breathe?

Breathe like, like yeah. Asthma pump's still a thing. Are they around? Big. Big team. Big tits? What'd you say? Big teets.

I don't know where I was going with that. Big teets. Are they still like around? Yeah, they're still big tits, Frank. Yeah. That's not what I was asking. What about the nebulizer? Did you guys ever do the nebulizer?

Is that the thing that you were referring to? No, no, no, no. It was like a machine, a big machine that we had at home. It looked like a typewriter. And it had a mouthpiece on it. And for like 20 minutes, like every couple days, we would have to sit there with the thing, like a hose in our mouth and breathe.

We? Myself and my brothers. Why? Maybe just me, but I remember I definitely did it. You were all sick? I don't think we were sick. I think it was like for like a childhood asthma thing. Oh, no.

I never did that. You never heard of that either? I know the nebulized. Bro, it was like, I don't know how else to explain it outside of it. Is it preventative or you had asthma? I don't know what the fuck it was. Clearly. What?

You thought that it was just like, but did you think at the time it was preventative? I mean, I just remember at the time being pissed because. because I smelled, you know that like, the, like, the, like, medicine-y-vapery smell. And the thing was loud, too. Because it was, like, taking medicine

and, like, putting it in, like, mist form. And I was breathing it in. Oh, maybe you guys were, maybe you guys all had, like, a sinus infection together or something. No, I did it for a while. I think it was, like, a childhood asthma thing. What's a while? Like, you did it for, like, a year?

I remember it happening periodically. Put it like that. Not, like, for, like, you're sick. You need this for a month. You would just always be doing it. There was like several times. So like four times a year you just break this thing out. I mean, maybe more, honestly.

I don't really remember. Neb, you, Lyser. What the fuck? 90s. How many flies were you eating? I wasn't eating that many. Yeah, dude. That's what it is?

That middle one. Yo, that's what I remember. This? Yeah. Wow. And I would sit there and just fucking breathe. Well, clearly that's medicine. Yes.

I mean, it was abundantly clear that it was medicine. The OG Vien. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think that was a vape. Maybe it is more, what's it called, than I, because I don't know what that is. I never had it. Devibris, pulmo aid compressor.

Asthma and lung conditions. So maybe you guys just had something. I mean, I think we, I'm pretty sure I had childhood asthma, and then I, like, grew out of it because I was like, yeah, right. Right. You said to your lungs, fucking man up, bitch. It's time to grow up. Just fucking figure this shit out.

Do the one job you have. Yeah, exactly. All you got to do is breathe. You know, just that's it. That's all. But that's it. You guys never had to do anything like that? No.

Wow. I've taken some hits of a asthma inhaler thing. I've done that too. And then afterwards I convinced myself that like I should not have done that. I mean, if anything, it would only help. I was scared. I also thought that like steroids were just steroids. So when someone was like, oh, I have a steroid in this,

I thought that I would hit someone asthma pump and be like, you'll go to the gym. I mean, I think there is a way that you're right. Yeah, but I think it's just four. your lungs. It's not like it's like in your like you know what I mean? I think it I think the steroids like because I've been on prednisone a couple times which is a pretty strong steroid and I think it just like

amplifies whatever your body is doing so like if you're taking a steroid and you're taking you know let's say a medicine for fucking you know anything it just amplifies its ability to do that you get that bitch you get that son of a bitch you come here me

you fucking bitch you fucking oh you I think I You get it? No, but that was the most embarrassed thing. It's like grabbing an invisible ladder. Yeah, like you were trying to climb that. You try to climb that fly. Yo, we're going to get it by the end of this fucking episode.

I went two-handed after that thing. That's crazy. I'm going to slap the shit out of it later. Have you ever been on a steroid, whether it be a steroid cream? Oh, your fucking eye when your eye was all googlyly last year. I did. Yeah, I had a steroid in my eye. It helped, but like it took a while.

Did you get like supervision? No. It was for, it's what you're describing. It's like it's supposed to help whatever. They also said there was multiple, there was different levels of the steroid that you can get. They didn't give me like the biggest one because they were worried about like my high pressure or something. I would, I've taken prednisone a random, you know, not at random times,

but for different things during the last like 15 years. And I remember I would sweat profusely. to the point like I would be sitting here and I would be like dripping sweat. Yeah. And I think it just like makes, it just like amplifies everything. Your heart rate just starts going maybe. Bro, I was having I think I told you this. I was having like super existential crises.

Like I was like disassociating for like a whole drive. And then I'd show up at the studio and I'd be like, how did I get here? You know what I have? I don't know if this is like a super common thing. But when I drive long distances, I really have to lock in, especially at night. You get highway hypnosis? Yeah, like I don't remember it.

Like, I get there and like I feel like in the moment I'm aware and conscious, but I'm just like out of it. There are times I've driven and just be like, holy shit, I was just driving. You know what I mean? Like, how did I just drive that and not crash? Because I just forget that I'm going. Yeah, that's kind of what I'm describing is like my,

especially if I'm by myself and I'm not talking to someone, I'm kind of just zoned out and then I get there and I'm like I don't even do the time passed but we should get a hypnotist on this show we should do an episode I don't think either of us are like why not because I

don't think either of us are like open to it enough like we're like very skeptic I'm speaking for you but like you know you know me well enough to be to speak for me in that regard but I feel like you like you have to like really submit to that but I find it

hard to believe that it's like, someone's going to come, what the hell was that? Because you were moving like a cheetah. It's back. Walk around and find out, you fucking bitch. I could just tell Frankie was like, oh, I have to submit to a hypnotist. No, no, no. Yeah. No, but like if they were, if they, because I, I am skeptic.

You are correct. But that's one of those things where it's just like, do your best. Give me a skeptic, give me a hypnotist on steroids. And like, let's see if they can really fucking do it. and if they can get me to like bark like a dog or some shit. Yeah, if someone, if I saw a video of a guy walking up to me and just just, and sleep and I just slept, I'd be like, all right. No, no, no, I understand.

Like, that's one of those things. Like, even when we had ozone, when I saw him do it with other people, I was like, I don't know. I didn't do it with us. And I was like, what the fuck is going on? Like, that's one of those situations where like, I would need to experience it. I just can't. I've seen a hypnotist, I think, once in my life. You saw one?

Like, in person, I wasn't hypnotized. Oh, okay. It was at, it was my, like, the day I moved into my college, like, first year for, like, freshman orientation. They had, like, you know, different activities and shit, blah, blah, blah. And there was a hypnotist on stage, and he was doing that shit. And he was just like, and three, and two, and what? And sleep. And, like, putting people to sleep.

And then he, like, it was kind of weird that I think about it. He was, like, to one girl, he was like, I remember she was wearing, like, a cardigan. And she had, like, a spaghetti strap shirt under. and she was uh and it was something along the lines of like when you wake up you're going to be a model and you're going to think you're on the runway you're going to think you're on the one way you're going to be a model like everything here everyone here is paparazzi you're going to but and like he goes and up and she got up and like walked it and like took her cardigan off and i was just like this seems nefarious well yeah also let's just say in the hypothetical this is something that

happens to me that like in like it actually happens real yeah if I get wind that a hypnotist put me to sleep, and then he woke me up, and now I'm acting like a chicken in front of the school, I'm fucking you up. Really? You're not about to make me the chicken man around here. Brother, it's a chicken better than you fucking wake up

and you're missing a shirt. Yeah, but whatever it is. Like, bro, you're not going to make up. You're going to be a chicken. You're going to be gock. I'll be like, bro, I'm fucking you up. You're not making me chicken man around these parts. I mean, I think I would do, I would do chicken, I would do dog, I wouldn't do cat.

Because cat is like, you have to, there's of course a hierarchy. But what is the difference in a cat and a dog? Well, dogs got a, oh, right, right. And a cat, I'd have to be like, like, like, licking myself and shit like that. Cough up a hairball. Yeah, like, there's like, like, like cats have like a little bit more of like, sass. A sex appeal to them.

And you don't want that. Not to act like that at the age of 18 in front of my new college This is my point You know what I mean? Like I'm fucking like that would be like All right you're a cat and I'm just like Yeah and like then you just go the next four years As like you're everyone's calling you kitty

There's pussy boy Yeah there's pussy There's big pussy boy right there And I'm just RIP big pussy Damn That's just died That is crazy Yeah big pussy's dead

That was my boy too Pussy's up though Is it? Is it? My dad, I saw him over the weekend. And he goes, Hold on. Just, just, just.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. He goes, he goes, I heard joke that you could use for your fucking life shows. Did he say fucking?

Yes. Lovely. And I'm like, okay. And he goes, uh, you could say you have bad luck. I'm like, all right. And he goes, and you can say, my luck is so bad if it was raining pussy I'd get hit in a face by a dick I swear to God

I was like Dad just bring me on a boat ride like I don't need all this right now My luck is so bad if it was raining pussy I'd get hit by a dick And then the crowd would go nothing The crowd would be like why did he say that? That's what I said to him I said to him I was like Dad no one would care for that joke Yeah not a single single person

This would play well with Joey's dad and that's it. Literally. He also did one of those things where we got to talking about AI somehow. And he's like, and you know what? I hate to say it, but it's probably a faulted at Chinese. I was like, yeah, you look real torn up to fucking say this. I was like, you look really torn up to say this, dad. He blamed all of AI on China.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, you know. My dad also texted me this past weekend. Unfortunately, I'm not going to say what he said. Also, Charlie, I think, almost ate the fly just now. That was insane. I saw him snapping at it over there. Yeah, he's snapping at it.

Oh, my God. Now you're fucking with my dog? Honestly, I think whoever gets it, the other two in the room owes them like... Five bucks. A little friendly wage. I was going to say they get 100 bucks. Oh, yeah. All right.

50 bucks a person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If we get... Get up and just start swatting that shit. If you get it. If you get it really put it down, you get $50 each. I just keep releasing. flies. I saw it too. I just saw it too. We can't be too

distracted. No, you're right. You're right. You have to at least try to do an episode while this is going on. Yeah, we'll figure it out, but we're going to try and make it happen, but it will pop up. But yeah, so I mean, at least I was, you can't even give us a hint as to what your dad was saying. I could. I'm not gonna. It was just like he was asking me questions about our live shows and then hard transitioned into a joke that I wouldn't tell. Not that he was telling me. needed to he was just telling me a joke oh got you got he was like by the way then inserted this joke and i was like what do you expect me yeah what do i don't know where i would put that i don't know

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Oops, seven days and the episode is yours. Then that second tier, well, that's where you get episodes new, exclusive, just for the patron's eyes only episodes. Every single. Friday. So you can sign up for Patreon today if you've never been a patron and go back and watch hundreds of hours of basement yard, which is there for your liking. And it's beautiful and it's fun. We want to thank you guys. You have gotten us to over 53,000 patrons, which is crazy. We are climbing our way to the top of the Patreon leaderboards and it is all because of you. So thank you so much. We are very much so appreciative. $100. He got it. He got it. He got it. He got it. I got it. Damn it. He got it? You only had to sacrifice your computer.

Oh, I do that bitch is dead. I killed an animal. Got to send him. That bitch is so dead. Did I see another one? I thought I just saw another one, honestly. This one's disgusting, though. I guess I could stop releasing them now.

Yeah, well, Joey just got it. So we owe him $100 bucks. And also, you can go over to patreon.com slash the baseman yard. It's okay. So if you want to do it, go check it out at patreon.com slash the base vineyard and sign up on a web browser. if you use a smart app, it's going to charge you a couple extra bucks. So patreon.com slash the basement yard. And as we had said earlier, look at these new merch hats and shirts.

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But sandagado studios.com. Now, if you get some of this merch and it comes in time for the new shows that you can wear it to these shows. That's right. We're back on the road. We're back doing live shows. We got some shows coming up in just a couple weeks and we're really, really excited. If you're coming to any of those shows, just like those first two tours where we had to be interactive with the stories you submitted about the cards, kind of similar. But guess what? We're doing it with pictures this time. So go over to the basement yard.com slash submit and you could submit a picture from your camera roll and you can add some context. You can tell us what show you're coming to.

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Fucking Fly Killer McGee. He got it, man. $100, baby. I was going for like a I was gonna trap it. You were gonna like be it still and then hold it. Bro, aren't fucking Venus flytraps the fucking coolest?

I used to have one in my house. We had one a couple years ago. And they used to let it hold my finger. You would like finger a Venus flytrap? I'd lay my finger in there and be like, nope, it doesn't hurt us because it's so little. Yeah.

But like, bro, these things can get big too. Like they'll fucking, they'll, there's other like meat eating plants also. Like, you know the Pokemon Victory Bell? Yeah. That's a legit fucking thing that catches bugs and eats them Look up look it up bug Bug catching plants

Look up victory bell real Victory Bell in the wild Yeah dude look at that right here yeah dude look at that fucking little bitch What am I looking at it? It's like a pocket and they go in an actual part of the plant? Yeah They go in that little sack They go in that sack and in the sack is just like You're not getting out. Wait, that's actually part of the plant.

Yeah. Carnivorous pitcher plant. Holy shit. That's what Victory Bell, the Pokemon, is based off of. I mean, that's... Because it looks like him, right? Kind of. It has a little lid and everything.

It looks like a toilet. I don't think the lid does anything. I think the leaves are just there for like little like flirtiness. By the way, did you hear about... There was a... There was this thing in like DC where there was a suspicious package. So like everyone's like freaking out. Oh, yeah.

I saw this. And then it had like exposed wires. Yo, personally, if I'm on the street and I see something like that, I'm terrified. Brother, I am running the opposite way. Yeah, like if I... I'm not fucking with it. I'm not. I would probably...

I don't know if I would call the cops because I would think that I would... I'm like, oh, I'm just nuts. Like, it's not anything. But exposed wire and a random thing, I'm like, yo. Oh, I'd rather call the cops and it be nothing than not call and it is something. Yeah, I agree. You know? Then I would probably feel really bad.

But it's one of those situations where, like, the, like, I think I see what you're saying, where it's like, if it is something, but they, like, want to cover it up. So they're just like Joe Sanagato called. We got to take them out. Oh, I'm not thinking about that. Oh. You're thinking, what am I? Jason Bourne and they're going to kill me?

I don't know. But if they, like, need to cover it up and they need to cover the evidence that there was this box. Hold on, going to get to this. Have you ever seen the video of the dude on the beach? There's two guys on a beach, right? Mm-hmm. And there's this giant. It kind of looks like a missile.

And there was another guy who came up with his phone. And one of them's got a computer and he's like, come on, man, don't do that. And he's like, what? It's a public beach. I could film it. And he goes like, stop. You're going to get me in trouble. So you were looking up videos of guys missiles on beaches?

Did you hear what I said? I support you fully, by the way. Doing what? If that's what your search history includes. Guys missiles on beaches? Ant, can you find this video? I've been trying. Missile.

Guys rocket on beach. beach. Don't change the name. Two guys on beach. One of them has a rocket. The other one's saying, let's look at it. Put it. One of them, I feel like if you were in that situation,

you would shit your pants. Brother. Yeah. I mean, first of all, I would, I would, like, look around to think, like, am I getting pranked? Because that's some, like, fucking pranked, like, punked shit. You know what I mean? They made it seem like it was, like, a government thing that they're no one's supposed to know about.

And this guy's walking out what a stuff. cell phone. If that's the case, how could someone on a beach just walk up? I think it washed up by accident. There would be like more like intervention. See this shit. There would be like more intervention and the guy would just be like... See, look at that. What the fuck is that? Just like Dan? The public beach, dude. The public beach! I understand it's a public beach and I can't stop you but now I have to explain to my boss. Honestly, let me ask you a question. That's a that's not a missile. That's like a submarine. I don't know what that is. If you see that on a beach. Yeah. And the guy asks you

please don't record. Yeah. I'm not fucking recording, dude. I'm not getting neared. I'm going to think it's an explosive. Brother, I am not. Well, the guy was near it. So, like, the chances are that if he feels safe to be near it, it's okay.

But, like, the guy's asking like, hey, man, don't record this. I'd be like, yes, sir. No problem. Suspicious guy with a laptop on a beach fully clothed? Yeah. Yeah, he's got his laptop out too. He's, like, connecting to the thing. I'm good.

This is, you would be that guy. You would. No, sir. I am here. This is going to be great. It wouldn't be that intense. but I like, it's going to be a good clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

The internet's going to love, get a kick out of this. Yeah, I don't know. The despair in his voice of, come on, man, that would probably get me. But also he has a laptop and plaid. I'm like, all right, we're at the beach. Come on, man, I'm going to have to explain this to my boss. Yeah, I'm like, he's already in trouble. The thing washed up on the shore.

Brother, in that situation, I'm just like, you know what? You're right. I don't understand, like, in that situation. And I get it. People are just like, we need to, like, you know, make sure, like, we see you the government's trying to hide and shit like that. I can only imagine the conspiracy theories that came out of that.

Guy's just trying to do his job. One of his little drones, water drones, washes up on the beach. Now some guy's going to send it to his boss. He's like, come on. I get it. If that's my job to, like, use that thing, let's say it's used for, like,

sonar mapping of, like, the ocean floor or something like that. If it washes up on the beach, why am I in trouble? I have no idea. I don't have an answer. Well, that's the thing. It's kind of like, why are you going to get in trouble?

I'm just looking at. Who cares? Yeah. Just like, what am I going to look at? I'm taking a look. If anything, if that guy with the laptop, he can program that thing to grow legs and fucking come rip my head off. Hmm. Hmm.

The way your mind works sometimes is interesting. Do you like it? I do think that, like, I do think that you would panic. Like, I mean, in the way that you just did of being like, you would go home that day and be like, we weren't supposed to see that. Well, no. And then you'd be like looking out the window. If I'll be really honest. If I was alone, I'd be a little more curious.

If I'm with Becca and the kids, I'm like, this is like, you guys stay back. We don't know what this is. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a little more inclined to be protective of them. But would you think that because you saw it, they're coming for you? Yes. Yes, 100%. Frankie saw a-

Frankie saw a van on the streets. It's all over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, dude, I am fully becoming that person where there's just a random car parked on the street. If it's there for more than like three days, the cops are getting called. I mean, who? The cops. Are you going to go over and like, look? I mean, I'm not saying like the cops are getting called, get them in trouble, but just like, hey, there's just a random car that is out of place parked on the street. I don't think that's outrageous. Because you, there's not a lot of,

like you're in a suburban area. Yeah. So a random, like a van, like a white van. Bro, if there's just a car. Probably. I mean, it would depend on the, the type of, van or car that it was. What does that mean? Like if it was like a broken down white van, I'd be like, what's going on here? Right. If it was...

What if it was just like a Toyota Camry? I mean, it would probably be the same reaction, but after a couple extra days. Right. You know? And simply because I'd just be like, oh, that's just abnormal. Like, I don't know whose car that is.

Is that anyone's car here? No. Yeah, I don't think that's crazy. Is that nuts? It was a white van in front of my house for like a week and a half. We called. Nothing was done about it. Yeah.

Eventually they showed up and moved it. Well, dude, when I used to work for Target, there were, like, when we would close the store, we would close the store and we would have to do like a patrol around the building. So like I literally would lock the store, arm the security system, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I would get in my car and I would drive around the building. And there were times where there were, because, like, some, Some states and some stores allow people to like camp overnight in their parking lots. Like I think Walmart's like that, maybe some more of like the like sporting good stores like Dix or fucking, you know, Bass Pro Shops.

But Target, at least when I was there and the one that I was at, they wouldn't allow it. And I would have to call the cops and I would have to sit there and wait for them. And there were times where it would take them like an hour and a half. So I, it would just add an extra hour and a half onto my evening. Ew. Which sucks. That feels like a someone else's problem kind of thing. It was by definition my problem.

I remember the only other time this ever happened was like there was a guy parked outside my mom's house or maybe he was like walking by a lot and they kept noticing him. And like, not that I'm this big, brave person, but I'm more of like I just need to know. I hate not knowing. So I had to go out and be like, do you need something? Like, why do you keep walking by?

I can't remember if he was walking by or if he was just, like, in his car staring at the house or something. And I was like, do you need something or whatever? And the guy wasn't really like coherent. I'm like, oh, it might be nuts. Do you remember when we were playing Manhunt near St. Francis

and an old man was driving down the wrong way the street like five times? No. Yeah, there was like one night we were playing. It was night in the summer. It must have been like 2005, 2006. and just like an older car, you know, was just driving. Like, we saw it the first time.

We were like, what the fuck? And then the second time, and we noticed it was like an elderly man. And it happened like three or four more of the time. And I think after the third time, we were like, we should probably call the cops. And we did, but I don't, I couldn't tell you if anything came of it. But like. To the elderly. Sometimes.

Did I ever tell you there used to be a guy in my block? They would come outside naked. Do you remember Crazy Tony? Well, yeah. But this guy lived on my block. Really? Yeah, he lived on the opposite side of the street and kind of up the block. But sometimes he would come outside and he would just be full cock to the wind.

That seems like the parents on that block would beat the brakes off this guy. There wasn't a lot of kids. Like, we all lived next door to each other because it was just like Richie and Ray across the street. There was mad kids on your block. It was Richie and Renee. And then the person next to you, their grandmother's house, then up the top of the block. He wasn't there a lot of the time.

Well, yeah, at the top of the block, but like on our block, it was just that. Actually, there was other kids in the middle of the block, too. But, yeah, that person, that dude or whatever, I don't know if it was just like he was senile, he had something wrong. Oh, he was an old bag. He was old, yeah. But he would come out, what? What's, how big was his wiener?

I don't, I tried to not think about it too much. Did he have shoes on? If you remember that. If you remember that. I feel like that makes it deliberate to me. Yeah. Yeah. And also the ice cream truck would stop in front of this man's house.

So every time we get ice cream, we'd be like, oh, hurry up. There was always that one house on the block that everyone was just like, stay the fuck away from that house. There's also a house across from mine, the corner, where we would be like, what's going on in there? It was kind of like a mystery house. I remember it was next door to Renee. Yeah, yeah.

It was like kind of a mystery house. You're kind of like, the fuck's going on. Yeah, I remember that. There was always one of those. Every neighborhood has that one house where everyone walks by. and it was like, what the fuck? What was our haunted, like, house? Well, the Steinway Mansion.

Oh, right. The Steinway Mansion was a big one. There was so many rumors about that. It was like, yo, there's like guard dogs. You got to run through. I mean, we went. We went once. I don't know if you were there with us,

but, like, we, like, went. We, like, jumped the fence and, like, looked around and then got the fuck out of there really quick. I've driven past there. I'm like, what the fuck? Well, there was that. There was the one that we, in a recent episode, talked about on the corner of the longest block in the world.

Oh, yeah. There was one on my street that always had, like, just an old man who walked his, like, intense German Shepherd with two hands like this. And he was just an old fucker. Oh. And there was another... Do you remember the other person on my block? There was another person on the block that, like, I don't know if they had some form of, like, disfigurement or something like that. And, like, everyone, like, was, like, stay away from them.

Because this was the 90s when, like, if someone looked different, it was like, oh, my God, they might be evil. I actually don't remember that at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there was. I don't remember that. Yeah, I'm not going to start saying names, but. That's great. Yeah, yeah. But, no, every neighborhood had their urban legends.

Yeah. I mean, I remember we had, we were told that in our alleyway there was vampires. Who told you that? One of the bigger kids on the, like, the block. There was vampires. Yeah, they would say, like, at night the vampires come out in the alleyway. And I remember I'd get so scared. Being in the alleyway.

We didn't really hang out in your alleyway, though. Not that often. We only got a good amount in the alleyway. There was... I played a lot of spud in my alleyway. You know what spud is? What the fuck is spud? You play spud?

It's a potato. That's not it. Oh, no. You don't know spud? I don't think so. Maybe. It was kind of a cool game. We called Spud where, like, I would have a ball, right?

And I'm it. And then it'd be like a group of you. So, like, you two guys and someone else. And I'd give a category. And then I'd say, like, all right, cars. And then you guys would, like, kind of pick cars. and then one person would be the spokesman. They were like, all right, so we have

Honda, fucking Mercedes, and a Lamborghini. And I'd be like, okay. And then I would say the name of the car that I choose and throw the ball as high as I could in the air. And then whoever's car I said,

they had to grab the ball and say, SPUDD Spud! And then they could take three big steps and you have to try and hit someone with the ball. That sounds so fun. It was a great game. That does sound fun. That was a joke.

We were played in my alleyway. Do you remember Smokey? Do you remember a little dog Smokey? I don't remember little dog Smoky. There was a little dog Smoky that was in the alleyway behind us. This dog was this big. Bit my sister's ankle. This bitch was bleeding everywhere.

What? Bit someone else's ankle. Yeah, like a crazy dog. It was like the sandlot. Time to put down old Smokey. The dog was old as it is. I'm sure it's dead and gone at this point and absolutely decomposed. If this dog was old then and lived another 25 years, Jesus Christ.

Yeah, we would lose balls in that yard. And then it'd be like, yo, the bravest one, which was never me. It was like someone had to. Oh, I was going to say it would probably be key. Well, apparently one time it was Shannon in the, I got her fucking ankle. Yo. There was always, yes, every neighborhood had its like scary haunted house. It's urban legend.

And then the one dog or like animal that like people were just like, yo, don't fuck with that one, dude. Did you ever have like an older woman in your, in like on your block or something? That was like a witch? That you like was probably just a really nice woman, but she was old and you're a child and you're like, nope, she's haunted. Well, that was the person I told. you about that had the like oh yeah yeah yeah she was an older woman oh and like I

that's sad it was I know I feel I mean it's not like we like ever did anything because we were afraid of being hexed right you know like we were never like mean to her but I remember I would always see her and people were just like yo be careful yeah and it was well I remember we had because because we grew up in a time and I don't know if your block was like this but my block my grandmother there was like eight houses in a row that she was like boys with all of the people there. Yeah. Like all the grandparents were like fucking mad cool.

They'd play cards. They'd go to diners. They fucking, you know, like all that shit. And every house it was like you knew different gossip about like those houses. Yeah. Like, oh, that's Santee. And you know, Santi. And he hasn't been the same since World War II.

And then over there, that's Eric. Eric's the piece of shit on the block. Like there was always... His son is an asshole. Yeah. Like there was always shit like that because like, It was much more like it was the people that bought the house lived there their entire lives. And there was more like community back then.

Hell yeah, there was. Yeah. We're becoming those people. Yeah. I'm watching it in front of me. Question for you. Sure. Did I ever tell you about my recitals?

My piano recitals? I don't believe so. Because I was talking about this recently to Nicole and she was like, this is insane. Because what I remember, because I came to a couple of your recitals. I played piano. I had a piano teacher that was a little of, of the block from me. It was like, oh, go ahead. Go ahead. But she, like, she would teach me piano and then, like, she would say that we're going to do a recital. Like, at a certain amount of time, it definitely

wasn't like a year, but there was this recital that we would do. And she was a performer when she was younger. And I would literally... This was weird, dude. Now that I think about it, it was weird. My, so the recital was supposed to be this event, right? And my dad worked construction. So he had this spotlight. Like, you know those lights that you clip onto shit? So it was just one bulb. So he had like a spotlight. And she would start at the top of the stairs. Yeah. And we'd be like, okay, it's starting. And like, mind you, the people in the crowd are him and then my grandma and her friends. It was like a community thing. I remember like neighbors came sometimes. Sometimes, but it was mostly like very old people that I like knew because they were my grandma's friends from church.

Yep. And they would show up to my piano recital. And she'd come down the stairs and my dad would follow her with the light. And then I'd start playing piano. And then after I played a couple songs, she would open up this giant case and do double puppets. Yo, yes. She'd do ventriloquism.

And sing. And sing. Yo, but like, not just like, you know, like he'd be playing like, you know, hot cross buns. And she'd be like, hot cross bun. It was like, hot cross.

Like, she fucking belted, dude. She also would just play. Like I would play like because I just my first year playing piano I'm like fucking 10 years old and I'm like doing it and it would be like normal But then she would get on and she's fucking Elton John Oh she fucking this was her moment to shine exactly this was her fucking show and it was the same and then she would do ventrilo Like that and she basically you paid her to put on a show in your house Yes and yo I remember that and then one day gone drop dead like had a heart attack Well so I can tell by your voice you're guessing

No, I remember that No, no, no, yeah, but like, she did die. I also remember her house Because she lived up the blocks from me. Dude, like, there were like I know we're getting really Going all over the place. But like, Astoria was either like

townhouses that were all smushed together or just like a random, beautiful house. Yeah. Like old, like out of a fucking Front yard, backyard, side yard. Yo, like, with like rose bushes that lined the front and Arbor Vite

and like, you know, like, hydrangeous. Just like out of nowhere. And like, yo, she lived in one of those. And I remember she had like French doors in the front. I was like, yo, this, this bitch must be famous because she's fucking, she's going and she's working the, she's working the crowd of Joey's place. She was like a child Broadway, something. I don't know.

But she was like a very nice woman. She was very religious. And she, yeah, she did live in that house. You know what's funny? I was just talking about this too. I don't know if I was talking about this. with you guys or not. But you ever see like at the top of houses when they have circular windows?

Yeah, we were talking about that. Oh, yeah. And I always feel like there's a monster in there or some shit. Like you're going to see a face. She had those. Yes, she did. At the top of her house.

It was, it had those windows. Have you ever, like, looked up to see, like, if she was, like, telling the truth about being a child star? My parents, like, know that. Oh, like, your mom could point to and be like, I remember her. Yeah, like, they knew her because she was also Shannon's piano teacher. I don't want to let her name rip, but it was. yeah yeah yeah all right i mean i don't know that anyone could figure out who her name was angela yeah and

you guys called her miss angela yeah i think it's super sweet that she got to relive that with you she did it a bunch yeah she did it with shannon too like she had those that's four recitals right there because we both did it i think for a couple of years like two years so that's at least four recitals frankie's about to ruin at home i i don't know if that's as sweet as like no she got you got to help her live that like using a child in that way like I mean, I was putting on shows. Strange. Yeah, but you were like,

go, coo, king, gung, gung, gink, gung, gung, gink, gung, gung, gung, gink. And she fucking double puppeted. Like, who did she think was going to be in the crowd? Like, fucking, you know, like an agent? I think that she also, the, one of the dolls, I wish I remembered the names. I guarantee you my mom remembers, like, knows the names. But it was one that had, like, a top hat.

And he would talk, and his top hat would raise in the air. Wait, so she wasn't just, like, doing like, hey, how you doing? I'm doing well. It was like full-on ventriloquism. These were legitimate dolls that, like, were made of wood. I remember the, I remember the dolls. She would be like, well, go, go, go.

And she'd be talking like that. Oh, this is really good. Yeah, like that. You know, shit like that. It wasn't like hand puppet. It was like, there was a whole mechanical thing going on. It was impressive. And then Jeff Dunham did it.

And now, yeah. Yeah. He did, he did racist ones. He did racist ones. And now it's, now everyone hates fucking wood and dummies. Now we don't like it anymore. But back that, it was popping, man. Yeah.

No, the kids are in, they take piano right now, Miles and Ruby, but they're not doing anything like that. They're not putting on a recitals. They're not putting on recitals. They got no puppets? No puppets, dude. Honestly, for the free price of nothing, that was a pretty good show. It's funny. You, like, when you look at it at its core, you just paid this woman to just give a show in your house. And, like, you guys learned, like, a couple piano songs. I actually think that I was in it for a while. I did it for two years. So I did, like, learn a lot from her, but, and I remember

it being like super cheap. Like, my mom would try to pay her more. Well, it was the 90s, brother. It was probably like, you know, $10 a month. I don't even remember how often she came, to be honest with you. My mom would know more. Yeah, I wouldn't. My dad, too, but. I'm trying to think if one of my friend's

brothers was like eight, and my friend invited me to his recital and that was happening, I think that'd be sick. Like, well, I didn't expect this at all. Well, you'd be like, you'll want a fucking puppet? Yeah, she was huge. Yeah, and then you'd stay up and go rip black coffees at the local diner. Oh, God.

Talk about it over a fucking hot cup of Joe. It was like, man, that was, uh, that was something. Cheers to the, you know, our Java. Yeah. Uh, we also have, uh, some more sponsors here. We have Kachava. Ladies and gentlemen. Kachava right here.

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Go get yourself some cinnamon-french toast, all right? And then maybe get another little. bag of something. I'm going to suggest you do chocolate. That feels like a safe one, but it's really good. Trust me. I've had a bunch of different, you know, of these like scoops and you have protein, whatever. This is easily the best one, in my opinion. Taste the best and also has a bunch of other stuff in it. Chava.com. Use that code basement. You'll be good to go. And lastly here, we have DoorDash. You know what DoorDash is. Like everyone has a door dash. I've had DoorDash for a long time, but a lot of people use it for a bunch of different things. And, you know, you could buy

yourself things off of DoorDash. You know, you could order stuff from the convenience store, you could order food, or you could order whatever it is. But a lot of people don't realize also you could use this in a way to connect with other people as well. So if you are, you know, if you have a friend that is going through something and you want to, you know, make them happy, you can send them their favorite snack, or you could send them a couple of things from, you know, the convenience store or whatever. There was a couple years ago where I used DoorDash to send my mom flowers on Mother's Day. So whenever things like that sort of pop up, I'll use something like DoorDash, you know, send my mom not only some flowers, but I could send her some chocolate and things like

that. But there's a bunch of different ways that you can kind of use this. But, you know, even for your friends, it's nice to be nice to your friends. So, you know, send them something. If someone's down in the dumps, you could send them something nice using DoorDash. And you could also use it for your own personal use as well. Obviously, you can, you know, get some food or whatever, a little drink, a little drinky poo, something like that, whatever it is. But yeah, go check out DoorDash. It makes showing up for people you love Easy. But yeah, go download DoorDash and enjoy what they have to offer there, ladies and gentlemen. I have a question for you because I saw, hold on real quick. I just realized we brought up the suspicious thing and never talked about what it was. We don't need it.

I mean, it wasn't anything damaging to anyone. It didn't harm any. It didn't harm anyone. Not yet. Well, what it ended up being, so what Joey was referencing was earlier in the episode, he mentioned cops were called and like blocks were shut down for a suspicious. That beat the fuck off me. That's a tough word to say quickly.

Suspicious. Got it. Suspicious. Yeah. Why are you looking up suspicious? Oh, is that a picture of it? Wait, zoom in on it? Enhance?

Enhance? Well, there it is right there, ladies and gentlemen. Apparently that was an adult toy. An adult toy. Which is just code for your wiener. Well, yeah. So I think the thing that I saw that said that it was like a penis pump. It was a pump?

It was a penis pump. Bro, if I spent also $350, why are we putting the price out there? You know what you're doing. Second of all... This fucking really cool looking thing is only $350. And it said they got them. Is this like a marketing scheme? What is the item?

Bro, look at how the guy is dressed. Imagine you have to get up and go to work thinking it's a bomb. That guy made easy money that day. That guy made easy money. Imagine the call to his partner before, or maybe it's a woman, like the call to their partner beforehand. Just like, I love you. I might not make it. Yeah, yeah.

Might not make it today. There's something on the street in D.C. It's crazy out there. And then you get there and it's just a fucking sex toy. Top comment. It's a device that definitely makes people explode all right. Apparently it's like a pump. It's like a penis pump.

Why are you saying that? Like, I would understand what that is. Oh, you started doing a hand motion. Because I was doing Joe Budden. Pump to pump, pump, pump, pump. Oh, I thought you were like. Oh, I'll tell you what. It's a Zolo Blowbot.

I mean, you got to. Hold up. Hold up. Hold on. You got to look for it. You got to Google it now, brother. A Zolo Blow bot? It's a Zolo Blow bot.

Let's see the Zolo BlowBot. First of all, say that five times fast. Solo blow, Zolo, Zolo, Blobo, Bovi, Zobo, Bovi, Zobo! It's not bad. Are you sure? Zolo Blobot? You sure? Why is saying, are you sure?

Like, this is... I'm saying, I'm going to hit enter. Yeah, well, let's see what happens. All right. Zolo. Okay. Okay, hold on. Oh, it's a lot of, like...

First of all, we're not going to put any of this on screen because it's a... Actually, you can put that on screen. Yo, this looks like Tony Stark's forearm. I literally was going to say it looks like a needler. Halo. This thing, 100% was a weapon in HAL. I saw the inside for a second. Did you?

It looks how you imagine. I mean, it's not going on. Yeah. Nice. Oh, it's like, so it's, like, it's just a, oh, it's an automatic beege machine. A bee machine. It's a, it's a, it's a, yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a very complicated. I mean, yeah.

I mean, yeah. I mean, I mean, you know what? I would feel weird about this. Like, I'm just like, now I'm, I'm having sex with humidifiers. Yeah, if I saw this thing, I would be worrying about, like, the, you know, how many breakers I need to turn off to make sure this doesn't blow the other ones and something like that. Yeah, if my fridge goes out because of this thing, I have a big problem. Yeah, and where do you store that? Do you need, like, a dedicated, like, charging station? This looks like this comes with, like, a Tesla. It looks like you would put it next to, like, the Swiffer.

It's only a matter of time before Tesla starts offering this and, like, under their hood, where they're just like, listen, and now you can have sex with the tailpipe. I feel like I wouldn't trust anything That has to be plugged into the wall No shot during use Everything short circuits The AC in here Every two days I mean what would be the worst that happens

It just short circuits Oh like it fucking like just Shocks your wean Zaps you Oh I didn't even think of that What were you thinking of I was thinking like it would like Blow up on your on your peem peem peen

That too What if it explodes on my wiener Mid-coitus That's a lot brother Happens Wait I have a question though You buy a piece of machine like this and it does what it does and you just leave it on the street like that also honestly

you know what now that now that i'm thinking about it calling the bomb squad probably was the right move because i wouldn't touch this thing this is a hazmat someone needs a suit so someone needs a suit to pick this thing up also they can trace it back now trace it back what do that mean they could put if they give it to a lab oh so they could say like hey let's figure out who put this biological material on the side of the street that's got to be a league i mean but then you got to hope that whoever's DNA is in there is in the system as it is just because they get DNA doesn't mean they have to have previously have gotten the DNA that's true so like they could get it and they could just be like huh a zolo blow bot good name it's just like a

blow bot's crazy I guess it's on the nose a little bit it is it is I mean what would you call it oh no I think it fits I like it oh so it fits like a glove yeah I For $350. Well, I'll tell you this, $350. That thing better do everything and then some. Oh. Okay. There better be an arm that comes down.

Well, no, like, that's a lot of money, dude. Let's actually think about this actually. A blow bot. It's in the name. $350. In the name. Is it crazy? Is that reasonably price?

I don't know. were you calling? Is this the offices of Zolo? Yeah, he's Zolo. No, I could never. I could never. This is me giving up on my, my, my, my, my whole life if I do that. I mean, if they figure out, I couldn't, no. If they figure out that it was yours.

Oh, no, that's, that's a rap. So then what are you talking about? I'm talking about, like, actually having one. I'm joking. Oh, yeah. Did you ever, do you remember years and years and years ago? We talked about it on like one of the first episodes we did, but there's that, like, famous picture of

Megan Traynor and her husband and they're like walking out of somewhere with plastic bags and you can see through the plastic bags it appears that they have an abundance of dilds of sex toys. I'm not like judging but like

the point that I'm making, no I'm not but the point that I'm making, that's not judging. The point I'm making is that getting photographed doing that is an invasion of privacy. Sure. You know, like that's a little intense you have to I would be embarrassed if that

that photograph was taken of me I should you shouldn't know that about people you got your drawer you open it up it's a two-handed drawer you open it up and there's just like are you telling us now where your blowbots are I don't have any blowbots I don't even have a like a sex story drawer maybe one day

you never know well you will be buying a house in the next couple years I mean I imagine you're going to have a fucking dungeon I'm giving you the tour and I'm like check this out and I'm move a book and then it's just dildo blowbots and dildos and all the types of shit I'm sure something like that exists like that people have that the whole thing

dungeons those are real like fucking 50 shades that's the thing yeah yeah dungeons he like opens a door and then it's just like you know like I'm Christian or whatever his name is Christian Gray that's what it is yeah and then he just like look at my room and it's just like a room of chains and whips like flogs

what's a flog it's like a whip kind of oh I thought I thought you meant Like, he's going to. At first I heard vlog and I was like, then he's vlogging the thing. What he's saying? What's up, gamers? Today I'm in my dungeon. It's me.

C. Gray, back to show you guys. The chains I got this week. Today we're spanking this poor little girl. Disgusting. Absolutely fucking disgusting. Call. Call. That was horrendous.

Dial 9-1-1. Yeah. I'll tell them that you're here. Good Lord in heaven. But yeah, it was. was a sex toy. It was a sex toy that they found. Here's a serious question. Can a city like sue someone for something like that? Because that's a lot of resources to dispatch for something. I think they're they err on the side of quashion. Who the hell are you? I think then they are on the

side of caution. I think they they err on the side of caution and it's not really your fall. I mean if you're like, yo, my bad. I put it down and I forgot. I mean, that doesn't mean that doesn't mean that can't still sue you for it. Like, you still, like, that's a, that's, like, is there something where it's, like, misappropriating, like, resources and stuff like that? They're suing me for calling? No, no, no, no, whoever, if they find out, like, if they look underneath and they see the tape and it says J. Sanagato. It says Andy on the bottom.

Yeah. Like, if they see that and they're just like, whoa, okay. I would assume no, because you're allowed to misplace things, although that's seeing the outdoors is outrageous. That feels like an indoor toy. Yeah. I don't know that. Let me be clear. I'm pretty sure all toys are indoor toys.

Correct. That one being on the sidewalk near the street for why. Yeah. Whoever put that, put it like this, that being there is bad because they had to get rid of it and quickly. Unless it was like you're on your way to something and you put it down. Like, you know, some people put their coffee and they forget on top of their hood. I think relating the Zolo Blobot to a cup of coffee is significant. different. Yeah, you would never forget your blowbot.

I mean, and also, you would be like, huh, I feel maybe 50 pounds lighter. That thing looks fucking massive. Well, yeah, I mean. I put coffee in the trunk of my car, and then I gotten in, and I opened it, and it fell all over. And I don't think I've ever called myself more names than in that moment. Which names? Say them all. Say them all. Bad, bad names. Bad, bad names. You were a bad little boy.

Because I really wanted the coffee. You brought yourself to your dungeon, and you had yourself a day with you. All right. if you did have a sex dungeon talk to me about the lighting oh good question I don't even know how to answer that how do you color moody

I don't even know I've never given any thought to that well well lit yeah I imagine like a doctor's office no I mean that's well lit like there is a well yes and that's what I meant in the middle in the middle there's a well it's like oh you want to be trapped

And I can fucking, like, I'm Buffalo Bill. I lower down a basket, I just like, put the lotion on its skin. What the fuck? What are you doing? What would yours be like? I would think, like, a dark, moody, like a maroon. Everything's maroon. Like, daredevil.

Basically. Huh. You know what I mean? Basically how, like, most homes in, like, the mid-2000s were painted. Like, the outside would be stucco. I imagine it would be, like, what I imagine Ozzy Osbourne's basement looked like at one point. Google Ozzy Osbourne's basement or like Bam Margera's basement that's probably the one That's probably what you're going for Joey but it'd be a lot of deep purples and maroons yeah yeah and like blacks like the floor's blacked uh

I feel like more stuff would show on the floor no no no I'm getting nothing on it's just pictures of Ozzy Osbourne which is not not helpful books that's a lot of books I don't know how we would just get pictures of his basement I mean I tried look up look up it's not gonna show I'll look at Bam Margera's basement Friggins. Why do you think there's just pictures of people's basement? First of all, Bamargera had full seasons of shows in that fucking place. Did he? You remember Viva LaBam? Oh, actually we're getting there. See? I told you.

What is that on the wall? Oh, you know what? You would have to have a logo that is like kind of demonic? Yeah, like the... I don't know about demonic. Well, satanic? No, I definitely don't know about that one. This purple jar looks really good. What is... Some glass stuff? There would have to be glass and

rod iron. Rod iron, like wall sconces, you know. A big wood pillar is pretty good. Yeah, and it's got like,

it's chipped in it. Oh, like there's been, marks. Yeah. Oh, no, that's actually kind of dark. Yeah.

You know what, Frank? I apologize. We did get to see Bamar geron's basement. Shocking. First of all, that might have been

his bedroom, but we don't know. Close enough. I mean, I don't know the layout of Castle Bam. That was a good show. You don't remember Viva

Laban? That's a show? Castle Bam? Viva LaBam. I remember Viva LaBam. It took place at Castle Bam. Oh. Yeah.

I didn't realize how, like, bought into Jackass you were until, like, much later. Yeah. I tried showing Becca the newest one the other day, and I, she's like, this just isn't for me. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, I get that, you know. But then she, like, she was just like. Do you watch it for me? No, no.

Would you watch these guys shitting on themselves? I mean, I, I, I mean, I, I, I, I, I was just like. I joked with her earlier that day. I was just like, how much do you love me? And she's like, endless. I was like, you'll do anything for me. And she's like, yeah? And like that question, obviously,

she knew someone's getting teed up. It's a trap. And I was like, all right, will you watch something with me tonight? And she's like, sure, yeah, what do you want to watch? And I, that's when I, you know, I said, like, the new jackass is out on, on premium video on demand rental. And she was like, I just got attacked by another fucking fly. He's getting, he's coming back for his boy. Well, he's going to get the same treatment.

I wouldn't have set the 50 bucks if we could get even. No. You never know. There she blows, Frank. That's a better. Okay, Frank. We need to, Frank. Please don't.

We know it's a bad. Didn't get it. My dead grandmother would have gotten out of the way of that. But she was like, okay, we watched it. And she got like three segments in. And she was just like, she's like, you have to understand this is not for me. And then she went one step further. She's like, I also don't know how this is for you.

Right. Well, that's that, yeah. Because she's like, they're like talking about like, they're like shitting in and around each other. It's like not you. It's the most not me thing that I think that I enjoy. Right. You know? And then it's what is it about it that like draws you in?

I just think like the camaraderie and like it's just there's nothing like mean about it. It's just guys just having fun. And it kind of reminds us to a very minor degree like. how our friend group was growing up. Like, we would do, like, little, like, joking, like, sacktaps and pranks and gags. To be fair, it is very pranky. Yeah. So you like pranks.

So maybe that's where it is. But then there will be one where they're, like, let's throw up on your poop. We wear, you know, clear suits, sweatsuits and fucking crap in them while we play a game. You know what I mean? Like, that is not like me. Do you skip through those or you will watch them? I watch them. It gets me, though.

It gets, I gag 100%. But it makes you laugh. Of course it does because it's just like, what the fuck is this? You've never watched something and just be like, this is so insane that like the fact that it exists is... Well, yes, I do, but it's hard to imagine you because I feel like... If aunt farted right now, you'd be like,

you fucking disgusting fuck, but then you're a watch two guys shit and... I'll be honest. If I was in the room, I wouldn't be as pumped. Right. But like, if I saw it like through a screen and I didn't have to fucking like smell this dude's shit his pants, then like, I'm on board. But you like, in fact, like, oh, you know, it stinks and it's disgusting, but they're friends.

They're having a good time. I just like, it really is like, it's not like, this is such a weird thing to think this deeply about, but like, it's just enjoying, like people aren't just enjoying themselves. Like, there's nothing about it that they're like trying to like, you know,

be like edgy, you know, like we're just like, we're gonna say, we're gonna use, we're gonna bring back certain slurs because who cares, don't take them from us. They're like, they're just having a fun time. Kicking each other with the balls. Yeah.

And I just have a soft spot for it. I don't know why. She's got a soft spot. If you're getting run over by the bowl. I can imagine you don't watch that shit because. Back in the day, we had a YouTube series called Dumbass. We did all jackass stuff. Really?

Is it still up? No. How old were you? Oh, it was before high school. Like seventh grade? So we all went through that, I guess. Well, yeah. And that's the other thing is like it was.

The, like, earliest part of us doing videos was doing jackass stunts and stuff like that. Do you know what I just thought of? I'm saying, like, oh, we all did that. His were on YouTube. Ours was on cassette tapes. Yeah. It's gross, right? Got 1,500 views.

We thought we were famous. Bro, that's a fuck ton. I know. That is. Do you have access to any of these videos anymore? No, a culprit deleted the whole channel to save his image going into high school. Who? A culprit.

A culprit. A culprit. Who was the... Yeah, yeah. I wonder Who? Yeah, I wonder who this... Only to throw it away again.

As he sits and reminisces with a black coffee and a cigarette. Are you accusing me? It wasn't me. At the diner. I would never. What were some of the stunts you guys did? We had people on pegs,

on a bike, bike pegs, and we would pedal them into like just metal beams, stuff like that. We did a lot of that. That was Keith. Yeah.

Yeah. Keith was the, the bush diver and the, like, jumping in the stuff guy. The things that were like really dangerous, Keith would be like, sure.

We played, thing called box dodgeball where we just duct taped boxes with heavy stuff and then we just tossed boxes at each other do you remember we used it this is so bad i don't even know if i want it's we got to do it now the earliest version i used to do this because it was jackass with yeah i think it's it across with our legs spread open like this and just pack socks all into each other and then just throw them across the room at each other's balls we did it we did it with tennis balls my brothers and i yeah that's fine it happens i think part of growing up. But like the first videos

that we did were like the drop kick. Yeah. You know, the one where I walked across the street and crutches. Yeah. Just like that. It was such a like, it was such a cultural event. Bro, one time. One time me and Keith were playing that game where we just sat across from each other and threw socks like at each other's

balls. And I, I guess I like pissed him off in some way that I threw it really hard, like too hard because you're supposed to loft it. Mm. And I threw it and it hit him and he got so mad that he turned around and punched the dresser and then the dresser fell down on him. Yo, my mom came upstairs. I'm like, oh, we're too young to be able to pick it up. You know, she, imagine trying to explain how that happened. I mean, that is scary.

You know, like, that is scary. Like, people, like, kids get hurt like that. I know we were almost doable. You know, that's, that is legitimate. I was like, oh, my God, I just killed my brother. Dude. I mean, those are, they're just, they're just fun. And like, it's just, like, there's something about it that's heartwarming and endearing, you know?

Good old Fred Boy on there. And then there are parts of it that are just fucking disgusting. Yeah. Yeah, we never did any bodily stuff. You're the gagger of the group, so I imagine that you can't. That's crazy. You can't watch those and not gag. Did we do any, like, eating things?

No, I don't think so. We've done more of them over the last five years that we've ever done when we were kids. We also did less jackass and more like sketch, too. We definitely did jackass stuff. But we would do like sketches. I remember one that we did was like, at the time what we thought was a hot pepper. It was like a pepper and chini from like portobello fucking, like a portobello house salad. And we were like, holy fuck, holy fuck, we're going to fucking bite this fucking thing.

And we would like bite it and like we were dying basically. Yeah. You know, but. Holy fuck, holy fuck. You guys did videos like called the Keith or something, right? Those are movies. Yeah, we did movies called the Nick with our friend Nick. well that's close

um Jesus Christ it's not that close I'm just saying like I don't know that's as close as you're going to get yeah like you better chill out that's as close as you're going to get ours was really good though because it actually stood for something

yeah ours was called Keith and it was an acronym and it was a horror movie where Keith kills everyone and Keith stand for kill everyone in the house that's really good yeah good for you guys ours was just our friend his name if you watched it you'd be able to like well and we recorded it on the thing that you

it wasn't editing it was just like you had to keep stop record stop you have to if you like fucked up a take you had to reverse or like rewind to a spot and then start again and it made sense we uh the one is one is gone period gone forever yeah we can't find it

two is in your possession or Dylan's possession I think I have it please find it please I think I have it please and then I have the third one I have the third one on my laptop yeah and I'll I'll bring it in and show it to you. I wish I found it.

I remember one where we duct taped Danny to a gaming chair, like his hands and his forehead to a pole, and we just got the big Nerf Gatlin guns and just... Because when we were kids, when Keith would come around, everyone, or when he did something and football or something, everyone would go, Keith, so they extend it. So Keith, kill everyone in the house was the first one. The second one was Keith, two E's, kill everyone else in the house.

That's really good. That's funny. The third one was Kathri. Okay. It was K3. And like he like walks off in the end. Yeah, he like walks. And then you hear Frankie in the background going, but he'll be bad.

Like that. Well, it was like we tried to add a story where it was like he's like, he's killing people because he was bullied. Right. And he's getting the revenge on the bulliers. Well, that was the last movie. Oh my God. I just remember that.

There's a scene where we focused in on his eyes. and we're slowly backing up or we're slowly zooming in and a bunch of people were just stepping on his head yeah we're like stomping him out in the backyard and like screaming things at him this is a good arc like his backstory yeah yeah like it was a flashback yo honestly the arc is not bad

because it was first it was like this guy's just killing everyone but then the third one we're like wait he's a victim yeah yeah and now he's killing everyone and then he walks off because he's killed everyone yeah it was it was something and it was for uh my so the first one was for this kid his film class.

Yeah. Second one was for my film class. Won all the awards. Joey came in to watch it. Yeah, I just walked into his school and sat in his fucking class. Into the school? Yeah, I was in his classroom. Rather, 2010.

Yikes. Yeah, 2010. And then the third one was for our friend Dillon's, but they didn't do anything. Yeah, we did the whole thing. We did the whole thing and we gave it to him. Yeah, it was funny. It was something, man.

It's so stupid. I had a dog cage for my... Oh, it was also like a saw move. Like it was like and then like it was so poorly shot like in the background you could see like my feet Yeah Joey's in a scene where we put my friend in a cage and then we hung like a mitasol above that was like hanging Yeah and there was a timer and it was gonna fall on them and all this shit Yeah, it was so fucking dumb, but it was so fucking funny if you watch it

We didn't have a way to turn the lights on it off so we just had one friend in the back Flicking the switch and then in the footage you could just see the kid like flicker There was one scene where Frank gets hit I have these like double doors Atop my mom's house so we slam it on him And you just see him like lift his hand so it doesn't hit him Like you can see him to go And then it hits him and then he is supposed to fall down the stairs

But he fell down the stairs And you just hear Ow! And then you look down the stairs And he's just on the ground This is also prime time where we were just like We were fucking 19 18 or 19 or 17 at the time And we were like

Just like yeah like actually throw me down the stairs, Keith. You know, like, Keith, like, actually hit me. We got, like, creative with it. Like, he stabbed someone. And for blood, we put red food coloring in, like, a seltzer bottle. And he stabbed it and it's sprayed red on him. You know what?

I'm going to bring my laptop in next week. That's young Spielberg stuff. Yeah. Listen, brother. Hey, look at us now. Not doing that. Maybe. Well, there's one day that will.

No, actually, I don't think we can show those. I don't even know. I would have to watch it. We definitely have to watch it. And, and I mean, you'll see it when you see it, but it was like the video had, the movie had to be 10 minutes long. And it came in at like, the third one came in at like 925. And we just physically had nothing else that we could shoot. And we were up all night editing it.

Keith already walked off into the sunset. Yeah. So what we did was we, in the credits, it's just like him and I singing Get Low by Lil John and the East Side Boys. you this isn't our project this isn't our project it's our friends project and we're doing the entire and it was like written by this produced by directed by starring you know grip like all that shit it was just us lighting pretty sure that's how the real world works too probably yeah well maybe one day ladies maybe one we just tease the fuck out of that so the people are going to want to see it find the second one for me please i'll have to find

it's on like a cd or some shit but it's on a DVD yeah But there you have it, folks. That's our episode, Frank. We're going to find you. The Frank Alvers everywhere. Go check out the Patreon. Patreon.com slash the basement yard. New merch, sanding out of studios.com. Check the hat.

Check the sweatshirt. Check the shirt. That's the wrong one. I did it again. So go check all that out. And you guys can go follow me. Oh, aunt, where's going to find you? Nope.

Santagasorosidios.com. Wow. Oh. Go ahead. Go see you guys. See, we'll follow the show at the basement yard. And that is all. We'll see you guys next time.