The Basement Yard - Barstool Pat & Wayne Jetski - The Extra Yard

Episode Date: February 27, 2020

On this episode, we're visited by our buddies from Barstool Breakfast, Pat and Wayne Jetski, this episode is insane. We talk about Pat's coming out story and Wayne getting drunk and doing weird stuff. Enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys go check out our patreon where you can get our daily morning show and next week's episode today Welcome to the extra yard. I am Pat McAuliffe. I'm here with Wayne Jetski. How's it going, baby? Danny and Joe are kind of us to invite us on the show. Wow So good intro. We are ready here to answer any questions you may have I'll go ahead and toss the ball to you You've got a soft voice I will My voice completely changes. Yeah, you're a very well-spoken man. I'll give you that. It's nice. I like it

You are also very well-spoken, but I do see you on Instagram sometimes. I have an author when he's drunk When he's drunk on Instagram, he's a black guy. Oh, yeah I was like, you know Yeah, I didn't meet this guy Like I want to hang out with both Jetski's No, no, you don't it's like Wayne is the the drunk alter ego We ain't Wayne Jetski. So Wayne Jetski is the guy at work who's just cool You know cruising and then when I get drunk I get a couple wanes in me. Yeah. Yeah loudmouth soup loudmouth soup

Yeah, what's that? I'm the same one. It's it's beer. Okay loudmouth soup. I'm the same one. I drink. I don't change I definitely change I become like I get more sex like a 45 year old you get more sexual who works the front desk at like a Building I basically basically become Ruben You do become we have we have this man Ruben who used to Be the doorman in our old office at Barstool and he would not hold the door open for anybody We're fused gem. Um, he was an ex-crack head and Was like a Rucker Park legend apparently they called him Windex and we used it We decided to bring this man on radio because why not hear his crackhead story?

So he's kind of like my alter ego When I get you so you channel so that's who this guy is He's Windex. Yeah, so when I drink I turn into a crackhead from Harlem who had a job at a front desk I love that. I love that. I wanted to ask real quick before we get obviously disgusting on the show How'd you guys meet and also how'd you guys end up hooking up with Barstool? We met I ended up hooking up through Barstool I'd followed it forever because I am from Massachusetts So I just wrote a bunch of sample blogs and eventually Dave was like, okay, you can work here. What was that?

Probably like two years ago. Oh, and so I had actually sent in like an initial pack I hated my fucking job at the age one hated my boss. It was the worst thing ever So I sent in the package like a letter being like, okay, I'm gonna send you a blog every day Here's my plan. I want to be you know the gay blogger blah blah blah and people send in samples all the time But don't follow up. So I sent in probably like a good like 75 80 blogs one every day, you know 3 400 words Eventually I get an email back from Fidelberg being like, what's your deal? And I was like, okay, someone's reading. Yeah, so I told him my deal right a few more blogs Probably about a month goes by Davey's mails me back. He's like, all right, let's start this up

It's like start this up. I was like, does this mean I work here? He's like, yeah I was like, so should I quit my job? He was like, I don't know She's like, well, you're gonna pay me. I was like, all right. Well, I'm just gonna start coming into the office He's like, that's fine. And so that's how and so that's how it started and then probably like Uh, probably I don't know when you came on after that. I had been there. So we didn't have a radio station when I first started there Yeah, and I think it was Cinco de Mayo was my first old office, right in the old office And I remember it was a big deal when we got like booked to do like six hours worth of programming Which was like and we provided 12 which is a whole another story

And so we had a radio show and then I think jet ski came in as an intern I came in in the fall of Excuse me 2017 I had like applied to be an intern the summer before because I was running like a music blog when I was in school in jersey Um got a little bit of traction on it came in for an interview with Caleb and ron didn't get the job And then I was just like fucking teaching like Underprivileged kids in bay shore math at an after school program in the y yeah, I've done those. Yeah, and then somehow my student number kind of

Both actually yeah, yeah, and then my number kind of just got I guess passed along to a friend of a friend who knew someone who was actually employed at barstool and they called me uh that Former chief of staff called me and asked me if I wanted to be an intern for the office manager And I was like, yeah, I'll do whatever so I came in and I was doing a very bright man Brett merriman office manager brett rip. Uh, he's no longer with uh with barstow. He died No, he didn't he just moved to awesome. He just Yeah, I didn't know how to go which is which is like dying. Yeah, it is like dying Dying going to heaven. I hear but then you got brought on and it took a while and then I actually

Saved jet ski by giving him a job on our radio show. He did look at that. He you got one of those two, huh? Yes, I don't know if he's grateful for but I'd love to kind of hear a thank you now I'm definitely very grateful for okay beforehand I was just like booking people's flights like stocking shelves doing all the bitch We're gonna have to clean out the fucking barstool rv that all these savages took on the college tour and just Shit incessantly and never dumped the uh the fucking shit out of the the What's it called the sewer sewage. Yeah, you were a bitch. Oh, I rescued you ultimate like Be bitch like be worker. I just did a bunch of bitch work

And then I finally kind of got involved the radio show we decided we wanted to start doing video I started kind of teaching myself on the fly. I had a video on the night That's good enough. That saves your life. I'm waiting for things. I need to thank you. Thank you pat. You saved my life Joe saved my life. I uh, yeah for sure 100 percent. I'm not even kidding I remember you from vine. That's how that's how I remember you. We do you ever work at like sedexo or like a Yeah, I remember the workers at my college were sedexo. I was like this guy working at dining hall and he's making these freestyle raps You were a foot. No, no, no, no, no foods. No, what I did what are you getting raps about? Yeah

He was teaching he was home He was teaching kids how to swim Children how to swim while singing about nipples. Yeah, so that's yeah, and then I got fired from a camp because of the titties Yeah, because of titties. Yeah, and then I got a job at sedexo driving Uh, it's pretty savage children from their classes. So like I was a sedexo driver And it was so bad that sedexo reached out to my job and told me to stop wearing this stuff in the videos Titty rap was a fucking sedexo. You were uh, you were uh, you were a cocaine addicted sedexo driver Yeah

A cocaine addicted Wrapping swim instructor turns the dactyl. I mean, it was clearly the hiring process over there needs some work So joe like uh, joe brought me in to do some stuff in the office and uh He was Obviously he saw like a bigger picture with me But he's like, you know, I gotta see if I can trust this guy. They're like, you know be a person Which you couldn't it wouldn't it wasn't not even that's completely false. Well, you gotta really think about it We didn't really know each other that well. I didn't just think you were kind of like steal from me

No, no, no, but like it's like, yo, can you perform like can you like sexually and then on camera? Right? Yeah Yeah, so you need that and I was like, you know Uh, joe got me joe got drunk one night and he basically just told me I'm a fucking loser What do you tell him? He loves telling this story in an exaggerated form. Yeah, it's very But I basically told him like that's almost like, yo, you have a lot of talent, but you don't do anything with it Right. It's like ridiculous. Yeah, really really hit me. So this tough love you weren't calling me loser Yeah, I wasn't like, you're a fucking loser dog. I was like, now go get the xlr cables. You bitch. Yeah, no, but uh You know and uh long story short. I'm here now. So you gave me a shot

So I have no problem saying joe saved my life when you first got when you first got brought. Yeah, see the ropes. Yeah How much money does joe pay you? Very good Really? Yeah, very well. We looked up. We're trying to figure out how much money you guys made, but we couldn't yeah Well, my network is wrong. How do you look that up? I would love to know that. What was the website? Social blade Yeah, you know the problem with social brain. It's a range. It's always a range. It's like, all right. It's either $18 or $400 million The last I checked my net worth was what was it between two and five million. That's awesome Which is higher than my net worth, which is 300,000. Yeah, he just embezzles you and then it gets recorded If you go if you go online wikipedia, my wikipedia net worth is 300,000 and his is 2 million. Yeah, so I'm paying them really well

I'm in the hole or they just like looked at my instagram and thought I made a lot more money than possible But but I'm doing okay. I'm my heads above water. Very good. How they treating you over barstool. We're we're both hundred airs Hundred airs. There you go. I'm dressed like someone who like defected from the santa's workshop to like sell rocksy So I'm not too great. Yeah. No, that's how you're treated fine. It's a barstool is good It's all about the more you bring to them the more they give to you. So which is how exactly how it should be Like people if you have ad deals and you have a big following and you have a product like a podcast or video series that attracts Addeals that reflects an arrays that reflects and bonuses, which I don't have any of So

I hear that's how it works. You're gonna try and get us to go over it. All right. I hear that's how it works Yeah, oh, I see what's going on. There's a little insider insider trading. So you guys hire? Yeah I Yeah, that's awesome. That's awesome. I mean barstool has been around forever. Yeah, um, like you said you came in as the gay blogger Um, they can't really call you gay anymore, right? They can I mean like legally legally They can't be like, oh, this is the gay guy because then it's like, hey, man He's more than gay. I feel like most people say pat Some people have abbreviated and call instead of gay pat called you gat, which is pretty cool gp gp is cool gp's fire

Like porno, I will call me gay pat. I'm fine with that. Yeah, he gets guys who sign my checks. You can call me whatever you want Faggot pat Whatever you want. It doesn't thanks boss. Yeah. Thanks so much. Yeah. No, but um No, it doesn't matter. It doesn't fucking bother me. Everyone calls me pat now It bothered me a little at first, but then I was like, whatever if I can fucking get paid fine Yeah, so you you have on yourself. I like that. Yeah, I saw I basically give up my dignity For for painting you got to give up a little bit. Yeah, you always got to give up a little bit of dignity, right? Yeah, you know

Have you guys ever fought not physically but like argument. Oh, oh, yeah, we've had some spots. God have we fought really things reached They were actually glad you brought this up to a point in like November, but we've definitely gotten past it But it was just like uh, it was like don't downplay it. It was bad. Yeah, it was bad It's bad. It was bad like was it like November like did jet ski like my problem with Said no My problem with jet ski it was like can't go at my king like that. That's what I do No hate crimes. No hate crimes are committed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'm not trying to incriminate you. I'm just saying We don't want to we don't want to bring up. I kind of do want to bring it up

But the thing that's about jet ski that bugged me so fucking much. It was just little things like I have poor time management skills That's the understatement of the fucking decade the little thing and you can tell me if I'm being an idiot Getting videos done on time showing up on time like realizing. Oh, wow. It's crazy that you're saying all this Isn't this wild like if you say something is going to be done, right? I agree 10 minutes before it's supposed to be done Don't say oh, I need another fucking Whatever whatever my thing was I and I realized now that I was focusing on the wrong things And I should have been focused. Is this a mirror? I should have been focusing more on big picture

Because it got to be a little bit of like micromanaging. Yeah, but I should Where was I going? What did I just say? I was saying that he wouldn't get the stuff done And you kind of reached a boiling point, I guess right and then eventually like no And then eventually reached a boiling point eventually we were in the control room one morning And this poor fucking producer from sirius was filling in who doesn't really know us And I was being so passive aggressive. I was sitting there. I was swiping through our instagram jet skis on the other side I'm like, yeah video didn't get up

I'm looking through my god. Look at this one. This one's late. Jetsie's like, I'm not gonna do it with you I'm not gonna do it today And then we just fucking started screaming at each other willy and large looking at us through the glass and then like Jetski called a meeting we went into the back room We had a meeting and we basically just screamed at each other and then it was awkward for like Well until now Have you guys like apologized? No. Yeah, we've definitely quelled it was just like It's it's difficult. I'm sure you guys know like with editing videos and stuff

It's sometimes if you have a time Oh, I'm speaking your language. Yeah, if you have like a Deadline for something and it's it's a creative thing. You can't necessarily always adhere to it strictly because it's like if this thing Isn't good right now. I can't put it out. It's like at 12 30 if it's not looking the way I want it to look You can't always just be like I have to edit this faster It's just it's I don't know. It's a weird balance with with with creative work in my opinion, you know, you know But this was the first week Since I started here that I was on time every day two years

He's been working on time to work or with like a video. No on time to just showing up I'm a bitch really late late to life, but I'm also I think the last two months have been better So I probably would come in this the show starts at like seven I would a lot of times I'm moseying around like 750. I'm getting heated Just thinking about it right now. Oh man, go on but then again like I'm there a lot of times like really late at night. So I'm like I rationalize myself like I'll put the time back in I'll put the time back in right now Dude, me too. I do that shit all the time

But the things that would piss me off It would be like a video would be late and I'd like go to walk to his desk And he'd be at the fucking gym in the middle of the day Like the only editor who goes to the gym in the middle of the day in a video So that I can appreciate that believe me, but it's like what is the fuck is going on I would never leave if a video had to be up and I was like time crunch I would never be like god fuck this go to the gym. I promise you that never happened Pat just looks hot as shit now. We're fine. We're fine. No, but in a good way in a good way

Oh, like, you know what? I would get from Danny from Danny I would just get like like he would have to be in at nine and then it'd be like 10 15 He'd be like and he go up my alarm didn't go off and I'm like And and that would happen multiple times in a week and I'd be like, all right. Well, this you're fucking your iPhones iPhones don't fail That's what he says my alarm didn't go off. I'm like, how is that possible? Not possible. I sometimes accidentally I'm a big snooze guy

So I'll snooze like seven times and I'll accidentally just hit the alarm off and then I'll wake up And it'll be like fucking 20. I'll be 20 minutes late. Holy shit. And then you think your your whole world's coming What's the latest you've been to work? Well, one time I got you smashed. You know, he just hasn't shown up Well, that's because that would be days It'll be and this was like after we had our big blow up like I'm gonna be on time I'm gonna be on time and they just doesn't show up. That's not true I didn't show up one time And it was because I drank too much

Nyquil and I just didn't go through my alarm and I slept from like 10 30 to 12 and my girlfriend who works at the bar so with us Like was banging on my door at 12. She thought I was dead and I opened the door and she's like was balling her eyes out Grabbing like we thought you died. No one knew what happened. And I was like, oh, we did think you died So that was the one time I didn't show him. All right, Michael serious Yeah, I drank a lot of it and I was also drunk. I drank alcohol So that's what made you sleep See, I can't even blame it on anything now. Now. It's just pure laziness

Like I used to be able to blame it on drugs and alcohol and now it's just kind of like, you know, my bad I've all It's too embarrassed to blame it on the best it would just be like it would be like 10 30 And I'm like I was just not answering my text any bigger But yo my bad my alarm didn't go off and then I see on his story that he posted at like 4 30 a.m And I'm like, well, maybe if you fucking weren't up watching Random cringe compilations on youtube watching live leak trying to see people get in their heads. Yes, you know, I'm saying see Bomb go off at 4 a.m. Then 2020. I'm guilty. I'm guilty. Listen, me and you are very similar

Yeah, I feel the same like type a type b type a type b It makes sense. I could even tell because when joe walked in with the xlr cable. He meant business He was like, were you looking at it? were you Were you mad that dany? Why didn't you make dany go get the cable? Did you think I wasn't mad at all? About the xlr cable because like we all don't know where it was I was and I I knew that you guys were coming. Yeah, I knew that you guys were coming So I was like, I'm just gonna go get one because like whatever, you know

Might as well I don't think we've ever had a argument that I wasn't very I'm very receptive to criss because I'll know when I did something wrong Which is in a way a little worse because whenever I'm like, yo this this and this and this I have a problem with and he goes Yeah, you're absolutely right and then nothing happens I'm just like, all right. We'll fucking you know what I'm saying Do you have notes on videos or you just let whoever edits it? Well with podcasts, there's no notes because we don't edit anything And you just fucking you just cut a promo for the podcast and then you just put it out

Right, what don't you just cut like a promo like this? No, we just we do the podcast and then the other kid that was here also works here He cuts the clips cuts the clips. Yeah, so he walks and he watched walks He fucking watches it and then cuts like the best parts out got you So when it comes to barstool breakfast, right? Are you the alpha of the barstool breakfast crew the dom? Yeah, are you the dom control room dom or Or just all all dom. I would say willy's definitely the dom The all-encompassing don't he's the dom or the alpha. I don't know. I don't I feel we're calling wolfy. Wolfy willy dom

Willy's an alpha Yeah, willy's probably the alpha dom. I'm the dom of the control room. Okay. I'm the alpha the control But I don't have the power to be the alpha of The whole fucking thing she bang right because we want you want that you want it. Oh Because we all every single person on barstool breakfast has a type A personality Me willy large jetsy. No, I'm I'm very too much type B Type B is like disorganized like kind of just goes off off a whim. All right, everyone. Yeah. I'm beish. I'm be a shit

I like I go back and forth because I'm I there are so many times where I am type B and like it gets me like frustrated So I'm like, oh my god. So I go I go back to A and I'm like trying to be that and then we have consistent B Who I'm like when I'm trying so hard not to to fall into that because it was a long time Like when he first started working when we were working together that like we were just doing like the bare minimum And like pretending we were getting a lot done and like we weren't you gotta be around yourself How long have you been working together? Two years? Oh, so it's been a while and you found him online Yeah, and then you just built him up basically like through your brand to help build his brand

Well, I knew I knew of him through vine and then he had come in to do a spot on a podcast that I was like Producing at the time and then we just like became good friends through that and that and then I needed Like I was like, oh if I want to take this to the next level like I'm gonna need an editor to help me like Do all this stuff because like we're dealing with hours of footage And and I was also doing like weekly youtube videos and like another podcast So it was just a lot so I was like I'm gonna have an editor to come in but I don't want to pay some fucking random person Right, I'd rather like because editing a podcast isn't hard. You don't need to be like It's the easiest thing in the world. Yeah, it's literally just like whatever. Just tedious just time consuming. It's it sucks

Yeah, it's trash. I tried to do it because we we were back locking all these episodes that we're doing with guests and shit So I tried doing one and I got like 35 minutes in I was like, I can't even do this anymore Yeah, it's the worst thing and you just hate the people who were talking about Yeah, like fuck you. Fuck. I don't want to hear your voice. I zoom I zoom right through that shit now because I've done it like Probably close to a hundred times. Yeah, probably but like, you know, so it's like I'll do that shit real fast like a half an hour I could do like In 45 minutes it used to take me two hours to do a half an hour That's how it was when I started to and then I just gave it to jet ski. Yeah. Yeah, and then we just canceled the whole thing

Then eventually you build that up and then you fucking ditched it to somebody else Which is exactly, you know, but then I was just so undeniable That he had to put me on the show undeniable. Oh, you got you got brought on as an editor So, yeah, I brought him on as an editor just to edit the shows and whatnot and then when I We would do he would do spots with me He would do spots with me like every so often when I didn't have a guest or whatever because at the time I was just like, yeah, we'll just get this person or one of my friends or whatever And then I was noticing that the episodes that me and him were doing like it just felt way more fun

And a completely different thing than the podcast I was actually doing and then eventually I was just like, fuck it We're just gonna do us and that's it. There you go. So and here you are. How many have you guys done together to this to this day? Or was the first basement you are you two together? No, it was him. No, I did it. I started doing it like 2015 Yeah, like a while ago and then I think we've done maybe like 50 60 No, we've done like we started around 156 So like yes like 60 70. Yeah 67 episodes. Yeah

So you did 100 you did 150 like with basically just bringing on random guests and and shit like yeah Or some I would do by myself too. And what would that like run down be like just talk. Yeah, dude You're just tim Dillon it. Yeah, basically or like at the time it was bill burr And I was just like all right And I can even if I go back and listen to old episodes where I'm by myself I sound like bill burr because I was just like trying to emulate this person that I looked up to And and then I would just do it myself But a lot of the times I would try to get like one of my friends or like my brother to be on it

Just so I had someone to bounce shit off of yeah, but there was a lot of times that like there was no one available And I was like, all right, fuck it. All right, it would be like an hour This is tough. All right. We're recording. I'm here by myself. Yeah It was like an hour before it had to go out too and I'd be like, all right turn the mic on I got to do some shit You just talk. Yeah, it's fucked. I think that's one of the hardest things to do. It's insanely hard Look at like what francesa and like all these I mean, he's like a weird example But like even like fucking clancy at work like sometimes they'll just do two hours of radio alone Yeah, it's like who are you talking? It's insane to be able to just do stream of consciousness tim Dillon

Yeah, myself. Yeah, Tim Dillon. We had we actually he's we had him on the show. Yeah, I've known Tim Dillon for a while He's a big one. He's the funniest guy in the world. Yeah, it's funny dude I remember because I was working at elite daily and I had to uh, I was doing this series for them that I was producing And it was like green screen basically like guy code for millennial bullshit Um, and Tim was one of the people that like his name was on my desk of like because I had to go through all these New York City comedians and like pick out the best ones and then those are the ones So like Tim was like the funniest one that I could remember and then I was like, oh, shit Like whatever and we just became good good friends through that

Um, but when he was on he was actually telling me it's like hated everyone at bar still accept you a bar still at Italy daily accept you and I was like, all right He's honest. Yeah, he's fucking great. And he's like he's blown up so much too. Yeah, man Yeah, he's he's doing do rogan a couple times Tim's one of those people though like I felt like I always felt like tim is Like people who are just undeniably funny like they're gonna find their way, you know And that's why everyone loves him because it's like He's so funny that he deserves to be like like I have a really big audience and he doesn't yet

Everyone's like rooting for him, you know, and there's so many like comedians online that Comedians online people who people who get laughs because they know you're supposed to laugh at them You know what I mean? And then there are other people comedians like Tim Dillon who it's just like that guttural just like Laughter that's so genuine. Yeah Yeah Yeah, I see what you're saying the show the bar so breakfast so that you guys do You was that like your idea to be like, oh, we're gonna do like a morning show at 7am Or like was there a slot dedicated to that? There was a slot so they had to fill out like

Morning drive afternoon drive and then I found out they were doing that and I was like I want to produce this and they're like, okay And then you just picked everyone No, so there was like a big like audition process. We onboarded our talent We onboarded willy this girl Julie steward banks who got fired Friends who got fired and then large eventually came on and now there's new kid Brandon Yeah, but there was when we first staffed up the radio station It was a process like there were eight there was Erica and Dave having meetings with agents. Who do we who do we pick?

They're trying to like craft the image because you want to show that's not Superstructure, you don't have to feel like espn or any of these other stations But you also want to stay true to the brand So it was a weird like balancing act, but we I thought we hit the lottery with the people we have on our show Yeah, for sure And that's like I was a jet fan growing up and this guy that I watched like on tv every weekend is like yeah I'm like his boy kind of it's kind of it's kind of cool and large is great too large is the man They kind of have a cool dynamic

It when Francis got fired was it seemed like everything was up in the air for a second I was like, oh my god, what's going on with this show? But they kind of seem to recover from it. So it's cool. I mean, it's tough getting up in the morning, but uh I don't know. We get to Have interesting guests. We had fucking and you're like you're like kind of like a team within a team Yeah, exactly. Right. So it's like you get to like rep your own shit, which is like kind of dope I like that a lot and like it's a great dynamic because you get to Good team building. Yeah, great. Now I'm rocking zah. We are a little african midget who works with a zah

He made this shirt for the um, we have african there were cyclones in africa So he made this for the uh for the cyclones and to save the elephant. So I'm gonna get that Elephants are my favorite animal. Really? Yes. That's actually zah spirit animal, but he killed one once and he said that's like a It's his talisman or something like that. How do you kill an elephant? It was on like a A safari, not a safari hunt uh He called it an animal control case where these elephants were like trampling all the Crops in his village. So they sent all the men in the village to hunt this elephant and they killed him and him Well, he shot at I don't know if he killed it. He he shot

Yeah, I don't know how Yeah, they killed it with a gun. They gave him a gun. I think from what he said, it's adorable Holding a musket that's six feet tall. Yeah, right. Shoot this musket. How long has he been living in america? Um, I want to say he so he went to he's rich in uh in zimbabwe. He's like zimbabwe in royalty Apparently, which means you you family makes like fucking seventy thousand dollars, but it's 17 I mean, we're all rich in zimbabwe. We're all rich in zimbabwe. But uh, he went to school in tampa University at tampa. He has a master's in finance and he just called you the barstow fan

Just called up barstow radio one day because there was a caller that said that there's no black fans of barstow And he called in said no, there's black fans. I'm a I'm a black man from zimbabwe and Dave was like There's no way you're black from africa listening to the show So Dave flew him in and gave him a job and told come on the show and a green card And then he shows up to the office and he's this black african midget He jumped up on a table and started roasting everyone that he thought wasn't funny or didn't uh do their job Good enough and Dave hired him and he's been there. Look at that. I guess for the last three years Good for him. Yeah, damn dude. That is quite the resume there bad ass

You just have to be a freak to get hired at barstow. Yeah, you have to have enough you have to be Like deformed like mantis like a midget You know who mantis is? Yeah, the guy came with the backwards body. Yeah He pulled his body on backwards. He's fucking wet from three though. He's got a sick jumper. Really? I hate you know, we we've talked about this Yeah, we have all right, uh He's figuring out a way to word it in a way that's not gonna like hurt him. All right. So here's the thing right? So like listen, you just say it so we we remember that kid back in the day

That was like I got hot as a pistol and like hit all those threes Yeah, you remember that kid. Yeah, so there was like this kid who he was special needs kid He had some stuff and he was like a team manager sm. Yeah, yeah, yeah Uh, so they put him in the game starts banging threes So he airballs like the first one and the coach is like, oh man, I embarrass this kid. Then he just starts Bang it. Yeah, I think he had like 40 points or something. I hear like 15, but he hit like six in a row wet wet at what point Do I got a card this kid you start deeing up on him? I think third three

I think if he makes three shots, you can go out. Yeah, because like now I'm getting bamboozled Tricking us with this kid the second he made I played mantis in a horse. Yeah, I didn't let him score. No I didn't let him score. I went under the hoop and I did Five layups in a row because I knew his body couldn't bend that way. Yeah, she's kind of like I just did fuck It's it's like his back is inverted. So like his he doesn't know what it is He he makes a joke, uh, when he got hired through barcel idol his first opening joke was I have like this He basically like gave this very heartfelt message for the first like 20 seconds. I have this uh condition It's plaguing my entire life. I don't know like what's going on in my body

It's called bds big dick syndrome. My cock is so big that it inverts my back through my ribs or something That's what he said. That's what it really looks like his rib cage kind of push out. He's the nicest kid He's the man, but how's his cock though? Is it legit? Oh big Peckles it's a I it's all right. I've seen better. You seem better. You seem better. We're gonna get into that real soon That was I was giving you a layup. Yeah But he has like an undiagnosed uh physical condition that just like somehow makes him wet from three Just somehow makes him like that's kind of messes up his back, but he's wet from three. He's got like a three-point like scoliosis Exactly three points. We also were talking about how like there was that one kid that had like his his like right leg

Like always turned in but he had a nasty jumper. It was just so weird. Yeah. Yeah, I remember him. Yeah There was always one kid in every school. Yeah, like a Like but it keeps going with the ugliest jumper and he's shot from like down here He's like plus shot and he was just wet. When dad was the coach When did the trend of like not that it's a bad thing at all of like anybody who's letting like disabled kids or kids with like Any type of special needs stuff we say stuff special stuff When did that like viral trend start? Was it always a thing like in the 90s? Did they let these kids like get a chance of the man definitely not because I think it's an internet thing

No, because in the 90s everyone was like, oh, you're not making it People were so mean Yeah, in the 90s that was not gonna happen, but I think eventually Eventually, I think there was like a slow process of it being like, oh, we're gonna we're gonna Reserve a team manager spot for this kid that wants to be a part of the team. Yeah, I can't make the team he's not good enough and then Uh, you know, they start putting them in putting um these kids in the game And I mean, it's it's like cool to see but I do think there is like an internet element to the whole thing

You know, but also at the same time like I was telling him in the one situation where that kid ended up hitting like six or seven threes in a row It was like Dude, if I'm a coach, I'd be like I'm putting this kid out there at the start of every game Like if no one's gonna guard him because they're like worried. Yeah, but he's actually nice like use it to your advantage Let's go up hold nothing. Yeah Then we'll pull them out. Yeah, you know, they need to shoot some free throws with the fucking genius We'll do a little switch. So I'm saying that's coaching. That's all I don't know how I would feel though

If they were like, hey, you want your kid to run for a fake touchdown. Yeah, I don't like that. Yeah, that's dude I don't I don't know. It makes I don't I'm very because it's too obvious It's too obvious like if they're a child at like Notre Dame like running for a touchdown They don't that I like those are cool. Like the kid feels like yeah, and he's gonna run through like nebraska's like A hundred yards like that's cool. I'll cry if my son someone just truck stick some The kid then feels like at some situations almost like bad about themselves They're like self-aware that like they have like a disability then they almost would that's the only thing I worry about when there's kids who are like they were like 16 17 years old

And you know, they have like autism or something and they let them run for a touchdown like to me I don't want to like if they don't know it's fine. Yeah, exactly. I don't want them to know and then feel patronized Then you just or they want to patronize somebody like that's or you could be like that kid and like He got a little cocky He thought he was selling it. I thought he was selling he was like I got hot as a pistol And I was just like Okay, remember that movie. I was like, you know, nobody was playing defense

I will lock your ass You know what I'm saying, we'll see how hot you are if I come out there and fucking Shuffle in and fucking make my sneakers squeak. Did you shut you down? Do you have hide as a pistol kid right now? I would do the shit. I'd fucking body him. Yeah, you know crush. I'd crush him Remember that movie where Johnny Knoxville just played a retarded guy. Yeah, the ringer intended to be good It's are we allowed to say that you're allowed to say that on this pot. You guys are Remember that. Yeah, how fuck they know if he would it never Imagine another one. I now pronounce you chuck and larry

Two guys. How about this? Yeah gay stuff, right? Do you think hollywood now is like Do that, how do they portray gay? I feel like 10 years ago They portrayed gays like very over the top all gays are super flamboyant now. It's like it was Jeremy Piven and rush hour like that Yeah, oh my god Short in the wedding whatever the fuck right it's I think it's oh, I think Yeah, no, I think it's Fine. I mean, there's always that element of just building like regular gay guys boring

Like a regular of anyone you look at anyone who gets put on camera anywhere There has to be some elements that make some flair that makes them crazy The people who are going to get views and who are going to draw attention are going to be the most flamboyant guys or But it's but it's also like I know like there's literally people sitting in a room that'll be like, all right, this is good But we need a gay Right like they'll write like we're like we need a gay We need to get the date the gay demographic. So we're going to write in a gay. All right. There's money in it. Yeah

But it's just weird how much anything you see on tv more thought went into it than you obviously know Yeah And it's like I think hollywood though the way they're trying to portray Gay people now is not as like they're trying to they're trying too hard to make it normal. That's what i'm trying to say It's being gay isn't normal. Yeah, it's not it's not a Clip that I'm gonna whip that and be like he's gay So he's gay. He's gay

But you think about it out of however many billions of people on earth being gay is not the normal Thing to be and when obviously the word normal. Well, it's normal. I'm normal. No, it's like the life of sex, right? biologically More people are straight than they're than they are gay. So that makes that the norm So to force that into things just to have it at times it feels like patronizing Right, okay. Oh, we gotta get a gay. Uh, don't force it in It's like all the trans stuff now great. You want to be trans great? I'm all for it It is so fucking over saturated on tv and in every

On rate and just in everything it's everything is trans trans trans trans trans. This is gonna sound fucking terrible By the way, but you know what i'm trying to say i'm not trying to say pull it away I'm trying to say if it feels forced like it's coming down from like a network executive Someone else like we need to hit this demographic. Yeah, it's like you see a commercial There's always the black guy the aged woman. Yeah, the white guy this and that and now they're including a gay couple gay in it I guess yeah, which is fine. I literally I was walking through the airport and it was like a bunch of delta signs and it was like uh A black family a white family an interracial family an age woman and then a gay couple and I was just like

It was just it was just funny that i'm like, okay, there's what they're clearly We get it No one is upset about this or the we get that we're 13 reasons why if you watch that show the friend group is like There's an indian kid. There's an asian girl. There's a white guy. There's a gay kid. That's not how high school works Yeah, it's like prison You have a table you stay with your people. That's how it works. It's like chess club football team Black kids white kids asian kids and then shows like euphoria too. It's like I loved euphoria Euphoria euphoria was great. I'm not saying that

Sorry, it's a cocaine flashbacks. That's okay, but um euphoria. I was like, yeah, this is a really good show. It's cool But that story line felt forced did it not? Yeah, and I was like this is like this isn't school That doesn't that never happened. Aren't all the kids like poppin molly and xanex like in class But then it's also like Like is that what's happening now like is because I I honestly feel like I honestly feel that Like how the 60s are a sexual revolution blah blah blah I feel like the 2010s in a sense sort of sexual revolution Because like all this gay stuff came to the forefront and trans stuff all the trans stuff

And now it's like if younger kids are seeing this and it's really being portrayed that this is okay And it's normal to like explore your sexuality. Is that what's happening in high school? All right before we get to the rest of the episode let's get to the sponsor that we have real quick We have indochino which makes custom menswear. Okay, you get high quality suit fabrics You could pick the color pattern weight. You can customize it. It's it's great Your suit is made to your exact measurements So you end up with a perfect fit for the shape of your body Okay, any bodies come in many different shapes and they will customize it so it fits you perfectly

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You they were obviously gay, but they would never say it So it was like whole bunch of them. It was like it was like that But there was I never knew anyone who was trans at all and it was never like a thought in my mind Like I probably didn't even know I had two people in my class Yeah, but later on right later on Yeah, but not in high school. Yeah, but I only had a grade of like 120 people I really wonder how that is though because like to have uh, especially like You know, I mean, I'm 28 years old like it's not like anything crazy

But like when you're and no, but I'm saying like I'm not that far removed from high school I'm not that far removed from high school But even back then I would I wonder how it would play out if there was a trans person in my Class like would it be Weird like would they would people say things or would like back then? Yeah, I wonder and it wasn't even that long there probably was But they probably weren't emboldened enough right to be themselves right now It's like all we're so inundated with everything on tv all the time

That like now you think that there's more but maybe it's just people Being themselves. I sound like an old man when I'm no, but you're right because that's exactly what it is Like once they came to the forefront of like, okay, uh gay marriage is legal and you know All this trans stuff is being like all of it like all of it's great. Like cool. Yeah, we should be more accepting like To the idea of like straight guys and then gay guys don't say anything and like that's all we have like obviously that's not real So now it's like good that there's a good mix of things, especially like everyone should be themselves like obviously um, but I think it the only reason why

It is happening more where it's like, okay, there is like a bunch of gay kids in my class I was like, you're just aware of it now because they're not afraid to say that they are right Like when I I graduated in 2007 I would never Dream of like fucking I didn't even come out in college. Was there openly gay kids in you guys like high school experiences? There was any openly gay couples. I mean no no openly gay couples, but there was like two openly gay kids and they took Hell yeah, like they got bad. Yeah destroyed now like I ran into one of them a while back This kid scott who lives in new york and I was like, buddy

I was like, I'm right here with you scottie. You get over here. What do you say? That was just high. I mean he was still like but yeah, but he also couldn't have hit it I mean, there's a gayest kid in the world. You know what I mean, right? See like So so I gotta ask ask it how old was your first gay experience? Like Young really yeah experience. Yeah. What do you count as a gay experience? Like made out like made out would have made out like nothing like nothing weird happened. It's probably like

Fifth grade, maybe damn you made out with a kid in fifth grade. Dude. We're jacking each other off in fifth grade. Wait, what wait? I wasn't even jacking myself. We made it. We made it. What the fuck? Okay, so this kid who it was like Wasn't this sounds fucked, but we like kind of like fooled around in like second and third grade Oh, wow. Remember when you said this sounds fucked you were right. Yeah, it does it does it is fucked But we wouldn't like it was just nobody was just like a little like Like touchy like a little much and then like we got to middle school and we would like Jack each other off, but we didn't come yet. Right. So it was in middle school. So it didn't count right, okay?

It wasn't gay. Okay, so if it's not gay if you don't come. Yeah, then my first come gay experience Yeah, your first come gay my first come gay was senior college senior my first cg was senior So you're getting jacked from fifth grade Now is that kid gay now openly or is he I don't know, but I've run into him a few times at home and I've been like you remember Wait, so he's a straight dude though. Yeah, but like he moved away But I'm like what was that movie that came out and won all those awards Where those dudes like jacked each other off on the beach What what but Marshall Ali was in it

Oh, it was oh, that's kind of what you guys it was like based in la or something And he was a gay dude coming up from like the streets of la. Yeah. Yeah, I don't remember But I don't know I mean watch it sounds like your story though It does the green book That it was the green buff wasn't there was no the green book is how black people got through the south Right, yeah, which is similar plane of piano, which is definitely similar to getting jerked off in the fifth grade So did you guys like did you guys if you see him now? That's crazy? Do you guys talk? I don't fucking see I so I heard he was home

Last time I was home And I went on grinder if you like it's their chance of this fucking kid. He's hot Oh, is he really? Yeah, he wasn't cuz he's not gay. He was a child Do you think that's a common thing Kids are gross. Yeah You never jerked off with your buddies when you're younger. No, but I had I had it I didn't jerk off my buddies, but I had a kid totally molest me when I was like in fifth grade I had a kid. I had a kid not like molest me. He touched my dick. I had a family

Yeah, it was weird I basically my brother Mike saved me. Yeah, I had the same exact same thing said like reverse situation So I was it was like a family friend We don't obviously talk to the family anymore and the kid was like you want to come see my new club my clubhouse underneath my bed And I was like, yeah, he like we played golden eye. I thought it was gonna be cool to be board games I think it's like that showed me his dick and he's like, let me see yours and I was like no And then he tried to grab an edge ran away Mine was my mom doesn't know that so I hope you guys listen to this because she'll be

Talked about the vice-principal the one to fuck me in my ass, but No, no, I did have a vice-principal try to try to court me though Court yeah, yeah, he courted a lot of flowers. It's he's yeah. How are you Danny? He's a text me at 11 o'clock at night He's a text me at like 11 o'clock at night and ask me what I was doing and write me like birthday letters and shit What the fuck yeah, so we were at a family friend's house. You did it. Everyone was in the pool twice. No, but uh, no, no Yes Now now we don't know yeah now. No, I like to be people guessing at this point, but that story is true

so we were at a family friend's house and He was like, hey, what's up? Like come downstairs. I want to show you something on my computer He was few years older than me. That's how it starts a couple dudes just sucking each other's cocks on the video Yeah, yeah We're down there just a couple of guys. No, I don't know like you're in the pool and he was like, hey What's up? Like I want to show you something video like suck and dick and I was like And then me I'm like sixth grade. I'm like, yo, bro. This is gay I'm like, oh, I turn around his cocks out. He's just smashing it. Oh, yeah

Jesus. Yeah, did you tell anybody? Did you tell you like your parents? Yeah, it's all my brother like immediately I probably yeah, no, it was it was just one of those things. I was like, yeah I was kind of weird and then I saw him in a McDonald's like Bob doesn't believe you 12 years later. I want to be like Showed me your dick. You're gonna fuck me in the ass. I know you were Jesus. That's so crazy I know my first CG. I met the guy off Craigslist CG Craigslist. Yeah, there's a gay underworld Fuck dude. It's insane. It is insane. The first I remember watching the Lifetime movie Craigslist Killers and being like, oh people get laid off this Everyone gets one murder part that didn't murder us. I'm gonna be fine Yeah, it's an Amherst, Massachusetts. No one's gonna kill me in Amherst

So I went on Craigslist. This is pre-grinder 2010 and I met a guy who's an RA At a college and college and I went to his dorm and he looked nothing like his pictures Was he still good-looking? He was good-looking. No, clearly. He was good And I was just like, all right, I'm here might as well do it anyway And then he just sucked my dick and then I walked out of and then I walked out of that room And I was like that was like my test to see if I was gay I walked out of the room and I was like And then and then it was just tense right here. Did you hook him? Did you hook up with girls before that? Yeah a lot

How many girls? I like like No, I never had a girlfriend. I've had sex with three girls. Yeah. Do you come? One. The other two, no. I had a faked one. I was like Do you fake it? I faked it. I pretend to come my hand. If it's like a whiskey You come in your hand. I pretended to come in my hand because I couldn't come. This girl was like Oh, I was like really drunk and getting like losing my my dick I was I was kind of like getting whiskey dick and I was like rather than have this girl think I'm impotent I'll just pretend to like come in my hand. No, because then they think it's something with them. Yeah, like what's wrong?

I'm like dude. I'm just drunk on my dick. I've had a fifth of vodka. That's what happened. My penis isn't gonna work This girl who I lost my V2 was in the front seat of my mom's Chevy trailblazer and I went to Pound down. Oh really? This is like 45 minutes trying to make myself come and I just didn't and I looked at this is gonna be pretty graphic I don't know if I should tell it. Well, you're gonna tell it and I was like noodle dick I was we're in the trailblazer now noodle dick drunk and I looked down. I'm like, what is that? Oh, no And she and it was she pulls out just a fucking bloody pad

Oh, she was on her period, which is a natural thing that many women do. Yeah, but as a closeted gay man That shut the door for me. Yeah, that's what I was like. That was your first CG I was like that was the turning point. So when did you know? You definitely beat up some gay kids in school. Oh, I never beat up any gay kids. No I You said you were closeted at that point what how old are you and you were like, yeah, I'm gay Like before the RA sucked your ding dong I'm trying to think like a lot of a lot of people have it like mapped out like this was the day that I came out

You were in like third grade and you're like, oh, man, I'm no No, cuz I didn't know it was like I remember like towards the end of college I had the realization where I was like I would watch porn and it would be straight porn And you just watched it and I'd be like, oh, I'm just watching the guy And I'm like, alright, and then I was like what actively watching gay porn So I was like, okay, this is probably an indicator that I'm gay Yeah, and then I was just like towards the end of senior year. I was like, alright I'm gay now. I just hit it for another two years two three years and then I eventually it's so interesting when you say it like

That because usually like you said people are like, oh, I knew since I was in like third grade or whatever But I'm now I'm trying to put myself in the mind of someone trying to even figure that out because how old are you? 30 right so 30 years old because what we're same age, right? So back in the day where it wasn't super acceptable. Everyone's like, well, I'm not I'm not gay I'm just like young I don't really know figuring it out like blah blah blah because like you said in like fifth grade Like you don't know if you're fucking out or not. I blacked it out because it was too painful People ask my coming out sir all the time and I like vaguely remember but it was just so Horrific to do yeah, but I just don't even have like I told my mama on the way to CVS. Yeah, it was in a car

I think I got multiple cars. All it was weird. All I did was cars. Yeah, I did one on coming out in cars Would be your next coming out comedians and comedians coming out in cars Closeted people to come All straight I had my brother then my mom then my sister then my dad and then I was just worried about my buddies. It's like my family All right, they'll be fucking fine, but I was worried about my buddies because they're all just dirt mass juices dirt bags Talian kids. Yeah, Irish kids. It's like and it's like well, maybe it's not like where you guys are Similar long island all Irish and times, but they were fucking bunch of jet skis around

Bunch of gay bashers around was anyone just like I fucking knew you were a guy. No, no Oh, you know what? I had one friend my buddy. You know my buddy Dave the cop This kid is like the most emotionally intelligent. He's a fucking dart bag biggest scumbag. I know what you were fucking gay He would he is he is so funny like he was in the Marine Corps out He's just like this next level of emotional intelligence and humor and I remember like towards the end as I was getting ready to come out He'd be like you're gay and I was like Like my life just like flash for me. I was like no, no, no, no, no, and then I came out. He's like dude I knew

Everyone else in my life not a single person. That's crazy. Wow. It was wild Only one person. Yeah, and I have one nose. What's it like this? This is a statistical breakdown of like how many people per? I don't know five guys are gay, right? Well, it's one and four right now. Yeah I often try to think of like I feel like someone in my friend group is got it is gonna be gay I come out gay has to be right or had a gay experience or something. Yeah, that's the thing. That's the thing that I'm interested I feel like most people have had some sort of fucking gay experience or maybe that's just a gay fantasy No, I've had gay dreams. I don't talk about it on the show again. I see I definitely think it's a ganasai

You've had a ganasai. No, I'm saying I think you're having a ganasai of being like straight dudes will like try it I can't tell you how many I'm sure you probably like had like hooked up with straight dudes, right? Yeah, like when we were like, but then you wonder if you're doing that when you're 24 25 How many of these guys are straight? Yeah, how many are fucking just don't know they're gay yet, so you are not gay It's like alright, dude, whatever my dick's in your mouth. Yeah I do I do another podcast show cuz all the people's lives I mean did this one episode where because we like anonymously call people and they like tell their story whatever and there's just one guy that Strictly for I mean for as much as he can will

exclusively hook up with straight dudes who are like straight in Monogamous relationships with right and and hook up with them and I'm like is that Something that gay dudes like go out of their way to be like, you know what I'm gonna Go after a straight guy. I think I don't like the like trophy hunting. Yeah analogy of it I think that feels so predatory and weird But it's like definitely a culture and like a thing But like I've hooked up with guys who've had girlfriends who tell me they're straight and I'm like you're not straight We just had sex. Yeah, you're not I don't believe that straight guys hook up with other guys

You have to be a little bit gay to do that. We just we talked about this like last week You have to be a little bit gay. You can't compartmentalize where I said the hypothetical if I said to Joe I said, you know if I come to you and I was like, you know last night. I got like messed up. I got a little tipsy. I Let this guy suck my dick. I Go, are you gonna think I'm gay and he was like, no, I would think you were bi but that's a little bit gay But I he's definitely a little bit gay. Yeah, sure. I'd be like, all right Well, he's not like fully like oh, I'm exclusively gonna hook up with women I'm open to the idea of hooking up with a guy because like the the act of talking to a dude

Like all night and like feeling some sort of motion towards him enough to where you're going to leave in the same car Go back to your apartment or whatever that day So it's like all of that is like whatever But if you if if you have like a gay experience and then you're like, I'm not really into it or whatever the case may be Or maybe you only have like two your entire life. You're still Let it's like, you know, obviously they say had like sexuality spectrum like you're still Like leaning towards straight more than I think it's just I think it's just people are more open to it And it goes back to what we said before because it's less like stigmatized people like oh people who are on the fence

Ten years ago who might add a few drinks and then like talking to a gay guy now be like Yeah, cuz a lot of times on this show like we'll talk America's about the good gay America gay forever for what I Think I think it's just like funny to see like dudes who it's like kind of ironic how dudes are super masculine And like yeah, and they're afraid to even be like like yo Chris Hemsworth is fucking hot and they be like Right, you're like, but I think there's way there's way less of that than there used to be yeah No, there is but it's crazy that it still exists because there are there are times on the show like we'll do stuff like that

Like we'll say you are you I feel like you're holding back I'll tell you I feel like you're holding back to try and be to try and be respectful and I don't want you to Let all the questions out now. It's like, you know Your cub it's fine. You're hooded cup. I'm a hooded cub Hooded cub up here and down there Yeah I am circumcised of Irish Fly you guys will have immutilated. That's crazy. I do think it's

I wish I was I think my dick would be bigger if I wasn't It's not an attractive quarter inch of skin. Yeah, yeah, but I'm your lobe But if I said like if I you know, I can make it I can turn it and make it look You could turn your dick. Yeah, when you take a picture of your penis you do mean turn it you take a picture You got no I'd ways like I like it's like a big do you take a picture of your penis flat down? No I turn my I turn my cock to the side. I go I go in Because you get the extra girth because you get the vein of your dick. I'm in the pic Wait, so you hold it against your thigh and like no, no, no, I'll do it from here

And I'll rotate it. Okay, so perfect angle prop it up So she can see the length and then she can see the length But I'm holding it at the base because it's also making it look like bigger you squeeze it a little bit Yeah, we know then you get the vein going through the middle and boned up Now you got like an extra quarter inch of a fucking thick cock. This is science has went into this You should have you ever been circumsumed because you're not circumcised. Hello. No, my dick game is way too good That's why though, but like even if the girl sees it for the first time say what is that? No I've never had a girl I ever say that I've actually had many people tell well

Many people do you go Trump? Many people I've had people say that my penis is a very attractive. I have a very good-looking nice I'm happy like everyone gets that I get that thing every so often. Yeah, but I feel like there's some Yeah, yeah, and there's and there's some girls though that'll be like when you're with them They'll be like, you know your dick was amazing and you had such a pretty cock Yeah, girls girls love to say like Dick give a pretty dick. I'm like, oh, thanks I would rather hook up with a guy who's ugly with a great dick than hot with an ugly dick. Yeah

Yeah, right. Yeah, what would make it ugly? Misshapen like Bulbasay bad proportions if the the head is really it's that the shape of the head it determines a lot If it's too pointy. Yeah, if it's too Wide I hear you flat. I agree like the French have very pointy dicks the French Is that a real thing? Yeah, French have very pointy dicks French's dicks are like a A triangle so I guess the doctors out there are just kind of yeah, they're cutting the Irish have good dicks I think Irish have traditionally I sometimes beautiful dicks. I thought small I was told it's an Irish called the Irish. I mean, I have a small dick

The Irish curse is having a small penis. I have a small penis. I mean don't get me wrong My dick is small, but it's pretty. I have one of the most mediocre max of all time a very very mediocre penis What is the I think you've said before um People from like the Middle East have the big have the biggest cocks in your opinion. They do have Middle Eastern Middle Easterners Wow have big old hogs Indians have huge hogs. Oh, actually no Indians hogs Indians hogs aren't that Big I've seen both. I've seen a big Indian hog And a little in a little pig, but I'm looking up with it

I was hooking up with a 24 year old Indian guy recently He was straight, but his hog wasn't big, but it looked big in the pictures Going back to what I just see later Thank you for the whole hog Breakdown I blacked out. I blacked out what happened. I don't know what's happening. Um, it was actually also Uh, fucking um when we went to barstow and we did the Breffer show and then we were on barstow gold We had your grinder account and the categories on that thing were just unreal. I was fucking because there's like pause Pause yeah, there's people who are which I which I found to be interesting

Pause we don't shame here though. No, we don't and pause means h. I'm gonna fucking fire it up right now See if anyone's here. I know I'm good. It's h. Ip positive Danny's His face like not even hiding. Yeah, um the exact described dick pic I found that to be fucking interesting though Do you just can't literally every time that you hop on because I have talked to a gay a gay guy one time When I was on set and shooting and he's like, you know how like guys think about sex all the time That's gay dudes, but they just like can act on it. So that's why like grinders like feet like they're 200 feet away It's like, all right cool. Sup. Come over. Yeah. Yeah, it's yeah. Yeah. No, you hit the nail

When you open that app pretty much it I'm here right now when you open that app you you match every time probably No, well, it's not a match. It's a grid Okay I got my preferences up. So if I shut my preferences off, I'll get a whole new batch Just a message. Oh, so there's no matching. It's like someone in your area. You message them They determine if they want to answer back or not. Yeah, so it's just like it's essentially like a fine friend So like I have right now. I have it on 18 to 30 18 so yeah But you would bang an 18 year old, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I have 18 to 35

That's the only filter I have on but like I could turn on a tribe. Can you do one mile a try? What's a tribe? Let's get to know this neighborhood a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. There's a 19 year old on here It's big. I could turn on like a jock Looking for you have advanced filter. The advanced filters are kind of fucked up You have like photos weight height position body type ethnicity. You can sort but you can sort like top bottom See none of that you can do by race dating app. You cannot show you cannot sort by here You want to look at the neighbor short by race on but you've clicked on a guy getting mad That's fine sucks. We pay for the atlas version

Dude, it's expensive. It's like 20 bucks a month for an atlas version of this. You're out there fucking though. Yeah Like this guy is hot, but he's young. He's not 19. That's a lie. That's a dad. Yeah. Yeah, that's a that looks like Hugh Jackman Yeah Here I just shut off. I just shut off the filts. Go ahead. That's an older guy. All right. Let's see if you don't Don't look at that. Do me a favor. Don't look at the messages. No, no, no, no, no. I was not going to do that Don't worry about it. Well, this is a big old boy here Let me see. Yeah, that's a big man. That's a big man. He's floating in a pool. Big belly lover That's a cub. There's no real pools around here. This guy kind of looks like you if you were blonde and like

I guess gay Okay Some of these names are Oh, there's an obedient. There's an obedient So if I was feeling particularly dummy today, I might hit up the obedient sub. What's b2? What else to say? I just like by their name. It says b like squared or something. I don't know. Oh, maybe there's two people Oh, these are user names. Man, dude, you guys are fucking. Oh, yeah, see here a story of bi. Oh, there's a bi how old swipe up

On click on them. Just swipe up Uh, wait, wait, what? Click on him. Click on him. Oh, yeah, click on him. Uh, he's this turns into me just wait. Oh my god, and it has a last tested Yeah, just so this is so this is why it's crazy It's because there's height weight ethnicity body type looking for hiv status and last tested Wow, you got to make sure the last test that should be on all things. Yeah, it should be on all things tinder I went yesterday two days ago to the fucking Of the dock clean nice

neg Maybe we not positive That's fucking on there all the time We're gonna do this You got three guys here. Fuck Mary kill. Oh, I would love that. Okay. I have a feeling this is gonna be a promo He's probably he's not gonna marry him because they're already having problems at work Mary kill Would you say a Nordstrom deal comes up?

Oh, yeah, you've gotten over it. Yeah, we've gotten over it. We've called them. Yeah, for sure This is tough. Yeah, yeah, because I got to work with jet ski. Yeah Because I got to see this guy tomorrow unless you kill him But then you're out an editor That's true that I'm out an editor, but then I could get chef Donnie in and he's really hot one He's the hotter version of jet ski. Nice, but Jesse's got a better. I mean, I think obviously I married Danny, right? Yeah, I'm a very marryable man married man. Yeah, he's a cuddly guy And I have the kill. I mean, I'm on your podcast. So, you know, you want to

Is Joe your type repay? Am I your type? No Also, no, so what's your like actual sucks? I think there's a hype thing here No, I think I would I would have to kill jet ski just because I know him too well I would fuck Joe and then I would marry Dan I would have to kill I've thought about killing jet ski. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's how it works That's almost fantasy in itself. Whereas fucking joe's probably a little bit. I would killing me as a fan You've probably come harder from killing me than you went for fucking joe. Oh 100% I jerk off on the body

Yeah, yeah, so you probably see a therapist is for that. Sure. So Maybe I'm just maybe it's like Aaron Hernandez barstle pat And Bill Cosby Right there that's kind of where it goes Our Kelly's falling down. Would you have a specific type where it's like I'm gonna look for this first Then if nothing's popping off because I feel like with grinder, correct me if I'm wrong Very hard go over on there You'd be it's literally it's so shallow it all comes down to the pictures you take

Like if I use a picture that I it depends on the picture if your pictures look good You'll get laid if they don't you won't like gay guys will have no problem telling you on grinder. Nope. Not my type Yeah gross blah blah, but my type. They'll say gross. Oh, dude. They'll say fucking gross God gay people are mean dude. It's the worst my type. I don't know like so you've bashed someone and be like, hey, what's up? No, like you're fucking gross get out of here like gross not my time. Yeah Dude gay people are mean. There's a lot of body shaming. Oh, that's kind of that's kind of fire in a way though I've lost straight business. It's you know the thing is you know where you stand. Yeah gay people do not hold back No, no

And they will fuck though. Yeah, listen I'll fuck. Yeah, we know if you want me to fuck. I'll fuck I'm gonna say a number and I just want to know if it's over or under Okay, 20 For what? Fucking Are we talking bj's or just or fucking? P and b

Oh over Wow Dude, I've done Keep going. Oh stop it dude. I don't know. We're good. What are you doing? You're just out of maze by 30 30. I've been in the game for a while my friend. You don't understand when you 30 when you over 40 over are you kidding me 60 over and over Dude, I'm gonna do that fuck so much 100 champion 100 Uh, I don't know

I didn't know he was out there in the streets like this It's been accumulated over a long period time when you're like 22 and you got to get it when you're closeted You will go to any lengths to get it and you can and you're constantly trying to fuck Like over the course of my career do my low jobs. My respect level is gone. Fuck the food To the roof bj's Fucking 200 well over 200. What since I was give or take though I bet both mutual bj's are probably a huge mutual bj's

How do you do that? How do you do that? Does one go? Do you have to come first or you little side actually lay on your side? Oh, okay. Let's take turns. Yeah, because up and down would be a little dangerous. It would be dangerous You're a dagger. You're also a taller man. Right. Yeah Now I feel like now I feel like a whooer. I respect your cock. I do. I respect your gay penis. Thank you Thank you You fucked way more than any of my straight friends. That's for sure. Yeah Straight people don't fuck like that. Uh-uh, sorry whenever I hear people. Oh I fucked 15 people. I got 15 lojas or whatever. I'm like, you don't even know my friend

Who the hell bragged about getting 15 lojas? I don't know I don't really know. I probably made that up. That's insane. You started at 20. I went to 100 and he was like, well, I don't know Have you ever sat down try to do the math? So I had a sheet of paper that I kept in my wallet This was probably when I was No, but here's the fucked up Like oh, he has it. No, I don't have it. Oh, I wish I did That would have been like one of those long things I was younger. I was probably 21 22 and I was so paranoid of getting a disease that I thought if I write down the names

God will protect you of the people I hook up with at least I'll know who I can trace it back to of course If anything happens, that's smart. So the sheet filled up And I just had like such shame over all these people that I was like, okay I'm just gonna throw the sheet out and then I just stopped even I would get that piece of paper and get it put on a shirt Oh my god, and I didn't have people ask you. What is that? Just be like kill count Confirm kill count. She's like who's Caesar January 25th, right? But like a lot of people you don't know this is fucked like a lot of people you don't know Much about them like when you're younger and you're trying to hook up. Yeah

So like I would have a note on there. It'd be like Chris rink And it was like chris who I hooked up with in the rink The ice rink I used to work in an ice rink. Yeah, you drove the zamboni, right? I did drive the zamboni You were boning on the zamboni wasn't boning on the zamboni. That would have been lit Zamboni But there's a lot of beaches not really a lot of fucking right, right? Thank god for ice rinks, right? Yeah, it's a great place to get sucked I'd love to get sucked in a rink. That's fantastic. Get that freon. Yeah

Oh, Jesus Christ, this is one of the greatest days of my life, I think Is that a little too real? Is I a little too real with you guys? No, we're friends. All right, like we're actually friends Yeah, so like I would expect for you to be honest with me. I mean, I got to ride in a cab back with jet ski I'm gonna get kicked out of this fucking move of evil Yeah, but like see like I feel like in an environment Especially at bar stool. You guys are kind of labeled as before Anti-gay, right? Yeah. I'm misogynistic. Misogynistic anti-gay, right?

Um Has there been a shift in there that you like noticeably see it? But I feel like you guys still stay pretty true to who you guys are A shift in terms of just in terms of like content that you would put out or content that somebody would write Because I know like obviously france has got fired for that thing, but that's I get that right But like you never had to sacrifice any content Because you didn't have to worry about like oh with the gay community or do other Oh, no for me personally. No, I've gotten flak from the gay community from dms and shit for stuff that I've written

Yeah, but a lot of that comes from like I'm sure you guys know online just a vocal minority Yeah, like people don't there are certain factions of the gay community that think I'm playing a part or I'm not gay enough or I'm not what does that even mean? Exactly, they think oh, he's trying to be broy and mask because he's at bar stool And it's like I'm just literally just fucking these dudes fuck the hundred butts. What are you talking about? What do I have to do? How much gay or can you get? Come on? But other people I don't think anyone else has had to curb what they do either like I don't I obviously don't make anyone uncomfortable

Like the only noticeable difference was like people stop saying fag in their blogs, but that's just because of the times That's not because of me. Right. Yeah Yeah, because that that's and that that was also just like an interesting thing too because like I was saying like Back in the day and what I was talking about before where you were talking about like Oh, I didn't know until like my senior year of college And you were like well I I noticed that I was watching the guy and then I was like watching gay porn and then I was like, okay I don't know why I did this. I was like you're watching gay porn

um But it's just like it's interesting because if you try to put yourself in that frame of mind of being like you have You are not sure wait my frame of mind are being gay of being like you don't but you don't know if you're gay So you're trying to figure it out and you're like, oh, well I'm watching porn and then you notice like Oh wait, I'm only watching the guy and then it's like, oh wait I'm whatever and you kind of have to just like make I 100% need a penis in my porn. I recognize guys. Yeah, by Dixon point. That's hot. I don't watch James Dean I don't watch lesbian porn. Yeah, I can't I'm not coming to that

I need somebody to come on somebody. Yeah, I need to see this deck. Do you time it? Yeah, I've synced up comes. Yeah Yeah, I've synced up my comments. I always skip the blowjob part though. It's very boring Blowjobs are like, come on dude get up in this butt get up in this vagina Maybe a little s vagina. Maybe a little you know face f Faces are hot. You like a skull fuck. I like spit stuff. What are you talking about? Like spit in my mouth? Yeah, I've never done that. You think that's hot? I can just grow my mouth fucking

I'll eat a girl's ass, but I won't let her spit in my mouth. No, no, no, no, you spit in their mouth You don't receive the spit spit. No, I'll take it. Will you? Yeah I'll do it You'll eat her butt though. Yeah, I mean, I'll 100% need a butt. I'll definitely care about that I gotta show you a picture from my my aids test yesterday. What does that mean? As if you had eaten ass. He's like eating the doctor's butt. You can get aids from eating ass. No, wait, can you? This is what was on the wall. That might think ass play can

Whoa, first of all on the tongue. That's the doctor's office. It says cardi B It says cardi B Someone wrote cardi B on the tongue and then there's like a tongue emoji next to like a peach emoji And it says ass play can spread diarrheal Infections. I real so you can get re re among among gay men and other men who have sex with men. That is weird Wait, so if I eat a girl's butt No, I won't get a friend diarrhea. Wait. Is this like just a straight up gay doctor?

The chelsea health clinic. Oh, I want to I send you straight up Yeah, because like it's a health. It's like where you go get tested and shit. It's not like a doctor But if they have doctors it's actually because this is geared strictly to gay men The whole place is geared strictly to not strictly but mainly towards gay men and I remember last year I had had sex with a girl who I didn't use a condom and she was definitely Kind of in the streets and pat and za convinced me that I had aids It was a hooker and she was not she was not a hooker. She just was kind of loose and Pat's telling me you should go get tested. You don't know what's going on like

Do you feel anything because I'm in the mindset I'm like sweating thinking that I have like hiv or something like that and then za our little african friend is like Wayne jesky, you know, six of my uncles have hiv. I don't I'm not realizing Yeah, because they live in fucking zimbabwe where like that's very prevalent Yeah, so I freaked out I go into this clinic and I'm sitting there and I get called in I'm like talking to the doctor and he sees me like visually shaking and he's like, uh, what's wrong with you? And I was like, I think I have something I think I might have hiv and he's like, are you gay? And I was like, no, he's like, have you been doing heroin?

And I was like, no, he's like who you've been having sex with and I was like mainly white women And he's like, you don't have AIDS I was like, you don't know that and he was like, yeah, he's like, trust me You're not gonna have it, but you might but you're not gonna have it And I was like just prick my fucking finger and he pricked my finger and I think it's two dots for Positive and one for negative. Yep, and I get I see the one dot pull up and I'm like, oh my god That's second dot pulls up. I'm jumping out this window But the second no second dot came up and I was good. Yeah, so it was beautiful

Back out here eating butt back out here. How many times have you thought you had hiv? I have a habitual problem of every time I've had like a sex without a con with a girl I think I have like yeah hiv every time and I get tested. I've never had it clearly But uh, like really thought that I might have gotten some probably four times. Yeah, I mean either you ever been burned No, my penis has been relatively clean. I've never been burned either either by and I don't know how I have There was one time that I thought I was like because it like burned when I peed I was like, oh god Like what the fuck's going on or I originally I thought like I have a UTI which I've had in high school because I was like I didn't watch like my fucking pants for football or some

Shit. Yeah, so like I knew how that felt. So I was like, I was like, damn that kind of hurt. No, I don't even have that So then I everybody's got that everyone's got human papilloma better. I know that I don't which is crazy But like anyway, so I I it like burns. I was like, what the fuck is going on? So I went to the doctor and I thought I had a UTI so I was like, okay So I'm going there and then they tested my pee and they're like, oh, you don't have that and I was like Oh, well, you thought you had a disease. Yeah, because I was like, what the fuck because at that point I was like, wait What the fuck so then he's like, do you want to do a blood test? I was like, yeah Oh, like fucking run it right and then suck me and then uh afterwards it just like went away

And then they were like, oh, it came all of it came back negative and I was like, all right Like I didn't know what the fuck it was. It was weird a grapefruit for breakfast Oh, I just like I got like soap in the tip of my dick or something There you go, sir. This is soap. There's nothing worse than what soap gets in your penis Or shampoo when you run out of soap and you wash yourself with shampoo. That's when it always happens. Yeah The cocky hole. Yeah, it's no good. You said the cocky hole cocky hole Yeah, you eat you eat butt I feel like you have to

Yeah, of course, what you can't you can't just go throw it in there next question. Yeah, right? Well, actually we do have questions that we usually do before we uh wrap up Um do some spit stuff. It's great some spit stuff with the butt spit spit everywhere in the mouth spit my mouth right now spit everywhere It's fantastic. What do you mean everywhere? It's fantastic. Buttholes mouths face. I've definitely spit in a butt I just have never spit in a mouth or received spit in my mouth. I don't know how I feel about it All right, here we go. Don't pressure anyone. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, this guy's fuck Ten times the people I've had sex with that's an estimate by the way. Thank you so fucking estimate I appreciate back in my head right now with the fucking promo for this episode is gonna be will chamberlain on our podcast. Thank you so much

I can't wait till this podcast is 14 minutes long. It's gonna be great Pat goes do you guys edit anything out before you do that in two days He's gonna make can we edit out uh that whole thing actually let's just do it over again Um fucking coxman first question. What's the worst job you ever had? Worst job I ever had was working at a ups store In the village plaza in franklin, massachusetts hated my boss got paid 725 an hour Absolutely worst job definitely wasn't the ice rink. No my god. The rink was the fucking best job Rink is like right up there with barstool. That was so much fun. Yeah, it was the best

You just drove the zampo. I drove the bony. I worked alone to have my buddies come up. We drank Shut it down after work drive around shit based on the zamboni That's how any skate towing each other on the ice skate whenever we wanted That's pretty dope Also suck also suck party. I suck while I was there. I'd get sucked. I suck Do a little pound Are you pounded in there? I pounded at the rink on the ice. Oh, you know why not a nice pound That's that's that's a dangerous pound pounding on skates would have been elite. We did it. No, we didn't do a skate pound

No, let's skate pound Anyway, anyway, what was your worst job probably the job I had before bar so not so much that the job was terrible I was just in a terrible frame of mind when I was working in this after school program Was a bunch of some of the kids were nice with a bunch of shitty like snot nose kids running around I was just teaching them how to do long division and I was wishing that I was at bar so and then when I finally got the call It kind of quelled all that but that's probably the worst one. Nice. All right all right The sheets that are currently on your bed. How long have they been there?

Like washed. No. No, it was the last time you watched the last time you watched them like how long have they been there? A while Probably like well, we had winter break What does that mean? Well, I guess bar so was kind of on a college schedule. We got like two weeks off for Christmas, I wish I didn't watch then probably like five weeks. I think I had Christmas off I was right back in here. It's 26 We better appreciate him. No, I don't know. I was here. Oh, we were here, baby We heard monday and then and then tuesday wednesday thursday. We weren't

No, we were not here thursday friday saturday, but yeah, uh the sheets though. I think i'm like tuesday was christmas I think i'm Over five weeks, but under two months probably around like six or seven weeks I'm probably like no, I like these answers. They're real because yeah, because usually we ask everyone these questions And some people are like, oh, I just I just changed them yesterday or like I last week. I never changed my sheets Right now. I don't even have a sheet on my bed. I have I have I have an old comforter Oh, I love it and then I have uh shout out to buffy a buffy blanket on top of that So i'm literally have a blanket and then i'm sleeping. Are you got bare mattress? I also

Comfort yeah, I don't sleep underneath my sheets and I sweat like a fucking I don't know you know what I fucking hate the fucking under sheet You don't need it. I get I don't use that. I just put a blanket on there You have like your bed sheet, then you have a sheet and then the blanket. Oh, you gotta you gotta have the top You guys don't do top. No, I don't just give me the blanket. Just blanket Because I like to tuck the top sheet underneath that way the feets. He's don't get cold. Oh, that's gay That's I hate those I

No, I can't I can't because I can't like you know putting a blanket on a bed is is like Difficult and then having to do it again with a sheet is just terrible I can't and I hate things that you got to physically talk. Yep. Oh, I love a talk I can't put a sheet on a bed to save my fucking life Tuck my cock between my oh my god, John Tucker. Um, all right. No one's been able to do this No one has been able to do this on our show, but you guys can collaborate if you want It's sick Do you want to collaborate or you want to go one for one? Can we get to the question first? Yeah, yeah. Name five Kid Rock songs

All right, we can I think we had to do it silently. Yeah, like people are gonna hear us. It's like Spanley Feud and they're like, all right What's the one? Bowie? All right, we can I think we had to do it silently. Yeah, like people are gonna hear us. It's like Spanley Feud and they're like, all right What's the one? Boba to buys the is the most famous that counts. Yeah, that's what's called American badass. Yes What's the one Cheryl Crowe? Uh picture or photograph picture. We're doing okay. We got three. That's three

Yodel in the valley because that was when he was a rapper before he got became Kid Rock Oh And what's the fourth? It was either called Yodel Yodel in the Valley or Cottonmouth the album was called we got four. We got four. Okay He's a real one He did something. There's still a very obvious one rather that usually people say so you guys could be the first you guys There's one of the You got four you got one. What ones we have again? We have Boba. You have picture you have uh

Boba to buy American badass and then Yodel in the Valley Which I it's all about eating vagina when he was a rapper because before he was a he was a rock There's two huge ones. Yeah kid. Come on. Jesse. You're the music guy figure this out. I know but oh fuck There someone said something about run DMC and he does have a big one run DMC. What the fuck was it? Damn, dude, if you guys can't get this it's so you're gonna be so mad yourself. No, I can't no hands If you had two I would give you a hint you guys got four we're holding on to this kid rock question Just just think just think These three

You figure people can you hum it? No, I can't you guys got four you guys are here What's like a big one I'm thinking like Oh speed home Alabama. Nope. Oh, no, uh, what's what was the one also? Yeah I don't know how we got that. Uh, I watch is like vh1, uh, like behind the music. Yeah. Yeah, but the other one is cowboy Uh, and then the other one was uh, all summer long and then like, um, only god knows why that's all he made for is like Little like small friend that died jc. Oh, I forgot about that guy We're gonna have to make it song. Who was on the show who was on the show that like guests and was just like

I don't know. There's got to be something like like a redneck paradise or something. We're like, yeah Redneck vacation Wow, that's crazy. All right, good for you guys. I'm so happy that they got that. Yeah, finally People usually go all right ball with the ball and then they do the same thing you do is like my name is kid What song is that we're like that's ball with the ball We got it. So what do we win? Um, absolutely nothing. Uh, who do people tell you you look like? There's a pitcher

for A baseball team they've blue jerseys white with blue hats tall pitcher Fuck The royal royals maybe Dodgers You darvish. I've been getting Joe burrow a lot lately. I'll take my hat off Joe burrow. Yeah, I could see that. My hair's a little fucked up. Yeah. Yeah. Joe burrow a little bit. Is that your natural hair color? Yeah, I got tony hawk a few times. I could see tony hawk a little bit. Okay. I think because I got the beak

Did you run with it? You were like, yeah, man, I hit that 900. Yeah, I say I'm tony hawk. Yeah What's something you have to do every day like not poop or pee pee Or any of that like normal stuff or any uh, I mean unless it that unless you have to crank every day Yeah, by all means those days. I don't crank. Yeah, you go first. Jesse have to do every day I'm not gonna say crank, but even though I do definitely crank every day. Um I'm I just gonna sound like a typical like weed smoker I do smoke weed every day and I think it's because it like helps me focus more than anything So I would say smoke weed. Yeah smoke weed

I'm not gonna go back to what Pat said, but I agree with you do what you gotta do. You know, I feel you Do you smoke weed? No, I don't. I'm sober. Shit. Oh, that's right. I forgot you're sober sober sober sober sober sober sober One thing I do every day Like you're like, oh man, I have to have coffee or I have to I think it's these answers are all have to be something. I mean, this is like really weird something in the fucking morning I mean, I have to wash my hands before I go to bed. I don't know if that counts That's like a weird like thing. Yeah, I can't get into bed if like I get into badly on my stomach I put my hands up and they're not clean. I like just like fucks with my head

I went through a phase where I had to constantly wipe my feet before I got in bed because I saw mackai pfeiffer do it in a movie What? Yeah, like like I would wipe my feet before I got in bed because I didn't want to bring like any floor crumbs in the bed That makes sense. I like being very clean when I get into bed Wait, so what if you what if you take a shower at like seven o'clock, but you don't get into bed It's like 11. Will you wash your hands? I'm scrubbing. Really? Always. That's weird I'm gonna change right now actually because I have to I can't leave my house in the morning and Without taking a shit like it's the I have never

Well, we said no poop or pee pee. Oh, we said no poop pee pee, but that's that's that's a that's a different thing though I shit every day before I come here. Yeah, but he's saying it in a way of like I can't leave my house unless I do it I can't yeah, I can't leave the house. I don't think I have it since like I can take my shit on the road Oh, I don't see that you pack it up. Yeah pack it up take my stuff on the roll. Yeah Which celebrity do you want to punch in the face? James charles Spicy he's spicy spicy. Okay bad. Oh, why he's just the I think he's a weirdo. I don't like him I think he's a predator. I think he's a sexual predator and I think he uses his fame

to sexually manipulate people Which is something that this can really deep which is something that does and I also think he He queer baits and he trans baits and he'll put up pictures of himself as a woman online Not because he feels that way because he is trying to get likes and get clicks I fucking hate James charles, but he's a multi-multi-millionaire and he has like 16 million dollars. Yeah, which is nothing to be hating. It's gay shots fired. Yeah, gay shots fired That's a little too real you go this was a joke I do not like James charles. I don't want all the smoke. I have no problem with smoke

Young Sheldon I want to punch young Sheldon Who do you got? Um, this is not like it's a little bit of a low-level celebrity And I don't know if actually ever like publicly heard this out But uh, I tried to buy a feature off a rapper like last year. He's got 24 hours He's made in tokyo's older brother the guy the uber everywhere guy and I gave him a thousand dollars and he just never sent the song He sent me a snippet of him like of the verse

Uh, and then scum scum. Yeah, just scummed me. So if I see him, I would love to punch his face That's who we can. He's a little fucking. He's a fat fucking noodle. He's like best friend to tie dollars How much makes it where is he live? Probably in LA and the song signed a fire when he sent me the snippet And then he just never sent me the song and I fucking it wasn't even all my money All my buddies like helped me pitch in a thousand dollars because I was hurting really bad my pockets at the time to get the song So I would love to punch him in the face. Well, got it. Got it. Got it. I love that That was the first real smoke that we've had on the show. Yeah, no, it's on site with him

It's on site. I'm getting all my goons from icelip coming at you. Yeah, that's it. Islip suck On my math kids. They're growing up now Which jet ski is showing up? Why jet ski or drunk black jet ski? Drunk black jet ski is terrible Um, I listen, I do it too. I'm not I'm not saying that I got my I got I got a black voice Uh rate yourself one to ten In terms of everything's all encompassing. I need decimals. Oh, you guys are barstool guys. So no rookie numbers. I'm of I'm probably

a six four Is that your height? Is that your height? Is that not what you Is that how you guys do? No, I'm a I'm a six four. Okay, six point four. Why realistically I underachieve I could do better in most aspects if I dried harder. Well, that's a six four I'd like that. That's not just me. I'm just being real with you I'm gonna come on 11. Whoo. Yeah jet. He's going straight. No, I was gonna say seven point two I think there's I'm excelling in certain areas, but there's other areas like my time management that I could definitely improve on

Yeah, it's true. What are you a seven one seven one? You should make your guess rate each other Well, it's usually it's usually one we just like making people but we like jet. We like jet ski So we were like we want jet ski on you know Also, everyone usually either says you usually people will say seven if they think they're hotter But they won't want to look a certain way. What do you mean? Oh if like so if you ask they're hotter than a seven Oh, we're reading just our looks they'll do everything everything to get all encompassing looks Yeah, so if like we'll ask like a girl we'll be like like how Like what do you think you are? And if you ask them that and they say something like seven this

They think they're hotter, but they don't want to seem pretentious I might can I change I might be a six seven All right, that's fine. You change it No, I'm just this a little I'm not a seven, but I'm like a six point seven like approaching good, but not There was an app that used to uh circulate around it was like girls could date guys in in my college and it was based on like Manners Not yes in inadvertently manners skills in bed

Looks and game. I don't remember what it was called. I think it was called like lulu or something like that And that was an eight point eight eight out of ten on that. I was really happy about that at the time Wait, what were they? It was like girls in your area could rate the guys around you So like you wouldn't make a profile that I never made a profile But I had one because like the girls in my area in my college like were rating me And I got like an eight point six or something like that. It was great. Whoa my manners were terrible though So I had to work on that I got I got nine out of ten. I got nine out of ten in bed like a child's bad manners

All right, uh, what game show would you have the best chance on? Who wants to be oh no, what's the one with steve harvey where they put up the family family few Yeah, you trust your family. Yeah for sure family few to be good. My mom would crush phyllis would crush I think I would do good on guts Wow Gladiator gladiator American gladiators Oh mxc

That's the one they used to dub it over. What is that? Oh The japanese one they would dub over. Oh my god. They had the most creative Things in the world on that show. Was that the one where they had to like like fit through walls? It was basically wipe out but in the 90s in the right. Yeah, people actually got hurt. Yeah They had the most creative sinkers and floaters Yes, you would just run across pieces of plywood in a swamp and then they just take one away and you just drown What a great shot I forgot about that show. I'm gonna youtube that shit. Yeah, uh last question Are you happy today?

Yes Rarely it's rare that i'm happy today. I'm happy today. I'm happy. Yeah, nice I would say i'm also happy today. Hmm. I wasn't in the morning. I had a rough morning, but yeah Now we're happy took a little nap on the way here took a little nap in the car. How'd you know you took a picture of me? No, no, I napped I napped on the way here too. All right, I got I got woken up today Oh by the driver. I had a couple certs Did you did you pull it? No, no, no, you over here every day every day psycho. How much is that racking you up?

I would say what on average is what like 20 dollars. Yeah, no What like 30? What sometimes you sometimes you say let's say 20 I'd say 257 on average. Yeah, if I go to let's let's go to lift right now Let's just go to 25. Yeah 25 safe 25 each way though, right? Yeah, yeah, so 50 dollars a day, right? It cost me 35 dollars to get here today So let's say 50 dollars a day Five days a week. Yeah, that's 250 dollars times 52 weeks out of the year. That's 13 grand. What the fuck, bro Can we calculate what it would be if it was like a month? What's a monthly metro card like 120 dollars?

Let's just let's just say it's 150 and it's fucking not let's just say that It would be 1800 dollars. So he would have Basically like what are you doing? What are you doing? You have another Rolex dude? You can wear two You wear eight. Yeah, this is two years. So you could have had that as irresponsible as fuck. Yeah, it's also pretty baller It is pretty baller. Yeah, you know, that's worth it. That's worth it. Fuck the roly. I'm getting in his lift I'm gonna be able to fly to fucking china on fucking lift points I'm gonna get fucking delta fucking points out the ass, dude. Oh, it's worth it. That is embarrassing 13 grand, dude That's incredible. There's nothing more baller than showing up to work in a car though. But yeah walking through the door

That's $26,000 That you've just been like We need to get in on somebody's fucking money If anything that it's embarrassing, but it's also just a hard flex It is an irresponsible flex. Yeah, but it's really not. You know, I was happy earlier today. I'm not happy Yeah, yeah, probably not but thank you guys for coming on. It's been fun. It's been it's been fucking nice, dude Working everybody finds you guys. Yeah Find me on barstool. It's at barstool pat on twitter and instagram

I'm wane jet ski on twitter with two eyes and two underscores between wane jet ski on uh, twitter Where can they find the music? The music is on app music spotify under wane jet ski Soundcloud as well, but I'm focusing on the app music spotify because it's paying me a little bit. So yeah And barstool breakfast at barstool breakfast twitter and instagram obviously at barstool sports What time is that showing us seven to nine a.m. Serious xm channel 85 and you can hear us on there from time to time Love it. All right, you know, I'm saying all right reset exactly and that is all see you guys next time Oh