The Basement Yard - Christmas Shopping Is The Worst

Episode Date: December 27, 2017

On this episode, @pmolino27 & @Frank_Alvarez80 are on to talk about some stuff. This was days ago so I forgot but it's good. Oh, Christmas shopping and stuff. I suck. Sorry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. Today I am joined by Frankie. Frankie is back. Relax and my cousin Pete is here as well. What's up? And Frankie is in a full blown Santa outfit right now. We got our Christmas party tonight. We do. We have a secret Santa party tonight with all of our friends. Oh that was a little sloppier. Did you see Cardi B on Jimmy Fallon? No. Oh my god. She's talking. She's like yeah I'm from the Bronx. I was like holy shit. It was fucking great. And she was like talking about she's getting married to Offset right? Or Quavo. Offset. Offset. Yeah. And she was talking about him and she's like you're

like yeah yeah yeah yeah you recently got engaged. She's like yeah I told him to marry me. Oh just like out of fucking nowhere. She's awesome. I found out that a girl I used to talk to went to high school with her. Really? Yeah. I fucking love Cardi B. Dude she's awesome. Did you see the picture of her booty hole? What's up? You didn't see that? Cardi B's asshole? Yeah. No I didn't see this. Yeah yeah yeah because she was a stripper beforehand. That's right. Yeah but they're not are they spreading cheeks? Probably. There is a picture. I've been in strip clubs. I have not seen someone spread their asshole. You've not been to the right club. I'm looking at

a different. I just googled Cardi B asshole and didn't find anything. No like someone posted it on Twitter and like it was like retweet for good luck. It's Cardi B's booty hole. I didn't retweet it. That might be why I'm in the state. I got bad luck. No but I do love Cardi B. Dude I know she was in the Bronx. Yeah. Also today we went last minute shop. Well I went. Frankie went last minute Christmas shopping. Awful person. And he's like let's go to the mall. And for some reason I was like yeah. It's a great idea. Yeah no it was a bad idea. Let's do that. Saturday before Christmas. It was bad. It was really bad. It was fucking terrible. Getting in and out of that place was the worst.

Inside. Not the worst. I mean there were lines that were kind of long. There were lines to get into stores. That's awful. Yeah. I'd never seen like what GameStop Pandora Pandora was fucking ridiculous. Really. Yeah. That's still a thing. I guess so. You guys ever want Pandora brothers for somebody. No. I think I have. Have you. Never. I was going to say. Weird. Girls love. Yeah. It's just so cliche. Girls. What was that. No idea guys. Scraping the bottom of the barrel tonight. Sucks. Come home. I. Yo I laughed so hard about that. But the work sucks thing. Oh. Shouts of blank. One time. One. What's saying. Believes in like aliens. Well speaking of aliens. Holy shit. Yeah. I saw that over Cali right. Yeah. Like that. Apparently

like Elon Musk. Space X thing. But everyone's like no it's aliens. He's like no no no we were doing this thing. It's like no no no it's aliens dude. Dude that's the smartest person in the world but it was aliens. Dude that's that's terrifying if it is aliens. No I'm super down. We need an alien invasion. What. 100. Yeah. With you. I disagree. You don't want an alien invasion. I mean if they come to like just chill I'd love to grab a beer with an alien. But they wouldn't. But yeah they're coming here to kill us. Wait. Time out. Because us as a stupid human race. This is very judgmental and stereotypical. Okay. Don't let independence day. We're getting high-roated about aliens. You are getting high-roated. Yeah. What the

fuck. They're not. How do you know they're evil. Dude. The way that this country works and the way that this world works we all want to kill each other. You think that someone else from another planet is going to come and we won't want to kill them. And they're going to be like guys don't do this. We're warning you. All right. Phaser. Bing. Phaser. Yeah. Phaser. A phaser. Bing. It's another member of the Global Jim Purple Covers. Yeah. That's phase. That's good. Phaser. Blazer. Taser. And then what was the one that didn't have an Acer name. Michelle. Michelle. No but I don't think. I think that you're out of your you are way too optimistic. The only reason they would come here was because they

need something. Or they want to say yeah it was good. We're real. Why would they waste their time and efforts being like yo it's good earth. You guys are doing okay. Yeah we're definitely not doing as well as they are. No. Oh my. If they've got to us before we got to them it's such a small dick for the earth. Like such a small dick moment that like all right we did it. We beat you. Yeah. Like remember when like the U.S. had approved their dick size over Russia in 1969 to get to the moon first. Like imagine how. And then that's all here say. Well yeah. Well I was hoping you would say. Depending on who you are but. Wait do you guys think we went to the moon. Yes. Yes. Okay. Do you. No I don't know enough

to. I was just being funny. I don't know enough to be like I have. Well what. Because my my dad of course was like where's the stars. Which is a funny where the stars like in the video that they show there's no stars. Oh it's just black like there's no stars like you see stars from here. There's so much light from whatever they're filming. And they also had it was a 1969 camera. Yeah but if you could see it looking up in the sky from the city there's too much light like he's right. Something right there. Go take a flash. It's not the light. It's not the light. The reason why you can't see is because of clouds. That's why if you go to like Maine or you go wherever there's no cloud literally anywhere else but

New York. Yeah you could see like pollution. You know what I mean. Yeah I mean I do think fucking there was an interview with like Neil Armstrong and he was like if you think I didn't go to the moon you're an idiot. Like he was like I was there. Like I stepped on the fucking moon. I mean it makes sense that we would get there. Like people are you know that one dude jumped out of he was out of the atmosphere and jumped through it and skydived and lived. That's crazy. If we could do that. Yeah. Like just fucking around out of the atmosphere. He was in he was like right before another part of the yeah it was I think it was like the stratosphere or something like that. It's one of the fears. One of the spheres.

But I if you don't if you're one of those you know flat earthers who thinks that we never went to the moon grow up. First of all do you know about Flat Earth. I love Flat Earth. There's so much. You don't know about it. It's so funny. No not really. So on the other podcast I do other people's lives we talk to two people who are flat earthers. One of them refused to acknowledge that I was here and I said well Greg even if I would ask the question really. I'm like so I was like yeah well Greg like I don't know if he was doing it on purpose or like or something like you round earthers. You roundies. Yeah I don't know roundies you roundies. But so they is not isn't there a football player that doesn't believe in dinosaurs

existing. Didn't you see. I saw some shit like that. It was like it refuses like they brought him to like the museum of natural history and he was like nope. Uh oh that's all made up. Nope. Really. Yeah. Check a flat earther. Please that's all he needs. Dude you want to hear something funny actually too because now you just said that they don't believe in dinosaurs whatever. So I've been watching a lot of racism documentaries on Netflix. Wow. Can't get enough of it. Don't sport it. I am the biggest fan of like racists because it's hilarious to listen to them and like you just want to cut their heads off. These fucking crazy white people who literally live in the woods. Right. They're super KKK whatever. The guy's like 24 years

old. He looks 408. Like he's like he looks like literally like he's been through nine divorces. Like he's all fucked up. He's like yeah I'm 23. I'm like oh my god. He literally said he's like yeah Auschwitz was like a summer camp. People think that was a concentration camp but it was a summer camp and he's like and the guy behind the camera like you don't hear him the entire documentary and then the guy behind the camera is like why would you think that's a summer camp because there was a pool in the middle of the whole thing. He's like the guy goes so what do you think they were doing there. I don't swim in or whatever. They didn't want to work. I'm like these people fucking they think this. I legitimately do

not understand it. So I'll like and just get out and just like no no penalty. That is the like that's fucking up. I literally watch these videos of people being like blatantly racist and I it's like I swear to God it's like I'm watching fiction like I don't believe it's fucking real. I know that's why I watch. I can't get enough of it. I'm like oh my I just want to kick my TV. It doesn't make sense to me because like who we actually knew someone who is a flat out fucking racist who we no longer talk to and he legitimately told me one day he's like I swear to God I believe that all colored people were put on this earth to serve white people and I was just like how is that like that's a real person sharing his real

opinion and it was just like how how legitimately dumb can you be. It doesn't like I I I seriously try to think how they can think that way. I can't imagine I would like if someone said that to me I would just like I don't know how I react. I feel like I'd be I'd be like dude I want to fight you one on one right now. Is this a joke. We can't kill those people. Why can't we just kill them. Just trying to help other people. Oh yeah we're doing everyone a search. Just get rid of them. Let them die. You got to be on the jury and you just look over and be like listen the guy said this and they're like you know what fuck it. Let's put them down. Do you think there should be like other ways to punish people in court. Didn't we speak about this just like a

punch in the face. I think most people should just get rocked one time. Like the guy that's like misdemeanors just punch him in the face. Like the guy that that tried to let off the bomb in the port authority bus station in New York. Like not only is he going to get life in prison just let like nine random New Yorkers just fucking wail on him for like a minute. Yeah just like fuck him up. Or you know what you should do. Put him in general population and Jen Jen. Yeah give him Jen pop and let's see what happens. Jen pop you were so educated. Dude dude you're so you have you got the prison they go down. I've watched Oz. I've watched a lot of lock up. I watched Oz lock up is another show. I watch all fucked up. Have you ever watched Scared

Straight or Beyond Scared Straight. It's incredible. Awesome. Love it. It's a presentation on that in college. It doesn't work. Fun fact. It's been proven not to work but it's still great. Wait it really. Yeah. Like all all the studies all the follow-ups they did the kids didn't change. That's a nice. It's literally for TV. Yeah. I know but it's great TV. It's phenomenal. Yo first of all there's an old video. If you go on YouTube and you type in Beyond Scared Straight. I believe the year is like 1998. They have like an older version which you can tell that it was just a different world back then. Like we like the world we live in now is 10 times more PC than it was back then. These guys were going fucking crazy. Really. And just like letting these people have it.

Like just tell them they're gonna fuck them in the ass. Wow. And like crazy shit. And then like the cameraman got in the way one time and this guy like one of the inmates turned to the cameraman the guy who's working. I told you to get the fuck off the stage. You get it next. Like he's like going at him too. I was like yo this is what we need. This is a good show. Oh my god. Yeah it's great. I just wish I could talk to the producer that came up with that idea. Oh yeah. This is a nice bajillionaire. The smartest man on the planet. Do you ever see a rest of development where they accidentally they think they're sending the father to go talk to like people to keep them out of jail like a scared street thing but he accidentally sends they accidentally send them

to like a bible study thing that's like trying to like turn gay men street. Oh my god. You want men taking advantage of you and they're like yeah. Yeah we do. Talking about a weird concept. Oh my god it's great. A gay conversion place. Just gonna put a whole bunch of gay dudes together. Well did you ever. Do you ever see Bruno. No. Oh my god. Like bits and pieces. Dude first of all that movie is hilarious for the worst reasons and he goes to like oh like a sermon not even like a sermon but he goes to like a like a someone in the south. I think it's like the deep south like Alabama to like try to turn them straight. He's like so you're saying like I can't like touch men's balls and he's like no you touch the heart of Jesus and it's like the fucking crazy thing like I don't

understand why you can't just let people be people like who gives a fuck. Dude the fact that you see like it's bad for me to laugh because it's not funny but it's funny when you think about like how fucking stupid people can be. Yeah like wow you think that like you're gonna be like you know what we're gonna make you not gay anymore. We got this. I got it. I got a book full of shit and we're gonna figure it out but we got this. Don't worry about it. Yeah and my favorite thing is I went to school during my like graduate time with my friend Eric who is gay and would just devour people whenever they would talk about it and like just like shoot for the stars amongst like just like in his reactions to people so like they can't like respond with anything that's not as

aggressive as him. That's great. So they'll be like gays of choice. You're like oh yeah gays of choice you think people want to get killed and it's like all right. Geez you know. Dude that's the always the argument that I have when that comes up. Someone's like oh you know being gay is a choice. I'm like first of all or like what it was when the transgender issues were happening. I mean they're still happening. We didn't win. That was over last year. No I'm just saying like when it became like the front of the paper and everything people were like oh it's a choice like whatever. I'm like who would choose how could you think to like sign like you know what this is the most ridiculed and like they have like the highest suicide rate. I'm gonna choose this. Yeah this is

the one I'm signing up for. It's unbelievable. Like how fucking dumb can you be. Like obviously it's not a choice. It's people that are people feel. It's people that are afraid to realize that it could have happened to them and it could happen to their children or their loved ones and they think that it's like I can save them. Like people are born that way. Let them fucking be born that way. Let them do their thing. Like why try to fight it. It's not affecting your life in any way. Yeah. Yeah I just I'm very confused. So raging. If I had a son and he came to me and he was like dad I love dick. I would I'm sure the conversation would go a little different. Dude I would support the shit out of him. I'd say go out there and just get a dick.

Get the nicest dick. I'll slide him you know people's top 10 sexiest men alive. Pick your type and I'll help you find guys. I was gonna say what makes you think that your son is gonna pull the top 10. First of all do you see the women that I pull. My girlfriend is too hot for me. P. degrees. Ask him. She's not. She's not top 10 women alive. Top 10 women alive to me. Damn it. I don't give a fuck what you say. She's clearly listening. No but Frank does consistently pull women that are way out of my range. It doesn't make sense. Zero sense. Yeah but you don't have a son yet and he could suck. No my son is gonna be the dopest. That was such a fucked up thing to say. To my unborn son. He's gonna say he could suck. He could suck. Yeah the option's there. My unborn

son is gonna fucking kill it whether he's gay straight. Objectum sexual whatever. Wow. I'll get him the nice about objective sexual by the way. I'll get him the nicest chandelier to pipe. Wait. Objectum like they fuck objects. Oh god yeah. Or they love objects. Still my favorite thing to talk about. Yeah. I hope you have like 10 daughters. Then I'll be in trouble. You know when I get really freaked out about when I think about like kids and stuff it's like bullying because like I for me it's I'm not really I'm like good with kids like whatever but I'm not as amazing as like Keith is incredible with kids and like he whatever they love Keith I'm like so I like I don't know how to talk to a kid like a kid. Oh my god. I'm just like yeah what do you do like I

can't even just like I talk to him like an adult and I hope they think it's funny. Watch the game or what's going on. You know what I mean. Like I'm always that I'm always that fucking the funny guy is like housework. How are the kids like that's how I fucking talk to him like an idiot. You're hilarious. I know so I always worry about like if my kid comes home and he gets bullied I'm like I just gotta go beat this kid up. You have to. Yeah. It's like I don't know how parents deal with that. Imagine that. I would never be able to deal with that. I can't like if my kid came home like all beat up and was like yeah these kids beat me up. I would like lose my shit. Yeah. I would really lose it. I would fuck up their parents and they might be the next people on the

planet. That's actually a good. That's probably what I would beat the shit out of their parents and then like I would feel okay about myself. I would go to the parents I give them a warning I'm like listen if your kid does this again I'm fucking you up and then if he doesn't change again then I'm fucking him up so you fix this shit. That's like and if I fuck both you up and it still happens I'm coming after your fucking parents. That's how you do it. I just start fucking up the family tree. I will ruin a household and an entire family dynamic for my children. Dude I will buy a can of gasoline and fucking burn that bitch to the ground. Yo do you want to hear a funny story. This is a real story that my dad did because my dad reacted the same way that we're

talking to that we're talking here. I could absolutely imagine that. My dad back in the day Keith was like failing or not failing but he was having trouble in school or whatever and they would put the work in every night they were studying they were doing this and that and for some reason you know I don't really remember the specifics but he wasn't being treated fairly as far as his grades were going because he would gotten his grades up and somehow it's still like whatever and my dad went in for a meeting and mind you guys this is a Catholic middle school that has preschoolers in the building with an aggressive man coming in which is five feet from a church and your father is not like and like your dad is an

aggressive guy in the way he howls like regular conversations yeah I could only imagine a heated one. He told these people these Catholic middle school he's like I'll get a gas can he literally went like this like held up like he's holding an imaginary gas can and then shaking it he's like and I'll do it and I'll burn this place to the he literally said this to them that's incredible so dope I would do that I swear to God like I sometimes in my head play through like like if like my if I walked down the street and saw like my brother getting his ass kicked like what I would do and I would fucking kill somebody if I saw any could get in their ass kicked I think I would jump out there was one time I swear to God there was one time I was walking

down Steinway I was in high school and there was a fucking like middle school or like sixth grade getting his not ass kicked but they were like pushing him and like snuffing him in the face and like I went up I was like what the fuck they were like oh it's a joke it's a joke it's a joke and I just like get the fuck out of here like go joke down the fucking block and I felt so yo like I felt so fucking bad and then so proud yeah that I am a hero realistically they could have went around the block and beat this kid to death and I still would have not known and you still would have felt equally I might have made it worse on them you know like like oh you got saved then I'm coming for you tomorrow yeah yeah exactly that's what you do that's that's how I threaten

people like I blow kisses at them I've done that in like middle school middle school was when that was the last time I think I've ever gotten into a fight it was like middle school but back then I was like out of my fucking mind for some reason and when there was this one kid that would always get bullied and there was just one day where it just happened like in front of me and I just snapped lost it and I just started swinging at like three kids and I was like I might get my ass kicked here but it's worth my friends were with me but like but it's like yo I don't know how people could like let that go on like the other day my sister was talking about there's a documentary called bully and I refused to watch it because I will literally lose my mind and it's just about

like there's a kid where he gets bullied and then they're talking to another family that a 12 year old killed himself because he was bullied so much yo I promise you I promise you I'm gonna immortalize it right now on this podcast if god forbid anyone I knew or my own son or any of my friend's sons or whatever anything if they ever kill themselves because of bullying you will see me in jail shortly after for murdering a child I promise you it will happen I will kill the first what's gonna happen as I'm gonna kill every family member he has so that he doesn't know what to do with his life I'm gonna let that simmer for a week and then I'm going to kill him you think you're not getting caught for a week that's a long that's a long time we're gonna have to figure it out how

thought out was this plan I'm not really not very thought out watch a lot of Dexter okay that's a really good show uh that's that's no I I'm right there with you I swear to god like and it's crazy now because when we grew up like we didn't like bullying is at a new fucking level now like you can't believe never stopped avenues of it yeah twitter facebook instagram like it doesn't fucking stop and it makes it so much more worse because it makes it public like yeah we all kind of like it's fucked up but like in a way we kind of all play into it where we'll see a video of someone being like like fucking like something embarrassing happening to them on like barstool or something and we laugh at it but like yeah we don't know what it's like for that person and I'm don't

gotta be wrong I'm not gonna unfollow barstool but like still you know like it's it's kind of like it's crazy now and if we had that growing up I don't know what it would be like for a lot of the people that we knew because we saw bullying and and I'm sure at certain points we probably either were victims or we were the perpetrators I'll be honest with you I never really saw it besides out that one kid in middle school but like in high school it was never a thing it was actually the opposite like we I remember because I was on the football team so we like sat on our our table and there was this one kid who was eating lunch by themselves we're like you know just come sit with us or whatever like that that shit kills me it like makes me yeah it's sad like I have

the softest spot for shit like that yeah I do too that and puppies dude all about puppies no I'm right there with you I'd like it like hurts me it like yo and old people oh my god when people get upset I could cry right now thinking about it like an old woman dude I saw people that like scrolls through Facebook and watches those like emotional videos that no I don't like the crying faces and broken hearts on fucking now this no I can't do it I don't have the time do you remember the vine where the old woman sitting in the car and the dude walks up he goes they left me out here she's like yeah oh you remember that that made me upset and it was supposed to be fun dude I saw one the other day that was like so I either like old people videos get me or like soldiers

returning home get me instant cry so on the other day of a fucking like hundred year old hundred year old uh uh holocaust survivor who was reunited for the first time with his nephew that he didn't know existed dude holy shit I'm at work and I'm like why do I do this to myself I was so it was the warmest but dude it was awesome but I was so like I wanted to fucking cry like a like a I almost said something bad like a bitch yeah you could say that okay yeah yeah but even though crying isn't for the bitches but we know you don't have to say that you know just don't scream like hey you know guys cry too if someone says it to me I'm just like okay you're the man dude we get it oh boy new year's coming up this is the last episode before the new year's

we're gonna talk about new years before I mean after I do these sponsors first sponsor we have today blue apron blue apron is the leading meal kit delivery service in the US uh basically what this company does is you sign up they will send food to your front door that is pre-portioned and packaged and there is instructions on how to cook these things and you can get two person meal plan or family meal plan or even a wine plan is six bottles of wine from renowned winemakers delivered monthly that's horny bottles that's horny that's a lot that's not a lot for a month I don't know how much wine do you drink I can crush that in two weeks the bro six bottles of wine that's I mean that's a good amount um and so if you want to get into cooking and stuff like that I

when I was using blue apron or I'm currently using blue apron but I run out all the time but when I when I'm using blue apron like it's an easy way to get into cooking because you have the instructions you can keep them uh in like a folder or something and now you have all these uh like it's like a mini cookbook basically that they send you every week every month and uh yeah it's less than $10 a meal so it's very affordable and right now blue apron is treating the basement yard listeners to their first three meals and a $30 value with your first order if you visit blue apron dot com slash basement so go check check out this week's menu get your $30 off with free shipping at blue apron dot com slash basement uh also we have stamps dot com uh which

I actually used to use a lot when I was delivering when I was delivering when I was uh shipping merch and stuff like that uh it's just much more convenient I mean you could everything you could do at the post office you could do from your home uh which makes it so much more simpler you could do it at 2 a.m when you leave it for the last second like I always do uh go to stamps dot com stamps dot com brings all the services of the us postal service right to your fingertips buy and print official us postage for any letter any package any class of mail using your own computer and printer they'll send you a digital scale automatically calculates exact postage stamps dot com will even help you decide the best class of mail based on your needs um

but yeah like I said I've used it it's a very um convenient you could do it at home you don't have to wait on lines at the post office or anything like that so you know god bless and right now you can enjoy stamps dot com with the service with a special offer that includes a four-week trial plus postage and a digital scale without long-term commitments go to stamps dot com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in basement that stamps dot com click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in basement and yeah stamps dot com there you go uh but yes it is what's today's date today's 23rd this is saturday we're recording this for the rest of us and it's almost new years which means the worst thing on the

planet what people's new year's resolutions yeah our gems are gonna get a lot more crowded oh you don't go to the gym that's fine just like fuck you oh it's fine it's fine your body is great i appreciate it don't do this peep what don't fucking do this i know what you're doing and don't okay you're gonna you're gonna bully me on this podcast wow he went there wow piece of shit this beer is incredible smelling which one is that fin back oscillation i don't think i've had it let me try it try it out just don't put your mouth on it i'm kidding you could spit in that i would still drink it don't put your body don't spit in it though please smells like rust why are you smelling it like wine i'm sure it doesn't smell like rust why did you do that that's what it tastes like that

tastes good it smells like like a wine oh speaking of wine there's a netflix documentary called i'm all about documentaries as you can tell oh it's called no it's called sour grapes and it's about this dude who basically frank abagnale the wine industry really awesome really yeah it's really cool so in the beginning it's like about wine and whatever and you're like oh it's kind of boring and then it gets into it and you're like this is fucking nuts so what he just like faked his way into being a sommelier or something rich white people that have no idea what to do or whatever these fucking idiots are like sitting there and it's so funny because like they're all they're all just like you're fooled by the bottle people pay ten thousand

hundred thousand twenty thousand dollars for bottles of wine that's kind of crazy and when you have stupid money you just like they just sit at these auctions they pay twenty thousand dollars for a bottle and like they just go crazy like and they buy stuff and basically this dude who was from uh i think he was chinese but he was from indonesia he was making like fake bottles of wine like he'd say like you know i don't know any bottles of wine but whatever like let's say some like merlot from 1930 which is like extremely rare or something he'll just remake the label and he had a really good palette and he knew like he could blind taste test and you know exactly what this wine is whatever so he knew which ones tasted like this and he was just kind of

mad scientist where he would kind of mix them together and just make it sort of kind of the same decently similar and then put it put the thing in the bottle and people would pay out the ass for it that's incredible and he did that like for millions of dollars like 50 million dollars or something like that i'm not even mad at him that's take advantage yeah that's fucking awesome spends stupid money he must know what they're buying like someone must have hired him and say like we want you to work for us to like do something anything oh i'm sure it was awesome i don't know what he's i don't really so it's like the alcohol industry pays like weird things yeah can you imagine how much money that guy would make if like a fucking wine company hired him like tell us if this sucks

or not yeah yeah i mean but it was yo it was so cool i wish it was just funny because there was also a scene where this guy who believes he's like oh i don't think the guy's name is rudy who did it he's like i don't think rudy uh did it blah blah blah and he's drinking a wine and he's like this is one of the wines that rudy gave me in his collection blah blah and he's drinking it's like it's exquisite it's you know the breathes and whatever he's always using these dumb fucking terms yeah then he gives it some girl and he's like try this and she goes oh wow this is really good he's like see people think that rudy's wine's fake they give it to this guy right let's try this wine this is one of rudy's wines he doesn't even sip it he smells it he goes this is garbage and the guy's

like really and he's like yeah he's like i'm very familiar with this wine and this is not it he's like this is not the wine he's like this is something else he's like he started saying a bunch of dumb shit too he's like you know it's not it's not as vibrant and not as blah blah blah and i was like the fuck and then he acts the guy he's like how many bottles over that do you have to the guy who like got it from the guy rudy yeah it's like yeah i don't know like six bottles and the other guy's like i have six thousand bottles of that that's nuts and it just goes to show that people have no fucking idea like you know what i mean that there's like what an awful awful problem to have to have too much money to not know what to do with it one of the guys that's on this in this documentary his

name is bill coke he is guys winning already billionaire he has a like it looks like the catacombs of a like a wine cellar in a basement that's just like it's insane he has 43 000 bottles of wine that's nuts and he has wines why would you even have that they're like thomas jefferson like back from in that time that's sick i didn't think tj would be a wine guy me neither i figured he was definitely a wine guy he was a brothel guy i figured they were all like hard like booze ounce first of all thomas jefferson you know is thomas jefferson hot no but he's kind of an awful person he was the one that had like a whole bunch of slaves i mean they all had a bunch of he had like 12 different kids none of these people are different slaves i didn't know that he did now thomas

jefferson was not a good looking dude dude who who was hot back then see that's the thing nobody honestly honestly you know george lochenton what an ugly man yeah ugly dude okay toothpaste wasn't a thing hygiene wasn't yeah but they were you know what else was you know what else was in white uh wigs wigs what the fuck they definitely had hot dudes back then no hot dudes by comparison but like if we saw people that existed back then i would heavily bet that they'd all be repulsive yeah i don't know man like i feel like a blanket and his youth must have been a hot dude really i think he's hideous look him up agar island poe didn't look that ugly what yeah he looked like a hot dude agar island poe looked like hitler no we didn't i'd go i'd take a shot at

abe just because of the clout that he has oh yeah honestly and he's got a he's got a strong jaw line that jaw line has a massively throbbing and he's a monster he's he was like six six dude was he abe lincoln was six six four oh it's a big boy that's it that's it like that's a that's a president bro do you know what year abe lincoln was born in he was in the 1860s when he was president so i would say like 17 no uh 1822 1809 he was close you were close he was assassinated in 65 but yo that's insane i think he was a hot dude for that time like look see if you can find a picture of a young abe lincoln you think people were shallow back then oh my god there was someone who was going to the yield brothel and just fucking bash it mash it up that's what they were doing

i don't think uh first of all how are we gonna find pictures of a young abe lincoln we're talking fucking 1800s here i don't know dude oh no no there was no camera dude you know who's a solid looking dude you ever see a young joe biden joe biden's the fucking man he was a hot dude the coolest imagine hanging out with joe biden that must be incredible this is joe biden dude that's a hot wow he's a honk hot dude joe biden fucking slay what about young bill clinton young bill uh bill clinton's probably hid young billy see that oh god bill clinton sucks he looks like melancholy colkins brother and home alone oh yeah it's like buzz yeah that's buzz ah sorry bill who will suck dude who else is like super old that was probably hot as shit back then

i'm wet what i typed in wow are we talking i typed in yeah i just typed in george bush he looks like bob ross but like not as good he looks homeless yeah not he looks like one of those kids in like the british movie that runs up with the bow more please with fucking dirt just smeared hollywood twist a young uh what about a young donald trump young donald trump teddy roosevelt teddy roosevelt was a hot dude till the day he died donald trump uh this dude probably this dude sucked for a long time mike pence looks like he always needs to sneeze my young dude hold on why have we not sarah palin sarah palin's like good now i can't imagine she was younger younger sarah palin the voice was young sarah ruined it for me she's not that bad

please no she's great she was this is a real no it's not she was her photoshopped into like well there was like a lot of tits out there was a lot of porn spoofs of oh yeah yeah i don't know but where are we going where we don't we're talking about uh new year's resolutions oh yeah fun how did we get to a blinkin i said frank's body wasn't great and oh yeah no we spoke about the wine that thomas jefferson you have you ever made a resolution uh i want to say no i've never made a resolution unless like it was an assignment in school no uh you know you're like make a resolution you're like oh i'm gonna like eat less candy and then and then i don't scarf and down a charleston chew okay out of all candies you go charleston chew which is is i'm not even gonna lie is it my

top ten candy it's my mom's favorite candy that's an awful candy to like are you kidding me dude that is an awful candy a charleston chew it's not a good and plenty i'm not that is my aunt i'm not insulting your mother i'm just saying maybe she's a no okay well well she likes charleston chew your mom likes good and plenty yeah she likes good and plenty she should be put in a in a mental hospital for liking that for for other reasons as well mainly for the good and plenty's the good and good and plenty i i swear to god it's the worst thing i ever made i've i've never met someone that legitimately likes bitter honeys i don't even know what that is we saw it today i know i saw it but i don't know what it is isn't it literally just like drops of honey i don't know maybe i like honey so i could

fuck with that i'm not like a big honey what is wrong with you becca told me to eat peanut chew once peanut chew it's a candy bar i guess yeah and i asked her um are you 400 like what the fuck peanut chew there's there's certain candy that's like this is clearly an old person candy good and plenty good and plenty is one of them necko wafers necko wafers my grandma used to bias that all the time i don't think i ever like so i don't know what they're called or how to get them i really don't you know like the the purple ones no no the ones that were like in a red wrapper that looked like a strawberry oh my god just old person candy yeah but literally strawberry was great i think that my grandma i think they are called old people candy if it's

not we should buy it and brand it branded old people candy purple candy there was this purple candy my grandma used to make uh make make i was gonna say what the fuck no but there was this purple candy it tasted like perfume and it was just disgusting but i would was it like in a purple wrapper yes dude old person candy that i shady like a lot weathers originals i had a thing of weathers yesterday weathers we agree on something dude this is incredible i love weathers but i want weathers are like all right you're an idiot i one time bought the sugar free ones and threw them in disgust why would you buy sugar i accidentally bought them at a movie theater i'm fat free man is man is repulsive but i like man is in in moderation in moderation you're crazy i'm

like hey wait i'm crow you spoon it out you're gonna spoon it out and eat it no i'm gonna spoon it out and eat it but it's it's not disgusting i didn't say it was i said in moderation spooning out man is needing it is making me nauseous i will do it tonight to make you throw up no i don't have man i just throw up on you tis fret tis i mean it's hard i love the outfit i can't really you can't throw up on this i look too good i look too good you have to take pictures no santa short shorts are unbelievable i'm straight as an arrow and i'm like hot and bothered by it really i should wear this i'm straight i should have worn this more often this this sets a precedent for like how the night's gonna go when someone walks into a bar and they just in a santa robe yeah and nothing

underneath and obviously we're gonna be sitting in holiday karaoke oh that is the horniest thing that you've said all night i am so into holiday karaoke i did maybe it's cold outside once dude can we do that tonight yeah i would lose it you're doing the female version easy done what else what other part first of all you want to talk about a song about sexual harassment oh my god yeah no straight up assault based i really can't stay come on it's cold outside you know i i really can't stay here let me pour you a drink here's a drink what's in this drink yeah what's in this drink yeah i'm getting dizzy don't worry yeah it's fine the neighbors might know just stay here the real thing where musically it's such a good song that no one even pays attention

to how disturbing the lyrics it's such a cute song and it's funny that song was ruined by one of the most like biggest feminists that i've ever met tracy tambora oh god who like just came out aggressively like oh you like this song it's like yeah it's about rape i was like relax yeah it was aggressive i was like boy oh boy the song is ridiculous there's a there's a lot of songs like that like ring around the rosies about like people dying yeah it's about the plague yeah it's about the what else is there that what's that song i'll be watching you by sting it's about stalking it's about stalking it's not about like it's not about sadness like that that's when like i gotta look at the lyrics now oh it's weird every step you take every breath you make i'll be watching you

wait it's about like why can't you see you belong with me it's every breath you take by the police yeah it's about and then fucking p did he made it into a sad song when biggy dad yeah this is this is kind of creepy it's like oh can't you see you belong to me my poor heart aches with every step you take every move you make every vow you break every smile you fake i'll be watching you uh yeah this is kind of out of control nicely done there's a lot of weird like lyrics well that song the song jump by uh van halen go ahead and jump jump that's about suicide is it literally telling someone to jump wow it's fucking crazy are you looking up just like weird meeting behind songs no but there's another one closing time closing time is like about um birth or something

weird what closing time yeah closing time that's a that's all i know no time for time for you to go out and they haven't had to wait how is this about look if you look up the lyrics it's like weird like there's one line where it's like uh this one won't be open till your brothers and your sisters come what this room won't be open to your brothers or your sisters come so gather up your jackets and move it to the exits i hope you found a friend i don't know dude that that doesn't sound like childbirth and it kind of sounded uh because like what you're just waiting in there for your brothers and sisters hold hands on the walls uh we got closing time what's the song i'm thinking of um i don't know some of the treetop and uh down will come baby what's that song rockabye baby rockabye

what's that about well just like look at look at the lyrics rockabye baby on the treetop when the wind blows stop stop on the treetop okay there's a baby up there there's no on the treetop yeah no is this tarzan when the wind blows the cradle will rock down down will come baby baby will fall what's the end down will come baby cradle and all no down will come baby baby cradle and all and then doesn't it fall into the mom's hands not in the very last i've been rockabye baby lyrics and i got rockabye the by the the fucking techno song or whatever i don't know what song that is i think i do i don't know how to sing it rockabye baby on the treetop already fucked up when the wind blows the cradle will rock if the bow breaks the cradle will fall if so it's a hypothetical

and down will come baby cradle and all cradle and all okay who would write that song someone who clearly is hammered and singing to their kid to get them to shut up i don't there's a second verse baby is drowning dead and not not i was so concerned it was like what the fuck we missed that um well twinkle twinkle little star you know what that's about uh butthole no heroin no i'm going hold tonight you are clearly it's those it's the daisy cutter oh yeah how much do you got left oh you're almost done yeah like a third just super crushable yeah this stuff is uh it does work mine's 44 percent no it's not did you say 44 percent it's like vodka what's the what's the beer that's like 20 percent the uh oh sam adams utopias yeah it's a 20 percent

beer it's i don't know exactly it's 27 it's basically wine but it's like it's heavily barrel it's almost like a cherry or a port yeah it's just like super like malt heavy so it's like sweet it's a sipper i've never had it have you had it yeah is it good it's good but we had we had that expensive ass whiskey or whatever uh louis 13th louis the 13th expensive konya never had it dude we bought a shot it was $300 that's absurd i know it was good but we it was good but i was and they were like cool about it yeah they gave us a little extra too the nicest one out like the one ounce then they gave like each of us like a little the best thing i've ever had is blue label and it was fine it was a good it was all right it's good so i'm not a huge scotch guy i i love bourbon whiskey

certain types of rum i like like scotch it goes perfect with a cigar so it like perfectly cuts it yeah so like the harshness of the cigars is kind of mellowed out by scotch i'm not a really big cigar guy either i love a cigar it's like phallic objects in your mouth i'm not well i don't i don't really know about like like if you put the louis the 13th and fucking hennessy next to each other like i don't know if i'd be like well this one no no no no no there's there's a difference yeah like you can i'm sure there's a difference that's like if i gave you i wouldn't know which one no no if i gave you gray goose and georgie oh i would rather drink but what i'm saying is like you could when it's like that low quality like people drink hennessy awesome i hope you're not getting a hennessy

sponsor it's awful i don't think it's bad it's fucking disgusting i don't think so i don't mind cognac but i'll never drink it no no i don't mind cognac but hennessy is an awful cognac i don't remember what there was a name of like a nice one that i had up in connecticut don't remember it but it was way better than hennessy and hennessy literally just it's not good but jennid thing is possible i just don't get how did that become like a rap thing like how did hip hop to pick hennessy honestly yeah like i don't know hennessy's why aconia it's not it's not it's not bad like i really don't think it's bad i've never had it before and then i had this kid tim dilligato coming he was on the podcast and he was a fan of hennessy so i bought a bottle because we were

gonna have some it was the first time first time i ever had it and i was like wow this wasn't as bad as i thought it was gonna be no it's not terrible you can mix it with anything and it's fine but i don't know you used to drink hennessy and coke like at the bars that's what um like your brothers yeah my brother's an espo drink hennessy and coke or hennessy and ice tea that's weird dude it's fucking awful i don't see cognac as a mixer what's the what hennessy and something is called like the incredible hulk because it's green i think it's like hennessy and like hypnotic or some shit no idea i'm not a hypnotic fan like you so i'm not definitely not even i've never had hypnotic in my life but it looks really cool i've had it it's literally like alien blood it's juice it looks

like alien it is juice it's what it tastes like it tastes like it's like it's like alize have you ever had alize that's another one it's juice those are the things that you would steal and drink when you were like 14 yeah that's like i once i once took i don't remember where i took it from but i took like a bottle of like smuckers green apple liquor ew oh it was the worst fucking thing on the planet it was disgusting it was repugnant i used to drink such random liquor when i was a kid because it would just be like whatever i could like siphon off my parents yeah and they wouldn't notice i once got my hands on a bottle of amaretto and tried drinking that straight i will never have amaretto ever again in my entire life one of the first times i drank i would just i was doing

like shots of creme de ment because it was like the only bottle available creme de ment is not bad if you mix it with something no but what idiot drinks that straight me yeah that's not a very good that's that's not very smart yeah that's disgusting that was actually that was actually new years to come full circle the first time joey and i were drunk was on new years really do you remember that i do remember that because i was uh we stole like four coronas no no no it was mike's heart lemonade and there were coronas we had both well i remember drinking mike's heart which by the way i can't drink more if i have one time i told my friend dylan you'll come over like whatever we're sitting on the roof tan like just hang out he brought a six pack of mike's

heart i'm like why did you fucking bring that's hysterical so i had one and after one i'm like yo i can't drink anymore because my stomach is killing it hurts it's so it's like sugar water and yeah it's wild it's not good it is not very good but no i i can't drink like my brother recently beck and i were in the delhi and i like looked at a four local and i was like oh and she's like you know what one day no let's just get them and just like drink them together and i was like that's a bad idea that's a terrible idea like even i even though they recall them and fix them i still don't fucking trust it sounds like a great idea for everybody but you two because i think that would be some incredible stories would come from that oh like if you two blacking out on four

locals by yourselves like if it was just us three and like we had nothing but four locals right now you'd be down 100 i honestly would do that but i would like get everything out of this room and i would lock the door from the outside from the outside give us in here oh yeah like that would be fucking dangerous like yeah it's like honestly drinking four locals like tripping on addison you gotta have like a spotter like it's bad it's someone they're ready to catch well not this new shit the new shit they like bitched it down but now it's like remember you we bought a bunch before they got recalled and you're asking me if i still have original four loco frankie joey before they got recalled you bought like six cans and you had them in your room you don't remember

that i do remember that do you still have them no i don't where are they i don't know do you're talking about 2011 keith burley drank them no no they're still they're still at your house somewhere if we find them i will drink them i'll throw up everywhere that was the thing too i was i was out i that was so dumb i forgot i forgot about that but they were saying how they're gonna recall recall them so i went to the deli and it bought like six because you're worth millions and i yo every time i've had one i hated it but i was like we need these yeah they're a relic of the past you can get drunk for four bucks it's like the whole night it was fucking crazy and also is actually there's a new thing or it's kind of new natty rush yes i saw it and joey sent

a screenshot to me and i was like let's do a video of us just drinking that and seeing what happens man that would have been yo it's not out like next week it's not out of course it's out when is it i don't know i have it in my warehouse damn we gotta go get that i'll i'll ask my boss to be like hey can we like a thing a natty rush a case yeah three we'll do a video we'll do a whiskey toss toss a whiskey talks with natty rushes yeah and then it's just be us three sitting on the couch just like i'm not even kidding i'm getting sick thinking about it i'm getting really excited thinking about it really because my heart my like chat in the middle of my chest starts burning well next week you're off me and joey don't have real jobs so kind of like if there if you guys

give me one night to dedicate to blacking out thursday uh we're going out aren't we eight percent alcohol that's not a lot it's it's energy drink with alcohol that'll fuck you up it's the basically the original four local yeah but they thought wait what was the four local what was that alcohol percentage i think it was like the same yeah like nine eight or nine really i think so but it was just it fucked you up because it was basically cocaine and alcohol what is the no no no four locals 12 percent oh different all right so we just have to get more natty rushes or just get four locals and play power hour with it no no i'm not doing that i literally will not do that like i'm afraid to do that you've never played power hour

i have but i with beer not fucking 12 alcohol beer well you'll drink like one and a half of those in an hour why would i sign up for that if we black out we black out dude no you have two bathrooms it's okay yeah i don't know what that means we'll put all our phones somewhere so we can't use them yeah black out on natty rushes dude that's been a legit fear of mine lately right get drunk and i'm like why did i say that oh my god so many but it's not like oh my god why did it take that trick until i want to bang her it's just like i like i'm just so like the other day i got drunk by myself by accident like these ipas that i have a really high in alcohol percentage i don't even look at the can until afterwards i'm like oh fuck that that's gonna get me and

then i had three of them i didn't have dinner so i didn't have food in me so i was hammered and i was on xbox and i like snapchat at a picture of me going like drunk on xbox and i'm like what the fuck did i do that like that shit bothers me like oh my god what am i in high school again like i swear i'm drunk i swear to god i am we can follow those accounts we don't want to be a part of them though yeah it's we can well we always do it for state don't ever forget that though no yeah you were in rough shape the other night we were playing we were playing cod why did i just notice that oh it's the greatest fathead i have one on my door too yeah it's a of that guy yeah who is it no it's a random guy no i don't think he knows that someone was gonna

make that picture basically i mean what my cousin is referring to is that uh i just call you pete i don't know why i have to keep saying that uh we're not friends just cousins what he's talking about is like i have the fathead of uh this random asian dude um it's in one of your videos right right because i made a video about things you can actually buy like things that are super random that you could actually buy like there's like a baby circumcision trainer which they actually just took off of amazon damn it but you could practice circumcisions or this thing might have been a goodbye can you imagine how much extra skin you would have if you did it to someone um and this is this is one of the things is it was like this you could buy a random

uh yo i swear to god i hope this doesn't come off insensitive i think that's someone that works for nintendo that guy it looks it looks like someone that works for nintendo that i've like seen videos or pictures of before like them talking about like zelda or some shit see i think you're wrong in being insensitive fuck god damn it pete it's okay it's okay to be a little so do you guys have new year's resolution i have no new year's resolution how long is it gonna take us to go i just want to look less so like since cod came out i've hit in the gym a lot less yeah and it shows i just want to get back to looking not disgusting see this is what i hate about new year's resolutions why do you have to wait until january 1st it's an excuse yeah it's a hundred percent an excuse for

me that's what pisses me off no but you remember i was hitting the gym hard with you i remember and then cod came out and they're clearly i had to get my kd to a certain level letting yourself go 2018 that's well it's winter wait too you know what i mean like stop it that doesn't exist yes it does it does now pete's cutting right now i know well it's all right we're gonna go back to cutting season together so i found some good workout plans one of them might might be ryan reynolds deadpool workout plan wow he's a top 10 guy he's a top 10 hot dude easily top 10 he is so hot i would top two that is a guy that i would kiss like straight up yeah i would do it i'd kiss him and i'd be super pumped to do it yeah me too like i wouldn't be like disappointed or upset i'd let

people post pictures of me kissing him me too i would hope that paparazzi are there i would tell ryan reynolds like yo listen i'm meeting with this i know you have a i know you're he's married to break levy right yeah which that is a that is the hottest relationship on the planet no you're a straight guy no i'm a straight guy but this is happening did you ever see him in andrew garfield kiss no andrew garfield not a fan that's what i'm saying like not a not a good hot dude nope when i saw him i was like this is a like a hot like american guy like a like all right and then he said pit and i was like that's fucking awful for what it's worth took us about 90 seconds to get off topic again this this is this is what this pocket is about 80 days this is what this is about

these ip is oh my god joey got so pissed with me because he brought back like 2011 joey and got like ghetto for a sec when we were at the mall i really didn't you know he did no we were waiting to get a mall parking spot and um this guy was pulling out and he like turned it on first and he rolled on the way he was like you get no i know i see it i promise you i didn't say that yes he did if you watch any because it was a black guy and frankie was like he thought that i was trying to like yo he turned it on 110 percent i wasn't i was like yo you getting out if you watch any of his old videos he'll he talks like that yo oh my god my old videos i will i look back and watch on them i'm like yo what's up it's joe yeah he's like no i'm not really trying to do that

like i'm like someone be talking to me i'm like nah i yo i really i in my old videos it really drove me insane like i went back and watched some of them and i'm like god why did i say like i look back on most of what i said yo to my defense like everyone spoke like no no not even like i actually talked like that for a certain like a period of time where i sounded like that's what i'm saying like that's how everyone so like it comes out sometimes when i say certain senses or when i'm in a certain mood or something you're back to the real you but it's never because there's a black person around or some shit it's never like that like today i was just like yo you getting out no like no you didn't know i swear to god and i immediately pointed out and he was like

no it's not how i said it now i'm a surfer yeah i went right from like your fucking macho man's son i kind of love when people don't get out like your brothers i could have conversations with for days and it's just i i swear to god i've said this before i don't know how are related sometimes like they'll come out of nowhere like i'll get home and i'll be like hey guys what's up gang gang like fuck yeah you fucking pdg pdg yeah i don't know but it's like uh but anyway we have to go our secret santa party is starting soon i think people might be here people might be outside who knows uh but anyway pete where can they find you if they want to contact you if i'm on instagram at p malino 27 that's pretty much it not a big twitter guy and freki freki underscore alvarez 80 on twitter

f alvarez 80 or f alvarez underscore 80 on instagram go to joey's page i'm in pictures with him i think if you ever both pictures of me uh and then i do a wrestling podcast called the square circle jerks uh every week that comes out if you like wrestling sports entertainment or you just for some dumb reason like hearing my voice you can go and follow and listen at scj pod on twitter and yeah that is all thanks for listening honey merry christmas a very great happy new year closing time time to end the podcast because we need to go and drink some beer