The Basement Yard - Davino Can't Add

Episode Date: March 7, 2017

On this episode, @AntVino & I talk about stuff.. because that's what you do on a podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. It is March 6th. I am not Joe. It is me, Anthony Sad story Joe was walking his dog and got hit by a scooter He's hospitalized what happened to fun you asked that Ralph It was I wasn't with him I saw a video and he was walking his dog and this kid was at least going 65 on his razor and Blindsided him. It was crazy actually. Um his face is redone and He'll be alright. Yeah, what is wrong with you? That was good. That was good

But what kind of scooters is that they're going 65 miles an hour razor push scooter with the leg? Oh my god Welcome back to the basement yard as Davino said it is Monday March 6th I'm in my new apartment right now So you may hear a little echo because there's no furniture in this room not even a table We're just kind of huddled around a this recording device my dogs here and a fire, right? There's a little fireplace over here, but um Yeah, I made the move so we're out of the old place into the new one It's it's a little weird it's not it's gorgeous. No, it's great

I love it, but like you're you're alone a lot of the time and it's huge, you know Yeah, this place is so big. It's everyone's dream apartment. I'm not gonna lie. I mean, I don't know about that It's got a beautiful roof. It's got a beautiful roof the lights and the couches. I mean the couches Oh on the roof. Yeah, if it was always summer It'd be perfect just to stay up there and hang out a little bit I can't wait so it's like better whether I'm gonna wake up and just go outside and I might take off work and join you There you go. Yeah, I'm not mad We're drinking 10 a.m. Beers on the roof by myself

Texting everyone I know please please come over, you know, I think about drinking at 10 o'clock in the morning sometimes Yeah, I mean, that's the first step in alcoholism. Yeah, I mean, I'm not nervous The second step is acting on it the third step is I'm meeting becoming homeless because your parents hate you and no longer want to support you my drinking problem My mom sees me bring home a six pack and she's right away starts panicking. She tells my dad to like talk to me My dog's barking over here. He looked at himself in the mirror That happens, you know, so you wait you drink six packs by yourself. No, I bring home like a six pack I have a beer after work every day one beer and my mom. Oh, no, he's an alcohol

You know Again, oh not this I'm like, are you kidding me? It's one beer like relax. Oh You should start drinking wine It's good. I could go through a bottle in two hours an hour. I can't drink wine. Delicious. It's like water I like physically can't no Joey. It's physically water Physically, I can't do that. I love it. It drives me insane There was one time I was on a date with this girl and I didn't know we were doing wine It was like it was probably like one of my first real dates

Like you know going dates when you're like in high school and shit You just kind of like walk around you go to you go to Applebee's. Yeah, that's like that That used to be my first date spot continue We went to a restaurant and You know, I'm ordering she orders her food and then she just goes can we get a bottle and I was just like I guess we're fucking doing this now So she ordered a bottle of something and it showed up on like a cart with fucking ice and shit and I'm just like drinking it like Oh, no, it's great. I like it, you know

And of course the guy comes over and he makes you taste it when they bring the wine out It's like they give you a little sample and you have to like swirl it around your glass. Yeah, but Yes, yes, I'll take that. Did you do that? Yeah, I had to yeah, just sit there and win. Okay. Yeah, no I drank it. I was like and I pretended to sit there for a second like like enjoying the day I was just like, yeah, I'll have that. That's great Like it was so dumb. That's awesome. And then I was just drinking that the entire night and it was it's disgusting It's I just can't Like I mean, it's come to a point. Here we go ready to me. It tastes like water. Yeah, you have a problem

I mean and and sometimes no, but why it depends like I don't like a big aftertaste, you know strong It's a little watery to me. So I drink I could Andrea saw me drink. She's oh, yo, you need to chill Like you could drink a whole bottle. I was like, I just you know, I did I did it but again my mom complained Anyway, so I moved into this place and like I don't have a lot of furniture like I said And I had a bunch of artwork that was in my house and in the studio So I was like, let me just take all of this and I had it and I was sitting on the couch My brother Thomas was here and I was like, dude, I can I want to hang up all these paintings But like no like I have all these paintings. I need to hang up and I don't want to do it

He's like, why don't you just use the app handy? Mm-hmm. I was like the fuck is that? I thought it was like a Uber for handjobs type of thing video game. Yeah, you fucking requested They show up beat you off and they leave tip them through the app But it's like for like handyman or whatever handyman a handyman comes over and he does whatever you need him to do Which is a cool app free advertisement, whatever, but in this instance, I You know, I was like fuck it. I'm gonna do it. Well, me and DeVino. We put up a couple paintings

Yeah, and I was like, all right level. Yeah, no level on there pretty fucking straight. I think they're good Yeah, so I was like, you know what? I'm not gonna be like a little bitch like I'll put up my own stuff But I had this coffee table and an end table that I didn't want to put together and I also wanted to try out this app So I was like, I could use this as an excuse for being lazy. So I Ordered it. You like put in how many things you want them to build So I was like, all right one small thing one medium thing. They have like options or whatever and And then they send it out I guess through the app to the two people that are around and this dude accepts it. I text him as I a thanks for

Accepting it. He said he was coming tomorrow. It's like cool Shows up cool guy, whatever, you know, he's putting together the coffee table everything's good and then he so he puts together the coffee table and He's like, yeah, I just got a couple a couple other things like real quick, whatever blah blah blah I was like, cool So then I went upstairs to go to the bathroom and my friend Greg was here and then he went to the bathroom

You know like while I was in there, so I didn't know so when I came out I see Greg just walking around the living room, but I'm like, what's up? He's like, where'd that guy go? I was like What he's like, yeah, where'd the guy go? I was like, I don't know And he just dipped he left so he didn't make the fucking end table. Did you check like your stuff? Like yeah, that's I was nervous about that. I was like, oh fuck like You know, like I thought I didn't know if the guy was like robbing me or whatever, but Dude, I don't know what I think happened is

You know through that through the app after a certain amount of time So I picked those two things and then it just made a time frame of two hours So he was there for over two hours and then I got a text from the app It was like right year or whatever and at that point the guy was still working It was like all five stars to give him a five dollar tip and I was gonna tip him a $20 bill also But I already did that and he was still working on the other thing you gave him a $20 tip while he was no No, I had it in my pocket and I was going to give it to him, but I went to the bathroom real quick Can you imagine I gave that to him then he fucking left I've been so pissed but

When I came out he was gone and I was like alright this guy already got his rating got a five dollar tip through the app Mm-hmm, so it's like 25. I'll tell you I made out. Yeah, I mean I was fucking pissed I was so dumb found maybe he read it wrong and he was like alright. I'm not I'm just gonna do it. He knew I know I know that he knew because he didn't say bye and we I was very friendly I offered to buy him lunch. I was like, you know, I'm ordering from the diner. Do you want anything? He's like, no, I'm good Like he knew he was gonna bounce. He's not like he's not staying for lunch, but yeah, I mean that's crazy How yeah, I was fucking pissed. Holy shit, you know, they even offer like this. It's crazy because they even offer to You know if you're not gonna be home

Leave a key somewhere and they'll go get it and then let themselves in and build shit Wow So it's like yo this dude I was there and the guy left it didn't do all like all the work Did he seem like a little weird like no he was just a nice guy and I was like what the fuck Maybe he reached his limit and it's a two hours. He's like I'm dipping. I'm not doing anything else This kid lied and said I'm small. I know but the end table is a small thing. No, yeah Table took longer than I guess he expected or whatever. He also broke his phone when he was there. He dropped it No, yeah, so I was like, I don't know what that is. I'm sorry man, whatever But you know, I don't fucking know but I was like, I was like, what the fuck you were nice to do

Do you think he'd stay for a little bit? I would have taken the lunch and dip to at least like tell me you're like, yo Listen, I was supposed to be here for two hours. I have another job to do like I can't finish this I'd have been like cool and I still would have given the $20 tip because it did take longer than it than it did You know what I mean? It did, you know, that's not my fault the fucking app made the times But yeah, the table came out great. Table was great. He did a phenomenal job at the table Now you got to put that shit together. Yeah, I gotta put together the end table. We all come over with doughnut again this weekend Do it. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. This kid Davino fucking calls me He's like, yo, I'm coming up. What was like 10 a.m. Was it eight? I text you at 8 and I left that like

He's he texted me in the morning. He's like, yo, I'm coming over with doughnuts There's a doughnut place around there. They got phenomenal doughnuts. I'm coming. I was like, okay Shows up these doughnuts have ones like a carrot cake doughnut ones like a huge peanut butter and jelly doughnut Yeah, which it tastes exactly like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. There was a coffee doughnut. You didn't try Oh my god, you know, this coffee doughnut Was amazing. It was kind of spongy on the inside a little wet, you know, like like tiramisu like vagina or that tasted orgasmic Delicious you didn't try it. What else did they have the red chocolate one?

How'd you like the chocolate chocolate one was fire? Yeah, it was like chocolate with chocolate and then with chocolate sprinkles on it I'm gonna bring them again But I'm gonna get the small ones. Fuck the peanut butter. We tried it x that out I think that was the only big one that they had and then like a green tea one. No They have a green tea doughnut these fucking hipsters. The story is is that I went in there and I was like, I don't know what to buy I don't know what you like and you're like, oh, yeah, just get like a 12 pack So I was like, all right expensive. They yeah, I mean the big ones were they're like four dollars and 75 cents a doughnut So I was like, all right, you know, give me give me these like I got scared. There were people behind me

I've never been here before their pros. I'm not yeah, and I'm like, I'm like I'm like, I want those I want those these and I didn't even get coffee I wanted to get coffee and they were just like no, just I'll take those I gotta go I gotta go and I scan and I dip and I'm like, what did I do? I didn't want carrot cake, but it was delicious There's walnuts in there. Oh I'll go back and I'll bring some more over and we'll have a party You didn't get anything with like icing The red velvet listen the red velvet wasn't red velvet. You bit into it and you tasted green tea

So it was a green tea red velvet cupcake How's that even possible a red velvet cupcake is just a color. It wasn't like that that icing, you know that good icing I'm gonna get good ones next time. There was only like I picked he picked like the first four You gotta go in there confident, dude. Yeah, man. I gotta go in there acting like I know what I'm doing Figure it out. Yeah, I was like, I was so nervous. There was people everywhere. They were like, you know, they were Cool, but like I know in the back of the head. They were like, yo, fuck face. Hurry up. Yeah. Yeah all right Let's talk about the sponsor today only one today guys and guess who

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So not only do you have a nice meal But you have a nice fucking Good day. Now you have some knowledge to bring with you for the rest of your life. Yeah how to cook things. All right And um, I might have to start using that because I just moved in and I don't even have pots and pans yet I bought eggs. I don't have a pan. I don't know why I bought eggs. Why would you do that? I have to go buy them tomorrow Yeah I don't know why I didn't buy them today. I had a ton of time to do shit, but I just did where you're gonna go You're gonna go to like a cooking supply house or you're gonna go to like what the fuck is a cooking?

So I'm gonna go to bed bath and beyond. Yeah, I was gonna say go get bed bath and beyond. It's a cooking supply house Who knows You do whatever you want bro. I'm pretty sure you just made that up. I didn't make shit up You know, I have a really funny story. Can I tell you really quick? No, I'm doing blue apron right now You can tell me afterwards for less than 10 dollars per person meal Blue apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home cooked meals Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blue apron.com slash basement

That's blue apron.com slash Basement that's attractive. What was your stupid? Oh god Joey? We're on I'm an electrician. I work in the city And we're on the 40. No, we're on the 59th No, we're on the 51st floor All right on the deck. There's nothing else in front of us just sky world trade center and blue So we're looking out to me my form and two workers and another helper

And I'm not gonna use his name and we're looking straight out into the um Into jersey because you can see jersey from the city work. Um, right on rivers not riverside Um, what is that that highway? What that highway by the intrepid chelsea pierce espo plays it. What's that highway called? What there's a highway You know where espoir the fdr? No, I don't know it's in the city. Whatever. It's of relevant So we're I'm looking towards the water and you can see jersey in my form

It goes he's talking to my friend and he goes. Yeah, look at that. He was it's all jersey It's beautiful And my boy's like, yeah, it is and he goes look at that out there You see that and he goes you see those mountains and he's like, yeah, and he goes It's the rocky mountains. No, my friend goes. Yeah, man. That's crazy. That's awesome. Look at that and I'm looking at him like now like Stop and I'm like I look away because I'm gonna laugh and he goes. Yeah, that's it right there. Look how it all extends He goes, that's crazy. I didn't know like you could see it and then one of the other polish guys that aren't from America

Yes, those are the rocky mountains And he's looking and I'm like, yo, there is a certain level of fucking stupid And he's way past it and my phone looks at him and he goes you fucking kidding me and he goes what and he goes Colorado seven hours away. I ran like full speed to the other side of the building laughing He's like, oh, oh, oh, and I'm like, yo, you're just dumb Like you're just yo the rocky mountains. Are you serious? It was the abolition mountains. Oh my god. I couldn't breathe I was dying. I was like, yo, you're go down leave And he's like, oh, you guys are fucked up

You know, and he tried to put a kick me sign on the back of my uh jacket and I was like now, buddy You try to put a kick me sign on it was this fucking 1990. That's what I thought it was. I was like, yo, dude Fucking 1980s high school movie. I was like lol Uh leave Those movies were great and drank my coffee What was the last movie that was made that was kind of like that? I don't know these kids. They don't know nowadays nowadays. They get high school musical. They love that shit

I love that shit, but I know but you gotta have the 90s movies like the breakfast club Yeah, yes breakfast club, but like the other movies where there's like a jock who's like shoving people into lockers fucking nerd That was um, you need that You need to be bullied in high school. That was the movie with um, oh and wilson was a homeless guy and The kids in junior high school or high school paid him to be like their protector Wait, what? Yeah, oh and wilson is a homeless guy. I'm sure everybody will tell you what it is if they can All right, can you explain this again? I'm gonna look it up Oh and wilson was a homeless guy and these little kids like he was looking for a job and these little kids asked him to be like

Their protector in school like come beat this guy up for me. Oh drill bit taylor. Yep. That's it Right. Did you see it? I haven't but I had I do know you're talking about that. It's so funny the kid from uh Forget it. I can't even finish the story. It's a good movie It's a good I liked it a lot. I don't know Whatever um

Yeah, so the last time divina was here. We were talking about The fucking button from amazon which by the way, I'm seeing a lot more of how you went on amazon I go on amazon. I buy everything from amazon. I literally just spent $900 and one shot on amazon but the table of the table I bought a liquor cabinet and a bunch of other shit that I probably don't need that actually comes to a good price for $900 No, yeah, the table was 400. Oh good liquor cabinet was 200. How big is the table? 70 inches long how how Okay, across is 35

All right, so it's like a decent, you know, it fits like Four comfortably six you could fit there and there's benches. I like it because it's so country. It's crazy I want a barbecue. You need a barbecue on the roof Yeah, eventually But not like one of those. I don't know how to cook hamburgers on those fucking barbecues Just call me I can do grills But the barbecues the circle things whenever I do it the meat falls. No You want a big barbecue the ones that you open the top of your mouth? Yeah

Yeah, like a grill. I want a barbecue this summer. No, right. But the I'm talking about the little fucking charcoal No, fuck that throw that out. Yeah, I know you gotta put tin foil down. No, you gotta do a bunch of fucking things We're not going to a park and barbecue and we're trying to live Drink beers drink, you know, good country drink blood You know, I mean stay out of the moonlight. I love country music. This is a vampire movie now. We're talking about twilight Uh, what the fuck were you just talking about? You bought oh the last time the button. Yeah, yo, you mean to tell me you're not gonna buy those buttons No, I refuse but you can put them in your cabinet a lot of them just press them when you need them

Yeah, but I still don't trust it. I mean either. But what are you gonna do? I don't trust that this guy's gonna show up. Yeah, I got 50 fucking Doritos Can you imagine one of my friends found one of those things in my apartment? I would It should be abusing it. It's like this guy shows up with a truckload of fucking cool ranch Doritos How about I wouldn't be upset but I'd be like, yo, what the fuck and what if you liked it and it worked and you said damn Yo, yo, yo, divino. That's fucking great. It's so clutch and then we all buy it and everybody has it And then it just expands across the world and dammit. Well, then I won equity if that's gonna say that's how it goes I started it

Uh, but we were talking about these these this button how it's kind of like ridiculous It's making us all lazy and shit, but another thing that I think you found two other things What was the other thing? I don't know. What are you talking about? All right, why are you looking around? What are you doing? I'm just blanking out. I thought we found two of them I don't know, but I remember you found this app, uh with the dogs. Yes It's like, all right, all right when you were talking about handy. I was on instagram I guess because I downloaded the app, you know how instagram now pop things pop up on instagram and you search

so this app is called wag And um, basically it's like like just like like handy. It's like uber It's it's uber for your dog Like you see the the guy comes to your apartment or your house He picks up your dog and it shows the route of where he went To walk your dog and then it shows little pop-ups of where he took a pee and where he took a poo Are you kidding me? Swear to god and I looked at him like this. I just burped him. Sorry

That's bad if I smell it. I'm gonna hit you with my microphone. I started talking right after but um, it uh It's crazy because like you see the route and it just Don't get me wrong. I kind of think it's a good app No, I do too. I just think it's it's a lot you're putting a lot of trust in somebody But I feel like everyone's just copying uber now with this whole route. Shit. No, they are and it's a I think it's a great business model Also, it's creating a lot of jobs for people who don't necessarily need What about certification the dog walkers that have business already now? What do they do? They just convert over to this app

I don't do the ones in like Manhattan are chilling. They I don't know how those fucking people walk 40 dogs If they you know at one point I saw this dude sitting on the on the sidewalk like on like a bench thing And they were like legit nine dogs and they all sat and laid down They lied did I say Lay down lie down. Yeah, whatever and it was the coolest thing I just wanted to go roll around and play with them all You know like whoa buddies I saw this video actually on youtube where this is dude who was like a dog walker

But they were all his dogs. We weren't other people. He had like eight and they were like Rottweilers, maybe okay, but they were all they no leash would walk them all that's scary in Manhattan So they would just they would all sit when he wanted to they would stop and they would all like you know what I mean They would all fought like it was crazy. They were good. Well, he people were probably scared. Oh, yeah They're like, oh fuck. What's going on here? But we're dead. Yeah, this this guy was killing it But those those dog walkers. I don't know how they do it. I walk charlie. I want to I just want to kill myself He's pulling me or he's

Listen, he hasn't shit all day I'm pretty sure he's gonna wake me up at 2 a.m But try and take a dump or he's gonna dump on my bed Listen, these guys are walking dogs for what 45 dollars a dog and they're twice a day They know what they're doing. Wait, is that what the cost is yo, all right, put it this way Did you look at us up? Listen, no, I spoke to somebody but listen do the math Say you're a dog walker. Oh, I'll charge you 25 dollars a walk and you have eight dogs

That you're walking or like say like five What's that right there? What is that two four six eight? That's 10 um This is good 10 20 125 dollars a day Listen, that's I know I don't I don't even know if that's right. Say it is 125 125 dollars For a morning walk now imagine if you want to have to noon walk. That's fucking 450 dollars. No, it's not. What? No, it's not

That's 250 250 dollars a day time out joey That's Here we go Wait, what do you want? What do you want? I'll help you multiply that by five Multiply what by five? 250 dollars 250 dollars times five that is Uh, 1250 a week

Say that happens a week. That's only five dogs. Imagine if they want. Oh, yeah I want you to to walk my dog once a day. No, no How about in the afternoon too because I'm at work 99 of the day So think about that. Oh forget it, bro. And that's cash the fuck that I That I mean, yeah It's amazing. I just I'll quit my job today. If you give me eight dogs

I feel like I feel like 25 dollars a walk is heavy though heavy. What do you mean 20? Who's paying that? Um park avenue people. Oh, yeah, obviously those guys you see them all over. I'm saying like in general How do you get into I'll go up to anyone who lives on park and you'd be like, yo $50 all day twice a day That's what you got to say. Listen $50 twice a day I'm your guy. So I'll put it together. That's how much you're walking dogs trying to keep them away from people taking dumps Chasing pigeons. Wait, listen. Yeah, $50 a day for two walks for a person. That's $100 to it's 125 dollars a week. Wait, what $150 a week?

What's $150 a week for a person if they go, okay, I'll take that deal $150 a week You walk my dogs twice a day take the hundred fifty dollars That's a steal You said a hundred fifty dollars a week No a day shit. Wait, what I'm you're get confusing your math is really fucking terrible. All right. So you got $50 a day a day Right, so that's my name is Friday one week. So that's Listen 50 100. No, I'm doing it 150 200 Right $250 $250 a week to walk your dog twice a day. That's a that's pretty good. If you ask me, all right

You know, if you even want damn you I'm really stupid even if you got if you had two dogs You're chilling. I'm an electrician, bro. I can't do math. Yeah, that's all right. It's okay I can measure wall awful walls and I can make your fucking house light up. Exactly. I'm not a bit He can't do math. Nope zero I multiply I can't even divide on paper, but we're not gonna get into that because I'm an electrician. Let's keep going All right, so anyway 12 times 12 is

All right Shut up, bro I need to calculate for the only reason why I know what 12 times 12 is off the top of my head I'm really bad with math I can do math like at light speed if I write it down Even when you tell me it I have to like write it in the air because I can't just do it in my head Keith is like you could tell him anything like 13 times 406 and he'll do it in like 10 seconds. That's my dad

You could give my dad the craziest long division Problem and he'll be like all right, hold on and he'll do it in his head and like this is the answer He's a fucking he's an accounting. He's nice with it. Yeah, it's crazy. He's nice with it I don't know what I was talking about just now Whatever fuck anyway, uh this app wag is uh I like these apps. They create jobs for people Handy and wag handy is a great job. You know, you get people who come over and just don't fuck with you after an hour No, I'm gonna use handy

For um the house cleaning do it for my mom get that happen. You sent me the 30 dollar So I'm gonna use that. Yeah, I'm probably still gonna use the app honestly Yeah, but I'm just gonna like not leave and watch some work But yeah, um or make it clear to the most and this is what I asked you to do Like will you do this or will you leave? Right? Are you gonna fucking how much did the guy make 90 93? No, I don't know if he made that all right the the company and he may say he makes I'm not gonna do this um

A fucking coffee table for 93 dollars. Yeah, I would have done a few for 93 dollars pay me Yeah, and everyone's like, oh, you should report him and try to get some money back And I'm like, yeah, like this guy knows where it lives And also don't want to be the reason why he loses his job or something or gets yelled at Fuck this throw a brick right through my fucking window or try to kill you. Yeah, um Jesus um, anyway, uh, also which one so Obviously these apps are making everyone more lazy than we actually are and I'm totally on board with that. Honestly. I'm not gonna pretend like I'm here like oh, we should all work

hard And do whatever because the other day I went to my laundromat Um before I moved in here and I did all my laundry Which I was down to my last outfit by the way Wait, you did your laundry like you put the stuff in there and you wait no, no, I went and I dropped it off Yeah, I always drop it off. No, I mean, so I mean I have a washing machine in my house So like I could do it. I just don't And my mom doesn't do it. She's like fuck you I haven't done

I've been doing my own laundry since I was like 14. She like gave up on me My mom recently stopped doing my laundry like me I want to say a year ago and she basically said fuck you. There you go. You know pay me more rent There you go, and I struck her out real quick But I went to my I went there and the guy was like hey if you need us to pick up your laundry We'll come pick it up. We'll do it. We'll drop it off. I'm like what they do that Yeah, so they've been doing that for you. No, I have a washer dryer here. So I do my own laundry, but um Have you done it yet here? Yeah, I did yesterday. Is it cool?

It's fucking washing your clothes. What do you mean? Is it cool? It's brand new stuff. It looks like it's pretty cool Yeah, I mean, it's you know Is it cool that fuck does that mean did you flood it? Did you flood the house? No, you're standing in the house You okay that math really fucked you up, huh? My eyes are killing me Oh, man, but that's that's an amazing thing. I will do anything to get out of folding laundry. I fucking hate it Did you tip the people that did your laundry? Like would you leave like five bucks like here's this for you or you just give them what they oh, no I didn't is that bad? No, because I don't tip either. I just give them the money and I leave

I'm bad. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if I'm supposed to but they make money I'm a really good tipper though because I used to work. I used to be a pizza delivery boy So I I always tip at least like there's a diner at the corner like I can Throw a rock and hit it and whenever I order food I always tip like three fifty four dollars because when I was A delivery boy. Are you kidding me three fifty four dollars and they're down the block at least give five bucks They're down the block three fifty. Are you kidding three? So you hand him three fifty No, it's too seamless. So that's even worse. So at the end of the night, he's like, yeah, here's three dollars and fifty cents Do you know are you him the solid four or five?

You you're gonna tip someone five dollars for I could throw a rock and hit it So then get off the ass and go get it. Yeah. Yeah, no, I'll give you three bucks to do it three thousand fifty cents Yeah But when I usually tip like if it's snowing out, I'll tip people like eight bucks. Yeah, not ten You don't tip anyone you fucking I do tip because my brother used to be a waiter. I know the feeling you tip 10 Yeah, you know, not 10 because your brother was a waiter. What the fuck that means three fifty maybe like five bucks If I know the person yo when we went when Eric was my waiter at albus I think I gave him like $40 once he'll tell you I gave him a $40 or $50 tip. That's your friend. I was intoxicated

There you go. That'll do it too. But I did I was as my boy. I'm gonna take care of my boy You never delivered shit to my house. You never ordered. Yeah, bitch. My mom dad did I think Yeah, I think I tip well. I always tip bartenders. Well, oh, of course. Yeah Remember the bartender at flat tops It was a dude. He was making all my money. Remember that you that girl you ordered five drinks in a row Yeah, five drinks in a row and I was just letting them loose and he was like, yeah, what do you want anything? I think he wanted it. You gotta do it. You go to a packed bar. You tip the guy $10 the first drink and he comes back Yeah, and then you start tipping like two bucks

Yeah, sometimes I tip I'm a good tipper. Yeah, especially when I go out to eat if I go out to eat even if even if the bill is like $20 I'll tip $10. Yeah, no, you won't. Yes, I will. You'll put $9.50 down You know what I do actually all the time You can make it you can make your tip whatever you want on seamless and I always try to make it a round number So I sometimes I'll be tipping like 417 just so the bill says $15. Oh I think I tried that I always do that. That's you probably can't do that because you can't add if you I'll tell you this if you gave me 17 cents, I'd spit in your face

You don't give them the money this mat the end of the night they get the money You fucking prick Dude, I worked at portobello and I used to get changed all the time and I fucking loved it Cash it all in take it to the bank. Yeah Right before a vacation. You got all the spending money. You didn't know you had You're chilling kick you right in the teeth Give me 17 cents Watch you're like the worst tipper ever

You tip everyone $5. Yeah, that's it like that's like the least like you know unless you get a check that's like Fucking what is it like 80 90 dollars? You can't get $5. You got to give like what is it like dude? I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about if I order a burger and they and they walk it to my house Oh, give me three bucks three dollars. Exactly. That's what I said. You fucking asshole 350. What's wrong with 350? It's terrible. I don't want 50 cents. What am I gonna do 50 cents put money in the fucking quarter machine So you want less paid for parking you want less money? I don't know You want less money? I know Listen sense adds up, bitch. Yeah, I'm telling you

That's what I'm talking about. I'll order a burger 10 dollars. I'll give them four bucks You're not ordering just a burger. Don't be like that. I do you order definitely like the other day you ordered Peniel vodka chicken and it was like three other things there and it looked absolutely amazing What was your tip 250 to 16? No, I never tip two ever. What was it? I don't know prick. I'm gonna look it up now. You piece of shit. I'm gonna fucking look it up You're a liar. I'm a good tipper and you're a fucking asshole. I don't think I tip bad Who can't that guy? I'm gonna I'm looking it up

I'm gonna find out right now Peniel vodka It was 1495 and a 225 Snapple I think you said 225 tip I was about to kick my shoe at your face Yes, but it doesn't actually doesn't say my tip. Yeah, because it's a dollar 75 Oh, I'm done the block go pick. So why didn't you click go pick up? Like because then I would have to leave my house and I'm one of these assholes who doesn't want to leave. All right, christ Did you walk to the front door or did you come upstairs? I always walk to the front door

You won't walk a couple more steps to the all right I leave my door open. I make them walk up to my bedroom next That's great. I'm upstairs No, but there has been times where I worked as a a pizza boy and this is why I'm saying I'm a good tipper because I'm not one of these people I'm not a phenomenal tipper. I'm not out here fucking dishing out five dollars or six dollars every time someone walks two feet but uh When I when I worked there and I was delivering pizzas like it would be

15 20 I think was what a pie cost and they would give me 20 bucks And then they'd ask for one dollar back And I'm like, you know what I mean? Which is like fine like whatever it's your money do what you want with it But in my head like I would never do that like what am I going to do with this one dollar? Like I'm giving you a tip, but yeah, can I get one dollar back? What did you say to them? Did you give him a face? I go no, no, no, I go. Yeah, here you go. Yeah, it's their money

They could do what they want with it, but like me as a consumer. I'm not going to be like, oh, give me one dollar back What's the most you ever got? From a tip. Yeah, I mean from catering orders you get like 40 bucks But regular pizza. There was one dude. I remember he lives on 35th street. I know the house and everything We always used to fight over the water But he would tip it's like a pie was 15 dollars. He would give you like 25 bucks Wow. Yeah, he would tip. No, he would give you 20 bucks. He would tip more than what the pie cost Was he cool? He was like an older dude

I'm assuming that he just had a bunch of money and he was holding he was like, fuck it. I'm a nice guy Wow, who would fight you like you and the other guys and the delivery guys we see the 35th street address I don't remember what the specific address was but at the time I knew it and every time I popped up we'd fight over it Would you really like how did you win that? I mean, you just had to be next up Wow, so like We would just wait around like if we had our orders like we could leave but we'd wait around and make and be like Don't even let me try to get it, but You know, it's nuts. That's awesome. Yeah, the guy was really nice, but

That's it Uh, anyway, I think we could wrap up here. Oh, wow. What time is it? What time are we dead? What time was it? We're 36 minutes right now. It's time flies when you have fun. You little bitch. Oh, that was a good one That was a good one I gotta get a table in here. Yeah, and some sponges and some cake sponges You know, maybe a little cake bar with cake pops. Yeah, I'm having fucking ice cream tonight for dinner I'm actually gonna have a look a cookie before I go to my hockey game You guys gonna win tonight or what? Yeah, why don't you come? No, man

What am I gonna do man? Like just come watch you play everybody else has come except joey So, you know, like I'm just gonna stay here and take care of my child first of all First of all, not everyone has come except me I would say most majority of our friends haven't gone 95 percent of them have No, 90 percent of them are on the team. You're uh, what are you saying? It's me who's going Ahmed me forg and nick. That's it. Name one other one. No one Dom's coming tonight. Yeah, well allegedly

That's a celebration if you say so Um, that is all to be, you know, where can they find you if they want to contact you same as always ant Vino And tv I know Fuck you and that is all. Thanks for listening. Yeah, motherfuckers