The Basement Yard - Do You Kiss More Lips Or Cheeks In Your Life?

Episode Date: December 22, 2025

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Welcome back to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. How's it going, Frank? I'm good. How's it going, lead singer of Weezer? I fucking got him so good, by the way. That's not very Christmas season. Hey, how's it going?

Give me some more. Hassan Piker. That's a good one. You look like him right now. Yeah. You know? I can see you searching for more. You can see the gears turning here, right?

I fucked up my eye. I put lotion in it three days in a row. What? The stakes were made. Yeah. How did you put lotion in your eye? I have this lotion that I put underneath my eyes, and it was getting into the corner of my eye, and then it kept burning it, and I thought it was my contacts, but then I realized I'm getting lotion to my eyes. So my eyes been red for like three days.

What, like, you were like squirting lotion? No, no, no. It's like a cream that goes underneath very. here it's just for this part of your eye oh it's like and then it was like seeping into the corner and it like fucked up you see how my eyes like a little red like it was it was a lot so you're applying lotion to your eye and then it just gets in your eyeball and it fucks up your your your whole vision yeah I was getting too close to the corner you were getting too close to the corner was sucking in all the lotion so you were like getting lotion so far two for two come

So far two for two. I mean, that's easy. That's low-hanging fruit there, baby. The fruits is right in front of your face, low-hanging and batting you around in the eyes. I don't know about that. But that's why I wear my glasses, because that's what Google told me. Like, that's, like, what's that style? There's like a, that's a style.

It's like horn-rimmed or something like that? Whoa, dude. Is that not it? Uh-oh. What did I say? Horn-rimmed? Horn-rimmed glasses. Is that not about that?

You're going to make a joke about lotion, but not horn-rimmed? Come on. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. But do you, like, is that, like, the only, like, style that you had? Because I feel like I've only seen you with that style glasses. No, these are new. Really? I got these, like, a couple months ago. But I wore the same pair for so long. Your employer got that vision insurance, too, right? Yeah. Hell yeah. I'm talking about that shit. But you didn't even wear glasses, really. What, the right? Yeah. Those are fake. You look like, you, your glasses look like your name was curly and you were beat up at the local, uh, uh, uh, diner. in the 50s. Three for three. Three for three.

See? Yeah, my body. My body gave up. Putting a spell on you now. But, no, you look, you look, whatever. Appreciate it. It's the Christmas season also. And it's got some gifts over there.

Yeah. What? I was going to say, those are immaculately wrapped. Now, is there one for me and one for Frank or both for me? Do you want both? God Yes Now for some reason

You said that in a way That makes me think That one of those things Is offensive Mm-hmm So I would say Give them both Oh are they offensive

Or are they gonna hurt No no no They're real gifts I just wanted to say Like thank you guys For everything Wait hold on Is this real

Oh shit Are you being Asshole No no no no I don't know here Is he being real nice guy Are you setting up asshole No I'm not

I'm not Stop showing asshole here I'm just like I'm coming up on Like producing here For a year Like in like a couple months What?

Yeah dude Where are you in? like my like bait my year birthday is coming up really yeah in a couple months one year of aunt but it doesn't feel like that am i crazy yeah i mean not not camera though right yeah that's probably i think it started at the exact same time at least my voice my voice on here for about a year at least like at first i feel like it was very light now we can't get you to shut up i oh you see how and i get in trouble first of all you're trying to dig yourself out of a hole you're in time out he's second of all i'm not in time out i'm breaking

I'm broken out of time out. He's doing that while I have, I'm presenting gifts. Yeah. This is very sweet. So this is a seriously sincere thing. Like you're not being like, ha ha, here's a fucking... We'll shut up now. And you do your...

Say how great we are. It was just thank you. Thank you to you to you too and thank you to everybody who accepted me here. I have gifts. What do you say to the people that didn't accept you? We also don't know if they have accepted you technically. Yeah, that's true. We kind of, yeah, we kind of forced it upon everybody.

In theory, you kind of just shoved, you got shoved down the throats of these people. It is true, yeah. Would you like the gifts? I would love them, yeah. Oh, sure. Who's going to get the bigger one? I imagine you. Oh, I got the big one.

Yeah, I saw that coming. Oh, it feels like a book. You need an over-counter. If that's a book, what, brother? Like a big Santa book. Can I just say this exceptionally well-wrapped? Great. Oh, this is thick wrapping paper.

Yo, the wrapping paper here is crazy. And something tells me, oh, this is framed. It's a frame. You didn't wrap this. No, I didn't. You absolutely didn't wrap. Yeah, this is. Um, I got to say.

say congrats on the wrap it looks great this is expensive wrapping paper this is good this is good yeah this is something like you can't poke a hole in this baby no i mean you can uh but is there like a specific order as to who should open theirs first i love that question because it's that's how you open gifts um i guess you i guess you should open it first i don't know i don't know how much you'll like wait i'm smelling a christmas tree is this scented no my am i bugging mine smells like like chemicals you have to scratch it first scratch and No, now you're fucking with me. I was.

But, yo, am I bugging? Yo, it low-key smells like pine. Uh, and we know he doesn't have a real tree, and that ain't one. That ain't, yeah. Well, if you have a fake tree, you put the pine-scented sticks in it. I know, and I hate it so much. Well, yeah. I think that's so me.

Alright, so I'm supposed to go first. You go first. Imagine it's just... Oh, he's one of these. You know, it's interesting. We're gonna see how people open gifts. Frankie, you could... You can.

You can. It's okay. I'm kidding. I'm not that. Yeah, okay. You're taking her dress off. Very slow. What is it?

Oh, that's cool. What is it? It's Smokey eats an electronic cocktail smoker kit. Whoa. Smoke them if you got them and boy do I got them. You talked about how you like a smoky whiskey and- Hell, I said that recently. You're good.

Wow, he pays attention. Yeah. Oh. So we got different smokes. Yeah. So we got peach. Is this like hookah? Oh, it's just wood.

Yeah, you put the wood in the machine in a hell yeah. Nice. You know I love that peach one. That's a great gift. Can I start smoking stuff now? Pecan, oak, apple, cherry wood? Tell him that he has to have a glass of whiskey tonight and send you a video. Oh, that'd be cool. Oh, you don't have to, though.

I mean, I will. I mean, you shouldn't electronically smoke in the bath just in case. I mean, I imagine these are battery operated? Yeah, yeah. You just put it in the top, and it does it automatically on your glass. That's beautiful. I'm breaking things already. This is really thoughtful.

Thank you so much, man. I really, really appreciate that. That's, I fucked that up. It's very sweet. Uh, it is incredibly kind. See, what the fuck, Anne? Why can't you be like mean? Why can't you be mean?

I want to start smoking shit now. Smoke up. Oh, and it comes with some recipes. The godfather. The godfather. What's that? Oh, it sits like this. On the glass.

On the glass. So it's. Yeah, and then it spits out the smoke. Amaretto. Sorry, you lost me. Not a big amaretto. guy scotch back in whoa and that's it nice yeah yeah that's all you need I guess so dragon's breath excuse me is that illegal bourbon St. Germain triple sec oh yeah who's

having a glass of triple sex and a smoked espresso tini you're in all right what's going on over there that's really cool thank you man I that's very thoughtful that's nice very appreciative thank you so much hmm all right let's find out what's in here I'm gonna get right under her dress Wait, did you ask? Oh, shit. Oh, I'm opening this perfectly because it's the back. So I get... That's a good...

I mean, a good rapper is going to put it on the right way, too. Oh, and there's some hanging material. There's some... Ready? Yeah. Oh, I think... I thought you're supposed to show the crowd first. I got you some wall art.

It's called The Perfect Martini. That is awesome. I love that. I am putting, I know exactly where this is going in my apartment. Does the color way work? I got it in an apartment space? Yeah. Oh, I love that.

I have like a little, like a thing, and now I can put this above it. That's what I thought. It's perfect. You got a lighter? Anyone got a lighter? I'm about to light this bitch. You know how perfect this is, actually? I do have like these color accents in my apartment.

So it works in transition, seamless transition into the color way. Thank you, Ann. Yeah, of course. That's awesome. You're a thoughtful. You know what? I'm a big fan of shit like this that's like, I feel like sometimes with people with gifts, it's like very, very personalized and there's not a lot of utility. This is nice. That is nice. These are great gifts.

Yeah. You're a good gift guy. You're a good gift, good gift guy. You're a good gift, good gift guy. You know? I'm glad you enjoyed. I am going to smoke the shit out of this bitch. Let me tell you.

I'll smoke it right now. You should take it and don't put it on a glass. Just put it on your mask. I think that'll be harmful to my health. You're drinking scotch, dude. It's not healthy. I mean, be honest with me. Have you ever, like, not felt great and you had a little whiskey or something?

No. Because you think it's going to, like, destroy the bad stuff? I've done it. I've, like, heard that. I've done it. It definitely feels like it when it's in your mouth. Frank, you can't go. You can't keep doing this.

I can let you go. I can just let you, I can let the world digest that. No, I've had, like, a tickle in my throat and just be like, I'm going to blast it with something, so why not be scotch? Yeah. Is that wrong? I think it's, I think it might be incorrect. I think, well, I have seen videos on TikTok of like, here's bacteria underneath the microscope, but then you add like some whiskey or scotch and they all done. Well, like, that's what they used to do back in the days of the Civil War.

And they, they were on to something. Well, half of them were on to something. Yeah. Let's be very clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would be, half of them would be like, ow, my leg hurts. Let me, you know, clean it with, you know, whiskey. Yeah.

The other half would be like, ow, I want to keep my slaves. Let me clean it with whiskey. Yeah, yeah. One of those sentiments, the good one, the northern one I agree with. Right, yes, exactly. Be very clear. Yeah. Okay.

I also got myself something. What's that? I got a little Christmas tree trophy because I won the Christmas tree decorating pole on my Instagram. Oh, fuck you. This guy's having a week. See, good gift giver. Got a little. tree won a contest also's got just a big fat mess of a dick yeah apparently stupid dick yeah just

an absolute i just wanted to toss that yeah you you and frank sinatra who apparently has a 19 pound cock wasn't that you dude yeah 19 fucking paul anka who's like an old-timey singer paul inca paul anchor oh isn't polenka somebody polenta is a like isn't that like it's like an italian like it's a Mushy rice. It's almost like grits. Yeah, yeah. It's like a corn paste. I'm kind of like that.

I'm into grits. I like mushy shit. Ooh. You know what I mean? Really? Yeah, I like mashed potatoes when they're mushed. Yeah, but I like a little, like on certain stuff, a little texture. Like, I think they do like polenta cakes, but they'll like pan fry them.

So you get a bit of a char, crust on the outside. And the inside is creamy. Oh, yeah. And mushy. Yeah. But. Big fat day. though.

Yeah. Apparently, you and Frank Sinatra. You guys share a dick. Share it. Yeah. You also share a love for alcohol. You know? Yeah.

I think if we start naming things. Same listening age on Spotify. Yeah. I think we'll be able to find a pretty consistent like through line. Through line between Frank Sinatra and Aunt Prisco. Wow. You know. What was the story with his big?

Well, Paul Anka came out. and said like it was true he had just like too much dick and like the joke was if he was 120 pounds 19 pounds was dick oh bro i also need the assumption that he actually had a 19 pound penis i'd like bro he can't use that i mean no way i will say this regardless of size if people are measuring your girth your cock in weight you've won how much do you think your penis ways without it without your balls not 19 pounds i was on the news two days ago and they asked me what the podcast was about how much his penis ways um i i can't give a number rams excuse you i mean excuse you do you think your penis is a pound i don't know what a pound is i think it's not a pound

How do you know? Like, it can't be. Who the hell are you? He's like, because this guy's walking around with a dumbbell in his pain. He's like, you don't want this. It's a tough life to live with a fucking heavy weiner. Yeah, tell us how difficult life is while your fucking tip scrapes against the floor when you walk. Yeah.

I'm getting too intense about it. Yeah, I think so. The details. I mean, what do you think? Can you, what is yours way? When I'm thinking about weighing it, I'm thinking about like, weighing a dust and and not because like a food scale like yeah like i'm thinking about like how much sugar you ever see those videos about how much sugar yeah where it's just like you're

drinking a coca cola here's the 50 grams of sugar that's what i'm thinking about um that's a great great question tell us buddy holly well the thing is uh that's a great song so he was also a person was he yeah dude i don't know it's one of the people that died on the plane The plane? Yeah, the day the music died. What? The song American Pie. Yeah?

I buy Miss American Pie, no. You don't have to sing that. I know. And that's the day the music died. There was like a plane crash. It had like the dude that sang La Bamba. I honestly did not know this. I know Leonard Skinner died.

Didn't they died in there? I believe they did as well. I mean, I'm not going to, well, I'm going to start using my phone during the show. Look up. Look up the plane crash. The day the music died. Okay. At first I googled what the average weight of a penis is. This is good. I don't know if that is helpful. Thank you. You know what? You've earned your spot right there.

There you go. Um, would you like to guess what the average weight of a penis is? Flasset. What do we give us the, give us the unit of measurement. Right. It's ounces. Ooh. 16 ounces and a pound. That's a glass of water. Or is that fluid. That ain't happened. Wait, no, no, no. Fluid ounces and weight ounces are different things. Okay. 16 ounces is a pint. A facket point. But what's 16 ounces is a pound, though? Uh, I think it, is it eight ounces as a pound?

Isn't it 12? Oh, fuck. So we're all over the place. Well, regardless, it's not 16. Um, I'm going to say seven. It's 16 ounces in a pound. 16 ounces is a facken pound. I'll say seven ounces is the average.

I'm going bigger than that, baby. I'm going. The average? I'm going 10. 0.25 ounces. The average. weight of a flaccid penis is 2.5 to 3.5 ounces.

Oh, wow. Okay, cool. Are you sure? Because mine is average and is fucking weighing. It feels huge and heavy, dude. 2.3 ounces. I mean, what's the point of weighing it at that point? My guy, let's use some simple math here. Simple math. Okay, we got this. We're, we're, we're, I'm already nervous. We're not stupid. So if the average length of a penis is

five what five inches two point five ounces right so that means that whatever the length is half it for the ounces the outsorship right so if it's five inches two and a half ounces right so if we're going and using that this guy had a 38 38 pinch 38 inch I see the math that's crazy you see it which is like yeah there's no way there's no way I mean you never No, dude. That was Frankie Blue Eyes. You think you got a small dick. Frankie Blue Eyes?

I love it we picked the Blue Eyes. Frankie Thick Hawk. Frankie fucking massive nuts. Climmy to the moon riding on his fucking fleshy rocket ship. Rocket ship of a calm. Yeah, that's exactly. I mean, you know. What a guy.

I mean, I think we just deduced. Yeah. Average. So, you're probably rocking. You're probably rocking. in like nine ounces well that would be insane i would i would i would act very differently probably what you did elaborate the weight of your penis is is in correlation with your personality probably yeah what would you be more of like just a cocky well you would be more cocky

yeah inherently yeah okay so you would just like if i guess cocky is the word yeah but i but but like you know we all know it's well documented he's gonna hate it but p's got a big wiener and um He'll know we mentioned him because his follower account goes up. Well, the other day, too, he was like, yo, did you say something about me? Because all of a sudden, I got a bunch of followers. I was like, I don't think so. We did.

Probably. Yeah, we absolutely did. Or maybe a clip went viral and it, you know. Yeah. They caught wind of the penis. I will say he is the rare exception. He doesn't like talking about it. Apparently that was Frankie Blois, too.

He didn't like talking about his massive weiner. I mean, because back then, everyone was afraid of being gay back then. Having a big wiener makes you gay. If you talk about a dick, you want to kiss it. Probably. That's their mentality. Oh. You know, I imagine. I didn't live at that time.

I mean. But I imagine he'd be like, hey, why are you? Why do you care? You know. Just away singing. I imagine Bill Hater. And I mean, I feel like over five, it feels. Richard Tozier.

What am I supposed to know who that is? Who's that? Richie Toosier, loser club? Loser Club? Oh, come on. It. It? yeah oh the kid from the movie yeah come on baby okay cool you know yeah you should know

all right i was gonna say pete is one of the rare examples of people that is like i don't want to i'm humble about my my fucking hose well think about that he doesn't talk about it at all so the fact that which is normal if we're being honest right and i mean yeah uh the fact that it has grown into an urban legend is magical. It's like Sasquatch in some ways, but also like

the urban legend sense. You know, like, it's like the Jersey devil, like the Chupacabra. Like there's other things, the moth man. You know, everyone has a story about it but no one can sit and confirm like, you know. Medusa type shit.

Well, Medusa is mythological. I think you know, mine were a lot more closely tied. to reality than yours well yeah those are your gods you're greek um you see what he does i feel like you see how he did that well so who are your gods Picasso you fucking italian bitch first of all that's not even a religion italian greek isn't a religion greek orthodox isn't that a religion orthodox is not a religion orthodox is the religion greek is the sect yeah but i don't think greek orthodox is like yo zeus aphrodite Yeah, I think so.

I don't think they are. When you guys go to church, it's like, yo, you know, Hercules and shit. I think the only difference is like they believe in Jesus, but like Jesus was eating Spanacopita instead of fucking, you know, bread. Honestly, one of the best contributions that the Greeks have made to society is Spanicovita. Spanacopita Thadthiki. Bro.

I don't know if I've ever told you this. Nicole thought that was. Spina capita I mean I mean she's she's white so I mean I guess the Greeks are white too

It sounds like Lois Like from family guy Spinaica Peter Yeah I mean that that's like such a like Spinecoa I could see that I think Becca recently also did the same thing Where she was just like

Spanacopita And I was just like I get what you're trying to do At that point At that point Just call it spinach pie Yeah right Like you don't like

If you can't say it with accent you know like growing me and frank grew up in a in a greek neighborhood and sometimes like it would be around i believe it's greek easter and all the sudden the neighborhood it felt like there was like a cult in town because they do like they do like a fucking the chair like holding the fucking like yeah and everyone's dressed in white and they have candles and i was like yo you have you seen the inside of a greek orthodox church i've peaked i don't know if i'm allowed do i mean you can walk in what are they going to say get out they're going to i mean the gods will I mean, the gods are like...

They smite, dude. Say sorry. Say sorry. Well, I don't know. But I've peaked in. St. Irene's, it looks nice. Greek Orthodox Church, they're into the pomp and circumstance. The flash, let me tell you.

They don't throw a bad fare either. That's a good fair. I mean, Italians throw a pretty good fare. The Italians throw a good fair, but a lot of rats. I mean, that's just the place. That has nothing to do with the fair. Well, I know, it's the food. For a split second, I thought you might have been talking about, like, the people.

Like the Italian people Like they're fucking wretch I'm not what I meant I meant actual animal rats Dude pull up a picture of the inside Of a Greek Orthodox church There's gold everywhere I've been to a Christian church

I've been to a Catholic church It's like you know It's fine A lot of wood A lot of wood Some stained glass Stang glass is cool Stanglass is really cool

But my guy You walk in and you see Which one are you feeling this one? I mean yeah throw it up babe Look at that shit Wow You're standing up there With the father's son

and the holy and the spirit. That's St. George and St. Demetrius, Greek Orthodox Church. You know what? That might be the ones that we went to. I mean, I've never... What the motherfuck is that? Look this thing. It's got a whole chandelier. Yo, the Greeks love their churches, dude.

Got three chandeliers. I've been in some churches and I'm like, holy shim. Yeah, man. They go and you walk in and they're, you know, it's sick. They're using an olive oil. Can I ask you a question?

Like, when you... So, if I'm near St. Patrick's Cathedral around Christmas like it's usually around Christmas time I'll go in and they have like a nativity set and whatever but in any regard I guess that doesn't matter why I'm bringing that up when you get close to a statue or not super close but you see a statue right does a part of you ever just stare at the statue and go oh yes and just go I know you could fucking move I forgot what movie it was but I remember staring in a statue and I got it from the movie and I was just like I wonder if they're just going to start crying blood

You know, just like, wonder if this, wonder if this, like, you know, statue of Mary. Part of me feels like if I stare at a statue long enough, like, it will give me a sign. Well, there's a, what's the name of the character? I think they're called like the Weeping Angels or something like that from Doctor Who. And their statues, they're like stone statues, but they only move if you like blink or look away. So, like, that's what I do. I'll just be like, this is like fucking five nights at Freddy's now. Sort of.

I mean, definitely, you're going to upset people comparing Doctor Who to Five Nights of Freddy's. No, that's not what I'm saying. He's trees, he's getting it. I'm like, if you look away, then they move. You know what I mean? I mean, I think they move when you look at them in Five Nights of Freddy's, too. When they get close enough and kill you, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, like, I do that. And specifically in St. Patrick's Cathedral, that's, like, I've been in churches, and I, you know, I'm, like, for some reason, St. Patrick's Cathedral is the most uncomfortable I've ever been because I know that, like, 20 feet below me, there's a Pope just lying there dead. Not a Pope. Popas. The Popas? There's a ton of Pope.

How did, what is multiple Pope? Is it Popes or is it Popeye? I think it's pipes. Pipes. I think it's pipes. There's multiple pipes. The floor is just fucking covered in pipes. And if you walk to the back of the church.

So if you ever, if anyone is visiting New York or you're from New York and you haven't been to St. Patrick's Cathedral, you walk in, you go to the left. and then the nativity set is like right on your left and you go wow oh it looks and then you walk past it and you get into the back behind the stage altar and there's there's a bunch of like tombs they're like yo down below catacombs bunch of pipes yo the pipes are laid out and like they'll tell you too they'll be like yo there's there's saint john paul there's wringo yeah like they like they name they'll tell you all the pipes that are down there yeah they're like this one's federico or like some Italian name.

Let me be very... John Paul, John Paul 2, John Paul 4, 5. There's like 15 John Paul. Every season of John Paul. It is very, like, jokes aside, it's breathtaking. It is. It's, the architecture is, like, the fact that you could see that, like, those were made by human hands. It's fucking crazy.

Crazy. When I went to France and I went to Notre Dame, I was like, bro, this is insane that people built this. Bro, even when we were in Ireland, there was like two or three churches that, I forgot who I was with, but we walked into. yeah and i was just like yo this is like a thing that people made by hand bananas it's crazy absolutely i remember thinking when i was when i was in france it was being like is it french pipes down here i mean below the surface i don't think we got some we got some bones have there been any french french french they're my french any fucking french house uh have there been any french popes i feel like they've all been

Italian. Oh, yeah. Oh, well, I guess priests. From the south side of Chicago. Yo, this guy's on to something crazy. I'm just telling you, he set a new standard with popes that are also like baseball fans and also like eat hot dogs. Is this possibly the first Pope that we've had that's ever had a hot dog? Nah. Can you get a hot dog in Italy? I'm sure it'll be like, this is an American restaurant. Yeah, what do you think the Pope does for like fun? Or is it always just the books? like is it always just the book or can you just go chill

stays prayed up yeah but like that's it like you wake up and pray and like real you ever like take a pottery class or some shit um you know that's a great question I am not super up to date with the daily activities of the pipes

dude or like do they go to restaurants like imagine you're sitting at a steakhouse and all of a fucking Pope walks in and it's like I imagine I imagine they wouldn't I mean if if we're being honest

from a security standpoint probably a bad idea to do that I mean just hire security I mean I think it's still like there's still a level of I would love to see the Pope pop out and like What you go to like four Charles and like you They'll be like oh Aaron Boone is here

Oh fucking you know like Steve Cohen and right in the back room The Pope is crushing a rabbi Dude that'd be so fire The idea of like oh Pope eating steak is funny It is what you just It is funny because they need to go about ordering it Like, how would you take that?

Rare. Yeah, like, what? And then, like, just the idea of them, I don't know, this is probably just me, but the idea of them eating food that isn't the little hosts is funny to me. Yeah, like the idea of the Pope eating French fries is like. The idea of the Pope having a hot dog is inherently hysterical. You think a Pope is just sitting back and drinking a bud lie? You know what I'm saying?

I'm just saying, like, I think now more to show them. and ever, we're finding the opportunity is like coming that the Pope is like watching a baseball game with a bud light and a hot dog and he's just like Jesus, we need to run here. You know, just like kicking his feet

up. Yeah, like just like you know, the Pope at one point in his life like Scott Pesednik got thrown out at home and he went, are you fucking kidding me at his TV? You know what I'm saying? And then when he dies, he'll be with the pipes. He's like, thank God for Germain die. you know yeah that's got i mean hey man they they haven't really been that successful since then so

i mean we can't say it's not because of the pope he must have loved angels in the outfield like i mean he must have been a co-write they must have been like you know how movies will like contact people in the industry as like a how authentic is this or something like that's an executive producer danny glover's talking to the pope and just like what do you think i should do for this movie yeah how do we how do we honestly you're pretty on point with the way it's going so far damn i think can we find any pictures of the Pope having like pizza or a cheeseburger

I found one Look up Pope's eating shit I found one Don't look that up Don't say shit I saw one of the day the Pope drank beer No Dude if you're about to pull up

A picture of the Pope With a pint I might convert What is the day Like it's only been one time That's what they called it Oh get the hell out of Oh but wait a sec

That was that was He's having it out of a fucking white Careful careful careful That was the Nazi careful he was tied to nazism who all right that pope he's just having a beer yeah yo you're gonna let a guy that old hold that big beer dude his arm's gonna fall off well he's got the power of the spirit with that is true yeah i mean it's not like the force uh i mean we don't know this picture i saw damn that's crazy that unless i'm mistaken

that's bened yeah pope benedict it says like he was one of the he i think he resigned because like they were like yo you're cool with the nazis or something Frank, I'm not saying that all the popes have not done anything wrong, but to say tied to the Nazis and then to add, or something, you should be sure about what you're saying. I'm a little fuzzy on the details. But, go to that picture of those two popes eaten. Up to the left. Up to the left. Right there.

Right there. What are they eaten over there? I mean, I think that's Pope Leo. Oh, that's Leo. That's Leo oh that's our current guy first of all he's got to be careful with the sleeves on the table there It's a big white sleeve. We got some ketchup around. You got to be careful pope. It looks like a beer Yeah I mean it's just funny to imagine. They're just people obviously

Is this it is a screwdriver? What is this? Imagine the popes be like let me get a vodka tonic Two limes please Bro, that's what I'm saying like the pulp's pull up to restaurants and I'm like yo hit us with the bottom It's kind of fire. Yo if there was ever like the Pope at like a bottomless brunch, I think I would lose my fucking mind. No, no, that's gotta be fake.

That just made me laugh. I will say, and I don't want to, I honestly don't want to offend people, but I hope people don't think that we're being offensive. One thing I also wanted to point out is that, do you remember when I brought up JJ Hirston, the gospel singer? And I was like, yo, this fire gospel.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, he posted a clip from the podcast and followed me. And I love that. That's awesome. I know. And like, I'll just think it's funny. He's got to tune in. And it's like, if he's hearing this now, it's like, am I saying something bad?

Well, listen, see if you can hit up J.J. Harrison. Just have him come in and just belt one out. I'm not even saying that, but like, get you, you know, on the track. You know, one. You know, back of your days. I'm not. I'm not saying you don't need to sing, but like you can have like a brief intermission. Like your days is like, you know, back in the day, I was confirmed by the God. Back in the, you know.

Oh, I'm going to drop a. I think you could write a quick 16. 16. You can write a quick 16. about your days in the church? My days in the church? Yeah, man, I've been confirmed. Were you confirmed?

I was. Yeah. You confirmed. There we go. Oh, thank you. It's a confirmed 10 ounce winner. What are you drinking, brother? You just got a red solo cup?

Amen, brother. It's a Diet Coke. Oh. What time is it, did? If, if you were. The answer's already yes. But go ahead. No, that's not the question I was going to ask.

If you were a pope. Yeah. and you were to go out, what would be your drink of choice? I know it's red wine. Give me something else. What feels like a holy spirit? That's a good joke. That's actually a good joke.

That's incredible. Shit, I don't know. Gin? I was going to say gin because of the floral botanicals and everything. What does that have to do with anything? It just feels more connected to nature. Yeah. Well, the wine that they had in church was white wine, actually.

In my church. What? Huh? Yeah. Scooby-Doo. Welcome to the show. Could be making this up. Isn't it white wine until a specific day and then it's red wine?

Because that's when Jesus. Oh, you're asking me? No, no. Oh, like they like, like, that's when he like, he like, was just like, yo, now it's my blood. Yeah. Oh. Well, no. No?

No. Made that up? Well, not in my church growing up. always white so you're you guys were just like throwing rosé in the cup and shit like dad be like yeah that would be fire i mean no it was like a shard i mean but i guess why why is it white yeah maybe it's just preference i mean but that doesn't make sense if you're it's always like it's the blood of my it's the blood of christ is like yeah but it's not it's not it's not like a metaphorical i know but if you're gonna present the blood of christ it should

it should look most closely resembling blood maybe our priest just fucking with the white. That could be taken out of content. We're going to go straight to the ad for that. Our first ad that we have today comes from, how you doing? Rocket money. Okay, Rocket Money is an all-on-one personal finance app

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right. Beautiful. And you know what? What a time. What a time of the year. Love, joy, time with your friends, loved ones, family. You know who else you might want to spend time with? Us. That's patreon.com slash the basement yard.

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you'll save yourself some money compared to signing up on the app what the fuck are we doing here what the fuck is happening why did you go with that I want to make sure I specify the gravity and the emotional weight we love you

we're so thankful patreon.com slash abaseman you got a new ring yeah Becca got that for me let me see he held it up like the green lantern you're big on rings

I'm feeling rings honestly you showed up with a double pink the other day i was like bro double pinked out yeah you were pinked i mean two pinks of all don't say that i don't like you were pinked yeah i don't like that i think that that sounds a little intense it does sound like porn kind listen i mean i think i saw i i've said this before my my entry into rings was seeing someone with pinky rings and rings eating a sandwich and i go that looks awesome the sandwich and they're eating it with rings because now When I eat sandwiches, I'm rock and roll for a sandwich. Why do you eat like that?

I mean, how do you eat a sandwich? I don't even know. All right, you got, I'm going to give you two types of sandwiches. Flat white bread sandwich. Flat white bread sandwich. Don't sit here, don't sit here and say, like, give me, like, a one with wheat. I can't even remember the last time I had white bread. Isn't that crazy?

Yeah. I can't remember the last time. So like, but like they make like sliced Italian bread or, or something like that. But like, I just hold it. You know what I'm like, like, it looks like this. You know, it's got, it's got, it's got hips. I'm going to save you time. I just hold it.

Okay. Now a sub. Really? I mean, how. This same method of like this. Yeah. Doesn't, why? Doesn't everything fall out of the butt?

No, baby. Yeah, you got to like close that fucking ass. First of all, I keep my butt pinched. I mean, it's clearly not. Clearly not. On my sandwiches, on my sandwiches, dude. Your butt holes wide open and ready for dinner. What, do you rather me eat it like this?

No, I mean, dude, that's crazy. I did that. How big is a sandwich in you? I mean, I've eaten some big sandwiches. But, like, the reason, I'll be honest with you, the reason I do that is because I have wet sandwiches. And if I do eat them like this, this area right here gets wet with, like, oil and vinegar and stuff like that. So if I open it up, you eat with, like, antennas. Damn right, I do.

I want the world to know this incredible sandwich I'm eating. I don't eat bad sandwiches. sandwiches. Let's make that very clear. I'm not saying that. I want to make sure you know and you know. No, I was concerned. But you're like, you're, do you have like a, like a thing with your hands, like your fingers and hands? I have openly spoken about. I hate my dainty fingers. No, no, I meant like a, if I can dress them up with rings. Oh, I am a very tactile person. Absolutely. Which is, but, but, but I feel like you're, I don't know, there's something with your fingers. You're throwing up gang signs now. Yeah, I'm going crazy. You got to be careful. You gotta be careful.

But you're like this, you know? Yeah. And then also we've talked about how you point as kind of like Voldemort where you're like, you do that. Well, I think a lot of it is my dainty fingers. So like, what I can do to combat the daintiness is add some weight rings, you know?

But they're dainty because of use. It's not because they're dainty. Use what? Like the way that you use them. I think the way, but like the, like, I can't point like this anymore if I got a ring on. Now I, now it's like this.

okay so you need you know and when i have my pinky rings on if you notice i do things more like this do you yeah oh god it's because it's sick it's because it's sick do you put your finger try this on try the ring on do you put your finger you put your fingers up i don't think so i'm gonna toss it that one maybe he goes i don't think so i'm gonna toss it yep got it we've established you have small fingies whoa dude yeah well 19 pound fingers Whoa, that's on your pinky Yeah, that's on my Oh

Bro, this fits easily on my thumb It's crazy You have small thingies This feels holy It feels like priesty It might be priesty I love it I love it so much

You pipe? You pipe? I'm not piping It fits on every finger Well, nope It only fits on this finger Oh like my thumb too It can fit on all your fingers Oh yeah

But like I could probably fit this around my leg Now talk about my dainty fingers Come on, dude You're not very dainty, I guess It's like, bro, this is a thick What's up? You got thick fingers

Hell yeah How'd you put the accent Hell yeah Ready Hit your other ring You like that, right? You're ranged I do feel like

I just, I like Powerful I feel powerful when I'm wearing And I really, really do It feels good Are you gonna get into rings No Oh, you wear a ring

I have an aura ring I've thought about Get one of those Just for general health helping Health helping And you would wear it Which one? I'd probably wear it here

I have no ring right now For my index I have rings For these two right here Right Thanks for showing us You could have just told us We know them

We have all fingers But okay So no rings for you Maybe You're not a ring guy I've experimented I got your ring You did get me a ring

I got your ring a pinky ring A pinky ring Still that bitch on there You know It was crazy I asked about your size And I was told that your ring Was like the size

Basically of a child's finger I mean I don't have huge Like they're not like big fingers I think my hands are normal But my fingers I like Kyle you have such big hands No my hands aren't like Big hands

But they're not like bitch hands Remember when like hands Had to do with dicks back in the day. Do I? I still think that. Do you? Yeah. Where it's like, you ever have someone, like when you were growing up and a girl's like, let me see your hand. Then I'm like, oh God.

That was, I learned from Becca that that was like a thing that girls did to flirt. The hands? Yeah. I mean, I assumed, any time that I was touching skin with a girl, I was like, oh my God, we were having sex. It was the closest thing at the time. Yeah, it was. You know? Sometimes it was better.

Because you didn't have anything to compare it to. Oh, when you had to. no clue when I had no sex when you hadn't drank from the you know from the the the the when I haven't had sex yet that's what I was going to say we were having a conversation in freshman year high school once and it just the topic of what like something like that like what gesture like equals the size of a penis or how big do you think it is and this girl went like this what aren't they normally here to here she thought elbow to wrist She thought elbowed a wrist was like, that's how you judge the size of a man.

I don't think that's all of our dicks together. Well, you know, forget about the hammer. We all looked at each other like, I mean, I don't even know how, I mean, I don't know what this per. I'm not going to speak about this person's sexual history. Well, they didn't know, like, they didn't know, like, yeah. Like, it was freshman year. Like, it was just an assumption. Like, that's what they thought.

But where do you even get that assumption from? I think there's a confusion. I mean, I thought it was like It was from it was like Here to here to here Yeah, it was like At one point they said it was like When you hold your hand normal

It's like pinky to thumb Yeah You know or or you know I don't know I don't know I remember being like middle school And someone said that And I'd be like really

Go home and like stretch my hand Really? You know I've never like You know It was such like there was There were all of them I mean foot size was another one

That was like you know That was a big one yeah but there were all these little like cool not cool i wouldn't call them cool yeah i wouldn't i not i re-canted everything was about like figuring out what your penis size was via weird ways can you do you know of any other ones i didn't keep tabs here here is such a crazy thing to even think i'll go on record that girl's an idiot that's fine imagine how old are you freshman year high school 14 14 years old bro what are we doing I mean, yeah, I don't think even, you know.

We were appalled a little. Now, it's Catholic school also. This is ridiculous. Yeah, I don't want to speak more about this because. Self-conscious also from that one. See, and when I was in sixth or seventh grade, I remember a girl being like, you're a virgin and, like, laughing on me. And I was like, oh, my God.

Like, am I a- You had to go out there. Am I a loser? You had to figure it out. And then looking back, I was like, the fuck, you fucking people in sixth grade? there were people that I knew that were actively having sex in sixth grade me too which is like in the stairway so fucking disgusting which is disgusting is such an intense I mean I didn't think you're gonna say that I

think you're gonna say like crazy or I mean yes crazy too yeah like I knew like just like looking back in like hindsight and just be like oh my god yeah like what the fuck was happening people were having sex in in the stairway in my middle school yeah dude it a thing in our middle school that was like people would hook up at like the back staircase i like made out with my girlfriend at the time once hell yeah yeah she made out very hell yeah hell yeah i remember back then also i was still so afraid of being good at making out and then me and her made out and she she like she was just in fast forward it felt like oh oh oh oh oh and i was like it shit fell back and i was like yeah have i been doing this thing

wrong the whole time what is that but like you know you're making out with someone and your mouth opens yeah but and hers was just opening and closing very quickly at a speed that I wasn't prepared for so I was kind of like a step behind so I was like I probably fucked that up oh yeah I can see that I remember when when I was in middle school because that was like the stressor back then it was just like are you a good kisser yeah you know and if I'm not everyone's gonna know everyone's gonna know no one's gonna kiss you because of it right ever again ever I will die alone after if you're a bad kisser at that age, it's going to follow you until you're like a member of the workforce. Yeah. You know, on your resume, it would be like, wow, graduated magna cum laude

and, oh boy, heard you were a bad kisser. Yeah. You know, you were a fucking dweeb. But I remember I had like a seventh grade girlfriend and there was like pressure. It was also like you got a girlfriend and then you had to like kiss and then you had to like kiss in front of your boys and you're like their friends. And I remember I went for like a kiss once and I went for a tap kiss. Oh no. She went for a makeout kiss. Yeah. Or vice versa. Whatever it was. I went for makeout. She went for tap. And it was just like a... It was a consuming. It was an all-consuming. And it was like, you'd never come back from that. It looked like a cobra eating a mice. A mouse is what I wanted to say. It was just like, yeah, it was like exactly that. It was like, you know,

the way that like Anacondas consume eggs. Bro, do you remember when you were younger? And like, the same thing. Like, you had a girlfriend and then it was such a big deal. And everyone knew that like oh they're gonna kiss and like no one kissed back then so it was a big deal if there was a couple and it's like oh my god it was almost like a fight it was like yo they're gonna meet up after school and they're gonna kiss each other and i feel like you would kiss and everyone would go oh well i remember at the time like kissing my like going like down the block kissing my then girlfriend and walking back and everyone's at the corner like did it didn't happen like like celebrating it and it was just like uh you know it's like yeah so what you know we're boyfriend and

girlfriend now like that's what they that's what boyfriend and girlfriends do yeah you guys will learn one day yeah just like an insane just an insane time to live in such a funny time to look back on yeah and it's even weirder now that i have children oh well yeah they're gonna have to go through that yeah and it's like weird yeah you know very very weird kissing is so strange isn't it weird that we kiss each other on the lips and the mouth? I get like... Other places. What are you doing?

What's it getting close to the holidays? I feel like you're just like horny. What's in that cup? You sure it's just Diet Coke or is it Diet Coke and a horny goat weed? I thought you were going there. I just tried to jump in front of it. No, I was going very normal. Like kissing on, like, just from a,

just think about kissing on the lips. Like, does any other animal do that? They kiss each other on the mouth? That's a great question. Like, why are we kissing each other on the mouth? I don't know. I don't know. That's a really, really good question. It's show, like, affection. Because that's what we do it.

It's the show affection. And I like it. I like kissing on the mouth. But, like, how? Do you think more people kiss on the lips or on the cheek? Cheek. What do you mean? You think cheek? Of course.

When's the last time you kiss someone on the cheek? All the time. When's the last time you kiss someone on the lips? All the time, too. But less people. I'm not saying... There's one. I'm not saying, but I'm saying in my lifetime, how many people have kissed on the lips and cheek are like, it's astronomically.

I'm not saying like the quantity of people. I'm saying the amount of individual kisses. Oh, ooh. It's like wheels or doors. Wheels or doors. Are there more mouth kisses or are there more cheek kisses? In an average lifetime? In an average lifetime.

Oh, definitely lip. That's a, but that's a, that's a, I don't know. No. But what about? what about like newborns you kiss them on the cheeks we're talking about quantity of kisses right it could also be cheeks slash foreheads because that's a big one too we're talking about quantity of kisses yeah the number of times you either kiss a lip or kiss a cheek lip or elsewhere on the head because people do like top of the head forehead cheeks i think it's

lip in the in the span of a lifetime i think a person kisses someone on the lips more than they kiss any other the average person though yeah because like if you are in a relationship that's a lot a lip sure that's a lot of lip but you think about all the cheek kisses you had before that relationship yeah I and then like within that relationship you make up ground though within that relationship there are cheek kisses too that's true oh man that's what I'm saying like in a lifetime though like if you get to live 75 80 years it's a lot of lip it's also a lot of cheek because then you have kids you kiss them on the cheek you have grandkids not if you're tom brady we'll take Tom Brady out of this one. He's an outlier in this situation. He's a he's a everyone he knows

has kissed him on the lip. You think it's cheek? I don't know. It probably lips, but Tom Brady's definitely on the lip side. He's, you can't not count. I mean, he's probably never kissed someone on the cheek before. He's the goad of lip kissing. Yeah. He's the go to a couple things. Yeah. Yeah. You know, um, I'm going to go lip though. I, I'm more like, when you're in a young relationship, how many times you kiss? Because when you're younger and you have a girlfriend, it's like, we're just going to kiss 24. Yeah, but when you're, let's say, all right, let's say you're 15 and you have a partner yeah you're going to kiss but the ability to sometimes the kiss is not always readily available but how many times do you see your family there are friends that people

kiss their friends on the cheek you know and this and this and i'm not just talking on the cheek i'm talking yeah yeah you know kiss your mom on the cheek of course like when you see your mom absolutely yeah i don't know if i do that my brothers i kiss my mom goodbye but i'm more to hugging. I mean, it's a, it works in tandem, brother. It's a, not always. Double, double. You know what it is? My mom's like, oh, you double it up. You're a very Italian family. You're, your double arm kiss. Oh, Italy, those are cheek people. They're kissing. I'm not, I'm saying the average person, whether they're Italian or they're anything else. I don't know. If we're throwing the Italians in there, that, that really bumps up the cheek because they love the ma, ma, my, that's

two. And they do it everywhere. Yeah. Damn. That's tough. I don't know. We're included. Italians. I think this is a very good argument. This is a good argument. This is a good debate. I like it a lot. Now, if you're horny like aunt, yeah. Are they kissing above the chin or below the chin more? Let's not get right. Let's get this guy. There's a lonely male epidemic, Frank. No one's kissing below the belt anymore. It actually says here that chimpanzees, bonobos, wolves, polar bears, obatroses, I didn't know that was plural, and even insects kiss on the lips. That's so cute. You're telling me that. that praying mantis smooch? I don't know which ones but dude if I saw a praying

mantis go up to its partner and just be like oh I would be so pumped yeah that'd be crazy wait which also wolves I've never seen a wolf kiss and they don't they don't have like lips they have mouths they have like so what are they doing they're just going up there's like they got to like side kiss I imagine or like they smush noses that's cute smush noses and they give one of these you know like beak touching I mean I mean, we're one of the few animals on the planet that have like usable lips

Dude, if a parrot landed on me and went That's, I'm counting that as a cat. That's what they would do, they'd go What? You ever think about if you had a parrot, what would it say? Like, what do you say a lot of that it would say? I basically have one with my daughter, Maeve, and we have seen some of the stuff that she has said.

Fuck, apparently is what you're saying. You are my fucking daddy. That's great. I'm trying to tone it back now because it's getting bad. Yeah. Yeah, I'm still going live, I think. Dude, Ruby the other day. Like, she goes, Daddy, you are dramatic.

And Becca started dying laughing. I was like, where do you get that from? But I think... What do you think you're going to be? I would... That's so tough because I... kiss becca a lot yeah and a lot of it is on the lips are we so the way you said that but it was like you were talking to your boys when you're like well like I kiss her a lot and a lot of it is on

the lips but like oh I've been like before Becca like I'm a very affectionate I come from a very affectionate family I am a very affectionate person like most of my friends that I see get a kiss on the cheek you know I've never seen you kiss the boys well when you put it like that I'm not hey look at this yeah but when we see each other you don't kiss me

no but I have I mean it doesn't stand out we dab and like hug he says your kisses aren't memorable crazy that is bananas that is bananas he's trying to kiss bait me you're like your kisses don't even mean much to me yeah they don't even I don't even feel

I don't remember the last time you kiss me he's trying to kiss bait He's trying to kiss bait me. You see that? No. You're fucking horny over there. I don't even know if you're a good kisser, you know? That's what he's saying.

I can't even remember the last time you kissed me. Yeah. People say you're not a great kisser. Do you kiss your mom on the cheek? Hello? Yeah. I don't even know if I do. I kiss my, my, you know how my dad is.

My dad's still throwing out heavy cheek kisses. Your dad would use tongue if you let him. All right. Let's take it back. I think I don't because my mom is like, like very short so she's like here yeah but do you kiss her on the like on the mat on the head i almost said mouth on the head uh yeah sometimes like i don't i don't really i don't know if i like i definitely don't kiss like my brother's hello i just know Keith would literally i would

literally i would end up in a tornado like the tasmanian devil if i did that yeah you would i don't think i kiss shannon hello like we hug we're huggers okay that's fine why don't that sound like a slur. We're huggers. We're huggers. That dirty, that dirty hugging family. He's a hugger?

Like, instead of a kisser. Kisser sounds way nicer than hugger. Yeah. You're a hugger. It's like, whoa, dude. I think, uh, I think there, I'm not saying that I am, like, it's cheek or, or mouth for me, but it is a really good argument to have that, like, you also got to think of the average family.

like not everyone is as affectionate as my family not everyone is as affectionate of your family like yeah so like there are people also as you were as you always tell aunt and i we're in the middle of a male loneliness epidemic so like you think of all those people that have never kissed someone yeah they're not kissing on anything you want to hear something weird i have heard through vines of the grape or grape grape uh that some people who are in long relationships when they have sex they don't kiss that's so weird yeah that's weird yeah that doesn't feel right those got to be cheap people that's weird and also are we counting when you do that thing when you see your aunt and you guys your

cheeks touch I just said that yeah I just said that that's a cheek kiss yeah you count that you count that are you I just sound you're not kissing I mean that's as close the sentiment is as close to kissing on the cheek I'm you thought I was just saying like you know on the person's I mean if I'm kissing no this is I'm counting this as it as a cheek kiss cheek to cheek cheek cheek to cheek you got to count that yeah I wish I could don't you wish you could just dapp people up there's some people that like I wish I could just dab up my like aunts and uncles I like hugging because I'll never know if I'll hug that person again

that's so morbid I guess it's oh my god it's Like, it's nice and sweet, but it's also like... I mean, I'm not saying they're going to die, but, like, I just may never see them again. Yeah. Why? Like, people go their own route in life and they move away, or they have, like, you just don't get to see people for years or... Yeah. I mean, I just, you know, I'm not big on the...

I'm down to do it to a small group. Once we start, you know, if I'm walking into Christmas Day, and there's fucking 30 people there, I'm like, here we go. Oh, I say hi to every single person. Of course. I have to, too. But, like, I got a hug and kiss everyone. This is crazy now. I wish I could just be like, yo. To like my aunt and shit, just dapper up.

Really? Yeah. Make it quick. I like, I like it. A nice embrace. I'm more of, as much as I like to Irish goodbye, I feel like I'm... Actually, no, that's not true. I guess it's different.

With friends, I don't care if we say hi to each other, really. No, I'm sorry. I care if we say hi to each other. I do not care if you say bye like you can leave I don't it doesn't matter but I would like you to acknowledge when we see each other

but just go do your thing but with family it's more of like a high oh no it's it's less about a high and more about a buy you know who has the same reason you know who has that same mentality the undertaker

I'm dead serious I saw an interview I think I think it was Bill Simmons and John Sina no I think it was Bill Simmons and John Sina or John Sina and someone I don't remember exactly who was but he's like was talking about he was like the for i never drank alcohol the first drink i

ever had was with the undertaker that's a good first that's a great first drink mine was with a was in a was a hynican in a backyard and it sucked mine was like are we talking like accidental took a sip you didn't know what it was or like i'm gonna have an alcoholic drink i think i think you're purposeful i think it was with my sister maybe not maybe earlier maybe slammer i mean it is All right. It might have been with you. I don't remember. Nonetheless, he was like, the Undertaker gave me words of advice,

and it was like, never say goodbye. And he's like, that stuck with me. Like, big Irish goodbye guy, just never say goodbye to someone. Why? I don't know. I'm trying to find the profoundness in that. I'm not The Undertaker. Yeah.

A lot of people say, like, don't say goodbye. Say, like, see you later, because goodbye is final. talk about morbid i'm uh you know fucking that's a that's a technical frank thing like well technically well that's what i technically i will see you later in life yeah that's what i mean that's pretty dramatic to me yeah i mean ruby gets it but yeah i i mean i'm more of like you know i'll say bye to like my aunts and uncles when we're leaving and stuff i don't really care about saying hi like because i don't like the the formality of it like when i when i get there it's like now i got do the circuit like i can i'll talk to everyone at a certain point like if we lock eyes like oh hey and i'll

come over and you know but the the circuit i love i i like the circuit when it's i mean depending on who it is if it's close friends and family i'll do the circuit but if i'm somewhere where i'm not crazy about some of the people there i'll i'll sit back a little bit you know oh we have ads we let's get do it folks uh we do have some sponsors uh some more sponsors our last two here we have hymns okay hymns uh listen hair loss it's not just about hair it's about how you feel when you look in the mirror hymns helps you take back the confidence with access to simple personalized care that fits your life okay there are a lot of people that deal with hair loss and this is going to help them because they offer uh hymns offers convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss

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there's some uh select city merch uh you know t-shirts signed hosters go take a gander look at it if you weren't able to get something when you came to the shows or if you want to get something and feel like you were a part of the shows go check it out at tb y tormerch.com thank you guys for everyone that got tour merch but we wanted to give you one last opportunity and let me tell you once it's gone it's gone baby okay just like aunt's kissing virginity once it's out the window it's fucking god so go check it out tb y tormerch.com Okay. Well, where'd you go?

I know, I got to clear my throat. Uh-huh, uh-huh. God damn. Yeah. You know. Right. Is that one of the most famous, like, I feel like that song is up there with, like,

Ave Maria as one of the most famous songs ever made. Avey Maria. You know what I'm saying? Like, Ave Maria. Well, I just asked, I think I asked you guys this, too, but I asked Twitter. And I was like, what do you think is the best, song of all time. And for me, bro, I think it's landslide.

I mean, that's up there, absolutely. That song, that song, it gets, I mean, it's so good. Do you want me to just talk, like, a human being here, or you want me to be technical about it? Like, how are we describing what the best song is? In your opinion. Personally, I would go either Bohemian Rhapsody. You know, I'm a little, you know I'm a bitch for that song.

Lanslides up there. I also love sympathy for the devil from the Rolling Stones Oh That's a great song I'll see what other people said I mean there's

You can make an argument For any song That's like a classic You know I like listen to landslide The other day And I was like Dude this song is so good

Dude the song And specifically The version from Shrek Of Hallelujah Is such a fucking panger Dude Someone said unwritten That is like

Probably the most recent song that I think is like I think but someone is saying that just because they're they want to keep in line with the basement yard stuff like we could sit here and say like since you've been gone no no I think the world loves unwritten I think the world loves unwritten too I don't know if I'd put it in top 10 songs of all time we also got to take songs that are like old ones you know like I'm sure there's someone that's going to argue like a sea jaunty what is it like a sea shanty yeah shanty shanty what are they called again guys I'm me out you see shanty there it is yeah they'll be like oh really the greatest song ever is you

know there once was a ship that put to see the one was a billion a couple of people said iris by the google dolls it's a good song too how does that one go again oh you know what song i really like never gonna answer me okay wait what i said how did that song go again and then he just went and i don't want the world to see me all right that's good um you know what song that i really like champagne supernova by Oasis. That's a great song. You know which song is so intensely slept on drops of Jupiter

by train? That is such a good answer too. That song's phenomenal. Like and not even just like the words because I don't know what they mean, but also like just the... Yeah, it's like a space. Like the way he sings it like a, uh, you know, like in Jupiter in a, yeah, yeah. That's a great song.

That's a good point. Oh, yo, you know what? Low key. I mean, I don't know how low key it is but um god bless a broken road by the rascal flats what a great song is that life as a highway same band different song okay what about the the gambler

oh oh you know i i think i know shut up shut up shut up hold on hold on i got it i got it um no one's talking you got a you got a know when to hold them no way to fold them Know when to walk away Know when to run It's mad good You gotta count your money

And you're sitting at the table All right Oh you know what I did When I thought of this And I tweeted that with landslide I was like you know what I'm gonna watch this And I watched the landslide scene

From Jack Ross Don't do that I mean I did But don't do that though Yeah I mean stairway to heaven Led Zepplin has some Absolute bangarrangs on there

Someone said Layla Layla I mean That's a great song Layla's a great song but I kind of like The like The piano part The piano part of it more than I do the actual song But like that's

My dad used to play that all the time Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing They're saying imagine John Lennon But those are people No It's a good song But those are people that are just like

They're like You better say it's imagined by John Lennon If not you're a piece of shit I think it's just like an overrated song. Like I think that it's a great song and I understand that it probably at that time it was like way more impactful for that time than it was for me. I listen to that song and I'm like, this is a good song. It's not the best song ever. I mean, it is also like it is now being tied to one of the most like secondhand embarrassing moments of the last like decade where those celebrities saying that during the pandemic as they're sitting in their multi-million dollar mansions and they just open up with.

Hey, imagine there's no heaven. Coming from Gal Gadut, of all people, Gal Gaddo. You know, it's just going to California by Led Zeppelin is one that not a lot of people know of. Wish you were here by Pink Floyd. Someone said, truly madly deeply. Remember that song? No, what's that one? I don't know.

If you don't know it by name, I don't really know how to sing. Oh, it's a, it's a, I want to stand with you on the mouth. dude. I want to them with you in the sea. And I want a lead like this forever

until the sky falls down on me. I see respect here, my Aretha Franklin. R.E.P. Speets T. It's a hard song to do for karaoke if you're hammered, dude.

I mean, we know one person. Ange is like... Oh my gosh. R. Speed S. T. M.C. Yo, this girl, I don't want to like, it was like the first time we were hanging out with our friend's, uh, girlfriend at the time, this is his wife now, but, um, and she got drunk and we were doing like karaoke and she was like, give me the fucking money. And she does, she does respect, but she was hammered. I was like, I fucking love this girl. Yeah, she crushed that so, so nice.

R.P. Jesse. He's, he me. Uh, hell yeah. That's so good. I'm in a remind you of a song you probably haven't thought about in 20 years, but you know what song is still a banger. remember the song S-E-X by Life Jennings Nothing you just said Makes sense S-E-X Take a deep breath

Daddy gonna go crazy Life Jennings You've never You don't remember that song That's a really, really good song Someone said Hotel California That's a great song

Banger Whatever it takes Whatever it takes Whatever it takes I'll do whatever It takes I don't think you take a song It's around

No I think that's what it is So it's a fast car It's also Fast car I mean Fast car is a well-known one I'm just thinking

that you're talking about a car I know it's not But like You got a fast car And it's like okay And I know there's more meaning behind it Never been my favorite song

Someone said Mr. Brightside I'm gonna block her Yeah And there are certain songs That I think People confuse popularity With being a great song Seems from an Italian

restaurant A bottle of red. Look, don't get me started on that song. A bottle of white. I have been obsessed with that song lately. It's a good song. Things are okay with me these days. Got a new job.

Got a new life. I got a new wife and the family is fine. Oh. Lost touch long ago. You lost weight? I did not know. God damn it. It's so good.

Look, you see this? This is that. We hit it. Hope. Hopelessly devoted to you? But now, there's nowhere to hide. Would you push my love aside? I don't know.

I can't. I'm still a little horsey raspy. Hopelessly devoted is so fucking crazy. Defying gravity is up there as a knocker of a song. I said this the other day, too. I think the melody, there's melodies in landslide that I'm like, There's no way someone can hear that and not like it. There has to be something scientific about that melody that is so good.

And I feel the same way about a certain melody in For Good. Yeah, I haven't heard it yet, but... You've never heard For Good? I haven't seen the second part. You've never heard The Song? No. You've never heard Four Good? No.

Are you insane? You've really never heard that song before? Yeah, no, I haven't yet. Oh, it's beautiful, dude. Sure. I'm sure it is. Oh, my God. You've got to hear it.

Oh, come on. I'm sure it is. People argue that's better than defying gravity. Really? Yeah. Okay, we'll see. I mean, we could go on and on and on. I mean, my music taste is going to bring out, you know, like, Hey Jude is one of the greatest songs of all time.

Frank, I saw a video recently, and I was like, this could be, this is like the greatest maybe moment ever. But it was, that's dramatic. But, like, Paul McCartney was doing a concert, and he's doing Hey Jude. and he's playing the piano, and it's just a sea of people. And he just goes, nah, and then he stands up, and the crowd is na-na-na-na-na. And na-na-na-na-ha? Yeah. So loud.

There's nothing better than that. That's got to be bananas, that feeling. I mean, there's also got to be something crazy. I mean, Paul McCartney obviously is a music legend and, like, has a ton of songs. But, like, the idea of creating something, and then, it lasts that long and it's like still selling out stadiums

60 years after it came out is bananas and then he'll throw in like one of his modern songs people like yeah yeah yeah get to hey Jude you know like yeah that's just nuts I wonder what does that like what's the reason my songs like staying power it's so hard to

appeal to a completely different generation and you've done it not even the one but you, but like, continuously. I think that they're, like, at least I could, like, there are certain sounds and music genres that are so specifically tied to when they came out that they don't have the legs to last forever. I mean, like, a lot of people talk about like hair metal of like the 80s like that, you

know, like White Snake and Guns and Roses, like, they've made songs at last, but a lot of their stuff is like, it stays right where it is. And you see that now a lot with like modern hip hop, people feel that way. You know, even hip hop from when we were kids, you know, like the sound of like, you know like disturbing the piece like that Atlanta sound or even like out west like the hyphy sound like people feel like it's so representative of that time that it doesn't have legs you know I mean yo like have you ever heard like OG rap it's all about this saying a do do do do la no no and like it's like slick rick and shit yeah like it's so like it's tied to

a time so it's not going to last forever but like the stuff that is just like you could play this anytime and it still works yeah you know hey jude's like that i think a lot of like classic rock is like that like it just it wrote like the standard for that genre i mean i don't know i think a lot of classic rock is like not going to make it to jenzy i mean i think it's already made it 50 years if you can last 50 years oh i mean what's the oldest song it's got to be like a gregorian chant it's the like the tiptoe through the windows like that era oh some shit like that yeah there i mean there's hymns that that come before that no i meant like a like the oldest like popular song that we all like oh that's i mean

ask fucking you know a brittle boy over here gregorian chance is hilarious there's songs from like i used to have an electric piano that one of the settings on it was gregorian and you could just play and it would sound like yeah it was very weird i mean i i i remember I would listen to the Pandora station like Queen Radio and they would mix in like Glenn Miller band like I don't even who's Glenn Miller band

I know Steve Miller band Glenn Miller band is like an older like you know like the they did music during like World War II where it was like dun dun dun dun dun da da bum boom boom but like they had music at that time

you know and that's probably like the 30s or 40s do you know what the number one song of all time is like the number one like on metrics it's the best selling single ever do you know what that is? Would we know? I think so.

Give us an era or give me a genre Christmas songs oh then it's got to be jangle bells or white Christmas there's like tense Christmas it's white Christmas Bing Crosby it's number one

what? Best selling single ever dreaming I mean That's kind of wild Staying power That's wild What does it have like The numbers

Is the best selling Single ever 50 million copies It might be a different It might be a different Like you had to sell 50 million Yeah yeah yeah

But like also Streaming now Making one song And it does 50 Yeah dude I mean I mean Bing

Big bang Boom There are other songs that like like do you know what the greatest this is what i meant to say do you know what like i i'm pretty sure that you know the best selling album of all time yeah eagle's greatest hits yeah that's so like crazy eagles are great but that's very random it to me it is too because it's like the eagles of course they're a big band but they don't feel like the biggest band in the world they're bigger than fucking the beatles well i think the second one was for a while it was michael

jackson i think it was thriller you're they're bigger than michael jackson I think Michael Jackson re-took the top. Okay. So, but it's those two. I'm seeing it. Yeah, the Eagles greatest hits was like the top selling album. Which is such a strange, like, again, I love the Eagles. Great album.

I mean, it's just, like, that's a cop out, like. It's a greatest hits album. Like, a straight, like, hits album was thriller because every song in there became a hit. But, yeah, weird, weird, weird. Bro, I came in that, like, even 50 Cent, like, coming out with Get Richard Die Trying, and then, bro, you're selling, like, literally an overnight success. Yeah. Like, you literally come out, put one album out, and it's like, you're rich forever, basically.

But then he's, but then he also put out, you know, St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Or what was it called, The Massacre? The Massacre. I think it came out around Valentine's Day. Beg for Mercy, too. Beg for Mercy, which you know how I feel about that album. Is you an album? Bro.

That was, that was Beck for Mercy. That was so good. You know how I feel about that album. Top to bottom all hits. Was it you who had the poster? I don't think I had the poster But I did have a printout of the lyrics To every single song

Yeah that was my favorite part about getting physical When you'd open it and it had the lyrics And it had the lyrics And I was like oh I can Now I know the words There are some I have some old vinals that have that too It'll be like you know Steve Miller band

Yeah And it'll be like the Joker You know Yeah Jet Airliner That is one of my Like that's up there for me Jet Airlineers a good one I love that song

It's so nostalgic for me It reminds me like of being like fucking I think there's another one on there called Oh well take the money and run Swing Town Swing Town's a banger too Yeah

That whole album is fucking crazy Yeah Swimming pools by Kendrick Lamar Reminds me of Minecraft Of what? Minecraft Why? I used to just listen to that song

on Replete while playing Minecraft So now every time I hear it I think about Minecraft And then you gotta go yearn for the minds What's song reminds you of like your parents I have one for each of them obviously. Landslide is my mom. Oh. That's the easy one. Why? That's like my mom's song. She loves that song. Oh, my God. There's also another one if we're going to just go away from

landslide called Vahiva la. Is that? Oh, I'm thinking of the Jewish. No, no, no, you're thinking of Hawla. It's like a, it's, I'm pretty sure it's Loggins and Messina. What is it, Nehiva Hala? Vahiva La. That was not. Bahiaela. Oh, boy, Thela. Mahiwana. It's really, it's really. good and then my dad it's uh it's a spanish song uh from the gypsy kings okay you know you know what song reminds me of your dad i'm dead serious oh boy party like a rock star because he probably like pulled up in his car blasting it no i i have a very like vivid memory of uh him picking me up at my house in a giant car yeah yeah and uh we drove

to pick you up because you were somewhere. I don't even know where. And then we went to McDonald's and then we went to Connecticut for the first time. And you were blasting party like a rock star. So it reminds me of your dad because he was like, I have a bunch of songs. You're trying to hold your hand and shit. I got the whole dad experience right there. Hotel California reminds me of your dad. That's a good one. I would say landslide. That's my dad's favorite song. Lanslide also reminds me of your mom. But then like my dad, there's like random ones that like my dad is like obsessed with. You know, like my dad, my dad once i remember it was like christmas eve and we were driving and this was like later in life it was

2009 and the song we are young by fun came on your dad loved it and i remember looking over at my dad and like my sister and brothers were in the back i was in the front seat favorite child and uh i look over at my dad and we were like singing the song and i look over and he's hysterically crying so like to this day that kind of ties it tonight we are young and he's like but like my dad like There's like two songs that my dad loves One's from the Gypsy Kings and one's from Jorge Celadon. Okay.

Caminando for La Calle from the Gypsy Kings. Okay. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. It's actually a banger. And then, uh, Estabita by Jorge Celadone.

It's just like, like, how beautiful is this life? Yeah. You know, that's it. What about you? I was thinking about it while you guys were talking. I think for my mom, it might be carry on my wayward son.

Banger. Kansas? Yeah, it might be Kansas. Bang. I could see your mom tearing the dance floor up to that. And then my dad, it's like anything by Pitbull probably. That sucks. Pitbull reminds you of your dad? Yeah, probably Pitbull.

Listen, your dad, I've met him, he's a nice guy. I just want to say this. That sucks. Yeah, yeah, no, it's not great. It's not great. Anything by Pitbull. Anything. Anything by Pitbull, by the way.

Just hearing pitbull. Just like the idea that your dad gets in the car, puts the music on, and it's, Mr. 305 and he's just like on a leisurely drive to work to fucking Pitbull screaming at you Yeah Derevento Who are? Isn't that Pipple?

I don't even know what you're saying. Oh, whatever. Mr. Worldwide, you know? Yeah. That is Mr. Worldwide for Mr. Yellow. Is your dad worldwide? I don't think so. I wouldn't say that.

No, I wouldn't say he's worldwide. all that he's pretty just all right interesting very interesting my dad's not worldwide either that's it happens yeah do you have any songs that remind you your siblings any songs that remind me of my siblings my brother

while you're thinking my brothers is ambition by wallet god that reminds me of him too they were so obsessed with that song they loved wallet they were like obsessed like it was like borderline weird and then my sister

that's a tough one like anything from like Greece because we love that stuff growing up she loved Usher yeah I mean your family reminds me of that incest song

well it's not stop that Joey the song isn't about incest you guys make it about no no no it is about having sex in a car but yes when you like the song and your siblings and parents like it it is then weird

Well, when you're on opposite sides of the room and yelling it at each other. To be fair, I'm not yelling it at my sister when I'm singing that song. I'm yelling it at the other people that are not related to me by blood. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think there's songs. All like those like Taking Back Sunday and Dashboard Confessionals, it reminds me of like Shannon and Thomas. Yeah, like check yes, Juliet. Well, that was like later, but it was a little older they remind me of.

Yeah. Is it banana pancakes? Jack Johnson. Oh, that reminds me of my brother Thomas. He was really into that. The remedy and you're going to love me by the backwoods is Keith. Oh, wow. Those are good choices. Keith loves those. I know those are big songs in the San Marriottos. Semi-charm. Semy-charmed life. Keith knows every single word. So that may be for him. But, yeah, it's funny.

I love music. I got songs that remind me of everyone. Like, everyone has a song. You know? What's an song? Yeah. Give me some time. I'll come up with a good one. It's definitely like a flowrider song or something. Oh, well, yeah, it would probably be something like that. Or it would be like, you know, like around the world by fucking, because you love that song by Death Punk. I'd rather that.

I mean, that's not as, that's not great. Is that around the world? But Flowrida's not great either. We'll spend some more time together. Probably pit bull. I mean, now you're a pit bull for me. I can see you being a Margaritaville guy. Oh, my God.

You're a buffeter. Yeah, you're a. Okay. That sounded like a slur. I can see you just being like a simonong, huh. you know like watching the sunbreak if you like peanut cloud house oh that's a good that's a great song actually i have been on a yacht rock kick thank you zach i appreciate that yeah there's some there's some you know banger on baby come back oh oh that's a good one only a fool believes

by the duby brothers what's that other duby brother's song that's so good it's like their song what is that song down there or is that or is that What song is that? I mean, you're just going to have to look up. Doobie Brothers songs. Oh, he's doing that. What about Beach Boys? Too old.

Listen to the music. Listen to the music. And China Grove. Whoa. Yo, they still like sell shit. Good for that. They can push tickets, huh? Nine million monthly listeners.

Good for them. I'm one of them. Let me tell you. I'm throwing that bitch on. Yeah. You know. Cocoa Mo? No?

Cocoa. That's too, like the Beach Boys were. two, like, that's two back there. Bro, wouldn't it be nice? Yeah. That's a good song. That's like my age group, you know? Apparently, that's your Spotify age group, yeah.

That song is so fucking good. Yeah, I can't remember any other ones on my... All right, well, we could do this all day, but we're not going to do it all day. But thank you guys so much for, you know, sticking around for the entire episode. We appreciate it. Frank, where can they find you? F Alvarez, 8085 on Twitter doesn't want to let me change it

to Frank Alvers everywhere else T-BYTorMurch.com If you want to get your hands on some tour merch while it's still available, go go take a gander and then patreon.com slash the basement yard. And? Good. And Prisco on Instagram?