The Basement Yard - Don't Have Sex In Your Car

Episode Date: November 1, 2016

On this episode, @AntVino comes on to talk with me about Halloween and other things. That's all I got. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome back to the basement yard is October 31st Monday I have a brand new guest here by the name of Anthony DeVino yeah yeah and he's back he's here he's back yeah yeah do it fuck it's been a while it's been four weeks I think I think a month that's four weeks good for you it is Halloween I love those days so I am eating Skittles mm-hmm that's your favorite holiday I hate every other how no I don't stop when it comes to holidays it's Halloween Thanksgiving Christmas the rest of the year could go fuck itself wait in that order exact order Christmas is third yep who hurt you all right second Halloween I don't

even like Halloween why do you like Halloween your microphones orange how do you not like Halloween first of all it's red it's just that it's been the lights along that it is like faded and it's now looks a little orange but it was red bullshit and that's the other answer my question Halloween is the best holiday ever I'm gonna tell you why because a the nightmare before Christmas B the leaves change color see see I'm a fucking fiend for horror movies you see me you seem to go to every watch so whatever the fuck you want no stop stop first of all Christmas movies are way better than horror movies I'm not done counting

good I'm done all right anyway we went to Highline ballroom this Saturday so two days ago and it was a little bit of a disaster did you like it I don't know if I'll ever go there again honestly I'm gonna be honest with you I went there once before and it was a small crowd right there I like 1 30 at that time it was me Dom Eric Marco Ralph Dylan right solid and you know I had the time in my life I don't know man I was just dancing there was a lot more room than there was fucking yeah there was no room in this place we were packed staying on the couch the whole time I think the kids across want to fight us fucking guys no

I don't I don't know I just I just hate going to clubs because you stand outside and they're like yeah are you on the list of who checked the list check the ideas check it twice the girls are free the guys have got to pay a thousand dollars there's so many rules I am I'm over it yeah so am I like bars dude we should have just bar hop to the bundles I mean we did that too that's a nice place see clubs in Vegas that's a different story beautiful right that's a different story but that's it clubs in New York I'm over it I'm over it I'm over all that nonsense what were you for Halloween I was Indiana Jones I know

that I'm asking you so that the people can know but he was Indiana Jones I killed it he had a whip I did I didn't bring that in the club you noticed that the club didn't search us when we walked in why would they because it's New York why wouldn't they that's actually very true exactly they might have not checked anyone someone could have just sprayed around in there it's gang initiation night that's true tonight is that whatever hide your mothers somebody which is real I remember one year they were beating up moms or some shit welcome to New York right so if you wanted to be in a gang you have you have to like on

Halloween night I mean at least around here like you have to do something I remember one year it was like killing a dog or something I'm not killing it well like stay I know it was like stabbing moms was one of them I remember that for one year and then there was something with dogs either stealing them or kicking them or something I want to know how do people figure it out what it is like is there like a word do they tell the news before Halloween hey we're killing moms tonight or I don't know after like oh like six old women were pushed over today yeah I don't know honestly that's a good question but I hate that shit you just

here I disagree that's why I like especially not like when we were younger we were always like let's get shaving cream fight each other with the shaving cream and then throw eggs at taxis damn which is so dangerous now that you look back on and think about it we threw well when I was I forgot who I was with we were throwing eggs at taxis and I think one of them pulled out a gun once we ran like like it was our last day a lot of that happened around here I feel like I remember one time a couple blocks from my house someone opened their door and someone shot them with a shotgun we're off to a fucking hot start here huh that's

why people dying and mom's getting stabbed eggs welcome back to the basement you know this Justin people just want to listen to this podcast to like escape problems over here talking about their mom's getting stabbed and shit don't come to New York but I remember one time specifically well I was super young I had cuz I remember the cops they go super hard on this night especially so if you have anything they will take it from you so I remember one day I was with Frankie and we had just gone our separate ways someone I had like can't I had a school bag and I had cans of shaving cream in it but I didn't have any eggs and

they the cops pulled me over and then what they made me give them the shaving cream and then they drove me to my house and like I just hopped out but then I went right back out like I'm almost like a head go like you know what I mean like I had shaving cream I didn't have like a fucking C4 I've got pulled over for a paintball gun before it was a big war in the park Gorsuch Street from my house one year bad I think Dylan sister got shot in the ear with a paintball stopped the whole war I thought was the coolest thing in the world it was like I don't know who we were we were shooting against but all you just heard was shotgun

paintballs eggs everything you could think there's a shotgun paintball gun yeah it sucked accuracy so do you remember first of all I was so scared this night but we somehow ended up with like a group of 40 people oh yeah I do I was I had to have been 13 14 and we were walking on 20th Avenue and also in this fucking van drives by and swings open the side door and I didn't like see because I was in the middle of the street but all I heard was like so I just ran I thought it was a gun because it sounded like I remember running away really I just ran and I was like oh fuck man people got shot whatever and I came

back and there was paint everywhere I was like oh shit so the guys did a u-turn and I remember me and Lorenzo you remember Lorenzo we stepped out into the street and we fired eggs and I remember mine went right through the door into the van and like exploded in there nice and then they were they got they hopped out and we're shooting paintball guns at all of us and we were throwing eggs at them we didn't know who the fuck they were I remember this is why I hate Halloween cuz she like this is so dangerous and I feel like if my mom knew any of this she would have never let me out of the house live life on the edge

I haven't gone outside on Halloween in a while I was a little nervous walking here I'm not gonna lie actually no I don't like it I really don't I would be nervous yeah a little bit tonight yeah for sure I mean I parked on the block here but if I parked like three blocks away I'd be nervous walking around I walked I parked around the block but I it's so hipster here now like I don't know man but I'm gonna be honest with you um it's packed up the street with trick-or-treaters I did I saw a lot of trick-or-treaters motherfuckers came to my door motherfuckers their children yes they are dumb motherfuckers came to my

out of here Ahmed told me that he someone knocked on his door and he got so scared that he just went into bed and went like he's pretending he was sleeping my mom had the door open these kids were open in the screen door I was like what are you doing fucks a fucking knock oh trick-or-treat yeah get the fuck out of here dude I remember one time like three years ago this group of kids they were probably like in seventh or eighth grade they knocked on my door and they know who I am right so they're asking for me so my mom makes the dumb mistake of going downstairs like I come out and meet these people I'm like ma

this is such a bad idea I go out there I'm talking to these people like whatever then it's just one kid right he's just is so adamant about playing me in basketball he's like yo play me one-on-one play me one-on-one I'm like go the fuck away you know I mean he was a kid in eighth grade I wanted to hit him I'm like shut the fuck up he's trying to be cool yeah he's in front of all his friends you will play me one-on-one no I fucking won't because I'll smoke you the little kids across the street ask me about you when I walk into my house like hey man you see Joe Tom I said what's up like I don't even know your name kid

like the fuck you want me to say hey didn't someone notice you the other day for a basement yard yeah yeah I'm pretty sure he listens to this podcast was a dude yeah I was sitting on the train and he's like hey dude you're Anthony DeVino and I'm like I was like yeah it's me I'm like how'd you recognize me bro I got like a full beard right now I think my beard is thick you look like this 24-7 no my beard is thick all right you know and he's like oh I noticed your tattoo and like you can only see the point in my arm and I'm like damn you're a big fan bro because you barely see that shit and that was pretty cool

didn't someone like on the train that was it it was on the train and oh we went the other night Friday night oh my god that was a disaster to the plunge holy shit I ran into Albus I don't remember why I did that oh because we were picking up Marco yeah Tommy and I ran in there and some girls was oh hey DeVino I'm like who are you yeah DeVino's a big hit in these streets because of the basement yard it's great I love it I'm not mad I'm not mad but I do tell you this I did learn not to drink any drinks with acid in it because lately they've been been throwing up in with acid yeah when we fuck does that

Frankie and Ahmed went to brunch that day I had 22 mimosas why oh I thought you talked about the drug acid no as acidic drink acidic acidic I don't give a fuck so acidic now that's so you know the other night oh well brunch I was drinking like I had 22 mimosas went into the bathroom I made myself throw up like three times just to feel better yeah then continue we went to studio that night right drinking that was the other night during the plunge we were at what was it the Bonnie and yo I was like I gotta go to the bathroom I went to the bathroom I was taking my finger down my throat cuz my stomach was killing me so much and I

was drinking the apple cider beers dude okay so there's a there's a bar crawl it's not really a bar crawl I mean it is but we've just made it up had fun like usually with bar crawls like there's a huge group and like there's discounts at bars whatever we just bar hop from from bar to bar call it the Astoria alleyway plunge I don't remember it like I remember the last bar we went to and I don't remember saying that shit to that girl that Sammy told me Sammy was like you told some girl that you let her skip you in line if you got to take her home yeah something like that because you kept asking me if you could skip me

and I was like no you can't and you're like yo I really got a pee I was like so do I and then I was walking in and I was in the bathroom actually and I heard you saying some shit to some some girl and then I came outside and I and I grabbed you and I was like you need a fucking roll I was I don't remember it I don't know you got drunk we're at my cousin's house and he and he like is a beer distributor or whatever the hell three beers there but that mad what was that mad elf yeah 11% 11% alcohol it was delicious if I had a six pack and I'd be faced down still you would not have a fit yeah you would be dead yeah that was

a lot it was delicious beer honey and cherry yeah I got fucked up I'm not gonna lie you I really did it was fun the last bar was fun I was playing good country music in there Judy and punch everybody hated me for that had to I don't know because we live in a story yeah yo man put on that city no no who where were we when we heard a house party that was it Judy and punch I put it on I had it on my rockin with house party about that and you put that on yeah Andy grammar yeah it's a great song and then Nick was fucking behind me putting in fucking fucking juicy and fucking Tupac I'm like yo come on man country and

then the thing froze and everything went down all right anyway before we move forward gotta do this here show me sponsorship here this week we have seat geek if you don't know what that is it's an app you can download on your phone it's for buying tickets and shit it's like the easiest way to buy tickets literally all my friends use it I use it it's just very convenient you know I don't want to use websites anymore I want to use apps and you go on the app and like they show you seats and when you click on the seats you can actually see a real picture of like what your seat what it look with your view from the

seat and they have like if it's green it's a good price if it's right it's a bad price dude the other day I was looking at giants I forgot the game it might have been Giants Cowboys in December maybe I don't know it might have been that game but there was a seat like in the 100s and it was green so I clicked on it it was like a hundred and sixty eight dollars I'm like are you kidding me but don't quote me on that but I could have sworn that was the game but I'm not sure but a pretty good price cuz they suck the fuck up Patriots piece of shit anyway if you want to download C-keek download that shit and

then in the promo code you could put basement and you get a $20 rebate after you make your first purchase so download the app promo code is basement $20 off but yeah it's just the easiest way to buy tickets I agree I like that I look at it all the time just cuz even when I like I'm not aware of it I just like look for like what concerts are going on what's what's happening anyway Halloween dude can you stop singing the song Jesus yeah I actually I was sitting in my car the whole time he told me not to come here and I made a purchase of on start for three years and I wait where were you sitting in your car around the

block you said don't leave yet and I was here I was bored you really I'm gonna send my fucking house sitting in your car is the same thing sitting in my car I I did a lot of things like I said I purchased on star and what does that get you I don't like security if someone steals my car I call on star and they shut my car down so the asshole yeah man we got a new truck holes and you're driving 80 and it just drops to 30 and you can't go over it what are you gonna do you're gonna keep driving 30 miles an hour you're gonna get out and run leave my truck you fuck is that what on stories yeah I thought you just like

click on the button and they go yeah man that too but I have a GPS in the car ready and if I lock my keys in the car they unlock it for me I could start my car from my phone when I'm on the train you know shit like that it's nice it's cute oh wow that's good cute and then I ordered um XM radio for six months why I need it for what I listen to country isn't there like 947 yeah but I recommend Sirius XM for everybody why it's pretty cool I like it it's just no commercials I need it it's pretty cool I like it but that's what I was doing while you made me wait you fuck bro I told you 745 yeah man I gotta do

homework yeah it's not what I said yeah I said I was on the phone and I had to edit yeah in the middle of editing I was on the phone so that's when I when I got off the phone I texted you said hey come at 8 because I have to fucking continue editing cuz I was on the phone that's crazy because this weekend I have to actually go do electrical work in the White House so you know I don't know what you mean by that mm-hmm because I know you're not serious if I just show up in there to the White House I am part of a union now the fuck does that mean they're gonna let you in the White House do anything it'll be in the

world trade center tomorrow are you no down the block what are we doing for New Year's I don't know man I hope it's as live as last time last time was fun I had to dress up in a suit last year was when I rented out that thing was it last year I don't know a lot of mistakes were made that night that was a disaster that was last year a lot of mistakes were made into that night and then after that and then after that honestly I'm not even sure but that was really disastrous me and Eric we're gonna stay over that night and sleep on the floor with two other girls and which one Eric is the other RIP and it was a

mess there was a lot of throw up a lot of liquor right and I didn't know any of this cuz so originally you you almost you were I was walking up the stairs and you were half dead yeah I was y'all I can't see all right I honestly what happened was I so let me just give you everyone the backstory here so I can paint the picture for you I went on Airbnb and was looking for spaces to rent and I found this one spot and I was talking to people I was like listen I'm gonna have people over like I wasn't gonna like lie to someone but yeah I'm just want to hang out there so I told the guy I'm like listen I want to have a

party here like 20 30 people ended up being around 40 but I was like you know like 20 30 people like nothing crazy my friend's gonna bring DJ equipment play music he's like yeah cool note no problem and he asked me he's like what time do you think he'll be out I said how about 3 p.m. the next day so it gives me time to clean up everything the next morning you know what I mean so he said okay and then whatever we went we set up the party we had the party the problem was I went there at like 6 p.m. to start setting everything up and immediately started drinking sorok so I had a lot in me I all I drink that night was champagne

bottles I was taking random people's bottles out of the fridge downing it I was drinking Jack Daniels out of the bottle and I was fine like I was drunk but like I was functional you know what I mean and I remember the ball dropping we set up a TV so we could see it remember the ball dropping then people started lighting cigars in this place that was me and you took my cigar out of my mouth that was the last time I saw it right and I smoked the whole thing and then I gave now I was gonna say and then I gave it back to you but then after I smoked that cigar dude all my my feet could not leave the ground like I

couldn't lift them like it felt like someone's pushing down on my shoulders like I felt so heavy you know you know smoking a cigar gives you like a light headed feeling and due to the fact that you were already drunk it just made it worse for you and that's that's what it fucking sent me to hell I smoked a lot that night did you shake my head dude I remember it was like I made it to like 1230 like I didn't make it at all like a bunch of people showed up Frankie I hadn't I hadn't seen in a long time and he was gonna show up at 1 o'clock I didn't even get to see him he had to go back to school the next day I didn't

see him for another five months at one point random people were coming upstairs right from the street and I was being I'm just you know me I'm normally a friendly dude and I'd hope you know where this where the story is going and I remember some dude came upstairs and he was like oh hey man I was like hey bro like not in that voice I'm like what's up you know like how are you you know you want to drink and I hadn't I was so drunk I didn't know any better and oh yeah man I'll take a drink so I gave him a drink and he just kept talking to me and the dude kept feeling on my neck really and I'm like damn man I was like I'm just

trying to be cool bro he was a gay guy yeah I'm like I'm not I'm not oh he thought you were hitting on I'm really sorry man but he kept and then I walk away and then he just find his way back to me and keep feeling on my neck and I'm like dude yo you need you need to chill out sorry you got to stop and and I think somebody kicked him out cuz I was like dude you gotta you can't you can't do shit like that I'm not I like pussy a lot there's no way I'm changing oh my god it was I had fun that night but trying to sleep over yo me Eric and the two girls that was the thing so I want to get to that sorry so I left at 12 30 and

like I have been I was the one who was booking and I was talking to the guy and I you know I like I said I told him we'll be out 3 p.m. the next day so I had time to clean up cuz I didn't want to leave it like a shit show so I made it to 12 30 and then I went to my girlfriend's apartment on 51st Street and whatever at 3 a.m. I don't know how but I was coherent and I had a bunch of no I woke up at like 5 a.m. and I had a bunch of texts on my phone and everyone's like yo we're fucked Joey I call it like I had 40 missed calls I had calls on the guy had text from the guy text from all you guys in a group chat and I'm like

are they kidding like is this is a joke so apparently the guy thought I said 3 a.m. so Davino and Eric in them were like yo we'll stay and sleep here and then we'll start cleaning up in the morning just put us and I was like okay that's perfect whatever and that's not what happened the guy came back with his wife went up the stairs furious and saw first of all my friend Nick was was sitting on the steps cuz like you had to walk up a flight of stairs to get to the loft so he was sitting on the steps throwing up and then scooching up one step and then throwing up again and he kept going up he's like I made it up at

least eight stairs so he threw up like eight times there was shit everywhere there was a bucket filled with red it looked like you cut open a pig's neck and let the whole thing bleed out into this bucket I don't know what the fuck that was I remember but it was there someone threw up in the sink that was doing was it yeah I was there with them oh my god there was there was like a glass doorway and there was shit all over the glass and I don't remember any of this happening while I was there it must have happened afterwards did you get charged for anything like dude yeah you got to pay for this yeah I paid a

cleaning fee it was like 350 bucks why we could have cleaned either guy was like no I asked him I said I'll clean it and he was like no get out I mean I feel him what he's gonna trust a bunch of drunk assholes to do it was pretty bad I'm not gonna lie to you it was like shit I was so nervous that the guy was like gonna sue me or something so you for 300 bucks clean it I know but I felt bad but the next day I had work and I actually worked like three blocks away from where this place was so I went there and you know the guy showed me everything I was like this place is fucked and I was like listen I will clean it either myself or

I'll call my friends they'll come and we'll all clean it or you know I'll do it I'll do whatever you want and he said just give me 350 dollars for like a cleaning fee yeah around 350 dollars you probably be 180 and pocketed the other money I mean whatever dude I we fucked that place up she got Dominic in there talked his way out of it yeah okay Jesus you're what happened last week huh the other night at the Highline Balm no why do you think it took her so long to get up there the bouncers like yo you owe 400 bucks like 400 bucks are you fucking stupid he's like 400 bucks Dominic talked his way out of it why are

you whispering but talked his way out of that whole thing I know but I wasn't gonna I felt bad dude I was wrong we went there the place was shit oh my god they wanted to put 18 of us at a tiny table you remember that yeah that was bad oh my god I couldn't stand it yeah I was actually upset about that I didn't move from the couch the whole night yeah I stood on the couch yeah I didn't move a damn finger I was like on the dance floor I mean there was no space to do anything man I was like trying to dance but I couldn't really I gave up Josh said Josh threw up like five times the next day he said the orange juice was spoiled

but we all had it it was probably acidic I can't take that shit no more orange juice or cider beers for Anthony nope the cider beers did you in yeah man I just destroyed me you know like the minute-made juices are in jade with acid those things you know if I have a sip of it the middle of my chest feels like a like just terrible and then guess what Frankie Saturday was it Saturday yeah Saturday you let's get brunch $15 mimosas and guess what I had to because he made me everybody was doing it me and it was why don't you try bloody Mary's oh yeah no they're gross dude there's like spice on the no no you drink

bloody Mary's you never drank one I don't drink so it's so offer it I don't make you into that there's like a stick of celery and I was drinking Bellini's what the fuck is that it's peach juice oh that's very good yeah still acidic is it it's a lose lose for me I'm not drinking there was some place I went to for like brunch for like I don't know if it was like Easter my mom's birthday or something I love brunch and they had those peach what are they called Bellini's they were really fucking good I was like you'll bring me three of these these are great I need to go to brunch yeah man we should let's go to brunch

I had a really good brunch at Trudy are they with some waffles some egg sausage so true on dipmars they have a great what the fuck's that the morning after I had we it's you know they I don't know what they did it's like waffles yeah they packed it up recently and it's amazing and out of nowhere Frankie just starts talking to the owner because the owner oh yeah you're the one who was throwing up last time and yeah what's up I'm like fuck man see what I'm saying I gotta chill wait how do you know you were throwing up because Frankie was fucking you know Frankie when I'm in the bathroom throw up dude I gotta use the

bathroom hello who is in there hello I gotta go he was being that asshole and then the guy wanted to use your friend okay man in like a European actor and your friend okay you know that's how I came over with a ponytail I was like this dude's European yeah that's the you know everyone who has a ponytail is from Europe you know exactly and he was short he was yet a button down yes yes please enjoy enjoyed the food here I don't know what that that sounds a little Russian yeah that's that's him that's his way any shorter than I am then that's a problem you can't be an owner in five to sure you can absolutely

not then you have to have Napoleon's go ahead you got it Napoleon what syndrome nope complex there you go good job look at you second try I thought that was gonna take at least five tries so you got that build a house I'll make it light for you you'll make it light for me cuz I'm an electrician you haven't done anything electric for me yeah I went to change your lights and I'm sorry that your lights are like 599 they get the job done they like the room oh yeah they're lining all right how about you light up my backyard I still waiting for that I've been begging you to let me do a look good do what you want but you're

like go out and buy the materials what the fuck do I need you for then I need all right you give me your company credit card all right give me your black and I'll go get it you're black imagine I don't have a black don't lie to me if I did I would show you but I don't have it's like having a chase after my preferred card it's metal they're both metal I mean a black card's a lot of it's a lot to handle it is don't you have to spend like a hundred thousand no I'm it's like no limit yet spend like a million maybe you go buy a house no every month you need to spend a certain amount I'm pretty sure it's at least a hundred grand I

think is an annual fee I want an American Express card to still look cool no no one ever sees my cars besides the bars the bartenders I leave everything I am a notorious for leaving my card at the bar if I left my card at a bar I cancel the night of I've never done that Rachel I just I always called the next day like yeah I fucked up I left my car to your bar I'm not gay you come get it I've left my idea at a bar before but then again my PayPal got hacked today no yeah did you call yeah how do they do that I don't know my password for everything is at least 17 digits no it's not at least hold on I'll tell you right now he's

counting with his fingers right now everyone 14 it's 14 yeah 14 digits why you think my shit ain't hack knock on wood I don't know cuz no one gives a shit about you I just don't want my shit hat I'm on top of everything I mean I have a couple passwords that I use and they're all like you know uppercase with some fucking numbers I don't want to give any clues here don't do that don't do that because now everything is oh one letter uppercase no there's a few everything I remember take pictures of our face who's who's they password take a picture of your face okay oh that'd be nice shit happens dude you don't know

anything now did you see the new Cadillac you take your phone it charges your phone and you slip it into like a slot so you can't text and drive while your car is chart phone is charging Dylan's gonna hate that shit if I get that car you okay charge my phone yeah sure but he has to keep taking it out to text put it back in the tax it's like a little slot this is pointless thanks for that man you're welcome you have any more car reviews you want to share no I'm good that's the last one hundred good I've been trying to cut back on texting and driving me to I can't help it me neither I don't text and drive on

the highway cuz I'm not a psycho I am that asshole who will scroll through Instagram on the highway yeah see I don't do that I am I don't scroll like I text night I scroll like I'll text I'll text that like red lights or like if I'm coming to a stop sign or but a lot of times like I feel bad that people behind me are like beeping because like the light turns green I don't even see it cuz I'm looking down and you know what's funny like I'm such a hypocrite because I do that and people beep and I go shit and I go but when people in front of me are texting or something and I have to hit the horn I'm just like

livid fucking stop looking at your phone you fucking idiot you don't throw things I don't what do you mean I'm gonna throw things at their car I used to work with some guys to throw anything at anyone while he was driving yeah I was like dude you know I don't do the fuck out you never know who you're driving next to exactly and I've had to get out of the fucking truck with him before because you want to fight people pull out a crowbar psycho yeah good night I and we were in Manhattan dude I had to pull my hat all the way down so no one would see me because you know today everything's on WorldStar mm-hmm

dude you know I just I'm afraid of that because there's some people who are psychos like you saw videos all the time of like some guy cut someone off then he like runs him off the road and he gets in his fucking he braced the window of his passenger seat like fuck that happened to me one time with the Camaro I cut somebody off because I wanted to get into the lane and he was in a Pepsi truck a boy's head truck you know those things are huge yeah and all of a sudden I'm looking down I look up into my mirror and this guy's creeping up on me ba ba ba boom slams into my trunk what so I get out and I'm like

yo what the fuck man and he goes yo man I'm really sorry I was I was like whoa you were texting just be honest and he was yeah man I'm like yo I look I'm not going through insurance all right why do you think memory of my trunk was dented remember I complained about it for weeks I was miserable mm-hmm and he goes all right man I'm sorry I was like yo I'm I was kind of cool about I was like listen the car's going back I'm getting the whole back painted just give me $150 and I think that was his tip money that he made for the day and he was like come on man like can I just do it for you I'll fix it I'll fix the paint

I was like no I was like if that's case I'll just go through insurance and he gave me a hundred and eighty dollars but he was like upset about it you know I'm like what do you want me to do right it costs 200 to paint the bumper you just hit you know mm-hmm fucking fucked on my trunk and then that's why cat I'm Chevy hit me with the bill of like $1,900 I haven't been hit or anything I remember one time no one even knows about this I my sister used to work at a some school and I was picking her up from work and I'm parked behind a school bus and I'm about I want to say seven feet behind it right so the school bus out of

nowhere like I'm sitting there on my phone starts backing up I don't think anything of it like I see the white lights like in my peripherals it's backing up whatever and I noticed like it's still backing up so I just look up and this thing slowly just hits my car and like it was taller than my car you know what I mean so it got kind of on top of the front bumper and like part of the wheel or whatever and hit it and I just went I put my arms up and the guys look at me in the rear view and I'm like I was in I didn't know I didn't say anything because I was in disbelief that he'd backed up hit me and then kept

going like a little bit and then went and then left and then just left I would have chased them down but I was so baffled like I literally I can't even explain it like thinking back on it I'm like why didn't I drive after this guy but I was so taken back I was like what the fuck was that because there was so much space it was like he did on purpose you file hit and run it was so weird listen to this um I've never gotten into a all right I'm gonna knock a word a car accident but this table is made of like nothing that's okay so um there's a there's a story that you don't have sex in your car because it's bad

luck it's like an urban legend exactly so when I had the infinity I lost my virginity in a car what's that say about me good good for you bad luck for life wasn't my car no it's bad luck for them this is why I'm the story so I had the infinity and um I used to fucking that car all the time because the backseat was pretty comfortable so I finally got hit somebody backed up into my door so I didn't think nothing of it you know when I go home and I tell my dad I'm like yo I think it's bad luck to have sex in your car because I just got hit like yo you're a fucking idiot shut up okay the second time I get hit from the back

Dylan was in my car and Zach and the dude rear-ended me bad took off my whole bumper remember I was depressed to drive my car it looked like shit of the infinity so I think nothing of it because like I said I used to have sex in my car all the time so I go back I tell my dad my dude I think it's bad luck and he goes yo you're fucking stupid the third time some my car is parked in front of my house all right some lady fucking flies back hits the whole front of my car destroys it right before I got the Camaro and like I said I went inside to my house of my dad goes yo listen enough is enough stop fucking in your car he

goes it's bad luck I get it just stop enough and um yeah I mean I never got two cars and everyone hits me and now I refuse to have sex in my truck in your truck the Camaro is the worst worst sitting back there is terrible right imagine fuck no swear it's horrible you could turn the seats upside down having sex in a car is pretty fucking terrible I won't do it I won't do it no more it's pretty bad there's no room to work you have like two positions you can do no when you're sitting in the middle of the backseat of a car you're chilling especially in the infinity because the ceiling was kind of really high it was a

great time I need I need room to work I miss it oh tinted windows blacked see I've had sex in in cars that had no tinted that's see that's scary wouldn't do that yeah it was it was dumb I have some pretty good spots when you have a boner things happen to you know hell yeah you don't give a fuck I mean I gave a fuck and I was kind of nervous I was like please don't catch me anyone but people like walk past my car and knew what was going on I mean you shut off everything you leave the AC on you know because it gets hot in there see that's a rookie mistake that I made on numerous occasions you left nothing on

nothing I was cracked the window very little bit it's a lose lose the car shakes but you have to have good spots because you could go to jail I know yeah you can not like jail like you have to use like I used to fuck across the street from a church what the fuck no fucks given it's safe what church St. Francis and then the one on the other side of the highway there's one over there where we used to play football in that field there's a church there yeah yeah perfect spot you got to get away from the street life across from St. Francis yeah by Frankie's house on that street yeah what's the big deal it's residential

yo sometimes when I really want to be safe I go to the corner of my house I park my car by ps2 and just let it how is that really safe you're next to a school oh I know where my surroundings are I'm safe or we worried about getting lost you want to get real technical I pulled into my driveway now you're talking right there dark pitch black it was good it was comfortable that's fine my dad was like yo you pulled back into the driveway and you were there for a little while the fuck were you doing I was like playing fucking cards I was like trying to figure out stations to favorite the fuck you think I was doing

you're a fucking idiot but long story short the moral of the story is do not have sex any cards bad luck continue that's what I was gonna say there you go but I mean I haven't had that problem I haven't got hit by a car knocking I'm knocking on the table that isn't careful about that I'm a safe driver I agree I agree you are I don't speed me neither yes you do not anymore you gave it up that's why I have a truck what does that mean pickup trucks I don't speed try speeding in a pickup truck that thing is gone it's sliding it's going into a wall you're dead you're dead

it means a big truck you're probably safe I don't know man I'm scared you can't go 60 miles an hour and try to turn with that thing it's weird it'll slide right out from underneath you what the fuck was that noise I do want to have sex in the bed of my truck just out in the open nice comforter back there doesn't have to be romantic you should drive to like Alabama would it find a nice listener who thinks you're attractive and then set up the the bed of your truck out under the stars the Alabama Sun not the Alabama Sun the Alabama moon stars stars I'm not looking for a girlfriend no you just you know just just do that I am looking for a girl that would be nice

honestly if I live in the south I would do that more than I would have sex in a house I would just like have sex in like the back of trucks I like that it's a beautiful view you got the mountains yeah are there mountains I'm not sure no there's a lot of you can't ask yours you can't oh I'm gonna go take the truck out to Montauk I'm gonna fuck there's no you're gonna get shot killed by the cops right and they're gonna take you to jail yeah motherfucker you think you're cool yeah man get some pussy yeah you're under arrest yeah yeah I know I'm gonna move to the south I've gotten caught a couple of times just with the flashlight but we weren't doing anything yet yet are they the cops came up yeah they're undercover cops they just point the light in there

and I'm not doing anything so what are you gonna do get out of here all right whatever it's never happened to me I'm very fortunate I've been to court numerous times I can't never done that either never gotten to summons enough I'm just jinxing myself I want to walk out of this thing I'm gonna get hit by a car while I'm having sex in it and then I don't know about that might be the new son of Sam but he can miss what you never know that's what scares me too when you have sex in a car some dude just comes up and shoots you that's what son of Sam used to do he used to kill people making out yeah I know but those people used to like that didn't make that doesn't make sense to me because like back in the day like in the 80s there

was like spots around town that teenagers would pull up to and make out at like by the you can make out anywhere by the white stone bridge had sex there too and that parking lot over there where the skating rink is the hockey ring oh right you park right there bang perfect view excellent view that was 90% of the time yeah yeah I used to go there that's pretty far it was perfect though there was like not a cop in sight it was a drive it was a parking lot you park next to car that's how you get shot yep you want it to be out you want it to be in a secluded area but not too secluded yeah where someone would murder you we're gonna go to the factories that's where I do that's the scariest shit in the world why rikers island right there you get a guy broke breaking out

on his glory yeah what do you think he's gonna stop to murder me maybe no shot he's gonna get out what if a guy gets out of his car one day he's like I'm gonna go to story and kill somebody today oh look they're fucking bang bang he would have to find us exactly that's not happening there's no chance of you getting away when you're in the back seat and then oh let me turn on the car and go I could climb up the back dude I'm very flexible I can just hide in the trunk if anything also I don't trust the factories you won't catch me dead over there I've had sex numerous times over there I'm scared that's your problem I won't do it and I know a lot of people so the in front of two churches is the is the other it's god hates you I hope you know that house of the lord don't tell

my mom that she'll fuck me out I'm telling her no I'm gonna tell her I know you had sex there you actually told me that back in the day now I remember I'm not mad safe under the eyes of the lord stop you stop I'm mature now Joey oh I'm sorry to my parents go to bed oh my god oh shit all right the good old days the good old days back in the day anyway we're gonna wrap this up here happy Halloween everyone check your candy because some psycho might slip a razor in it don't eat the candy that you could twist off the wrapper and put it back on see I love those candies like tutty rolls awesome beautiful tutty pops yeah great blow blow pops very good it's very obvious to tell if somebody unwrap that though

yeah I guess my mom used to tell me that people could stick needles of like pneumonia into chocolate yeah why would you do that like what are you getting out of some sickos out there I don't understand that I'm gonna kill kids tonight that's what they say bastard yeah they're like I'm gonna just make them sick gets me so upset let the kids have fun let the kids have their candy huh damn kids I need candy because you fucks I wish Halloween was something different like because when I have kids I don't want to go around and knock on random people's doors like oh you have to you have to dress up too I know it's I dressing up's fine that's fun I'm gonna be a pirate with my kid Frankie's gonna get a kick out of that but like I don't want to have I want my kid to have any of

that candy you know what I mean you got to inspect it I'm not gonna sit there and inspect it you know what I will do though this is what I'm thinking about doing let me run this by your seat if you let me know what you think so you know how like Costco sells those like variety bags so the kid's gonna be young and dumb right so he's gonna get candy from these people but I'm not gonna let him eat any of it because I'm say ah it's too late at night you can't do that because you'll rot your teeth know what you're gonna throw all that out and put yours in put the variety bag in there he'll never know the difference he'd be like oh candy I'm down Joey that is the smartest thing I'm gonna do the same thing exactly good for you right so if he goes to eat a piece oh mommy

gotta be smack it out of his mouth like we have dinner it's late at night your teeth are gonna rot that is a you're gonna be ugly yeah good for you you should have kids tomorrow uh I'm all good I'm I'm all sad I'm trying I wish I could have a kid I'm in the union now I got benefits Davino all right enough you're not gonna have kids I know I could dream one day one day yeah am I gonna be a godfather no right they're gonna call me uncle Joe though they're gonna be like that kid's not even funny why did you put up with now I'm just oh my kid's gonna date your door can I have it can I uh are you gonna name one of them Joe can I get a middle name probably let's go I like that name Joe mm-hmm if I was high and drunk naming my children right

which you probably will be it's a very good name I like it thank you you're welcome maybe Thomas ooh my brother's name remember just name him after my family I'm Keith and Shannon no I'm a fan of Thomas it's my guy maybe Charlie Chase dogs you know had a parakeet named Marty if you want to name anyone you had a parakeet before I had two parakeets where was this I was I was around when we were kids uh you weren't around yet I was very young all right I was like I was maybe in first grade all right before I was here I just posed a picture of me Keith in first grade I know but we weren't like hanging out each other's houses back then no we weren't exactly I don't even know how we knew each other I think our parents knew each other and then we became friends I think

that's how it started we became friends that way look at that you crack the code damn it I just realized it yeah fingered my head excuse me so well it's been good everybody nice to see you all right Davino where can they find you if they want to contact you already know it's at ant vino for everything I don't have to spell it out it's exactly how it is oh guys also go follow Ahmed please god if we'll follow him okay his his twitter is at it's a med with three d's he he wasn't on this podcast but I feel like he just needs it yeah please help the kid help the and shout him out yeah you know give him a tweet say hey Ahmed nice can anyone listening to this so I gave you his twitter ready can you just even if you don't follow him just tweet him like

dude you gotta shave your balls please and say Davino loves you and don't spell my last name wrong or just just tell me he's got to shave his balls he'll be so confused it'll be great yeah unless he listens to this but it'll have to get through the whole thing it's 47 I doubt he's gonna do that tonight me too all right so just tell him shave his balls please tell me love him right have a safe Halloween like I said check the candy switch the candy out yeah and go giants stop it okay let's go patriots as always thanks for listening you motherfuckers