The Basement Yard - Frank's Fighting Animals Again

Episode Date: July 23, 2018

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Before I start the show I just want to remind everyone of our patreon if you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard patreon spelled P-A-T-R-E-O-N You can support the show and get some extra content in return such as exclusive episodes full-length videos and more All right, I'll shut the fuck up now and enjoy the show Yeah Fuck started the episode you ready welcome back to the basement yard today I am joined by Frankie and Danny Franks back to people have been asking for you in your shirts, dude. I'm so fucking soaked That shirt's dope, what's on that dude two cans wouldn't be dope if dudes got got wet Dude, I think I do yeah, I get what I don't know about you

Yeah, but we don't get wet like for excited reasons we get wet because we're sweaty messes It's still wet. I think like when you like when your heart's racing because you're horny and you're ready No And then there's more moisture because I don't really get like a fast heartbeat. They're like my dick beats Yeah, I mean Throbbing at science your heart beats more when you're horny because like the money's pumping I don't I don't know if there's science that supports that. I think I'm pretty sure it's like fighter flights. Yeah, you're fighter Fighter flock fighter fuck. No, I don't think so. I think it does

No, you gotta land you gotta land you see you got to land your lines like what we were talking about No, fuck you just because you guys go together doesn't mean it's right Majority rules on this democracy. Okay, that's literally not if you landed the fight or fuck Wasn't flock I would I would have stayed on your side. Yeah That up before we started recording we had the the argument of like out of the three of us like who would be the best actor You know what I mean? Obviously, we all think it's ourself Obvious, so here's the real argument. Yeah, who's bronze you who's in there? I would say you thousand percent Yeah, me. Yeah, no way dude. He's got tons of I got like pain behind these eyes

Yeah, we're like tortured souls almost like what has happened? Tortured souls like I like I consider myself like an artist. Yeah. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Oh you too. Yeah What are you talking about? I watch put it like this. I watch you watch movies I want an actor. No, but I watch enough where I feel that I I have a better understanding It's like what would work and what wouldn't work with the training. I think I'd be all right better than you Oh, I'm saying him and I would be like an easy way to we would be better dramatic actors Yeah, you have better you do have better timing. I'll give you you're acting pretty well right now. Yeah, this is like Shocked this is a real shock. This is I think we would be better dramatic actors

Yeah, or we'd be like comedic actors that transferred into dramatic acting. Oh, yeah, Jim Carrey. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's see what do you want? What do you want us to do? You're the girl. What is it? You really want you're the guy seriously Actually, let me let me mess that up. You're the girl. I knew that was coming. Yeah, I knew that was you're the guy Mm-hmm, and you guys are breaking up and you are delivering the news to the girl that you're breaking up Where are we you're in your apartment that you've been sharing together for the past two years All right, but have we taken any breaks during that two-year time? No, what and I'll be honest with you. There's not a whole lot of arguments. It's just you're not you're not you're not feeling it anymore

You just lost a spark Right And action by the way make up names as you go You're gonna say anything or What do you want me to say I Mean I I Need I need context. I need to know what I did I

Mean if you really think about it, we've been living here for two years now And honestly our relationship has been going nowhere, but isn't that the point? comfort It's just it's just gotten to the point where I don't understand anything that you want to do I don't I don't know who you are. I thought I knew how do you not know who I am you've been with me for so long I'm the same exact person There's nothing about me that you don't know it so it's just if you don't like me now You've never liked me, but if there's something that's going on with you. I think you have a hard time telling me

We've been doing this for two years And now that it's part of it. It's coming up through me is I have to understand where you're coming from and honestly I don't know I don't know where this is coming from So it's not necessarily that I did something it's that I didn't do something I Don't feel comfortable talking about this right now. I think we just need to do and go our separate ways here You owe me the opportunity to fucking sit here and talk to me. Yeah, I owe you sure you do I what do I owe you? The shit that I've put up with you and helped you through you think that I just sit here and take this rolling down

Oh rolling down you think I want to just be you thought you think I wanted to get sick Sorry rolling Oh You think I wanted to get sick Honestly, that was really good on both of our parts. See like he wouldn't be able to do that. No, you wouldn't be able to Sorry unreal Well, I'm not gonna and I have acting experience. Let's just throw out my musical Y'all my god Frankie in high school was Don Quixote. Yeah

I would say he probably the best, you know, you know, it's you know, it'd be hilarious I'd be a close second. You and I are gonna be like one and two interchangeable. Yeah Yeah For the record by the way bronze don't who you yeah, right? Yeah, dude You're done that hurts. I could play way better characters in you No, it's not even about characters like we gotta get like if we're talking like dramatic acting like who would be the most successful I Will say the most successful would probably be you because you've got No, I mean look there are people out there that look uglier than you and are better actors in you that are not as successful

You know what I mean, and you got the looks dude, you do You can get thrown in a movie. I don't know like I Don't know if you're getting invited to any red carpets that are like Oscar. Yeah, you know like we would be Oscar winners before you would Yeah, okay, clearly you guys you're just like Nuts like we we'd be the type of guys that make like one movie a year and like we'd be like Daniel Daylose dude fuck Yeah, I'm going straight all right through to do they're rolling down. All right. Look that was not a great moment Yeah, but that could have been the name of the movie and he's and that could have been inside joke between and it maybe it's you know Maybe I have no legs and that's how I come. That's how I get places. I rolled down you have no legs

He just got sick Quite the quite the Created a world that people want to hear more about let me ask you this though Would you rather be a more famous musician or an actor easily a musician? No Easily how is that easy? It's way harder to be a musician But you asked if I'm if I wanted to be famous a famous musician or famous actor No, but you like to work and stuff goes into it. Yeah, but like I'm already famous you're saying Yeah, you're saying like you're already a famous actor already a famous singer. I'd rather be a famous thing

Oh, I said like just I'd rather be a famous actor a hundred thousand percent. That's trash I think if being a famous actor you have to do way less work But yo, it's not Yeah, but it's it's way more fun like you you get to party every night Yeah, making an album is not way more fun. You get to fucking hang out with your friends and making a movie and just fuck around What is what is your friends? What is your friends? You could be paired up with some asshole Sure that you don't like and you're the whole does movie sucks or the movie tanks imagine this you put your fucking heart

Like your your life Work into an album and it comes out and it sucks I still get to go to my shows because I have loyal fans That's true because you are famous because y'all if you ever see like Fucking there was like a Coldplay documentary a while ago on Netflix They get on stage like you imagine this and now imagine the reverse because you're going worst-case scenario. I'm saying this You make an album and you spend so much time on it and it's fun making it and you're doing what you love you love you love making music, right and

Then after you put it out it sells a lot whatever you go on tour you're in a foreign country There's fucking tens of thousands of people in the crowd and they're all screaming it back to you Yes, and you just go out there and everyone's just having a good time Okay, and you're just like half hammered and then after the show Like your boy picked out 30 smokes 30 locals and you just bang them on a bus I'll counter you with this you fucking are sitting in the crowd and you hear your name announced as you know lead actor in a

Dramatic series or lead actor for a fucking Oscar and you go on stage and you see these people that you have looked up to your whole Life sitting there applauding you and saying that you are incredible and they appreciate and look up and love your work And then after you get the smoke shows and you get to get fucked up Yeah, I didn't get a gold statue if you're asking me if doing a concert every night is as cool as standing in front of Meryl Streep I'm gonna go with the gods. Are you fucking crazy? Yeah, dude if Meryl Streep came in here and started clapping at me I would fucking ball. We got different priorities. I think I might switch If the coolest part of being an actor is the Oscars come on. I don't even watch it. You don't watch it Do you watch it? Of course? I watch it. Yeah, well, you're an anomaly. I don't watch that shit

I feel like actors are like sad or two No, but yeah, they get like a texture get like a touch to their roles though Well, those are the fucking nutjobs that sit there like like There you go that each raw meat for fucking being the butcher walks around his house like dresses They blinkin and shit. Yeah, like he did that for like a month. He was homeless He made himself homeless or something for a while fucking Leonardo DiCaprio slept in a real horse or some shit, right? Yeah, I think so. I'd like liver like eight liver Like raw like a horse's liver. It was really cold

First of all, like that type of like shit like come on Yeah, enough like Jared Leto Not a joker, not a huge condoms to Margot Robbie, which that's What you didn't hear about this? What did Jared Leto do for Suicide Squad when he was the Joker? He got so into character that for all his co-stars. He would send them shit. He was sending Margot Robbie Use condoms. He was sending like dead dead rats to people Will Smith and shit. Yeah, like Will Smith is like, yo stop sending me Do you believe it? Yes. No, do you believe that like he was so into his role that bullshit He was just doing it just cuz that's Jared Leto being Jared Leto

He was doing it just to have the like oh, he's in he's a method act now No, I can understand what Heath Ledger did how he like locked himself in a room and like basically went fucking nuts But he not the shit that Jared Leto was doing that Tom Hardy does that shit, too Like like he never comes out of character on set. Did you did you see? Jim and Andy the great beyond yeah, like that was a little That bordered the line of like a little reddit that documentary made me look at Jim Carrey a little weird. I was like yeah Like I felt like I was getting trolled. I did too like he was fucking with Yeah, I mean you were yeah, like everything that was but but it's it's weird because in that situation Andy Kaufman was the biggest troll

Yeah, yeah, so it's like is he just trolling just that's that just continues the fucking legacy of Andy Kaufman that he literally put That they put that out basically saying like they're trolling us again. Yeah, I'd rather be a famous musician like What Jim Carrey said was that he was like at the water and he saw dolphins in the water and that Andy came into his body. Yeah, he became a Hindi. Yeah, do you believe that? No, I Do believe that he felt like a connection to him after he bought his bongo with his fucking blood on it that I get yeah But like being like Yeah, the thing I felt the most about that it was the thing when he said about his dad dying When he wrote like a check from like to oh, yeah

Well, he was like $10 million dollars and then when his dad died he put it in his dad's like Suit pocket and it is what he had made his first dumb and dumb or a million dollars What was I gonna say that's pretty gangster. That's super dope. Also another thing with Jim and Andy Jim Carrey in that Netflix documentary where he was talking about it. He said that he Andy's actual family Were like astonished. Yeah, like yo, this is Andy and he talked to Andy talk siblings They talk to them parents like they were his own and he was like hi daddy I'm so sorry and they were talking to him and it was just like very emotional for them

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's fine. Let me ask you this Why like musicians is constant first of all touring it's exhausting You need to literally be screaming on stage for two hours And it's you're fucking drained an actor you go out you shoot some stuff not saying it's easy Oh, whoa shoot some stuff. It's like fucking 13 hour days. Yeah, but like look at like Brad Pitt Like what does he make like one movie a year doesn't matter. He fucking did all he had to do already He's gonna have to be in movies Dude, I would definitely go the movie route. No, like there's a reason Justin Timberlake stopped doing music and just did movies for like six years

You're coming back a little bit. Yes. I love teetering. No because you got to think about it like You know how many like even even like anyone who does something for a long time It's like oh if I if I feel like I have more talents I could chase something else right but between like justified and that other album. What was the new album? 2020 that was like 10 years in between look, this is A bomb You can do one as a fucking hobby You can act and be like a great actor and then do fucking music as a hobby

You can look at JTT now he does fucking he does both and he does music as his hobby because JTT Jonathan Taylor Thomas Justin Timbertape I Yeah, we're it's shout out to Jonathan Taylor Thomas, though wherever you are one time Yeah, but Jared let us suck in both. Yeah, see he just hates Jared. I don't like Jared Leto. He's kind of I'm done with Joker was like people can do both people do both if you're talented enough easily the least Favorite Joker on the planet that has ever been done. Yeah, it was pretty bad suicide squad sucked. Yeah, it was really bad I wish I honestly wish though, just like I don't give a fuck what I'm doing I just want the money to have like a moat with like fucking sharks in it and like

Alligators and tigers and just like a fucking jungle in my backyard. That would be ridiculous like there are people I remember Mike Tyson owned a tiger. Yes. First of all, how's that even like legal? I don't know. I don't know with a maillam I don't know and then you train it. I think you can train. I don't think you can train like oh sit You know sit buddy, I think you could train a tiger I think if you train a tiger or an animal enough to like let them know you're the alpha I think you'll be fine like the fucking like Christian the lion you guys remember that story dude that hit me right that lion hug Does you know you know Christian line? Is that the guy that like had didn't see the lion for like 10 years? Yeah, and he walks up and it hugs him like a dog shows his family off and shit. He shows like look these guys are the guys

Yeah Dude first of all and those guys was the biggest dicks in the world because they they raised this lion And then they didn't see it for how long released it into the wild Yep, then they found it which I don't know how you do that. Maybe a GPS They probably chipped them. Maybe it chipped it up. So then this was the 80s. Yeah, there's no way they chipped They probably just like painted his toenail or something but anyway, so They go into the wild and the lion sees them and they're just chillin you're in the wild and they're like

You know the lion start doing the shoulders Yeah, and it's like low to the ground do when dogs do that I'm like this dog about to fuck me up like that and it starts running towards them Like it's slowly walking and then started running towards them And they were like hey that that line could have fucking ate your face and that line just hugged them It's Christian. How do you and that's another thing all lions look exactly the same Adam. Yeah, how are they like? Christian has like a fucking like scar. He's got a Harry Potter thing on his head Yeah, I get it. How are you looking like give me two lions? I they could be the exact same ones

I won't be able to tell it. It's like one of those games you play in a bar. What's like? What's that a place? Yeah, nothing on the background that doesn't have a roof on it Yeah, if you could own any exotic animal over to be though giraffe No way bald eagle You can't play with a bald eagle. You can't play with it. Yeah, you can play with a bull It'd be cool just like releasing it and being I have you come back on one of those catch up on those gloves Just hang in there. I was like, yeah, what are you doing? Give me give me a sec You imagine that would be fucking awesome. Yeah, I also want like monkeys, but like those are

Monkey, but like I feel like if you had a giraffe people would be like Yeah, who the fuck has a giraffe and where am I putting it? That's a good point Yeah, you can't comfortably have a giraffe. I'm like your giraffe out like in the yard It's like making noises like honey, can you let the giraffe out? He's he's doing that thing again I want a monkey because like I've seen the like the new Planet of the apes movies And it's just like they can get there You know what I mean like in terms of like how smart they could be like they could sit there I can fucking like Coco the gorilla no shit. I want something like that

Did you see that gorilla that recently like told like told the people not to feed it in sign language at the zoo I think that was Coco it was like oh Yeah, it was like it was so sad and it wouldn't feed until it like met its owner from like Like 20 years ago, and then it met it and they fed it I don't think I think it was like a I don't think it was a gorilla as much as it was I don't know who Coco the gorilla is. You don't know Coco the gorilla. Well first of all RIP second of all Rob Williams met Coco the gorilla actually Coco the gorilla was like a really famous Gorilla out in California. They're like a bunch of it was like

It's like learn sign language can communicate with humans and then like raised a kitten to like adulthood And then had more kittens and then raised those kittens Yeah, and then they like told it like Robin Williams died and Coco was like Yeah, dude fucking insane Like a week away sign like Coco said yeah, it was like Coco very sad and stuff like that Yeah, that's the most baller shit. I've ever heard in my life. It's also fucking heartbreaking first of all, that's terrifying because They're gonna kick the shit out of a week away don't have the planet age happens in a week Yeah, because like no way. Yeah, we we've done a lot of like killing gorillas and like poaching them and then like

Throwing them in zoos and shit. They remember that shit a hundred percent. Yeah, our zoos bad Most innocent way to ask that. I don't know I For them, I guess I like them You know, I'm not I'm not on the other side of my fucking toucan shirt I would like to like is it is it really that bad? It's kind of bad. It's bad, right? It is someone's gonna go off in the comments. Yeah, it is bad You someone's definitely gonna fuck us up. I I

Don't like I feel like all those lions in there though. Like aren't like real like lions though. You know But it's not like a bad ass lion though. That's a bad fucking line I mean, dude, there's no lions that are not bad ass. You watch Madagascar way too many times Yeah, you're seeing like these trained like circus animals that go into the wild that are like They can't eat that dude. Oh, I know is I went to the Bronx zoo and I saw a lion. I was like I thought I was expecting more You are what's wrong with the world? That's how we get like in Jurassic World fucking genetically mutated like bear lion Combos wait, wait, what what were you expecting for it to be a little bigger? Give it some time Yeah, I mean you're watching this thing from what a hundred feet. Yeah, I mean

Do you know that a lion and I think a tiger fully grown, you know, like have you you've had a pet cat? Mm-hmm. I Know you're not about a fucking compare these things Do you know when you a cat licks you it has like the barbs on its tongue? Oh, yeah A lion like fully grown cats can lick the skin off of your bones. That's fucking gangster with their tongues Tigers are bigger though. Are they bigger? Yeah, they're they're fatter. I don't know. They're bigger really Yeah, I know I know one king of the jungle. That's what I know and they're not even from the jungle the lions They're from like pride lands. Yeah, and the women do the hunting. Yeah, literally the lions sit back

Fuck their spouse and then just like try not to die. First of all, fuck this shit out of their spouse Do you ever see that? Yeah, dude lions can feel like shake. I worry like I don't know what's like weird like butterfly Yeah It's fucking terrifying. Yeah, it probably busts big loads. Dude. We ever seen lion come. I don't know Google it right now. I mean, I'm sure it just looks like I'm sure it looks like run of the mill come I mean jackass they used to drink like horse come. Oh my god. That's you know, you want to talk about dicks I'm going to incognito tab because I don't want you know to be honest to be honest horses

Don't need that big of a dick. No everything unnecessary. There's a bunch of unnecessary inches there lion cock Whoa someone did oh man Jack wait, wait, what are you looking at cool? What's going on? Someone made like hentai porn. Oh, dude's sucking a lion. It's like the lion king. It's like Nala and Simba It's like Nala and Simigun Thras. Nala has like human tits. Yeah, you see that, right? Yeah, and that's scar That's fucked up. That's not even Mufasa. That's fucking scar giving her Can you use someone else's IP address if you're gonna look at stuff like this? I don't want the government knocking down my door. No, you're bad there. This is bad. She's going human She's going human spread come on you want to see it. Yeah

What am I looking at here? Holy shit, they got digs. She's going human spread. Wait one of them CP already. Yeah, yeah Wait, you what did you Google lion come Did you see that yeah, that's the first one I looked at burst it all the way through I Want to see yeah, I'm crying right now. This is weird. This got weird. Yeah, let's just put this down We can we'll fix us a post Yeah, but Who is watching this lion king porn furries because Lion King

Lion King is for children But even as a kid, I'm like I'm not watching Lion King like, you know, it'd be dope if everyone was fucking First of all on a previous episode of basement yard. We've said that Nala's smoky. Oh, yeah Insanely smoky. Yeah, but this is mean. I want to see her like Suck a dick spread. Well, there was nothing about sucking dick in that one. Is it do any other Animals suck the other ones penis. I think monkeys do it, right? There was a monkey what's happening is that the zoo and he was jerking off. Yeah, that I think that I get that's fire Do you think any other like female animals?

Like like suck did like the dude off. No, like play with themselves. Yeah Female animals masturbate. No No, I've heard also humans are the only people who fuck for pleasure. Yeah, that I've heard I heard dolphins do that though. Yo dolphins are fucked up. How smart they are. Yeah, I heard dolphins have Rape Don't do that. No, I like dolphins rape until now. No, no, no, they rape. I thought they were innocent. No, no, no They're rapers. They've rape. Look look it up. Dolphin. I'm looking at look up dolphin race. Listen back-to-back Google searches are not not going well animal sex for pleasure. No, no, look up dolphin rape

Dolphins rape. I definitely heard that. He's being very specific. It is often assumed that animals do not have sex for pleasure Perhaps dolphins and two or more species of primates have sex for pleasure So dolphins definitely do and now I'm gonna look up dolphin rape Dude, you're using safari? Yeah, okay, you're one of those people. Yeah, the dolphin rape myth. Oh It's a myth. It's a myth. I feel bad. I gotta apologize. I apologize Dolphins bottle nose out there bottlenecks or whatever they're called some they got bottles somewhere Google the term dolphin rape is the first thing first

Sentence in this and you'll find continuous references to male dolphins raping female dolphins males raping other dolphins gang rape Dolphin gang rape That's scary. That's fucked up. That's scary. Yeah, I'm done with dolphins and even dolphins raping humans I'm done with them. Okay. Oh, that's not true No, no, there are people that have said like they've been like swimming and a dolphin's like cock like touches their fucking lord You know, and it's like oh swim with the dolphins because that's for some reason people think it's a fucking good idea And then like they say like there's doll. There's dolphin dick on me. Yeah, hold up. I Might swim with a dolphin. I'm swimming. All right. A dolphin

I'll swim with like if I could be submerged like hold on to their fin and like come out of the water I'm doing And if the payment is it's rubbing its dick on my leg, whatever whatever go hand. Yeah, I've had regular dick But I'm not I'm only getting in the water with the dolphin. Nothing else. I don't give a fuck What does that mean? What are you gonna hang out with it at a bar saying like scuba diving count me the fuck out enough? I'm going scuba diving. I can't I wouldn't go scuba diving. Why don't leave your bait your bait Your bait at that point in time actually bait. You're connected to a wire. Oh, all right So you're not bait. You're a fucking sacrifice. You're an offering your prey. Yeah, you are yeah for who?

Literally everything and I'll beat the shit. I have a fish though. Yeah, I won't beat the shit. I have a fish Yo, a school of fish comes it's taking you down. I don't give a toe where They're gonna grab me. They got fucking gills put my fucking finger in those gills Yeah, and then what about the other fucking a hundred fifty fish in that fucking I'll be honest It would be like being in the middle to me That's like if a hundred pigeons are flying at me at the same time I'd be even then I think they're more dangerous than fish. I'd be more. I'd be more afraid of like technical errors What is that? Oh?

I'm not talking about going trying to get treasure titanic kind of scuba diving I'm talking about I could see the surface and we're just looking at the coral. I don't give a fuck where the surface is I'm not cool. I'm not gonna fucking snorkel either, which is the poor man's scuba dive Yeah, the snorkel is stupid. So dumb and I can't even breathe with a snorkel Yeah, it's it's a so hard very uncomfortable. I don't like that But yo, you're literally in there. You're in their terrain. I don't know if terrains the right word I don't think so either you're in their habitat habitat and thank you. You're literally asking to be fucked up No, I would say so you're literally asking to be fun. It takes one fucking

Some one go you know how much shit in the ocean can kill you and not even by like Like biting you just like it touches you and you're like, oh, I'm paralyzed. I'm here to die now Yeah, but I could have it on land. Yeah, I could look at that fucking that girl like a bit by that shark I'm all against victim blaming but Really, I'm also gonna blame that on the fact that she was white. Yeah. Yeah, I think no one else is doing no one's doing I don't care if that comes off as racist. I'm white. I'm like, you know, I'm exercising my advantage My wife is a thing no other person is

Going to be on a boat and see sharks and go dude. Let the back down. I'm gonna pet this thing No, not even pet. She's just lying in there like she's like they're not gonna fuck her up and even as a friend. I Would never let you do that. Yeah. No What do you want to do you want to pet it? What does it feel like you know? What's the pay off picture would be on Instagram people be like, all right Scroll to the fucking next one. I mean the jokes on us now because the fact she got bit now It's kind of doing what she wanted getting bits fire. That's a good picture. If you're not sure I'm willing to take no, you ever see the video the guy that got bit on his calf and it just took his whole calf off

Oh, and literally that's something that I think you'll they pull him out the water And it's literally like his skin is hanging and it looks like like like like wet paper. It's just like fucking dangling there It's insane Before we move on let's get to the sponsors here The first one we have is hymns or the only one we have is hymns Which is a one-stop shop for hair loss skin care skin care sexual wellness for men You get medical-grade solutions real doctors offering well-known generic equivalents to name brand prescriptions to help you keep your hair Okay

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Yeah, that is all anyway Insane you're afraid of the sharks you did I'm afraid of everything you did you did on this show say you could beat an alligator Oh, I could fuck up an alligator. Absolutely We'll never get to the only fight that you could be an alligator in is like a boxing man, dude If there are fucking little kids that sit on alligators and hold their mouth closed as long as that I don't give a fuck if it's rolling if that mouth is closed I'm beating the shit out of that thing So you're telling me if you sh if you take away the only thing they have you're gonna beat it up

Yeah, if I take it, okay, it's gonna start rolling. Yo, it's gonna start rolling and then guess what? I have two fucking thumbs that are going straight in those fucking eyeballs I'm killing this thing straight up so I don't give up exactly. I don't give a fuck. I'm taking this thing down All right, I'm team Frankie. Thanks. I really appreciate that gator up. Yeah, it's all fun and games until I put a gator in here Yeah, yo if you get a gator in this room a gator the size of this room I could do it Yeah, you under the size of this room if it's as big if not small in this room I'll fuck that thing if it's from this wall to this wall that thing will fuck you up

No way because half of it is the tail. I'm not worried about the tail the tail is that's just it's fucking an add-on It's like DLC. You don't need it to beat the game You know what I mean? You don't need that the fucking extra skin That body that four feet of body is getting fucked up by me. I honestly like I'm concerned about how stupid you are As your friend you shouldn't be I'm like afraid to let you leave you because I don't know what you're gonna pick Oh, yeah, no, you know, I don't pick fights or anything But if it came down to like yo, you I never want to hurt an alligator. I'm not just gonna like go find one and fuck it up

I'm gonna know what I'm doing it, but I know what I'll do to it if it came down to like yo, you need to live Like it's you or this alligator. I'm winning. Yeah, that's what happens in most animal attacks and guess who wins No, no, no, no, no, you'd be shocked what the human body can endure. I will fucking I will my adrenaline will kick in I will beat the ever-living hell out of that thing Did we say we kicked the shit out of yes a couple days ago? What we were talking about an animal we would we would beat the shit out of any birds I'm also beating this shit out of oh a kangaroo. No way. Oh, yeah, we were saying we beat the shit out of a kangaroo in a fight You don't think you can beat up an alligator, but you can beat up a fucking kangaroo. I'll kick the kangaroos ass

Yeah, listen yo kangaroos literally all they have to do is they literally sit on their tail and just fucking Kick their hind legs of you and you have no chest. Yeah, but I'm gonna give it distance I'm gonna let it throw that I hit a kangaroo one time in the face. Good night. Have you seen these kangaroos what they look like? Yeah, they're big boys. They're jacked dude. I'm gonna take like a small hands. Oh, they're not seeing me like the striking game I'm winning that yo, I'll shoot a double leg on a kangaroo and if you get a kangaroo on the ground who's winning now I'll Training really good training. I'll choke a kangaroo out. I'll put a kangaroo in a rear naked I'm putting my foot right in that fucking weird sack

They carry their little babies in and I'm just teeing off on you I think that's scary about them as if you watch videos of kangaroos fighting They sit on the tail and they go kick right for the dick. Did I did I not? Oh, yeah, I said chest. No, you're right. They kick dick. They kick dick Oh, absolutely, and they kick down to if they catch dick They're yanking it down onto balls, but do you think you could be like a deer up dude? Fuck a deer With the antlers though. Yeah, watch this watch this snap done A moose will fuck you up. Well moose will fuck anything up a moose is nuts

Do you know I there was a story of a moose getting hit by an 18-wheeler moose got up and walked away truck was fucked dude Dammit I think they're me mice. Oh It's moose Whatever it is they're built like tanks. Yeah, they're huge so that like I'll admit I'll take a lot Would you buy a moose if you were famous and rich and money if I lived in like an area like that? Yeah, I would fucking just have a dope ass moose. I think if I got a moose from like birth and I was able to like It's my guy. Yeah, that'd be awesome

That'd be so far if you walked around and like chopped wood with your moose I don't have a guard dog. You have a I have a look at this fucking. Yeah, that'd be actually really nice I would teach you to let me write it if I had like yeah If I get to work wilderness like a wilderness piece of land and like the backyard is like I can let like a moose live comfortably Yeah, doing it. You know, it's funny. I said this the other day because we were talking about bears I think I'd be very irresponsible like around bears like I Like I really want to like I think they're like cuddly looking and I also think that like They're way slower than they actually are

I have the information in my head of them being able to run like 40 miles an hour You don't buy it, but I'm just like I still think I could kind of juke it. Yeah, I'm like that with Like a lot of things put that bear in the combine. I really want to see it run. Let me see Yeah, let it get a yard dash. What you're supposed to do is run down a hill or in or yeah They say run down and they roll because they're heavy. Yeah, they're body. You like they can right now That bear Gets close to you. You're dead. Yeah, well, they say they slap you you're nice They say brown lay down black attack if it's a black bear

Just like make yourself loud and big and go at it and it'll see I don't have those kind I don't have that kind of dick and brown they say just lay down and fucking just take whatever's coming. Yeah, I I'm telling you now Take what's coming. I don't have it in me to be like He wouldn't buy it I would do it because shit with my voice out of me. I'd be like cracking A part of me like wants to like see a bear at the zoo though like oh, I want to see bears I want to see I want to see a bear. I feel bad because I guess it is you know what's funny is the zoo You're not paying to see anything. You're paying for your own safety

You're literally paying be like here. Give us money. So these things will fucking mull you and you see them in the real world That's not true. It is Yes, you go to it you go to a zoo Like I want to see every animal that I'll never do that. I'll spend the rest of my life trying not to see Yeah, there's I'm afraid for my life. There's three things. I want to see every time I go to a lion lion gorilla Gorilla and a polar bear bear first of all bear's first of all Where the fuck are we on rhinos? Why don't you want to see a rhino? Dope I need to see monkeys. I need to see monkeys. We should we got it

Let's go to the zoo. Let's go to the zoo as bad as they are We're going to the zoo. We have to go to the zoo. The last time I went there was just peacocks just walking around You remember we went together for your school project. That's right and there's just peacocks. Yo, dude Coax peacocks just walking everywhere. I don't know why I was saying that peacocks No, but there was peacocks just walking around. You know, it's weird I don't know. How did they get through that electric fence? I think they just let them go. Do they fly? No I think they could like spurt. They're a flightless bird. What the fuck is spurt like they do like a Like a chicken up to you. Here's here's the thing, right? I know peacocks aren't poisonous, but for some reason I think they are

Those quills. I don't you know, like there's all the animals that have like crazy designs and like whatever I always feel like they got something like ever since I saw those like really cute-looking Tree frogs that are like, oh, they're so durable, but they literally are like the most poisonous things ever to poison Poison sucks. Yeah poison sucks. Yeah poison would definitely I don't I don't trust birds. I Trust birds birds. I feel like our honorable animals. I don't trust birds I don't trust birds because they could be carrying stuff. Yeah, well bird I mean, yeah, anything could be and remember you like as a kid you come home with like a bird feather and you'd automatically have to wash your hands Oh, yeah, I was a doctor get a shot

Yeah, I was the idiot that used to get those bird feathers and like dip it in like I'd like draw with my pen on the paper and then dip it in And think that I was writing. I'm not bright. You're trying to be fucking. I thought I had like a Franklin Yeah, that would first one on Thomas Edison be about Benjamin Franklin. That was a lot later You know what? Benjamin Franklin was my answer and I was like I need something I need a guy Don't worry about it. I said Thomas Edison. That's I should have said Thomas Jefferson. What's the closest Zuda here? No, no, no, no, there's one in Flushing Middle Park

There's a zoo there. Yeah, it's probably don't got. No, they got super dope stuff. Oh nice They got alligators. They got fucking monkeys. They got it all I went on a safari when I was in Disney World and it was awesome. It's right next to it's pretty cool It's right. No giraffes are nice. The whole size of those giraffes. Yeah, it's right next to the whole science. I Hate yo, you know what I hate Every time you go to the zoo for some reason the one thing you want to see is like it's not around like yo Where is it? I sleep in all the gorillas. It's closed the grill exhibits I'm also that asshole that always gets those elongated pennies with like the fucking picture of like

I'm that douchebag who wastes a penny to crank a fucking You know what I mean? Yeah, you got to crank the thing and it flattens it the other thing about the zoo though, too It's like it's one of those like morning activities. I feel like though. I can't go to the zoo at night like it's like You know the beach. It's like an all-day thing like you wake up in the morning. You get all the shit go to the beach The zoo is like that too. Yeah, I see that, you know, you got to play in your whole day. You got to pick up food I'm pick pick up food. Yeah further for the drive beach. Yeah for the drive for the beach Oh for the beach. I thought you were talking about for the zoo. I'm like, no, how long you this fucking first You got to crush your bacon egg and cheese on the way. Oh, you gotta be getting cheese if you're going anywhere

Yeah, bacon egg and cheese on a bagel or on a roll on a croissant bull You want to talk about calories? It's just butter. It's just butter. That sounds amazing I'll do anything. I'll do anything for it. I'll do anything. I'll eat a bacon if you have one Yo bacon egg and cheese, but the egg Over-easy on an everything bagel. I Think everything bacon everything bagel is is the king of bagels There's no doubt about it. If you eat anything but in anything big everything bagel. You're fucking dumb

Yeah, like there's no there's no reason why you shouldn't name everything on everything bagel. Yes There's poppy seeds there's sesame seeds, there's onion there's garlic there's salt Oh my god, I want everything bagel so bad. I want it so bad right now. I think that's it, right? I think I think like sesame poppy sesame poppy garlic onion salt, you know, it's on an everything everything bagel Everything yeah, everything. Yeah, everything So good. I want one. Do you like everything bagels? I mean, I you know, do you eat cream cheese? No, no, no, no stop. Do you like anything everything bagels? I'll eat in everything bagel, but like it's not what I order like all the time. What do you what do you order?

Like if someone is like, you know, we're going to get bagels. Yeah, I'll just Waiting I'm waiting. He is like burning a fucking laser. I'm trying to think of what Other bagel it could be and I'm stuck I mean, if you're not gonna like the answer if you're gonna get a sesame bagel get a fucking everything bagel I'm not it's not a sesame bagel onion bagel egg bagel Onion bagel that's disgusting. Wait, is this a bagel with onions on it? It's like that's right. It's like the dried onions They're pretty I like onion. Yeah, no, I also like all the other ones too. That's why I get everything If someone's getting bagels, right? I bet you I just get me like a plain bagel with butter

Are you fucking kidding me? I knew you weren't gonna like it Joe vanilla Joe strikes again Listen, if I but I'm not the type of person. It's like they don't have plain bagels. I'm not gonna go Well, they don't get me anything. All right. Yeah, but I would get a good order is Literally, that's there is nothing more plain than that. Yeah, like that's like a construction workers breakfast right there It's regular not even just like give me a plain bagel with butter And let me get back to the side. Listen, some people go crazy with the bagel. So dude I got cream cheese. I got locks. I got I haven't had but I heard it's good. Yeah, fucks with lots Really? I haven't had it's very expensive. Yeah, that smoked salmon is expensive locks cream cheese is bad good

But yo everything bagel if I'm not getting bacon egg and cheese. I'm going veggie cream cheese See that also sucks. That's scallion cream cheese. No different This has like carrots and peppers. That's pretty good. Yeah, it's really good Do you like go out of your way to eat vegetables? Yes. Well now I have to We don't have a choice But what I'm saying is like does anyone like love vegetables or they eat it because they're like this is good for me I think I think I've learned to love vegetables. I legitimately love some veggies. You crave veggies Yeah, yo brussel sprouts are fucking amazing

Roasted brussel sprouts roasted with garlic and olive oil brussel sprouts. You guys are pretty pretentious Dude, they're amazing asparagus. Amazing. Dude. Once I got diagnosed with diabetes. I was like, hey, what's up? What can I eat and it was everything that was amazing? So I don't know if I love vegetables, but I've learned to love that. Yeah, you had yeah Like I had to learn like in my own head. I had to learn to fight or fly. I've never fought or fly Fight or flock. I've legitimately loved vegetables Like always there are some that I don't like. There was there was time, you know, catalina dressing. Yeah, of course There was one day I went to frankie's house. He had an entire cucumber

Not like peeled or anything just had a tired cucumber and a cup Of catalina dressing and was dunking it in and just eating it wouldn't doesn't that sound amazing? I would do I want to say it sounds it sounds amazing, but I would do it. Catalina dressing is great. Yeah I used to do like when I did like low carb So gross This is gonna be good I used to take like, you know the cold cuts like ham and cheese And I would take a piece of ham. I would take a piece of cheese put it down

Take a piece of ham put it on it and fold up the cheese So I had like almost like a ham and cheese sandwich, but that it was just cheese if you think that's gross But then I would dip it in mayo sometimes I mean, that's not really good. That's just deconstructing the way that you want something I would literally roll like a ham and cheese blunt and like dip it in mayo then eat it Keith does that constantly. Yeah, that's not that bad. All right. I thought that was like gonna be considered disgusting No, what I do what I've done before the real gross shit. Yeah, like if you spoon out the mayonnaise and just eat that that's disgusting Yeah, we need to talk. That's gross. We need to have a conversation if you put like

Like do you use a spoon use a knife though? Yeah a mayo. Yeah, of course I'm talking about eating it like Unless I'm doing like tuna salad Then you need a spoon then I use a spoon. Oh disgusting Yo, honestly, if I could pick my least favorite smell in the whole world, it's tuna You just don't like seafood though. No, no the tuna. I think legitimately smells gross like a tuna sandwich or like I can see how like a lobster would be appealing to people like I get it. You know what I mean

It's a little stinky. I get it, but it's not it's not that it's stinky, but like no tuna is is actually gross smelling No, yeah Sardines are gross smelling. Those are also gross. I don't think I've ever really smelled a sardine I could you're not missing anything. I could crush sardines. I don't think I've ever had a sardine either. You should try them They come in like olive oil. They're not bad. Try it. All right. I'll try them. There's a little fish, right? Yeah Why not? What's wrong with a little fish? Let's think get your omegas in get this. Yo, we need those omegas this kid gets no omegas Yeah, wait what you get no omega threes

Literally, you're fishless of like a nutrient that your body like it's good for you I don't get it anywhere else Maybe you get multivitamin, but I doubt that you I mean that same multivitamin bottle has been sitting there for about a year now That's because I only take it sparingly. Also the other thing that these pill companies chill out with making these things Tremendously big. Oh my god, dude. I take a multivitamin. It's like a horse pill It's like this big all the modern science like we can clone people now We can't make a smaller fucking multivitamin. Can we make this like drinkable or like chewable? They have drinkable and chewable ones. So yeah, I know but also soft

Just also like We probably shouldn't be taking that stuff because they're not controlled by the FDA So we don't know they could say like oh, this is all vitamin c and it could literally be dust But I also just don't want to feel like I have to be fucking david blaine to swallow a fucking Yo, to be honest with you, I couldn't swallow pills at all until yeah until high school Were you like one of these guys like? Yes, I'm still that way. Yo, are you really not that bad? But like I have to put it in my mouth and just kind of like it has to sit there for a second

And then I just swallow it. Yo, I have to take a pill Right now Do it what take like an Advil right now right now take an Advil. Yeah on camera. You know relax Relax you should I choke on it. I like yeah, I would do it if it was going to be a spectacle, but it's not It's literally I put in my mouth I put the water in and then I just sit there for a second and then just It like I don't do that. No more that's stupid

But like more often than not the pill like dissolves on my tongue and I have that awful taste on my tongue for way too long When you especially multi vitamins you put them on your tongue. It's like, oh my god, this tastes like an old woman's lunch Yes, exactly. You know, I'm right there with you. Yo, I can't tell you how old woman's mouth You know what it tastes like would it taste like you ever smell the inside of like one of those old plastic lunchbox boxes or like a Thermos, that's what it tastes like. Like an old person's basement. Yeah, yo, I love basement smell Are you crazy? Basement smell basement basements have smells. Yeah, they do but an old person's basement is like I don't remember the last old person's basement. I've been in trust me. You don't want to know They're gross. You got something to tell us. He's got some suppressed stuff down there. First of all, old people

This is based off just my grandpa. My grandpa had a basement full of cool stuff. None of it worked Well, yeah, that's yeah. He had an original Kong machine Wow, like, you know the one like you walk in and you look down and play. Yeah, yeah, yeah, didn't work. Wow Yo, don't you we we would have to pretend playing Kong down there and then he would have a whole bunch of stuff one year. He bought us all for Christmas Michael Jackson thriller jackets That's hard. Dude. This is the coolest guy in the world was fire. And then one time he was like, I got all the kids shoes He's like, I got you all shoes

Come get your shoes Who is this guy? My grandpa So we all go to get the shoes. They're wrestling shoes. That's super dope They're not He was like, yeah, take them their shoes. I was like grandpa like unless i'm like trying to be like a state champion I'm not gonna even say be a wrestler. He was going straight to the top with the state champion He had like a whole box of like 7 000 watches. None of them worked A thousand keys

Old people love coins and keys. They do. Why do they love? And like pins. They're very yo, they're very uh into pins Yo, pin to pin dope. I like and those little figurines. Yeah, what is that? Those creepy figurines. They love figurines old fucking coins Anything old and metallic. They love they love metallic stuff metal Yeah, I mean because they probably didn't have it when they were growing up. It's like didn't have metal Well, you know when they came up They had they had metal They had metal

Yeah, you know, it was scarce growing up for them. It reminded me of like Oh, this is a buffalo nickel I haven't seen one of these since i was a boy. This is a 1910 They always bring their glasses like down here to look at it too. They're so fucking old like Yo, honestly, hold on real quick. Fuck people that collect stamps Who does I don't think that's a that's a we've retired that I honestly think collecting is one of the coolest and weirdest things a person can do I don't find it weird. So fun fact. We were at a fucking retro video games

It was amazing No, he's telling me I'm like, you know, I just want like I want all these consoles for a collection and now he's just like Yo, that's fucking weird. I don't think collecting is weird. I don't I think collecting certain things is weird Yeah, like why the fuck are you collecting stamps when we have the internet? Yeah, I should have been more specific like weird things. Why are you putting a stamp in a book? Like who gives a shit about this fucking stamp nobody Yeah, I don't and the sad thing is like you could probably auction off a stamp No one's gonna look at your stamp and be like, holy shit

Like I don't give a fuck about a stamp. I really could not care less about a stamp Yo, you know, it's funny when you said that you went to your grandpa. By the way, I just want to tell you like no disrespect But like I would date your grandpa. Yeah, he was cool. All right. He's awesome. He's a good dude. He was great I was good. I didn't want to ask if he was gone. But thank you. No, no, no. He's gone He was a great guy though. The wrestling shoes was great. And then we all had thriller jackets. I'd like to hear I'd like to hear more stories. I was gonna say I'd like to hear more stories from you and Mike about That's great. Yeah, he had a whole basement just full of things Can I ask you a question?

On a scale of one to ten How much do you trust the food in other people's houses? I hate it Zero, you don't trust it. No way. I'm I'm the king of ordering food. Anyway, like if I'm at a friend's house I'll eat out of respect because somebody put time in and cooked at food Yes, yes, but a part of me is going to be like this is going to taste like shit. Yeah, I don't like this I don't trust it. I feel like anywhere I go. I need to bring my food Like I need to bring my own food so I can at least say like I'm having this because I maybe I made it You know, like I got it

We don't know where the fuck that came from like, yo, I hate going to people's houses and it's like Oh, you need ketchup. Here you go. And I'm like I gotta check this date. I don't know what kind of people they are because I've gone in people's houses And I'm like, yo, I just want to let you know like this mail is from like 2003. Yeah. Oh, it's fine That's yo that you know, who's the king of that my dad my dad's the same way He's like, that's the sell-by date. Yeah, you gotta sell. He says it literally says like consumed by Um, I my dad literally at my lake house. I find something old every single time I go up and I just fucking toss it And yeah, that's good though that you toss it furious. He gets so mad at me so mad

And I'm like, it's literally the expiration date was like even if it was like sell-by It was in 2013. It's time to get rid of it. Yeah, my dad does the smell test Oh, like what like I hate it like with cold cuts would be like It smells fine That's good. I'm like, didn't you fucking eat it? It's see if you see which one of us gets sick or the best is like the people that like they'll be mold on something And they'll cut around the mold. Oh disgusting. That is one of the most ludicrous thing. That literally means it's bad Yeah, like oh, just take that piece off cut around eat around it

No, get the fucking thing in the garbage. I'm gonna eat everything else around this whole loaf of bread Yeah, there's other stuff here The other thing too is like eating at someone else's house is always A big deal because it's like I feel every time you go there. It's like Even if I'm hungry, I don't want to eat there because I feel indebted to you now Yeah Now I need it now. I need to get you food. Yeah Like like I feel like indebted now like because like I'm with you

You did me a favor by letting me like you went out of your way to cook extra food for me I don't even really want this and not even that but you took a meal from them Because any leftovers they could have had for lunch the next day Yeah, and it's like I didn't want to eat this in the first place. Yo last uh this tuesday We were at espos place and we cooked some dinner and I wanted more but like I was like I'm taking this kid's lunch tomorrow. That's another thing I feel bad about too is that if I do eat somewhere and I really like the food Is how much of this food can I eat? I'll be honest with you guys

None of those thoughts run through my mind. Oh, no Yo, I'm a conscientious eater. Yeah, I think it was because growing up. My house was the place So everyone came in and had dinner. I didn't really have dinner at anyone else's house. Yeah, I trust your mom, so I I ate at your house. I'm I'm y'all. That's the reason why I have such like trust issues because my mom makes Maggard food and she's very on top of like whatever So I like I'd blindly eat there I don't did I the food was so good when I went there and ate. I did the dishes after yo I had a

Seriously, yo, I had a better chance of like asking my parents to do drugs than asking my parents to like Have people over for dinner. Like if I like mock and so-and-so come over. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, I don't think I've ever had dinner at your house. I don't think I like really. Yeah I don't think at my mom's but like at the lake. We've had like hot dogs. Yeah. Yeah, that's like bullshit Yeah, that's you can't fuck that. You can't well you can trust me. Yeah, like that's bullshit But like asking my parents. I don't know if it's anybody else but asking my parents I have people come over to eat is like a fucking ordeal. Do you know what's even worse than that? My parents were annoying with stuff like that too. Like it's just like oh, you oh my oh

Like it's just fucking food. It's like I have to clean up. Yeah, it's just like we're fucking gonna eat. I'll eat MVP baseball Yeah, just just leave us alone. Dude, you know, it's even worse than that when you had to ask to either sleep over or have someone sleep over Not with you guys because you always discuss the plan with your friend first and made it full proof Like, yeah, like listen, I'm gonna go up there. I'm gonna tell but see we circumvented that whole thing because Damn, that's a big ass word. You like that, right? We even know what it means go around. Um Circumference. Yeah, thank you circumvent just sounds like there's some air conditioning Like you invented the circumcision. We didn't need to map it out because guess who was literally Undefeated at asking people to sleep over Keith. We kept a tally of Keith was like literally like

200 and oh I hit the time he had retired if Keith at we'd be like, yeah I'm like, I want Frankie to sleep over because me Keith had the same friends growing up Yeah, and he was just like And I would be like and we all just kind of like look how you'd be like All right, I got it because like Joey like there was like the one time Where Joey would ask and his mom would have been like, oh no like for x y or z reasons if Keith asked unanimous. Yes We don't always ask my dad and we don't know why and we don't know why we don't know why it happened playing faves

Yeah, maybe But I probably was like a little self-entitled asshole, so they wanted to take stuff from me. It was undefeated like no joke Also another thing I could see like what's the big deal about a sleepover? I you're in charge of another child I can see the big deal of it like if if your kid throws up here or if you know, they're doing fucking blow Fucking take yeah, if like our kids sneak out. They were at my house. You're gonna blame me for having them sneak Yeah, there's there's sucking I get that I super get that like do you think like you're like friends like the parents should know each other I don't think it to an extent. Yeah, I think they my parents don't really know each other

If my kid has friends like that like they don't hate that then they've never like don't like hang out Yeah, but they know each other. No, they know of each other, but they don't like they've never I don't think they've ever spent Like an hour straight with each other. Yeah Really? I don't know. I would have to ask my parents. I don't think so. The fact that we don't even know just shows you Yeah, that's a good point like and they definitely never did anything with your dad No, my dad they've never talked to your dad. My dad Very my dad is the opposite of me like in terms of like social like he just like he's quick He's quick. That's it and doesn't fucking he likes watching people have fun. So where do you get your personality from?

Uh A little bit of my mom, but then also just His mom's more loud and vibrant. Yeah, my mom is the entertainer like out like that's my mom But I think the personality is just he's also just like narcissistic. So like nope It's also just I think it's just like uh our upbringing Yeah, because like your parents aren't super outgoing either like your mom gives them the conversation like yeah, she's no But like there's no one like around no one is like us is what we're saying We're two of a kind the other thing though

No one's parents is are around and like all the time hanging out with each other We didn't though we didn't grow up in the suburbs where it was like Yeah, that's where I grew up. That's why yeah, no, we didn't have that My parents know of people's parents But they don't just like sit there and like hey, so how's it going an hour goes by it's like it's not like that But if you have a kid you want to know where the fuck the kid's staying. Oh, yeah My dad was sleeping at Tyler's house. I'll be like I've never seen Tyler's house. I don't want to know his fucking parents I'm coming over my dad would do that too. He's like, I'm not going he wants to get out of the car

He wants to meet the dad the mom. Yeah, my dad's big question too because he was a fireman But like do you got fire alarms? Yeah My parents I think my dad didn't give a fuck about that, but my mom definitely did My mom was pta president like she knew all my friends and their parents their parents saw him around So it was like more understanding for her but like my dad he'd be like where you're going. I'm sleeping over someone So I thought oh, okay, that's it like I'd be sick. Yeah, but like you know like I just want to make sure like You know, I don't have like two drunk people watching my kids Yeah, that makes sense. You know, that's the only thing. Yeah, like if I don't want to there's a couple needles on the fucking coffee table

Yeah, I come in one of them sleeping on the couch. I'm like, this is a little weird If our parents had ever get your school back if our parents had ever talked to Fucking Finn's parents. There was no way we were staying there. I mean, there was no parents there. Exactly. Yeah Oh, that's that that was like a lot of sneaking out. That's a whole other Sneaking out was the shit I snuck out. I constantly. Yeah, it was easy Once you got to the point too when you snuck out and you didn't give a fuck anymore That's when you really first of all, I I gave a shit. You were you were afraid. Oh, yeah I I walk up the stairs that walk inside. No, no. So here's my argument was just like I first of all

I would go through the basement because I That's where like my room was I never had the privilege. I had to go out the front fucking door. Oh, no I had there were like there like 14 entrances to my house. Yeah, and one back door. Yeah, like that's it There's two entrances to his house, by the way Did I ever get caught? I don't think I did I've never gotten caught. I don't think I did but it's like My mom would have really been stupid to know like not know that it was going on See like when I was like 14 or 15, I used to sneak out and like take like my dad's car Oh the cars were a no-no

I used to take out the car too I mean, I had a license. No, see I was 14 driving the whip around. That's Your nuts. Yeah, I don't know how thick your dick is at 15, but Jesus I don't know what it is. You know, my my brothers did it and I thought I was supposed to do it So like whatever Mike. Yeah No, but I I've snuck out Mike one time. Oh, I'm sorry. Let me tell you this story about Mike in a car Oh god, I just laughed because he's laughing Mike took our car once he had a license at the time But he took a Ford Explorer, right?

License well, yeah, I had a license. Okay. He took a car Uh, which was my dad's and we're all like hanging out at this field at this track So like it was a it was a field and there was obviously a track around in football field and I was like Yo, we look up at the hill and I was like, is that oh, it's cops cops These are oh, we gotta get out of here So I hear like the engine. I was like, you know, that sounds like my dad's car Fucking Mike Comes down in the fucking car

starts driving around the track in a Ford Explorer And every time he's passing us is going Woo He's like you fucking like that drives off drives out of the park Then starts driving on this aqueduct thing And the police find out about it So now they're looking at him And they're looking at the car to be like, yo people reported a car

Of that looks like this to be driven on the aqueduct and they're talking to Mike. He's like, no, it wasn't me The cop looks under the fucking cop looks under the car Just nothing but sticks and pieces of a tree and a whole bunch of shit. My brother fucked the car up Yeah, fuck the whole fucking car up. He's probably But yeah, that's Mike asking about that story. That's so funny. I took my car here, man What the fuck one time I see Michael tell you that story That story's insane I I snuck out I had to go up because my room was in the basement for a while

So I could just leave out the back door. No, no unless they came down, which they never would So I went upstairs got the car keys Then had to sneak back downstairs out the back door take the car then I remember that the fuck's going on. I remember that I had to drive back from Manhattan It was me I think Josh and this girl in the car and we're on our way back to to a to a story. It's always bad news So it's like 5 a.m. Yeah

So I'm like, I don't really know where I'm going like I was like to the girl. I'm like, just let me know what exit it is Because she has probably snuck out many a night. Okay. She's the woman of the night. Yeah, and she goes she goes She I'm like, so just let me know the exit. She goes. Oh the exit's coming up there. It was right there And I'm like, well fuck and then I just drove into fdr traffic So now I got home at like 6 30 a.m. And my mom gets up around that time to go to work So I was like, I don't know like I had to put the car in the same exact spot

I was praying that no one was in that spot. I put it in the spot I got in the house and I snuck upstairs and put the key in the ring And then went back to downstairs and just laid down literally like 10 minutes later I hear my mom walking around you didn't get caught up. No, dude. I never she hears this I never I never took cars. That was like the big I Anywhere I was going I felt like I can just I was I can walk and then also but also like there were times I had to like try to sneak into my house Yeah

In terms of like I didn't even like if we were saying like if I told my mom like I'm sleeping out And then like for some reason I wasn't sleeping out if I go home. I'm dead. Yeah, I was the same way That's harder than I'm dead. That's then the sneak out is the sneak in is impossible Dude, there was one night where we literally it was me and a couple I think impi was there and I think Lawrence and we were like, yo, where are we gonna sleep like fin? We couldn't go to fins. We couldn't go to like your uh, like your place We literally just like this random girl that we had met once at a party like months before we slept in her basement There was like medical equipment. I miss doing weird. We're like, yo, we're gonna medical equipment

This is like like human centipede could happen. So you're like like if we wake up we were joking like we're like, yo I would be shocked if we waked up with both of our fucking kidneys like it was terrifying Did you ever eat dinner at a friend's house and the friend like gets into a fight with their parents? While you're there I've seen that shit is so awkward. That's definitely happened like to my friends with me. I think I I think yeah I've seen it at your house I remember y'all hold on. I remember one time my dad was yelling at me and Frankie was there So and my dad goes Frankie go home go home and then just keeps talking to me and keep yelling at me

And then like Frankie's staying. Yeah, I'm not and then two minutes later Frank. He just turns to Frankie Frankie Go home I was like So I went to the park I didn't even go home because Frankie go home and Frank was just like he I don't know if you thought he was joking or whatever Yeah, I thought I'd always fuck with my friends like that and joke around him, but he was just like he's like Frankie I'm serious get the fuck out of here. I saw my I was eating dinner at a friend's house I'm not gonna say his name on here. Say his fucking name. No, no, no, no, we don't know who he is anyway

I'll I'll show you a picture of him. What is that gonna do for me? I was talking to him. I was talking to him. Okay. Um So like a point I've ever seen the by the way I'm eating dinner at his house And like his mom's trying to talk to him about something and like they're having like a It's starting to get to that point. Yeah, the exchange is getting you can feel it. Yeah Like this is like I'm just looking down at the plate now Yeah, like if I look up and she was like, you know what? his name

You know, I really don't like the way you're acting and he was like you want to know something called her by her first name It was like, I think you're acting like a bitch dead death I literally would have turned my plate over and then walked out. Yeah, I would have I would have I would have Started giving all of my possessions. I didn't know. I didn't I didn't know what to do And this was in front of his sister. How do you not laugh? You gotta speak for him. Like listen, he's just upset. No, that's kind of like what I did. I was like, yo ben Oh, shit

Oh my god, whatever it is 10 million dens. It is whatever you could have played it off like you were just saying Ben or whatever his name is Fuck. All right, whatever He doesn't listen. Are we fixing that in post? No, we're keeping it. Fuck it. All right, cool. But uh Yeah, fuck That was great. But anyway, but anyway, yeah, so it was I was like, yeah, you need to you need to chill out there That is not cool And then they ended up continues and then I ended up sleeping over that night too. Oh, yeah, you're dumb now

Yeah, so I was like I sat through this and now I'm sleeping over at your house There was one there was one time That was great But remember they called their grandmother the grandmother said to them like you're you're eating too many pancakes You're getting fat. You're fat enough. You're fat enough and he goes grandma. You're an old fucking whore. He said that Oh my god And we were all there and I was like in my head. I'm like, this is gonna be great later But right now I need to get out of here. It was fucking crazy. Why did he why did he say that?

I don't know if she even knew it. She was she was like foreign. She had like broken english So she probably didn't even know what he meant But he said he definitely said it. She was here long enough to know what he said grandma. You're an old whore That's what he said to his grandpa I don't know very terrible. Yeah, it's it was that you go to hell for if you believe in hell That's you burn you burn it up. You burn for that that calling someone an old whore your grand your grandmother Who is the mother of your mother or your father? You call them whores. They're intertwined there fair enough fair enough

The only reason I'm here is because you're a whore Fair enough. All right, you you're right. I'm I'm white flag. I give up. That was great I think we should wrap this up. I think we should too before I fucking Said anybody else's name out here. What's your social? Yeah, put it put it out. It's like uh, oh nine nine Jesus That was good. That was too rich. Sorry, buddy. Oh man. That was funny. Sorry ben In case anyone forget just in case you guys forgot what his name is Fuck oh man. That's so funny. Whatever. I can't wait till every ben that you know gets hit with like, you know Did you call your mama bitch?

Yeah, I think I have to unfollow on instagram now because yeah because people are gonna Don't message everyone named ben Yo, yeah, I've called my mama bitch before too, man. Don't worry about it. It's cool So, you know, Danny said you called your mama bitch. That's fucked up man. All right later. Oh my gosh You're ruining this kid's life. Yeah Oh man, I mean, we're digging it deeper now too. Yeah, whatever. Fuck it. Please don't do that. No. Um, anyway, uh, frank Where can they find you? Uh, f alvarez 8085 on twitter and instagram. Uh, you can also Follow the twitch account because uh, joey and I were part of the mf gaming team

You could follow the rest of the mf gaming team at mf gaming team on instagram And you can follow me on twitch f alvarez 8085. We uh, we get a little wild and mad and crazy I mean, you saw yesterday you in the chat. Yeah, make sure you sub. Yeah, and uh, what's up Square circle jerks my wrestling podcast that I that I uh co-host with a couple guys and uh, you can check it out It's fucking super horny. We also just talking about stupidity. So it's not just wrestling Hell, yeah, yeah, Danny Oh, you can find me at danielo priori on instagram and twitter And you could also find me

In your hearts, that's it. You'll always be there In my heart No matter what We say From this day on Now and forever More That was fucking beautiful. That wasn't that bad. Anyway, that is all for this week. So

Oh, no, where can I find you? Oh, you guys can find me on the block. There's obeying the law Hey A real g thoroughbred from the streets paying a second. Where am I gonna? To No, but you guys can find me uh, the youtube channel youtube.com slash the baseman yard for clips from every episode Uh, in my twitch channel is twitch.tv slash. Joe santa. Got to go subscribe or just follow it or whatever the fuck It's called. I don't know anymore. Literally your name everywhere. Yeah, Joe santa. Got to everywhere and that is all Thanks for listening. Bye