The Basement Yard - I Was Involved In An International Catfish Crime

Episode Date: May 30, 2017

On this episode, I have @AntVino & @Dalibrandi on to talk about my catfish story. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome back to the basement yard today I'm joined by two of my friends of course Davino's here no one cares but also Dylan is here hey guys my friend Dylan he's got the best eyebrows you've ever seen yo can I get like a cool intro what do you want to say what does that mean like can I get like music playing like Avengers some right talk to the editable something to be no already you're not talking to the mic I'm so you're going listen I'd like to say one thing I've been working with Dylan for I think nine years now working and this is the best he's ever looked thank you I appreciate it I don't know

what you're talking about that's right I don't know what working is but by the way I just want to let everyone know Davino before we started this was like I already know what I'm gonna say after you introduce us and that was it that was it that was the thing he was cooking up he had like a half an hour to think about it and that's what he came up with I'm also barefoot today thought about that in the Uber did you say I'm barefoot right now my Uber took 35 minutes to get here Dylan I live why probably 10 minutes away that's not true I did uber pool how was that there's two other people in the back what kind of people

were they were they nice people or I didn't speak one damn word to them but the Uber driver kept trying to talk to me and I was like not today he wasn't engaging the other people I was just like I've never done uber pool as ever cheaper it's it's I also have this fight I love thing for like 16 more rides so it was basically free to get 16 rides for $5 for $5 off so yeah why it was free to get here cuz I don't know they signed up for it they came to me in the mail and I said yes you have like a promo code right yeah promo code tell me promo code tell me tell the camera your promo I don't know my promo code

yes he does he does he's told me I got a copy and paste it you don't tell me if your promo code you want my tattoo no I don't want any of that I don't want any of that nonsense what is that well you know not everyone can see it's not everyone's watching this so now tell us about your fucking tattoo it's right here what is it thank God you gotta pay I wasn't gonna ask you gotta pay for that get up your agent yeah dude I'm barefoot right now let me can I see can I it's his house you've seen my feet dog yeah that's good for you are they black yeah they are pretty dark I mean that you know they're dark I just took

a shower me and Dylan we're out on the on the roof today I went to the gym this morning and then I sat in a sauna with Dominic actually and this an old man fat old Greek dude I'm with sweating bullets like you're supposed to sweat obviously in a sauna but this guy was sweating and we were having a conversation or whatever and the guy started rubbing in his sweat like you make a noise did he make a noise no it made a noise like us no it was it was hairy guy did you guys make a little bit not like super hairy I texted Dom in the sauna I was like that was the grossest thing I've ever heard in my life and then he did it again I didn't know

you could take your phone in the sauna I thought I saw condensation so we go to the gym we don't go in the no we don't high fives one more okay my first question is what the fuck was that my second question is how long you guys been dating third question nine years who's pitching who's catching who's the top who's the bottom we switch it up a little bit you guys switch hitters yeah you guys just lefty righty do you guys 69 actually bet lefty I do my girlfriend you don't play baseball what do you mean you bet lefty my girlfriend has a big part of my life but yeah I was drinking guys who are the guests I was gonna say

one beer I don't know what that was but I was gonna say I was a little upset with you today why I came over here to tan like to tan you guys are white as we were we were on the roof for maybe a half hour that's not true that's foul it was at least he actually before we were playing at HL less than an hour I was like no I said like an hour I said like an hour you know wait less than that exactly it was not it was yo if anything it was like 42 minutes yeah and how long have we been here I don't think you get 10 first of all I am shockingly white I can't just go out there the first time and just fucking sit in the

sun like 15 minutes in I give him my son tan lotion 15 minutes and he's like you I'm really burning up like bro we just got out here do I need some time okay I need to like get a good layer and then I could do this but listen I don't even like doing that anyway we're just laying here this kid this kid's a real character next time I come over we got about there a little bit more than tanning salon up there and you want to play Xbox battlefield battlefield first of all he was playing battlefield second of all no other choice damn near died up there I'm not gonna go get second-degree burns on my fucking body

second-degree you're white as a paper how many how many how many songs do we listen to up there for a four song a song is what three minutes long what three minutes three six nights 15 minutes no I'm curious to know what you listen to because don't hear so I had to be ASAP bird no it was a little bit of both all right okay listen I just want everyone to know obviously Dylan's lying and the reason why he's lying is because he had too many Mike's hard lemonade that he brought what are you doing to my house yo you're American Mike's hard lemonade was he drinking right there Joey which is your drink

that's not cranberry juice have a penis inverted waiting for you Mike's hard when you get home and now Mike's easy he's drinking it now I thought that was like great soda or something yeah but let me ask you if you're in a bar you're gonna get a beer obviously but like it tastes so good why drink up a beer like it has girls drink it it tastes like strawberry and like girls yeah am I wrong right it tastes tastes good drink a beer bro jerking off is pretty fun why don't you try jerk off to vino right now you ever tried one it's the same thing what do you want me to do like look oh well you had a sip of it now I'm

in his head he's like oh no but like that to that it's gross it's called put your man pants on put your man pants on the skip what Mike's hard smile it's 12 of them get it if I if I drink two of them I have a fucking ulcer I have like there's so much sugar and sugar acid in a seven there's just battery acid I like six or seven what's the difference between that real lemonade alcohol wow that was a tough question what is that also do you know before we started this do you know started to tell us about a dream he had all this was good kind of like I have a lot you know I have a lot of questions about this yeah

sort of I heard it in the distance but I want to hear like all the details now alright I mean it was a dream it was the end of the dreams alright can we start the beginning of the dreams no I don't remember the other dreams I remember question one question question one what is the dreams yeah what is that you know you have more than one dream sometimes do you remember them do you remember so you had one you basically had one just the end of my you cuz I would know you had more than one yeah if you didn't remember it you had one dream that you were you had one dream I don't know if he knows what's happening but do you get

what I'm saying yeah I do okay but we're talking with a specimen here listen just tell us about the one you remember obviously out of here I don't want to I don't want to know about the ones you don't know about all right all right so at the end of my dream I remember clear as day and it bothers me a lot it does I'm not happy about it it's not it's not a good I don't know what got into me that night nothing happened what did you do the night before would you eat I don't know what did you eat it was it was a couple weeks ago what do you mean what they say if you eat like oily foods it gives you bad dreams here we go who's

they they morons they listen guys is that your old Italian grandfather who doesn't know they they equals the internet all right just everybody knows out there okay so bullshit so that's not true but hey read that on Twitter I mean no no ask jeeps okay now I'm not happy about this I don't want to tell me about it's like a therapy session later on the table so like all I clearly remember is I was with some kid and he went to beat the shit of another kid he were you were with a kid who went to go fight you're hanging out with him yes it's your boy no what do you look like yeah what do you look like no because they say they

say back today I don't know who they are but they say this that every person you see in a dream you have you've seen before yep I remember who the kid was great so did you say words to him was he a blonde no if you were of the gay community would he be a yeah would you tongue-kiss him right no no I have no answers okay fine all right so we were walking towards this kid and he had a bat the kid had a bat the kid that I was with oh you're trying to get the story straight quick question just let me get this out straight we're off to a hot start it started out like you just popped up in a dream it was the end of

my dream I had dreams before that you don't remember them so there was jet skiing we were I don't know what happened with the same kid I could have been high skydiving I don't know you don't remember so it didn't happen I don't remember okay so get into your dream so we were walking and he went to beat the shit out of this kid with a bat with a bat right and he was beating the shit out of him it was clear as day inside I was I was there he was hitting some random kid yeah and he was beating the shit out of him in a parking lot beating this shit out of him in a parking lot were people around and no I don't know

there was nobody around but I remember the kids screaming somebody helped me he's trying to kill me and I remember what he looked like how badly fucked up he was what did he look like I kicked the kid too you hit the kid who's getting hit by the bat I pretty sure I kicked him but why I don't know man what he looked like what did the kid look like I can't believe you kicked a kid you know this is screaming and putting his hand up like somebody helped me he's trying to kill me and then you're like I'll help you and then you kicked him in the face oh it was just and I what did you kick him where did you kick him I don't know

in the shoulder and the shoulder choice not in the face not in the boat like somewhere good but I remember clears it was you're trying to hurt him but you want to take part in it you remember where the kid hit him with the bat it bothers me can we change the subject it really bothers him like I tell he's so did you think about this at work like yeah I've been thinking about it till today has it messed up your work at work ethic or anything no no very good at what I do have you cried not yet who do you tell about this wait what does the kid look like maybe it's someone we know it was young he was a young kid too it

sucks how young I don't know but I remember his voice being young what does sound like try to replicate it how young was he was he was a good he was a good age to get fucked up what does that mean what age is that 14 15 what's a good age to get fucked up he wasn't a kid you said he was young you know you look old enough to get fucked up you said he was a young kid I'm being I'm getting so you okay so what do you say like help me please don't kill me no we have to get to the this is serious yeah like why we're gonna get to why you had this dream it means something right and then I'm gonna call somebody who's a dream

expert you want me call him right now we know we've read the internet they say expert on the line who we don't but I could call a dream expert right now she'll tell me what's wrong who who the fuck are you gonna call it every time I have you've told me who this was really he has yeah he does he's fucking four for four was she predicted fucking future one time I had a bad dream and somebody was giving birth or something right yes and then he told me the story why is that a bad dream isn't that a nice no but they just know the meaning of it I had a dream that me my dad went a car we crashed into a lake and the car filled up with water right and before

anyone could die woke up so that meant something so I texted I was like you know I crashed into a lake she goes always the water black I said yes it was because I remember clear as day it was black she goes it usually means like you're stressed about something a lot or somebody could be pregnant so I text my cousin wait well how are those which cousin what's what's my cousin so if someone's pregnant you're gonna have a dream with black water well no well the color was she asked me what color the water was and I told her black it was like a lake water like dark yeah and she goes it can mean somebody's pregnant and it could also mean that you've been stressing and hell yeah I was stressing

because I wanted to leave my other job I think it's safe to say if you're having bad dreams you're probably stressed yeah and here's another big surprise I think everyone's sort of stressed I had I had this dream I had this dream like two summers ago the same dream like what like three times a week I was losing my teeth I've had that where like grind my teeth and they don't like I would look in the mirror and my teeth would literally crumble like in front of me and what's that mean they say that it means you're like um not in control of something you're losing power yeah see they say you've looked it up all right lost your powers I don't get it no I no Joe no longer had his power yeah I didn't I was you know she couldn't make videos

anymore exactly is that my power it's crazy because dreams make a difference in life because it can mean something dot com are you looking that up now yeah did you can you look up could you look up the uh beating up thing but a bat okay he wrote driving into a lake it says lagoon lake pond it says your emotional depths an emotional issue which you clearly have hopefully the water is clear and inviting no no murky water points to depression or the more emotional issue you can't see through that's divino I think I was breaking up with her face bodies of water and women's dreams are common about once a mother refers to her menses menstrual menstrual I guess it says menses yeah

I also am not a great reader so a drive driving a drove your your motivation what drives you if you're the one driving then you're in control of your situation were you driving yeah wow so you are the one so you actually so you actually almost killed doing your dad good I'm in control I'm gonna drive right into a lake when I get ready what I thought was oh shit someone's gonna die it doesn't mean that what car what car are you in do you know piece of shit it wasn't the time to jump onto your sex drive well I think it was a chum bucket what it says sometimes you can point to your sex drive absolutely nothing to do with my sex maybe your sex drive was going right right into the lake right into a dark we should have looked up

the uh the beating up uh and you look that one up because I'm curious yeah but how but how would you like describe that you can't get up beating a fight but a brutally beating with a bag I don't have cool dreams though like I didn't get up with back that quick he's got it I'll just type up yeah assault yeah assault then battery I'm scared to find out what the deal is right now I'm excited beating this yeah you know this could really destroy Davino's night right click I wrote beating up a kid oh beating beating okay are you beating yourself up nope over something right now nope if so your dream is showing you what you are doing to yourself you're being too hard on yourself did you hit yourself with a bat did you kick yourself or something around you

verbally abusive oh I haven't been doing any of that you haven't done that do you feel do you feel life is beating you down or is there something you are trying to be like an addiction I'm pretty happy right now I have a great job is there something listen is there something you are trying to beat like an addiction or disease I am addicted to something blood tests huh how well you are doing in the fight will show you how well you are currently doing in your waking you you might battle he clearly won the fight he won the fight it wasn't his fight but he kind of was just like I'm gonna be a part of there yeah you know it's not a joke because I think about it every day it sucks yeah you're a bad person that's what all that mean I don't

need the you know I don't need this to know that but your piece of shit I think that's what it means I don't have any cool dreams like that like I have dreams that's not a cool dream Joey at least it's like vivid and there's shit going on it's a movie kind of I've only had night like nightmares that's those are my like most detailed dreams are like I had a dream once did you guys ever have a freddy crew dream no I fucked him up so you kicked him in the shoulder wow you you did you say you kicked him in the shoulder you and your boy hit him with bats is that what happened oh we just fighting always in your dreams you guys go fuck yourself that was a legitimate question first of all when you fight in your dream everything's in slow-motion this wasn't

in slow-mo this is fast actually kicked him this is fast mo so it wasn't slow it was a good kick wait was it was it fast forward was it really fast too fast yo I'm fast forward it was it was I wanted to wake up on the scale of one to ten how good would you rate your kick like a nine I'm not discussing was it a nudge or a cruciano Ronaldo stepped into it free kick no this is a penalty shot it was it definitely was a free kick yeah like a goalie punt what shoes we were in boots are we done your work boots you were like are we wearing Tim's he was what he was wearing his work boots like I can tell his shoulder there he's gonna have a hard time pitching these are nice glasses but yeah I never have any the other day I had a dream so I've literally had dreams where

I'm just like sitting on the couch like I think it's real because nothing exciting is happening nothing like dream worthy it's like me just like hanging out that's a lame dream there's nothing like cool the other day I had a dream though that this is the extent the exciting dreams that I have I had a dream that I was taking a shit and someone walked in on me while I was taking a shit but they walked in on me while I was wiping oh which is one of the look so like do I look at it yeah you have to look at it you have to look at it yeah do you look at it are you looker not while it's in my hand I throw it what do you mean you know you you you look at it you have to make sure wait wait wait wait wait you're wiping and looking before you toss yeah wait told up if

you toss what if it lands on the opposite side well then tough shit so you'll get up so you'll get up what maybe there's shit there still like you have to look you look and then you throw it in I do a good job I'll know if there's shit there I could tell he don't wipe like a girl from the back I don't go that way you dumbass you know what what what they're doing the high fives again who the fuck's idea was this to have these two it's on yo how do you yo you don't look that's why you always smell like shit I first of all I never smell like shit second because I don't first of all I have no bio you have no bio it just smells like air you just if I play a whole game of some blue no I just smell like nothing like a candle I go well my my dick area I can't speak for that

it smells like I'm like my armpits wait let me ask you guys a question do you use a razor do you use a buzzer it depends on the area the area depends on I'm not I'm not I don't razor that buzzer buzzer buzzer down razor top nope everything's a razor what is buzzer down there's bd there's two there's there's there's uh a don't kill yourself ad and uh ud okay above above dick and under it you you razor the top buzz the bottom I use a razor for everything wait you've razor your dick like a porn star yeah yeah you have to do that up the top I gave it up years ago you do the whole thing that's risky come on man yeah you don't want to see that show your fucking I'm good meet miss all I was looking at myself I didn't ask you to invite you so when

somebody walked in on you wiping your ass what did you do I would write like it was the worst because I was like if someone's gonna walk in in on me while I'm taking a shit at least walk in on me while I'm taking a shit and I want a mid-white so now let me ask you were you like hunched like so this is what I was getting into and you I think we've talked about this before on separate podcasts where you know we're talking about the way people wipe and for me I'm a leaner you lean fully over I lean to the side and then I just reach back like this I'm going yeah that's that's so that's how I do it fundamental why you don't look at what you're wiping bro I go like this and then I ditch and then you could look afterwards and be like oh there's shit there and then you

could go again he's why is that crazy wait wait hold up he has to get up he has to get up wait so like okay you lean I lean would you stand up no no one stands up people stand no are any of you guys stand you guys stand no that's what don't you stand okay thank you that's so all you don't get is like it people stand time out so you're supposed to wipe look at it okay keep going and I keep wiping listen you wipe that doesn't make any sense to me though look wait that doesn't make sense if you're if you're gonna wipe obviously there's gonna be stuff there but there as sooner later there's not yeah you and that's what that stuff will still be there that's when you know what do you mean that stuff what's that stuff if there was still shit on there you throw it down and get

rid of it you grab a new one exactly so if you if you you have to look you said you didn't look listen this is the dumbest thing ever there's so many weird things if you take a piece of toilet paper and you wipe and there's shit there you keep wiping right you throw that one away though but like this is disgusting the fact that you're wiping and then just bringing that shit around to your grill you have to you know you wipe and you go okay gotta keep going yeah I'm doing the same thing basically so you're wiping and then going like this yeah like what is that stand a little stand could you replicate that right now yeah this is gonna show us right this is how I wet my ass like this I throw it and I'm just like so you got up off the ball that's fucking oh my

god forbid we do some standing around here listen I'm not the one who kicked a poor kid who was getting hit with a bat listen if this listen fundamental we wipe fundamental if the San Antonio spurs wipe their ass it'd be that way very fundamental completely textbook wiping all right before we move on let's do these sponsors real quick the first one we got this week is blue apron as always it is my mom's favorite sponsor she loves getting free food uh basically blue apron you sign up food shows up to your door in a box and it's all pre-portioned there's instructions step by step instructions on how to make these things so not only do you have a nice meal but you carry that knowledge with you for the rest of your life and you can make things like warm smoked trout

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dot com these days you can practically get everything on demand like my podcast listen whenever you want when it's convenient for you so all right I'm gonna stop doing that uh why are you still going to the post office I have no idea I think that's a dying thing anyway but you know that's just me anything you do at the post office you can now do right from your desk with stamps dot com buy and print official us postage for any letter or packaging using your own computer and printer and unlike the post office stamps dot com never closes and there's not long lines it's just you and your stupid computer so you can get the postage whenever you need it 24 7 I use stamps dot com I used to use it way more like back when I was you know shipping out merch and stuff but

it's very convenient and it's way better than going to the post office and having to wait in those long ass lines so right now use my name basement for this special offer to four week trial includes postage and a digital scale so don't wait go to stamps dot com before you do anything else click on the radio microphone at the top of the homepage and type in basement that stamps dot com and then enter basement never go to the post office again all right back to the show I need more oh yeah here we go yeah just like the vino the first time you hear he gets hammered oh i'm sorry you want more like how does this work you can't leave we can't get up no you're staying here in there I want to see till drinking beer can we get a he has one fill fill it up

beer Mike because somebody passed me a PR PR guy do you give me a beer what does PR stand for PR Randy what does PR stand for uh first of all here's dick personal fucking just one of those I'm good now we need to all right give me a steve I'll take one too yes yes yes I got and we're all drinking beer fill it up to the side this is going off the rails real quick I hope no one who's expecting a good episode because because this is not every day this is not a good episode drink your fucking you know wait hold on so let me let me get a let me get a by the way do do you guys keep toilet paper or baby wipes oh my god when I have to hold the baby baby wipes I usually use them it depends no it depends on what I usually use them at the end it depends on

what kind of shit you take it's all like it's standard in the textbook of shit you're right and never ending wipe oh that's the word when you take a nice dry one wipe in a marker yeah that's when you bring the wipes out you have like it's like playing uh matching fire with fire you know that makes no sense it's like yeah we'll put you know fire fire that doesn't make any sense that doesn't relate to any of this it's wet you throw wet on it you get it all up and then when it gets like drier you throw dry have you ever shit in your pants what was the last time you shit your um wait define shit your pants like I know it you know hold up guys I know a good Joe shit his pants my time because of him

stop I know I don't know no it's true it's true he really did no he really did not you did not no no because I could rewind this to episode six of the basement yard listen and you did not hold on you made it oh you did it went down your hey yo the excuse that he gave him was completely utter bullshit number one this is this is all his fault I've said this before and I'll say it again we were playing basketball and for whatever reason my body whenever I'm playing basketball yo it's a close game it's 1919 game you gotta shit my body's like guess what this game is over we're gonna shit ourselves so I have to go running to the nearest place to take a shit and Davino lived right across the fucking street he really does and I waited because I was like

you know what my friend lives across the street I'm gonna finish this game we lost the game and then I go I'm like yo can I shit in your house I really have to go really bad he goes nah my mom's sick yep does she live in the bathroom why can't I shit in your house just like that made me walk all the way home we were playing basketball on 75th street I live on 43rd street I remember yep and I made it to 46th street that was it was it was a BS story and it came right out my ass just took a nap could you tell everything fell out could you tell him the story you were running with like shit down your leg all right wait can I just say it really was a laundry man at the corner with a perfectly working bathroom I told Joey the laundry man at

the corner which is at the corner he did not tell me it's working go there they're open Joey goes first of all I wasn't friends with Joey back that's what I was friends with Keith that's really what it was his mom was sick now let me ask you a question I didn't like you I didn't I didn't what was it that what was it that made you not want him to shit in your bathroom your what was your mind frame my mom weird like that yo would you take a shit yeah dude people shit it's normal people shit my mom was sick though like she does get sick she wasn't sick she was not sick fucking bite your tongue I she was listen I god bless his mom the nicest woman I know she would have let me she would have if he said mom my mom is like Joey she loves me

no she thought he did crack yes one one one oh they have this handshake shit again she did think he did drugs yeah back in the day she did think Joey the shrooms no I think he didn't she said it was like smoking crack Joey goes you're not my mom goes you're not hanging out with Joey anymore I saw him smoke weed mom what did you see I saw him take the the joint he took a hit the ass to that girl but I was like mom Joey doesn't smoke my dad was like what the fuck he's going on in your head Joey does not smoke he didn't ever not once our dads were friends he was like that guy would fuck him up if he smoked but your mom loves me end of story nope the last time when we went to your house for Vegas his mom loves me right she loves me no one loves you

I don't think so no I love his mom there are letters on my refrigerator from Dylan written by me to his mom it's crazy you know I went and got mom listen you want to laugh it's really weird that's really fucking weird I know what I do love hot moms though okay hold up hope just to throw this in there I went and ate pizza with just his mom one day I knocked on the door he wasn't around I knocked on the door and I was like mom I call her mom she's like what are you doing I was like you let's get pizza so we got I swear to god I got this isn't like this is news to me I'm gonna be honest I'm not being funny for the cameras that's one of the weirdest things we got pizza he showed up and I was in his house I wouldn't go get pizza with my own fucking mom

I wouldn't get pizza with my own mom either but he came to Disney with me my parents love him that's a completely different thing we got pizza he took your mom on a fucking and I didn't even wait did you pay she did and I didn't listen and I didn't she took you I didn't even finish my slice your fucking tongue Joey I didn't even finish my slice it was pretty shitty Antonio's buffalo chicken it was fucking awful you can't go there for that you're gonna go to pizza palace yep good place Sicilian slices one one if you guys do a handshake thing again I'm gonna are you jelly he is jelly get him some peanut butter because he's jelly how long have we been doing this 30 minutes are you kidding we haven't been 30 already

we didn't even get into the the real fucking hurry up go now go we didn't get into the real ass breaker you want me to start it which one what are you talking about what did he what did he do that I don't wait ask him again listen hello is this thing hello wait what are you talking about Joey earth earth to Joe Joey's here I didn't see him Joey's here I don't think he's here it's is where's Keith no I don't know you let me take this over hello welcome to the basement you're how much ADD do you guys my name is Anthony this is Dylan and today we're here to talk about a certain subject that's um hurting all our minds we have a guest here today his name's Ruben how are you all right and um Ruben where you from tell

us Illinois all right he's from Illinois I didn't fly him so I don't know who did we don't know how we got here where's he staying I'm in town he's staying at the holiday in oh oh by uh LaGuardia airport oh good that's a good place because the airport's right there um today we're gonna talk about today we're gonna talk about that's a good thing because the airport's right all right what are you getting at are you talking about aliens oh did someone just say aliens let me know what you have to say about aliens all right listen everybody I love aliens I never met an alien but I'm hopefully I do meet an alien one day Joe could be an alien no I really want to meet an alien because I think they're real I spent a lot of my time

watching conspiracy theories and alien tv shows um like ancient aliens and uh like secret files and stuff he just laughed back there yeah listen if you don't think aliens are real you better come out here now okay I think we're obviously real I think he's coming yeah that's like the insidious movie remember when they knocked on the wall oh we're best friends oh my god in heaven we want to go see insidious together see your year we see scary movies together okay no enough of this all right enough okay can you put that to rest for a fucking minute okay yeah don't worry we do see scary movies together because we are best friends listen we'll do it one more time before the show ends okay cheers okay so aliens no one's drinking on the show ever again all right now Joe let me

can I ask you a few questions now sure head sure head sure head yo we only have a mic stand wait we only have 10 minutes no we only have 10 minutes shut up all right can we go forever what's the one in the middle for Davino I'm going to beat you with this fucking microphone speaking of forever the universe expands basically for forever right there's no it's always expanding there's no end to the universe it keeps going and each planet and like solid mass spreads apart with it so think about it the universe will go on forever and you have so many solar systems and so many galaxies that like aliens if you do the math it's impossible for there not to be aliens really like think about it I don't think there's any math there's either there is math you multiply

galaxies times habitable planets around suns and it's like it's called the Goldilocks zone you ever read Goldilocks and the three bears great no it's a real thing it's a really thing it's real okay you ever read Goldilocks and three bears yes okay one of the beds was was too hard one of the beds was too soft and it was just right just right that's um the okay say this is the earth this is the sun the space between it's just right it's habitable okay it's called the Goldilocks zone planets within their their sun or their biggest star it's just right for life and there's so many of those that we that we know of and there's probably a lot more that we don't know of it's called the Goldilocks zone do you think that there's humans or just different kind of I believe well there

could be humans not you won't advance life forms like humans yeah I believe that there's more than one like if you were to take your telescope and look in the sky that way it goes on for forever so there's a bound to be something living somewhere down there like Peter and then if you take your your uh your telescope and look down it goes on forever it's bound to be something out there and if you take your telescope and look at it you get them saying yes there's not what just one advanced life form out there there's probably a bunch that we do you think they're mean um yes no we're mean we're not they were mean they wouldn't I feel like what do you mean they're mean they could have they could have came here already and showed how mean you don't know if they could get

here though that's the thing I wouldn't I think they're more advanced than we had you don't know that you only think that because you've seen individually think that because you see oh are you a fool in the sky like Will Smith killed a bunch of aliens I think I can Will Smith was an electrician Will Smith was also Muhammad Ali he's done a lot of good work he has you know there's also a homeless guy who got a job interview but his kid and he also saved the world with Suicide Squad did he oh he was also the last man on the world and um I am legend he did do it right now should we do not okay shot a dog though that was fucked up yeah I had to because we're gonna kill him we don't speak of that no yeah that's fucked up we don't kill dogs anyway but yeah aliens are like I believe

that aliens are real if aliens don't exist may god give me a heart attack and I'd be striped by lightning right now knock on wood knock on wood Joey everyone knock on wood thank you I'm alive still all right I did knock on wood why do you have to go and say that anyway hold on before we get completely off the rails with this fucking alien shit I wanted to talk about uh this story that happened to me um so that no one no one really knows I don't even I don't know if you guys is an alien related no it's it's about someone basically catfished someone else with my pictures and it was like a crime like she was bribing them she was extorting them some girls on like suicide watch so so for the the people like I don't I really you've told me

the story at least 10 times I still don't understand it because it's hard to okay I'm trying to get a right so I just want to get this straight with everybody they used your picture they posed as you they didn't pose as Joe Sanagato but they used my picture to pose as someone else right so they took a fake name with your picture right okay so let me tell you what happened so there was a whole story on 2020 some people treated me like oh my god I saw your picture that's fucking cool but every time they they asked me to do an interview or something I'm always like no because I don't want to be a part of it really and like a national do you say no or you kindly say yeah like I can see a dickhead like fuck no or like I'm okay leave me alone you fuck or like I'm really hungry right

now my mom made ravioli or like fuck no or do it what yeah fuck no all right all right there it is okay so was it like that or like I want to hear the story yeah wait first tell us how you apologize to them what do you mean how you apologize who show is this divino do me a favor shut the fuck up for just two and a half minutes finish your story that'd be amazing so anyway I get uh Eric calls me one day and he goes yo I got a call from a number and it was a woman saying that you were the victim of a crime and I was like you were or he was no that he that I was they had that happen I don't know they left my voice millions at work so I was like I don't know what that is just ignore it whatever he's like all right yeah I didn't know what it was probably some spam shit so then the the

my house phone rings and I didn't we never pick it up because who the fuck is going if it's on yourselves for you yeah yeah so we let it go off and some lady was like hi my name is whoever uh with something with Canada basically the Canadian FBI I don't really I forget the name I had no idea the Canadians at FBI it's something like that do you think yo I think the FBI is worldwide do you think Canadians talk like south like flat south park like I thought that's what they did okay so she calls my house and leaves a voicemail and I'm just like I'm not answering this like it's weird so then I'm downstairs and then my phone my house phone rings again and my dad's upstairs and he picks it up that must have been the greatest conversation so I wish I was there for that the greatest

hey bitch what do you mean what are you talking about who's Joe who who's Joe the phone rang and I got scared because I was like a crime did I commit a crime she said I was a victim of a crime so I was like confused so she calls and then my dad picks up after one ring and I was like scared and then all here is uh Joe you want to come upstairs these chicks need you yeah these broads I get on the phone with this woman and she starts telling you about this whole story so basically there was this girl in Canada and she had a fucking web of lies going on she was posing as Chris Anderson Birdman from the NBA great play she was posing as this girl uh Paris something I forgot but she was posing as her and then she was posing as me but not you right but not me so she the name she used was

Tom Taylor which is the name of like a professional that's your new name by the way yeah I'll take it Tom Taylor posing as this kid named Tom Taylor who's like a professional gamer or something and she was using my pictures with my with my uh pictures she was in a long distance relationship with a girl who was like from where 17 or 16 in Arizona I watched the video okay so listen listen the girl was shut the fuck up she was in Arizona I thought she was and she was extorting her this that wasn't the girl so she was extorting her and was like oh send me money send me this send me that and the girl's like yeah to the girl send yes but she was posing as Tom Taylor as Tom Taylor was telling this poor girl like send me money and she did and she was doing it because she was like

16 and she was stealing from her mom and pointing to send the money to send stuff cell phones mind you this girl sent me a cell phone once not the girl not the girl she was posing as someone and she's like so no she was she was as herself the girl who's doing the catfishing was following me on twitter and as herself as her actual self as her actual self she was like oh my mom works for apple look at all these phones that I have I was like and she just sent you one without your consent nothing the only reason why she was able to contact me is because I DM'd her because randomly in a p.o. box I got a giant hoodie and like a note that so you have to I followed her and I was just like hey thank you thank you yeah thank you yeah so I said you don't have to do that so then she's

like oh I got this phone do you want me to send you a phone and then I was like no no no don't do that whatever and then she's like would you be mad if it's only already on its way and I was like fuck so I mean sure enough there was a brand new phone that I ended up using like for the next year or whatever which is probably not the smartest move tracking my every move is this person in jail yeah well they are for good no they're out now you think they'll be you could be listened to think they'll be watching what's the name you know the name I know her name I'm afraid to say and I don't know I don't do that fuck that but I really want to know the name how old is she probably like she's all she's older I think she's like in her 30s can I just say what pleasure do

you get out of very strange doing that because like all right I'm gonna pose as this person this person and make them send this I feel like it's something something that they lack within themselves that makes them do it are they bored to have a job it's not even being bored she has like a condition where she doesn't like like to leave the house at all so she's inside her house all the time there you go that there is a very small so let me ask you a question I know you probably know more about this than we probably do what uh what usually leads to catfishing is there like something there has to be something that triggers it can I say something I think it's just like a hobby you ever like fuck around and like yeah but no not really I know it's a kind to take it to that

that's me something out can I voice my opinion because I think it's like like um you see somebody do it you hear about it you hear about catfishing and then one day you're bored like I'm just gonna try it like a little bit I'm not gonna go crazy but then you get crazy yeah but then you keep going and then it leads to but then you're in a fake three-year relationship with somebody it happens people like pretending to be other like it's like people love Halloween because you get the dress up and as someone you're not yeah exactly so is that what it is you want to be something you're not I think it's fun to some people to a certain extent but I also think like so people get off by it it's weird it's very strange okay like someone else so after all right so hold up after they called

you so they called me and they were like you know they were explaining everything to me and I was just like wow what the fuck is going on because the girl when they found out the the people from Canada you know contacted the girl in Arizona and she was like distraught she was in a four-year relationship that was the girl that was the victim but that specific girl that was specifically she was stealing money and the girl Paris was like insane like there was like threats of murder and so that was the girl wait that was the girl in the video right yeah this was actually Chris Anderson actually and it was that girl posing as so what she did with them too she made two accounts one pretending to be Paris one pretending to be Chris Rose uh wow Chris Anderson his friend

and no was pretending to be Chris Anderson pretending to be Paris and then we're catfishing each other each others yeah hold up time out yeah you didn't watch we had a double catfish here double catfish because remember when they met up and they were like wait what are you talking about yeah they were saying no and they actually met each other she wait wait wait yeah Chris Anderson picked her up she met her fake self and catfished herself no no no listen listen like the real picture Davino stop I'm sorry the girl right she set up a meeting between the two of them but she was she had been talking to both of them as each other you know what I mean so Chris Anderson spoke to Chris Anderson no no no no no I know I know I watched the video the fake

Chris Anderson was talking to the real Paris and the fake Paris was talking to the real Chris Anderson so there's a real Paris yes and she was talking to the fake Chris Anderson and then the real Chris Anderson was talking to the fake Paris hold up time out can I give this person credit for pulling this off honestly it was really that's fucking great yeah kudos to you and then and then he was the girl was playing as his best friend remember like and yeah his friend like what are you guys doing and like you know she she so they she scheduled a meeting between the two of them and they actually hung out but when they were having conversation they were like oh you remember you said this and he's like no yeah so it's like it was weird like wait wait hold on okay wait wait

they actually met up too the how do I know how this happened the fake the fake person made plans with the real person and the real person made fans plans the fake person and then the real somehow the two real ones yes yo it was crazy hey are you you know wait what they had it was there in real names but like it wasn't them but like yo but they never had conversations and they're like that was the first time they actually had a conversation you didn't watch the video is great I'm completely mind-fucking I know but listen listen listen yo that's really wait time out it's wild but that's like a the fact that you could pull that off it says a lot about you like you're like she was strategic you think that person was extremely strategic she needs a government job

just like catch me if you can Frank Abagnale he became he was working for the FBI but he was a criminal but he was a bad guy but he was a good guy so we can call her Frank Abagnale yeah all right Frank Abagnale so when they called me and they're telling me all the stuff I was like oh holy shit but then but then they were like we need you we need to get like a deposition from you right because I need they need to submit me as evidence so I had to go into the city and meet up with these two officers in a like a technically a Canadian built embassy like I had to go through like an air tight door over like it's like technically now we're on Canadian grounds it's an embassy yeah so it's like technically we're on Canadian grounds right now so they're able to interview me

sat in this room as I'm walking through this door I'm like what if they think it's me you know what I mean and they were just like trying to get me here like those thoughts are running through my head like I could not eat for two days so what did you do like I just went there could you talk about what happened in there yeah right yeah like they just interviewed me and asked me like my interactions with the girl and you know did you uh did you ever see these pictures and because they were there were um the girl who was in Arizona was like sending naked pictures and she's a fucking minor so like do you do you have these pictures like does she ever email you or whatever and I luckily I never got any of she never for bed holy yeah she never sent me that no I never

got catfish she I was talking always to the real person but she was using but she was using me to to do that to them so thank god that happened but they were just asking me if I knew all the stuff and I told them my experience and you know she's like do you know about this and no I didn't know about that and they were kind of explaining the entire thing and I was you know I was so scared the whole time they're like okay and then just lock me up and take me to Canada like I was just like fuck like I was so scared it was so weird the guys were actually really cool they were like the nicest dudes in the world obviously they didn't make it uncomfortable or anything no they were really cool I the guy emails me all the time about hockey because he he actually came he the

and it was like a month after that like I had to sweat this out for a month because he's like yeah we're gonna come to New York and you're gonna have to meet us in the city and like talk to us and I was like I'm getting arrested like I didn't do anything I don't know you know like I didn't know like what the fuck I was like maybe I did something wrong I don't know like yeah so we're loophole if Joey got arrested will we break him out yeah 100% I would be in that I would lose my life for that he'd be out already that's a good story we wouldn't have been able to have this podcast but he'd be out but we'd be chilling Davino would have kicked everyone in the fucking shoulder yeah Davino would have kicked everybody in the shoulder I would have fucking sat there watched

them what a bat and a mic's hard yeah they say oh the same mic's hard it's not as good house beer it's very good um IPA wait I was gonna say something don't I think I was catfish remember the girl with the ranger tickets listen this kid was getting catfish for her for how long I want to say a couple of weeks and we're like best friends so I was telling him the whole time yo you're getting catfish no what the fuck bro you told me no she got you ranger tickets bro no dude I really want to I want to do it I'm 99% sure you said yo dude she you're gonna go she got you tickets for the long time she swore she got me I'll get up I'll leave I swear I gotta leave I'll go home she said you can't talk over each other the entire time I'll go home I'll go home listen I'll go

yo I was telling you the whole time prove prove it I said yo tell her to send you pictures okay let me send tell her oh I ripped them up she said it was fake the whole time yo she sent me ripped up tickets I sent the tickets to Dylan and I love them up that was Drake's fucking concert like months ago because he read the tickets I was like so who was so what do we just say who was right who called it catfish Dylan you know you call someone's bluff you could call someone's catfish we got to get Neven here to call everybody's catfish what about that that hairy ass chest what was that show called catfish to catch a predator that's the Chris Hansen yo Chris Hansen remember we used to watch that show in the summer back in 06 stop talking over each other

time out time out like two months ago I was at work I work in the city by the way I could have sworn I saw Chris Hansen and I wanted to go up to him and say yo Chris what are you doing here Chris Hansen I'm a huge fan bro like we got to be out here catching predators but I was too afraid it wasn't him you know if I ever see him I'm just gonna go why don't you take a seat why are you doing in this house like why don't you take a seat what were you gonna do with those condoms a naked ass dude stay here remember that what brings you over here he's naked why are you naked I was just trying I was gonna talk to her I was just gonna you drove four hours to talk to her yeah you know I brought a pizza somebody I brought a pizza he's

naked yeah so wait you said in this conversation you you had condoms what do you what are you what are you playing on doing with those I love that because the guy's denying and he's just like okay okay the guy's like the guy thinks and he's like yeah I'm good I'm good and then he goes well I got the transcripts and uh are you a lover boy one two nine he's like yeah that is me that is me and he's like um it says here can you lick my ass did you say that I don't do you like it hard and it was like I don't remember if I did I I don't know if I yeah I might have said that then you said do you do anal did you say that also the best is the best is when the guy walks in the room in some like some like detector screens out oh yeah I'll be right there I'm just getting

dressed yeah you know I'm like like dumb one guy got smart one guy got smart walked in the girl's like yeah I'm trying to get something real quick and then he just goes he was like smiling and like whatever he's like I shouldn't be here I shouldn't I'm gonna leave I'm gonna leave right now he probably arrested him you know there were guys that watched the show that got caught I know you're like yo I saw this he's like I know he's like I know who you are I know you are that's great I know what you do you know they brought that back right no if you type in um it's not it's not just make a movie of montage I would go watch I pay money I don't even like going to movies when he walks out of the back and he goes hey hey how are you he always has a fire line he sits there so what brings

you here today no no it's always like the wind blowing he always uses he always uses whatever line they use like the guys like oh I brought some chicken sandwiches and he comes fine I know he's like oh I love chicken sandwiches how you doing have a seat right there so how long did you say your tongue was sticking out yeah something crazy like that yeah the best I was like I just can't wait to hug you I love a hug how are you doing have a seat right speaking of hugs speaking of hugs but he says you want to hug her asshole what's that if you search uh like I think it's called Chris Hansen verse predator on YouTube it'll pop up it's new oh there's highlights everywhere it's great no I'm saying it's newer one the new ones he still does it yeah he did like uh it's

incredible like like eight uh like say you go to a gas station or like a drug store and buy a lottery ticket and you win and you hand it to them they somehow like forge it to where you don't win and they hold that ticket he was doing that after he did to catch a predator he did that where he would catch people scamming like that and they would like find you and stop like selling giving you the store lottery tickets so he did that for a while you can search that too it's cool I'm a huge Chris Hansen no captain planet yeah gets it all done basically I'm catching everyone no one's fucking safe I'm surprised Chris Hansen didn't have a hand in this yeah like where was Chris wow I can't believe that it says here she's 16

dude it sucked I just I emailed the guy today because I was like can I talk about this and he's like oh I'm sorry to bring this up but because he's a hockey fan yeah what team something can just what just talk yeah anyway we're gonna wrap up here anyway uh wait wait before you do okay one two three uh can we like finish with like a like a we can we can shut up like a like something good we need to go around the room get over here get over here no stop can you stop stop shit fuck jesus where's mike where's mike somebody crushes where's the pr got somebody where's the pr shut the fuck up where oh my god he opened the pr please stop I'm trying to end this all right guys we're gonna wrap up uh if you're not signed up for full screen make sure

you wrap up make sure make sure you sign up go to fullscreen.com slash basement yard put in the promo code basement you get a free month and then it's only six dollars after that just six divino where can they find you Joey before I get into that how much is minimum wage just shout somebody out who I miss you Frank how much is minimum wage 1175 six dollars 1175 just say where Joey one time no mom you can find me at antmino for everything and Dylan where can they find you it's uh see this is where I get this he's weird this is where I get pissed where my twitter handle and my instagram is not the same they're not explosive o3 that's no it's explosive o4 that's my xbox gamer tag so if you want the goods in hl come fucking see me okay come fucking see me um nah

but uh well should I give him my twitter instagram I don't care twitter instagram is cooler you give me a like so it's d underscore alibrandi al i b r a n d i come holl at me uh and also on the extra yard we're going to be playing a game that's going to be funny oh god you know what maybe it's not going to be funny I can't stand the two of you anymore it's just out of control we need to turn on the ac in here too because it's hot as fuck but sign up for full screen and whatever we'll see you guys next time