The Basement Yard - If I Were A Girl..

Episode Date: July 9, 2018

On this episode, @DannyLopriore & I are talking about calling the cops, boobs, wieners, & other mature things. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard today. It's me and Danny. We're back back Sorry, it's okay No episode last week. No people were we're losing it. Listen. I was getting it on social media I was getting it too people were spitting at me on the streets. Listen. Let me address that none of that happened Let me dress. Yeah, first of all, yeah, I was in Italy for two weeks, right? It was a planned trip for a long time Yes, right. Yes What I was going through obviously, yeah, I didn't know if I was gonna go or not gonna go So it was kind of last minute that I decided to end up. I said, you know what? I'm gonna go on this fucking trip

Yeah, so I went and it was July 4th and We didn't want to put out something that wouldn't have been good. Yeah, we only want the best for you I also had someone lined up, but it ended up not working out Schedules and it fell through at the last second. So I was like, I don't want to like rush and like do my own thing No, so that's why it didn't happen. We only want the best of the best for you Yeah, to be honest, I have, you know, a different kind of question like yeah, that wasn't an episode out last week But why are you wearing a Versace robe right now? Oh, you noticed It's fucking screaming at me. It's like bright gold. It's got Versace written over it a hundred times. Oh, yeah

Is it comfy? It's fantastic. Yeah after this, you'll try it on. I think during this. I'm gonna try it on Yeah, I think you should I think we should swap it just to see I Put it on I feel so rich when I put this on Yeah, and then I look at my bank account and then I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Not really, right, but no, it was this is the first thing I bought when I went to Italy I walked we were all we were walking through Milan and my girlfriend was just like, oh my god This is so beautiful. I was like, yeah, the Versace story looks amazing So I just wanted to get the fuck in there. Yeah, I just walked in there

And then I was just like hey, do you look for anything? I said, yeah, you got that in black And they were like, yeah, I said, can you bring it out? I tried it on said I'll take it Damn, and then it just posted up hard snap the couple pics. My Instagram game was hard, dude There was a lot going on. There's a lot going on Versace D Versace D Louis VD too. Yeah, Louis VD Louis V Some Gucci actually VD is not good. No VD is never that's venereal diseases. No, we don't want that venereal diseases To be honest, I don't know what that means. I don't know what it means either Venereal sounds like something in the sky. So I don't know like, yeah

An aerial disease like aerial vagina air. Yeah, it's like a vagina. It's airborne and airborne Airborne vagina that is disease. Oh my god. Listen, I don't want to deal with that. Yeah, what's vagina start flying I don't know if I can handle any of this speaking of flying. Yeah, I Both flights were like nine hours trash trash. I can't do. Can you sleep on planes? No me neither You want oh, you know what I fell I hate when people do that. They're like, we don't sleep. Yeah, just sleep Yeah, there's a fucking jet engine next to me. It's fucking loud as cocks. Yeah, just go to sleep You're 40,000 feet in the air In a cylinder at any moment if a bird hits this engine, we're all going down

You feel good now go to sleep. Yeah, also somebody passed out on my flight coming back What do you mean like just fainted fainted nice fainted. Yeah in their seat. No walking. Oh nice fainted and All you hear over the intercom is Yeah, we're seeing if there's a doctor on board One of the passengers has Had a situation if there's a doctor on board, please meet us in the back part of the plane Did you go? I? No, no, no, but in my head I go

Shouldn't there be a doctor on every plane? Yeah Wait, I don't know if we could do that Why not because I don't think we have like a just a surplus of doctors that we could just send them on flights and just Hope it could be like a physician's assistant Like somebody that knows like if your blood pressure would be bad or like if you're if it's your blood sugar or like you're having something bad Yeah, what happens if it's all like mechanics I don't know about cholesterol, but if you got a fucking leaky faucet. Yeah, I could take it out I could take care of that. Yeah. Yeah, this dude's dudes now look so hot. He's fucking. He's so pale. Shit

I don't fucking know it was weird though. Like I was like I really hope there's a doctor and then a part of me was like I could play the doctor. No, you couldn't yeah, I couldn't what are you fucking Frank Abagnale you Fake it and That was amazing by the way, and yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's one of the most amazing stories It's one of my favorite movies, but the other thing That's terrifying by the way. Yeah. Yeah, Italy was amazing. Yeah, I'm ever going a trip. Yeah, go there to Italy You'll fucking love it I remember you sent me a video of you like I'm like, yeah

What are you doing right now? And he sent me a video of him on a gondola this guy behind him's in like a fucking striped shirt singing Italian songs and It's just it's ridiculous. Yeah I can't believe that's real. It's almost on Venice is almost unreal place It looks like when you go to Disney World, and it's like a ride. Yeah, it's like all this is Italy land And then you get on a gondola that's on a track. Yeah, and the guy literally guys pushing boats, dude He was fucking jack too. Was he? Yeah. I mean gotta be jacked. You know they're oaring. What's the word rowing rowing? Jesus Christ

Oaring okay. It was a long weekend a lot of Sun. Yeah a lot of Sun a lot of Sun for you Yeah, but yeah, Italy was good the flights were both good Since my hand is broken. Yeah I was able to get like carded through TSA. Oh my god. Yeah, so I had I was able to Why the fuck do they put you in like a wheelchair? Yeah, you throw the limp game on a little bit I broke my hand. My leg doesn't work. No, where's that add up? I throw the limp on as soon as I get into there. So once they saw the cast on my arm Oh, we gotta get this guy. Oh, we gotta get this guy to TSA. You don't feel bad. No piece of shit

No, not at all They work for us For the TSA it's government salary. It's what we pay our taxes for you better scoot me through that goddamn line I broke my hand. You think I could just walk around with a broken hand? Yes. I can't carry this bag Look at my hand, but uh if you go anywhere go to Italy a lot of panhandlers But their panhandle game is way more gangster. I you sent me a picture of a guy He's like playing a flute bouncing a plate. I'm like, what is this guy? There was guys playing

Accordions everywhere and they literally follow you around while playing an accordion until you like throw them change That's far. It was awesome. That's like Assassin's Creed. Yeah, and then I was walking And then I was walking down I remember in Rome I was walking down an alley and they were just playing the Godfather theme like an orchestra was playing it I'd be afraid. I was getting shot. Yeah. I was like am I gonna die here? Is this where it ends? Yeah? Yeah, I was like down. This is over pretty good. Pretty good way to go out though Pretty good way to go out. Yeah, that Euro fucks you up though because that what cuz there's like the Currency difference. Yeah, so like shit's mad expensive

Yeah, yeah, but I'm gonna fuck some ball in our control. So I Mean, I don't know about all that. I mean, I know about I think you're balling like in control I'm balling like is as close to being out of control as possible. You're your fringe. Yeah fringe balling fringe balling Not yet out of control That's a slippery. Yeah fringe balling. That's the only is a slippery slope though Because you're certain. Yeah, you're right hemisphere. Your brain is like dude. I'm balling. Yeah, your left half's like we're gonna have problems in a month You know you have rent, right? I've always yeah, but it doesn't count when you're in a different country. You're like, I'm not home

I have this is not my money. That's what it is. The money's not real. You feel like you don't yeah Euros this isn't my money. No, I have dollars. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, so I always told myself I wanted a Versace rope For years I've wanted one so I went in there and bought it and then I've always wanted a Louis Vuitton wallet So I got it. So just in case you lose your wallet It just makes it that much worse. No, I got one of these things from Amazon called that the tile I got one of those but they don't really like work. Oh, great I got one for Christmas because I lost my wallet numerous times. My sister's like use this. Yeah, and then like it It wasn't really it's not that good shit. Maybe I'll return it. I don't know try it

I mean, maybe it works for you. Maybe I fucked it up. Maybe it works for you. What is a medication? I have some reactions to it. So I don't I don't know I had a rash Would you you're not a big vacation guy, but I would say For you. Yeah, I think that you would have loved like the culture and The people it looked beautiful. Yeah, and the art and you do like Over the last couple of months like I've tried to be like a little less like play play video games a little less like I've been Mad out there. I've been mad stimulated and mad dormant for years. Yeah, so like I was just like let me try like Mad dormant, you know what? I mean? Yeah, I went from 270. I'm like 230 now

That's which is crazy 40 pounds of 40 pounds. Yeah, just straight burly and straight beer cholesterol. Yeah, but uh Dude, I was walking six seven miles a day out there. I thought I was gonna die every day Yeah, but um for you somebody like you you would love it there. I probably would if you went for a week I'm not going anywhere for a week. That's out of control. See that's why like your brains way to What do I call it of the cerebral ganks there? Yeah, you like you'd be thinking too much about like work and stuff Like I was thinking about work every day there I'm trying to I'm trying to do that differently because I have been in that mode for so long That I'm like, I just don't fucking care now

Like I like I need to care less because I think about it so much But I feel like a part of that makes you who you are. Yeah, I know But I feel like I don't have to care as much like not that I have to not that I don't have to care as much But I like when you're in situations like I definitely need to get out there more, right? You know what I mean? Like I need to I need to travel more because yo I I I'm young and I have the means to do so and I don't and like What the fuck am I doing? I look at it like this. It's like, why have you worked so hard the last exactly years like You know like not do one thing that's like cool. Yeah, and and like you go to Vegas and stuff

Yeah, cool in Miami, right? You went to Miami like Miami's awesome But I think like you owe it to yourself like spiritually and like culturally to just go see something that's completely out of your Yeah, like your your uh, I'm trying to I'm trying to do more of that too like this whole weekend I was in Connecticut for 4th of July and my phone was off the whole time. I had to be that had to be amazing Yeah, I mean and no part of me like missed it. Yeah, like it was just like whatever I don't I don't care. I think I mean from the time that I've known you and we've worked together I think you've you've grown in both Areas of that though. What like you're willing like you can work hard of it anybody. I know

But you also have a good schedule in terms of like you have a life Yeah, I'd like now I'm getting way more into that now of being like dude get a life Yeah, because I spend so much time just thinking about All right, what piece of content am I making out of this or whatever and like I just want to do less of that Like I still want to make content, but I just don't want like the podcast is great. This is great content I love doing this shit and it's easy. Yeah, and it's not really me having to sit and think and construct It's just like just fucking do it, you know and I want to do more of that instead of like thinking and writing and like Because I spent too much fucking time doing that and when I'm away from it

I want to be completely away like I don't want to think about it. I want to turn my phone off like I don't want to fucking talk to anyone I just feel like a part of you enjoys the grind which is a very rare trait You have a rare trait that like you're willing to work harder than anybody else Um, I just think that like you got to take a little more time for yourself Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna do that. All right. You said fucking Sexy fuck What?

Nothing. I don't know what I said. I said something I heard something. I heard something That's a lie anyway Yeah, yeah first actually speaking of lies though. Yeah Is it is that a real k to lie? What like is it okay to like tell a lie sometimes? Of course Yeah, you got a lot. What do you think people out here not lying?

It's listen, you know, it's crazy about lying Everyone always talks about you're a liar. I can't don't they're a liar Don't talk to them. They're a liar. Don't lie to me. Yeah, we're all out here lying everyone's lying All like literally they're not a day goes by without lying and if I do go a day without lying something's up If you think about it, you probably do lie every day Yes, I've it's what time is it 11 o'clock? I've lied maybe 10 times today and where do the term white lie come from I don't know It's like it's a little white lie. It sounds like a white person thing. Yeah, it was a white lie

It was a white line. It was a little it's a little white lie. I apologize for that little white What is a white lie? It's just like a lie that doesn't what is that? Well, it's like a nice lie It's like a lie like say like your hat Yeah, if you're like you like this hat and you go, yeah, dude, it's great. Yeah, it's great If I don't like it, I'm not gonna go out of my way to be like, no, I don't like it. See I'm the I'm different I want you to tell me dude. What's with the bicurious orange? No, but I I don't mind I don't mind it. I like the hat say you can go middle ground and say you don't mind it I do that when I don't like things. I'm the same way. I go. I mean, I you know

I do that too. I mean, you know, yeah Yeah, I could it may be another time. It's not at the moment. I'm not feeling like it's different season go for it Yeah, like this pull you pull it off. Yeah, I think one too. Yeah, I mean you looks great on you Like I couldn't do it. I couldn't I you know, I just my complexion. Yeah, it doesn't work with just doesn't like me and orange Don't get along, you know, but like it looks good on you though. Yo, you know, who's the best at first of all yo girls lie Uncontrollable it's kind of insane when it comes to that how much because with dudes

It's like, you know, you like the shirt like dude that shirt fucking blows. Yeah, no one's over like no Looks good, you know Girls it's just like crazy when that compliment circle starts. Yeah, it's over. Oh, where did you? Oh my god. Yeah, I also feel like girls are more willing to throw out compliments Like for no reason Maybe like you look so cute in that like angry compliments. Yeah, it's like, oh my god. Yeah, you're fucking. Oh, you're a bitch Oh my you are you're killing you're you're bad. You're a bad bitch They do do that, you know, and I feel like girls are so no, but it's I also I love it

I think it's great. Yeah, because like that's good. Yeah, that's helping somebody sell someone. Yeah, man We just tear each other down. There's nothing, you know, try dude. You look fat as fuck in those dreams I Literally said that's a good idea. What size fucking waste to you now fucking 38. Jesus. It's like dude You're really letting it go dude. You let it go and it's so funny how guys come to you like to be like, yo I like to be honest with you. It's just like Letting yourself go a little bit. I love when guys try to be nice Yo, but dudes they try to be nice, but they don't even realize how fucking like insulting they are

Dude to be honest with you and listen. I'm I'm one of your good friends. I'm your friend. I'm saying this cuz I'm trying to help you. You're fat as fuck There's no There's no like sympathy in the part Where they're saying what they have to say because I feel like we didn't learn they justify it with nice stuff It's like, listen, you're a great guy. I love you to death You're ugly as fuck. Yeah, if if your guy friend comes to you and it starts out with I'm only telling this because I love you It's about to be the worst. It's what you've been thinking about for the past two months. I listen. I don't want to tell you this

Yeah, you're fucking balding. All right. You're you're losing it. You're losing your hair. What's going on with your hair? Like it's over here like It's all patchy. Just cut it off. Yeah, just take it. Take it off. Take it off. Take your hat off Take your fucking hair off. Take your fucking hair off But with girls they have they have excuses for everything. It's just it's just beautiful lying. They're beautiful liars Incredible liars. Yeah, like when a girl starts putting on weight. Oh my god, bitch. You're thick. Yeah, and shit killing them. Yeah It's great I also think men we're like we're not we're not very like trained to give compliments really to our guy

To our guy friends growing up. Yeah. No, I was in competition with all of them. Yeah, because realistically at no point We're all in competition with each other. Yeah, which is weird. Well, like I mean for the most part All I did growing up was sports. So at no point was ever gonna be like, dude, that was a good shot Like fuck this kid. You know what I mean? Like I could have made that I was like that too Like when I played against other teams, if you weren't on my team like, yo, fuck you Yeah If if you were on my team, you scored the game winner a part of you be like, yes

We won but also another part of me was like you should have kicked that to me because I haven't made this shit I just feel like yeah, we would have won like like a couple more points. Yeah, I would have hit it too Yeah, I would have stepped back. Yeah, actually my home run would have went further, but it's fine. It's I'm glad we won Like you're still balding and fat as fuck So Fuck you man. No, like it's like Like is it okay to lie like about like your grandma dying? Yeah, one of my friends

He is notorious for calling out of work because I feel like Grandma dying is on the Mount Rushmore of like get out of work or school lies. Yeah See, I feel bad doing it doing that. So I've never done it, but Like oh, I've done it. This is this is most this is ridiculous, right? Yeah at my old job when I was delivering pizzas for this pizzeria Usually when people call out of work, it's either the morning like three hours before the work day starts Like normal stuff. Yeah, or it's the night before or it's whatever dude Literally 45 minutes. We'll have to get in. I'll be at the park playing basketball. It's a beautiful day out and I'll be like Yeah, I can't come in and like I don't even have an excuse ready. Why I just uh, I don't I just can't

Yeah, the freestyle lie and the guys just like come on. I'm like, I'm sorry and he's like, all right And I just hang up and another time while I was at work. I was like not feeling this So I told the guy that my grandma fell down Yeah, and I had to go get her. That's a big one too. That's a big one. That's a big one as if she falls down Yeah and calls me Like your grandma's your grandma you're a low on the totem pole. I'm sure she loves you to death She's not calling you not even calling you eighth. No, she's calling nine people like 20 people before she calls you

Yeah, I don't even know if my grandma had my number at the time probably not no way grandmas don't have numbers Also, that was back in the day rotary phone. It would have took her fucking forever. She would have bled out. Yeah, she's done First whoever thought that that would be a good idea. First of all, I fucking rotary phones When I see one I do want to use it But think about you had to use it all the time if you had a friend that had a nine in his fucking number Fuck that kid that fucking asshole. Yo, first of all, what about dialing? 911 on that. Oh my god. Oh, oh shit Yeah, at least the ones are closed. Yeah

Yeah, not on one with your emergency. It's like my emergency is my finger got caught in the fucking rotary So now not only is my house burning down, but my finger's bleeding Now the house is gone now. Sorry. Never mind The nine took forever to to dial so you ever like when the 911 people like They'd be like, uh 911 was here a bird in the sea and the people like, oh my god, like My wife is dying and they'd be like, okay. Uh, what's the address? It's part of their job to be me myself. I'd be so scared to be like, oh my god. I'm coming myself. It's like, fuck. What's that? Is she okay?

At no point do they curse which is unbelievable to me. I know the 911 operators They must be like the most balanced people on earth I know it just like and you know all the phone calls that you take are just horrible phone calls the worst time in people's lives You're talking to them Like initially too. Is it happening? It's insane. Like no one ever calls 911. She's like, uh, just make sure you're doing all right Yeah, how are you? How are you doing? Yeah? No, it's it's it's crazy. It's crazy. Those people are amazing when I was in college All right, sir. How are you?

Everything's going wrong. Yeah at no point. I go fuck. Uh, I don't know when I was in college Like I try I took like one criminal justice class and then uh Like they had that operator come in and like she talked about like some of the craziest stories that she's ever had It's so crazy like to stop that talk about I can't even imagine But like Tying in the office of the operators in college. I definitely lied about my grandma in college a couple times Like I've buried my grandma like 40 times. Wait, what are you telling the same people your grandma keeps dying? No, no, no, no

You got to make sure you got to be I would wake up in the morning and be like is she dead or did you fall Falling is the safest lie falling is safe because she's like she'll make it. Yeah, probably got a big ass bruise All people they bruise like peaches. Yeah They do If you blow on an old person, they have a hematoma Yo, my mom's like that. She's like, can you scratch my back? I scratch her back. She's immediately like bleeding She's fucking she's got a bruise. It sucks. She's just like super irish though. She's just like she's always been that way

That's not that she's like old and decrepit and like just you can't lie about your mom No, that's you go to hell straight to hell for that. I'm not doing that like it's unbelievable We're like, oh not my mom grandma though fair game There's a hierarchy like like my mom's not even falling down No, not even grandma's falling grandma's are closer to the afterlife. So it's like they got to fall. They're gonna fall down You're nudging them. Oh, yeah, it's fine. Like even they would be like that's all right I would call you you feel really bad. Come on. Listen grandma. Uh, I'm gonna tell my boss that you fell

She's like, yeah, so if he Asked for a bruise. I'm gonna need you to just roll off the bed. Okay, sweet. Okay, sweetheart. I'll roll off. That's fine That's fine. Yeah. First of all my grandma Got rest her soul. She was A warrior dude. I know my grandma too got rest her soul as well. She would she would dude She lives in a walk-up apartment on like the fifth floor And would go shopping for groceries

Like a mile away and walk the whole way Buy groceries walk them back walk them up put them away one time. She was watching me and my siblings and she tripped and fell on her fucking face and her chin was like There was like meat hanging. She was bleeding like crazy and a bus driver stopped and like picked her up and was like Oh, are you good? She's like, yeah, I'm good And she was just fine. She's like, yeah, just put a band-aid on it Like I could I could never get away with anything my grandparents were just like

Insanely tough people. Yeah, there was one people people from back in the day. We're just not pussies. My my grandma was just like out of control She was great. Were you saying one time? You're about to tell one time We were in Maine and my grandpa That dude was fucking hilarious, but like Keith didn't feel well and he was like maybe 13 or 14 And he's like, ah, I just don't feel like I was like, what's the matter? What's going on? He's like, I don't know. I just don't just don't feel well My grandpa walks up. Oh, no, and he touches his head

And then he's like and he starts slapping him backhand in front hand. You don't even have a fever. What are you talking about? It just started slapping him. You don't even have a fever. What the fuck at it grandpa's are like They they love their like their grandkids more than their own kids But like I feel like grandpa's are like the toughest people on earth At least our generation of grandpa. Yeah, my grandpa was was nuts Yeah, fought in wars and shit. Yeah, my grandpa. I'm a bitch, dude. I'm a bitch too. Yeah, you're a bitch for sure big time big time bitch

yo, by the way By the way, I don't know. I don't know why this just popped into my head But did you see the video when you said a big bitch? I was like, all right Did you did you see that video that was going around on twitter of that of that lady who like called the cops on like an eight-year-old girl Who was selling like lemonade or some shit? Oh, yeah, and she like didn't have a permit. She was saying she didn't have a Why this is like white woman is just like Dude this fucking white woman calls cops on an eight-year-old selling fucking lemonade Selling lemonade as a kid is a staple in this country. Even if I saw it bounces out the economy

I think there's something even if I saw like an eight-year-old kid like Do something like actually criminal like a part of me would be like do I call even call the cops on this eight-year-old kid right now I'm never calling cops on an eight-year-old unless they're waving a gun in the shirt in the shirt If they're throwing eggs at a car, they're spray painting. I'm not gonna say anything. No, I'm just giving the kids a dick I was a dick too. Yeah, so was I Throwing eggs at cars American pastime love that love that love it. It was the best very dangerous So I hate it now. I hate it. I drive a car. Yeah, but love it

That feeling of when that egg connected with that car Bliss nothing pure bliss. It was like hitting a home run In the bomb of the ninth in the world series You literally turn around and tell the people that literally just saw you do it. I got it Yeah, I hit it. That was me. Yeah, it was great. It was the best But uh, you know that woman I was down. I'm so confused. I love that like those videos are like viral now There was the one about the lady with the barbecue with like the sunglasses like

She was like, you can't barbecue here. And then they were like the cops came and they're like, yeah, you can She like called the cops and like black people barbecuing Why do white people love calling the cops white people love the cops. It's like it's it's so weird and suing Oh, that drives me nuts big time sewers. Yeah, I hate I hate that like when you see the videos of like These like preppy dudes like talking shit to bouncers. Yeah, they're like, oh, fuck you dude. You're a fat piece of shit Yeah, and the guy just like slaps somebody's like, you're gonna hear about this tomorrow with the male It's like shut the fuck up you bitch. You don't even know my fucking daddy You'll never work in this town. Yeah

I love that one. You ever heard of rooney and schwarz. Well, you're looking at schwarz Oh, it's some fucking guy and rooney's on his fucking way Already knows dude. I I hate that shit so much. But that's the one about the pool Which one? Oh, yeah, they could just some some was a dude or some woman So whoever someone called cops on This is a black family because it was they were wanting to go in the pool Dude, how do the cops not show up and just put a fucking like just taste these white people Just show up and be like, why'd you call me? Oh, these black people want to get in the pool?

Just taste the whole family Taste the kids taste the kids in front of the parents. But yeah, you guys listen He's like I had you. He's like, I just I just wanted to know like if they had identification Oh, and then like they go you need a key card like a swab. Yeah to get in And they were like She was like remembers here the cop takes the lady's key thing and just goes beep because it works like They belong here that drives me fucking insane. You know what it was. I think what they were complaining about too. It was like

Per fob you get two guests. Yeah, and like oh, they got too many guests. Yo, if you were the type of person Look for me if I'm out of pool or whatever you key fob bring eight people You paid already. What the hell? What do I care? I don't work here. I'm not getting paid No, I don't like what this has no effect on me. But it's like, oh you broke the rules. I'm gonna tell somebody Oh my god, just taste them. Please just taste them Just taste them right in the neck and just get them on the ground and be like, yo, listen Don't do that ever again because then they won't yeah, it's like listen. I'm gonna come back. Are you gonna call me? I'm like then they're gonna think I'm not gonna call the cops. They're gonna come here and tase me because I'm an idiot

No, yeah, but you think you think about it like this too. It's like You have to go out of your way. Oh, I hate it. You're going so far out of your way You broke the rules to tell somebody that they broke the rules Dude, I swear to god or like when you you remember on like on the buses, right? Yeah the bus doors would open and sometimes like A kid would jump in the back just so he could get on for free. Yeah Like secretly the bus driver wouldn't know and then someone would be like, oh someone just got on the bus for free It's like really lady 250. Yeah suck my balls. Yeah

This kid could afford it. He probably would have paid the 250 It's also a lot of fun to not pay for stuff another. Yeah It is amazing to not pay for stuff. All right before we move on Let's get to the sponsors real quick. The first one we have here is blue apron the leading meal kit delivery service In the u.s. I have it basically you sign up for blue apron. You'll get a package in the mail Uh with pre-portioned food and instructions on how to cook it. So You have a nice meal. You got a little cookbook with you. You got this for the rest of your life You become a nice cook and that's why I started doing it because I moved out. I don't know how to cook anything

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Use stamps.com and use the promo code because you get free stuff out of it or at discount whatever it may be All right And uh, yeah, anyway Another thing though too about pools saw a lot of old dick Whoa, what? There was always an old guy that showers at the pool All right, I was like what when you're walking through like because you know when you walk I don't really go to a lot of community pools Well back in the day when you were a kid, I only event of one And now I'm old enough to be the old guy's dick now

No, no 29, but if you're in your 20s and you're showering naked at a public pool Listen getting weird. That's a guy that has nothing to live for. Yeah, or you gotta go home. Yeah, okay I'm not dropping trial at a pool. What no, no I'm not showering. It's insane little kids running around in crocs and my dicks out. Yeah, I can't have that I don't want any of that I don't like it At the gym. Do you ever go butt out? dick out

I have no reason to I tried it once You went dick out. I went dick out. Wait. Did you like no towel? I went no. I literally went to the gym I said, you know what today. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go dick out. Yeah, and I undressed at my Locker dick out dick out. No towel. No. I had a towel put it on my shoulder. That's that's dick out Dick out as fuck And then I went into the sauna and put it down because I don't want like my ball sweat. That's bad sauna etiquette Right, but my dick was out in there. Oh in the sauna. Oh, you put it down and sat on the towel. Yeah

Oh, so your shit was just like I then walked straight to the shower. My dick was out for a good 25 Yeah That's a solid dick out solid dick out sash. I want to just try it out but like I couldn't do it anymore. I I I don't I don't go dick out. I have no reason to go dick out though Like I go there. I work out Nobody has a reason to go dick out I mean, I I understand like if you're I mean, yeah, no, they don't I mean, I understand being dick out for like a sec

Yeah, change your shit. You know what I mean? Because like, oh, I gotta change real quick and like whatever But like I don't have to take a shower there because I'm not in a rush. So I just like Yeah, I go in the sauna and then I come out and then like I just leave and it's also like If your dick's out I'm gonna check it out If your dick is out right next to me, there's no way I'm not gonna get a glimpse of your dick Yeah, I mean I'm not gonna go out of my way peek around the corner to see your dick

But if you're talking to me, don't talk to me with your dick out. Yeah, because now I got now. I gotta see this Now I gotta look at your dick It sucks. Yeah, it doesn't suck. But like, you know what I mean I don't know the one time some guy fooled me. He was standing behind a Like a wall and he had his shirt on. Yeah, I walked out from behind the wall and his dick was out I'm like, whoa, this is now. This is not okay. Yeah shirt on dick out. No, thanks. Yeah, because now you're fucking with me Yeah, and you're standing behind the wall. This is ridiculous. Yeah, that's that's like in the Geneva convention Did I tell you at the time that we were I was in the sauna with Pete and Frankie and some dude walked in dick out

With just three three guys in there dig out. Yeah, and he knew it was weird. I went in the sauna by myself Was that did anyone come in one guy came in and then left and it was probably because I had my dick out Well, I would I would assume so my sweaty dick. What is sweaty? Oh god, you know And I was wearing compression shorts that day. So I was all bashed. Oh, you are bashed up Yeah, it looked like a fucking Picasso painting. It just yeah, it just like I got like a soupy. Yeah. Oh my god Looked like play-doh. You couldn't tell where your balls and dicks started. It was just one big messy He was all intertwined. It's like when you get corn and your mashed potatoes and solid just like wait, what is There used to be separate things. Yeah, it's like my deuce's hair. Yeah, exactly

Don't bash up exactly. It's like a dirty snowball. Yeah, that's what exactly what it is It's like when you pick up a snowball and it's like I like a Twig in it and like what is that is that bird shit or there's like a bunch of stuff They are like or like a rolled up sweaty pair of socks That's exactly If you got You know when you drop your your laundry off with the laundromat and they come back and your socks are all bowled up You take that you dunk it in water. That's that's what it was balls. Yeah compression. Why do compression shorts do that?

I don't know I don't know. I love it though. I love the way they feel listen. I'll be honest with you I'm cool with having one of these things Give me a dick or give me balls Separating them. I got too is too much work. I know connect them. Yeah, just just staple my balls to my dick Make them one thing. Yeah, that'd be cool. That'd be awesome. Look. I got elephant Balls are so I don't know why balls are so weird Yeah, I really think about it like we walk around every day just balls

Yeah, there's a bounce around down there. I don't say I hold my balls a lot Yeah You do too. You're a big ball holder. You ever like never mind. What's up? What can I guess what like like get them like caught up in your stomach? No, I was That feeling is awful. First of all that has happened. Yeah, it's weird It's scary and you're like, yo, did I just lose a nut? Yeah, and you gotta like push it down because they get caught in like your groin area Yeah, like a little high and they get like it's like a bump and you're like, yo, where's where's my fucking nut? Then you gotta like push on it and it slides right back into your sack and you're like, all right, cool

But you know, that wasn't what I was gonna say It does it guides right back in Yeah, no, we're good. We're good. We're good. It's back. Yeah. No, it's you know, they're so weird They're so they're weird thing like if I was a girl and I saw balls and be like, no Yo, have you ever like when I was younger You know what I'm gonna I'm gonna attract that statement. I wasn't that young It's just like I thought you were gonna retract the whole story. I can't do that. No, no, no Like you know when you take your ball sack. Yeah, and you just kind of stretch it out

Yeah, just to see what and it looks like a flying squirrel's Wing. Yeah, like a treasure map. It's a little transparent. Yeah, and it's sort of like fluorescent You want to see if the light can get through it's like that bright red color. Yeah, I hear you Yep stretch those balls, you know, and then it's like if you get gum on your hand And it's just like all stress. Yeah, these balls are nuts, dude. Yeah Do you Do you examine your balls now though? You're at that age you should examine your balls What does that mean for bumps and stuff? Oh, no, no. Yeah bumps. I got I got bumps

You have bumps in your balls. No, I The balls are the bumps. No, no, no, no, but you should examine your your sack You're 26. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty I'm I'm good. You're at that age I'm bumping. I'm not bumpy I'm definitely I'm good. You're you're I'm good. Yeah, we're fine That was just a quick that was a quick examination through the nuts Quick nuts skin. Yeah, it was not. Yeah, but I I could I could um, I just want one

I don't need I don't need both like if one ball or just one penis. No, no, no One one either or like balls or I mean actually I'll take the dick you could have the balls Yeah, you'd rather have the dick. Yeah You'd rather have the dick, but if there was a way of just combining both That'd be that'd be cool too. Like like if your balls are on your penis Or like at the tip of your penis I guess if they were just like on top Like bump bump like that. Yeah, top because then it would it would be rigid. Yeah

We've got girls off it would be like an anal bead sort of yeah Dick would be an anal. Yeah But for vaginas, so I guess a vaginal bead your dick would look like a flute kind of yeah But if it was normal, then it wouldn't look weird. It'd be like, yeah, this is what dicks look like They're they're they look like camels backs. It's just You know This conversation is just out of control. You're like the guys with the hook dick That's like a different that's a different type of dick

Wait, which which way are we hooking? Oh, which which way would you rather hook? No, listen, these are curved if you go left or right hook is up. Yeah, because I've seen those and I'm like How does that work? But is that a dick or like just like a candy cane something that looks like a dick. Yeah I've seen this this and that curved up dicks Hook dicks. Yeah are are probably dope for the for the girl. Oh, yeah They probably like but if I was a girl and pulled out a hook dick

I don't I don't know how I feel about that I feel like we got to talk about this. She's like, wait, were you in like a car accident or something? How'd this happen? Oh my god. What happened? Just like no, no, no This has been the the deal. No, it's it's uh and also is it a progressive hook. Does it get more hooky? Or like it's been hooking your whole life It's probably been hooking your whole life like if you got like a eight-year-old hook. Yeah a whole life hook I Rather have a curvy like a curved dick because like if you had a curved dick, it's like

I feel like it's like so heavy that it has to curve, you know Oh, man, that's what you're saying is you want to have your dick. Yeah, I want to have your dick Dude, which is more massive. You know what to make it heavier. You could be if you put your balls on top of it Distribute the weight. Yeah like hang low That's the thing. I don't know how girls deal with it if if I was a girl though Like I don't know how girls deal with dick But if I was a girl I'd be taking some dick

You want to elaborate on that or no, I just feel like if I feel like women Should be more obviously more they're more empowered sexually Because they all know what we want. You know what I mean and rightfully so they should be empowered But if I was a girl, mm-hmm a 20 year old girl You're in college. I'll be getting blasted Like I would be getting thrashed. I think that Here's the thing right well my voice cracked. So I'm getting I'm getting nervous No, but I think that I would be one of those girls

in high school that was that would be like Yeah, I'm down, but then wouldn't do it. You'd be a cocktail and I'd be like, oh, I'm a tease But then once I got to college. I was just like full-blown Getting real preacher's daughter. Just just uh Just not good if you were a girl would you let two guys bang you at the same time? Yo, I don't know let me just like try to put myself in that six Take like a quick five seconds to think about it right and now

Take take no take it. No, I'm taking it Okay, here's what I came up with I as as as I don't know if I'd be down for anal No, no, no, I'm just saying like two guys just just take turns on it. Oh Like a college party just Yeah Too too hot lacrosse bros for snapchat lax bros. Yeah Could you take two guys?

I just I don't I don't think I have the frame I don't have the I don't have the frame for that. I could get bounced around you can get bounced around. Yeah I just don't have I don't have yeah, I could get hurt Yeah, that's a walk in the park for me. Yeah, that's that's friday night. You could you could hurt some people. Hell, yeah Bring her a game. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm not I gotta stick to like like I I wouldn't even probably I wouldn't date anyone on the football team Like I'd probably just like stay to like like a swimmer or something. Yeah, somebody on the soccer team Oh soccer. Yeah, you date a soccer dude. Yeah, like the goalie. Yeah goalies hang

goalies probably hang down But if I was a girl I'd be getting I'd be getting so fucked I Yo, we are like Please don't be offended by that. Why are we not? That's cool. Um, I was I'm talking on there. I'll answer for that. That's fine. Not all of us in college suck a lot of dick I'm just saying if I was in college and I had a vagina. Yeah, I would be sd and getting pounded I'd be I'll be filling it up. Um, that's right. That's what I mean. Like I think through high school

I'd be like, oh no, but then Uh in college like I I I'd probably just you know, yeah, I'd let it I'd let it loose So that's the power of the of the push. It's let the cat run wild. Yeah You know what I'm saying? Let's take the leash off. Take the leash off let it run around the yard Yeah, turn that indoor cat to an outdoor cat. That's what I'm talking about Let's get after it. Yeah, just let it stay outside alley cat. It's like I don't even look at girls like sluts anymore We're too old for that. It's like when you're young you think that it's like

As a guy, you know, like, you know, it's crazy. So growing up, obviously you said you said that, of course Like, oh my god, that girl's a slut. Like whatever And I have a big group of friends. I literally haven't heard the word slut in like No Four or five years Because no one The last thing I think I like in my mind, I would call a girl right now. In fact, there was a time Fucking slut where if it was a good where if you said that I was like, all right

Nice. So I was like, yeah, I don't know. She's a whore. Nice. Yeah good Like even whores, he's like feels dirty now whores dirty horse. You know why whores dirty because like Game of thrones uses it. So just like yeah willy-nilly and it's like a job Mechanic like oh, she's a she's a whore. Yeah, she's like, yeah, it's good. I'm a whore. Hi. How you doing? Yeah How's your evening? It's just weird. Do you have dragons? No, I was like when I was in Italy though Like I went in the Coliseum and they were basically like, yeah, this is like where the emperor would sit like what is like whores horse

I love how they just say it like it's not has no negative connotation to it's just like an occupation I remember I well, they said another word, but I leaned all I leaned over to a lawn. I go That means whores The royal mistresses. Yeah, the chambermaids. Yeah, and his many and his many of women. Yeah They were all sluts. Yeah, maybe right there. It could be because it's historical, right, you know But yeah, definitely. I'll tell you what Here's what I know Back then if I was a girl

I'm making my way up to the emperor's room. Oh, yeah, I'm sucking my way to the top Yeah, imagine you got to suck the king's dick That'd be so dope. Do you think because you know how back you know my eye? Do you think that? Who's dick do you suck today? Oh, I don't know the kings. Yeah If you don't if I'm gonna be a chambermaid, I'm gonna be a s in like royal d Better be the top of the food chain here every day. It better be the guy that everyone thinks is like a god Like that's a god. Yeah Like like the

Sucking a god's dick makes you a god is Probably not, you know, you're gonna have his god child Yeah I just another thing. How do people have babies back then? I think they were just like raw dog. It's like rolled out like onto the floor No, they were just like screaming and a lot of them died. Oh, it's crazy Thank god, we don't live back If I had to sword fight around I'm literally useless and pathetic

Yeah, like if I had to sword fight actually, I'm not gonna say that because if I had to sword fight I think I trust your skills. I could Orlando bloom this a little bit. I'm not gonna beat jack sparrow Dude, like 300 years ago mean you could have legally like have dueled in the street And then one of us would just be dead It'd be you no I'm quick put your hand down right now your side. Okay I'm count three pull it out. Yeah one two three

I was up there and I'm pointing right at your fucking grill I was going from the low you were gonna hit my shoulder. That's true. I would have survived You would have been you would have ate that bullet. I'm already All right one more time one two You got me that I got you. Yeah, you're dead. Yeah I felt like you could do best What if it's not your best day I got I got the flu. Can we reschedule? Yeah, it's raining rain delay challenge I get the tarp

So it's a rain out guys. So I have to wrap that up Probably. Yeah, I'd suck my way to the top though. Sure. Yeah, I think uh, yeah, I'm confident in you doing that. Yeah I'd be like one of those ones like like you lay in like You like you open like the king's like chambers and I'm already like laying there kind of Just like eating fruit and like grapes in front of your dung. Yeah, but it's like humid So like I'm a little like sweaty or ready. You're glistening. I'm glistening just like ready for like the king's taking I glisten pretty much the entire summer. You're a big glistening guy. Yeah, I'm a shiny dude. Yeah, because I sweat Yeah, no, I I usually I sweat

But like I'm talking about when I'm in ac. I just like glisten because like I'm always just perspiring. Yeah You got some color though. Yeah, I got a little uh, have you reached your max? You think no I got I got a few I got a few weeks left. I got a couple shades in august I'm gonna be an a2 but like right now. I think I'm flirting with an eight Yeah, I mean if we want to go down this road again, I think I stepped my game out major Since like just even two weeks ago. You weren't ever sat your robe. That's a couple that's a couple points You know, I'm where are you? I'm wearing two chains two gold chains You gotta watch on yeah, it's just killing it. It's just tattoo killing it. He's got a tat. Yeah

75 at least at least Give it up. I'm not gonna fight you on a 75. I mean lost 40 pounds You I know it's weird my dick's bigger now It's an optical illusion, but it's bigger It's an optical illusion. Yeah, because like I've lost the weight so I could see more of my penis Oh, shit. Yeah, so so I'm like, oh my god, I do have a dick. I could see more of the base I could see more of the base. Oh, I could definitely see base now. Oh, see base. Yeah, I baseline You weren't seeing base

I wasn't seeing base a few months ago. You were seeing tip. I was seeing tip. I had to bend to see base Now I could just look down see base see base. Yeah That's dope. Yeah, just that's all I wanted to give back to I want to lose like 20 more pounds Then you then you get a good look at that base. Yeah, I could fucking see it from space. Yeah See the base from space speaking of space. Would you rather spend? A month in space or a month in a submarine I Rather be dead. I'm dead. I would I mean y'all

Here's the thing I'm gonna say submarine For the simple fact that either way if this goes wrong, I'm suffocating Because you suffocate in space Yeah I'm not gonna be happy. No a month I think though, it's like the reason I would say submarine is because I could see cool shit in the submarine Space you're gonna just say like yeah a tour bus. You'll see the earth

But you see way cooler shit in space. You see cooler shit in space But you're out there in space under water. We could pop right up. That's what I'm saying I don't want to fucking get shot and break the fucking Atmosphere to come back and burn up and land fuck that I think that's how it works. Yeah, I It's terrifying. It's terrifying. I can't believe there's that there's humans that brave to go like yeah, yeah, whatever What you're going You're gonna go

I've worked my whole life to go to space Like you're nuts like you're crazy I think a party you has to be crazy to do that Like a certain part like a Like I hate to use the word crazy like Loosely but to go to space knowing that You're leaving the planet Is insane to me. I don't I just

But you would you would pick submarine Yeah I picked some I'd pick something especially if we could shoot some missiles that shit. I'm down. That'd be cool fire some rock You see like cool like seals and stuff probably swimming around seals. Yeah seals could dive underwater We talked about this about holding breath Which I beat you in yeah, he's I mean I had no confidence in that smoked you I almost died after Boy was breathing heavy up there He was breathing a little heavy. Yeah, my cardio game is a lot better now

Yeah, I just ran two miles at the gym Two miles that's a lot for you. Yeah, it is Yo, you usually do like intervals to like one and a half miles, right? Yeah, but like you're pushing it though Yeah, I just you know Getting after what are you waiting these days? Are you are you comfortable saying? I'm like 180 Would you want to be 175? I'd like to get down to 170 if I was 170 I'd be like real like I'd look dramatically different

Yeah, I wouldn't want to go lower than 170 I would have like a six pack of abs if I was 170. Yeah It's like I'm cool with where I'm at, but like I still want to lose them. You look great Still need bread for like the month. No, I know but I like that's that's the thing like I don't really care Like I care certain days and I'm like all right these days. I'll do it Well, it's different for you. It was like me. I had to do it just health wise. I was just unhealthy, right, you know It was like, hey, do you like want to be 50? Then like part of me was like, I don't know. Do I and then I was like, yeah, and then I got it

So we got to start exercising. Yeah losing 40 pounds And still being 230. I was like, yo, that's fucking crazy I was like, that's insane. Dude think about those people who are like extremely overweight They're in their 300s and they get down to like 190. I know you're like, yo, how how who are these people? I know incredible people My goal weights 205 and I just want to get jacked from there. I want to be like Maurice Jones true He's got way bigger legs than you. Yeah, he does 205 would be nuts. You would look mad different. Yeah, I'm gonna hit 205

I think I'll hit 205. What's today's date? July something I'll hit it by December yeah by Christmas. I'll be 205 Wow. Yeah Just sexy d did sexy d. Damn start doing some abs Just get after it. You might surpass me Oh, that's I'm way on the road there. You're surpassing me. No, I didn't say that. Don't put words in my mouth I said I'm on the road there to surpass me, but you could easily surpass me if you did like Like if you did some stuff

What is that? Like you can leave me in the dust if you wanted to so how do I do that? I would say I like that you went with a new haircut. Okay, I do like the new haircut Makes you look a little bit older and I honestly think it looks a little sexier um Your pant selection I think the way that you wear your pants needs a little bit tuning up What?

Like your like your jeans, right? Yeah um You don't cuff the bottom of your jeans Cuff my jeans. Yeah, like like I think you could change the way that your jeans look a little sloppy sometimes So we can clean that up. Okay. All right. Mm-hmm other thing too is Is your shirts shirts are kind of always wrinkled right? If a non wrinkled shirt goes a long way long very long very long way Your your looks themselves got nothing to worry about

All that's good. Just gotta clean it up. I think we just clean it up. Yeah, and I think you're you're you're well on your way Dare I say? Mm-hmm 8.8 Well, whoa. Yeah, that's how much I believe in you. I didn't know there was that much untapped potential here Yeah, man, especially you said if you lose 10 pounds you'll have abs That's 8.8 easy Like rolling out of bed 8.8 now. I'm dedicated. Yeah, too Also, you gotta step up your sneaker game a little bit I mean you I mean fine like it's not like you don't have to go crazy

but like We gotta step that up. Okay. We'll step that up a little close and the way I dress has never been something I really cared about no, which is which is a part of your appeal really. Yeah Me it's like the the reason that I switched to it. It was because I realized that I was losing weight Yeah, and like clothes could actually fit me now. Yeah, so like I want to look nice even though. I'm still heavy Like I want to look nice While being heavy. Mm-hmm. So that's why like even those pictures that you saw me in like even really like yo You look mad skinny. Yeah, it's because I'm picking the right clothes

Yeah, this is like straight eye for the straight guy. Yeah, have you watched that on netflix? What queer eye? Yeah Yeah, it's a good show. I used to watch it when it was on tv. It's on netflix now Dude, there's nothing awesome. There's nothing. I love more than watching like five gay dudes just rip apart some straight Dude, yeah, it's great. Oh, what is your dusty? That's my favorite thing. Yeah, I'm telling you watch the queer eye for the straight guy netflix, awesome I love it. I was watching it when it was on tv. Yeah, so now no no no, it's new No, I know I'm just saying like it used to be a tv show like I would watch it back then. Hell yeah

It's fucking hilarious kind of edgy for that time period What queer eye for the straight guy? Yeah, like put a bunch of gay guys on tv like yeah, I mean Everyone was homophobic back then I feel like I mean, we're definitely way more like accepting now. Fuck. Yeah Dude, we just talked about sucking a king's dick for like 30 minutes Yeah, I mean, but who wouldn't? Yeah, who wouldn't speaking of king's dicks Bieber's engaged

How's that? Guy guys got a piece on him Bieber's got a cock on him. Yeah, Bieber's got a pretty nice piece. By the way, I just want to like point out There's a clear difference between a dick and a cock. Yes and a penis. Yes. You know what I mean? No Like there's a listen. There's tears to to That part of a male body. Okay a penis. Okay. It's like ages zero to 12 that's a penis

And you're 13 14 15 starting to get a dick Oh, it's age I thought I thought you were talking inches. We're talking inches. Oh, I think because zero to 12 No, no zero to 12 age right zero to 12 age You got a penis. Everyone's everyone's got a penis. Yeah, you got a pee pee. Yeah. Oh, oh pee pee of pee forgot about pee pee zero 12 your pee pee is zero to five pee pee

Six to 13 That's penis. Yeah, I have a penis barely have a penis right 14 to I would say 19 We're talking dick And then some people get a cock. Yeah, some people stay at a dick. Yeah cocks are like Come on even how you say a cock a cock. It's a it's a it's a That's that's a fucking cock. Like even like right now like yeah a cock is just like a monster a cocks like

jesus Knocking on your door at night. Oh, whoa, because it scares you cousin pee Cox one guys got a cock on him. No, but like dicks dicks are like dicks are cool dicks are cool Dude, my dick is cool. Dicks are dicks. Dicks fine. Yeah, but you can't have a penis. No, penises are unfortunate Yeah, you got a penis. It's like You know Definitely peepies are that's tough penis

Are unfortunate they are You got to have at least a dick. You got to have at least a dick in this world You don't have to have a cock, but if you got a cock Yeah You live it would almost be irresponsible. I have to swing that shit around town. Yeah This is like Dick this is a pee pee this world Yeah, there's no there's no room for peepies. Yeah, I'm sure there's like a

Community of peepies. Do you think girls worry about their boob size just as much as we worry about our cock size way no chance, right? Oh People small boobs are cool Small boobs are great. Yeah Put big titties Oh Are awesome. No, they're cool. So so what's the boob to titty then? What's there? Okay boobies

Oh boobies there's boobies boobies are just like, you know But boob everyone's got boobies. Yeah, I got some point in their life I got some boobies Boobies there's the lowest is boobies, right? But like, you know the thing is I don't think it goes by size I think it goes by age boobies. We're like, I'm serious. Okay. Just make sure the ages are all right. Yeah, no boobies are like When you first start getting them and you gotta go get a bra. It's like I got boobies Okay, and then shortly after You get boobs, right? Maybe moving up the boobs. Yeah, then at some point you're like look at those tits

Yeah, some people got tits on those those titties like yo, that's those tits. Yeah And but a lot of people stay at boobs and boobs are great boobs are great. Yeah, we're talking we're talking of age Of age boobs. We're talking about sizes here. Yeah Well, you said age said it goes by age Well, I'm saying everyone at one point had boobies. Yeah, of course That's what I'm saying as far as age the reason why I said age is because also at a certain point you have breasts Oh, I forgot about breasts breasts are old No, no one's 23 years old with breasts. No, no breasts have been through wars. Yeah, and like kids economic failure

Yeah, financially irresponsible decisions Disappointments. Yeah, fucking couple breastfeeding kids. Yeah couple leans on your house. Exactly. Yeah, those are breasts breasts have been through it all Dark days dark ages. Yeah, your nipples get way more red. Yeah, and like veiny. Yeah, it's over. No, it's I mean, it still could be dope I love titties, but breasts breasts are like older. So that's what it is in the middle We have fluctuating boobs, but boobies and breasts are Given are the access they're going to happen You're gonna have boobies and you're gonna have breasts the only difference is you might have boobs or you might have tits I

Hope no one listens to me ever Yeah, but you want to know why and this might just be because of who I am. Yeah, all of that made sense to me I think it does make sense. It does. Listen I think I'm correct. I think I think I think it works like Penises everyone's got penises boobies. Everyone's gonna have boobies at one point. Yeah, then you have a dick. Yeah, and you have boobs And then you got cocks. Yeah And you got tits. Yes cocks and tits

Jesus christ I wonder if like big dicks are hereditary That's all for this week's episode Oh man Oh man, you're so right. It's so funny. That might have been the smartest breakdown of anything I've ever heard Oh, man, I can't wait for the comments on this one. I don't I don't know how people are gonna feel about it But you know, I think we're just speaking from the heart here. I'm definitely speaking from the dick. Yeah, for sure I think we covered all the bases today. We did we definitely did

Oh, man. Oh gosh, I think we should wrap this up before I start spewing out more knowledge. Yeah. Yeah, I think I think I'm I'm gonna end on a high note. You know what? Because it could only go down from here That's true. That's true. Anyway, uh, danny, where where can they find you? um, you can find me on instagram and twitter at danny low priory And uh, guys, don't forget the merch store, uh, the sanagatos store dot com For all that merch some base me yard merch in there and uh, yeah, I got a twitch channel also twitch.tv slash joe sanagato

Stream on monday and wednesday nights and randomly throughout the week sometimes also and also remember to check out your favorite clips From the basement yard youtube channel YouTube channel youtube.com slash the basement yard come see your favorite clips That'll definitely on there. Yeah. All right, and that is all thanks for listening pace