The Basement Yard - I'm Marrying Whoopi Goldberg

Episode Date: September 3, 2018

On this episode, Danny & I play MASH again. We also talk about Handmaids Tale & how our fathers we're terrifying. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fuck is going on over here. Where's this string welcome back to the basement yard today? It's me and Dan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah new smoky shirts new merch Bitch new merch alert, you know I'm saying smoky shirts get your smoky shirts get your smoky shirts limit It's a limited time. I'll be honest with you. Yeah, these are my favorite ones that I've ever I was just gonna say Yeah, these are my favorite. This is the best merch you've ever put out. Yeah, I think so. Yeah I really like these a lot. There is one thing on your website. There's like a red wait the website You're talking about the Santa gala store.com. Yes spelled T-H-E-S-A-N-T-A-G-A-T-O-S-T-O-R-E dot com

I can't believe I did them for one try. I honestly think you spelled it wrong. No, I think I spelled it right. Do it one more time No, I don't got that kind of time. I think you messed it up. No, I'm gonna have a nosebleed But this smoky gear is the best thing you have on. Yeah, there's gray ones and there's black ones. There's long sleeves There's hoodies. There's hoodies? There's hoodies. Where's mine? I got hoodies outside. Yeah I mean it's summer. You don't need it now. No, but I like those. A preemptive hoodie. A preemptive hoodie? Mm-hmm. It reminds me of being a kid. Remember that like first outfit What the hell are you talking about? First outfit is first day school. Oh, I was like, what the fuck is this?

I love having buying stuff for future seasons I Love buying stuff for future season now me too. I'm also a big fall guy a huge fall like if I can wear a hoodie and basketball shorts Run to the car. Yeah, look like a gym teacher. Yeah, you're good to go Mm-hmm. I was I was really big into like buying so I love buying jackets in the summer Yeah On sale save money on sale dude. I gotta oh my god. Oh my god. My voice. It's alright. Oh, I'm sale. Have you ever made a Sano Gatto jacket

Well, like a winter jacket. Yeah, no, but you know what I have made probably mad expensive, you know what I've made though These smoky shirts that you can go get at the sano gatto store.com right now. Go buy it now Yeah, I Love this shit. Yeah. No, yeah, they're fine. I need more than one of these. Yeah We sent these out I believe in the free bundle for the patreon If you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard if you want to support the show you there are some cool rewards They're including some free merchant depending on what tier you're in also. There's promo codes for the merch Depending on what tier you're in but patreon spelled p a t r e o n dot com slash the basement yard

Go check that shit out as well. Also if you sign up for the free merch bundle you get an email from your boy Yeah, Danny sent an amount you get a personal email from the big dog I Personal all right, I think I just got a snot on my mic. That's fine. It's not fine. Um, anyway today We are revisiting a video or episode that we Enjoyed doing Mesh, but we're gonna do mash For me love it because we did it for Danny last time. So we're gonna do it for me this time

You know what I mean? All right? Find out what my future holds here. Okay, okay? So just to explain the rules again for people who don't know all right mash goes across the top MASH which stands for mansion apartment shack swamp sewer street sewer good and just house and house I'll take a house. Are you kidding? Yeah, I'll take a fucking house spouse. Mm-hmm, which rhymes with house Obviously, you know what that is. There's four choices wherever you're gonna end up with whatever if there's a car Mm-hmm, and I see pet over there. What else you got? I got job. Okay salary Standard number of kids obviously and then I added a mystery What I added a little mystery category a mystery category. I had the fold the paper so you can see it. What is it?

I can't tell you. Oh, I'm not gonna find out now. No, I don't know you're gonna find out It's gonna be the last one we do. Okay fine. All right. All right deal. And so how it works is We fill all these out with like options or whatever and then he starts drawing a circle And then when I tell him to stop then he counts those the rings up yep And then we just start marking them off to us. So let's let's go through it. Well, let's fill up these cats Be careful because if Pete is listening they don't know you're talking about we'll fill out these categories. There you go Categories category. Okay. All right spouse. I'm gonna pick one Whoopee Goldberg. That's a good choice. Wait, which whoopee?

view view whoopee What the Goldberg now you can pick one? I'm allow you to pick one. I can only pick one. Yeah. All right. Keep it like along the lines of celebrity like, you know I'll take Jennifer Lopez. All right. That's what I was gonna say sweet buns of Jennifer Lopez. Yeah Let's throw Roseanne in there Roseanne, ooh Roseanne bar, I don't know about that. She's going through some stuff right now. Yeah, it might be your wife I don't like that at all. All right, and then I don't want to touch Roseanne

So that your front runner is obviously J. Lo. We yeah whoopee's not a bad silver. No, I'll take that. Yeah, Roseanne and Then hmm, I'll literally take anything over that Give me like Dan Ackroyd or something. No, no, no You want a man? I'll put a man in here Like a like a vintage man Kelsey Grammer Kelsey Grammer, wait, who is that for sure? Oh my god He looks like Frankenstein. Yeah, who do you think you got? Kelsey Carter is it is it Chelsea? How's it Kelsey? We think you got Chelsea Chelsea. Chelsea Graham. Here we go All right car. How about we just put your car that you have now?

430i. Yeah Don't flex All right The a pinto, what the fuck is that? It's like one of those like cars like no El Dorado An El Dorado is that like a Ford pickup? No. Yeah El Dorado a horse Fire all right. We'll take the horse. You horse this horse qualify

Judges say it does. Yeah. All right, so horse. There's no one there Okay horse El Dorado and a like rollerblazer some razor scooter Raise electric razor scooter Electric razor scooter. What are you rich? Why not? It's the future, bro. Yeah. All right pet giraffe. Fuck. Yeah, dude. I got you. I'm getting that giraffe I can already tell right now. I'm getting it. All right giraffe Bat eew. Yeah, you have to have a pet bat you creep

Do you keep those in cages? Yeah, of course. Do people have pet bats? Yeah, people have pet bats. Oh my god. This fucking assholes They're disgusting by the way, and I said on another episode that bats were gross and then so many people tweeted me pictures of like baby bats like What do you like aren't these cute? I'm like fucking no. Did you hear what I said? It just look like a smaller scrotum. Yeah, it's gross. It's disgusting. They're gross. They're gross gross No one will ever convince me that a bat is cute icky gross icky gross so icky gross Bat so we have giraffe bat. How about Let's put Charlie there. Yeah, dog. Thank you. Charlie's sleeping on the floor right now. Give Charlie a chance. Yeah, and then let's do a

Woolly mammoth Where am I gonna put that thing? Yeah, so you're gonna have to figure it out. You better hope you get a mansion if I get the sewer Even if I get anything except a mansion we got trouble. Woolly mammoth is pretty cool because it doesn't exist anymore Extinct and you'd be the only person to have it I Could flip that yeah, then get the mansion. You just gotta hope you don't get a bat. I don't want a bat. All right job Danny's Personal assistant First one

Yeah, I make you do stuff Terrible stuff You got something you want to say? No Like sex stuff. No nuts. It wouldn't be sexual. Maybe There was a confident no, no, no, maybe have our 50 shades of Joe who will something like that. Would you make me like rub your feet? Yeah, oh I hate that but not like in like now with my mouth. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just like hands. Yeah hands stuff Or you want play footsie? No remember footsie

What do you mean remember footsie never did it under under yeah, but like it's not like extinct people do not play footsie anymore It's not discontinued people footsie. No way people footsie. No, they don't someone footsies. No someone watching this video Probably has their foot on like their significant others like foot and they're like I'm not talking about. Let's watch Joe and footsie. No, I'm talking about in school footsie. What is in school footsie under the desk You never under the decks. Yeah, I can't even say that word under the desk footsie. Yeah But you have to have bare feet. It's also our socks or socks Yeah, but when you're in school, you're in school. Yeah, but that's that's like lexie Awkward always one of the very awkward moments is when your foot touches somebody else's foot and you have to like apologize. Sorry

It's like, I'm sorry my foot is so disgusting. Yeah, I'm sorry my foot touched your foot. You're protected foot by a shoe Yeah, fucking asshole. All right. Anyway, Danny's personal assistant. I hope that one. I don't Um Race car driver We'll take that Give you some cool Do they make a lot of money? Yeah, if you're good I was just I didn't know if they if they did because I know like

You know, usually when you like in the NBA you win something. Yeah poor champagne on each other. They win some they drink milk I'm like, well, there's it, you know We're celebrating with milk. Mm-hmm. I don't even drink milk. Yeah I might have to get like almond milk in there or something which I'm not even like crazy about but like I'll do it Yeah, I'm overthinking this. No, yeah, you're not overthinking it. You're just trying to live your life. I always do this. Yeah, it's fine Proctologist Ass man ass man behind you There it is. Let's go

Proctologist nice not nice. Not nice. I don't want to dig in there all day I'm digging butts Listen like anal and like butt stuff is only cool because it's rare at one point at what point in your life Are you like, you know what? I want to work on people's assholes. I just want to like just get in there I want to be at a mechanic for an asshole. Yeah, base basically pop the hood Spread the cheeks spread the cheeks spread the hood I imagine being able to look into someone's asshole and know like there's something wrong with it If I look into an asshole, I think it's something wrong with it already. Yeah, I mean there is yeah, it's an asshole

It's gross. That's one. Yes. That's what's wrong Number two, you're letting me look at it. That's problem Okay, Jesus, how do you get in there? I just don't know how you wait. How do they actually do they do they camera scope? Yeah, they put a colonoscopy. We just created cameras. They had to have been like Car jacking and then yeah flashlights. They were cranking that beehull a minor a Minor helmet. Yeah, the flashlight looking in there coming out all like cover all dirty and like cracking a beer open Like they just work a long day. Yeah, like what's What's this like reason you started looking into asshole, that's what I'm saying like what was going on like and also like telling your

What are you expecting to find? I don't know Somebody's butthole started hurting People used to die from diarrhea. Remember Oregon Trail? Wow, you die from dysentery all the time Yeah, which is a fancy word for diarrhea Say what diarrhea used to kill people. That's crazy. I got diarrhea like fucking Like I I might sneeze as many times if I as I've had diarrhea Once a week, I think something's wrong. Yeah, I'm like, wait, hold on. Why is it working out? No?

This is too solid and healthy of poop. Oh My god, we can't go one week without talking about poop. It's hard. All right, it's hard But poop is poop. Yeah fucking poop poop. All right poop. I don't say poop that way you say it like Super Mario poop Hey, how do you want me to say poop? Poop I can't poop. You know what it is you you you accentuate the the ending P poop What like that's what that's yeah, I say poop. I say poop and I close my mouth poop you go poop Poop You puff you know poop. Let me annunciate the poop. Hey poop. All right. Anyway, all right

What's my last job? Proctologists and then I want you to have a really really bad one coal miner cow milker Is it bad, I mean it's milk I'm not great about milk although have you ever done that? Yeah, I've shook the cows to it It's kind of dope. I know it's great, but it kind of feels like you're jerking them off. You are am I? Just weird that you could go like this to a cow's titties and milk comes out Just like this. Yeah, I Kind of like it. It's weird that women have milk too. I

Just said this the other day women make milk From nothing, I know just Generates they have sometimes it just comes out. I know unwarranted milk. Oh Unwarranted milk. Would you taste breast milk? I? Would yeah, I would I wouldn't like oh, yeah, I'll just shoot this I'll just like like how you drink tea. Yeah, I gotta do that. I think it's sweet. I Don't know. I don't know. It's probably really good for you. Yeah, it probably is it's like insure Mad potassium and like full of nudes. Yeah, I don't know mad nudes. I don't know. All right, so cow milker. All right, that's it

Salary here we go one billion dollars I'll be the richest cow milker in all the land. Well, that'll be wealthy enough for you, wouldn't it? Yeah Yeah, there you go $500 a year. Yeah, not good. Yeah Next one let's say 550,000 Okay, that's that's good. I'll take that 50,000 not 550,000. No, no 50,000 and then the next one zero

No money. No money You know, it's not have assets. We got no money. You got no money. Can't pay them off. Can't do it kids 69 Imagine I'm in 69 kids. Oh my god. One of them's got to be bound to be famous, right? Yeah 69 no, I don't think those add up. I always think of that too like Like families that have like three kids and they're all like professional athletes. Yeah, just like dude You guys just kill in the game. Yeah super sperm and super eggs gonna say that dude's dicks full of magic

I know like John like John Jones family You got to give that spurn up for science. You just got to start making more athletes. They're amazing. We want. Yeah We want to see it. Yeah My dad sperm sucks. All right, here's the next one All right Four kids three kids three kids is what I want so you're gonna dad's three kids. All right, so let's put three kids there Yeah You ever see your dad's balls fall out of shorts

Dude, my dad would come downstairs at one in the afternoon in Boxers that were barely boxers anymore. It was basically out. It was like a skirt I've seen this dude's dick balls and whatever else is down there Numerous times in my life. If you gave me that pen and paper, I'd be able to draw it for you That's what I'm trying to say. It's you could do it. Yeah, just for memory. Just for memory There's a point in your life where you reach an age where you're just like I don't even care who sees my dick and balls He didn't because my friends will be over and he come down at one o'clock in the afternoon on a Sunday Where everyone used to come to my house and watch football. How you doing dick out not dick out?

But it's like, you know, he's in it, you know, definitely teasing it definitely teasing it You know like Tarzan wears that flap. Yeah, somehow his dick never pops out. It's kind of like one of those things Like it could happen. It's probably not going to but it could yeah Like every time he walked by you you were unsure. You're like, I don't know if that was a ball or his leg or You know, they're like your peripheral. So peripheral. Yeah peripheral Move forward cuz you're not gonna get that kids seven and then kids none. Okay Seven kids. Jesus. All right. Yeah, so now I'm gonna do the circle. Wait. What's the mystery one?

Oh, I can't tell you when the fuck am I gonna find out about this thing as soon as you do the circle thing Right after okay. All right Stop Seven seven I think you had seven did it. All right, so let's do it again. Okay stop Eight All right, so we got eight. All right, so we're gonna count this off remember. Yeah, all right So the mystery one though that I added Peepie size

Can I know the lengths? Oh, yeah, okay first one is one and one-half inch. Oh, so real. Yeah, that's that's valid Yeah, you have one and one-half inch. You ever wear like basketball shorts with no underwear and Like your whole outline your penis. You're like, yo, my penis is so small like I need to go put underwear on You know like when you wear and there's no there's nothing just blocking it like you're just flopping around Yeah, you can see the rim. Yeah, or the ring the rim. I think the rim is better rim is back There's the back backside back door the ring. I'm talking about the ring of the dick. Yeah. Yeah, the tip Yeah, the tip the tip ring the base. Yeah, no, that's not the base. I don't know. I don't know

But yeah, don't wear basketball shorts with no underwear. Well the story gets number two three incher Okay, we're getting warmer now. Yeah, we're getting warm Six inches slash thick. So it's six. Give me some thickness. Yeah, six, but it's thick. Okay, six Six and it's thick and then nine slash monster dog. Oh, that's a big a fuck. Yeah, meet hammer there big girtha Oh, yeah, plethora penis. All right. Here we go. You ready? Yep, eight. You gotta start with him. I know, okay already knows coming off One two three four five six seven eight say goodbye to Kelsey grammar. Damn. No Frasier You will not be on the Frasier reboot. Whatever that do kind of reminds me of like lurch

Who's lurch from the Adam's family? Oh that guy lurch. Yeah lurch is kind of creepy. Yeah, all right No, Willie mammoth Well, there goes fucking that yeah, I know that would have been cool Willie mammoth would have been the best one honestly because nobody else in the world would have had it I know fucking make a IG for it. Hell. Yeah. What I what would I name him like? Willie Willie the woolie mammoth. Yeah fire. Yeah Willie the woolly. Yeah, all right Not gonna make zero dollars a year. Well, that's good news. That's great news. I'm gonna need some money

It's also fiscally impossible Ooh, good good good way to use that word. Yeah moving forward Four five six seven eight. Goodbye to the monster dick. This isn't this isn't This isn't working out nine inch monster. I would love a nine inch dick You have six and under so you're holding off. This is like dealer. No deal where you had the 500,000 case and Everything else is like you only have one of the good cases left I think we should do an odd number though of circles because I feel like we knocked off all the bottom ones, right?

Yeah, but it's gonna is they're all four. Yeah, but now it's now they're even now, but now it's still gonna be the same thing No, it's gonna be one the top one. Oh, no, it's not you're right. Yeah. All right. Here we go Your car no BMW getting repoed See you later. There horse. I'm down. Never mind. You're forward. Yeah, you still got some left. All right. Here we go You're not my personal assistant Fucking god, I don't have to suck anyone's toes. I know I would have made you you would made me suck your toes I would have made you clean my aim. All right. Here we go. One two three four five six seven eight not gonna have three kids So it's either 69 or seven 69 or seven or zero. Okay, Jesus Christ one two three four five

Six seven eight not gonna live in a shack. Well, that's good news because I might have 69 fucking children If you had 69 people in a shack It'd be tight. It'd be tight. It would look like a Japanese train Yeah, why do they do that? People do that. It can remain to the train. It's it's violent. I know where is that? It's like Hong Kong or something. I don't know and they're pushing everyone into the train and like there's there's no room Imagine that was your job to show people into a train instead of the officer being like hey Just wait for the next train. He's fucking throwing elbows into this lady's back like get the fuck on you got to get to work

Get on the fucking train. It's crazy. It's backed out parties. All right. Here we go Would we knock off okay go check one two three four No giraffe So now I have Charlie or a bat. Oh my god. I know Charlie, please please Charlie. All right. Here we go. Yep $50,000 are gone. Okay. Can you not count silently? Oh, okay. All right. Sorry. We're on a podcast. It's true It's true. I'm trying to run a show here. I hear you. I hear you Wait, what am I not getting 50,000 so it's a billion or 500 billion or 500. Oh god. All right. This is dealer No deal one two three four five six seven eight. No apartment. Oh mansion our house mansion our house super chill

You're living your living situation. It's gonna be fine living nicely. Yeah. I'll take I would say comfortably Yeah, yeah a house very nice. Hell. Yeah. Good for you. Thank you One two three four five six seven eight you're gonna get to keep Charlie Charlie. Good boy We're staying but we're art life imitates art Okay, that was a good fucking attempt at something. I know what was that? I don't know. I'm art in the what art is art Okay. All right. Here we go one two three four five six seven eight not gonna have zero kids You're having seven or 69 my friend. All right one two three

Seven kids still a lot of kids fucking way too many Like 69 is ridiculous seven to me kind of is just as ridiculous. I'd rather have 69 But at this point we're fucking around. Yeah, they can all take care of each other at some point you Yeah You know open up a country. Yeah, you can get your own zip code after that You don't have to open up an LLC or something. That's way too many people. Yeah, it's way. Yeah, you can't you can't do that You know protect yourself at all times. Yeah one two three four five six seven eight say goodbye to J. Lo So you're gonna end up with whoopee or Roseanne bar

Fuck Roseanne kind of weird how it came down to these two word. This is a battle of the races. There you go. I Like whoopee. I love whoopee Goldberg Roseanne bar though. Why'd you have a Jewish last name? I Don't know that can't be her real name stage name. Maybe her real name can't be whoopee or Goldberg She's she's like she was in little little little rascals and she was also just direct coach of the New York Knicks You ever see that movie which movie she's a I can't remember the movie, but she coaches the New York Knicks Oh, I don't know that. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Anyhoo sir one two three four Five six seven eight you make five hundred dollars a year. Well, at least I'm married to someone who's who has a lot of money

Yeah, that's why you could end up in a mansion because you could just be like I'm moving with either Roseanne or whoopee Goldberg. Yeah, I Really hope it's whoopee Goldberg I'd also just be cool be like, you know, my wife is whoopee Goldberg whoopee here we go Joe and whoopee Joe and whoopee We can have our own reality show. Yeah, your podcast would blow up. Hell. Yeah, Joe and whoopee You'd be out of here just back to back like this What's going on this week Joe and Joe and whoopee okay, all right one Two three four five six these penis sizes are still there Seven eight living in a mansion kid living in a mansion, which is fitting because that's why how did I know that you were gonna get mansion?

Baller we could all be you One two three four five Six seven eight you're not gonna be a cow milker damn that would have been dope So you're either gonna drive a race car or play with people's buttholes Hey, it's your life. Yeah, I don't know if I'm over either way I make it $500 a year I'm not good at either of those things. I still can't get over how people go and people's buttholes for a living I can't I don't know I can't I just can't one two three four five six seven eight Whoopee Goldberg

Me and whoopee in that mansion kid exchange of those vows you might be on the view to hell Yeah, I'm gonna be in a few talk about you I would just come out like Valentine's Day on that episode with a bouquet But oh my god whoopee and Joe and they would show like pictures like on the screen of like cute things you do Yeah, oh picking and shit. Yeah, I love whoopee Goldberg and a turtleneck Yeah, do you ever wear turtlenecks? No, I think we're gonna add them to my my my fit like my shit I don't think so. Why not you look weird in one Yeah, probably yeah

Thanks for killing my confidence. Okay, one two three four five six seven eight With the blicky uh, hit you with the sticky uh, you're gonna have sixty nine First of all, that's a lot of sticky up. I'm banging the hell out of whoopee. Yeah whoopee's squeezing them out Or she's just mad fertile having like eight at a time. Yeah Fertility is a big deal. Yeah, here we go Fertility is a big deal What was that? Here we go. Okay, one two three. Oh wait, let me circle whoopee. Yeah circle whoopee

One two three four five six seven eight your race car driver this sucks Yeah, you used you would have been able to play with people's butts Now you gotta drive cars just make left turns all day loser. They make five hundred dollars a year Yeah, but I'm banging the hell out of whoopee. That's six and nine kids and your life is like you kind of you're kind of a bad ass Like race car drivers kind of bad ass, right? who I Don't know Dale Earnhardt jr. Dale Earnhardt senior Jeff Gordon's The intimidator use badass. I don't even know what you're talking about

That was a thick name. All right Well, and and yeah and the kids holy shit now. We just have penis size and cars They go I'll probably have a nice car, but the one inch dick. Yeah one two three four five six seven eight The three inch penis is gone No, only thing left in the penis size category is one and one half inch and six, but it's thick six, but it's thick You're living life. Yeah, you're living Dude doing great Oh my god, okay, I'm so scared one two three four five six seven eight you don't have a horse

Well, this is ridiculous. Yeah Sucks my wife's gonna have to buy that for me if I want it will be kind of for the horse I mean, I can't with $500 a year. How much is a horse? They're a lot. They're like 20,000 Really? Yeah, or like, I don't know. Yo, you can actually buy a horse. Yeah, I could buy a horse Where the fuck am I gonna put a horse out of a New York City? Yeah, man places out here. No, they don't What would you name a horse? That would take some time. It would take some time. Yeah Take your time

I would name my horse something cool like Like like let me hold that Let me get $5 what if you name your horse eat my dick is there rules against your horse? Of course, you can't you can't enter a horse into the Belmont says eat my dick. Why not it'd be awesome Dick, I got eat my dick is ten to one today. He's in lane five Dick hurts. Okay. All right Where do we just mark off horse horse? Okay. One two three four five Six seven eight. No, El Dorado. You have an electric razor scooter

Which is pretty fucking sweet I live in a mansion making $500 a year and I drive an electric razor scooter and I drive race cars. Are you a four-year-old? I don't know It's like a four-year-old. Yeah, just waiting till Christmas $500. Oh my god. Whoopee. God bless you. Well, everything is selected except the dicks except for the size of your penis And it's and I'm gonna lose the six inch Because it's even Let's still count it out one two one two three four five six seven eight

You Yo, this is I am the worst husband of all time. You're four-year-old You're legitimately four years old One and one half inch penis Whoopee, go over to your mom not your spouse Look at this I am the worst husband across the board. This is this is a child though. I am a child Whoopee married a child. Yes. This is disgusting. It is

She lives in a mansion. Mm-hmm. Probably. Yes I have an electric razor scooter child I have a pet named charlie a dog. All right. Childish. Yeah I'm a race car driver. Yeah in your dreams, kid. Yeah, you're a race car race car bed race car bed Did you ever have one of those? No, I I never wanted that. No Uh, uh, $500 salary Which probably birthday money. Yeah 500 bucks. That's all right Kids 69 kids now we're getting tricky. Yeah

Is whoopee getting banged By you and then having 69 kids. Yeah, that has to be previous marriage Probably yeah, these are step all step kids. Yeah, uh, and then my my penis is one and one half inch I am I'm a kid. I'm a kid. You're a four-year-old boy. We just we just magically turned a game of mash Into a like a pedophilia case. Yeah. Yeah, we might just fix this in post We have to shred this is what we have to do. We have to shred this piece. That can't come out ever No, because someone's gonna see it and go, okay

What's going on? What I wonder what's the most amount of kids somebody's ever had Like a family. Yeah, like I don't know. That's a good question Oh, I think I think I didn't know this once That's a weird sound not at once. No, no, no, but I heard like just like in their entire life Yeah, like I heard this out for pound chance. You gotta figure all the pharaohs in Egypt probably had thousands of kids They were fucking yeah, but different different different ladies. That's what yeah, I'm talking about a one lady. Yeah Oh, I don't know about that. Yeah, how much could one vagina take?

I'd say like 15 15 kids. Yeah. No, they could be I mean max capacity. I think they could do like in the 20s No way. Yeah, vagina can do 20s Really? Yeah Good for them, man Think about around along the line. You're gonna have twins somehow, right? It's true or trips someone's gonna hit you Someone's gonna hit you for that daily double. Yeah, you know the thing people also commented that we missed on last week octo mom Eight kids octo mom the fuck is that sound strange? I don't know something with the mic. I don't know hot mic hot mic Octo mom

Where's she nuts? She's crazy. I don't even know where one of those eight kids are now How fertile do you have to be? It's true to just I'm pregnant with eight fucking big. How does your body even like I carry that around? Yeah, how is that allowed? It's not allowed All right before we go on, uh, let's get to the sponsors here starting with blue apron, which is a Uh meal delivery service. Okay, so what happens is you sign up for blue apron and a box will show up to your door With pre-portioned meals with instructions on how to make these things Uh It's one of the greatest inventions in the world to be honest with you

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Keep all five items in your box and you'll get 20 25 off your entire purchase. That's stitch fix dot com slash basement Once again stitch fix dot com slash basement Anyway, yo speaking of fertile. Do you watch handmaid's tale on hulu? Yeah. Oh, I love it I'm a big handmaid's guy. You are. Yeah, it's awesome. You finished season two. Yeah, fucking love that show a little weird though It's pretty sad. It's fucked up. It's fucked up I rarely come away from that show feeling good about myself. Oh, I feel terrible because it's all about like dudes being the worst people ever Yeah, they're like taking people's eyes and taking babies and raping chicks It's fucked a lot of rape a lot of rape too much and a lot of like violence

Yeah, too much rape. Well one rapes too, you know One rapes too much Here's the other thing too. Once they like said that women can't work anymore I'm leaving. Yeah, I'm like, I'm leaving. I'm out Peace. I'm not gonna stay. Nope. They gave my husband all my money He's financially irresponsible. Yeah, I would rather a woman have control of my money. Yes. Yeah, I would say 100% Yeah, that's the scariest thing. Imagine if that really happened Dude, uh, so for people who don't know, I mean

On hulu, there's the show called uh handmaid's tale Basically what happens is like one percent of the population is fertile and can have kids So the dudes just start raping. Yeah, and they make it weird like they make these women wear these weird outfits Which I don't know why they even wear those. I don't know. Why can't they wear jeans? That's what I'm saying. Dude, if it was me, right? So the guys put in all these like things in place like all these rules where they're like, all right, you can only Uh, like there's like a ceremony like the way that they have sex Like the the wives have to hold these handmaids and then the dude basically rapes this handmade while she's hold So you're there for the rape and they can't. Yeah, accomplice accomplice

And you can't touch Can't touch no beaches or looks you can't suck wean. Yeah, you can't suck wean or get wean sucked No, well, that's the real no one wants to suck their wean. This is all yeah, or eats this Or eats niz. Yeah, none of that either. No oral. None of that. No oral. Nothing. No mouth stuff. Yeah Yeah I couldn't do it's fucked up. I couldn't live without that either. No need a little beach and age and and age Why not? Yeah, all those things. He's he's a hand job. Oh, I think it meant like head job Oh, no

Well, that sounds like yeah a little creepy. But yeah, but like it's stuff like they take girls fingers off Yeah, they cut someone's fingers. Oh, because the girls are not allowed to read. They're not allowed to read It's weird and if here's my thing, right? If the dude if I'm the dude and I'm like, yeah, I'm creating all these rules So you can't Read you can't do this Like I'm not gonna like enforce these weird outfits like oh you have to wear this outfit Yeah, and like it's like a red robe and like a white hat or something. It's it's it's the robe Or or the books gotta let him have one. Yeah, you got at least let me read here, you know

Yeah, it's just like if you're gonna make me not be able to read. Let me dress how I want Exactly, you know, I'm not it not only that but if I'm a guy, let's get some bikinis in here Yeah, or like some yoga pants. It's hot. Let's get crazy Short shorts daisy dukes red robe doesn't get me hot not me not at all unless it's like it can open And there's some cleave showing or something That would be nice, but you got them all walking around like milkmates. Yeah, I don't like that. I mean either Do you think we'd be good handmates? Do you think me and you would be good handmates? Yeah, are you asking me if you think I would be good at getting raped?

No, no, no like like like one of the good ones Like you can get out Oh, I get out like I don't want to give too much away for like people that don't watch right But like could you like get out? I'm getting out of there. I probably get sent to the colonies I'll tell you what right now I would convince whoever was raping me that I wanted to suck his ween and then I just bite that dick off Yeah, but I'd bite some ween too. I'd you know, I'd be biting dicks off less than right. I'd be known in the town Yeah, but you would end up on the wall

Right, they hang people they hang people if you bite winners. Yeah. No, actually you could he would get they would string you together Or they would stone you. Yeah under his eye. Yeah under his eye. Yeah, bless it be antlidia too. Fuck a bitch. Yo that fucking asshole That's uh But I'll give it too much away Antlidia is one of the worst people ever. She's disgusting. She's horrible. She reminds me of mistrunchable from Matilda also a good movie No raping that movie though. No, no rape, but that closet was kind of rapey It was yeah now that I'm looking back on it. Yeah, not a fan of that not a fan of that Right, I would try to escape every time though

From from what gilead? Yeah Easily. Yeah. Well, the reason why people don't is because you get shot or hung or you know, or you go to that prostitute place Oh, yeah, I would have been a great prostitute. Yeah. Yeah, but at least let me earn some coin Yeah, let me get something out of this. Yeah or some meals or some shower tokens or something. I'll bang a commander. Fuck it Hell, yeah, that's another thing dudes Are called commanders. Yeah, and then the wife is pretty dope Commander. Yeah. Yeah, it makes you feel cool. Yeah, so it's like commanders

Uh wives are uh marthas. No marthas are maids. Oh, right. So the wives are just just wives wives or just wives Yeah, but they even have to wear stuff. Yeah, they have to wear like blue star tricks. No one wears jeans Everyone's in a suit or like this dress like why are we going backwards? All right, why is this like, you know the 13 colonies and then for the people who do watch the show? Yeah Are you team nick or team luke? Oh No, I don't know either I can't decide

I hope they have like a three-way. I know I don't want to go any further. I don't want to give any spoilers. No way. You should watch the show though I would watch the show. Yeah, it's really it's really good. I think in a society where I don't know if I would definitely try to sneak people out Like you know those people that like try to like sneak out. Yeah, yeah, yeah like underground railroad I'd be one of those guys. Yeah. Yeah, I'd be like, come on. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. This is crazy

Yeah Even though I'm reaping all the benefits like let's get out of here Are there I wonder if there's any ones that are just nice like commanders that are like really just nice people though Probably not probably not too much power too much power too much power That show's gonna is awesome. Yeah, but it's it's How'd you get into it? I came home and I saw my sister my mom watching it and I'm like, what is this about and then like The most fucked up things happened in a matter of three minutes and I was like, I'm staying. Yeah, I'm gonna watch this shit

You know what I mean? It's dark. It's dark as shit. Super dark. It's crazy I wish I could say a bunch of stuff, but I don't want to spoil it for people. Yeah, let's not let's let's let bless be the fruit Under his eye too. He's watching. Yeah Would you rather have your eye taken out? Your finger cut off. Well your hand cut off Or What was the other one they do? Oh, oh, I don't say that one though. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that gives it away Yeah, but that one that one's fucked that one is fucked. Yeah what they did to that poor girl

Yeah, that is not good. Who writes this shit some fucking psych. That's what I'm saying Some psych like I listen. I get it. Do we have to have that? Too much. Do we need it? Just take out another eye or something. Yeah It's not that bad. Yeah, I That's one of the worst things that I've ever seen and I knew it immediately. So what you're asking is eye or finger Yeah, probably finger no hand or finger whole hand. Yeah hand or eye I don't know probably hand yet. No Why because there they don't give you like a cool metallic hand. Yeah, but what's his name?

Is in the NFL. He's got one hand. Yeah, sure. You make it happen Under his eye under his eye, but what I'm saying is that I'd rather have two eyes I would love to have two eyes, but but Two hands in that kind of world is a little more is a little you need a little more Because what if they send you to the colonies? You can't just be swinging with one hand. I don't know it's true though. I'm I'm taking take my hand take my hand Would you be who do you like more Emily or June?

June June bad. June's a fucking bad. Emily's a fucking badass. Yeah, but June's Emily's bad. Emily's a fucking badass all the girls on that show are kind of fucking awesome Now is the whole country Fucked Or is there normal parts? There's a good amount of fuckage in this country. Yeah Like I think the whole country Something happened, but they haven't said what it is yet. I know like it looked like like a bomb went off. Yeah Yeah, it's all speculation at this point nuclear nuclear type thing. Yeah

Blessed be blessed be blessed be the fruit I'm trying to think of the other one, but I can't remember it. He sent good weather Dude as soon as they'd lock up my bank account. I'm leaving. Yeah, I need that. Yeah. Hey, honey, we're all at five grand Let's get out of here. I'm leaving Yeah Oh You gotta Your eye works. Yeah

Praise be praise be um Yeah, but that show is so fucked up whenever I watch shows like that like you remember saw when it first came out You're like, yeah, who can write stuff like this like this is insanely you have to be a little sick to write something a little sick Yeah, you have to be a psycho was harry potter sick at all. No, it was awesome Dude, it was harry potters the fucking children are reading that you think people are getting raped in the castle No, you never know people were dying people were dying but from from like spells They weren't like dying because they got murdered at you know hogwarts. Oh, did they wait? Yeah, people got fucking murdered, man Actually, Voldemort was fucking slain dude. Yeah, he killed everybody. Yeah, and then Dumbledore died in real life. Yeah, Snape fucking

Oh, you mean like the actor. Yeah. Yeah Well, Snape died too Snape's dead. Yeah, damn Those series were good as shit. Did you read all the books? Did I read the books? What's your favorite book? I didn't read any of the books. Did you watch all the movies? Did I watch all the movies? You did. Yeah, watch some movies. What's your favorite movie? Mom was Goblet of Fire. I don't even remember them like I like that Chamber of Secrets, maybe chamber secrets with the snake. Yeah, Slytherin when he could just like Slytherin's a snake, right?

Yeah I would have wanted I would have wanted to live in Slytherin What I would have I would have wanted to live in the Slytherin house because they were like badasses Let me ask you a question if you Had to be like which which house do you think you would be in in Harry Potter like Gryffindor Hufflepuff Ravenclaw or Slytherin? I always feel like my whole life. I've never wanted like The one that I want so I would definitely end up in like

fucking Hufflepuff Yeah, I don't even know what those like things look like. I have to google them. I would end up in Hufflepuff Ravenclaw sounds sick I know they never got the they never got the right Hufflepuff either Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. They were just no give a shit about them. How do we not write that in? We have 400 books. We can't put one thing with Ravenclaw in it I'm gonna write a Harry Potter house. I'm trying to look at their logo Hufflepuff it's like a like a badger That's that's kind of awful Ravenclaw Ravenclaw is dope. Yeah, but you're not even a full Raven. You're just the claw

No, you're well Yeah, I don't know Gryffindor is the coolest one. Yeah, you want to that fucking hat would fuck me. I know it already I didn't know you were talking about it first. You're talking about the sorting hat. Yeah, that fucking piece of shit Yeah, you'd be like you're Slytherin. You'd be like, yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, man. Now I'm an asshole Yeah, but I but that'd be kind of cool. I would get you know if I got Slytherin immediately getting a facetab And another thing too is like that hat fuck that hat. Who's that hat? Who is that guy? God can just tell me where to sleep Most of them are fucking hat

What are you gonna do to me? Yeah, I could beat the shit out. What if I say no, I'll kick that hat's ass So I'm saying it's a stupid fucking hat. It's a stupid that I had to We don't have We don't have we have tons of wizards who are a thousand years old like no one's gonna make this decision And do they all have the same capacity these cabins? What is that these houses? Oh, we mean like to house like 50 50 50 50 Yeah Or is there a bunch of other people in Slytherin and I'm just stuck with like two like stupid kids

I think they do it by like personality like you can read like it's kind of like horoscopes Like oh, you're at Pisces you're sensitive. You're going to Ravenclaw. Where would you put me? You're the you're the sorting hat I don't know what the what what they mean. I need I need to look up the houses Slytherin is like the douche house I know that What do the harry potter Houses mean I think hufflepuff means you're a fucking bitch That's what I think so too. That's what I think we probably both a lump and hufflepuff

Yeah, we're both bitches. All right griffin door positive traits bravery daring I'm brave Athletic hey, I'm athletic while I was chivalrous Yeah popularity Yeah, we might we both have strong cases for griffin door negative traits arrogance Recklessness not really I have a little reckless A sense of self self righteousness

Yeah Um and an eye for an eye No, not I mean yeah, no no Slytherin positive traits cunning Ambition yeah resourceful for you. Yeah, these are all you pure lineage I don't know how that fits. I think you have to be a full wizard. You can't be a fucking uh a muggle and be in that Mud blood. Yeah, what they call it. Yeah negative traits a high sense of self preservation I don't know what that means

Oh shit, um ends justify the means I don't know what that means either. I don't want to go to a house and I'm confused I don't know how I got here This hat's gonna tell me that I'm self-righteous. They tend to be more lack They tend to be more lacks when it comes to morals and brought out the most dark wizards during Voldemort's time All right, so then you'd be like a dark and they're power hungry. All right. That's you Definitely not hufflepuff. Here we go humble Yeah

Benevolence don't know that word either. They do the right thing because it's the right thing not for glory or selfish reasons That's what that word means. Yes. All right You didn't know what it meant either you asshole. Yeah, but I got the phone so I can like hide behind that um Friendly very friendly. Yeah, very friend. This is hufflepuff. This is hufflepuff. Yeah, I think we're hufflepuff Hardworking They don't cheat or look for loopholes Good old-fashioned work

Negative traits lack of drive No, you're not hufflepuff. Not special. You're not you're so special. That's fucked up. Yeah Not special no wonder they they never covered hufflepuff. The negatives are terrible. The place sucks too humble also is a negative trait So these are like the nicest people in the world. Yeah, fuck that. Okay Um, probably good food and hufflepuff though Gray fruit. Yeah Ravenclaw intelligent We're both out Creativity back in back in we got one foot in the door Ravenclaw

Good looks Yeah Two feet in self-sufficient You are well Yeah, when it comes to certain things certain things negative Clicks they prefer to be in click. They're you're you're you're very clicky. I'm very clicky. You're a clicky bitch. Yeah She said they're like we're at brunch. I don't know Uh arrogant. Have you always been clicky?

I guess yeah, I'm like loyal you clicky Like I don't know what that means like you didn't have friends that like weren't popular You did you did so you're not clicky I'm clicky in the sense of like I've had the same friends forever Like I don't like I don't care to have more friends I have my you know you have your click, but you're not clicky as the sense of like I want to hang out with the popular crap. No, I was never like that. All right, because that was the most popular kid Everyone wanted to hang out everyone. Uh, I was the biggest griffin doer of all time. Uh, but yeah, that's it

And they're also arrogant. It says they look down on others on occasion since they are sexy nerds who make good grades Uh you up until like fourth grade, right? I didn't look down on people Joseph you didn't even know me back then. I am clearly a griffin doer Well, all right, so where are you placing me? Um Don't puff me You got you got to be puff puff daddy in the family. You got to puff daddy me. Yeah, you're puffed

All right puffed up. All right, you know what it is because you're very friendly. Yeah, you're a hard-working dude. Yeah Humble. Yeah, and you do the right thing because it's the right thing Yeah, but what were the negatives though? Like I'm too nice Yeah I think that's true lack of drive Sometimes sometimes and uh, not special Do I have to have all those traits? No. All right, I'm assuming it's person to person I told you that fucking hat was gonna put me there. Yeah, you puffed that fucking had to piece of shit

I love how they made griffin door the best things ever. Yeah, and the negative ones are still cool shit like that Is so awesome when you're a kid though. What like Not i'm not getting selected to a wizard house, but like getting selected to like A good dodgeball team in in in class One of the best feelings. Do you remember steal the bacon? Yeah I feel the bacon was awesome capture the flag. We never played that Geez never played after the flag really. I know what it is. Yeah, we never played it steal the bacon

That was a great one. Does anyone not know what that is? Uh, probably explain it to him So you take a bowling pin and you put it in the middle of the gym That's so awesome And then you split up the whole class one side on this side one side one side on this side You hear me? Yeah Half of the class goes on one side half the class goes on the other And then you get assigned a number the guy calls out that number and you guys have to run And then you have to grab the bowling pin and then run back to your seat without getting tagged

By the person Well, we used to do is we did a variant on it We put two basketballs at half court whoever made it whoever made it in first Yeah, we did that sometimes we call that line basketball line basketball or one time we did line soccer Line soccer. Yeah, that sounds awful. It was kind of cool. No, it sounds it was it when you it's basically like basketball except you have to kick it at the kids At the line and try to get it past them where the hole where you're, you know, whatever

Yeah, so you never got to work with kids I used to work at camp and we used to play these games all the time Just whipping balls at these kids dude one time I mean just letting them rip my sister and Keith worked at the school that I used to go to my elementary school And they worked in after school program and one day Shaden couldn't go she said can you go for me? Right And I was like, yeah, so I went and I was like helping kids at home or whatever But then it came to gym time

And I was just sitting there, you know, I was taking shots doing whatever and you know, just hanging It was just one kid on the basketball court that was being a dick. Yeah, all right, and he was acting like he was the best So I was like, oh, I'm gonna play, you know, whatever. I'll play with this kid because he was tiny whatever He wasn't really getting burned. It's always nice. You like pick like the kid that like nobody likes. I'll play with this kid, right? Checks the ball. I shoot it immediately hit a free throw the kids like Whoa Right because hitting a free throw is like basically hitting a half court shot Yeah, and then I get the ball. I pass at the kid. He misses. Yeah now the asshole gets the ball

All right, he's getting fourth grade. I'm going to my fucking asshole. Yeah kids could be asshole. He's a dick. Fuck him He tries to heal. He shoots the ball. I fucking block this shot As hard as humanly possible Hey, you ever hit a ball and you hear like the sting Yeah, like that Smack the fire at her and then Keith's like, what the fuck you doing? I told him what happened. He's like, oh, it's on Every time that kid went to go shoot me Keith sent it punch the shit just sent it I was dunk on kids. I used to love dunking on kids. Oh, it's great. Just fucking throwing it down. What are you talking about?

Are you dunking? Yeah, we played on like real hoops. No, no, no, no. We had kid hoops. Oh, no We had we had a real one. I was fucking tomahawking. Oh, yeah, I'll dunk on a kid dunk The shit out of it. You know, it used to be my shit I used to throw it off the glass and fucking catch it one hand and slam it and like knock him on the ground It was great. I love that. Yeah, these are children by the way. Yeah children Who can't defend themselves? Yeah, anyway, and they would laugh they would laugh it off most of the time The worst is when you accidentally hurt one. Yeah, and you got to get him to stop crying Yeah, but you also take a second you're like, yeah, I'm like, yeah, fuck this kid

But then I'm like, yo, it's all right, man. Everything's cool. Please don't tell on me. Yeah, please. Um, Your fault you learn Don't get in my way. Oh, did I ever tell you a story how I got fired from a camp once? For what? Oh my god. This is terrible. I don't even know if I don't think I should tell it now Okay, I'm gonna tell it. All right. So you're already fired. Yeah. Yeah, so yeah, I'm not gonna lose your job No, so there's this kid that at the camp everyone This is gonna get good. There's a kid at the camp everyone called him orph So I thought like his like last name was like oh and door for something like everyone called him orph orph

Don't say he's an orphan. Yeah, so I'm like, yo orph like we're playing this game like let's go. We're gonna like we're playing this he starts crying So I was like, yo, like does he not like basketball or like kickball whatever we were doing I get called to the office And my boss at the time goes did you call so-and-so orph? I said, I thought that was his name I thought it was his nickname. He was adopted Yeah

Kids are terrible terrible. I'm the one over here thinking his name is orph. I'm calling him orph like a week for orphan for orphan I've got fired rightfully so It was a mistake. Can't call kid orphan. Yeah It's true. Damn, that's fucking I never called him orphan. I called him orph because I thought that was his nickname And he went with it for a while and then one day he just broke Poor kid

Yeah, so I got fired for calling a kid orph Yeah Kids are ruthless. I know kids are probably the meanest people on earth. Hell. Yeah. Yeah Like I never really got made fun of to be honest with you. Oh, I got bullied once. I beat the shit out of my bully once Easy big guy I beat the shit out of him. Yeah, he called me mexican He would call me he would call me mexican every day. Why because you're sort of like brash. Yeah, he called me the n-word Jesus. Yeah, that's gonna get started to get punched. Yeah, so one day I said, you know what I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

So I waited for him because we at this point everyone walked home from school So I said, I'm gonna wait for him to come here. I'm gonna beat the shit out of him And I beat the fucking piss out of him. Nice right there. Yeah Being the shit out of a bully when you're that is like you just want the Super Bowl I went home just being like I'm a man. But then I went to school the next day Kid nothing nothing quiet quiet. There was this one time. I got no mexicans now There was one time where In middle school, there was this little kid kelvin

who To be honest with you I wasn't getting bullied He was he was smaller than me. It was like this little skinny asian kid And his name was kelvin and he was making he was making fun of me and I was just like Dude I knew in the back of my mind like dude, I could kill you. I'm gonna kick a little Chinese ass I could fuck you up right now. Okay, but I was like, dude and stop whatever

And as we were walking out of class like you know back in the day fighting was everything. It was awesome It was like, yo, I'm gonna fuck this kid up like everything. It was all about fighting So I don't know why he I guess he thought because I was dismissive of it that I was like, I'm not gonna fight this kid So he was like, oh, I got him so I could keep saying it so he looks like a bitch and I look cool What was he calling you? He wasn't really calling me names. He was just making fun of me in general I don't remember specifics. I was just like I didn't care. So I was like, dude enough like asian bully. That's rare, dude So I feel like they're very passive people and they're very nice. They're great Um, but I walked out of class and I was and he said something to me

I was just like whatever dude. I just kept walking and then he pushed me Kelvin got and like you ever get pushed from behind you like stumble. Oh, oh, oh, yeah There's people around too. Yeah. I'm in the hallway in school. Yes. So I'm like, I know Now I gotta yeah, now I gotta so I just stopped and I turned around I even punched him in the face I punched as hard as I could hit him in the chest Yeah, and his arms just went like this and he fell on the floor with the matrix Yeah, and then and then a teacher The assistant principal grabs my hand. It was a woman. Yeah, and I like

Slapped her hand off of me. Oh, did she like overplay like oh, no, no, no so So I slapped her hand off of me and then I ran after this kid and like got on top of him And before I could hit him again Then she like ripped me off of him and then it was so funny because they called my dad And like they told him all this stuff and then when I got home my dad was in bed He was uh, he was like a fireman. He was working like yeah, I'm fucking half asleep So he was laying in bed and I walk over and I'm and he uh

Whoever brought me home was like your dad was to speak to you. So I went upstairs for this room And I was like hey like an office. Yeah, I was like hey, and he's just like he's not even looking at me He's looking at the wall You fought that kid Like yeah It's like what do you do? Like he he was talking to me and then he like pushed me You punch him in the face

No rolls over looks at me Next time punch him in the face rolls back over. That was it. That was extended the conversation And then and then like I remember later later on I was telling that story because it was funny And my dad's like I'll be honest to you I couldn't be more proud when they called me and told me that you need this kid If I ever get a phone call that my kid beat up somebody like justifiably If I I'll buy you what I'm not gonna tell you but I'll buy you whatever you want that day, right?

I'm not gonna say it, but if he was like, huh, man, I just feel bad. I'd be like Let's go to game stop Let's go look around Yeah, you know what I mean? You should sign up sign them up for boxing classes But if I find out my kid's a bully though I'm duck taping that kid to the wall. Yeah But that usually makes them bullies Sorry

Eye for an eye Maybe I'm helpful. Yeah. Wait. I think that was no that raving car raving claw. No, it was eye for an eye Is griffin door. Why do you get cooler stuff than me? I don't know you have Gucci cologne now I'm fucking slacking on my mac in here I got fucking like six hundred dollars sneakers on. Yeah This guy's got Gucci cologne and there's a griffin door. Yeah Let's trade probably got smoky chicks at griffin door. Hell. Yeah. Oh god. Where did her miney live? I don't know. Oh, she was griffin door. She was griffin door. Yeah, Emma Watkins hot

She's all right for like she's like normal hot. Yeah, like you could go to school with her hot You know what that means You know what that means. Well, like if someone's so hot, you're like, oh, I wouldn't even be in the same school Is that No, no, no, like you ever see someone. It's so hot that you're like Well, yeah, like I would never run into them never because they would never be around me They would never do the same things I do. What do hot people do? I don't know. They don't do the same thing so hot

That they just don't associate with the rest. Yeah, and they have little hot people secrets Like they do little hot people stuff. Yeah, but I what I meant by She's hot like you could go to school like she would be she would be like the hottest girl in your school Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean, like she's not to the point where she's like it's astronomically amazingly hot person So like school hot school hot Okay, you know because I I know you mean like I don't really know what you mean by school hot But I know the other kind of hot like because now with instagram you see everyone around the world

You didn't go to school with anybody like that. You see someone so hot and you're like What do these people even do in life? Yeah, like it just looks like they're always around Like crystal clear water. Yeah, there's a bunch of fruit around and they're just hot as fuck and just like ice Ice and like Swarovski Swarovski diamonds. Yeah crystals. That's how I mean how you we don't even know how to pronounce Yeah, that's how not hot we are. Yeah, they're a whole new level of yeah Like listen, like we're attractive guys, but we're not hot hot. Come on. Like we can be hot if like But we have to have everything happen correctly. Yeah, like the the planets need to align. Yeah for us to be hot Yeah, I'm not just hot 24 seven like we're hot like Hayley Hayley's comet hot like every like 85 days. Yeah, so

It's so true though, you know, I would say you ever have one of those days Where you honestly look in the mirror to be like, you know, I'm fucking hot today. I'm hot. Yeah I have that way less days. Yeah, then the yeah Well, I'm having better days now because I lost that weight right, but I still have some days. I'm like Let's cut back. Let's cut back Some days I wake up and I'm like, I can't believe you let yourself get to this Yeah, I know and then it could be the total next day. You're like, I'm looking fucking good. Look how good I look Scientifically not one part of you changed. Yeah

Isn't that crazy? It's weird, but I don't want to get off the topic school hot. Okay What I met by school hot. Mm-hmm is that Those girls you see on instagram, they were never in your school They at a home school. I don't know they went to a village where everyone was just sexy as shit. You know, yeah That's another thing you ever see like hot ass fucking actresses. It's like, oh, she went to school with Denzel. It's like I see what you're doing. Yeah, you put all these hot people In the same area. You're stashing the hot. Let's get a hot one. Yeah throw a hot one at us Dangle it out like Megan Fox. Who the fuck went to school with Megan Fox? No one. No one

no one Super smoke We get James Franco. He went back to school. He's not hot. He's not hot. Come on. I think you're better looking than James Franco You're hot. You're I'll go on record and say you're hotter than James Franco. Thank you. You're welcome Even me though, I dropped out of college. So I'm not even in that part of school. I went to school, you know high school Middle school elementary school. Yeah, that's good Element, I'm happy you went to elementary school. Thank you. That's very cool Yeah, you wouldn't bang Emma Watson

Here's the thing about Emma Watson, right? I feel this way about a lot of people you'd be surprised. I can rattle them off if you if you want. Yeah, let's let's do it All right, fine. So there's some people that are like celebrity hot, but I don't think they're hot Yeah, because I try to strip away all that and I go if I walked into a bar and this girl was standing at the bar Would I be like I need to I need to get in the air and try to strike up a car. Yeah. Emma Watson's one of them Attractive girl, but I'm not going out of my way You know because you think by the way, this is all

On looks this has nothing to do with her personality. I don't even give you. Yeah, exactly. That's another thing quick set sidebar No one's talking to anybody If they don't like how they look exactly sorry lost first lost first. Yes. I have to picture You naked before I go let's find out what this person now looks like We were completely negating last week's episode by the way. Oh, yeah Big time episode or whatever. Right. So here's what's going on Taylor Swift is another one not hot not hot not hot not into it Emma Watson Taylor Swift. I think Emma Watson's Cute her she's cute. Yeah, I like cute over hot. Yeah

I'm a big cute guy I like cute. I love cute cute's more like Cute but also sexy. Yeah, just a twinge. Just a twinge. I don't know if that's a word twinge is definitely a word Joe if you don't know that twinge is a word. I'm sorry. We have to really work on your vocabulary That's the one that sets this apart that strikes up your comments. You never heard the word twinge Who else we have Emma Watson Taylor Swift Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah, no, I'm not. I'm not. She's hot. She's hot. She's hot, dude Well, you went full california there. She's hot, dude. Take the 405

down for 70 No, I'm Yeah, I'm I'm I'm not a Jennifer Lawrence guy. I'm I'm all in on Jayla Who else Only thing I don't like about Jayla is that she tries to act like she's a normal person I hate how she's just always just like I just want to go home and eat pizza. It's like shut up Shut your fucking rich mouth. Yeah, all right. You're not like us anymore Yeah, you have 400 people that live at your house enough shut up. Someone picks out your clothes

Yeah, you dated Darren Arnavsky. Uh, it's like, so what are you wearing tonight? I'm wearing like this $400,000 dress, but I wish I was home wearing sweats and eating chicken wings and watching football Oh my god, right? Yeah I'm like, shut the fuck up. It's like enough. So I was watching the Victoria's Secret show and I was eating ice cream while watching it Yeah, and I was like, oh my god. I'm so fat. I'm so normal, right? It's like, no, you're very rich and a very talented actress. Yeah, and you just beat meryl streep Come on. All right. Act like it. Act like you've won before. Nobody that wears sweatpants beats meryl streep Zero piece of work. It doesn't work. Keep going. Keep rattling them off. She was the devil. I have a couple. I have a couple too

Okay and halfway Not a fan. Not a fan. Yo, thank you god. She's not hot You put her in a fucking cat woman suit though. I might think about it school hot No, not a school hot. Not school hot jay law is school hot Yeah, she's by the way. I'm saying jay law not jay low jay low is hot In an article that's why I said jay law. I didn't want to get confused. Yes. Okay good Um, who else she's school hot like if she went to your high school, you'd be like, yeah, she's she'd be the hottest girl

Who's Jennifer Lawrence? Yeah, I see. I'm it's just not my type But I would be like I like I can recognize I'm not saying she's I'd rather I'd rather date the Emma Watson Than the jay law because the jay law is gonna be way too fought after that. Everybody else take her Who else you got? Um the other one that I had You might feel this carry underwood Not a big fan You're not a fan of carry underwood. No, I'm not a big fan Really not if I was confident in in the amount of distance that I could spit I'd spit in your face

You could probably do it. I could I'm not confident. Don't do it. I mean, I'm so I'm so upset with you You're all in on carry underwood. She's you she is Without a doubt smoke. Okay. What danica patrick Smoker, I think she's hot. She's smoky. She's hot. Hell yeah Little fiery thing go daddy bad sb's house though. Oh and it can't drink Is she on your list? There's something I like about her. Yeah, there's something I like about him. She's got a good attitude. Yeah She's she's like I don't know but I could see why people don't think she's hot

I could see it as well But her personality like does it for me. Yeah, I'm like, I love everything about it. Yeah, like she's she'll she'll like Make sure you know, you're a bitch or something like she's she's like, yeah Well back down. She's more normal than Jennifer Lawrence. Right Jennifer Lawrence just sounds like a meme. Yeah, it's sounds like she was just going through like tweets and she's going Yeah, exactly. It's like over it. I'm over it. I wish I had a brownie enough Yeah, you haven't had a brownie since 1994. We know we know when you were born. Enjoy your celery. Okay You're a fucking oscar be famous and rich and very talented

Just but don't act like you're over here. So Emma Watson school cute school cute jayla school hot Sure, okay, but not my type not your type. But if you saw her in the hallway, you'd be like, uh, Okay, I'll look that up. Yeah, check that out. I'll follow her on Instagram. Yeah, I'll throw a follow there. Why not? You have any more? Um, who'd you say you said Ann Hathaway? I said Ann Hathaway. I said Carrie Underwood, which we disagreed on. That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of my life. Thanks for days though. I don't even know about that wouldn't even matter if she was legless I would still think she was hot. Yeah, I don't think her face is that hot Okay, you are entering the territory of asshole. No, come on. Who's hotter her even meant us

Well even meant yeah, see that's my type. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I like even I think in passing we've talked about even before Ryan Gosling hot guy too They're like their kid is going to be a smoke They're Easy to boy, but they're together Dude, they have two children together Yeah Even Mendez and Ryan Gosling. Yes, I don't even know how we allowed that to happen. I have a daughter. Her name's esmeralda

This is gonna be the hottest woman alive. I don't want to say it about a kid. What you're right I'm just saying that kid's gonna be hot. Come on. Come on. It's impossible foolproof plan. Yeah, jeez. They know what they're doing Yeah, I think they have two daughters. I think Gosling's a fucking smoke that guys That guy's good Yo, I did not know that they did that we didn't even like chris paul go to the lakers I know like we stopped that from happening. I didn't stop this from happening. This kid's gonna be too hot. I know I know

She's very hot. She's very hot. Yeah demilivato No School hot school hot. Yeah, school. Definitely school hot. Not my type not my type either Not my type definitely like would be the type of girl that drives like a white Honda Accord White car for white car for sure. Yeah, but if she went to my high school, she probably would drive like a Range Rover There was always like three or four rich girls like Albanians. No, I feel like Albanians always drive like yeah Greek Albanian, you know, they always have like white like Range Rover trucks or Range Rover. Yeah, exactly Just killing it. Yeah, it's like cheese. So we created it on the fucking bus right now

Yeah She's fucking always late. I like these categories school cute and school hot. Yeah, because Like Kate Beckinsale is just hot. You know, I'm really attracted to Charlize Theron. No Kristen Wiig Really? I school cute. I love Kristen Wiig. Yeah Like I love her but if you walked into a bar and saw her Would you talk to her? Based on your criteria before you're walking right by Kate Wiig. It's different because she's older the age gap I like that. I think older women are sexy me too. I think it's hot

If there's an age gap Like it can't be astronomical. No, but if I see you right if I see you and I'm like, okay Yeah Ambiguous looking. Yeah, I don't know if you're 36 37 you could be 32 or if you're 28. Yeah If you tell me 36 37 you're hotter to me. Really? Yeah Because if I don't know and I feel like wait if this person might be older and if they are then they're hotter sexual wisdom too 36 37

Yeah, you've been through it a 36 or 37 year old woman knows what they want. They're not playing games. No All right. They just want to take a young tomcat home. There's no like any like whatever It's just literally they'll say whip that dick out. Yeah, and oh and get out Yeah, and get the fuck out. Yeah, my kids got to be up in the morning. Yeah, get the fuck out. Yeah, yeah tomorrow's my day Yeah, tomorrow's my day with the kids. Maybe I'll call you Yeah, I got to go to my gynecology appointment. Yeah, so christen wig you a date I love christen wig. I would I honestly School cute if she was interested in me now school cute

I'd give it a whirl. Why not? I love christen. Oh, I'm poor Oh, she's so funny. She's hysterical Um, I'm trying to think of other You think christen wigs watching this? Yeah Amanda cyfried No, not hot. No school hot. No school cute. No, no, nothing If I'm putting her I'm putting her in school hot I'll say she's school cute based on her personality. Okay. All right. She's she's in between school. Lindsay Lohan

school hot school hot school smoke school smoker mean girls. Lindsay was a fucking Everyone wanted to fuck her at that point. Hell yeah. Yeah Yeah, oh rachel mcadam school cute or school hot She's she's whatever the hell she wants to be She's beautiful. She's beautiful, but like not my type not hot though. Yeah, not hot Not hot not hot beautiful beautiful to look at not gorgeous not like Yeah, like I would love to like be like, yo, I bring her home every night. Like she's like people look at her Yo, your girl is so beautiful. Yeah

Not setting off any sirens though. No, you know what I mean not blowing which isn't bad It's nothing wrong with that. I don't want a siren blower. I mean either because guess what? I'm high maintenance too much attention. I don't want people giving you attention. Yeah while I'm giving you attention Here's another thing Guys that get mad siren blower That's a great one too. Yeah fix her post keep it in post. Yes, um If a guy if you're out and a guy looks at your girlfriend's butt, but hasn't seen you yet Can you really be mad at him? No

You can't I don't I never got I never got to be like you're looking at my girl's ass. Are you talking to my girl? Yeah, yeah, I didn't know I didn't see you. Yeah, if I saw you I wouldn't have done this I don't get mad. I don't get mad I'll do one of these What is that like a I saw you but like I feel you No, but like think about it like if if you're out at a bar. Yeah And if your girlfriend's hot, which if you're dating her you think she's hot. Yeah Some other dude's talking to him. I get it. Yeah

She's hot. Are you gonna? Are you gonna let him chat though chat it up? Really? Yeah, because it's not on me. It's on you Diving that no, I don't dive in You wait, you don't dive. I mean you dive Oh, I'll see it up. Look at this. I'll check what's going on. No You're gonna let that full conversation end. Yep. Wow because it's not me you got bronze balls, dude But it's it's not on me bro. It's on her. I thought you were sensitive It's not about being sensitive. What's it about? She's a fucking do your thing. You're a person. Live your life. Yeah I'm making right. Maybe you're talking about fucking god knows what I don't know, man

If you're a guy at a bar, you're trying to suck some ass Don't go to a bar and find out what job you have but they want to suck your ass Yeah, but when you're in a bar, I've had many conversations with girls before in bars and they're like, oh, hey In front of a girlfriend Yeah Well, I'm just saying even even in front of a girlfriend like you're just you it just happens It's like, okay. I'm talking to you real quick about this quick thing and then I'm out I don't talk to you for the rest of the night. Well, that's that I get that's what I'm saying

That's what that's good that no, I'm talking conversation like hey, what's up? Like where are you from and then it's your girlfriend's Fucking job to be like I'm good like later But if your girlfriend's gonna sit there and just be like, oh, hey, no, it's all chill Let's just hang That's the dude's fault. That's gonna be a uber conversation for sure So, uh, what happened back there?

Would you know him from college? No, just in general I I've always felt that way because I think the latter is weird like of the alternative the alternative is like But how weird do you think it is though? And I think that's very weird. Oh, okay I think it's very weird that you're in a bar And someone's talking to your girlfriend and you feel like if I don't say something She's gonna cheat on me. She's fucking five feet from you. It's not about cheating on you But it's this guy this guy is only talking to your girlfriend because They want to suck their titties. Okay

Okay, but he's not I know Unless she lets him. Yeah, which in that case Not your fault What you just said unless she lets them Yeah, I don't know The part of me the insecurity in me is uh It's definitely it doesn't feel great, but it's not it's I don't think it's your place to be like I'm not gonna watch it if I got to say something to my girlfriend like, yo, what do you want to drink?

I'll do shit like that But what do you want to drink, babe? I won't you won't I'll let it play out Really? Yeah, damn Look at Investigator over here. No, I'm not gonna sit there and watch the whole thing and be like, oh, what's going on here? I'll notice what's going on and then I'll be like, okay, and then I feel like you you're constantly examining people though Yeah, I'm a people watcher your big-time examiner. Like I'll be talking to you like when we'll take charlie to the park and you're literally just

Like you stare at people and like think about what they do. Yeah They could be like, yeah, like I wonder what like what this guy's like home life is. Yeah I do that constantly You want to know what else what I do too? All right, nice But not like I'll always I'll walk by people on the street and be like this person has a whole different life A whole different set of people that they know and they're just out of my life like that Probably never see me again. Never again, especially here I always see looking at people and like literally breaking them down

I want to yeah, because I want to know why people do certain things I don't know. I never like ever took something for like someone tells you something you go. Okay. I never do that I'm always just like, all right, but Why did that happen? Why does this water? Would you always like that? Yeah You must have been the most annoying kid ever. No, why why? Oh, no, no, I wasn't like that. Why though. No, but I always wanted to do it myself I wasn't like because I didn't trust anyone's work. Yeah, you're a diy guy

Yeah, I guess so Yeah, but I I I just I want to know why people do certain things and I think that makes me good at reading people as well Because I've been doing that for so long that it's almost like second nature that to be like I know if you're saying something something to me I've had enough conversations with people and I've examined people enough to know that I've heard this line before Yeah, and people say it when they don't like you're lying You're making this up the way you're looking at me right now. It's kind of like The way you're looking at me right now. It's kind of scaring me

I'm trying to think of everything I said today. No, but I'm saying like Like I feel like that makes me good at reading people because I'm like you don't actually feel that way You're just saying that because you've read that or you've heard that somewhere. Well, it's a definitely takes practice though Yeah, like it's something you have to like do all the time and it's also just a willingness to I'm wrong. Yeah, you have to be willing to be like, okay. I'm wrong. I read that wrong. Yeah, there's nothing nothing wrong with that either I'm a big energy guy too. I feel like you could just tell if someone's being real or not Yeah, it's very easy to tell someone's a fucking asshole. Yeah, very easy very easy asshole

dick How long you've been on this an hour 22. Oh, wow, we're running man Man, do we have patreon questions this week? Oh, yeah, fuck Damn it. Let me find some Let's get these questions. Yeah, probably they're gonna shut off um Uh First question is from Diego. Oh, no, not Diego. Sorry. I read that wrong. It's from Levi Levi says have any of you jerked it to hentai

That's a big no what you've never done. No Well, you don't like cartoons banging. No, I'm not gonna jerk off to the cartoon Why don't you want to see perfectly live people have sex? Well, you don't want to see march simpson get it? No No, what if she had big ass yellow tits? I see those commercials all time. Yeah, they're on the right side Little side banners. Yeah, like, yeah, why is homer just like Yeah Crush and I want to see animated jizz See the real thing

Uh Gabriel Cruz koalas or pandas. Oh to easily pandas. Pandas dude. He said this keeps me up at night. This is an easy decision I like their their eyes. I like they look like they could hug really well Yeah, and they like fit perfectly like on your chest koalas Not for me. I'm not I'm not a big club. It's not my favorite thing I don't like it either um You've done from garrett ackinson you've done pi versus cake. So brownies are cookies

That's hard cookies Yeah, probably there's just more a brownie is a brownie a brownie is a brownie. There's could be orios There's double stuff. There's cinnamon orios a cinnamon bun or I would say my favorite cookie is still honestly just a A chocolate chip cookie Like a beautifully made chocolate chip cookie soft and warm perfect perfect god that makes me so fucking You know like you don't have to get you know You don't have to get crazy with the cookies

Wait, all right, so carly steel She said would you rather never have come for the rest of your life? Or know that every time you fucked a girl You would 100 you would always 100 satisfying Oh, I I get it. Oh give up jizz for their orgasm Fuck no Wait, but hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on Why do I don't need come I don't need come but it's just like it's do I still feel like I come

That's what she I think she's saying that you don't and then in parentheses. She also said let's be honest show She's fake moaning 90% of the time Damn shots fired. I didn't know if that was at me or just in general. I think so But we know that already. I don't know if that's her personal experience. Uh new slash who knew that already. Yeah Jokes on you. I know I'm not satisfying anyone out here. I know my penis sucks No, so all right Would you rather would you rather never have come for the rest of your life or know that every time you fucked a girl? You would 100% satisfied. I think I would take I don't know. I think I would give up come dude. I'm coming. No

I'm coming in hot. I don't need it. Think about it. Why don't you think about this? Dude, you need to come for what for the further your future for my what does that mean you want kids, right? Well, I'm saying if I could have kids without come Which I you know right now that's not possible But like if it if there was some science that I could get That we could you know we could fix that but I Guess be a sexual mind. Sure. I'm coming. No, I

You know just think about it imagine every time you had sex with a girl. She was like, oh my god And then she went and told everyone people would fuck you just for the for the to see if the myth was true You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you would have a mythical penis Yeah, I didn't think about that and even if you don't perform well, it doesn't matter. She got off. You're right. I'm still coming Oh my god, uh, fuck that was funny. Um Sean smith good question. It was a good question. Shout out carly steel. Um, that's a porn star star by the way Fuck that is somebody who has done some kind of some stuff. Yeah, carly steel. Come on, man. Um, anyway That's not a real name. No, it's a real name. It's a real name. I mean, it's a it's the patreon name. So it's gotta be real

Um Sean smith, do you ever sit down when you pee? All the time Whoa, yeah in the morning when i'm tired, dude. Wait, you sit when you pee. Yeah With the shower with with knowing it's just pee. Yeah, no No No, you said yes. No when you're tired when i'm tired. Yes, but I I don't sit down in pee Like, oh, I'm running out the door. Let me pee. You said when you're tired. Yeah, if I wake up in the morning

I'll sit down and pee. Nope Really Here's the thing too. Here's one other thing one second. Mm-hmm A larger amount of the time a little poop comes out When in the morning you you're you're whatever's going on in you is reverse for for me if I got a pee sometimes I'm like, no, no, whenever I poop you got to pee a little bit of pee Yeah, I could will myself to poop if I'm being sitting down. It's way easier. I am way I'm the opposite. I could will myself. I could pee right now

Won't be hard do it piss yourself right now How much To pee yourself in public. I was going to ask you that right now. I swear to god I was gonna say yeah, how much money to just like strut up. Piss your pants a hundred bucks I'll do that. I'll piss my pants. I'll give you a hundred bucks to piss your pants. I'll piss my pants right now Well, I gotta vlog that one day. Yeah a hundred bucks. If you give me a hundred bucks I'll pee my I'll pee my pants on camera. All right gray sweat pants. Yeah, I have them I'll buy them tonight

For a hundred dollars. I'll pee my pants. Yeah, but we got to be somewhere like it will be outside Okay, and then I'll I'll literally like go a little bit throughout the day with pee my pants for an extra hundred bucks Not here. No, I'll go shopping or something. Yeah I should go shopping for pants You're gonna I should pee my pants and then go shopping for pants. I'd be honest with you I'm charging way more than a hundred if I'm you Yeah, well, we could fix that. I already got you. So it's I'm gonna I'll pee my pants on camera. Um, Michael Lopez

Disney game jasmine arielle bell fuck one mary one kill one. Oh man. I'm fucking Ariel Okay, I'm marrying jasmine Killing bell. Yeah Bro, you fucked a beast. I don't know what you got. Yeah, probably a crazy std. Yeah I don't want that. Yeah, you show me one wolf. That's clean I don't I can't yeah, and wasn't he a prince before This is too much magic too much magic. I can't handle this shit. That woman's had a wolf penis in her

Yeah, we think I can I can please her after that After that wolf cock. Yeah, you got three. Oh, no, let a wolf thrash you. I gotta throw my penis in there No, thanks. You're dead. You already heard the percentages from carly steel. Yeah 90% of the time You think I'm working with some after a fucking wolf sticks been in there the hell no fuck out of here power wolf um Oh my god, I'm looking through right now, which is oh here he goes It's kind of like all right. This has been the last one Troy Martin, which is better vampires or werewolves Uh vampires not werewolves. No, here's why vampires are cool. They're fucking terrible. No, but they're kind of like

They're pussy, but they could be sexy though I'm thinking like Dracula. Oh, I thought you're talking like like Buffy the vampire slayer. She's not gonna she's a slayer Yeah, yo, but there were some hot vampires on that show. I don't think so true blood and shit Also vampires don't have that much cleave That's true. Buffy had some fucking hammers on her werewolf though. You gotta All your clothes rip at midnight You gotta get new clothes all the time get some like breakaway pants. That's true like the incredible Hulk or something Yeah, yeah, I'd rather be a vampire because I could suck somebody's blood

You could do that now Fuck no. Yeah, that's good. There's people that do that shit. I know and they're fucking ass fucking disgusting They're the kids in high school that had chains all over their pants I'm a big ass like black jeans and then just never grew up and it was like, you know, I'm gonna get fangs Yeah, and the one time you like tried to say hello to them. They were mean to you for no reason like they would like Hiss at you or like they would they would purr like a cat and like, yeah Hey, what's up, man? You look darkness. Yeah, what is up? Nothing the sky and then it's just like you relax Your parents bank account

Fucking hate kids like that Hated them. Yeah, that was it. Um, anyway, I think that's all for this week's episode of the baseman yard We can wrap this up right here. I want to have it's been a long episode probably the longest episode of done Am I school cute or school hot? You're school cute. You're school cute skill cute. Yeah, skill skill cute Skill killer you're You're school you school cute. Yeah. No, you're school hot. Damn. That's why I'll give it to you Am I more cute or hot? You're way more cuter than I'm way cuter than you are but uh, yeah, you are but

Um, I would say you're a very good mixture Here's why if you were like two inches taller, you'd be all the way on the hot spectrum Five ten is just not enough. No, it's that's a great. I wish I was five ten But if you were like six one Untouchable if I was six one Untouchable, dude. Untouchable untouchable brother I'm just calling how to see it. That's hilarious, you know Good mixture, I'll take that. Yeah, it's the best of both worlds. Mm-hmm

Maybe dexterous. Yeah left-handed right-handed. You don't know school cute next day school hot far. Yeah Nice anyway Danny, where can they find you? Uh, Danny go priori on instagram and twitter, please. Uh, yeah, and you guys can find me on, uh wherever the fuck twitter at jose hannagato and um Go check out the patreon uh patreon.com slash the base me yard Uh, help support the show so we can do some stuff with that money You know like, uh Get some more lap dances for the big guy. Yeah

He's joking. I love when he jokes He's joking. He feels so good when he jokes. He feels so good when he jokes. Oh, man Anyway, we got to turn this AC on because it's getting hot. So that is all we'll see you next time. Peace