The Basement Yard - Is It Bad That I Don't Care?
Episode Date: December 4, 2017On this episode, I am joined by @DannyLopriore to talk about our heritage, getting hit by our parents, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the basement yard today. I'm joined by Danny low Priori
Um, oh my god, did you hear that? It was a big crack my shoulders
I thought that was your chair for a second. No, my shoulder just like popped out of its socket. Here we go. Yeah, we're all fucking
Oh, you're all right. Good night. No, I think I you know my rotator cup. So jeez sound like a fucking like retired offensive lineman
I think that's terrible. I think that's right. You know what it is. I threw a lot of pictures when I was younger
All right, right. I'm serious. I was a good pitcher
First of all, I was but I'm talking about like super young when I was super young like little league world series young
Like you could have been like a prospect. Oh like uh, no, you're talking like t-ball
I mean, yo, I played in like this town. You know what I mean? I didn't play like travel
I mean, I did play travel a little but not like town is huge though
So you were a really good pitcher. I was a good pitcher
I was like you were very very good
Oh, I'm not saying like I'll highly tout it coming out of the draft this kid. You gotta sign this nine-year-old
Like henry rome gardener
No, but I was a good pitcher and so they would just pitch me every game which is probably highly illegal
Yeah, probably but but when you're a kid you probably have like that rubber arm a little bit. Yeah, you're older
Yeah, your shoulder cracks. Yeah
Oh fuck that. It's a mess
Anyway, me me and danny we uh, we were out at a bar. Do you have like last week or some shit? Yes, we were and
I don't even know how it came up. I think you brought it up
I think I was like one or two
Like hardsiders over the over the limit. So then I started talking about um
You know, it would be cool to find out where your ancestors were really no
We were talking about if you could go back and live in that time period
Right, or would you go visit or would you go visit like then when your ancestors like when they were young?
Right and alive. Yeah
And so I asked the question I go, Joe, wouldn't you want to do this and Joe just hits me with the most stone cold?
No
Yeah, no, I don't like he was basically what he was trying to get it was just like
I think how it came up. You asked me like where in Italy are you from
Yes, and I was like, I don't know
And you're like, how do you not know and I went like full heart. I was like, you don't know
Yeah, he's like, what do you mean? You don't know Italian. You don't know what your family's from and I was like, no
I have no idea. I I and I don't care
Is that crazy? I don't think it's crazy
But the only thing that I think's a little crazy is that how how fast you said no
because like
I don't what am I going to do with that information?
Like you're thinking about it more than you did that night when we brought it up
So maybe I might be able to sway. I think it just would be cool to know where your grandparents
Grandparents came from or to just see like old
old
Italy and shit
I feel like everything was like sepia tones like back in like the 1800s. Yeah, everything
A shade of brown
That's just how I feel it was
So you travel back to like like sepia themed
Uh, Italy and like walk around and see what your family was like
Like burns in the corner like literally. Yeah, it looks like an old map. Yeah
All like your eyes you're looking through a map. That's what it looks like. It's great
None of that none of that entices you not at all. No
I mean, I just don't care like when when people ask me like, oh, what's your heritage or whatever I say
I'm Irish and Italian and the and they'll ask me like where in Italy. I was like, I have no idea
But you've never even asked
I maybe at one point right, but I but I forgot or I just don't and then we figured it out that night and I
Be honest with you. I still don't know. I don't remember
Like that's how little I care about you know, we should do in here. We should do those ancestry DNA tests
Do you know actually that actually find out where everybody's from that might happen?
Uh
You know, there there might be something in the future with me doing one of these
Dude, you should you should do that and I guarantee you that would be
One of the best episodes my sister just did it and we're like is it accurate though?
I don't fuck I you have to believe them
You like spit in a cup or you'd like jizz in a cup you send it to a lab
And I'm like, yeah, you're fucking 1%
Egyptian or whatever think about how shitty that job is though
It's like you're just handling miles and miles away just spits in a fucking tube
And then they send it to you and you have to open it and pour it out. It's gross. I I mean
I don't know it it never because like I I'm not that's that's another thing I kept saying that night
I was like, I'm not from there. Right. I'm from here. Yeah, but you you said it way more like no, I'm not from there
I'm from here. All right, so fuck that no because you were because you were blown away
I was a little blown away that I was like, but I was like the hardsiders were
We're flowing we're flowing hard, but I was like
Because in my eyes, I'm like knowing that information is not really gonna
You know do I I understand that it's cool to know whatever like my parents aren't from Italy, right? They were born here
And then I think my grandfather was born in Italy, but he spent majority of his life in the united states
So it's like
I don't really know anybody that was like from there
So have you ever been there? No, I've never been to Italy. Would you go? Oh, of course. It's beautiful
I gotta get over there too. I haven't been there either. Yeah, it's gorgeous. But uh,
Have you been there? No, but it's gorgeous. Oh, you gotta go you've been there. No
You gotta go man. It's so beautiful
I'm on google
Yeah
One of my friends one time he went like hiking or something. He's like, yo, you gotta check this place out
I'm like, where is it? He goes. Yeah, it's like five hours upstate. I'm like check this out is not five hours away
Yeah, no, that's usually like within. Yeah, I can get there within an hour. Yeah, you'll check out this place
Five hours is I need to rent a hotel and stuff like at least two times. Exactly. No, thank you
He's like, yeah, you should you check this place out. What was the place?
It was some it was like a hiking path, but it was like this crazy like when you get to the top a five hour way hiking path
So you try five hours to walk five hours
Yo, fuck first of all speaking of hikes. Fuck you speaking of hikes the other day
Well, like last weekend or something like that. I went on a hike
Where do you go to these hikes? They're in new jersey
And it was like an hour and 15 away, right and the whole time my brother and his girlfriend are like
They ran their new york city marathon like she was a college athlete. He was a college athlete. They're just yeah, they're savages
So they do this all the time. They just went to colorado. They were doing hikes there at fucking, you know
11,000 feet not breathing at all. Damn, you know, so they're just like chilling
But we went on this hike
It was so hard
I was gassed. Did they tell you how many feet it was? I'm not sure
It's one of those ones where it's literally like you walk straight for a couple things and then it turns into like 90 degrees
I'm not even kidding you
From the from the beginning until the midway point
You are climbing up rocks. There is no walking through the forest. There's no pretty
It's like and there's signs because the whole time I'm on the way there. He's going like
What sneakers are you wearing those sneakers? Oh, and I was like, yeah
And he's like that's already a red flag and I was like, dude relax
You're like you're going hard. Like I'll be fine. You know what I mean? Like I'm an athlete like I could
I'll adjust it's whatever
And he's like, all right
And whatever and then he's saying like it's tough and like did you bring snacks?
Why do you keep hinting at all this horrible shit?
I know I was like, yo, I think he was like joking or whatever because I always make fun of him
But he then his girlfriend's going. Did you guys bring snacks? And I'm like, what?
Yeah, what do you mean? And then she's like, did you bring water? I was like, yeah, I have water
She's like, okay good
Where you guys going fucking Mount Kilimanjaro? First of all, it's called breakneck ridge or something like that already already
It's uh, and then we get there, right? We're walking
There's a sign right before you start and it says this isn't a walk in the park
And it's like going off
And immediately your first step literally is you have to step on onto this rock
Then you walk up this little path and then it's just a a scent like you're climbing up rocks the entire time
And when was this?
This was like last week and I was so
taught dude and then when you get up top
There's like places where it's mad dangerous
You you get up and it's like you climb up this rock
And then to the right of you. It's just a drop
It's crazy. How long how long did it take you to get up there?
Uh, not that long. We made pretty good time
Uh
But it probably took like maybe an hour and 15 and you have to walk all the way down
It's your work first of all and walking all the way down that's what I'm saying
It's probably just as hard
It's but it's not climbing down you have to walk down like a side of the side of the mountain
But you're walking as if you're walking down
A steep hill like you know how you have to bend your knees and kind of lean back
You're like clapping kind of like when you're walking. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's like that the entire way down
Yeah, I almost like the way up better than the way down my knees were killing me. I was like this is fucking psychotic
Why do they hike so much?
They're just they're just athletic. I don't know what you would you do in college?
She played lacrosse. Oh, what's your brother do? He played football and lacrosse. Oh, they're so they're just full on sad
Yeah, and he also fucking trained for the olympics like this kid doesn't stop
I forgot about that. He told me that and then they ran the marathon
You think you'll ever run the merit. Have you ever?
Dude, what would you think you could like run the marathon if like push comes to shove, right?
And I was like, yo or somebody not me because I don't have any money
But if somebody was like, yo, I'll give you $10,000 to run the marathon
No shot and you get to train from
What's today? December 3rd, right all the way to whenever that shit was a couple weeks ago. Yeah, no
You think you could do it. No, I don't think I could do it. I think you could I don't think I could run half of it
I don't think you could run if you trained every day. I fucking hate running. Right. I hate it
I can't do it. I don't see how anyone enjoys that. It's not enjoyable. No, I'm telling you
I was standing out there and I was watching these people
No one's happy and then like I was watching it too
For my apartment and it was at that point where people start that running but like that run wheeze that you get
Yeah, like they stopped shaking hands already like they were all fucked up drinking like Gatorade goo packs and shit
There's no way I could do that. I would die. I would die
I mean, I'm a little bit on the burlier side, but I've seen some burly guys run that marathon
Which is even crazier to me. Yeah, that's psychotic when you see people run the marathon and like kind of fat
I'm like, how the fuck did you do that? Yeah?
I don't know. I don't know. I just did it
It's crazy too because my brother's not like a big guy. No, but he's
Like I'm 182 pounds. He weighs less than I do
But he you weigh 182. Yeah, we're gonna have to go to the tape on that
Why I think you might be a little less. No, I'm I'm 182. I'm telling you right now. How tall are you? I'm 5 10
There's some fucking sexy stats right there
I'll put it in the work. You know what I mean? 5 10 182. That's a whole snack right there. There's a whole snack. That's a whole day of snacks
So what is your brother way?
So he weighs like a little bit less than like maybe like four pounds less than me or whatever
But he looks like one of the bigger dudes out there, right and he's weighing like
177 175
And everyone's like thin. Yeah, you know what I mean? They're like thin because they this is all they do is they run and they're like
I can't imagine that's good for your legs either. No, it has that's probably one of the worst
Physical things that you could do for yourself. Yeah, it's it's psychotic man. He's run 16 miles my brother team point. No, it's 26
It's 26. Yeah, I thought it was 16.2. No, it's 26.2. Jesus christ
Mike Keith ran a half marathon
Keith ran a half marathon which is like 13 something but
And he and he ran the whole way
No, you got to stop
It's not that you stop you stop. Most people stop. I mean like they walk like they
And then they go back into it. Those people don't stop
They're like marathon dudes. No, like those Kenyan dudes are just straight. Those dudes are fucking hauling ass. They run right through your tape
They run home after the people who are winning are averaging fucking five five minute six minute miles
If I had to run a six minute mile right now, that's ridiculous
It would take everything out of me and now if I only had to run one
What do you what's the fastest you think you could run a mile right now?
My freshman year of high school. I had to run one to pass. Hey, that's what I should hear
But I want to hear no, but I feel like I'm in better shape now than I was back then
Yeah, it could be but I uh, also you're older a little, you know, yeah, I ran it back then in 6 30
6 30. Yeah, I was around I was around there when I was
when I was
A freshman sophomore junior
Yeah, up till like senior because I I cheated on my senior one like I cut across the field
To fucking shape like 45 seconds off. Yeah, because if you ran it
Over 12 minutes, they made you run it again because they knew that you were capable of like it just shows that you're not running the mile
right
Like I was doing like six the fastest one I ever ran was like six
20 something and that's when I was in like really good shape and like
Went full hard. Oh and got after it if I ran a mile right now
My taking 43 minutes
And you best believe I'm stopping to take some walk breaks in that fucking bitch if I if I if I had
A month to train for a mile. This is pathetic by the way
Like I'm gonna be so depressed getting in the uber home. I'm gonna be like I should have ran home
Yeah, yeah, I should have ran home should have walked home at least
I think the fastest my body is capable of running a mile is like the absolute peak of my physical fitness is like
618
Dude, that's a very good. That's amazing. That's a great mile. But that's the peak and I
Don't be fooled. I will never get there. Right. I will never do it. I just don't I hate it. I can't run
I try so hard
There was a point where I just finished a 12 week workout program and at the end of every single workout
You're supposed to run for 15 minutes
Uh two minutes like jog and then one minute. It's like kind of like 80. Yeah, it's like intervals. So I uh
For the first four weeks
I was on that treadmill kill and then one day I was like, I'm gonna skip it and then I never went back to
Just gone just gone for it. I'm never doing that again now. It's true. Cardio is the easiest thing to just be like nah
Yeah, it's terrible. No, thanks that and dieting for me, which are the things that will
If quickly get you in shape I cannot do I fall off of them so easily
I'll be so good for like a month. Yeah, and then once you don't do it for a day
You're completely off. Yeah, because yeah, because once you once you do make an excuse for that day
It becomes an excuse for every day
Like I've talked myself into why I could have like this popcorn shrimp
And like I'll trick myself in the saying that it actually makes sense
I gotta be like, yo, I didn't have any popcorn shrimp yesterday
So I could have a popcorn shrimp today. No, no, you can't
It's not how it works, but yeah, it doesn't work like that. You know, it sucks about it too. It's like
You spend so much time
Trying to get in shape and maybe it takes you like
Seven months to get in a really good shape. Yeah, but it takes a month and a half for it to just all be erased
Like for me, I would know
When I have to get back in shape
Well, I never have to but when I like don't want to be close to death anymore
It takes me a full eight or nine months. Yeah till I get in shape
To the point where like taking the garbage out
Isn't like a near-death experience. All right, you know what I mean
Sometimes I have the I have like two sets of stairs. You got to get up to this apartment. Sometimes we get to the top and be like, whoo
Start looking at it together. Start looking at that or like you look up a new realtor
You just like, yeah, I might have to move out of here. It's too many stairs. You know what I'm gonna do
I'm just gonna install one of those old people things. Oh, yeah, sit in the chair. It takes you right up sideways too
Oh sideways. How fun is that? That's amazing. It feels like a like the teacup ride at fucking disney world
I never
Think about how expensive that would be to get like installed though, but I never understood
Why
They don't have them in like other places
What the old people stuff? Yeah
What do you mean? Like I don't see those side escalators like anywhere except for in somebody's house
Oh, like at fucking sporting events or something. I know they have the regular ones like the regular escalators
I'm doing a funny hand motion right now. Yeah, okay, but um, I would never see those
I would love to be able to like be able to have a chance where I can actually sit in one of them
Well, that's because they have escalators and elevators. I know but uh elevators. Yeah elevators win elevators win
I forgot about that. Boom wheelchairs done fixed it. Yes. Yes elevators
Ever since I can remember to whenever I got old. I can't wait to be like, okay
It's gonna sound weird. All right. I'm not gonna say I can't wait to be old because that's not true
But I'm saying it's gonna be fun
Because the way that I kind of envisioned it right you're born
And as a child you can do whatever you want. Yeah, because there's no and no one expects you to do anything
Right, you could shit wherever you want. You can scream. You could just walk run around without pants on people aren't like
Yeah, look at this dick or whatever right fully accepted. Whatever you want to do then you get to a certain age
Where it's like this shit's over. I'd say it's like six seven where it's like this is over now
Yeah, and it's weird because parents have to have that conversation and be like you can't shit on the floor anymore
Dude, it's like dude. It's over. It's over. Go shit in the in the bathroom. Otherwise. I'm gonna hit you. You know
Well, not anymore. You can't hit me. I can't hit kids anymore. Ridiculous. Yeah
Should be able to pop them up one. Oh my god. Yeah, like not closed fist
But like open hand back of the head like
Italian dad something you got to sting you got to sting them. You know what I mean?
Like even with like my dog with a two finger backhand like the
Yeah, watch what you say here. Yeah, I know
Even with my dog like when I was training him
If they're not listening at some point, I'm not taking my day out on them
No, but like a pat on the ass just to give him like a ho. Yeah
A little two finger in in the back thigh like a horse to give him the a cut it out
Yeah, because I mean
Dude, I'll be honest my parents they got after it
They did yeah, they got at dinner
I'd be sitting there and have my seat was next to my dad and I'd say something
He'd take his fork. Grab it right into my forearm. No way. Yeah, your dad stabbed you before my dad's
Not like break the skin stab, but
Yeah, that's what I mean. Like oh, yeah, he he was jabbing. Yeah, like trying like a prison tattoo. Yeah, jailhouse deal. Yeah, exactly
Yeah, get out of here. Hey, and I'll say oh my dad one time. Hey dad. What's up?
My dad my dad one time me and my brother were cursing at each other and he heard us through the wall
And my dad wears glasses right so when my dad would come into the room with no glasses on
You knew somebody was either dead or you were about to die
So he didn't stop. He didn't even stop to put his glasses on. He's just I'm just gonna he goes into a
We used to call a blind rage. Yeah, because he used to have no glasses and be blind
So the whole thing was is that he would get us like basically into a corner where you knew he was gonna smack one of us
But if you were lucky enough that the other one got slapped you had a chance to run away, right?
so this time
My brother Mike got slapped first and I had a chance to run away
I shit you not this man grabbed me and lifted me off the ground. I swear with one hand by my head
And yeah, and literally like a basketball and brought me back into the room and helped me and my brother's
Heads in both hands like look I created these two monsters. Look at these monsters and he cracked our heads together. It's good
cracked our heads together
And the whole thing after it he goes if I had to come in this room
I'm gonna have to crack your heads again, and I don't want to do it, but I will do it
And me and my brother just looked at each other like, yeah, let's do this. Fuck. Yeah, this dude just fucking big showed us
And
Like it was wwf and bashing our fucking head jungled you I was so scared of my dad after that
That I think I didn't say anything out of line to him for like maybe 12 years
Well, you know, you know what?
Garbage was taken out that night. Oh dishes were done. Yeah laundry super folded super nice
Terrified of that man
One time my dad, this is a real story. This is like a famous story in our family
uh
We me and Keith so
In one of our rooms it would be me and Keith in a bunk bed
On the bottom and then my oldest brother was on top. God that was like us too. My three of us in a bunk bed, right?
and
He would come in and like he's a big dude
So you could hear him come on up the stairs and when you heard those footsteps like you heard
You're like
And I can I you know I was a I was a very good actor from a young age
You know what I mean? I could play the sleep card like phenomenally
He comes in
Keats over there smirking with his eyes closed
I could see this so my dad just starts reaching for his belt
And you're like, no, no, no, no
You start holding up the sheets right to try and cushion the blow
And even if I didn't do anything he would hit Keith and then I'd just be there
And he just looking me and he would hit me and be like you're both roped in together
That's so funny that you say that but the fucking sheets
Holding it up just soft in the vlog dude. I know exactly these fucking tactics
Wait hold on hold on real quick. So what the story I wanted to get to is that me and Keith were fucking around
Me and Keith were fucking around one time and
uh, my dad for whatever reason was so mad at us and told us that
He's like, you know what I'll do
I'll cut your playstation in half with a mitre saw and make you stand behind it so all the shavings fly all over you
Oh my god, and we were like, holy fuck
That's one of the one of the coolest and also one of the sickest things I've ever heard because as a kid
Imagine somebody doing that to your fucking playstation cutting in half just dramatic and slow done it slow motion
Just fucking playstation bitches bouncing off your face
Just knowing how many hours you put in trying to beat these fucking games and your dad just not syphon filter
Oh syphon filter was great double disc right the first one the second one was double disc. I'm not sure
Well, another story about dad's destroying stuff. My dad got me got me a next tell an i90, right?
I was so pumped
Love to have a cell phone, but this is back when like minutes like you had to pay for minutes. Yeah
So my dad found me talking uh to my girlfriend at the time in eighth grade ninth grade but lit super lit
And he found me in the car talking. He opened the car door
I
Grabbed the i90 out of my hands and proceeded to gronkowski spiked the shit out of it
Outside of our house and told me to pick it up and throw it in the garbage. Nice
That's my dad. It's lit. Yeah. I remember when your mom would hit you, but you got old enough to like fake that it hurt
Like with the belt like my mom would be like, I'll kill you. I'm like, oh mom out
My mom was always like
I'll be honest like I was more afraid of my dad because I'm like, all right. This dude can like kill me physically imposing
Yeah, my mom was more just like
She's gonna hit me, right?
You know what I mean? It's coming. I know like my dad would only do it
If my mom if my mom said to me me and my brother's like, I'm gonna tell your father. We're like, please don't
Yeah, it's almost a fear that makes you scared that hurts more. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I imagine
I imagine I imagine some people listen to this and being horrified, but it's like right
Hey guys, we're making it sound way worse than it was
Yeah, or we've just like repressed it so much that it's comedic to us now at no point that I ever feel like
I was like abused or anything like that and that's and that's because it was it was a difference
It was there's a huge difference in that because
And no point I feel like oh my god, that hurts so bad and I look at it like this
My dad slapped me in the house. So I wouldn't go outside and get slapped by somebody outside. Yeah
So he goes if anyone's gonna slap my kid, it's gonna be me
Okay, anyone's throwing hands around here. It's me and I'll be honest with you. They did help me a little bit
But also I was kind of a dick
When like we were talking about when we were yeah, we were full on problem children. I was a big time douche. Yeah
My mom is literally calling me right now. She was like says she's gonna be good. She knows she's not she got that
Six mom sense. Yeah, she's got it. What are you talking about nothing?
My mom my parents. Yo, my parents are great, but um
Yeah, we love our parents. I gotta justify. No, my parents are great. So I gotta call my dad right after this. He's good. He's a good guy
He's great. Oh, shit. Let's just get let's get these sponsors out of the way before we move on here
the first one we have is
Hello
Harry's razors
Harry's is so confident. You'll love their blades. They'll give you a free trial set
Uh, when you sign up at harrys.com slash basement all you have to do is pay for shipping
Over three million guys have switched to harry's if you're a harry dude. Oh
Play on words. How you doing?
Um harry's is all about a great shave at a fair price started by two ordinary guys named jeff and andy
Doesn't get more ordinary than that. Let me tell you
Okay, uh claim your free trial offer from harry's today $13 value for free when you sign up just cover shipping guys
I can tell you from personal experience. I have used harry's before
It's better than whatever the hell I use because usually if I lose a razor or I was actually
When I was living with my mom's I had harry's and then when I made the move
I didn't have them at first and I went to uh, cvs and got those like, you know, you could buy like it looks like a
20 pack of these one blade things and they just cut your neck open
Couldn't do it. Um claim your free trial offer from harry's today $13 value for free
Your free trial set includes a weighted razor handle five precision engineer blades with lubricating strip and trimmer blade
Rich a lot lathering shave gel and a travel blade cover
To get your free trial set go to harry's dot com slash basement right now. That's harry's dot com slash basement
Also, we have mvmt movement watches
Uh, just in time for the holidays. Okay, if you don't know what to get
A watch is kind of like a standard dude gift guys appreciate underwear. They do ties. They do
And watches big time
And with mvmt watches you they start at $95 if you buy them in one of these stores, you're looking at 400 to 500 bucks
It's crazy. Um
Sorry Jesus, uh
And with mvmt you can skip the crowds and standing in lines and find a gift they'll love at prices that beat department stores
Uh, over 1 million watches sold in over 160 countries. Hello
Spreading it out here
Movement watches, uh get 15 off today with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com slash basement
Go to mvmt.com slash basement join the movement
Uh, okay, so that's all we have for today
What were we talking about? Uh, I almost called you greg. Jesus. That's all right
It wouldn't be the first person to call me greg. I'd be the third, right? No, you'd be the first. Okay
No one's ever called me greg. Oh, we were talking about how our dads weren't like, uh, the worst person in the world
The worst person
I feel it's kind of necessary. Yeah
So you see now we're trickling down our entire lineage you're talking about italy now we're down to our dads
Wow, look at that. Yeah, this is this is a linear podcast linear which is rare
Which is rare, but linear is cool. I like linear sometimes. Uh, you know, it's funny when I first
started doing podcasts I was doing a podcast with this woman k wolf
And she is super like liberal and like, you know against she has a son and he's the fucking
He's a brilliant kid like weirdly brilliant and she doesn't hit him. She doesn't do any of that or whatever she talks to him like whatever
Uh, and one of the first episodes we did
I think it was within like the first 10. I think I had my sister and my mom come on and we talked about
Hitting kids. Oh my god, and we were all on the side of like hey, sometimes you gotta jab him, you know
She was so upset. It's so disgusting. No, she was she was appalled. She was appalled
It was great, but it's like
I don't know. I guess you grow up in different environments. I also feel like we both don't have kids
So like it's hard for us to be like
You should be able to hit your kid every once in a while
I guess when you have a kid you probably don't want to hit it
But I know if I have a kid and he yells, I might want to want to pop it one. Yeah
So when we say respectfully pop a respectful pop a jab. Let him know you're there. Let him know you're there
Yeah, just like uh, yeah, you know, you know dogs like nip each other on the neck a little bit
Yeah, exactly. Just letting you know i'm here. Nip them up. Just letting you know i'm here
Exactly. I'm still the alpha in this bitch. Exactly. Like don't think I won't throw I'll take this elbow 12 6 you right now
Big time big time big time
um
Anyway, uh, another thing that came up that night
was uh
Some snacks some snacks here or meals if you want to talk about we're gonna bring this up, huh?
This is a sensitive subject for me. I don't know how this came up
But there was a full blown serious serious argument about totinos versus pizza bagels
Do you want to reveal what side you're on?
I don't remember what I said see that's bad news, but it's like I don't I think i'm kind of
I'm with either i'm i'm cool with either but if push comes to shove and they're like you can only eat one of these
for the rest of your experience
I would have to say totinos
Pizza rolls pizza rolls
And I know i'm gonna catch some flak for this, but sometimes I don't like the bread on the pizza bagel
Yep, that's the only thing that throws me off. Yes, totinos when you cook them. There's most of the totinos
Come burning inside of your mouth. Yes. I know I know burns your mouth off. I get it
Does most of it
Actually fall out of the actual totino and on the side of the aluminum foil aluminum foil. Yes
But I don't like the bread on bagel bites the bagel bites bread feels like it's made out of like
Half you know what it's like it's like the outside of it feels like half of a handball. Yeah, it does
It feels like it's a hit you cut a handball in half and then put pizza ingredients in it
Yes, and you're like, why is this so hard? It's like insulation. Yeah, and it's like shiny and smooth. You're like, this is not bread
I don't know what this is, but it's fucking not bread. That's what creeps me out about that
It's just the bread the idea is great idea is there idea is there executions a little off
And you know what I think itself is because I think they're cutting costs here
You could have went for the expensive bread and made us a good experience, but you're cutting costs
Okay, your margins are going up, but your fucking quality is going down. I don't appreciate that
Bagel bites had to be created by like stoners
Yeah, like that. I'm gonna look it up or like
Or a stoner's focus group where whoever makes them when and like, you know, what would you like to have to be like?
Yeah, like little fucking pizza bagels
Shits would be lit and they fucking did it and now they're billionaires. Yeah, I can't find it
Uh, I would love a 30 for 30 30 for 30 on the creators of bagel bites. We should just do it
Let's just fund it. We'll do it start a Kickstarter. Just do her guys name was harry kats
Harry kats created the bagel bite in 1970 1970 dude, this dude's been winning since the 70s harry kats 1970
I need to see a picture of this
I need his net worth big time. I need his dick size. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah Harry. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. His name is harry kats
All right, so there's three pictures that showed up all these dudes don't look like they do anything like, you know
Oh, that's
I don't know man. I can't find
Can you look up his net worth? Oh harry kats net worth harry kats
Net worth. I can't believe that's someone's name. I know
It's like a prank phone call me
No, I can't find all right. Fuck him. This guy's incognito. But yeah, I took his money and ran, you know
If I if I had to get choose one and have one for the rest of my life, it would be totinos
Here's what i'm gonna say to you. It's very dippable
In what like a little bit of hot sauce
Little bit of hot sauce a little bit of hot sauce in my life
are you
Sometimes you gotta break out a song you gotta do it. It's fine hot sauce because you get the very dippable
Okay, but you know what's crazy. This is gonna sound disgusting to most
When I was younger my mom some nights, you know some nights my mom used to be like, all right
Jesus, I don't know how she did it. We were all kids, you know, I mean relatively around the same age
There's four of us sometimes we get crazy and she's like, I'm not making dinner tonight. Fuck this shit
Yeah, so it'd be like
Pizza bagels. Yeah, or she'd be like, we're fucking we're having pancakes. Yeah, chef boy or d. Yeah, chef boy or d
Literally someone threw up in that can yeah chef boy or d sometimes was like was my like dinner
Yeah, it literally was do you know, it's funny to mix the beef roni with the ravioli now you're having ravioli is fucking good
The ravioli is good. That is cat food in there. Oh, oh, yes
100% but it's
Yeah, I'm pretty sure like that's not sauce. It's like sort of it's like half blood
And water that that ravioli
Is so fucking good that Veronica
That Veronica is one piece of
But yes, here's what I'll say and this might this might throw you off. Okay
I take hot pockets over both. Yes, but here's the argument hot pockets is a more of like a sand
It's it's out of the arena. Oh, no, it's not because here's why there's only shitty midnight food
But there's only two to a package
What the other ones are hors d'oeuvres
Bagel bites and totinos or hors d'oeuvres, dude hot pockets goes on the plate brother
Are hot pockets go on a plate hot pockets come to your table
And these things get walked around by people with white gloves. Yes. Okay. Yes
Totino's handed out the party. Yeah hot pocket
You gotta go get that like when you RSVP for a wedding meter fish hot pocket. Yeah, I feel you
Um fuck lean pockets, by the way, I don't even what is that? It's like you never had a lean pocket
It's hot pocket. It's the same company that makes them, but they're like, are they healthy? Yeah
What's in it like broccoli and cheese? That's disgusting. It's fucking gross, dude
You think I want my broccoli while it's wrapped in this barely bread thing
Yeah, I've never been drunk and be like, oh, I need some broccoli and cheese right now
I'd roll the hot pocket, but I don't want to be unhealthy about it. Yeah. Yeah. I saw what they had like bacon egg and cheeses
I'm like, oh, what would you ever try bacon? I would try it. I know
Michael waveable eggs, dude
That's pretty gross. That's disgusting
But I mean that's mcdonald's dude mcdonald's eggs
What the fuck is that sometimes I'll bite them and be like I felt like they disintegrate in my mouth
Yeah, they're like air. They're gross. I don't even know what to compare it to. It's like I fuck with McGriddles though
Yo, McGriddles are ridiculous. Oh my god. They're so good. I don't know how they get that fucking syrup in that
Pancake bun. I've never been more satisfied. Yeah eating something. I don't know how to explain it
I'm upset you brought it up because it's it's 1 p.m. And we can't get it right now
But I would I would I would do things I would do things
No, mcdonald's has all day breakfast now, dude. No, but not the McGriddle. It's fucking horseshit
See, they know what they're doing. Yeah, they jerked everyone with that, but he didn't let him come
You know what I mean?
Bacon on your mcriddle or sausage mcriddle
Bacon dude. All right. Just making sure just making sure I'm not even a sausage guy. Yeah, it's too salty for me
I don't like it sausage
Is a little more gross because I feel like it's closer to like what the pig actually was
You know, it's like they come in those links or like those flat patties
Gross flat patty fucking sausage
Get out of my house. Yeah, it's gross. It's gross. It's not good. It looks like an old like cheeseburger that got left out
I don't like it. My buddy nick his grandma
Had this house in Jamaica and she would go
I mean, that's not true. Oh, Jamaica not like the country Jamaica over here. I'm an idiot Jamaica queens. Yeah
Jesus
She went to Greece in the summer and we would throw parties at her house. She went to Greece the country. Yeah, not Greece lightning
She went to Greece the country and
We had parties at her at her house terrible. We've told these stories before but
Right across the street was a mcdonald's so anytime we did it. I was at mcdonald's crushing three times a day
Awesome, and I was just like mcriddle me
Like yo, having a mcgriddle after you've had 20 some odd beers the night before
Is the best thing ever nothing sends me into more of a secure slumber than than a fucking mcgriddle
Yo, I feel like if I ate a mcgriddle right now, I it would I would feel
The effects of it for at least a month and a half
I would feel everything I did this week productive is just washed
If I if I ate it like even I shouldn't work. You know, I would do it. How many mcgriddles would you get one or two?
I would get two. I don't know why I'm like pretending. I wouldn't get like two. I would get two mcgriddles
Yeah, you gotta get two mcgriddles one mcgriddle
It's it's almost disrespecting the game a little you know when you bet you get something
You know when you get something and halfway through you're like, all right, I'm kind of like this is this is good
But I'm not like super excited anymore. It's just like I have and now I'm eating it. Yeah mcgriddles. You're like
Every bite's like this. I can't believe this is here. Yeah, this is a real thing I can have
I've I've slowly eaten mcgriddles just to make them last longer. Yeah, dude. Wow
That's how I'm so sad when they're gone. Yes
Yeah, I need it so bad. All right quick one more quick question. This is why we can't run the marathon
This is why uh, we can't no one eats a mcgriddle can run the marathon. I'll tell you right now. We know why we can't do
exactly
What's your fry burger process like eating wise do you like the fries first you like to bite the burger first
I'm an interchangeable dude, but I also I take my fries and I dunk that bitch right in a shake
I love that, but I only like that at wendy's
See like I'm not a big wendy's guy. You're not a frosty guy
I'm a frosty guy fry and frosties are good fry and frosties is good couple junior bacon cheeseburgers in your life
Man, I haven't had fast food in a long time
We got to change that. I do have to change that. Yeah, just once you know what it is
You should review every burger like get the baconator get the whopper get the big mac
And just review the shit out of them. I feel like burger king might have the best burgers
Yeah, that flame that flame
changing the game
Flame in the game. Love it so much white castle burgers. I would bite a desk
I would bite this desk before I bit into that a white castle burger is like a couple ingredients away from being like
A biological weapon. Yeah, it's that it's that I think it is a biological
I think it's a couple ingredients away from being a toy that comes in a barbie set. Yeah, like it's plastic
It's just fucked up and the little onions that they look like little pieces of glass
Gross, I'll I'll I'll lead it though. Oh, yeah, I mean I'll crave great the shit out of this place. Come on
No, that's that the white castle is just absolutely disgusting taco bell
I have to eat while I'm sitting on the toilet because it will come out immediately
I've never loved taco bell. So here's the thing right those fucking
I don't know who came up with this, but this guy deserves to get his dick sucked every single day
Uh, the the tacos that the shell is a Dorito Doritos Doritos. Do you want to talk about or whatever?
Yeah, do you want to talk about someone who's a stoner coming up with shit? That is what that someone did that
Somebody one day was like, you know, you know, it'd be fire
If you could have a taco
But the shell was a fucking Dorito, dude
And they and they offered and they did it
They offered a cool ranch chip, which is my favorite Dorito
And now you just add all this bullshit that tastes good, but will make me
Piss out brown hot water out of my ass. Yeah, that that buttholes on on uh hiatus
And I'm and I'm like interchangeable too. Like I can't just go. Yeah, let's just get hard shells all day
I want some soft
I don't mind so I feel like people hate on the soft shell hard. I fuck with the shot
Shoft I fuck with shoft. I fuck with the shofties. I love a soft shell
one of each
I don't know
but i'm mcdonald um
If push comes to shove i'll i'm going burger king
over everybody, but uh
I used to like Taco Bell. I'm not a big fan anymore
I haven't had anything in a long time
So I can't really say when's the last time you think you actually really had it what fast food. Well, I mean
See like I don't consider like Popeyes fast food. Oh, it's definitely fast food. It's fast food chain
but like
I know it's like a fast food chain texture wise. You're talking about the behemoths here Popeyes
We're talking about like the four dark horsemen of fast food. I haven't had those in a very long time
It's like burger king and
McDonald's are one. Yeah, and then you have Taco Bell
You're gonna put mount rushmore of fast food right now is I'm not saying the greatest
I'm saying the ones that affect that effect. All right. All right. It's taco bell
Burger king mcdonald's. Mm-hmm. I guess wendy's is up there. Wendy's is up there and uh
I don't know and white castle. Oh white. White castle is literally my least favorite place. It's yeah
I'd rather go wait in line at the dmv
For no reason then eat any white castle. I hear you. What's your mount mount rushmore though?
McDonald's right Taco Bell
uh
If Popeyes counts. Yeah, Popeyes is up there. All right Popeyes and uh,
I don't know
see mine would be
burger king
mcdonald's
Uh wendy's
And if I had to take one more it'd probably be taco bell. Yeah. Yeah, those are like the four horsemen
Yeah, I'm talking about the four dark horse. Yeah, the four dark horsemen
It's a poop element to it. It's like in the Lord of the Rings those dudes with no faces on the dragons. Oh, yeah
That's oh, yeah, you have a snack wrap. They're fucking flying over your house
When you know, you know what you're gonna be dealing with two hours later and you still buy it and eat it
I used to play a game. There was a I before I could drive
I lived
like
12 blocks away from my mcdonald's
So I'd go eat a mcdonald's and then try to walk home. It's like
You try not to show yourself game. Yeah, okay. It's it's a lot of fun. What was your order when you were a kid?
I used to get the number two
I never got numbers. I was always just like let me get a bunch of shit. So I would now I know what now it is
It's a double cheeseburger. Oh, yeah, large fry shake
And I might get a snack wrap
I like snack wraps snack wraps are good. Oh, yeah
And then for a while chickens. I like the wait
Mcchickens changed my fucking life me and my buddy josh we used to go to mcdonald's like all the time
Back when I had a metabolism that was sick
Uh, and I would get two mcchickens
A snack wrap large fry shake
And eat that and then not be able to sleep
Obviously and sweat you're gonna the entire night get cold sweats
Do you remember how easily you could destroy food like that?
Like just crush it and not care though like a party and I would crush out sometimes
I would drink like 20 something beers a night like disgusting. Yeah, and I'd be cool
And then spend like another $30. I wouldn't even be bloated either
Wake up the next day like fucking basketball and shit the next day
I got fucking a rip six back the next morning like I'm chilling
Oh my god, what I would pay to go back to those days
I'm just destroying fucking mcdonald's and having the metabolism. We're like a seven-year-old girl
Yeah, you're either doing that or you're fucking murdering people apparently because I've been watching these like docs on nephalix
uh of these kids that
Uh, you know, there's a fucked up one. I think it's oh it's called lost for life. That's the name of the like the documentaries
I I'm not shitting you. I put it on one night at like 11 30 when I was like kind of half asleep or whatever
and it was dark like whatever
and
I put it on the opening
thing
Is so fucking creepy like the music and stuff. It's like just what's it called lost for life
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna watch when I go home. Dude watch it when you go home. The opening thing is so intense
it's like a call between
This kid who was an inmate talking to his mom and the kid's like I need to get out of here
I want to go home
And she's like we're trying baby, but we can't because you know, we're trying
And the whole time it's real. It's real. The whole time
It's like a punched in picture. You're like, what is this and it's slowly backing out
And eventually and the whole time it's like a creepy thing playing in the background
Like a just a suspenseful
Orchestra just like holding on to that D minor or whatever. She's letting those strings ring
Yeah, and it's it backs up slowly and then eventually it's just a picture of a girl laying there with like stab wounds in her back
Like it's just and I shut it off. I was like, I need to watch this tomorrow. It's that it's that creepy
It's fucking creepy, dude. Is it scarier than like the are you afraid of the dark opening?
Yes, it is. It's the scariest opening I've ever seen. Yeah, it is. It's like chilling. Are you afraid that the dark's not real?
Oh my god, that's how you scare the fuck out of me, too. What? I should fucking scare me
Chill yeah tears and a little light the little fucking little magic
So listen that documentary is all true stories. It's all true stories. It's about kids
hour-long episodes
It's just one one thing. I don't know how long it is. I'll be honest with you, but it's just one thing and it's
Kids who are got arrested at an early age and I like serving life sentences. It's like it's murder
Right. So it's like just it's just like kind of
Should these kids get a second chance like you're 15 not fully developed you murder somebody and then you get a life sense
It's like your life's over
Well, these kids like willingly kill these people or is it like like involuntary like mans loaders and stuff like that?
No, no, no, it's like murders. Oh like they get like premeditated going to kill the motherfucker. Yeah, like I kill this fucking guy
I gotta watch this. Yeah, it's fucked dude, and it's so real. It's so real. It's like
Do you get to meet like anybody like the family people?
Yeah, and you know what's fucking just fucked up. I can't believe you've already been recording for 50 minutes
This is gonna be two hour episode. Oh really?
so, uh
The um the parents
Are just
I get it because it's your kid, but they're just like really oblivious. It's so naive
Yeah, no way my my skater could do that to anyone. No because they know what happened, but
I don't want to give anything away because people are gonna watch this but
Your son was directly involved in a murder and was there at the time of the murder in the house
And is on camera saying just like these fucked up things on camera
This because they were like kind of vlogging it in a way, and this was back in like 97
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. They were basically not the actual murder but like before and after right right right
And i'm sure they probably have some footage of that fucking murder too. They can't I can't put that show on tv
Yeah, they didn't show anything, but they were just telling the story and this is the real it's not reenactment footage
No, it's all real. I definitely gotta watch this it's fucked up
It's fucked up. What was it again lost for life. Yeah gotta check that out. I gotta do it. It's fucked watch it in the daytime
You watch it by yourself at night. I'll be shook. Yeah, you'll be shook
I used to watch all those like youtube like
The top 10 like most unsolved mysteries in america at night that should used to have me shook too. Yeah, I don't fuck with that
That should be great
Like at any point someone could break into this place and just start hacking away
I gotta find new shit on netflix too. I have actually been i've been good with
I i'm a big documentary guy and now it's just been like i mean dude
Netflix has literally become just a murder show. I know everything's murder speaking of documentaries. Did you watch that any?
Kauffman and you watch that. Oh jim and andy. Yeah the jim carry and fucking yo
First of all, this is really good. It was good the actual movie man on the moon
It's a phenomenal. I think I think it was one of those movies that it was better the second time
I saw it because I got to do like a little more risk because it came out when we were young
Right, I didn't end up watching it until I was maybe 20 years old right?
So I one when I did once I did a little more research about him
And watch it again. It's a really really good fucking movie. Yeah, because at the end of it. I remember thinking like
This is genius
And like when he's at the funeral they started singing or whatever his movie's over 10 years old
So 20 years no spoiler alerts here if you haven't seen it yet, you're just yeah, it's so good when
He's doing that. He's like in this friendly friendly world and his funeral
I'm like this is the saddest thing I've ever seen
Yeah, and then it hits the the credits and you're like that was that was incredible
Yeah, and that jim carry was so good in it, but honestly
The documentary was just as entertaining as the movie was for me because it's it's just it's interesting to see that
Because like behind the scene you don't really know what goes on in filming a movie
And especially when you have actors like jim carry and people who like method actors who like really get into a role
And they're always in character like daniel day louis will be homeless quit acting and he's a shoemaker now
You know that yeah, I heard about that. Is that true though? Yeah, it's true. That's awesome. That's yeah, it's it's wild
But um, that dude is fucking terrifying imagine living with that dude in this house
When he was like the there will be blood guy. Oh my god, dude
but
Yeah, it's just like
I was just cool to see him be in character all the time
He refused to be anything other than andy kaufman that entire time. He said that
he uh
He was
He got the role and he was like standing on the shore
He said 15 dolphins came out of the water. Yeah, please and I was like, all right, hold on
I will say this
This is probably not going to be a popular opinion here
Kind of came off like a douche who jim. Yeah, I mean
I think I was a firm believer and then anyone who has some sort of audience is douchey in a way
Right to someone who's not because it's like you
I don't know you you can't help but be sort of
Uh, what's the word I'm looking for a conceded in a way or self absorbed
Because you have to kind of always be working on yourself because that's the only thing you care about right
But if I dropped you in a room, you're somebody with a big following too
I don't know if half the shit that came out of that guy's mouth, but even across your brain
I'm also not nearly as big as them. I'm sure that if I was super famous. I would get douchey
At in certain ways
Like the thing you said when he brought the 15. How'd you counter the dolphins? Yeah, I don't know, but he said that he
Wait, hold on real quick
You got the job. Thanks. Let me count these dolphins. He said that at 15 dolphins came to the surface and then he
Uh, and he came to him and he's like, I didn't shoot that movie and he shot it
Like he claims that and he came into his body
And he just like kind of did it and the entire time it was really weird because
Do you believe that during the
You know, it's crazy like I
Part of you don't want to believe it
But a party part of me is like yo, but maybe like I don't know who are we to say
Do I think that a soul came and went inside? No, I don't think that I think that he was just so focused
and honed in that
It just kind of took a life of its own because I think that actors can get lost in roles for sure
Yeah, like when you're acting a certain way
Eventually you're just going to become what the hell you're acting and it's just then it becomes second nature
especially if you're trying to do that
But he was like doing shit to like jerry the king luller like really bothering him
Yeah, jerry the king luller got fucking pissed. He's like, I'll fucking you know stop you up
And because and jerry the jerry luller was pissed because he's like in person for people who don't know jerry luller and the guy
Andy Kaufman had like this riff, but it was for the camera right and it was fake. He was it was wrestling
Right. It was scripted. So jerry luller was saying
During the documentary you're like dude behind the scenes me and andy were like cool
Yeah, but jerry was not like that at all. Yeah, like he was always in
Andy Kaufman on tv mode
So he was fucking with him behind shaking his trailer throwing shit at him. Yeah like dumping water on him
Yeah, and he was getting so mad and he's like this is bullshit because it's not how me and andy acted
Imagine you had to work with somebody like that
It was rough and the director like everyone had to call him andy
Like oh, I saw that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and somebody was like, hey, thanks a lot jim. He's like, I don't know jim is but
I'll let him know I'll let him know that you said that. Yeah, I was like this dude's weird
Oh, and then you went on that weird spiel about free will that made no sense. Yeah, so he
Someone mentioned jim lost jim lost me with that. I was like, yeah, this guy's moving over into the douchey realm here
He said that
He's like if I pick up this water and drink it
Because i'm thirsty. Is that free will I picked it up because I was thirsty. Does that sound like free will?
I was like, well, yeah, yeah
I get where he's going. I get where he was trying to go, but i'm like, it's kind of free will jim
Because you freely picked up that glass and you drank it. I just feel once you get to that level
of like
I guess acting
You're gonna no one's gonna really understand you unless you do that type of shit
Yeah, Tom Hardy's like that too. Like what?
Like never breaks character. Oh, he stays in at the entire time like him and like mad max like him and charlie
They're on like hating each other. They wanted to kill each other
That's when they said jared leto did that shit on suicide squad
Yeah
But how can you be the joker all the time? It's not you're not killing people
Yeah, no, like suicide squad was so bad
It was terrible just so wack
I didn't like the jokers look either like no, they gotta get they gotta get a new joker. I think
Yeah, they do they should kill this one or then just have like somebody be a new joker
You know what it is. It's like after heath ledger. What are you gonna?
What are you what the who the fuck's gonna do it now jack niggleson was great too
That was before I know, but i'm just saying like you had two amazing jokers. So it's not like
Jack niggleson was an amazing joker and honestly nobody ever thought that they could do better than that
Then he ledger fucking knocked it out of the park. So I think there is room for someone to be a really good joker
I really I I
This I might be going out on a limb here, but I think heath ledger's joker might be the greatest adaptation ever
I think it's ridiculous
I would say it's him and the cartoon joker are my favorite jokers
The cartoon joker from the batman tv show right because mark hamill does the voice
And does he really I didn't know I never do that. No mark hamill is the joker
Wow, you got to see watch him do like live shit or like comic cons and stuff
You know all the arkham games. Yeah, that that's his voice. He's the joker in those
That guy's luke skywalker and the joker. Yeah, I can't believe you didn't know that I didn't mind's blown now, isn't it?
It is so blown. Yeah, so and he was my joker growing up. So uh, it's a time between those guys
Fair enough and he's ledger was in character most of the time. They said too. Yeah, he was fucked up from it
Obviously, but imagine killing yourself like kind of like based off like role. I don't think that happened
But you think he killed himself because he played the joker or like became a bigger drug addict because of the joker
It was on drugs
I don't I don't know the story. I don't really know it either. It's funny because people say
That jack Nicholson warned him about that role like don't get too caught up in it because I mean it is a fucked up role
Yeah, like you have to and and the way that he played it was you could tell this dude was like living it
Like you know what I mean? You had to if you're gonna do that
so it's like
Do I think that maybe it could have enhanced something? Yeah, I think so probably could I guess it could send him maybe
Into like a deeper darker place. It's just crazy that acting
Could be able to do that to somebody
Yeah, because we we talk about it and it's just like
We don't realize how serious these people take it right because dude I went on a an audition once
and
I was just trying to like
it the lines it wasn't a lot of
Like the audition wasn't long
It was like one page like how hard is that to remember?
So like I knew my lines and I'm just kind of
I guess confident in what the hell I'm saying. So I'm like
Just like sitting there trying to talk to these people and they're just not having it
No, I'm like, oh man like whatever like trying to be small talk because it's weird
You're sitting in a room with all these people and no one's talking
It's like so I tried to be that person and everyone's like, yeah
And like they don't talk and they're just like very honed in very serious like to take it very seriously
And it was like a funny role too, right? Obviously if I'm doing I'm in there trying to be fucking
You know, yeah, I'm serious. I'll be in dear John or anything
You know what I mean? I'm gonna get in there and fake cry or some shit. I couldn't I don't know
I want to just go on one audition just to see what it's like just to see like what the process is
Like you always see it like on tv and shit
But everyone that I talk to that goes on auditions has like that's like similar story
Like they'll be like I went in there and like to be cool like everyone was just like way too business oriented and it was weird
Yeah, I mean my audition wasn't
It wasn't like you see on entourage where someone you stand you stand in a room
And then there's a table with like six people and I'll just stare at you and you just go
It wasn't like that
for me, I went to this
place and
There was like seven people there at the time for my time
And they'd call you into a room one by one
and in the room there was
Someone who read and then the casting director and then the
Video camera got it and then you just sit in the chair and you do the scene
And sometimes they had notes and be like, oh, you know do it more like this or you know do whatever because that's kind of what I asked
at first because I they knew that I have never been on audition before right and
My agent like let them know like he's never been on audition like whatever
So when I first got in there, I was like
I had a question about I was like do you want this to be like this or that they're like just do whatever you feel
So like all right, so I did it the way I felt when I read it
And they wanted me to do it differently. It's such a hard old move. So I did it differently and then
There was another scene for a different character that I did and they liked that one like right away
And I didn't get it
Do you remember any of the lines?
No, I didn't and that was another thing. I'm not trying to sound like a fucking asshole here. Well, this is gonna sound douchey, but
I I felt like it was really hard for me because I'm currently in the middle of writing a script
Right and I'm almost done writing the first episode, which I kind of want you to read after this. Yeah, but
I found it very hard to be funny and act funny when I didn't believe the lines were funny
Yeah, so I was like, you know what I mean? So it's like
I don't think this is funny, but I have to deliver it as if it is right and that's hard
Well, it's also very hard when you can't make something yourself
Like when you try to make it yourself to try and make it funny when you don't think it's funny
Yeah, it's gonna be very hard to like relay that message to people that are trying to watch you act
Right, like there's just
I think I could act. Yeah, but I don't think I could be like you dude. You could definitely act
You could you could act if you wanted to thank you, man bro bro. You could fucking act
I swear to god, dude, dude. Yo, I'm I look at you and you're just like like, yo, I don't say this to many people
But you could fucking act dude
You could act your ass off. It's like the scene in stepbrothers like I'm not just some guy
I'm not just some guy you can sing. I know
I've had a sore throat for a month and a half
Dude, that was amazing. You could definitely act
But you want to know you should you're writing your own thing acting what you think is funny
Right, exactly. So that's why I put more passion into that than you would somebody else wrote it
I think that it's easier to do when you're writing
You're part of the writing experience and you kind of just because you're you're creating the scenes in your head as you're going through
Yeah, I mean, of course
So it's like, you know how it's going to look how your face should look and how how it should be said
But when you have someone who you don't know, they're completely
Different for sure. You know what I mean? It's that is tough. I don't think I could do that kind of acting
Well, when it comes to like I always looked at it
is
Even like when you do youtube videos or like for my case when I was doing like vine videos and so you are acting in a
sense
So like you're you're entertaining people but the the people that you're entertaining is directly your audience
So you know
What's funny to them, right? The harder thing is stepping outside the box and now
How am I going to get a new audience? How am I going to make shit? That's funny for
Almost not everyone but you make it a larger scale
Right, so I'd rather try to do that with something. That's like my own
Material than like somebody else's yeah
So I think I would have just a better shot at doing that
Yeah, I just feel like
You know
There's people who
I feel like there's like three tiers of actors
You're either like a legit actor who can like take on any role right like classically trains, right?
Or you can't act at all. You just don't have it in you to like
Be able to you put a camera in front of most people's faces and they like start talking differently
And they you know what I mean? They're weird like that
And then I feel like there's like a middle where it's like me where it's like I can only do certain things
You know what I mean, but you know your limitations though
but I also like
I feel like I could be in a serious role
But I also would have to be a part of the writing experience
You know what I mean because I can't just like expand on that a little bit
You really like you think that you could play like a serious role like not crack one joke in a movie
I mean not not crack one joke, but I know like I could be in like a rom-com I think
That's exactly I mean like you could be serious. There's serious moments
Or maybe there's like a upsetting moment that you have to be upset. I believe I could do that
Dude if Paul Rudd could make people cry you could make people fucking love Paul. I like Paul Rudd
Love Paul Rudd. Love Paul Rudd
But like it's even to fucking Adam Sandler
you know
Where I work now my boss was one of the first people to put him on stage and like he used to go on stage
and
not have material
Just do it. He would just go up there and riff and and
People would ask my boss all the time. They'd be like, yo, why do you put him on stage?
And he's like because he just kind of like has like that in factor
So the in factor exists so like you'll be able to trans
Not transform your work, but be able to transform yourself a little bit so you could fit that
Adam Sandler's made plenty of people cry and that dude's not like an actor like or actor actor actor
Yeah, like in click like when it's like when his dad's like dying or whatever
Yeah, straight tears. That's fucked up. That dude was Billy Madison
Making people cry now and making bank making serious bank, you know
I think a smart thing about and I've never done anything. So my opinion doesn't matter, but
I feel like if knowing your limitations as an actor
Is just as important as like actually what you're doing like in terms of like the work that you're doing
Yeah, because
It really just it really depends like as as long as I believe in what I'm saying
Yeah, like this makes sense and that's gonna be more if I think if you write it because your whole process up to this point
Has been you're creating it. Yeah, and I don't know if that's like
You know I'm
If it sucks it sucks and that's on me, but like I I just like
I don't know but you're writing something that you think is funny to yourself
And then you know what that's how everything starts
I'm writing a show you think South Park like those guys that started that
Those guys they started with what they thought was funny
But now everybody in the world almost thinks it's funny
So you never know you just give it a shot and let me get like three co-stars
All right
Three different characters. Let me get three costars. Yeah
Let me just play a bunch of different characters. Yeah, man. I like love this script so far. I've written it
Three times this is the third time. Is it one episode? It's one episode, but I write in the pilot right, but I have
Outlines for the other episodes for I mean not all of them yet, but I have like a good
Like it's either gonna be eight or ten
How many pages is like a typical like that?
Look, it's usually like a page is a minute a page is a minute. Got it. That's usually how they do it
But I mean, I don't know like this one so far right now. I have 19 and I still have about
Three solid scenes left. Nice. So I'll probably hit that 30 mark fire and then well, I'm excited to read it after
Yeah, it's it's pretty dope. Have you told anybody the name yet or you're keeping it?
No, I don't have a name for it
Yeah, right at first the name will come naturally
Yeah, so there's there was a working name that I had but I hate it and I knew it wasn't going to be called that
I just did it because I needed to have a title. Can we say it on the air? You don't want to
No, I don't want to
Um, and I do write with someone but I still haven't said who I write with either
So I'm not going to say that keep it on the low keep it on the low
Yeah, but I'm super excited about this man. I just can't wait for it to be done
So I could just like start showing Pete. Fuck. Yeah. I'm like, yo, just read this like see what's up
How long have you been working on it?
Uh
A while actually like over a year
No, not over a year
Hold on. There's a picture I posted on instagram when I first sat down and was like, all right, I'm gonna write a script
So let me find this picture on instagram
But I remember I was on here it is
Uh, April 26th, April 26th, right? So I the caption was that uh
I'm currently writing a script because I had an idea for a series for netflix
Or one of those platforms which I've by the way, I've
already decided that
Netflix is gonna make this where I'm gonna die
It's all right. Uh, it's a it's a long shot
But if it gets picked up by somebody a year from now, this will be a cool picture to look back on. Fuck. Yeah
But so so here's how it went. I I wrote an episode, right and it was 20 some pages
And I showed a bunch of people. It's like, hey read this check it out. Like I wrote a script like whatever
for an episode and
Then
I asked a lot of people to give me notes. No, everyone's just kind of like, oh dude
It's funny, but I don't really know like what's going on yet. I don't know what's happening
So it's like, oh, but it's funny like whatever. I was like, all right, cool. Whatever and I you know
It was just my first shot at it. I just kind of whatever and then
I asked one of my friends
Yo, can you
Seriously give me notes on this
And he had like three pages of notes
And I agreed with all of them. Nice. So I had to scrap the entire thing
So that idea that I originally had
The idea is sort of still there, but we just started over right and we started from the beginning we got
20 pages in
and went
This isn't it either and we scrapped it scrap that and now we're
We're here, but now we're very confident and like, okay
This is the thing we're moving forward and like when we're done with writing the pilot
We're just gonna go over it again and kind of get rid of some things or whatever and just do whatever
But we're we're not we're just like we're set on this
Idea right now. Good. Good. So we're at least you knew when to scrap it if you wanted to scrap it
That's hard to do. It's hard. It sucks to do. It's gotta be discouraging. I do. I hate it so much
I was so upset. He's like, it's all right. He's like, listen, I have a
I want to tell you something and he told me all this stuff and I was just like, oh my god. Yeah, fuck
Yeah, and then we're just like, all right. Yeah, I was like, so we're almost there though. Yeah
I'm in the business. Uh like not in the business. I'm I'm
I will do whatever I
Whatever it takes to make this I want this to be the show that I want to be a show people like that's the funniest fucking show
I've ever seen right, you know what I mean? So I'll do whatever it takes. I'll write it 15 times. Yeah, but
You know
We'll we'll see how it goes. It's killing it. Joe santa gata out here right in fucking screening place and shit anything
This guy can't do I got a boner right now
Right now on the table. I don't know. Are you gonna start it? I would like to yeah
Well, yeah, I'm gonna do good. Yeah, I would like to I'm gonna ask people upstairs
Yeah, I don't know at the top
No, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna be in it
um, it's awesome
So, you know, it's funny too
Whenever something funny happens or someone that I know says something or a funny situation happens
Who are here about a funny situation? I write it down in my phone like immediately. Yeah, and I'm working like all of them in
Eventually, there's not a lot in this first episode. There's a few
There's like two or three maybe but I have a ton. So it's like throughout this whole thing
There's gonna be things that happen that people might think
This is ridiculous. How did it come up this? It's like because this happened. You know what I mean?
That's I feel like that stuff's the best material too when it's based on like real shit. Yeah, you know
It also just helps the writing process. Yeah, I'm fucking I'm super good brother. That's very that's very fun
I'm excited to read it excited
But yeah, that's what I'm that's uh, that's what I'm doing netflix joe netflix joe netflix joe
The netflix green that'd be crazy, man. Yeah, they're green light a lot of shit
You've been watching the new south park episode. That's all they've been talking about
Is that how fucking netflix green lights? I really like this hysterical
I don't know how they make money
They don't they like they I don't understand
Well, it's just like how I I'm assuming I mean, I don't know the specifics of it
But like a company like twitter. They're not they don't have revenue
Right, but they sell ads. Don't they get revenue now? Yeah, but that's
Minimal yeah minimal compared to
They're big because they have such a mass audience that people will
Buy into it because it's like this won't fail. Right. You know what I mean?
People will keep coming back here
It's like a weird thing that people some people don't understand if they're not like into that
But some of these companies they don't generate revenue
You know what I mean? So it's just like people are investing money into a company that doesn't generate revenue
But that's why that goes up and down. That's why you have to
Like you said though, they have a service that's not really going to go away because people like it that much
So it will be there. That's why vine died
Because they couldn't make any money
And then twitter was like we'll just we just want the technology. Yeah, so they bought they sold the tech
Yeah
But apparently like the vine dudes are coming up with something else or something
Yeah, they're gonna have like some beta and they might bounce it to
To us some people that were like big or whatever. Nice. I was a rumor, but it'd be cool to like test out some beta
Try to get famous again. Vine was
Vine was funny, man. Vine was the shit. Vine was great. You know, it's funny
People realize how much they miss it now. Yeah, my twitter is just all like, yeah, I miss vine so much. I'm like, you fucking miss vine
I fucking miss. I miss vine dude. I miss my fucking chat
I uh
I miss uh
You know what it is too like random people have the best vines, but like vineers. I don't miss that
No, I don't miss vineers, but I do miss that platform
Just people having the most absurd random six second videos
And she's like, you don't know how this person is they have one video that went crazy and it's amazing
Those were all the funniest ones to be honest. Yeah, like I know I've made some really funny ones
Like I get it, but they're like not like produced but like I'm working on like putting it out
Like I want it to be funny
That was the worst part that ever happened when I got to a point where like
You like had to be you care about it. Yeah
Like you cared about it and like you had to be funny because that took all the fucking fun out of it
Yeah, because like once you got like once I hit around like three or four hundred thousand people would start being like
Uh, this sucks. This isn't like as good as your other shit. And I just feel like I suck my fucking dick
Yeah, it's like I'm fucking around. Yeah, dude. I'm I'm singing about titties into a phone like chill out like it's not
You know, I'm not fucking painting the Mona Lisa over here
so
But like you said
That's why I always loved the ones that were like one offs just one off bangers
Yeah, people would always have like the best ones. Yeah, and also created like this like subculture where I was like
Everyone shared this kind of inside joke that you only get if you knew from but like
Like, uh, like they always had those ones like when they would put music to like videos that didn't fit
Like when those goth kids are dancing
Like they're doing like that whole fucking dance and they put like future behind it
Like they're obviously not dancing the future. All those one-off ones are great
Yeah, but like vinyrs like fucking like all those people that were just making
Yeah, do you know those vinyrs are still making youtube videos are the same thing as vines? Like they're all just like
Stereotyping. Yeah
Ethnic ethnicities. Yep, and just running with that. Yep. It's like
How much do you think like logan paul's worth right now? Oh, dude, forget about it. He's a millionaire. He's a millionaire, right? Oh, what?
I'm I can almost guarantee he has in cash in his bank account
At least seven million dollars fucking kill me
Right now that's not in investments and that's not like nothing. He's probably got money on the street too
Like man should invest in companies. Oh for sure. You have to I mean, I said I could straight
His brother's straight too, right? Oh, yeah, they're both straight. Yo, they're both like
They're set take him. Yeah, they're set. Fuck my life. They both bought
Fucking these big ass cribs big cribs. You you haven't seen this. No, no, no, you you'd be like, yo, what?
Like they're huge. I gotta check out lp's crib
The funniest thing is about that too is those guys used to be like when I used to make fun of people on vines
Shit, they used to be like, yo, please make fun of me. Like you have to like please do it
Like I was cool to them at one point Logan now they wouldn't even
Give me a dollar Logan
Logan Paul's house. I think is worth like 10 million dollars. That's so fire
It's crazy at the same time. Yeah LP out here winning LP's out here
22 years old you did vine for a little bit though, right? I mean, I didn't really do vine
I should have I should have jumped on that. I know it was a missed opportunity on my part
Could have got a couple more checks. Yeah, I could be living in a 10 million dollar house. It's all right
It's good. I like your apartment right now. I love my apartment. The apartment's very very nice
If I had 10 million dollars, Joe, your apartment's really nice. Thank you
If I had 10 million dollars
There's no house
Around here that I would like want to live in. No, if someone said to me like, you know, 10 million dollars 5 million dollar house
and she said no
But not even that it's like I live here. There's no places like that here
No, you would have to move away from the city. You have to move like even if it's like 20 minutes
You know in the opposite directions, you can get a house with a nice backyard
Like Jersey or something you're still away from it all. Yeah, you know, and I don't want to do that
You want to be right here? Yeah, you could never live in Manhattan Manhattan. No, I fuck that
Living in Manhattan is so stupid. I want to live in the city. You could you ever really? No, probably not
No, probably not. I'm talking about like right outside. Yeah, but where you live now this shit is becoming Manhattan now
Yeah, it is it's so close, but it's never gonna be Manhattan. No, never Manhattan is disgusting. It really is
I would live in a good area though
I live in a great area because it you're super
Upper east upper east side. Yeah upper east. So it's like
You know, I'm talking about like Midtown's a fucking shit show. Yeah, man. Well, they're almost every day
It's my least favorite place on earth. I hate it to death can't drive the biggest piece of shit
You can't do anything and there's always just tons of people around doesn't matter where you are
It's just like I always tell the guys like I have the same like same like homeless dudes outside
And they ask me for like money every day. So if I have it on me like I'll do it
But like I always joke around with them like guys if I give you any more money, I'm gonna be holding this bucket
You know what I mean? I'll you're gonna have one more you're gonna have more competition on this corner. Yeah, you know
It's just everything's way too expensive
Yeah, it's wild. It's wild wild wild. I couldn't wow. Wow. Wow. Are you gonna watch any of the football giants today?
I'm not watching this shit
Your boy caught him, right?
I fucked fucked him. I'm my fandom was on hold until bemac can do to get started. So you're not gonna watch any more games
I'll watch I'll watch highlights. No, no, no, I'm gonna watch red zone
Which the giants are never on because they're never in the red zone
We're gonna go octobox here that guy's super hype about an octobox
Chris Hansen
Was it Mike Hansen? Chris Hansen's the the the rape Scott Scott Hansen. We're gonna go octobox here
You asked for it. We got it
Octobox and I also love that they always do like they always go to like the browns game for some reason
The browns just got over the 43 yard line. So we're gonna go check out that game now
Look at the browns the Sean Kaiser has four interceptions
It's like it's always like the ravens versus browns game is on the red zone. I fucking can't stand it
Yeah, I can't stand it
all right, well
Hour 20 hour 20. Let's wrap this the fuck up. Danny. It's been run. It's been run. It's been run. It's been run, Danny
It's been real
All right, it's been super real. Where can they uh contact you bud?
Uh, you catch me on my instagram and twitter. It's at danielopriori and uh come hang out. It's very fun
It's it's very
All right guys, and that is all we'll see you next time. Peace