The Basement Yard - It's Hard Being A Kid

Episode Date: May 7, 2018

On this episode, @DannyLopriore & I are talking about church, soda, & superhero Keith. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome back to the basement yard today. It's just me and Danny. You know I'm saying just a just a little bit of Joe and Dan JD go What JD JD JC Jesus Christ Take him to church take him to church. What was the last time you went to church? The last wow. I don't think that is a great question like years years Not counting like a holiday like literally just like went to church. I'll count holidays since we're both like kind of fake religious I
Starting point is 00:00:35 went like four years ago like on unlike New Year's Eve or something New Year's is wait New Year's Eve Christmas Eve Christmas Eve It's cuz count that ten nine with the fucking with father O'Brien or whatever the fuck. That's a good guess Yeah, that's a good What was that? I don't know. It's like what they always say when like they bless you. I feel like I mean I went to English Churches, I don't know what you said. I had like also Think about church, too. I never could see where the music was coming from dude I used to think it was just on like I know someone was pressing a button
Starting point is 00:01:10 There's somebody hidden in there fucking just playing an organ. Yeah, because they hide the choir They don't want anyone to see it Every time I would just be like they don't always be yet. Look where the fuck is this coming from? Beautiful music. Where are these these 30 people singing from right now? Yeah, dude Go, but honestly going to church as a kid though. Oh Dude, first of all for the when I was growing up My parents made us go to church every Sunday until we made our confirmation Which is eighth grade right and then you can do whatever you want and then none of us went back
Starting point is 00:01:41 But like we've gone Sunday every Sunday. Yeah Wow, you did a lot of church. I did a ton of church And you know, it's funny because I stopped going for a long time I didn't go and like I mean I would go to like holidays like you know Like fucking Christmas and Easter Palm Sunday like shit like that. You know the easy ones. Yeah But I remember like not going for like two years and then showing up and they like changed some of the prayers And I'm like hold on. Yeah Like the temple of this our father is off. I know like why are we switching it up?
Starting point is 00:02:15 The other things too is like Catholic Church. They always have like like The word of the Lord, you know, I mean, and then like if you don't know it, you're like, holy shit You know the one that I don't know the one that's like People just like raise their thumb and they do like a bunch of stuff They like rub it like they do like this they do stuff Yeah, and they just like and then their arm moves slowly down like I don't know what's going on I've never known. Yeah, I was just like I know this is a cross I know then there's one on like the nose or mouth that I don't know
Starting point is 00:02:47 There's one and then there's one like near the heart that I don't know. No, I'm like, yeah, I don't know these moves I was some people fake it. Some people. Yeah, I'm like that dude. That's like. Yeah, it's like just Macarena. Yeah What am I doing here? Steven Macarena shirt. The worst is when they would send you away from your parents. Oh Yeah, all the kids get into the basement. I'm like, yeah, first of all Mmm, you know get a little crazy with the reps that they have. I know not good That shit felt like you were being torn away from your family forever I was actually hyped because I was like, oh fuck think I don't have to sit here and listen to this guy
Starting point is 00:03:22 Church usually is like what like an hour? Yeah, I don't know. There's like that half hour where he just kind of freestyles. Whatever he's saying. Yeah, I feel like that I try to make it relatable It's like the longest hour of your life as a kid though Yeah, I know I hated waking up you know, you have to go to fucking church tomorrow. It's terrible I used to faint in church all the time too. What? Yeah, I don't know if that means like something better But I used to faint like constantly. It was hot as fucking there, dude They had no AC you'd faint like legit faint like faint pass out
Starting point is 00:03:51 I wouldn't like drop to the floor, but I'd have to leave so I could like get fresh air, right It's a little weird. God was telling me something. I think the fuck out of here The fuck out of here nerd smell your fucking demon demonery and heathenery from outside, dude, Keith. Did you just fart? No That's where if I farted I'd own that I'm literally trying to fart right now. I can't I Thought you farted no no no no fart Keith and church that's not like a fart everyone
Starting point is 00:04:29 it like Keith's whole thing because The priest was was this dude from like Africa sometimes when you're a kid and someone has an accent that doesn't sound like you You think it's the funniest thing in the world So when he would say like brothers and sisters like Keith would just immediately look at me With a face and I try to make me laugh And I'm like yo, I don't and my mom would be like hitting us in the pew Like she'd be fucking thrown elbows and shit. There was you the pew. Yes pepula pew They'd always be like
Starting point is 00:05:04 The half the half talk half sing yeah And on the third day heroes again, it's like dude either sing or talk, right? Don't don't do this half and a half. Yeah, come on. Don't fucking on it one way. This is my goddamn Sunday Yeah, come on if you're gonna sing belt it out. Yeah, you're gonna talk talk to me, man I don't fucking half-ass it. Don't confuse me. It's too early to be confused On a Sunday, you're either gonna let it go or fucking talk to me. That's what I'm saying belt it out or fucking buckle it down Yeah, that's I yeah 100% I agree. I didn't like that at all. Oh, you know what else used to freak me out The fucking you know when he would hold up the host. Yes, like in Catholic Church
Starting point is 00:05:45 They would get like first the host was what the fuck are you doing? Oh, I thought you were talking like when like the altar boy We like raised the cross like this. No, no Remember you know the host the host is a thing. Yeah, I know the host is the thing you eat Yeah, yeah, so he would hold it up and then a bell would ring and that would be like yeah We bless this shit, you know what I mean, but you didn't know where the bell was coming from when you were younger It was like it was like yeah It was like an altar boy like on his knees like next to the altar like Discreetly just like ringing a bell and I never knew until I got older and I was like look at that fuck
Starting point is 00:06:18 I see him now. That's also wack though. Like we're talking about just going being altar boys probably wack as fuck It's trash trash imagine having like Responsibilities in this I know show It's tough. Also. The thing is to hold that big-ass book. It's got like 9,000 pages. It's like every Harry Potter book Into one huge like little ass seven-year-old kids like holding it up like father, please hurry every time I see that too I was like, yeah, the Bible at home is not that big. Yeah, what's in that book? They have like the unabridged version Yeah, they have like extra they got extra pages. Yeah, they're not telling anybody director's cut. Yeah Man, I should suck this kid be the kid stuff
Starting point is 00:06:59 Yo, Juan There was one time Like I said Keith was just like a bad kid Especially in church. Yeah, and there was this one time where someone farted And my mom like everyone heard it my mom looks at Keith and Keith just goes And points to the woman who is sitting in front And he's like, yo, she farted. Yo, he left like you would not believe farts will never not be funny farts are hysterical Dude, if you can't laugh at a fart, I don't want to I don't want to talk. I don't want to know you
Starting point is 00:07:34 I don't want to know you. I don't want to be a fart in church Foreign church is amazing. That's like that raises the level of the fart by like a thousand dude two stories Right, you're not gonna believe that happened in church. Did you had an eventful church? I'm telling you I did There was one time we go into church as a family It was nighttime for some I don't know what it might have been Christmas Did you get dressed up for church? Remember that was suck I didn't know because like on Christmas Eve you're like dressed up like to go to a restaurant and like that's kind of But I wasn't like wearing a tux or like some crazy Italian shit like I'm not that Italian, you know what I mean, yeah
Starting point is 00:08:12 But I walked into church and In like right when you walk in at the top of the aisle They have the holy water No, well, yeah, but they have like the wine and the host or whatever just sitting there And we walked past it to go to our seats and I see a big-ass fly is in it So I was like, yeah, there's a fly in there All right, so then we get to our seats and I tell my mom I'm like, you know, there's a fly in the wine Don't drink the wine
Starting point is 00:08:40 Fucking bird flu swine flu H1N1 all those things. Those are both SARS. Yeah, you know, whatever that was yucky Yeah, yucky girl stuff in there. I'm for sure West Nile. That's the one I was thinking of But she's like enough like whatever she thought I was fucking around then the dude gets it and he goes praise to you And it all you saw it He looks down at it and he points at it and I'm looking at my mom like told you bitch And then they the altar boy brings it in the back. Yeah, literally less than 10 seconds later comes back out So I'm thinking he just did a fish job. Yeah, maybe you took his hand in there Yeah, I was like, I would flip that thing out of there. Yeah
Starting point is 00:09:19 But it was so weird and then the other story is I had CCD which was like Sunday school. Yeah that you had to go to one of my teachers hated me so much. What's your confirmation name? Nicholas Nicholas I forgot it for a second. I was like, all right a long time ago another story I'm in I went to CCD and then afterwards we're like meeting my mom at church was meet Keith and this kid Dylan that we know and There's a moth on the altar And everyone's talking about this moth because it keeps flying away and then landing back on the altar like whatever So then all the old women are like, oh my god, like so many so like ever this moth like whatever
Starting point is 00:10:03 Yo, this kid Dylan, you know, they had those books. Yeah, they like put in the pew. Yeah Yeah, him books. Yeah, he took it and then walked up to the altar and just went boom and Slanted on this moth and then turns up. This is before before church started. Yeah, or whatever the fuck He then he picks it up turns around towards everyone He's standing on the altar and on the back of the book is just like white dust this moth does and then everyone starts Oh Me and Keith are losing our minds we were dying that's hysterical though. No, I was the fact that everyone claps pretty cool Oh, it was amazing. They could have been such tight asses about it
Starting point is 00:10:52 Yeah, tight asses tight asses sick tight ass tight buttle. Nothing better get in there Get in there. It's hard It's better like yeah, like I was saying like being kids rough, man, I mean I think about like how hard like Growing up like Little shit like just getting on the bus Like a public bus or like a school bus. No, no, no, I'll Cheese bus. I would never get on a public bus again in my life. No, I retired from now. I retire. It's terrifying Yeah, fuck that that shit is like everyone's it's just fight for your life
Starting point is 00:11:28 It's a big bathroom filled with psychos. Also the other thing though, you do feel so good when you like give someone your seat Yeah, like an old lady will come there. No, but here's the thing, right? I hated I hated it because like when I where I went to high school. I was taking the bus to and fro every day and It was packed dude because I'm going to Main Street. There's tons of people everyone switching buses and doing whatever Yeah, so there's tons of people on this bus. You there's never a day It's like, oh, wow, I can sit down and just whatever if you got a seat It was amazing So if there's a seat in the front of the bus, you're like fucking I'm taking this because you're not gonna get a seat in the back
Starting point is 00:12:03 So I say you sit down near the front and then I would feel weird when a woman in like her fifties Comes on the bus because like you're supposed to give up your seat to the elderly and I'm like borderline. She's borderline I'm like, yo Like you're kind of flirting with Senior citizen, but I don't want to offend you like excuse me old bitch You want to sit because you might die if you stand Like do one more nice thing for you before you die. Yeah, also. I also hate the like people that get on The bus or the train
Starting point is 00:12:33 That and you give them your seat and it's like, yeah, like you were like supposed to do that Yeah, well, thanks. Yeah, just like thanks. I'm like already though and just pee on their seat. Yeah, fuck you Yeah, I hated that. I hated that but being on a bus as a kid. First of all the school bus you're talking about I'm talking about yellow cheese. Oh yellow buses yellow buses getting picked up. Yeah fucking hierarchy on that fucking bus. I Yes, first you know where the coolest on the counter 30 Where's the coolest place to sit on the bus? One two three the back the back the back the back And you know the party it did you sit in the back though? Yes at the back. Fuck. Yeah, like also for how long I had to earn it How'd you earn it? Um, just being being cool
Starting point is 00:13:20 She's like having like being really good at handball. I killed somebody No, I was really good at kickball and I was like one of the fastest kids Yeah, like I just like kind of like I was just able to sit in the back Yo speed is like currency when you're younger fuck. Yeah, if you're fast everyone fucks at you And you can do whatever you want. Everyone was just like, yeah See this kid running the 40 so fucking fast. Yeah, come sit back here. Yeah, like it was but I just remember Being on the bus being like damn, you know, like I don't know what my life would be like if I had to sit in the front This bitch
Starting point is 00:13:53 It's so weird. It makes no sense. And it's weird how people have like assigned seats Everyone gets on the same. Yeah for some reason you sit the same place every day. Yeah fucking weird dude in when I was in middle school This is when I started riding. I only rode the cheese bus six to eight Yeah, I only wrote it for a few years six grade to eighth grade in sixth grade when I first got there new school Uh There wasn't like a ton of white kids in the school off flexing though. What you got to come out flexing Yeah, I mean like but I was good at I was really good at basketball for my age in sixth grade Oh, that's that's almost I was in. Yeah, you know, I mean, but like when I first when I first got there
Starting point is 00:14:30 I just sat where wherever was open, you know what I mean? So like I even like before even knew I like I know I can't go on the back though No So I was like near the middle sort of and sitting there and then one day like two months into school going there This fucking kid who sat in the back of the class. He was in eighth grade I was in sixth grade just walks up to me and like I'm sitting near the window, right? So there's someone in between us and he just looks at me goes. Yo you come here. I was like and He just brought me to the back of the bus and you got called up drafted
Starting point is 00:15:03 That's fire. It was so cuz I didn't know I've never spoken to him in my life I had a Mike Rick Jersey on that might have been it. Yeah, I could have been it easily Is it weird that I remember what I was wearing? No, it's also the only thing that's weird is that you do remember that amazing point in your life Yeah, I remember that They all used to call me Shawn Michaels They would call me Shawn because they said I looked like Shawn Michaels, which I didn't like let's be honest You know, I'll take you back then though. Shawn Michaels kind of smoky. Okay. I did was crushing all kinds of stuff
Starting point is 00:15:29 Like I never I never had to sit in the front of the bus. Thankfully. Yeah in my life So I was lucky enough to get back there. Also the bumps were always the best in the back of the bus Yeah, that was the whole point fucking get major air major air major air back there Oh bars bars. You ever see videos on the internet of like Kids aren't wearing seatbelts on buses. Obviously getting tossed Off the ceiling and shit. You're like, yo, what are these kids doing man? Also the bus people are getting jerked on my bus sometimes. Yeah an eighth grade. Yeah Super fire like handies
Starting point is 00:16:09 Also like buses like To like school trips Yeah, people were getting jerked off on those. Oh, yeah, a lot of jerking off a lot of jerking off. Yeah, not me though No No, I'd thank but no it's never happened to me. You ever got jade and like a movie theater No, I got jade and movie theater once I never like none of that stuff ever happened to me No, none of the none of the like the cliche like movie stuff Like I never played seven minutes in heaven every place been the bottle and never done like
Starting point is 00:16:37 All like didn't happen to you. Yeah, like kissing in a movie theater or like whatever. I just nothing Nothing happened. You ever kiss somebody in a movie theater? Even I watch this fucking movie. I'm not turning my head Yeah, it's true. It's true. The only movie theater like thing I can even like it in sixth grade Or no, it was like third grade. I went to go see my dog skip in the movies. Oh first of all sad as shit Frankie went it was my birthday went to see my dog skip. There were girls there I cried everyone made fun of me. It was awesome. Yeah, it's rightfully so though. Yeah, Frankie munis Munis
Starting point is 00:17:12 Munis or munis munis Frankie munis isn't like m unis though No, uh, no iz easy Man, you're gonna spill something else. Yeah Let's see. I gotta check though Malcolm in the middle though. Good show It was iz. Thank you Yo Frank that's a weird looking dude. Yeah, he looks like he looks like a chihuahua. He looks like how he looked when he was seven with
Starting point is 00:17:39 Facial hair. Yeah, that sucks Yeah, he looks like an old painter Like from like the 1600s. He's very strange looking. I agree with that. Honestly, that makes a lot of sense to me Yeah, he looks very strange. I don't yeah, I don't like Frankie munis I'm actually a cool guy. He was in everything like when we were kids No, he wasn't Malcolm in the middle. He was in the banks Cody. Wow Cody banks. Yeah, he was crushing a couple of my dog skip He had an accent in that It was good performance
Starting point is 00:18:06 The other thing that sucked about going to the movies breaking racial barriers in that movie by the way That is true Very true that movie was pretty good But you can't hit a dog with a shovel and expect me not to cry. No. Yeah, it's fucked. Yeah, it's fucked All those girls could fucking well. Yeah, where are they now? Whatever Where are they now? Where are you now? Yeah, I cried but look at me now. Look at me now. Look at me now. Look at I mean
Starting point is 00:18:34 Yeah, go into it. You also like you never I never had like money though like going into like movie theaters when I was a kid Do I had no I got the ticket. That was it. Yeah, I was lucky to have no candy for me. No no fucking soda Nothing. No, dude. I had no money soda You know what my go-to soda. Yeah, uh, you know, I'll make it even harder. You ready for this Root beer or cream soda You can only have one What are you trying to do to me?
Starting point is 00:19:07 I know my answer wait. I want you or something root beer cream soda, right Root beer cream soda now now that we're just on like fuck. We're other soda. I don't care about the other soda Uh Only one What temperature is it like what's the weather? 70 Overcast You're not helping me
Starting point is 00:19:33 Gotta gotta gotta keep it easy. Gotta. I mean I can't make it to where I where am I? You're home In my house in your house 70 and it's overcast. I'm not in my bedroom. No, of course not Overcast 75 no soda in the bedroom. No, no, no, it's a big rule What time of day I say like 315 dude, you're really not helping me here Um, you're like you're coming in from outside Oh, am I like tired? You just got home. It's 315. I was just like playing basketball. Yeah
Starting point is 00:20:10 In 315 you're coming in you go to the fridge. So it's clearly a we can open clearly a weekend Yeah, there's root beer and there's cream soda Keith or somebody's gonna have the other one you can only take choose now which one you taken I'll take cream gotta go cream soda. You scream it's cream, right? It's cream soda, but it's it's hard This is a hard conversation Root beer you ever have stewards root beer. I've had it. It's mad good. It is Another soda. That's mad good a and w a and w root beer is great But they also make great cream soda if you told me that root beer was like
Starting point is 00:20:50 Horse dick blend it up. I'd be like get me a horse. Yeah, I'll drink that. Yeah Flat cream soda though Is the grossest thing of all time I'd rather do flat root beer than flat fucking cream soda flat any soda Sucks sucks sucks. It's so disappointing too. Yeah, it's like this was something when you twist that bottle and it just makes no noise Oh, yeah, it's like It's like a like one of those weak ass farts sometimes
Starting point is 00:21:22 I'm like, I'm not drinking this fucking fuck that. What's the ass drink? You have like try so hard to fart and all that's all you get and you're like, oh fuck this I thought I was gonna get some funny stuff. Yeah. No, we can't do that Other thing too is it's weird. They call it a soft drink Dude, you know what's funny? I never understood like I know I understand what it means. All right, so before I know I don't I don't understand. Let me make that clear. Okay You want to know? Yeah, a soft drink is like something with alcohol in it
Starting point is 00:21:53 So every fucking drink in the world basically. Yeah, but it's like I guess like a soda or like something that isn't water Like oh, it's a soft drink like there's no there's no alcohol in it Hard that's why they call liquor like hard liquor. Oh, I see. Okay Stupid it's stupid. It's also like Not soft. It's wet. I would also I would also like argue that it's kind of rough like if you drink root beer pretty fast your your throat burns. Yeah Seltzer too. You know you hate seltzer though. Seltzer is disgusting. I love seltzer How do you hate seltzer because it's soda without the best part of soda?
Starting point is 00:22:29 No, because you can get like lemon like like flavor lemon lime. You can get good flavors pomegranate. You can also get fucking sprite Dude another thing that was weird too. It was like commercials would always show people playing basketball Or something and then like drinking sprite. Sprite's the last fucking thing. I want to drink if I'm playing basketball You ever played basketball? Be like, yo, I would die for a sprite right now Never you know something weird when I was younger like Wait, what the fuck is that noise? Oh, uh When I was younger I would uh
Starting point is 00:23:08 Head to I keep I'd said that like nine times. Just not out. Sorry Uh, I would go to the park at like 7 30 in the morning of my friend Dennis and play basketball Whatever and just like work up a sweat or some shit. Then we come back to his house and he would always pour me a glass of Pepsi And I would drink the shit out of it. Like you're not gonna turn down Pepsi down But I also was like it'd be sick if we had like some pole in spring right now Gatorade too Gatorade was clutch. Yeah, but Gatorade like I won't drink when I'm throwing up Yeah, but Gatorade like I won't drink when I'm thirsty either It's sugar and it makes me want to vomit. Yeah
Starting point is 00:23:43 You're not really into like sugary drinks. No Hot summer day though. I'll bust the Gatorade back I'll drink a Gatorade too, but like it's not like you're not eating the first thing you're going if I'm playing sports Like I need water like don't get me a Gatorade. You know what I mean? And don't get me especially in the summer super hot that bullshit Gatorade like Gatorade rain frost where it's like Oh, we we filled this up halfway with Gatorade and then just poured water in it. Yeah, it's also like medicine I don't want this. Yeah, God gross. Yeah, fuck out of here with this dime a tap shit. No, but they used to have like a mango one a mango fucking
Starting point is 00:24:20 Gatorade rain Gatorade. No, fuck Gatorade rain. That's it was trash. Yeah, what's the what's a Gatorade? Frost, I don't know. I don't know. They like glacier freeze was like glacier freeze. I remember one flavor Do you ever have like any friends like summer friends? The fuck's that mean like friends you only saw in the summer There was only one kid that I could remember like a summer friend. Yeah, it's weird I have summer friends. It was only because it's not weird though because I can't really go anywhere except the park right, so
Starting point is 00:24:51 If you don't go to my school, I'm only gonna see you if you go to this park. Yeah, and his name was leo Take a ball he was nice and then he ended up going to my school Oh, really? Yeah, cuz like what my parents let me go to the school go to the school Let me go to the park like by myself like early like I was like second grade and they're like all right Go ahead and let go so I'll be playing ball whatever and then I met this kid leo in the summer And we would just he'd be there all the time when I was there and he was playing ball. He was nice whatever Then in fifth grade he shows up
Starting point is 00:25:20 I'm like Leo What's good, dude? Yeah, we're friends for real. Yeah, I think I like Where's he at now? I don't know. I haven't I haven't seen him. Let's try and find him I know where he used to live But I like I'm pretty sure he moved Yeah, I mean if you haven't seen him since fifth grade, I'm thinking blue by now
Starting point is 00:25:42 He had a fucking dope ass bike Did he there's always a kid with a cool bike remember when stealing bikes was like the shit I'd never stole a bike I mean, I think everyone's everyone stole a bike. I haven't stolen a bike like what kind of bike did you have though? I had a gt dyno Those things were fired. That's the that's the one that he had. He had a gt dyno. Yeah, it was white. Yeah Mine wasn't white. Mine was black and green. I had some yellow shit. It was uh, it was a mongoose Mongooses were cool, but it was like uh, it was like we're good. Who's schwin. Oh schwin schwing
Starting point is 00:26:16 uh Yeah, no, but I remember when people I used to steal bikes all the time two of my friends My other two friends bikes would you do the deli and just like whatever would I keep what like would you keep it at your house? My bike like no, I feel like if you took someone's bike Well, I never like took someone's bike right. I would always like return it or like leave it What do you So so you would either you would either steal it or you would not steal it. No, I don't know
Starting point is 00:26:42 I wouldn't steal random people's bikes But if you found a bike you're like I'm this is I'm riding this bike. That's what I'm saying Yeah, I've done that I'm not like sneaking in dressed in all black and like stealing it from your Yeah, and like tipping over a garbage can and get out of the driveway But if it's like in a in an area where I'm like, um, that's my bike You guys aren't really you don't feel like you don't really care about this. I'll take it off. Yeah, don't leave your bike anywhere Yeah, no, I might my bike got stolen too to this day Watch your bike around me. Yeah, like don't leave a bike around me. Don't do it
Starting point is 00:27:14 I'm fucking I'm writing that shit up. I will ride that till the chain pops off Riding bikes in the summer as a kid is so awesome. It's the best. It was the best thing ever. Did you have pegs? Fuck yeah, I had pegs. Me and Keith almost died He was on the pegs and he was riding. I was pegging A little the definition of that Google it. We'll uh, we'll cut that in post. Yeah, we'll cut it in post. Um Um No, but I was on keith's pegs
Starting point is 00:27:45 And he was riding keith was a keith is incredible on a bike by the way. Is he I swear to god I'm not even kidding like people think I'm making this up. We live on a hill. Yeah, and keith used to take his bike And ride it down the hill no brakes mad fast and time it So that because there's a light at our corner that it would be a green light and he'd be safe to go forward Through the intersection and he would be on his pegs Standing not touching the the seat not the seat not touching the handlebars Just standing one of these superman types. No not touching the handlebars Just standing straight up on the pegs. No way. I promise that's true. Asked my brother thomas
Starting point is 00:28:27 In the fucking circus. That's what I said He would just be he would ride it It would have mad speed and then he'd just stand on the peg straight up And the handlebars would stay straight and he would go right through the intersection First of all, that's one of the coolest fucking things. I know in life Dude, you have no idea. How's there no footage of this? I don't who had a phone No, you think you could still do it. Are you fucking crazy? No way. No way But he was a superhero
Starting point is 00:28:53 There I went like could you do wheelies? not for like Blah like I'm not like meek mill. Yeah, I used to always I used to always hate kids that could wheelie better than me I can't like, you know, I couldn't do anything like super cool. There was the bunny hop Yeah, and then there was the Like powerslide break Keith slid the shit out of his bike too. Yeah, man I was big powers. I was a big powerslider Keith was nasty on a bike, dude. Like I'm dead serious Like he's the man he yeah when we were growing up. I'm not even lying
Starting point is 00:29:24 We would play football Keith was the number one overall pick and it wasn't even close He was a beast. He was the fastest one or one of the fastest ones and he would level anybody Dude, we used to play like because we were nice because we like we all played sports growing up That's all we did and we would play kids that were way older than us from other neighborhoods They would come yeah and play at our field. That was the best too. Yeah, and Keith would just level people Like we played on this field that had Big like big-ass trees aligned on the side. Yeah, so that was out of bounds
Starting point is 00:29:57 So if you were close to that and like you were like you would get hit you're getting lit the fuck up into the bushes Yeah, yo, I'm telling you this dude like you know when there's always one dude who was too old to be playing with you You're like, yeah, why there's always the older kid at the park like why are you here? Like yo, you're like 23 playing with 15 year olds like it's a little weird, right? There's this one kid who was like 23 25 He's not playing for some reason. Yeah, and he's running up the sidelines and Keith Fucking ran and buried this kid It just the kid disappeared into the bushes dude disappeared didn't see him
Starting point is 00:30:30 And he came out covered in like dirt and fucking branches and he's like He was he wanted like a flag or some shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's 15. He's like you can't do that And keep you know Keith not in confrontation. He just walks away. He's like, well, he's like, yeah, I don't know next play Like he's ready for the next play like yo, he was a beast Do you remember at UFC 203 when Keith spilled his beer on that dude? Yeah, the guy turns around and he goes they were they were uh foreign guys They were like, oh, did you spill something on and Keith was like What? No, man. I don't know. I don't know man. I'm I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:31:06 He spilled like a quarter of his beer like down his entire chair I feel like you didn't know who's him. Keith is a superhero, man. Keith is a superhero. Super Keith Super Keith The other thing too is like a big old dick big old big old floppy mess down there too. It's fire though It's 100 fire Before we move on let's get to the sponsors here real quick The first one we have is blue apron, which is the leading meal kit delivery service in the u.s Uh, I use it. It's amazing every time you get food to your doorstep
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Starting point is 00:34:07 With a quip electric toothbrush. Okay, that's your first ref refill pack free at get quip dot com slash basement g e t q u i p dot com slash basement guys Brush the fuck up with quip. Okay. That's a new slogan brush the fuck up anyway um Other thing too like summer shit. Obviously the summer is just the shit
Starting point is 00:34:35 barbecue season hype Yo ice pops. We have to get those. Yeah, we gotta get the ice pops. We do ice pops are serious Excuse me, which I which ice pops did you always get from like mr. Softy? Oh, um Depends on how much money I had Like if I was broke, I would get like the uh the captain america fucking firecracker one Oh, that's garbage red white and blue. That'd be like it's the cheapest fucking one
Starting point is 00:35:02 Yeah, uh super mario pop, but if I was balling I would get like choco tacos and shit Those are like two bucks. Yeah, that's like. Yeah, that was currency That's big time dollar dude to this day. I owe this girl. Chelsea that I grew up with like mad money for slurpees Slushies slushies slurpee same thing. Yeah, no, but they were slushies vita pot. Slush. Do you remember those slush puppies slush puppies? Yeah Those are great. Those are literally ice and just syrup and just cancer just yeah Just like every sip was hours off your life. Did you uh, I think if I like
Starting point is 00:35:41 If I had to pick one of them though blue Yes Blue no doubt about it. Yeah the purple and always hung around orange wasn't bad. No Or you know what I did mix mix it all Give me all Because it's just it's just literally like like you know, I'm talking about like the uh, the actual frozen water like the frozen juice pops Oh, oh flavor ice things flavor ice. Yeah. Yeah the ice pops. Yeah. Oh, which ones are those?
Starting point is 00:36:13 The best one was uh blue is the best one Pink was good too I never had they're all good. They're all good. Like I don't know. I don't know. I still I fuck with purple It's a purple and orange are like the last ones I'll eat Like I'll have red. I'll have pink. I'll have oh green is my favorite. Yeah, green's a good one Green's fire. Yeah, green's a good one turns your tongue a different color. Hell. Yeah. Are you a lizard? Fuck. Yeah, bitch What's up? All right me say something for sure for sure. I need I need you to say something baby. Yeah Yeah, uh
Starting point is 00:36:42 No, but slushies. Yeah mixing them You can get a little crazy with that. No red and blue Dude, and I was such a scumbag when I was younger because it's slushy slushy missing What's going on slushy machine the slushy miss you. Oh my god. You did it again Slushy miss Yo, I'm not even kidding. I'm not doing this on purpose Slushy slushy machine Yo one more time. Okay
Starting point is 00:37:07 Slushy machine It's a it's hard. All right. You got it though I'm here. I'm here. I'm here with you. I'm justifying. It's it's hard Danny. I'm right here. I'm right here slushy machine Yes, the slushy machine Was right behind the register. Okay So I'd be like, yo, let me get The blue slushy. Yeah, and they would turn around. I'll just shove like a Pack of starbursts in my pocket. Damn. You were a klepto stealer. I was a scumbag
Starting point is 00:37:35 Because I knew how Mike. Yo, this place has half cameras. I know it doesn't Or I was stealing like baby bottom pops or whatever the fuck that was baby bottle pops Baby bottle pops. You just suck in and suck and shake it Maybe it again. It's baby bottle pop. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, those are great. I mean, no like fun dip Not for me not in me there. That's like that's that's like A gateway drug to like actual drugs. Yeah, it looks like a big ass Xanax Yeah, I felt like a crackhead every time I would dip that thing in there and just suck that flavorless stick
Starting point is 00:38:10 Suck that flavorless stick. That thing sucked The barbecues though Back to barbecues. Yeah. Yeah. Quick question. Yes hot dogs. Yeah catch up for monsters Catch up catch up. Yeah, I do both At the same time you put mustard on things catch up and mustard. Yeah spicy brown I wouldn't put mustard on my
Starting point is 00:38:34 My mother's burning body to put her out You hate mustard. I hate mustard I hate it I hate mustard No, it's trash. I hate that shit. It's disgusting. If it gets in my hand, my day's ruined Yeah, you go through more catch up than anyone I've ever seen in my life. I crush catch you Crush it. I couldn't live without condiments No, I couldn't I have to dip everything. You don't like mayonnaise though, right? I like mayonnaise like on what though?
Starting point is 00:39:03 Like sandwiches like if you get a ham and cheese sandwich I'll put mayonnaise on it. You'll get mayonnaise on it probably more than the average person too You know when you go to like mcdonald's and fucking like new jersey They put mustard on your cheeseburgers. I will literally I will fucking kill someone gross. I will kill a person. It's disgusting I hated it. I'll go behind the register And start fucking shit up. You put mustard on my fucking cheese. Not cheeseburger. First of all, first of all Hot dog I get cheeseburger now. First of all
Starting point is 00:39:36 Big move mcdonald's I mustard is like You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's not ketchup. No ketchup's like ketchup. Oh, yeah, it's an american dream ketchup Mustard's like this weird thing that only a certain kind of person fucks with I could see what you can't just be standard throwing that around It's disgusting And it's irresponsible and we need to do something about it Spicy brown. Just try it once
Starting point is 00:40:04 You may like it If mustard is mixed into like because mustard Like what about like baked beans? My mom puts mustard on like the ham. Yeah You know what I'm saying? Like I don't mind it then because it's it's like a very small it adds some sort of flavor Right, you're not just going hard. Just a All over your hot dog Like it both together. No, it's disgusting Which condiments could you just stick two fingers in and just eat mayonnaise?
Starting point is 00:40:32 No, you couldn't. Yeah, I could do it Hold on. I could I could do it You could stick two fingers into a jar mayonnaise. Yeah and eat it. Yes. Yeah, you're literally the most disgusting person I know. Yeah, it's pretty hot though. Yo, that's disgusting. I'm just you asked me I answered the question I'm not gonna just gonna go around just being like, oh, what do you got there? You got some mayo over there and just fucking dip my two fingers in and eat it like over ketchup Over barbecue sauce. Oh, yeah, I forgot about barbecue sauce over like sweet baby rays. Sweet baby rays is fucking yeah I have to change it. Holy shit that stuff
Starting point is 00:41:08 I don't consider barbecue sauce like as a condiment for some reason it is but I don't consider it You want to know why because it's like the least used I mean, I've been I've been honestly using it a lot lately On what like anything with chicken Yeah, but like when you cook chicken, I feel like you like you like use it to marinate stuff I don't know. Fuck with that Barbecue sauce on a burger is fire Yeah
Starting point is 00:41:36 You ever get one of those gross burgers with like onion rings on it and first of all onion rings really need to take a hike Fuck onion rings. It depends on the size I don't like those huge ones like I don't want a big old onion ring get that out of here I don't like it. You ever had an awesome blossom from tji fridays. No. Oh my gosh. Isn't that onion rings? Yeah, no, it's like a it's like an onion blooms. Oh blooming onion. Yeah, it's so good, dude. It's disgusting Yeah, it's amazing. How do you just eat a fucking onion? You don't get you but you don't even get onions or tomatoes on sandwiches either. I get tomatoes. I don't get onions I don't I hate why did we make the onion?
Starting point is 00:42:15 Not that we did but who but someone's responsible for this horrific thing. What's going on your build a burger for me right now It depends. Again, we'll go back to what day is it build it build it where what's all out. You're going all out. It's hot It's going whatever you yeah, whatever is ideal for you Okay, you're going all out. You're eating this by yourself. No one's even around to see you eat this thing I don't know How many patties? How many patties? Yeah, who the fuck gets patties? It was as fast food. I'm getting a big ass Well, I'm saying like what are you making you want to eat? All right. So you want a big fat?
Starting point is 00:42:51 Yeah, big thick fucking bison burger. Oh I had that for the first time at a nick game. Yeah, bison's mad. Good. It's very good. Fantastic lamb is also good I don't know why I said that. Where are we going? It was really good. No, we're just hungry. I'm starving My favorite burger though. I don't know like because sometimes I like barbecue bacon burgers Right. Yeah, the best like those are fire, but like classic burgers are good, too McDonald's or burger king Whopper or big mac I mean, I don't fuck with either. Damn, dude. Really?
Starting point is 00:43:24 So I so but I use I've eaten I've definitely eaten McDonald's more in my life I fuck with McChickens because they're very cheap and very good chickens dollar menu. You ever get a spicy McChicken? Yeah, mad. Good. You get one of each What was that? That's just me dreaming. I had one right off I used to go with my friend Josh and I actually I used to vlog this this was back in like 2011 And we went to McDonald's and I also I would order the same thing. We'll get two McChickens Uh a snack wrap. Mm-hmm grilled chicken. Oh, no crispy chicken with barbecue sauce for mad good, too And get a shake and a medium fry and dip the fries in the vanilla shake a McFlurry or shake a shake
Starting point is 00:44:04 McFlurry's our pretender. Yeah, sure McFlurry's Got whole m&m's in here. I'm trying not to choke And this thing isn't even a straw. What is this thing that you're giving me divin team frosty though Frosties are good. Do you dip your fries in your frosty? I dip fries into any sort of liquid that's around me If I have no condiments, but I'm near a lake. Yeah, I'm dipping it in the lake. Oh, yeah I can't not dip food. I don't eat anything dry Boss sits here and he fucking eats fries dry
Starting point is 00:44:36 Disney also eats like Spaghetti with no tomato sauce. It's just like. Oh, yeah, it's just like he just raw dogs pasta. That's disgusting. That is like I can't get behind that. That's disgusting. I'm not supporting that. No, I'm not into that at all Not into that at all. No I hate it. Are you gonna hit the beach this summer? I hate that too. I hate the beach. Fuck the beach Especially jones beach out here. Jones beach is gross. The fuck is this? Do you know what's bad? Coney Island? It's bad
Starting point is 00:45:10 It's disgusting. Yeah, so anyone who's watching this who hears like new york coney island. Oh my god, the beach never go It's terrible. I've never yeah. I think I've only been to coney island like twice. They got good food there Oh, they have great the boardwalk is great the second The boardwalk is amazing as soon as you step onto the sand You were having a bad day. Yeah, and you have made a mistake and now you know you've made a mistake Coney island is a shithole That's a track too. That's a race. There's tons of people Yeah, and like just random garbage syringes. There's a diaper in the water and shit
Starting point is 00:45:44 That's too much. I don't know if any of like, I don't know the diaper part's true But I definitely you know, I would say there's a greater chance there's a diaper in there than one not being in there I'll agree to that and the water is also always freezing. I don't know I feel like they're dumping ice into the ocean for some reason. That's a road trip That's a long coney island far, but it's only like where we grew up. It was one train. Oh, that's not bad the train that's closest to our Neighborhood you get on that and you sit on it to the last stop. It was an hour. Yeah, it's like an hour That's not too bad of a trip. I guess. What's the longest road trip you ever been on? Ohio? Damn, you drove to Ohio nine hours. Fuck that. It's trash
Starting point is 00:46:23 Fuck We drove to Ohio like overnight and Honestly, I hated like Ohio Like not anything because I didn't go to all of Ohio. Where'd you go? Uh, Ohio State University see with the Columbus Yeah, so like but the surrounding area was just like really shitty and we stayed at like the worst hotel ever just a bad trip It was just a bad trip and I'm not saying like Ohio
Starting point is 00:46:51 As a whole sucks But I was just like, yo, this is terrible Oh, yeah, I and it also might have been because I drove nine hours. Yo on the way there We stopped at a gas station that was like super high-tech and like weird looking I don't know the name of it. It was just like It was like a sound like it was like thing or some shit like it was like a weird name like I don't know I don't know what it was. But we went in there. It's like 4 a.m And they didn't and we were starving. Okay, and we're like, yo, there's no like food or whatever all they had was this like
Starting point is 00:47:23 computer That you put your order into And then it the something makes it for you. That's weird. And what did I get? a hot dog So I got this hot dog Dude, this hot dog was so bad. It's gross. It first of all, I it was I thought it was fake Because I'm eating it. I'm like, yo, first of all, it's things mad shiny
Starting point is 00:47:49 Just been cooking for a long time probably or just like I don't know. It looked plastic. You ever just see like one of those roasted disgusting That's probably what you had like an over roasted disgusting Plastic looking fucking hot dog. Dude. I just they just slipped out of some fucking piece of plastic Can you imagine eating a hot dog? at 4 a.m And then getting in the car and driving another I would say that's gross, but yes, I could imagine eating that It's literally the most disgusting thing in the world
Starting point is 00:48:17 Road, here's a single reason why I hate road trips. I'm like, I know you the show always always comes back to poop Rest stops are some of the grossest areas I've ever seen in my life I will shit my pants before I shit in a rest stop. It's gross You ever have to like Like I'd rather shit in the woods Yeah, like just private more private too. Just wall sit against the tree and just let it fly. Yeah Like a shaman bear. Oh, yeah Nine hours like I couldn't even like if someone said that to me. I'd be like fuck no
Starting point is 00:48:48 Yeah, I just did six hours to Pittsburgh for the playoff game. Oh like this past winter We did you sleep there? Yes, that's good. No, but it also wasn't good because We that was the game where it was like three degrees too, right? Dude, it was bad. I had a beer in my hand and then I'm getting distracted for like 20 minutes And then look back my beer is like frozen. Jesus. It was fucking crazy. We sat first row though. That was fire Yeah, that's pretty cool. So I was like, yeah, if we're gonna drive six hours, we're sitting first fucking row on the 50 yard line Yeah, it was fire. Um, but
Starting point is 00:49:19 Pittsburgh is awesome by the way It's all surrounded by like bridges and lakes. It's so it was fucking sick like Pittsburgh was sick. I've never been there It's really cool. Um, but anyway We got there the day before Stayed at a hotel and smart and then but then we went to the game and as soon as the game was over we drove back like immediately How's that stadium? It's dope. It's dope. Yeah, it was all all around like pittsburgh was cool
Starting point is 00:49:45 Like the city that they have they have like they made like a it looks like a college town like around the city Like I'm sure I didn't see of all of pittsburgh obviously But around the stadium, which is kind of like where we stayed because we walked from our hotel to the stadium There's just like this little ass town with like a bunch of restaurants and bars and stuff. It was dope. I'm sorry. Yeah like uh, I always think about like uh Like driving across like cross country like we talked about it. Yeah I think like in the first two hours. I feel like yo, we might have to pull this thing around I'm good. Why?
Starting point is 00:50:18 Like I you know driving cross country That's gotta be hard as fuck. Hell. Yeah If you have an itinerary though, and you're like, yo, we're gonna stop in Nashville We're gonna stop in fucking austin. Yeah, and we're gonna stop in like why only if you run like an rv though Yeah, but like so like here's the thing right? So I have this talk with people all the time because RVs are dope like a tour bus. Hell. Yeah. Yeah. I mean no, I think that like they're cool Until you're like RV like family vacation like across confine. What like so it's basically a tour bus though Not that big
Starting point is 00:50:54 like you ever see like uh Meet the parents He's got a big ass fucking family. Yeah, not that not yeah, but not that big a little smaller But like fits like four four people whatever, but I'm saying like to me that sounds cool Until you're 350 miles in you go Fuck this. Yeah, like none of it's fun Unless you get to stop and stay all the time. Yeah, but even then like I don't really like it that I wouldn't really like the idea of that. I like being home. Yeah
Starting point is 00:51:25 I don't like you know doing all this and I'm like, I just want to fly back. You know what I mean? You ever been in the midwest? Uh, I've never been there. I heard it's fucking gorgeous out there. No, I want to go to texas. So texas I was in texas like on a layover though for like three hours. So I've never like I don't I know I've never been to the midwest in houston. I was in houston for like three hours I would love to go to houston. I heard it's a really nice city. I want to go to nashville. Yeah, nashville is doable though Nashville's close. I mean that's kind of like ohio. Yeah It's not that bad I mean, I still wouldn't drive. No, you would definitely fly. Yeah
Starting point is 00:52:03 Yeah, probably be cheaper to To fly. Yeah. Yeah Gas wise you're gonna get merked crazy and then you gotta get like groceries for the fucking chill Can you fuck on rvs? On rvs or in them? Well, you could you could definitely fuck on top of an rv. It'd be pretty dope. You need a ladder Yeah, they have ladders on the back of them. Do they? Yes. Why for that reason to fuck on them. No I didn't know I didn't know I'd never had an rv before we should look up a cup rvs
Starting point is 00:52:36 Just we're not gonna get I know we're not gonna get one just to like Settle this debate of what they should look like. You know what I saw the other day. It's because I Macklemore has this song with kesha called Um good old days. I've never heard it. It's a good song. I loved it and the video is even better Yo, Macklemore has fire videos Yeah, he's kind of he's kind of sure. I like Macklemore for where he is. But anyway, so uh, the video was dope because it's like You remember those old school like volks wagon Bugs. Yeah, the bug buses the like the white on top and then the color underneath
Starting point is 00:53:15 It's like what you drove to uh, what I was gonna say livestock to wood stock and like whatever the hippie vans He did acid out of it. Yeah, people were getting fucked and it was fine. I like this Like uh, the little misshunt sunshine van exactly, right? So it was like that and they drove to this place in the woods and then like there was like Tents set up and like all their friends were there and it was really fucking awesome So then I got inspired. I was like, yo, you know, I'm gonna do my mind you. It's like 2 a.m It's like I'm gonna buy a school bus And then I'm gonna turn it into like an rv
Starting point is 00:53:45 Kind of a cool idea though. Yeah, but like it's a little ridiculous. But but no, yeah, right? Probably not probably not. Yeah, is what I'm trying to say But I looked I stumbled upon this site That sells these school buses that people renovated gutted and then renovated to make it sort of like an rv And but it's way more open. There's no rooms or anything and like I don't know if there's like a bathroom either It's just like a living space Which is sick. Yeah, it's dope
Starting point is 00:54:14 And I was like, yo god, I want to go and like I saw one and I was like, yo, this looks fire Guess how much it costs? How new is the bus dude, I have no info $12,000 10. Oh, yeah, see it was around there. I was I was like, yo, it's a domicile. That's why you can probably live in it Yeah, yeah, I was I was like, yes, I would I would bought it 10 g's for like a moving house Gun your head. How long could you live in a car for? Like my current car your car. Yeah, do it. Yeah, how long could you live out of your car? You think
Starting point is 00:54:53 Not long Could you make it a week? If I absolutely had to obviously Right, but like I would I would hate for support. Like could you just do it? It's like a bet-wise. Could you settle a bet? How how much am I getting paid? Someone comes to be like, yo, I'll give you a thousand bucks to stay in your car for every night for a week Can I like uh You could go outside and enjoy your day. Well, can I go can I go back into my apartment and hang it for a little bit?
Starting point is 00:55:23 And then because I could do that like no problem. Yeah, all right. Yeah, I'll let you do that. Oh, I could yeah You but you have to go sleep every day in the car. Whatever. I've slept in a car before I've slept in a car mad times actually I'm serious elaborate There was a time where I was in Connecticut at my friend's summer house I fell asleep in some girl's car I was drunk as fuck
Starting point is 00:55:52 She wasn't driving. You know, it's impossible to get comfortable in cars though. Yeah, I also slept in a car with nick once Because there was no room and like we went to my friend's uh like House on like in jersey And there was like mad space that was like whatever and we were drunk as hell We didn't want to stay in the house that his parents were in. So we're like, oh fuck. Let's just stay in your car Yeah, and like it's garbage. Yeah, it sucks. That's awful. That's a funny story. So, uh Couple buddies of mine were hanging out one time
Starting point is 00:56:21 Getting like stupid drunk like hanging out. Oh, yeah, just a couple of boys. Just throw them back Getting twisted and a couple new skis banging hammers. Yeah, so they're drinking. Yep and um Also, don't drink and drive is the moral of this story But um, so they were drinking or whatever one of my buddy goes into the bathroom Uh to watch hands or whatever to get ready to come out. He comes out. My other buddy's missing So he waits for him. He's calling him. He was like, yo, uh, I can't get in touch with him
Starting point is 00:56:55 I'm just gonna bounce like he was supposed to sleep at his house so the next morning That friend who couldn't find my other friend goes out to his car. He's sleeping in the back seat He was in the back seat the entire time So when he was waiting for him outside of the bar, he was already in the back seat sleeping They didn't find him. He slept in the car in like 13 degree weather overnight That's great. It's a great story
Starting point is 00:57:24 It's hysterical. They found that he found the next day going in there. He's terrified. He passed out back there I got a couple like weird friend stories. I never tell you a story about my friend's mom sleepwalking No, so This is fucking scary. First of all, let me just come out and say that sleepwalking is one of the most terrifying things in the whole world And I've never as fuck. I've never experienced anyone around me or myself sleepwalking and if I did I would not handle it well. No, I it's terrifying. Someone's getting punched. Yeah, so yeah, so here we go. So my i'm I'm basically living with my friend at this point. This is like a part uh part I was living with him for like almost a year and his family
Starting point is 00:58:09 um One day I'm downstairs watching tv And I hear like this commotion upstairs. Like I just hear like stuff going on, you know, I'm like anxious, right? So like I just hear like stuff moving around like like no not normal sounds, but like What's going on? Yeah, like what's what's going on and it's like around like 10 or 11 at night Uh-huh So I'm starting to like be like what's going on? What's going on? So now I walk I get up off the couch
Starting point is 00:58:38 I walk towards the stairs and I just look up the stairs and it's my friend's mom Just standing there And then she puts her hands up like this and goes my hands My hands I can't feel my hands somebody took my hands Now i'm terrified Now i'm terrified. I didn't like that But now in my head I go she's having a stroke You know, she's like, oh, I can't feel my hands. I was like, I cannot believe you thought of that
Starting point is 00:59:07 That would have been like it's a demon and Raised up the stairs and fucked her up. I swear to god. So now i'm like Now I just started screaming for my friend. I'm like, yo, yo, yo, yo your mom is like, yo She's having a stroke or something. Yo, I don't know what's going on And my friend is just like, yo Just started like laughing I was like, yo, why what's going on? Why are you laughing? So, yo, my mom's sleepwalks, bro And she does shit like this
Starting point is 00:59:37 I was like wait She does this shit like more than once she was like, yeah, she's done it like a bunch of times They find her like walking around The crazy thing is is that you could be sleepwalking and and do shit like that My hands yo, I would have hit her so hard. First of all, it also just made it scarier because I was looking up the stairs at it Fuck that. I know Yo, if she took a step towards you. Oh, I don't know what I've done. I don't know what I've done. It's me or her literally It's me or her at that point. It's me or her. I would have beat the shit out of her. You don't have hands now
Starting point is 01:00:15 You're not gonna have a head in a second. I'll tell you that you come down. First of all, have you ever seen the movie the visit? No It's scary because it reminds me of this story. Oh But except it, you know, I have chills right now thinking about it. Yeah, yeah in that fucking movie The old woman In the middle of the night Is running around. Oh, it's terrifying Dude old woman runs near me
Starting point is 01:00:43 Why are you all fucking hitting you? Oh, yeah, why are old women so scary at night? Fuck that. Yeah, fuck that So scary, but yeah, I'm divorcing my wife before she's old enough to be scary at night Because I'm not dealing with that. You've never slept walks like no, like you don't have like a sleepwalking store No, I only have one and I slept walked and like I I pissed What I was asleep. What'd you what'd you pee? I was like you just took a pee. I was uh sleeping over at a friend's house I was like 15 or 16 I had a couple drinks Like this but like this is like we're just starting the drink, right? So you had four beers. Yes. I had like four beers
Starting point is 01:01:18 I'm fucking wasted. Yeah. Yeah, we get snuck back into the house Getting bed. We think everything's all right I go to sleep I wake up the next day and my friend's facing me literally his back to me while he's on the computer Like I'm about to like scold me. It feels like I was like, yo, what's up, man? He's like, hey, man You know you did last night And he's like playing a computer game literally I'm talking to the back of his head at this point It's like, you know, you did last night. I was like, no
Starting point is 01:01:45 It's like you pissed all over my fucking floor, man So He goes to me. I go, I go, you know, there's no way he goes. Yeah, man I woke up in the middle of the night and you were just pissing on my floor And then I go I go to tell you I'm saying he said I uh, I'm telling you to stop I'm telling you to stop. I'm telling you to stop my response goes. It goes, uh, I go apparent I don't remember it. I go, you know, don't worry about it. There's a cup down there So me I'm in a world where I think I'm pissing into a cup
Starting point is 01:02:17 On your boy's floor on my boy's floor and thinking this is okay Yeah Sleep pissing is terrifying I have almost slept pissed. I pissed dribbled. I definitely dribbled. Yeah, but did you like have a dream like that you were peeing? That's different. Yeah, I'm talking about walking around my body literally rose From where I was sleeping walk to a comfortable place and pissed on it. Yeah. No, that's that's that's stupid I've never done that. That's scary. You get fucking hurt like that. Yeah, that's weird A buddy a buddy of mine too told me a story once like he just woke up in his bathroom once with like water running
Starting point is 01:02:57 Terrifying dude, that's so weird. Yeah, I don't like that. Yo sleepwalking is mad scary I don't yeah, I've never done that like I people talking in their sleep too. Scary as fuck I've done that. I'm gonna be like I'm like, yo, what is going on, dude? Yeah, or you've had people laugh That's the most terrifying my mom my mom laughed like is when I sleep at my mom's house like now Yeah, I'll sleep in her bed because there's no my I have no bed there. How's that cute? Yeah, and uh This one morning I just hear her go And I was like the fuck
Starting point is 01:03:32 Yo, that's too scary. I just felt my hand turning into a fist. I was like, yo, if I got to I will Can't handle that though, but it's mad creepy. That's mad creepy, but I remember when I was super young my brother Thomas said that uh He walked into my room once and I sat up and went I already recorded that And then just laid down. He's like, all right. Oh, that's off. Shut the fucking door. You have no recollection of it I have no idea, but it's like a it's like a running joke in our family This is uh, charlie over like Yeah, dogs dogs is cute when they're dreaming my my dog like
Starting point is 01:04:11 He like is loud as fuck though with it I'm like charlie I always wonder what the fuck are they dreaming? Yeah, I don't know like are they running in their dream? Are they like fighting something? Yeah, like yeah You always see his cheeks just go like Yeah They do the puppy Yeah, I know
Starting point is 01:04:37 Dogs dreaming is kind of cute though. I don't really have any like crazy Like when I sleep I just like sleep for the normal person. Yeah, except for that like I already recorded that recorded that thing That's another thing I can really think of you ever just like woken up like naked. Yeah I've never done that either mad times It's just throughout the night You know like even like my girl will like wake up and like uh Like drink water Like she'll reach over drink water and go right back to sleep. She won't remember doing it
Starting point is 01:05:10 That that will happen too sometimes. That's crazy Well, like if something happens in the middle of the night, I'm not gonna I'm delirious I know but like your mind has like the actual drink was a little insane Take it drink it put it back in the thing and go back to sleep. That's not weird. Yeah, that's that's strange You know that is a little weird That shit bugs me out. I don't like sleeping But like sleeping is all right, but like I love sleeping when I am sleeping. I hate the process of going to sleep Well, that's impossible
Starting point is 01:05:42 What do you mean? Like going to sleep is like near impossible now. Yeah, that that's why I just like hop on twitch and I'm watching random And I just hope I fall asleep at some point. Yeah, I just hope I'm tired, but like that's the thing too like I When I when I'm tired. Yeah, I fall asleep so hard. Yeah, I like I'm rarely like that tired Do you sleep through the night like yeah, so you're a good sleeper then? Yeah, yeah, especially like But I'm and like I wake up the same time Every day. Yeah, so you have like I'm up early
Starting point is 01:06:17 You're like so even if I'm hammer drunk and I go to sleep at 3 a.m I'm gonna be up and at I'm like wired at 8 and I don't really get hangovers If I drink I'm not gonna sleep well Like I'll be up every three hours like I haven't drank water in eight years That doesn't happen to me. I sleep through you drink water though probably before you go to sleep Not really like now I'm I'm more conscious of like you got to do it I'm at the bar and I'm like, all right. I'm pretty banged up or something like I'll just start jogging waters Yeah
Starting point is 01:06:47 Like not not like an insane amount, but like, you know, keep it clean keep it clean I don't even know if that applies to I have no idea why I said that me either. It's fire though. Yeah, keep it clean I think we can wrap this up. Um, yeah The fuck was that noise? I thought someone's phone was ringing. Anyway, uh, dany, where can they find you at dany lupriori on twitter in instagram guys, uh I just started doing twitch So if you have a twitch account, definitely go check that out twitch.tv slash joe sanagato go follow or whatever the fuck Um, do you have an idea? Maybe when you might be twitching again, uh, like monday. Oh monday and wednesday
Starting point is 01:07:28 I'm gonna try and do those days right now fortnight Well, yeah fortnight call duty. She liked that. Um, I don't just hang out just like talk. There's a live chat come through follow I'm always in the chat room too. So come hang out with me too. Um, fucking What was I gonna say also the merch store? Uh, there's baseman yard merch. There's other merch that I've made Uh, the sanagatos store.com Uh, check that out. But yeah, that is all. Thanks for listening. See you later. Yeah, motherfuckers

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