The Basement Yard - It's Hard Being A Kid
Episode Date: May 7, 2018On this episode, @DannyLopriore & I are talking about church, soda, & superhero Keith. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome back to the basement yard today. It's just me and Danny. You know I'm saying just a just a little bit of Joe and Dan
JD go
What JD JD JC
Jesus Christ
Take him to church take him to church. What was the last time you went to church?
The last wow. I don't think that is a great question like years years
Not counting like a holiday like literally just like went to church. I'll count holidays since we're both like kind of fake religious
I
went like four years ago like on unlike
New Year's Eve or something New Year's is wait New Year's Eve Christmas Eve Christmas Eve
It's cuz count that ten nine with the fucking with father O'Brien or whatever the fuck. That's a good guess
Yeah, that's a good
What was that? I don't know. It's like what they always say when like they bless you. I feel like I mean I went to English
Churches, I don't know what you said. I had like also
Think about church, too. I never could see where the music was coming from dude
I used to think it was just on like I know someone was pressing a button
There's somebody hidden in there fucking just playing an organ. Yeah, because they hide the choir
They don't want anyone to see it
Every time I would just be like they don't always be yet. Look where the fuck is this coming from?
Beautiful music. Where are these these 30 people singing from right now? Yeah, dude
Go, but honestly going to church as a kid though. Oh
Dude, first of all for the when I was growing up
My parents made us go to church every Sunday until we made our confirmation
Which is eighth grade right and then you can do whatever you want and then none of us went back
But like we've gone Sunday every Sunday. Yeah
Wow, you did a lot of church. I did a ton of church
And you know, it's funny because I stopped going for a long time
I didn't go and like I mean I would go to like holidays like you know
Like fucking Christmas and Easter Palm Sunday like shit like that. You know the easy ones. Yeah
But I remember like not going for like two years and then showing up and they like changed some of the prayers
And I'm like hold on. Yeah
Like the temple of this our father is off. I know like why are we switching it up?
The other things too is like Catholic Church. They always have like like
The word of the Lord, you know, I mean, and then like if you don't know it, you're like, holy shit
You know the one that I don't know the one that's like
People just like raise their thumb and they do like a bunch of stuff
They like rub it like they do like this they do stuff
Yeah, and they just like and then their arm moves slowly down like I don't know what's going on
I've never known. Yeah, I was just like I know this is a cross
I know then there's one on like the nose or mouth that I don't know
There's one and then there's one like near the heart that I don't know. No, I'm like, yeah, I don't know these moves
I was some people fake it. Some people. Yeah, I'm like that dude. That's like. Yeah, it's like just Macarena. Yeah
What am I doing here?
Steven Macarena shirt. The worst is when they would send you away from your parents. Oh
Yeah, all the kids get into the basement. I'm like, yeah, first of all
Mmm, you know get a little crazy with the reps that they have. I know not good
That shit felt like you were being torn away from your family forever
I was actually hyped because I was like, oh fuck think I don't have to sit here and listen to this guy
Church usually is like what like an hour?
Yeah, I don't know. There's like that half hour where he just kind of freestyles. Whatever he's saying. Yeah, I feel like that
I try to make it relatable
It's like the longest hour of your life as a kid though
Yeah, I know I hated waking up you know, you have to go to fucking church tomorrow. It's terrible
I used to faint in church all the time too. What? Yeah, I don't know if that means like something better
But I used to faint like constantly. It was hot as fucking there, dude
They had no AC you'd faint like legit faint like faint pass out
I wouldn't like drop to the floor, but I'd have to leave so I could like get fresh air, right
It's a little weird. God was telling me something. I think the fuck out of here
The fuck out of here nerd smell your fucking demon demonery and heathenery from outside, dude, Keith. Did you just fart? No
That's where if I farted I'd own that
I'm literally trying to fart right now. I can't I
Thought you farted no no no no fart
Keith and church that's not like a fart
everyone
it like Keith's whole thing because
The priest was was this dude from like Africa sometimes when you're a kid and someone has an accent that doesn't sound like you
You think it's the funniest thing in the world
So when he would say like brothers and sisters like Keith would just immediately look at me
With a face and I try to make me laugh
And I'm like yo, I don't and my mom would be like hitting us in the pew
Like she'd be fucking thrown elbows and shit. There was you the pew. Yes pepula pew
They'd always be like
The half the half talk half sing yeah
And on the third day heroes again, it's like dude either sing or talk, right?
Don't don't do this half and a half. Yeah, come on. Don't fucking on it one way. This is my goddamn Sunday
Yeah, come on if you're gonna sing belt it out. Yeah, you're gonna talk talk to me, man
I don't fucking half-ass it. Don't confuse me. It's too early to be confused
On a Sunday, you're either gonna let it go or fucking talk to me. That's what I'm saying belt it out or fucking buckle it down
Yeah, that's I yeah 100% I agree. I didn't like that at all. Oh, you know what else used to freak me out
The fucking you know when he would hold up the host. Yes, like in Catholic Church
They would get like first the host was what the fuck are you doing? Oh, I thought you were talking like when like the altar boy
We like raised the cross like this. No, no
Remember you know the host the host is a thing. Yeah, I know the host is the thing you eat
Yeah, yeah, so he would hold it up and then a bell would ring and that would be like yeah
We bless this shit, you know what I mean, but you didn't know where the bell was coming from when you were younger
It was like it was like yeah
It was like an altar boy like on his knees like next to the altar like
Discreetly just like ringing a bell and I never knew until I got older and I was like look at that fuck
I see him now. That's also wack though. Like we're talking about just going being altar boys probably wack as fuck
It's trash trash imagine having like
Responsibilities in this I know show
It's tough. Also. The thing is to hold that big-ass book. It's got like 9,000 pages. It's like every Harry Potter book
Into one huge like little ass seven-year-old kids like holding it up like father, please hurry every time I see that too
I was like, yeah, the Bible at home is not that big. Yeah, what's in that book? They have like the unabridged version
Yeah, they have like extra they got extra pages. Yeah, they're not telling anybody director's cut. Yeah
Man, I should suck this kid be the kid stuff
Yo, Juan
There was one time
Like I said Keith was just like a bad kid
Especially in church. Yeah, and there was this one time where someone farted
And my mom like everyone heard it my mom looks at Keith and Keith just goes
And points to the woman who is sitting in front
And he's like, yo, she farted. Yo, he left like you would not believe farts will never not be funny farts are hysterical
Dude, if you can't laugh at a fart, I don't want to I don't want to talk. I don't want to know you
I don't want to know you. I don't want to be a fart in church
Foreign church is amazing. That's like that raises the level of the fart by like a thousand dude two stories
Right, you're not gonna believe that happened in church. Did you had an eventful church? I'm telling you I did
There was one time we go into church as a family
It was nighttime for some I don't know what it might have been Christmas
Did you get dressed up for church? Remember that was suck
I didn't know because like on Christmas Eve you're like dressed up like to go to a restaurant and like that's kind of
But I wasn't like wearing a tux or like some crazy Italian shit like I'm not that Italian, you know what I mean, yeah
But I walked into church and
In like right when you walk in at the top of the aisle
They have the holy water
No, well, yeah, but they have like the wine and the host or whatever just sitting there
And we walked past it to go to our seats and I see a big-ass fly is in it
So I was like, yeah, there's a fly in there
All right, so then we get to our seats and I tell my mom I'm like, you know, there's a fly in the wine
Don't drink the wine
Fucking bird flu swine flu H1N1 all those things. Those are both SARS. Yeah, you know, whatever that was yucky
Yeah, yucky girl stuff in there. I'm for sure West Nile. That's the one I was thinking of
But she's like enough like whatever she thought I was fucking around then the dude gets it and he goes praise to you
And it all you saw it
He looks down at it and he points at it and I'm looking at my mom like told you bitch
And then they the altar boy brings it in the back. Yeah, literally less than 10 seconds later comes back out
So I'm thinking he just did a fish job. Yeah, maybe you took his hand in there
Yeah, I was like, I would flip that thing out of there. Yeah
But it was so weird and then the other story is I had
CCD which was like Sunday school. Yeah that you had to go to one of my teachers hated me so much. What's your confirmation name?
Nicholas Nicholas I forgot it for a second. I was like, all right a long time ago
another story I'm in I went to CCD and then afterwards we're like meeting my mom at church was meet Keith and this kid
Dylan that we know and
There's a moth on the altar
And everyone's talking about this moth because it keeps flying away and then landing back on the altar like whatever
So then all the old women are like, oh my god, like so many so like ever this moth like whatever
Yo, this kid Dylan, you know, they had those books. Yeah, they like put in the pew. Yeah
Yeah, him books. Yeah, he took it and then walked up to the altar and just went boom and
Slanted on this moth and then turns up. This is before before church started. Yeah, or whatever the fuck
He then he picks it up turns around towards everyone
He's standing on the altar and on the back of the book is just like white dust this moth does and then everyone starts
Oh
Me and Keith are losing our minds we were dying that's hysterical though. No, I was the fact that everyone claps pretty cool
Oh, it was amazing. They could have been such tight asses about it
Yeah, tight asses tight asses sick tight ass tight buttle. Nothing better get in there
Get in there. It's hard
It's better like yeah, like I was saying like being kids rough, man, I mean I think about like how hard like
Growing up like
Little shit like just getting on the bus
Like a public bus or like a school bus. No, no, no, I'll
Cheese bus. I would never get on a public bus again in my life. No, I retired from now. I retire. It's terrifying
Yeah, fuck that that shit is like everyone's it's just fight for your life
It's a big bathroom filled with psychos. Also the other thing though, you do feel so good when you like give someone your seat
Yeah, like an old lady will come there. No, but here's the thing, right?
I hated I hated it because like when I where I went to high school. I was taking the bus to and fro every day and
It was packed dude because I'm going to Main Street. There's tons of people everyone switching buses and doing whatever
Yeah, so there's tons of people on this bus. You there's never a day
It's like, oh, wow, I can sit down and just whatever if you got a seat
It was amazing
So if there's a seat in the front of the bus, you're like fucking I'm taking this because you're not gonna get a seat in the back
So I say you sit down near the front and then I would feel weird when a woman in like her fifties
Comes on the bus because like you're supposed to give up your seat to the elderly and I'm like borderline. She's borderline
I'm like, yo
Like you're kind of flirting with
Senior citizen, but I don't want to offend you like excuse me old bitch
You want to sit because you might die if you stand
Like do one more nice thing for you before you die. Yeah, also. I also hate the like people that get on
The bus or the train
That and you give them your seat and it's like, yeah, like you were like supposed to do that
Yeah, well, thanks. Yeah, just like thanks. I'm like already though and just pee on their seat. Yeah, fuck you
Yeah, I hated that. I hated that but being on a bus as a kid. First of all the school bus you're talking about
I'm talking about yellow cheese. Oh yellow buses yellow buses getting picked up. Yeah fucking hierarchy on that fucking bus. I
Yes, first you know where the coolest on the counter 30
Where's the coolest place to sit on the bus? One two three the back the back the back the back
And you know the party it did you sit in the back though? Yes at the back. Fuck. Yeah, like also for how long I had to earn it
How'd you earn it? Um, just being being cool
She's like having like being really good at handball. I killed somebody
No, I was really good at kickball and I was like one of the fastest kids
Yeah, like I just like kind of like I was just able to sit in the back
Yo speed is like currency when you're younger fuck. Yeah, if you're fast everyone fucks at you
And you can do whatever you want. Everyone was just like, yeah
See this kid running the 40 so fucking fast. Yeah, come sit back here. Yeah, like it was but I just remember
Being on the bus being like damn, you know, like I don't know what my life would be like if I had to sit in the front
This bitch
It's so weird. It makes no sense. And it's weird how people have like assigned seats
Everyone gets on the same. Yeah for some reason you sit the same place every day. Yeah fucking weird dude in when I was in middle school
This is when I started riding. I only rode the cheese bus six to eight
Yeah, I only wrote it for a few years six grade to eighth grade in sixth grade when I first got there new school
Uh
There wasn't like a ton of white kids in the school off flexing though. What you got to come out flexing
Yeah, I mean like but I was good at I was really good at basketball for my age in sixth grade
Oh, that's that's almost I was in. Yeah, you know, I mean, but like when I first when I first got there
I just sat where wherever was open, you know what I mean?
So like I even like before even knew I like I know I can't go on the back though
No
So I was like near the middle sort of and sitting there and then one day like two months into school going there
This fucking kid who sat in the back of the class. He was in eighth grade
I was in sixth grade just walks up to me and like I'm sitting near the window, right?
So there's someone in between us and he just looks at me goes. Yo you come here. I was like and
He just brought me to the back of the bus and you got called up drafted
That's fire. It was so cuz I didn't know I've never spoken to him in my life
I had a Mike Rick Jersey on that might have been it. Yeah, I could have been it easily
Is it weird that I remember what I was wearing?
No, it's also the only thing that's weird is that you do remember that amazing point in your life
Yeah, I remember that
They all used to call me Shawn Michaels
They would call me Shawn because they said I looked like Shawn Michaels, which I didn't like let's be honest
You know, I'll take you back then though. Shawn Michaels kind of smoky. Okay. I did was crushing all kinds of stuff
Like I never I never had to sit in the front of the bus. Thankfully. Yeah in my life
So I was lucky enough to get back there. Also the bumps were always the best in the back of the bus
Yeah, that was the whole point fucking get major air major air major air back there
Oh bars bars. You ever see videos on the internet of like
Kids aren't wearing seatbelts on buses. Obviously getting tossed
Off the ceiling and shit. You're like, yo, what are these kids doing man?
Also the bus people are getting jerked on my bus sometimes. Yeah an eighth grade. Yeah
Super fire like handies
Also like buses like
To like school trips
Yeah, people were getting jerked off on those. Oh, yeah, a lot of jerking off a lot of jerking off. Yeah, not me though
No
No, I'd thank but no it's never happened to me. You ever got jade and like a movie theater
No, I got jade and movie theater once I never like none of that stuff ever happened to me
No, none of the none of the like the cliche like movie stuff
Like I never played seven minutes in heaven every place been the bottle and never done like
All like didn't happen to you. Yeah, like kissing in a movie theater or like whatever. I just nothing
Nothing happened. You ever kiss somebody in a movie theater? Even I watch this fucking movie. I'm not turning my head
Yeah, it's true. It's true. The only movie theater like thing I can even like it in
sixth grade
Or no, it was like third grade. I went to go see my dog skip in the movies. Oh first of all sad as shit
Frankie went it was my birthday went to see my dog skip. There were girls there
I cried everyone made fun of me. It was awesome. Yeah, it's rightfully so though. Yeah, Frankie munis
Munis
Munis or munis munis Frankie munis isn't like m unis though
No, uh, no
iz
easy
Man, you're gonna spill something else. Yeah
Let's see. I gotta check though Malcolm in the middle though. Good show
It was iz. Thank you
Yo Frank that's a weird looking dude. Yeah, he looks like he looks like a chihuahua. He looks like how he looked when he was seven with
Facial hair. Yeah, that sucks
Yeah, he looks like an old painter
Like from like the 1600s. He's very strange looking. I agree with that. Honestly, that makes a lot of sense to me
Yeah, he looks very strange. I don't yeah, I don't like Frankie munis
I'm actually a cool guy. He was in everything like when we were kids
No, he wasn't Malcolm in the middle. He was in the banks Cody. Wow Cody banks. Yeah, he was crushing a couple of my dog skip
He had an accent in that
It was good performance
The other thing that sucked about going to the movies breaking racial barriers in that movie by the way
That is true
Very true that movie was pretty good
But you can't hit a dog with a shovel and expect me not to cry. No. Yeah, it's fucked. Yeah, it's fucked
All those girls could fucking well. Yeah, where are they now? Whatever
Where are they now?
Where are you now?
Yeah, I cried but look at me now. Look at me now. Look at me now. Look at I mean
Yeah, go into it. You also like you never I never had like money though like going into like movie theaters when I was a kid
Do I had no I got the ticket. That was it. Yeah, I was lucky to have no candy for me. No no fucking
soda
Nothing. No, dude. I had no money soda
You know what my go-to soda. Yeah, uh, you know, I'll make it even harder. You ready for this
Root beer or cream soda
You can only have one
What are you trying to do to me?
I know my answer wait. I want you or something root beer cream soda, right
Root beer cream soda now now that we're just on like fuck. We're other soda. I don't care about the other soda
Uh
Only one
What temperature is it like what's the weather?
70
Overcast
You're not helping me
Gotta gotta gotta keep it easy. Gotta. I mean I can't make it to where I where am I?
You're home
In my house in your house
70 and it's overcast. I'm not in my bedroom. No, of course not
Overcast 75 no soda in the bedroom. No, no, no, it's a big rule
What time of day I say like 315 dude, you're really not helping me here
Um, you're like you're coming in from outside
Oh, am I like tired? You just got home. It's 315. I was just like playing basketball. Yeah
In 315 you're coming in you go to the fridge. So it's clearly a we can open clearly a weekend
Yeah, there's root beer and there's cream soda
Keith or somebody's gonna have the other one you can only take choose now which one you taken
I'll take cream gotta go cream soda. You scream it's cream, right? It's cream soda, but it's it's hard
This is a hard conversation
Root beer you ever have stewards root beer. I've had it. It's mad good. It is
Another soda. That's mad good a and w a and w root beer is great
But they also make great cream soda if you told me that root beer was like
Horse dick blend it up. I'd be like get me a horse. Yeah, I'll drink that. Yeah
Flat cream soda though
Is the grossest thing of all time
I'd rather do flat root beer than flat fucking cream soda
flat any soda
Sucks sucks sucks. It's so disappointing too. Yeah, it's like this was something when you twist that bottle and it just makes no noise
Oh, yeah, it's like
It's like a like one of those weak ass farts sometimes
I'm like, I'm not drinking this fucking fuck that. What's the ass drink?
You have like try so hard to fart and all that's all you get and you're like, oh fuck this
I thought I was gonna get some funny stuff. Yeah. No, we can't do that
Other thing too is it's weird. They call it a soft drink
Dude, you know what's funny? I never understood like I know I understand what it means. All right, so before I know
I don't I don't understand. Let me make that clear. Okay
You want to know?
Yeah, a soft drink is like something with alcohol in it
So every fucking drink in the world basically. Yeah, but it's like I guess like a soda or like something that isn't water
Like oh, it's a soft drink like there's no there's no alcohol in it
Hard that's why they call liquor like hard liquor. Oh, I see. Okay
Stupid it's stupid. It's also like
Not soft. It's wet. I would also
I would also like argue that it's kind of rough like if you drink root beer pretty fast your your throat burns. Yeah
Seltzer too. You know you hate seltzer though. Seltzer is disgusting. I love seltzer
How do you hate seltzer because it's soda without the best part of soda?
No, because you can get like lemon like like flavor lemon lime. You can get good flavors pomegranate. You can also get fucking sprite
Dude another thing that was weird too. It was like commercials would always show people playing basketball
Or something and then like drinking sprite. Sprite's the last fucking thing. I want to drink if I'm playing basketball
You ever played basketball? Be like, yo, I would die for a sprite right now
Never you know something weird when I was younger like
Wait, what the fuck is that noise?
Oh, uh
When I was younger I would uh
Head to I keep I'd said that like nine times. Just not out. Sorry
Uh, I would go to the park at like 7 30 in the morning of my friend Dennis and play basketball
Whatever and just like work up a sweat or some shit. Then we come back to his house and he would always pour me a glass of Pepsi
And I would drink the shit out of it. Like you're not gonna turn down Pepsi down
But I also was like it'd be sick if we had like some pole in spring right now Gatorade too
Gatorade was clutch. Yeah, but Gatorade like I won't drink when I'm throwing up
Yeah, but Gatorade like I won't drink when I'm thirsty either
It's sugar and it makes me want to vomit. Yeah
You're not really into like sugary drinks. No
Hot summer day though. I'll bust the Gatorade back
I'll drink a Gatorade too, but like it's not like you're not eating the first thing you're going if I'm playing sports
Like I need water like don't get me a Gatorade. You know what I mean?
And don't get me especially in the summer super hot that bullshit Gatorade like Gatorade rain frost where it's like
Oh, we we filled this up halfway with Gatorade and then just poured water in it. Yeah, it's also like medicine
I don't want this. Yeah, God gross. Yeah, fuck out of here with this dime a tap shit. No, but they used to have like a mango one
a mango fucking
Gatorade rain Gatorade. No, fuck Gatorade rain. That's it was trash. Yeah, what's the what's a Gatorade?
Frost, I don't know. I don't know. They like glacier freeze was like glacier freeze. I remember one flavor
Do you ever have like any friends like summer friends?
The fuck's that mean like friends you only saw in the summer
There was only one kid that I could remember like a summer friend. Yeah, it's weird
I have summer friends. It was only because it's not weird though because
I can't really go anywhere except the park
right, so
If you don't go to my school, I'm only gonna see you if you go to this park. Yeah, and his name was leo
Take a ball he was nice and then he ended up going to my school
Oh, really?
Yeah, cuz like what my parents let me go to the school go to the school
Let me go to the park like by myself like early like I was like second grade and they're like all right
Go ahead and let go so I'll be playing ball whatever and then I met this kid leo in the summer
And we would just he'd be there all the time when I was there and he was playing ball. He was nice whatever
Then in fifth grade he shows up
I'm like
Leo
What's good, dude?
Yeah, we're friends for real. Yeah, I think I like
Where's he at now? I don't know. I haven't I haven't seen him. Let's try and find him
I know where he used to live
But I like I'm pretty sure he moved
Yeah, I mean if you haven't seen him since fifth grade, I'm thinking blue by now
He had a fucking dope ass bike
Did he there's always a kid with a cool bike remember when stealing bikes was like the shit
I'd never stole a bike
I mean, I think everyone's everyone stole a bike. I haven't stolen a bike like what kind of bike did you have though?
I had a gt dyno
Those things were fired. That's the that's the one that he had. He had a gt dyno. Yeah, it was white. Yeah
Mine wasn't white. Mine was black and green. I had some yellow shit. It was uh, it was a mongoose
Mongooses were cool, but it was like uh, it was like we're good. Who's schwin. Oh schwin schwing
uh
Yeah, no, but I remember when people I used to steal bikes all the time two of my friends
My other two friends bikes would you do the deli and just like whatever would I keep what like would you keep it at your house?
My bike like no, I feel like if you took someone's bike
Well, I never like took someone's bike right. I would always like return it
or like leave it
What do you
So so you would either you would either steal it or you would not steal it. No, I don't know
I wouldn't steal random people's bikes
But if you found a bike you're like I'm this is I'm riding this bike. That's what I'm saying
Yeah, I've done that I'm not like sneaking in dressed in all black and like stealing it from your
Yeah, and like tipping over a garbage can and get out of the driveway
But if it's like in a in an area where I'm like, um, that's my bike
You guys aren't really you don't feel like you don't really care about this. I'll take it off. Yeah, don't leave your bike anywhere
Yeah, no, I might my bike got stolen too to this day
Watch your bike around me. Yeah, like don't leave a bike around me. Don't do it
I'm fucking I'm writing that shit up. I will ride that till the chain pops off
Riding bikes in the summer as a kid is so awesome. It's the best. It was the best thing ever. Did you have pegs?
Fuck yeah, I had pegs. Me and Keith almost died
He was on the pegs and he was riding. I was pegging
A little the definition of that
Google it. We'll uh, we'll cut that in post. Yeah, we'll cut it in post. Um
Um
No, but I was on keith's pegs
And he was riding keith was a keith is incredible on a bike by the way. Is he I swear to god
I'm not even kidding like people think I'm making this up. We live on a hill. Yeah, and keith used to take his bike
And ride it down the hill no brakes mad fast and time it
So that because there's a light at our corner that it would be a green light and he'd be safe to go forward
Through the intersection and he would be on his pegs
Standing not touching the the seat not the seat not touching the handlebars
Just standing one of these superman types. No not touching the handlebars
Just standing straight up on the pegs. No way. I promise that's true. Asked my brother thomas
In the fucking circus. That's what I said
He would just be he would ride it
It would have mad speed and then he'd just stand on the peg straight up
And the handlebars would stay straight and he would go right through the intersection
First of all, that's one of the coolest fucking things. I know in life
Dude, you have no idea. How's there no footage of this? I don't who had a phone
No, you think you could still do it. Are you fucking crazy? No way. No way
But he was a superhero
There I went like could you do wheelies?
not for like
Blah like I'm not like meek mill. Yeah, I used to always I used to always hate kids that could wheelie better than me
I can't like, you know, I couldn't do anything like super cool. There was the bunny hop
Yeah, and then there was the
Like powerslide break Keith slid the shit out of his bike too. Yeah, man
I was big powers. I was a big powerslider Keith was nasty on a bike, dude. Like I'm dead serious
Like he's the man he yeah when we were growing up. I'm not even lying
We would play football Keith was the number one overall pick and it wasn't even close
He was a beast. He was the fastest one or one of the fastest ones and he would level
anybody
Dude, we used to play like because we were nice because we like we all played sports growing up
That's all we did and we would play kids that were way older than us from other neighborhoods
They would come yeah and play at our field. That was the best too. Yeah, and Keith would just level people
Like we played on this field that had
Big like big-ass trees aligned on the side. Yeah, so that was out of bounds
So if you were close to that and like you were like you would get hit you're getting lit the fuck up into the bushes
Yeah, yo, I'm telling you this dude like you know when there's always one dude who was too old to be playing with you
You're like, yeah, why there's always the older kid at the park like why are you here?
Like yo, you're like 23 playing with 15 year olds like it's a little weird, right?
There's this one kid who was like 23 25
He's not playing for some reason. Yeah, and he's running up the sidelines and Keith
Fucking ran and buried this kid
It just the kid disappeared into the bushes dude disappeared didn't see him
And he came out covered in like dirt and fucking branches and he's like
He was he wanted like a flag or some shit. Yeah. Yeah, that's 15. He's like you can't do that
And keep you know Keith not in confrontation. He just walks away. He's like, well, he's like, yeah, I don't know next play
Like he's ready for the next play like yo, he was a beast
Do you remember at UFC 203 when Keith spilled his beer on that dude?
Yeah, the guy turns around and he goes they were they were uh foreign guys
They were like, oh, did you spill something on and Keith was like
What? No, man. I don't know. I don't know man. I'm I don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry
He spilled like a quarter of his beer like down his entire chair
I feel like you didn't know who's him. Keith is a superhero, man. Keith is a superhero. Super Keith
Super Keith
The other thing too is like a big old dick big old big old floppy mess down there too. It's fire though
It's 100 fire
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um
Other thing too like summer shit. Obviously the summer is just the shit
barbecue season
hype
Yo ice pops. We have to get those. Yeah, we gotta get the ice pops. We do ice pops are serious
Excuse me, which I which ice pops did you always get from like mr. Softy?
Oh, um
Depends on how much money I had
Like if I was broke, I would get like the uh the captain america fucking firecracker one
Oh, that's garbage red white and blue. That'd be like it's the cheapest fucking one
Yeah, uh super mario pop, but if I was balling I would get like choco tacos and shit
Those are like two bucks. Yeah, that's like. Yeah, that was currency
That's big time dollar dude to this day. I owe this girl. Chelsea that I grew up with like mad money for slurpees
Slushies slushies slurpee same thing. Yeah, no, but they were slushies vita pot. Slush. Do you remember those slush puppies slush puppies? Yeah
Those are great. Those are literally
ice and just
syrup and just cancer just yeah
Just like every sip was hours off your life. Did you uh, I think if I like
If I had to pick one of them though blue
Yes
Blue no doubt about it. Yeah the purple and always hung around orange wasn't bad. No
Or you know what I did mix mix it all
Give me all
Because it's just it's just literally like like you know, I'm talking about like the uh, the actual frozen
water like the frozen juice pops
Oh, oh flavor ice things flavor ice. Yeah. Yeah the ice pops. Yeah. Oh, which ones are those?
The best one was uh blue is the best one
Pink was good too
I never had they're all good. They're all good. Like I don't know. I don't know. I still I fuck with purple
It's a purple and orange are like the last ones I'll eat
Like I'll have red. I'll have pink. I'll have oh green is my favorite. Yeah, green's a good one
Green's fire. Yeah, green's a good one turns your tongue a different color. Hell. Yeah. Are you a lizard? Fuck. Yeah, bitch
What's up? All right me say something for sure for sure. I need I need you to say something baby. Yeah
Yeah, uh
No, but slushies. Yeah mixing them
You can get a little crazy with that. No red and blue
Dude, and I was such a scumbag when I was younger because it's slushy slushy missing
What's going on slushy machine the slushy miss you. Oh my god. You did it again
Slushy miss
Yo, I'm not even kidding. I'm not doing this on purpose
Slushy slushy machine
Yo one more time. Okay
Slushy machine
It's a it's hard. All right. You got it though
I'm here. I'm here. I'm here with you. I'm justifying. It's it's hard Danny. I'm right here. I'm right here slushy machine
Yes, the slushy machine
Was right behind the register. Okay
So I'd be like, yo, let me get
The blue slushy. Yeah, and they would turn around. I'll just shove like a
Pack of starbursts in my pocket. Damn. You were a klepto stealer. I was a scumbag
Because I knew how Mike. Yo, this place has half cameras. I know it doesn't
Or I was stealing like baby bottom pops or whatever the fuck that was baby bottle pops
Baby bottle pops. You just suck in and suck and shake it
Maybe it again. It's baby bottle pop. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, those are great. I mean, no
like fun dip
Not for me not in me there. That's like that's that's like
A gateway drug to like actual drugs. Yeah, it looks like a big ass Xanax
Yeah, I felt like a crackhead every time I would dip that thing in there and just suck that flavorless stick
Suck that flavorless stick. That thing sucked
The barbecues though
Back to barbecues. Yeah. Yeah. Quick question. Yes hot dogs. Yeah
catch up for monsters
Catch up catch up. Yeah, I do both
At the same time you put mustard on things catch up and mustard. Yeah
spicy brown
I wouldn't put mustard on my
My mother's burning body to put her out
You hate mustard. I hate mustard
I hate it
I hate mustard
No, it's trash. I hate that shit. It's disgusting. If it gets in my hand, my day's ruined
Yeah, you go through more catch up than anyone I've ever seen in my life. I crush catch you
Crush it. I couldn't live without condiments
No, I couldn't I have to dip everything. You don't like mayonnaise though, right? I like mayonnaise like on what though?
Like sandwiches like if you get a ham and cheese sandwich
I'll put mayonnaise on it. You'll get mayonnaise on it probably more than the average person too
You know when you go to like mcdonald's and fucking like new jersey
They put mustard on your cheeseburgers. I will literally
I will fucking kill someone gross. I will kill a person. It's disgusting
I hated it. I'll go behind the register
And start fucking shit up. You put mustard on my fucking cheese. Not cheeseburger. First of all, first of all
Hot dog I get cheeseburger now. First of all
Big move mcdonald's
I
mustard is like
You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's not ketchup. No ketchup's like ketchup. Oh, yeah, it's an american dream ketchup
Mustard's like this weird thing that only a certain kind of person fucks with I could see what you can't just be standard throwing that around
It's disgusting
And it's irresponsible and we need to do something about it
Spicy brown. Just try it once
You may like it
If mustard is mixed into like because mustard
Like what about like baked beans? My mom puts mustard on like the ham. Yeah
You know what I'm saying? Like I don't mind it then because it's it's like a very small it adds some sort of flavor
Right, you're not just going hard. Just a
All over your hot dog
Like it both together. No, it's disgusting
Which condiments could you just stick two fingers in and just eat mayonnaise?
No, you couldn't. Yeah, I could do it
Hold on. I could I could do it
You could stick two fingers into a jar mayonnaise. Yeah and eat it. Yes. Yeah, you're literally the most disgusting person
I know. Yeah, it's pretty hot though. Yo, that's disgusting. I'm just you asked me I answered the question
I'm not gonna just gonna go around just being like, oh, what do you got there?
You got some mayo over there and just fucking dip my two fingers in and eat it like over ketchup
Over barbecue sauce. Oh, yeah, I forgot about barbecue sauce over like sweet baby rays. Sweet baby rays is fucking yeah
I have to change it. Holy shit that stuff
I don't consider barbecue sauce like as a condiment for some reason it is but I don't consider it
You want to know why because it's like the least used
I mean, I've been I've been honestly using it a lot lately
On what like anything with chicken
Yeah, but like when you cook chicken, I feel like you like you like use it to marinate stuff
I don't know. Fuck with that
Barbecue sauce on a burger is fire
Yeah
You ever get one of those gross burgers with like onion rings on it and first of all onion rings really need to take a hike
Fuck onion rings. It depends on the size
I don't like those huge ones like I don't want a big old onion ring get that out of here
I don't like it. You ever had an awesome blossom from tji fridays. No. Oh my gosh. Isn't that onion rings?
Yeah, no, it's like a it's like an onion blooms. Oh blooming onion. Yeah, it's so good, dude. It's disgusting
Yeah, it's amazing. How do you just eat a fucking onion?
You don't get you but you don't even get onions or tomatoes on sandwiches either. I get tomatoes. I don't get onions
I don't I hate why did we make the onion?
Not that we did but who but someone's responsible for this horrific thing. What's going on your build a burger for me right now
It depends. Again, we'll go back to what day is it build it build it where what's all out. You're going all out. It's hot
It's going whatever you yeah, whatever is ideal for you
Okay, you're going all out. You're eating this by yourself. No one's even around to see you eat this thing
I don't know
How many patties?
How many patties? Yeah, who the fuck gets patties? It was as fast food. I'm getting a big ass
Well, I'm saying like what are you making you want to eat? All right. So you want a big fat?
Yeah, big thick fucking bison burger. Oh
I had that for the first time at a nick game. Yeah, bison's mad. Good. It's very good. Fantastic lamb is also good
I don't know why I said that. Where are we going? It was really good. No, we're just hungry. I'm starving
My favorite burger though. I don't know like because sometimes I like barbecue bacon burgers
Right. Yeah, the best like those are fire, but like classic burgers are good, too
McDonald's or burger king
Whopper or big mac
I mean, I don't fuck with either. Damn, dude. Really?
So I so but I use I've eaten I've definitely eaten McDonald's more in my life
I fuck with McChickens because they're very cheap and very good chickens dollar menu. You ever get a spicy McChicken?
Yeah, mad. Good. You get one of each
What was that? That's just me dreaming. I had one right off
I used to go with my friend Josh and I actually I used to vlog this this was back in like 2011
And we went to McDonald's and I also I would order the same thing. We'll get two McChickens
Uh a snack wrap. Mm-hmm grilled chicken. Oh, no crispy chicken with barbecue sauce for mad good, too
And get a shake and a medium fry and dip the fries in the vanilla shake a McFlurry or shake a shake
McFlurry's our pretender. Yeah, sure McFlurry's
Got whole m&m's in here. I'm trying not to choke
And this thing isn't even a straw. What is this thing that you're giving me divin team frosty though
Frosties are good. Do you dip your fries in your frosty?
I dip fries into any sort of liquid that's around me
If I have no condiments, but I'm near a lake. Yeah, I'm dipping it in the lake. Oh, yeah
I can't not dip food. I don't eat anything dry
Boss sits here and he fucking eats fries dry
Disney also eats like
Spaghetti with no tomato sauce. It's just like. Oh, yeah, it's just like he just raw dogs pasta. That's disgusting. That is like
I can't get behind that. That's disgusting. I'm not supporting that. No, I'm not into that at all
Not into that at all. No
I hate it. Are you gonna hit the beach this summer?
I hate that too. I hate the beach. Fuck the beach
Especially jones beach out here. Jones beach is gross. The fuck is this? Do you know what's bad? Coney Island?
It's bad
It's disgusting. Yeah, so anyone who's watching this who hears like new york coney island. Oh my god, the beach never go
It's terrible. I've never yeah. I think I've only been to coney island like twice. They got good food there
Oh, they have great the boardwalk is great the second
The boardwalk is amazing as soon as you step onto the sand
You were having a bad day. Yeah, and you have made a mistake and now you know you've made a mistake
Coney island is a shithole
That's a track too. That's a race. There's tons of people
Yeah, and like just random garbage syringes. There's a diaper in the water and shit
That's too much. I don't know if any of like, I don't know the diaper part's true
But I definitely you know, I would say there's a greater chance there's a diaper in there than one not being in there
I'll agree to that and the water is also always freezing. I don't know
I feel like they're dumping ice into the ocean for some reason. That's a road trip
That's a long coney island far, but it's only like where we grew up. It was one train. Oh, that's not bad the train that's closest to our
Neighborhood you get on that and you sit on it to the last stop. It was an hour. Yeah, it's like an hour
That's not too bad of a trip. I guess. What's the longest road trip you ever been on? Ohio?
Damn, you drove to Ohio nine hours. Fuck that. It's trash
Fuck
We drove to Ohio
like overnight and
Honestly, I hated like Ohio
Like not anything because I didn't go to all of Ohio. Where'd you go?
Uh, Ohio State University see with the Columbus
Yeah, so like but the surrounding area was just like really shitty and we stayed at like the worst hotel ever just a bad trip
It was just a bad trip and I'm not saying like Ohio
As a whole sucks
But I was just like, yo, this is terrible
Oh, yeah, I and it also might have been because I drove nine hours. Yo on the way there
We stopped at a gas station that was like super high-tech and like weird looking
I don't know the name of it. It was just like
It was like a sound like it was like thing or some shit like it was like a weird name like I don't know
I don't know what it was. But we went in there. It's like 4 a.m
And they didn't and we were starving. Okay, and we're like, yo, there's no like food or whatever all they had was this like
computer
That you put your order into
And then it the something makes it for you. That's weird. And what did I get?
a hot dog
So I got this hot dog
Dude, this hot dog was so bad. It's gross. It first of all, I it was
I thought it was fake
Because I'm eating it. I'm like, yo, first of all, it's things mad shiny
Just been cooking for a long time probably or just like
I don't know. It looked plastic. You ever just see like one of those roasted disgusting
That's probably what you had like an over roasted disgusting
Plastic looking fucking hot dog. Dude. I just they just slipped out of some fucking piece of plastic
Can you imagine eating a hot dog?
at 4 a.m
And then getting in the car and driving another I would say that's gross, but yes, I could imagine eating that
It's literally the most disgusting thing in the world
Road, here's a single reason why I hate road trips. I'm like, I know you the show always always comes back to poop
Rest stops are some of the grossest areas I've ever seen in my life
I will shit my pants before I shit in a rest stop. It's gross
You ever have to like
Like I'd rather shit in the woods
Yeah, like just private more private too. Just wall sit against the tree and just let it fly. Yeah
Like a shaman bear. Oh, yeah
Nine hours like I couldn't even like if someone said that to me. I'd be like fuck no
Yeah, I just did six hours to Pittsburgh for the playoff game. Oh like this past winter
We did you sleep there?
Yes, that's good. No, but it also wasn't good because
We that was the game where it was like three degrees too, right?
Dude, it was bad. I had a beer in my hand and then I'm getting distracted for like 20 minutes
And then look back my beer is like frozen. Jesus. It was fucking crazy. We sat first row though. That was fire
Yeah, that's pretty cool. So I was like, yeah, if we're gonna drive six hours, we're sitting first fucking row on the 50 yard line
Yeah, it was fire. Um, but
Pittsburgh is awesome by the way
It's all surrounded by like bridges and lakes. It's so it was fucking sick like Pittsburgh was sick. I've never been there
It's really cool. Um, but anyway
We got there the day before
Stayed at a hotel and smart and then but then we went to the game and as soon as the game was over we drove back
like immediately
How's that stadium?
It's dope. It's dope. Yeah, it was all all around like pittsburgh was cool
Like the city that they have they have like they made like a it looks like a college town like around the city
Like I'm sure I didn't see of all of pittsburgh obviously
But around the stadium, which is kind of like where we stayed because we walked from our hotel to the stadium
There's just like this little ass town with like a bunch of restaurants and bars and stuff. It was dope. I'm sorry. Yeah
like uh, I always think about like uh
Like driving across like cross country like we talked about it. Yeah
I think like in the first two hours. I feel like yo, we might have to pull this thing around
I'm good. Why?
Like I you know driving cross country
That's gotta be hard as fuck. Hell. Yeah
If you have an itinerary though, and you're like, yo, we're gonna stop in Nashville
We're gonna stop in fucking austin. Yeah, and we're gonna stop in like why only if you run like an rv though
Yeah, but like so like here's the thing right? So I have this talk with people all the time because
RVs are dope like a tour bus. Hell. Yeah. Yeah. I mean no, I think that like they're cool
Until you're like RV like family vacation like across confine. What like so it's basically a tour bus though
Not that big
like you ever see like uh
Meet the parents
He's got a big ass fucking family. Yeah, not that not yeah, but not that big a little smaller
But like fits like four four people whatever, but I'm saying like to me that sounds cool
Until you're 350 miles in you go
Fuck this. Yeah, like none of it's fun
Unless you get to stop and stay all the time. Yeah, but even then like
I don't really like it that I wouldn't really like the idea of that. I like being home. Yeah
I don't like you know doing all this and I'm like, I just want to fly back. You know what I mean? You ever been in the midwest?
Uh, I've never been there. I heard it's fucking gorgeous out there. No, I want to go to texas. So texas
I was in texas like on a layover though for like three hours. So I've never like I don't I know
I've never been to the midwest in houston. I was in houston for like three hours
I would love to go to houston. I heard it's a really nice city. I want to go to nashville. Yeah, nashville is doable though
Nashville's close. I mean that's kind of like ohio. Yeah
It's not that bad
I mean, I still wouldn't drive. No, you would definitely fly. Yeah
Yeah, probably be cheaper to
To fly. Yeah. Yeah
Gas wise you're gonna get merked crazy and then you gotta get like groceries for the fucking chill
Can you fuck on rvs?
On rvs or in them?
Well, you could you could definitely fuck on top of an rv. It'd be pretty dope. You need a ladder
Yeah, they have ladders on the back of them. Do they? Yes. Why for that reason to fuck on them. No
I didn't know I didn't know I'd never had an rv before we should look up a cup rvs
Just we're not gonna get I know we're not gonna get one just to like
Settle this debate of what they should look like. You know what I saw the other day. It's because I
Macklemore has this song with kesha called
Um good old days. I've never heard it. It's a good song. I loved it and the video is even better
Yo, Macklemore has fire videos
Yeah, he's kind of he's kind of sure. I like Macklemore for where he is. But anyway, so uh, the video was dope because it's like
You remember those old school like volks wagon
Bugs. Yeah, the bug buses the like the white on top and then the color underneath
It's like what you drove to uh, what I was gonna say livestock to wood stock and like whatever the hippie vans
He did acid out of it. Yeah, people were getting fucked and it was fine. I like this
Like uh, the little misshunt sunshine van exactly, right?
So it was like that and they drove to this place in the woods and then like there was like
Tents set up and like all their friends were there and it was really fucking awesome
So then I got inspired. I was like, yo, you know, I'm gonna do my mind you. It's like 2 a.m
It's like I'm gonna buy a school bus
And then I'm gonna turn it into like an rv
Kind of a cool idea though. Yeah, but like it's a little ridiculous. But but no, yeah, right?
Probably not probably not. Yeah, is what I'm trying to say
But I looked I stumbled upon this site
That sells these school buses that people
renovated gutted and then renovated to make it sort of like an rv
And but it's way more open. There's no rooms or anything and like I don't know if there's like a bathroom either
It's just like a living space
Which is sick. Yeah, it's dope
And I was like, yo god, I want to go and like I saw one and I was like, yo, this looks fire
Guess how much it costs?
How new is the bus dude, I have no info
$12,000 10. Oh, yeah, see it was around there. I was I was like, yo, it's a domicile. That's why you can probably live in it
Yeah, yeah, I was I was like, yes, I would I would bought it
10 g's for like a moving house
Gun your head. How long could you live in a car for?
Like my current car your car. Yeah, do it. Yeah, how long could you live out of your car? You think
Not long
Could you make it a week?
If I absolutely had to obviously
Right, but like I would I would hate for support. Like could you just do it? It's like a bet-wise. Could you settle a bet?
How how much am I getting paid?
Someone comes to be like, yo, I'll give you a thousand bucks to stay in your car for every night for a week
Can I like uh
You could go outside and enjoy your day. Well, can I go can I go back into my apartment and hang it for a little bit?
And then because I could do that like no problem. Yeah, all right. Yeah, I'll let you do that. Oh, I could yeah
You but you have to go sleep every day in the car. Whatever. I've slept in a car before
I've slept in a car mad times actually
I'm serious
elaborate
There was a time where I was in Connecticut at my friend's summer house
I fell asleep in some girl's car
I was drunk as fuck
She wasn't driving. You know, it's impossible to get comfortable in cars though. Yeah, I also slept in a car with nick once
Because there was no room and like we went to my friend's uh
like
House on like in jersey
And there was like mad space that was like whatever and we were drunk as hell
We didn't want to stay in the house that his parents were in. So we're like, oh fuck. Let's just stay in your car
Yeah, and like it's garbage. Yeah, it sucks. That's awful. That's a funny story. So, uh
Couple buddies of mine were hanging out one time
Getting like stupid drunk like hanging out. Oh, yeah, just a couple of boys. Just throw them back
Getting twisted and a couple new skis
banging hammers. Yeah, so they're drinking. Yep
and um
Also, don't drink and drive is the moral of this story
But um, so they were drinking or whatever one of my buddy goes into the bathroom
Uh to watch hands or whatever to get ready to come out. He comes out. My other buddy's missing
So he waits for him. He's calling him. He was like, yo, uh, I can't get in touch with him
I'm just gonna bounce like he was supposed to sleep at his house
so
the next morning
That friend who couldn't find my other friend goes out to his car. He's sleeping in the back seat
He was in the back seat the entire time
So when he was waiting for him outside of the bar, he was already in the back seat sleeping
They didn't find him. He slept in the car in like 13 degree weather overnight
That's great. It's a great story
It's hysterical. They found that he found the next day going in there. He's terrified. He passed out back there
I got a couple like weird friend stories. I never tell you a story about my friend's mom sleepwalking
No, so
This is fucking scary. First of all, let me just come out and say that sleepwalking is one of the most terrifying things in the whole world
And I've never as fuck. I've never experienced anyone around me or myself sleepwalking and if I did
I would not handle it well. No, I it's terrifying. Someone's getting punched. Yeah, so yeah, so here we go. So my i'm
I'm basically living with my friend at this point. This is like a part uh part
I was living with him for like almost a year and his family
um
One day I'm downstairs watching tv
And I hear like this commotion upstairs. Like I just hear like stuff going on, you know, I'm like anxious, right?
So like I just hear like stuff moving around like like no not normal sounds, but like
What's going on? Yeah, like what's what's going on and it's like around like 10 or 11 at night
Uh-huh
So
I'm starting to like be like what's going on? What's going on? So now I walk I get up off the couch
I walk towards the stairs and I just look up the stairs and it's my friend's mom
Just standing there
And then she puts her hands up like this and goes my hands
My hands I can't feel my hands somebody took my hands
Now i'm terrified
Now i'm terrified. I didn't like that
But now in my head I go she's having a stroke
You know, she's like, oh, I can't feel my hands. I was like, I cannot believe you thought of that
That would have been like it's a demon and
Raised up the stairs and fucked her up. I swear to god. So now i'm like
Now I just started screaming for my friend. I'm like, yo, yo, yo, yo your mom is like, yo
She's having a stroke or something. Yo, I don't know what's going on
And my friend is just like, yo
Just started like laughing
I was like, yo, why what's going on? Why are you laughing? So, yo, my mom's sleepwalks, bro
And she does shit like this
I was like wait
She does this shit like more than once she was like, yeah, she's done it like a bunch of times
They find her like walking around
The crazy thing is is that you could be sleepwalking and and do shit like that
My hands yo, I would have hit her so hard. First of all, it also just made it scarier because I was looking up the stairs at it
Fuck that. I know
Yo, if she took a step towards you. Oh, I don't know what I've done. I don't know what I've done. It's me or her literally
It's me or her at that point. It's me or her. I would have beat the shit out of her. You don't have hands now
You're not gonna have a head in a second. I'll tell you that you come down. First of all, have you ever seen the movie the visit?
No
It's scary because it reminds me of this story. Oh
But except it, you know, I have chills right now thinking about it. Yeah, yeah in that fucking movie
The old woman
In the middle of the night
Is running around. Oh, it's terrifying
Dude old woman runs near me
Why are you all fucking hitting you? Oh, yeah, why are old women so scary at night? Fuck that. Yeah, fuck that
So scary, but yeah, I'm divorcing my wife before she's old enough to be scary at night
Because I'm not dealing with that. You've never slept walks like no, like you don't have like a sleepwalking store
No, I only have one and I slept walked and like I I pissed
What I was asleep. What'd you what'd you pee? I was like you just took a pee. I was uh sleeping over at a friend's house
I was like 15 or 16
I had a couple drinks
Like this but like this is like we're just starting the drink, right? So you had four beers. Yes. I had like four beers
I'm fucking wasted. Yeah. Yeah, we get snuck back into the house
Getting bed. We think everything's all right
I go to sleep
I wake up the next day and my friend's facing me literally his back to me while he's on the computer
Like I'm about to like scold me. It feels like I was like, yo, what's up, man? He's like, hey, man
You know you did last night
And he's like playing a computer game literally I'm talking to the back of his head at this point
It's like, you know, you did last night. I was like, no
It's like you pissed all over my fucking floor, man
So
He goes to me. I go, I go, you know, there's no way he goes. Yeah, man
I woke up in the middle of the night and you were just pissing on my floor
And then I go I go to tell you I'm saying he said I uh, I'm telling you to stop
I'm telling you to stop. I'm telling you to stop my response goes. It goes, uh, I go apparent
I don't remember it. I go, you know, don't worry about it. There's a cup down there
So me I'm in a world where I think I'm pissing into a cup
On your boy's floor on my boy's floor and thinking this is okay
Yeah
Sleep pissing is terrifying
I have almost slept pissed. I pissed dribbled. I definitely dribbled. Yeah, but did you like have a dream like that you were peeing?
That's different. Yeah, I'm talking about walking around my body literally rose
From where I was sleeping walk to a comfortable place and pissed on it. Yeah. No, that's that's that's stupid
I've never done that. That's scary. You get fucking hurt like that. Yeah, that's weird
A buddy a buddy of mine too told me a story once like he just woke up in his bathroom once with like water running
Terrifying dude, that's so weird. Yeah, I don't like that. Yo sleepwalking is mad scary
I don't yeah, I've never done that like I people talking in their sleep too. Scary as fuck
I've done that. I'm gonna be like
I'm like, yo, what is going on, dude? Yeah, or you've had people laugh
That's the most terrifying my mom my mom laughed like is when I sleep at my mom's house like now
Yeah, I'll sleep in her bed because there's no my I have no bed there. How's that cute? Yeah, and uh
This one morning I just hear her go
And I was like the fuck
Yo, that's too scary. I just felt my hand turning into a fist. I was like, yo, if I got to I will
Can't handle that though, but it's mad creepy. That's mad creepy, but I remember when I was super young
my brother Thomas said that uh
He walked into my room once and I sat up and went I already recorded that
And then just laid down. He's like, all right. Oh, that's off. Shut the fucking door. You have no recollection of it
I have no idea, but it's like a it's like a running joke in our family
This is uh, charlie over like
Yeah, dogs dogs is cute when they're dreaming my my dog like
He like is loud as fuck though with it
I'm like charlie
I always wonder what the fuck are they dreaming? Yeah, I don't know like are they running in their dream?
Are they like fighting something? Yeah, like yeah
You always see his cheeks just go like
Yeah
They do the puppy
Yeah, I know
Dogs dreaming is kind of cute though. I don't really have any like crazy
Like when I sleep I just like sleep for the normal person. Yeah, except for that like I already recorded that recorded that thing
That's another thing I can really think of you ever just like woken up like naked. Yeah
I've never done that either mad times
It's just throughout the night
You know like even like my girl will like wake up and like uh
Like drink water
Like she'll reach over drink water and go right back to sleep. She won't remember doing it
That that will happen too sometimes. That's crazy
Well, like if something happens in the middle of the night, I'm not gonna I'm delirious
I know but like your mind has like the actual drink was a little insane
Take it drink it put it back in the thing and go back to sleep. That's not weird. Yeah, that's that's strange
You know that is a little weird
That shit bugs me out. I don't like sleeping
But like sleeping is all right, but like I love sleeping when I am sleeping. I hate the process of going to sleep
Well, that's impossible
What do you mean?
Like going to sleep is like near impossible now. Yeah, that that's why I just like hop on twitch and I'm watching random
And I just hope I fall asleep at some point. Yeah, I just hope I'm tired, but like that's the thing too like
I
When I when I'm tired. Yeah, I fall asleep so hard. Yeah, I like I'm rarely like that tired
Do you sleep through the night like yeah, so you're a good sleeper then? Yeah, yeah, especially like
But I'm and like I wake up the same time
Every day. Yeah, so you have like I'm up early
You're like so even if I'm hammer drunk and I go to sleep at 3 a.m
I'm gonna be up and at I'm like wired at 8 and I don't really get hangovers
If I drink I'm not gonna sleep well
Like I'll be up every three hours like I haven't drank water in eight years
That doesn't happen to me. I sleep through you drink water though probably before you go to sleep
Not really like now I'm I'm more conscious of like you got to do it
I'm at the bar and I'm like, all right. I'm pretty banged up or something like I'll just start jogging waters
Yeah
Like not not like an insane amount, but like, you know, keep it clean keep it clean
I don't even know if that applies to I have no idea why I said that me either. It's fire though. Yeah, keep it clean
I think we can wrap this up. Um, yeah
The fuck was that noise? I thought someone's phone was ringing. Anyway, uh, dany, where can they find you at dany lupriori on twitter in instagram
guys, uh
I just started doing twitch
So if you have a twitch account, definitely go check that out twitch.tv slash joe sanagato go follow or whatever the fuck
Um, do you have an idea? Maybe when you might be twitching again, uh, like monday. Oh monday and wednesday
I'm gonna try and do those days right now fortnight
Well, yeah fortnight call duty. She liked that. Um, I don't just hang out just like talk. There's a live chat come through follow
I'm always in the chat room too. So come hang out with me too. Um, fucking
What was I gonna say also the merch store? Uh, there's baseman yard merch. There's other merch that I've made
Uh, the sanagatos store.com
Uh, check that out. But yeah, that is all. Thanks for listening. See you later. Yeah, motherfuckers