The Basement Yard - Living With A Possible Murderer

Episode Date: June 12, 2017

On this episode, I have @GregDybec & @KeithSantagato on. Greg tells us a story about how a friend of his was living with a strange woman. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard today. Have two returning guests Greg and Keith are here Keith's hair is a little more moist like Organized I'd say this week. I couldn't tell you how many people tweeted me. We're like, what's going on? Oh, yeah, that last one. I think you just didn't give actually no I think that was a video that you did with me. Yeah, that's what it was What'd you say? Yeah, it was last week He was rock bottom at that point. No, yeah, I'm already there too. I'm still there

We haven't hung out since I think the last time we did this podcast Together, yeah, it's been a while Keith's a hermit crab. He doesn't come out of the house. So Craig you were slacking. I don't understand like You were slacking it's not me and him. No, I haven't hung out with you either. Yeah It's nice to catch up. Anyway, did you see what uh what happened today with Kathy Griffin? What? Do you have no idea literally? No, you guys know oh wait. Yeah, they know what you do. She got fired. Oh, wait Doesn't she she's a comedian you can't really get fired from that the beheading Yeah, I did so look she posted this didn't let her go or some shit. Who's they she doesn't work for like fox

Not something happened with her I'm about to tell you so she had a photo shoot and she took this picture. Yeah, what a fucking joke For those of you who can't see it's a picture of her Uh staring into the lens and holding up a bloodied trump head like a Literally it looks like donald trump like she killed him like she beheaded him

Heavy that's heavy. What the fuck are you doing? Is that crossing a line? That is Is that crossing a line? First of all, I'm sure a lot of people love that Don't isn't that like treason or some shit like I get you're not like a fan if it was really him I mean, yeah, I know that But I'm saying like it's a free country. Yeah, I was gonna say shouldn't she at least be like thrown to the back room of a airport security something and to get you know what I mean, yeah do something I feel like I don't know. This is kind of crazy if she was like, uh

Like fat guy and her moms or his mom's basement like yeah, he'd maybe like they'd shoot him the feds would be knocking out the door But think about if someone in another country did this, isn't that You know what I mean? Yeah, we'd we'd hate that person. Yeah, or we'd tried immediately to kill them They'd be like public enemy number one And fucking can't like try that shit in north korea or do you know what she said too? She's like she did the the fucking classic comedian whenever they get in trouble for shit She was like as a comedian. I like to push boundaries And then cross them is what she said. She likes to push them and then cross them. Yeah, it's art

At the end of the day, I mean get away with anything. Well, I don't even push and cross over her rights What was the point of this photo shoot anyway? I think everyone's making a statement about trump and she was like Fuck it. I'm gonna make the definitive statement against trump Yeah, but I like Like who's gonna top that now man. No like tweet about trump is gonna top that No, it's not but like she just won she just won For all celebs

Or lost like I think fucking I don't know. She's was that in a magazine or something or did she just put that out herself? That's the thing like I feel like famous people just have photo shoots all the time I have no idea why even like people who do Fucking youtube or or instagram or whatever. They have photo shoots every three days It's like their sister taking their picture. That's that's too much work. I couldn't do that That's like it's so that is the weirdest thing to me too like those people in la like these youtubers They have all these candid

Photographs with like really nice cameras in the middle of a coffee shop for no fucking reason I'm like who is taking this picture to get four likes following you around I don't understand. It makes no sense. This makes no fucking sense. This i'm guaranteeing had no I mean, I have no idea that was in her basement I don't even know why She did this. Oh, wow. She did get fired. Keith. I told you bro. They fired her more CNN. I didn't know she worked there. Wait, what? How do you let her go? What did she do at CNN? What did she do at CNN? Who fucking knows? I haven't heard Kathy Griffin. She like an intern there in the fucking years

She might have like um first and she's begging for forgiveness by the way I just don't she apologized. She's very she's apologetic. Yes. She is she said I beg for your forgiveness I went too far. See don't apologize. I made a mistake. Oh here goes my volume at that point Yeah, like you've crossed the line so much just go with it. Dude. Sorry. I didn't mean uh for that to happen What it really wasn't him. It was somebody else I'm a comic I crossed the line. I moved the line then I cross it. I went way too far the image is too disturbing To you now it's disturbing

I guess if like kids see it and they're like, uh, that's our president. That's why I have parental control On your aol account This is kind of windows 95 Fucking Kathy Griffin woman's nuts Um, so now I gotta stare at that the whole fucking day. Yeah, we're gonna leave this up Can you guys see this by the way? I feel like everyone should that is pretty gruesome No, it is very gruesome because it's a lot of blood and it looks real by the way It actually looks real. I feel like a kendall head. It's a fucking real head. It's a real clean cut like there is no next

Showing. Oh, there is no neck. There's no meat. It's a clean cut. There's a clean cut This is this is like was that a katana? This was done with like a paper cutter Let's reference back to the last time we were together talking about Period blood stories. That's what I look like Afterwards. No, wait. It was on your face. No, no. No. Yeah the second time Don't embellish it. I mean my head was still attached to my body But my face looked like that and you smile period blood get in your hair and forehead. What were you doing down there? My face was stained. Were you like circling? Yeah, it was dark

I thought it was the good kind of way. Did you hit her femoral artery? Like I don't understand Yeah, we talked about this last time, but did her eight or first? It was similar to that You cut her jugular with your tongue. What happened? Did you have a tongue ring on? No, but in all seriousness like It wasn't on your forehead All right, like it was on my nose. It was on my cheeks. It was on your cheeks. Yeah, it was like stained It was stained. Yeah, I'm not lying. It's blood dude teeth teeth tongue. Yeah, I had to be on your lucky had fun dip keys don't ruin fun dip. I just did sorry

Yeah, we should replace that head with uh crash bandicoots, uh Thing that followed them around that said hunamaka. Whatever it said. What the hell are you talking about? Just look better. You're alienating a lot of viewers right now with your niche comments You're alienating a lot of viewers. Um, by the way, another thing I wanted to talk to you guys about is a hot new trend Can we get like a sound effect a hot new trend? Have something like but uh flames in the background. Yeah, uh Male rompers are coming into style and I will never buy one. I'm gonna buy you one

And I will burn it. That was a few weeks ago. Are they actually in style or was it like Was it a funny joke for a week? Is anyone actually going out and buying these? I wouldn't be surprised Yeah, I think that it's gonna happen around the 4th of july. It's gonna be like a fidget spinner craze. Hear me out here Okay, fidget. Well, we'll get the fidget spinner But hear me out here with the rompers, right? No one's gonna do it now because twitter had its fun and was like Fuck this shit. It's stupid Like I did but when the 4th of july comes around Someone's gonna like a lot of people are gonna wear them because it's like oh the 4th of july romper

It's got the american flag and no one's gonna say shit because everyone's like america but So it's like finding an excuse to get one cloth on your body. You're not going anywhere. Well, halloween. Look at halloween Everyone's gonna be like i'm the romper guy And then they're gonna wear that shit all the time after it's gonna be quicker than that People are gonna wear the romper on 4th of july and then two weeks after that everyone's got one pastel colors and shit I don't see it happening. I don't see it happening. Male lace shorts What lace see through fucking gowns like see through like see through like you have to wear compression shorts

lace I do love going on By the way that clinking is uh There's bullets in a Whiskey glass because it's cool. If only you were drinking bullet bourbon I ran out of bullet You should have told me how to bought you, you know, it's also kind of concerning that a lot of people have been tweeting me

Telling me that I drink a lot, which I don't know if I do Kind of make me go do I that's aggressive. Not that they don't not that they would know But then it just kind of made me go do what Mike? No, you're just posting about it too much. I but I don't that's the thing you're crossing boundaries, buddy I think so. I don't know you're a comedian better watch the anyway back to these rompers My biggest concern was that I was gonna walk into like I was gonna be at a fucking yanky game and then Walk into the bathroom and dudes are at the funeral ass fucking naked because they're wearing rompers Like I don't need to relive that again. I had it in elementary school

Yeah, do you have to go into a stall or if you just have no shame? Well, they don't have like a flap that just comes down So it's like that. I don't know Is that a technically a romper then? Or is that just like a onesie like just a dick flat Just a dick flat and they probably have an ass flat too Yeah, but who's the ass flap like you're gonna sit down and take a shit. Yeah, right at the right angle flap this thing now Yo, you miss by two degrees and then you have to re-flap it which is hard

You might have to like what if someone needs to help you if you can't get it Also, if you're the fuck is re-flapping you answer me this if there's an ass flap And you have to open it Doesn't it dangle then like if you're taking a dump. It's in the water now. There's got to be like velcro Like yeah, like it just comes off it can't be No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Yeah Romper and ass was chaps. There you go. But uh, no, it probably goes off to the side

So that it's like hanging off the side of the ball If it even touches the ball. That's this is a million dollar idea I don't think they're gonna. Are you one of those people? Don't fucking steal it. Are you one of those people that makes a makeshift toilet seat out of toilet paper? Yeah, you have to oh my no. No, I don't do that I take the risk every day to take the risk. Here's the thing I don't like actual piece like skin to porcelain contact every time skin to porcelain. Is there an actual risk boost your moon system What is the risk?

Are you sitting on a disease? I've heard STDs. I heard that like you get it I've always wanted on your ass cheeks Who's rubbing their ass holes on the fucking I've heard girls say this But that's probably just an excuse for them having an STD and saying like I got it from Sitting on the toilet. You've never heard a girl say that. I have I swear to God a girl told you I got an STD from sitting on a toilet bowl a friend of a girl I said you know what that means. She that means she thinks you're fucking stupid because there is no way unless she is rubbing banging this she's just she's just like

One foot in the bowl one foot on the ground and just rubbing her shit It up on the edge of the seat. Maybe with no other way certain centimeters. It's airborne or something You're close enough STDs are jumping from the seat to the badge. Is that what you're telling me now? Well, then We're going down then only like a small space. I don't think so So I these things are athletic and they can jump around now. I don't like sitting. I don't I don't like Going I don't like taking dumps in public restrooms at all I mean now I don't really care like I still don't like doing it

But I'm just not like like cuz growing up you're like really scared to tell people that you take a shit Like it's a secret like no one knows and then you get older and you love telling people that's all you tell Yeah, like I just took a shit or I am about to take about you've never like I've heard of somebody that Squats like air squats over the toilet. That's what I thought you're gonna say you girls hover No, no, no, I know a guy that a guy hovers I've never seen him sit down and take that disease like a man So you don't put anything down you just I mean sometimes it depends where I am if I mean like in a bar Oh, I'm in Penn station. I gotta get a hazmat

You kidding me and station who's gonna take a shit in Penn station I'd rather shit on the floor than shit on the toilet shit on the toilet shit in the toilet Yeah, a Penn station bathroom. I'd rather sit in blood No, I don't know I Never did but I was when I was younger though This kind of ties into the whole romper thing too because when you would walk into the bathroom in elementary school Which is when I was like at my peak of being scared to shit because I would never shit in school unless I was like It's about to be a situation like it's third period. I'm not that's like a thing in school

Like you would rather like go home sick like go to the nurse and go home sick to shit than actually shit in school But you would walk in and there would be at least one kid with his pants at his ankles And like shirt hot like why are you picking up your shirt the same kid who like has a roly-backpack too, right? And he's spray-pissing in two unerals. Yeah, like he's going back and forth. No, they probably hit all You could run down a line pee in all the urinals. Yeah, and then shit in the last one Were you ever one of the kids that would ball up? Oh, the water toilet paper and throw it against the ceiling. Yeah Brown napkins that are always in fucking

Would you ever like throw them against the ceiling? I do that most by the way I never used I never used the soap in elementary school You know why cuz the kids you're disgusting shut the fuck up the kids used to pee Into the fucking soap dispenser. How can you pee into the soap dispenser? Isn't it like metal? Yeah, but it opens you just have to press a certain button and it comes down. Isn't it high where they stand it on the sinks They're standing on the sinks. Yeah, and peeing into them You know, this is my school go harder go home Joe This is innovation is what it is. That sounds like a rumor that you fell for. No, it's not

No wonder you had so many buddy noses you're fucking not washing your hands in there kids are Pissing all over the place And what was that about because first of all, I don't know why but I don't know how school is outside of New York City But the school that I went to an elementary school one toilet and and three urinals were always gushing water Yeah, all over the floor There was shit dripping from the ceilings and the ceilings in our elementary school were high as fuck like 15 feet It's like there was like this much water. Yeah always always on there's just piss all over And it's like bright yellow like it looks it's

Darker than that cuz kids don't know it wasn't it wasn't like that. Here we go. Keep the kids hydrated. Yeah, the kids were hydrating It's hydrated. No, but it was the urinals were just overflowing at all times. So it was just water everywhere. I Can't even compare it to any of it was just like the ship was going down It was like the Titanic that scene where they're running through that empty Room and the old chairs are flowing around. That's literally what it was like. Yeah when the ship was sinking. Yeah The climax it was a fucking disaster And you know, my dad used to tell me cuz I would never take a shit and I told him one day. I was like, yeah, sometimes I Don't go to the bathroom there. I feel good kids used to look in while you would take a shit. What school did you go to?

We had peeping Tom's look in that's right. They would look in or just be scared that they were well There's always like whoever just designs bathroom stalls where like when you're sitting and you're just looking right out of the crack Yeah, yeah, like anyone who you have to have that because the door hinge to that's a good. Yeah, but it doesn't have it's where they position it So you want to be looking to what turn around? What what are you talking about? Like if the toilet was like a little more to the left like you wouldn't be able to stare out Oh, right. Right. But like whoever designed these bathrooms. It's like a practical joke that probably just want to see everybody should I guess Yeah, it's probably a creep. Why not just make it to the floor. I don't understand that

I'm talking about even just like no, I know you're talking about the crack Well, what if you're locked in where you make it out? Do you know I know some people that hang a piece of toilet paper over the front of it so that you can't see that's that's it I would I would I would like that on at this point. I don't care who sees my dick So if they want to look hard enough like you earned it you earned it Take it in fucking put your face up against the door Jesus Christ, but also Yeah, also with the romper what if it's an emergency? I feel like it would take a while

Yeah, you got a strip you got a strip down cuz like I'm one of those people where like I'm fine and then it just We don't know. Is it buttoned in the back? Yeah, like is it like a one-piece thing? Yeah, it's one. It's one. I know it Where is the mechanism? I don't know Because if it is in the back stumble Then then what what you need to take your friend to the bathroom like do I need you to undo me? Yeah, it's like girls with prom dresses or something hold my air. I just turned on my computer see Kathy Griffin just fucking head male rompers Let me look here, okay, they already got tons of stuff here

No, I mean it so the The front What was that the front has it's like a like a like a so it's but it's like a button down But it buns down to what the waist to the way you have to like and then you have to you know Take it off like a dress. So Slowly, I think so. Yeah, how do you shit in one of those? It's gonna be like dragging on the floor. It probably comes with its own depend It's gotta come with like its own hanger. So you're gonna hang out. You have to like stalled. You have to fully take that thing off

You just was wearing these fucking like this It comes right off By the way, all the people I see wearing these are people I would never want to hang out I throw like fratty dudes at the Kentucky Derby. Hmm. They look happy though Yeah, they look like they all because they're comfortable Sucked each other's dicks as a joke. I'm just kidding, dude Doesn't count if it's a joke We always talk about bathrooms on this show. Oh, it's a staple here like shit

We always talk about shit. My family. We always talk. They should be called the bathroom yard the bathroom You know the bathroom stall. I was with boom. Do you remember when I was with you? And we are driving in New York City after basketball and we're on like a busy road or like a main Avenue and Like everything's fine. And then he just goes I have to shit. He's like, I'm not making it home I have to shit wait backtrack. So I said earlier while we're driving. I know that's normal Great, I didn't even know Greg that this well barely barely knew him I just knew he worked at the same place that I did and there's this fucking idiot in the back seat No, no, no, but those guys in the back seat and I'm I start cold sweating and Greg's like, what's wrong?

I was like, I have to shit and as soon as I said that God started playing tricks on me. You put it in your head. We hit every red light Right, and then I remember driving down a street and a truck just backed out of this random driveway And I'm like, oh my had a sign Immediate accident right here like yeah close the road Construction literally red light. So now we're driving and then we're in this like three lane Street in Manhattan and we're in the like the middle lane and then we're at a light and I'm like, I'm gonna shit myself So I didn't even know these people in the car

I threw it into park put my hazards on looked at Greg and I was like you got it Yeah, got out and ran into some random building. That was it I hate when you run into a rest. No, you gotta buy something. You gotta buy something. I was like, I'll buy the whole shit But it's like one of those places where like you got to sit down wait for the person to give you a menu Like I really have that much fucking time now. Yeah, no, it's like dude. I'll buy a fucking yeah Give me some surf and turf. Can I go to the fucking bathroom now? I got you gotta go you just you find a way. Yeah, I'd like to fuck you you to come catch it. Yeah, cuz

You're gonna have to come catch it. I'm gonna kick the fucking door down It's either I you let me shit or I'm shitting on you do but when I walked into that building I was like a residential building. I think and I walked up to the guy I was like, dude, you guys have a bathroom and he was all like the panic and like the sweating that I was doing and he was like Yeah, it's over there like it was like he wasn't supposed to say he's like yeah, it's over there Yeah, and when I walked in there There was a maid like cleaning and I was like you got to get the fuck out of here that happened to me the other You can clean after trust me. Yeah

Whatever you're doing you're gonna have to redo it like yeah Dude, I was on a journey the other day. I was on the train Stuck in train traffic and then it hit me and once it's in your head. It's over I was actually considering coming here. It was like 8 30 in the morning I was like I might transfer trains and like go to Joe's quick, but I waited gotten to the city got out Tried to go to Bloomingdale's wasn't open yet. So I'm running limping down the street I'm like three minutes away from like it's just over like I would have given up Let it happen and just like curled up

My I'm gonna get the rest of your life on the street like you're homeless and that's it. Yeah, no I would have never talked to my family No, you've never No, oh, yeah, I've shit mine and played it off that nothing happened. Okay. I didn't do that. That's that's psychotic I guess that fucking happened and I'm not going home. This is a great time. We're out Anyway, I make it to a McDonald's. I'm like, is there a bathroom here? They're like upstairs barely make it up the stairs going as fast as I can Yeah, I've been step foot in McDonald's in like 14 years, but that was the only option

Walk into the men's room and there's just a woman cleaning and I'm like, I really have to go and then she goes Pee-pee or poo-poo like she actually asked and you're like lady. I got a shit like that one And I and she's like, okay go so I'm in the stall and she's not leaving the bathroom And I'm just like well, I waited like two seconds. I was like I gotta go so I just started going and she walked Wait, hold on number three What that's there's only two Isn't that like I thought it was like universal for that's a diarrhea

No, that's your rule. I guess a number three. Yeah No, because I said that in my latest video Meaning like I diaried in my pants is diarrhea to avert So that's also something you've made yes, but now people are saying to me that it means Combed in your pants number three means what you came in your pants. Oh By the way, you just had come yeah, I think you've made a three words in the span of 40 seconds. It's crazy Real quick before we go any further, let's do the sponsors real quick We got two today the first one my mom's favorite, you know it blue apron the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country

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Like doesn't every and it's like a room key. It's like it has a key chain. It has like the big wooden thing Just a case. I lost it Why is it like what is this fucking first grade? Yeah, but I feel like she goes down. I just break on it for she goes down in gas station bathrooms So let it go down deals Glory holes, I think every every hole in a gas. I think every gas I never have in person have you seen a glory hole don't answer that because I probably would have run right out of glory hole I don't know. Do they actually exist?

Yeah, they probably I'm not I'm sure they're not mythical thing I'm sure and do people just like take shifts on the like is there a glory hole out there that someone's always manning like ready to go I think I Feel like I think that's interesting because who's behind the wall. I feel like there's more. I feel like it's more European that Yeah, yeah, it's very you know, I think that's way more European is you're very sexually Did you see that in America? They're just like what what is going on here? It's like a dickhole Basically, but if you came across one, what would you do? Do you like a finger in there? No, I honestly I would have to stay for a second get an STD

Is it dick about like put your ear up to it? Excuse me No, I just like throw it throw a dollar something like paper towel Throw a dollar through it be like sir, I don't want to see your dick. No you stick your dick in it Oh, no, that's something. Yeah, I'm saying you're in the bathroom and you go into the you reverse the rule Oh, but then you're like you're the one who has to do the work Yeah, now you're the you're suddenly the glory hole work here like you just picked up a shift Wait, who's working? Is it the people?

Okay, my Yeah, we are I'm talking about just walking into a bathroom I've been like, oh my god, that's a glory hole and then like three seconds later dick pops out Wow, but what are you obligated at that point? No, you're not obligated. I'm pretty sure it's not like an American kind of voluntary like I almost just got really dark with it. I'm not even gonna go there You said that because you wanted to go there. I did but it's just really like my mind is this weird shit right now Like what if like let's not let him say like you know if you could keep going Like you had like it likes like you know like a serial killer goes on like a whatever sprees some guy just goes into glory holes

Who's dick's coming? He just chops them off choppings free. I'm sure that's happened before. Yeah Gotta cut a dick off Put your dick through a hole and now it's not there anymore. Well, I think the traditional what is going through your mind The traditional glory hole. I feel like there's someone Because you're walking into like a bathroom or something So there's someone on the other side of the wall waiting for a dick to come there Like you see a glory. I think it's the other way. No, it is joy I think people go into bathrooms waiting for dicks to come out of the walls

See look there there. Yes, I'll give you I think if you see then there's other situations Where you get in there and you just have no idea that a dick is just gonna fly because I feel like the real dilemma is like Fuck, there's a glory hole there. Yeah, sure. I like shit. What are my odds? Like do I if I stick it in? I don't it could be magical. It could not be I don't this is the thing though I think you got it fucked up because I don't think you just stumble upon a Glory hole and you get to put your dick in it and then get your dick suck. I think you do But you don't know you lose on the other side for that. I think that's the risk You take there's a special list like you need to be VIP you gotta be on that

No, no, no, you need to get like to be on that side of the wall. You gotta be on the dick list You could yeah, you gotta be on that dick list. Yeah, cuz the public is on the sucking list Like that's for anyone. I don't but if you're on the good side pay extra. You're in the box with the person See, I think the whole point of the glory hole is like it It's a conundrum for the person because you can stick it in but you don't know what you're getting or you could It's whatever you imagine on the other side an animal like something is gonna happen to your dick Or you'll never know or nothing But you have to pay curiosity a lot of people would succumb to that you have to pay succumb

That was a smart. There's no free glory holes. Is there yeah, I thought they were all free because the person on the other side They're like water fountains. They're making money off of these holes. No one's making money. No, no, I think they're money holes No one's making money off of these. I think it's just like having a rough day Like here's your right. That might as well put my dick. I could be like a 40 year old stall guy or a question You stick your dick through a glory hole, right? Yeah, how long before it? How long do you wait until you know I'm doing it? No one's coming Yeah, probably as long as it took like n64 to load back in the day like a proper like eight minutes

Now was never that long minutes two minutes tops two minutes You're gonna stand there fucking place you stick you're gonna stand You're gonna put your dick through a hole that you don't know what is behind it for eight minutes. I Mean if I'm crazy enough to stick my dick through a hole I think I'm crazy enough to wait. I imagine it would have a little eight minutes I'm a patient guy Keith. You got a phone. You can play a game You could play a tweet you could play a game a battlefield one Yeah, eight minutes. That's a long fucking time. Well the payoff is large maybe it but it couldn't be also

No, yeah, it couldn't be you could just get a foot. Just stop it out. Yeah Like buddy, I'm trying to take a shit get that out of here Or the point of glory holes is that someone made it? No one's ever gonna be on the other side you stick it in to find out nothing happens And then you have to live the rest of your life like I've stuck my dick I did it like I put my dick in the glory hole. I you know what now that you said that I feel like I would I feel like if I came across No, I don't feel like I would but with the I definitely wouldn't I'd be like, okay. Where's the stall without a hole? Here's the thing where I'm here's where I'm going with this. I'm saying if I'm sticking my dick through a glory hole

It'll be for a second just to say I did like I would brag about it. Okay. I'd like you I put my dick in a Immediately sterilize my dick afterwards Why cuz you know how many dicks are going in and out of that whole joke argument about the toilet. Yeah Well made up your dick is on it. Yeah, this is closer This is different your balls are hidden it sometimes who knows How many glory holes have you participated? Keith can fit his dick and his balls through a glory hole. I think I definitely could only the tip You could definitely do that what never mind. I'm not putting my balls through a glory hole. You're out of your mind

I Think anyone's done that Imagine she's like sir, that's extra Person on the other side's like this is just balls No, we're doing we're doing balls only with this. It's a big hole for a reason half-off balls only Every Tuesday We really have got to stop talking about glory holes because this is gonna turn it. Yeah, this came out of nowhere

Catching is gonna be it's gonna be trump heads and glory holes. That's what he called I think this is this an untapped thing glory holes. I might have to do a whole video I want to go on like a tour of America to find them There should be if you want a photo album like a photo book of that being completely honest from what I've seen in I've saw a movie. It might get this movie was it man That's art. Do you think they do you think somebody? I think hawn think it's somebody's job To clean these glory holes No, like like they just have a glory hole business and this guy has to go around and clean these holes

Do you want my honest answer because you know, they do have a guy that picks up party parties and shit So every glory hole is a rogue. It's rogue. It's like a rogue. Yeah, this isn't a business This isn't come with the bathroom. It could be it could be an underground business. We don't know. I Think I'm pretty confident I do think that glory holes are like prevalent in like gay bathrooms Uh like put there intentionally at like crazy like sex clubs and stuff like that. Yeah movie. I was watching It was I think Vince Vaughn is in it and there's a glory hole and the dude puts his dick through and I was like Eight if fucking a foot long. I was like, holy shit this guy

But I think it's like prevalent in like gay clubs that they got him imagine that Imagine that that would be like you walk into a like you're in a bar You go in the bathroom and then just tits come out of the wall. See like this place is great Great. Yep review. Yeah, they know how to party Yeah, that would have been great. Dick's coming out of the walls. There's drinks I mean, it depends on your preference. Everyone's on grinder. It's a lot easier. Yeah That's a fact. I had a conversation with a gay dude once and he told me he's like, you know I like as a straight guy you think about sex all the time. I'm like, yeah, and he's like

We're all dudes. So we're all thinking about it and we all are like down. I was like, that's a yeah Yeah, how easy that would be. I was like, I get it now, you know, that's why grinder It's kind of just like two people the mentality of a guy. It's over. It's over in seconds There's basically no masturbation going on ever now straight up sex life's just a glory hole for you It's just like Life is a glory hole You're gonna do this to cross it off your bucket list. I'm not no no I wouldn't I want to find one. I definitely want to find one. I want to like

Put it on my Instagram story Boomerang it first of all the one down the block has private viewing booths. I don't know what that means Yeah, that's a glory. It's probably like a bulletproof glass glory hole. Yeah, I don't know what's going on there Anyway Let's move on to this topic Greg has a story here that I think the people need to hear very recent very recent very recent story And it doesn't involve me really I mean or glory holes. I'm not the victim of it this time All right, which is good. No Keith never heard this story. I got a little bit of it. I didn't get all the details

What is the theme around there? I don't know what is the theme around what like this story? Like what is what is it? It's just psychotic. It's just like how does this happen? Yeah, I think it's just insane Yeah, just that just just start from the beginning here. All right, we won't use anyone's name. Yeah, you start I got I got changed some names change the setting a little Okay, so the place that I go to every day to do some work There's a bunch of people and we're all working on things so Relax, you're not gonna get fired. Okay, there's two people who live in the apartment. Okay, one of them works out of the apartment the other kid Doesn't work with us. So he like has to leave and go to his job every day. Okay, you got the I got you painted the picture. Yes

So this kid He Was his birthday recently and he goes out. So goes to the club You know does what guys try to do Obviously ends up with nothing Because it's not a gay club, right that would have been easy Yeah But actually

Let me let me backtrack because the way we found out it's even funnier. So all we know is he went out Okay, and I was there till like 3 a.m. Because we're just we're working on stuff It's a solid night and he wasn't even back by the time I left. So that's it next morning Everyone wakes up starts working his roommate who you know works there Sitting down we get there out of nowhere This girl walks out booty shorts good-looking. She just starts cleaning the dishes What we're just like sitting sitting at a table

Like actually working and she's just like pouring coffee doing the dishes. She's like what are you guys coffee was she? Oh, she made herself at home right away. She was poor. Did she she was really familiar She found food in the fridge like ate it home Like she's eating the food out of the fridge. So imagine this is like 9 a.m. 9 a.m. And and the kid you work with lives there. So he lives there So he's like sitting at the table and like tired probably went to bed at like 5 a.m. And just like looks up and there's just this girl Like in in his kitchen in front of him and she's like, oh, hey, what are you working on?

What are you doing? So he's just like in his mind dude like hon hon There's because we have another friend who like I don't know how he does it like he'll take home a girl every night He's just he's a savage just ruthless takes as many Chats as he can cuz you're eventually gonna make one, but he was sleeping. He was on the couch So she wasn't with him. So it's like, okay, you're not with him Like that means you're only with one other person the kid who never really brings anyone home So she's like Basically like she sits down on the couch. She's eating. She's just like that's it and we're like were you like

Did you come back with this kid? I almost said his name and she's like, yeah So he gets up They leave together and that's it. So we don't know anything So throughout the day, we're like getting information from him like yeah, who's this girl? Well, what are you doing? And he goes, yeah We left the club and we went to artichoke pizza It was 4 a.m. And this girl was sitting there on her laptop using the Wi-Fi and doing work So he's like, I'm gonna take a shot at this. This is my last chance

Goes up to her probably says the dumbest thing that you could think of and Apparently immediately. She's like, yeah, okay. Let's go back to your place and just goes right back to him With him. Did you steal anything? Well So then We have theories going around we're like, okay, like this girl's good-looking. She's very comfortable She went home with this kid 4 a.m. On her laptop at a pizza like this is weird so the two of them come home later like maybe like 5 5 30 and

This is my first time meeting her because I didn't see her in the morning So she just walks in she's like, oh, hey, what's up? Don't mind me. I'm just gonna brush my teeth and just pulls out a toothbrush and just starts brushing her teeth around the apartment Pulls out food like connects to the Wi-Fi Like just having a grand old time She's at a hotel. This is like the fucking yeah, and this kid's just sleeping in the room So they went in his room for a little and then she came out after and he was sleeping So I'm like, okay good for him. You know, he's getting it

But I was like there they weren't in there for that long, but alright, whatever so then He wakes up and this was like another late night. So like everyone comes back. It's like maybe like 10 p.m. and She's in his room and he comes out and we're like dude like what are you doing like good for you But like who is she why she here and he's just like this is so confusing. He's like she's slept over. Yeah Yeah, it was how many days this is now the second day Oh, okay, and he looks at us with this face just so confused and he's like Like nothing happened yet. She won't have sex with me

so he never had never had sex and Is just like using him. So I feel I feel terrible I'm like walking by your bag and there's this like Like envelopes sticking out and it has her name and it has an address for Florida So I'm like work. It was I Wasn't trying but I I saw it

You were fucking looking I would have dug through the whole shit Mind you this bag is like the size that's like my body like it's huge So it's like what is this girl doing at a pizza place on her laptop for a m? Here not having sex she killed a man gone girl. Have you seen it? Yes? Dude when she bathed in that guy's blood. Yeah, we're just thinking the world that's what Greg knows about So with a Florida address Not having sex with this kid. So we were joking earlier like oh, she's just using him She needed a place to stay. Yeah, there's a toothbrush with her. She said she lost her phone. So now we're like this girl

Legitimately might have killed a person. Yeah, or just is using Whatever she did and it's just using this poor kid who still thinks he has a chance to this day. Yeah, well Thinks that he has a chance and is just so comfortable so She's like, oh, I'm gonna go out and meet my friend and This kid's like, okay, I'll go with you She clearly didn't want him to go but this is like all this kid has is like he has a one last shot Right, so he's like, oh, I'm gonna come. She's like, okay. Hurry up. So they leave and We realized she logged into one of our computers earlier to like

Show someone like a song or something like that. Yeah, and she signed in she showed Another kid her sister on Facebook. So this is where like we've come detectives. Yes So we have a last name and then we have her login, right on two separate computers So they leave and we're like, okay, like this is scary Like she's either gonna steal everything in this apartment murder us when she gets back or she murdered someone and she's here The FBI is looking for doesn't have a phone. Yeah and So we're like, all right, we gotta we got do some digging on this girl. So

we look at her we get her name from like what she signed in on and We put it or we get that name. We're looking at it and then the other kids like wait She showed me her sister before and it was a different last name. So we're like, that's weird number one and then We put her name into Facebook She popped up pops up next to a guy married

Says married from Florida Yeah, oh and then we click on that guys Page and like find their Instagram and everything and it's like them together like clearly married They have an adopted black baby just to throw that in the mix Yeah, they must be like they're like that type of white people who like adopt black babies Because we click we found we got deep. We found her husband's sister Who was married you and they and they walked by her bag and we went on sistery.com

Yeah, turns out she's eight percent Navajo Well, her husband's sister her family also has like three black babies. So they're just like, oh, yeah Yeah, they're just collecting these things bracket bracket style and Yeah, so we're like This girl is married And she definitely didn't lose her phone. She ran away her husband either like Broke it or she threw it away. She ran away. This guy's fucking dead for all we know or you know, whatever

So we call the kid that our friend was with at the club the night before And he's like, oh, yeah, this girl was saying something about how she um like Stopped talking to the guy that she's like been with for 11 years Oh, yeah, she was like 30 something Oh Yeah, and he's like 25 maybe so

Yeah, so this girl this was like Just I don't know gone. She she did some gone girl shit. So we start. She's still here Well, so we start texting him like screenshots and everything and we're like bro of all the info get out of there Yeah, so he thinks He's out there. He thinks that he has a chance. He's like, all right tonight's gonna be the night No, it's not shy. Yeah, and we're like black baby on the run Florida get out of there like we're actually concerned for this kid Because you don't want something to happen

Oh, and she left her shit there. So she clearly planned on coming back Her giant bag was still in the living room. She was planning on just living there. So I was always yeah So we see this thing and we're like, well, we don't want to be here when she comes back Like that that could be the end dude There would have been the easiest decision on my life to go through this bag Easiest decision. Yeah, I would have done it Someone almost did but I don't know. We got scared because her laptop was in there and stuff too. Oh, we found some random website

We like registered for we're like You registered for a website seeing if she had like arrest records That's Imagine great. You definitely looked all of us up. You should have filmed all this. This could have been like the catfish movie Yeah, we Man she had a record. I know or we put her in like a missing person's like database Yeah, she didn't pop up, but we found her Her address came up and we like google mapped her like we saw her house where she lived

It got deep. What sign is she? What else you got? What's the last form of her social? She's oh negative how much she got in her bank accounts. We know that So probably not much because she's just she's no madding and well what she said was she was Going out to meet her sister who lived in the city But why wasn't she staying with her sister because that's where the husband would look Either she murdered It's turned into a game of clue to get murdered and I know you love this kind of shit too. Like this is your

Detective work is your favorite there. We'd know everything. Yeah, you're good. You're you are good I would pull up her. He would have went through her bag head first. Oh, I would have went through her bag like No, and I didn't put it not even put it back. Just left it out. I would just have to open when she walked Like who went through my bag? I'd like I did I wanted to know you're married first of all if I live there We thought about messaging him on facebook, but we're like we don't want Him to like show up here with a fucking like saw it off shotgun thinking do you know what I would have done though? If that was me and a girl just Walked out of some room here and was just like yeah, I'm gonna do this whatever I'd be like

Who the fuck are you like I I'd literally say that. How do you let that go? Just make herself that comfortable, right? Yeah, yeah I would be like not even I'd be like who are you at first I'd be like, oh wow Okay, my friend brought a girl back without telling me. I wish he fucking told me but whatever actually he lives there So it's like whatever but then I would be like, hey Who the fuck is this person in our home just eating our shit? Yeah And you just don't ask that eating weird like she found like

Uh like stick of salami that had been there for like months. She's just cutting it up and like loving life Brushing her teeth. I don't even know if she used his toothbrush or she just carries one around. Oh, that's how you get an std That's more dangerous than the glory hole. Well, she ended up coming back that night How many nights did she stay there? So now this is the second night because her bag and everything is there. This is the whole vacation Yeah, and we told this kid like get out of there Like you might die like you might die tonight. You might like slit your throat

In your sleep and take your shit and go find someone else Out it started interviewing friends like hey, yeah I don't know his judgment's so clouded by just trying to get laid That we're telling him she's married with a black baby run And he's just not listening so he brings her home that night. Luckily like super late So none of us were up and then The other kid who lives there messaged him like

Get this girl out like she can't be here tomorrow. Like we have too much work to do. She can't be like Like you know like sitting down next to us at the table and You know making coffee and watching movies and everything all day because she clearly has no place to go So This is where it gets tricky and because he denies this well So now we start making fun of him Because we're like you just let a girl live with you for two days not just like sleepover like live with you

Right Like oh She started doing the laundry the first time she came home when she was brushing her teeth She's just like any laundry around here. I'll start doing it and she starts picking up all the dirty clothes all over and it's just doing the laundry This is the nicest murder I've ever heard of. Yeah, just trying to contribute where she can so that next morning The other kid who lives there is like get her out like and it's like really like that kid's apartment

I mean, you know, right about so he's like Like stop fucking around get her out So he kicks her out in the morning and there's a kid sleeping on the couch that apparently saw it all go down And he was like, yeah, you have to go. You can't stay here anymore And she was pissed and she's like why not like I want to stay here. We're having a good time No, we're not and then he's like you really have to go And she's like, okay. Well, can I have socks? I don't have any socks And he says no and she goes but I washed them

And then she said no and she just left so She's gone We're all there. He goes to work Then he comes home and we're like is the gypsy gone finally like you're lucky. You're still alive And and he's like he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I had sex with her last night It's all good and then I kicked her out and we're like no you didn't Because and I mean tell me like you go two days With this girl that just won't have sex with you

But you're letting her live with you do everything and then the moment you do have sex with her You're gonna just kick her out and not give her socks. No shot. No shot. Maybe he And never mind. It's not gonna work. He he definitely he would have gave her socks at least Exactly any guy any guy would have given socks you you give socks I probably would have given socks anyway just for good measure like here's some socks So you don't fucking kill me in my sleep in a couple months. You know where I live now These are a good pair of these are good pair of thermal Dude, fuck that. I would have been so scared of her. I would have been like take money

I'll give you a hundred dollars if you want. Just get the fuck out of there. I was yeah, I But then it's illegal to you Joe. That's prostitution I didn't have sex with her. Yeah, no one has sex with her. You can't prove it And the crazy thing is she's probably doing this to another guy right now That's going through the same thing. He's probably watching honestly or listening. Yeah, she's at Joey's house Look too clean in this fucking house All the laundry is done You're housing a murderer, but yeah, it's funny because this kid was really cool about no

No, she moved into someone's on the surface see and all these other guys fell for it at first too And they're like, oh, but she's kind of cool. She's like one of the guys she did the laundry I'm like, don't fall for this shit. That's obviously she did that to me Yeah, she would have walked in and felt uncomfortable like a normal person. I would have been like, okay This is a normal person, but you're coming you're doing laundry. You're eating the salami. I feel like she's a fucking psychopath Yeah, drinking the milk out of all the signs all the signs. She might as well have been honestly That's ridiculous, which I would have thrown out everything begs the question. I mean How

How long do you give it? Like how far do you go and how much do you accommodate a person? Like obviously you want to sleep with them Dude, but what's like your cutoff limit and how do you do less than 24 hours? Yeah, but you don't have met your house for a couple of days. No, that's psychotic. It's not a hotel It's less than 24 hours. I know that it might be eight hours If it's like a one night stand type of thing, but whatever Let's leave it at that. We're gonna wrap up here Be careful out there guys. Be careful. Don't let gypsies take over your lives. All right. She was a gypsy

She was a gypsy clearly. She was a gypsy. She was a nomad. She didn't have socks No socks, but she had a toothbrush in her bag and a fucking laptop going amazon Using why pizza place wi-fi. She's really good at conning people for their house though Like if you fuckers weren't there, she'd probably still fucking be there. Oh, he'd be yeah, it'd be over Yeah, they would have been like Married without ever having sex like yeah, she would have just taken over. She's the love of my life. This is an mtv show I don't want you to know that Anyway, keith working or a true life. Um

That's an mtv show. You fucking idiot. That is true On that note you find me on uh at keith santagato at uh Posted twitter and instagram and then I have a gaming channel which is youtube slash keith santagato Please watch he needs the views he needs it desperately You can find me at gregg dybeck on whatever. Um And you could check out my book the art of living other people's lives Also, go check out our podcast called other people's lives comes out everything. Yeah, no connection thursday Yeah, it's kind of a little bit

Anyway, uh, if you guys aren't watching and you want to watch you can go to fullscreen.com slash basement yard Put in the promo code basement and you get one month Free and then it's six dollars a month after that um And that is all we're gonna Stay tuned for the extra yard when you uh sign up for full screen you get the extra yards 15 minutes 15 20 minutes or whatever Of us doing some shit. Uh, I don't really know what the fuck's going on, but we've been drinking should be interesting Uh

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