The Basement Yard - My Therapy Session

Episode Date: March 28, 2017

I'm all alone again so obviously this got serious & turned into a therapy session. Sign up to watch the show at Fullscreen.com/basementyard Promo Code: BASEMENT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. It is Monday, March 27th, and I am alone Okay, you're gonna have to deal with me. I got some shit to say in the second half of this podcast It could get weird. We don't know But it seems that every time I've set by myself and done this it's been like a fucking therapy session So we'll see but in recent news You know, I've been talking about how this podcast is gonna become video and now

it has officially been done with this platform called fullscreen and You know, you can go on their app right now and watch the first episode. They get the podcast a week early so there's Next week's podcast is up there right now on video Davino Davino's on it and

Honestly, we got a little drunk. I'll be honest we beforehand because we walked in here and There was like a bunch of people setting up cameras and whatnot and I can tell he kind of looked like he was nervous And I had beers in my fridge and Mike dude, you want to just like drink so we could kind of just Whatever take the edge off because I don't want him to be nervous on camera. I don't really give a shit honestly, but You know, I I talked to cameras like an idiot for a living So, you know, I'm a little more used to it So we started drinking whatever and then by the time like it took a little longer for them to set up than then we thought

So we had a couple beers in us before we started by the end of the show I mean even the beginning of the show. He was fucking hammered. My friends have already watched it. I showed them it They were like, yo Davino was drunk. Huh? I was like, yeah Kid was drunk Oh my god, it was crazy um But yeah, it's it's really fucking cool, man Like they have a budget like to make sets and shits. They were like, what do you want

This thing to look like because as you guys know, I I shoot this out of my Oh, well my new apartment. I have a room dedicated to just a podcasting and uh They came in here. They hung up some stuff on the walls and you know, they have tables and all this shit. So It's really cool. They have a bunch of camera angles and it's all jump cutting and shit like that. There's a trailer. It was a fucking trailer It's real professional stuff here But um, yeah, I'm really excited for people to see it. Also, there's like a Thing called the extra yard where it's like a 15 minute segment. That's more like chill It's just uh, we have a drink every week

and just kind of I don't even know. I don't even know what to tell you what that what it's that that's going to be that could morph into something But we just kind of hang out and just chit chat. It's way more relaxed There's no microphones or anything like that It's just I don't know. It's it's just cool, but that's only available exclusively On uh full screen and I know you're gonna go there and you'd be like, oh, we gotta pay for this. What the fuck? listen at the end of the day

Two things because someone tweeted me and was like, oh, I thought this was going to be for free. This is horse shit I've been bamboozled You're greedy. Why are you making us pay? Listen Okay, first of all, if you guys go and sign up Uh, I think you have to use a computer. I'm not sure. I know my friends had trouble signing up, but Uh, if you go on a computer go to fullscreen.com slash basement yard And when you sign up use the promo code basement and you get a month free and after that

You know after that when you have to start paying for it It's a whopping six dollars a month And this kid's giving me shit on twitter about six dollars a month Which comes out to around 20 cents a day Nothing you buy costs 20 cents everything is more than that You wake up and you and you you what a piece of gum is like 35 fucking cents or whatever. It's more than that

No, but I mean, you know, and then someone was like, you know, you could have just set up a camera and shot it yourself Yeah, I could but I'm doing a 10 different different things. What did I just say 10 different different things? I'm doing 10 different things and to set up a camera Three cameras, which I would have to buy two more which costs thousands of dollars by the way Uh set those up and then start editing that A fucking hour long footage on top of the videos and the other podcasts that i'm editing and fucking doing I just didn't want to do it and these guys are way more talented than I am So why wouldn't I just let them do it?

You know And they're gonna pay me. This is a no-brainer Everybody wins People have been asking for it to be on video. I'm promising you now. If I shot it myself, it would look like shit It would it would look like garbage and They just have a team of people over there that are really good at what they do It's like fuck it dude six dollars a month. It's like half of what Netflix costs or whatever

But yeah, I'm really excited for it. Honestly, and I already shot the second episode Also, and that honestly was probably my favorite Podcast to date and I'm not just saying that so you're like, oh, I better go check that. I really mean it like You and that's another thing. You don't have to do this Right, you don't have to sign up for this. I'm not telling you to do it It's not exclusively going to be on there or anything like that every monday. These are coming out for free Audio on soundcloud and itunes like always nothing changes

Okay, nothing nothing changes. This is still free It's just that you get it earlier with full screen and you get to watch it If you don't have any interest in that go fuck you. I'm not signing up. I don't care Do what you got to do. I understand It is cool and you get the extra 15 minute show whatever, but if you don't want to you don't want to whatever You know, you're still going to get these every single monday They still come out for free um

But yeah, so nothing changes like it's not like oh, it's the end of soundcloud and itunes Now we have to download this shit and pay to watch it. No, you don't have to You know, you don't you get a month free. You could watch for a month and go. All right. Fuck this. I'm done with this now The trial is over Uh, but yeah, there's a bunch of other cool shit on the platform too, but obviously not as cool as me right guys. Thank you um Also, what was the other oh the fucking Anyway, I was scrolling on facebook

Before and this live stuff. I feel like shouldn't be open to the public Because I just feel like it's it's just irresponsible. Is it even filtered? I read articles all the time of people like getting raped or like Someone's getting the shit kicked out of them on on facebook live and no one's doing anything people are just liking and commenting All dudes like it. No, like there's no filter for this We're really just gonna let anyone in the world live stream Do we care? Do we care we care about what that fucking weird kid in the back of class in high school is doing? I don't

Why are we letting them live stream? Who are you talking to? All three of these people that and then so besides that besides the random people that have two people who watch their live stream and talk about nothing What and I'm not saying I should have a live stream either I'm not saying that I you know, that's why I don't do it because I don't think it's good but Uh, I haven't seen a live stream on facebook that I've ever been interested in and I'm gonna get into the one that I sat and watched for Five minutes and I just couldn't look away. It was like weird

But before that there was one that I signed on and it was the first thing that popped up It was a live stream and it was like, oh You know and there was like the 30,000 people watching it's like, oh watch this giraffe give birth What the fuck why the fuck would I want to watch a giraffe give birth? Who's who's interested in seeing that? A giraffe give birth I don't want to watch anything give birth at all

Not even my future wife I'm gonna slow blink so I miss as much as possible during that fucking Time Or I'm just gonna be passed out on the ground. I don't know. I really can't I don't really know how I'm gonna handle seeing a person come out of another person You know When I think about it, I started to get sick. So I'm not even gonna like to think about it, but Yes, I understand it's beautiful. Oh, it's beautiful. It's it's natural. It's a way that I understand

It's still a human coming out of another human. I'm allowed to go. Wow. This is fucking strange. I think I'm gonna take a nap on the floor But yeah, um, yeah, it's fucking giraffe. Let's watch this giraffe give birth How's that even legal? There's no like laws against like Animal vaginas and shit like you can't just throw your own vagina up on facebook gets taken down you get deleted You get like blocked from posting and the fbi shows up and goes. What's good? You can't you can't just do that, but we're throwing giraffe vaginas up there Watch them give birth to these things that are like the size of

a lanky Fucking eighth grader like what? Who wants to watch that 30 000 people were watching? Who sets up the camera? it's It's so dumb. What are we doing, but anyway Sorry, I'm getting off track here on facebook

there was a Video I was just recording before this a podcast for veterans minimum And it's it's about sports like, you know, it's the sports podcast. I do it's called veterans minimum, whatever And if I don't know something while someone else is talking I'll go on my computer and I'll look up like a stat or you know Someone's name real quick and I clicked on facebook Um, I just clicked on like safari and facebook was up and it pops up and there's a live stream of a dude

Uh licking a lollipop But like in a sexual way And then in the corner there was a graphic that said how many licks and then there was like a counter And I I don't know what he was looking at like super Sexual it was we and he was wearing like it looked like a choker but It was a bow tie But also like a the top of a button-down shirt like just the collar of a button-down shirt and a bow tie and then nothing else

I mean, I didn't see the lower half of him. He could have been naked He had no shirt on he just had this fucking thing on and he's licking this orange lollipop Which by the way is the grossest flavor of tootsie pop There is if you if your favorite flavor of tootsie pop is orange You're a fucking psycho And you shouldn't be allowed anywhere near school Because it's fucking weird Uh

It's the fucking worst. It's also the worst starburst, which by the way, I know i'm getting off track here But I don't really appreciate the fact that the yellow starburst gets a bunch of shit. That's my second favorite Obviously pink takes the cake But fucking yellow is great Red is is is overdone orange is dog shit And what's the other one are those the only ones those are the only ones yellow is the second best And if you disagree Whatever I can't hear you disagreeing. I'm by myself

Uh But yeah, this guy's licking a fucking lollipop and he's just licking it whatever the counter So the counter was at like 380 um when I when I discovered it and I gotta be honest. I was there until like

470 licks I was there for 90 licks. I watched this man I watched a grown man lick a lollipop 90 times And I don't know why Because I hated every lick. I hated the whole thing. I thought it was weird I you know, I felt I just I was embarrassed. I just there was a lot of feel I was hungry And there's a lot of things that I was

At the time it was just it was the fucking weirdest thing. It's like when you see a dog taking a shit And you just can't help but look Or am I alone on that am I just that's the only I'm the only person who does that when I see a dog taking a shit I obviously I'm not down to like Like I don't like it. I don't want to go over and like grab it It's disgusting But when they're taking a dump for some reason I'm like, oh, that's so gross, but you can't look away It's like, oh god

Why am I still looking? There's probably other examples of things but that was the first one the parts of mine But I just watched this guy lick a lollipop for 90 fucking licks It was the weirdest thing. He's probably still out there licking and uh spoiler alert sorry Takes more than

480 licks or whatever the fuck he was at I don't know. He did have some he did do some damage to it So he looked like he was about 150 licks away if I'm being completely honest. I'm no expert on the matter but Whatever. Anyway, let's get to these sponsors real quick first one. We got zip recruiter Are you hiring? Do you know where to post your jobs to find the best candidates? Posting your job at one place isn't enough to find quality candidates If you want to find the perfect hire you need to post your job on all job

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Okay, now that that's out of the fucking way here Let's get into it. All right, so i'm alone. So obviously this is going to be a therapy session for myself um Okay, here's the deal, right? And you know, I don't really know if this even makes sense So before I start let me just say this could go nowhere and this could mean nothing or it could be the most obvious Shit you've ever heard in your life, but if one line of it You know helps you or you relate to it. I'm gonna say it anyway. I don't give a fuck

You can't tell me what to do. I can't hear you And i'm alone All right, so recently recently I forced myself to spend like a lot of time alone just like distance myself from everyone um As some of you know, I moved into this beautiful two floor Apartment with a roof. So technically it's like three floors and i'm starting a new show Like I just told you and you know, there was just a lot of great things happening for me And I just made my vision a little fuzzy

Um, I don't know if this is true for anyone, but I feel like when you get very busy You can lose sight of like what's important or lose sight of like what your purpose is So that's where this whole spending time alone thing started Because I mean back in the day, you know when I lived in my mom's house At least twice a week and I recommend doing this to anyone. I mean if it works for you For me, this is what I did Just to like kind of deal with Everything like and not just like work related things just you know anything like uh

I don't fucking know man. You're just life relationships your friendships like anything it just helps It's kind of like meditation sort of I would take a drive I would just drive by myself no music no phone I would just go and I would drive and I would just I wouldn't purposely think about my shit I just would naturally things would come up and you'd kind of sort them out in your brain Like you're not looking at your phone worrying about how many likes your picture got or how many views your video got or You know just anything really you're just thinking about yourself, which I think you need to do

To sort things out and you know since I've been moving into this apartment and you know doing the show and stuff I haven't had time to stop and do that So I just feel like A bag of shit Like I don't know I just I have I don't know I just become like a robot because It's weird like I would I thought that Moving into this place and you know having this show and be able to make cool stuff would

You know it would just elevate My happiness Or whatever which it like I'll get into what I'm not saying it's not I'm not saying it's oh my voice is cracking I'm all fucked up. I'm not saying it's not because it is in a way The only thing is I just haven't had time to like organize my thoughts and I just become like a robot like I'm an autopilot Like I'm just going through the I'm just going through the motions And I hate it like I can feel it

Like whenever I start to feel like I'm not in the moment and I'm just doing certain things because Okay, this is my routine I just jump out of it. I think it's really unhealthy To live that way, you know, and this is like a personal thing It has nothing to do with the actual show or You know the apartment. This is all like self Uh, I don't know the word Honestly, like I'm doing this to myself. You know what I mean? Um

So anyway during this little reflect reflection period. I'm currently going through I realized that I realized Something that's kind of obvious, but I'm still going to try to explain it. Basically All of my focus has been into this new apartment and this new show um That it's made me it's made me sort of feel like disconnected like I've been focused on these things um So much that I've been talking to people less and talking and seeing my family less and even when I'm out or I'm with people I'm just thinking about

Basically myself and thinking okay. What else what else do I need for my apartment? What else do I need for this show to work? How is it going to look? Uh, You know, what are we doing next week for this thing or what's my video going to be about or just all this stuff That's only about me And I hate feeling that way that I was like, you know, I mean like I I'm really not the kind of person that's like I want everything to be about me I want to be the center of attention like I just I don't like that and and I was kind of forced to do it I think this is normal

because I am transitioning from You know, moving out being away from my family and You know, I need to Buy a bunch of shit. I need to go food shopping. I need to you know, I mean, there's just like a lot of things that you do and I just never cared to Ask why I feel a certain way. I just kept doing things. I kept going through the motion So where's what I'm talking about where I become a robot. I'm on autopilot. I'm just, you know, whatever um

Yeah, but I just want to tell you from personal experience that You know being on autopilot and being a robot is fucking terrible and You know, I was sitting on my couch today like Before I get into that It's I mean That's part of the reason why I left my old job my old job. I worked for a company called elite daily And this my bosses were all under the age of 30

coolest dudes ever super successful So helpful in my career, but it saved me from You know I just I would have been broke as fuck like they gave me a job that I was unqualified for they just believed in me and You know, thankfully it worked out whatever and it was the coolest working environment and It's the best nine to five job. That's probably ever existed that I'll ever Be able to have In my you know, whatever

uh And even then I just you know, I had this great job and I was blessed to have it. I was lucky to have it, you know, I like I said, I was unqualified for it I was an editor and producer And I had to learn on the fly and then eventually You know, I was just like, you know, I mean I I did good work there and I had a really successful Uh Series that I was doing with them and you know, it was working out whatever, but you know, I

I should have never gotten that job Like I should have never gotten it, but whatever Those dudes are awesome The point is I even had to leave that job because I started to feel like I am just content with this and I feel like I Am destined for more. I I feel like I can build more. I I want to create things I don't want to just do this

I don't want to you know, just come to work and Do the same thing and sit at this desk and then go home and come back the next day Like I didn't feel like That was fulfilling to me and I'm not saying it's not fulfilling to everyone because of course There are people who have great jobs and they are totally like fulfilled and satisfied with

you know Doing these things like being a lawyer or you know an accountant or whatever Just whatever you want to be or an editor producer, whatever, you know That's totally fine and I understand that and it varies person to person and for me I just felt like okay. I need to do more than this. I need to you know, whatever. I feel like I have All this potential that I'm letting to go to waste So I just up and left and I told him I was like I need to get out like You know, I don't really have a plan. I saved up like

$20,000 from that time And I had 20,000 which isn't I live in New York City. So it's not anything crazy to have Um, it is a good chunk of change, but it's not like you could move out and It's not like you can quit your job move out and just be chilling, you know, like you'll run out of money very quickly Uh, especially in this city So I saved up that money and I just left and you know, people were like, do you know what you're doing? I was like I fucking don't

But I just felt like I needed it out. I just needed to find Something else, you know, I wanted to I wanted to be happier And and it had nothing to do with the job. It was just kind of like your own Happiness you have to like follow that You know what I mean? So even if you're in a great place and You feel like you have every reason to be happy and it just feels like okay. This is not enough. This is not the right thing You got to go

You know, you got to get out of that and just Fucking Figure it out But I guess that's what what Just happened to me recently and I think it's like normal just because like I said It's normal because I've been transitioning and like I'm just like busy and you know, it's it's my fault and I don't get me wrong I am completely aware of how Overpaid overrated and any other over words I am

And I'm extremely grateful and I love everything that I do. I just don't I just hate when I get disconnected and when I You know My attention is not in the right spot But basically today I was sitting on my couch and I realized that all this time I've put in just working and making this and making that and it all means nothing if I can't enjoy myself because I'm sitting Like I'm sitting there and I'm like

This is people would think I'm fucking crazy like I'm sitting on this couch The fucking ceilings in my living room right now are 14 feet tall And I'm not saying that to be like look at me. I'm saying that because I'm like Most people would walk in and go how the fuck are you Complaining when you live in this place You know and you have this show and you have all these people that support you and all this shit and it's like That's when I realized this all means nothing if you can't enjoy it

You know basically what I'm trying to say is don't let your work consume you When you let it consume you at least in my experience you become like a lesser version Of yourself, which I think is one of the worst things In the world. I think all you have is yourself And you need to keep that and you can't Become like a different part like you don't want to do that You want to be consumed by anything you always want to try to stay true to yourself as as much as possible You know one of the best compliments I've ever gotten this girl told me

Uh, I think she was in like like third grade class or my fifth grade class or something And I I saw her like three years ago And she was like wow you haven't changed a bit and I like that was awesome because Oh, I was with my friend Frankie too who I've known since pre-k and she was like oh you guys haven't changed a bit Which was I'd loved it, you know because so many things have happened Years have gone by so many things have happened And you know I mean I've seen I've met up with people I've

Knew when I was younger and they're completely different and just you know I I take pride in that and um Yeah, I just don't want I just think that you shouldn't let your work consume you and I'm not saying Don't work hard or like don't work at all. I'm not saying that obviously I'm just saying don't let it consume you and make you forget what's important or what's more important than You know money or just status or whatever You know your family your friends love your own happiness. You got to enjoy the success you come into If if you don't

It's like shitty like you ever see those movies With the businessman who doesn't talk to his wife or like he misses his fucking kids birthday Because he has like a fucking meeting or some shit like you don't want to be that You know some people are forced to because they're lying to work, but I'm saying like if you can avoid that of course Avoid that and let me clarify. I don't feel overwhelmed in any way I love everything that I do. I'm extremely fortunate and grateful. I've just been doing a bad job Of knowing like where to put My attention

You know what I mean? basically this whole spiel I just hope people real and I this sounds so obvious So it might sound people people might go like what the fuck are you saying dude? obviously But I don't know for me It's like it's easy to lose

It's like if you forget this for a second I'd let me let this be the reminder that Like your family and your friends Are so important You have no idea until you're just away from that

And I could say that and I guess for I mean at least to me I can tell you right now If I had to move to a different state and be away from my family and friends I would last two months before I Broke down and had to move home And I would gladly do that too

gladly because To me It's just money and I know as a person who's already in a position Where I have some sort of success that's easy to say But I I promise you I've always been like that. I promise you I've always been like that I've always been like Dude, I need to be happy. I don't or I need to be comfortable. I don't

I don't care about the money You know, I just want to survive That's it because I don't have a family right now, you know, I mean That's not I mean like I don't have kids and shit, you know Like I don't have a family I don't have to like pay so that this little kid doesn't die yet when that comes okay But I'm saying like I just need to survive. I just I'm trying to like keep myself. You got to keep yourself happy, dude You can't fall into these. I mean, dude, I swear to god. I've seen people

Get these great jobs and they think that okay, this is it now This is the thing that's going to make me happy. Then they stop spending times with their friends They stop spending time with their family they, you know or they have a girlfriend and You know, they Even if they like live with her they come home and it's not really a conversation. It's um, you know, I'm sure tired from work I'm just going to go to sleep

Then you go to sleep and you wake up and you go back to work And then you work all day this job that you that you Love and that you studied all through college. You get this nice job. You get paid whatever you live in a nice place You come home that day, you know, you tired again. Oh god. I was working overtime Because you're a hard worker and then yeah, and then you go to sleep again. It's like eventually that takes a toll You know And you forget that like the reason why you even want this job or you You wanted this job because obviously you want to be successful

But you think that's going to make you happy and you think it's going to be it's going to put you in a position where You're able to make other people happy. You're able to take care of a kid You're able to take care of your wife or whatever, you know I really don't even know if I'm making sense or if I know what the fuck I'm talking about. I mean, I'm 25 years old I don't know shit about the world I'm just venting here I just had like an epiphany today on the on the couch where I was just kind of like

Wow, it's it's really insane how important My friends and family are It's really crazy and You know, I can't do anything without them Like god forbid anything happened like I would just I don't know what would happen to me. I would just crumble I would it would be crazy

But I just I just hope people know how important that is and I hope you import I hope you know how important your own happiness is and I know like I said these things sound so obvious But it's also very easy to forget about them and forget like you know You just forget like oh this You forget your own happiness. You feel like I'm doing this because this is what I'm supposed to do I'm supposed to go to college. I'm supposed to get this job My dad's an accountant

So I should be an accountant because then he'd be happy with me and you know, whatever I got to work these long hours or whatever You got to you got to make sure that you're happy too You know or at least find a good balance because obviously you're not just I'm not telling you to Oh, I love trees. I'm gonna be a fucking hippie. I'm gonna get a bus and drive across the country and live in the woods I'm not saying that at least find a healthy balance or You know in my case where I've been working a lot lately and I don't think I'm going to be working less

if anything You know, I'm gonna be working more but Realize You know where your attention is when you're out with friends be out Stop thinking about all that. You know what I mean? Like you have to enjoy your life If you're constantly thinking about work, what does work? What it that means nothing That that does nothing for your quality of life It does because it pays you and allows you to do other things

But when you really think about it, what does it it's not like Oh god, I can't even unless you're like Fucking You know one of these instagram models Fucking tit oiler Then you know, what is your job? Like is your job really that fucking? Again, I don't know if I'm making sense here But

Just don't forget to to make yourself happy and You know Get to a position where you can help other people because that's all I've ever wanted and I feel like This is what I'm trying to say. Actually, I don't know if this is what I'm trying to say. This is a different thought From the beginning and I know this is going to sound like bullshit Because it's Because I just know how people are or whatever and I know this is going to sound like bullshit

But I know what to be true so you can go fuck yourself if you think I'm lying But for the longest time the only things I've ever wanted to do when I was growing up Is I wanted to be successful with something. I also wanted to be successful enough that I could help anyone at any time Any my friends and family But I also wanted to And you know the less fortunate also That was a big one. I remember when I didn't have a job

It sounds like I was about to cry just now My voice is just cracking because I am a toddler Or I'm a prepubescent boy Or I'm a boy going through puberty. Wow third time to charm there, but um I remember when I didn't have a job. I I looked up Soup kitchens and you know all the stuff and I was trying to volunteer there and honestly What a piece of shit because I just like looked it up and called some people But I never actually went and did it and I couldn't tell you why

Uh Yeah, I don't know why. I mean I have done some charity stuff. I mean since then And I plan on doing a lot more Uh once I have all this shit figured out. I just that was one of the big things I wanted to do I want I want to help You know, I want to I want to donate. I want to donate my time my money You know, I just and also You know, I I I started doing this because I like making people laugh

And if I can do this as a job, that's a bonus I I did this for free for two years like I would be doing I would be doing all this shit Even if I was you know, a cashier or a bank teller or whatever, you know, I would I would still be doing this because this is This is what makes me happy. I love doing this stuff. You know um Yeah But when I started doing all this, you know, the the goal was To be successful and also be able to help and to be able to

uh Yeah, just to help. I mean, that's it. But I haven't been doing any of that because I'm so busy. Why because I'm I'm focusing on myself and You know, that's not I don't think that's good I don't think it's good to just Only focus on yourself like you need to make an impact in the world. I'm getting real fucking deep here What are you gonna leave behind? You know I

Love helping people. I love I love that it's it's a great feeling and I'm sure everyone loves it You ever donate to a go fund me? You feel like fucking you feel on top of the world for the next week I just helped a kid with bone cancer. It's great you know You feel like you were in the or operating and shit like it feels good I think it's I think that's important. I think it it helps You mentally as well to help other people and getting that energy from people like, you know, the the They're thankful and you feel like you did something, you know

Just to switch it up. Like that's why I had to leave that job I just felt like I was in I was a mouse in a In a wheel just going around on the same shit over and over and over again I need to get the fuck out of there And we've gone off on quite a tangent here and I'm kind of just rambling at the end of the day. I just Don't lose don't lose sight of Reasoning and like why you do things why you doing this or why did you start doing this? You know, don't let all this shit get in the way of why you started it or where you want to go as well

Don't lose sight of that that's the most important thing and don't and don't Stop being yourself either and all that stuff can make you do that. Like I was saying before I'm just reiterating at this point when you get really busy. It's just like you're oh, I'm tired I don't want to really whatever you go out with friends and and you know, you're just sluggish. You're like, yeah I've just been working a lot. I'm just like tired, but it's like you become a lesser version of yourself It's like you want to have fun. You want to go back to those days where it's like, oh, man It's like you can still do that

You just have to focus you also got to be healthy and shit You know, obviously if you're taking down burgers every day like me That's not gonna help either. So I gotta be healthier. I gotta go food shopping tomorrow. I'll just remind myself I'm gonna start using fucking coconut oil to make my eggs What? God i'm retiring the butter coconut oil That's what it's come to, huh? Whatever

um Yeah, i'm sorry about this podcast I Feel like I sound insane Or just very obvious like I want someone's gonna be like, dude, obviously you fucking idiot. I'm like, yeah, I know I just had to say it out loud I don't know. It was just weird. I just felt like Other people looking in and seeing me sit on this couch with these high ceilings and

you know this This setup and the show and stuff to be like, dude, how are you how are you complaining right now? Do you know how many some people do you know how many people have it worse than you and they're right? They are right But the reason why I've been in this like rut or whatever is because I I'm just thinking about myself and not thinking about everything else or enjoying anything I'm just kind of like trying to get things done without enjoying them even when they are done

You know, I just move on to the next thing like, okay, what else we do? And I don't think that's healthy. I think you need to enjoy stuff. You need you need to make some memories Do things for the story, you know, I'm all about that Um, maybe it was the weather too because it's been shitty in new york city So once the once the weather gets nicer and stuff that'll help but Yeah, I just wanted to share and kind of

Get through that because I think I'm in a better place now even after saying it out loud today was the day the deciding factor This has been going on for like a couple weeks, but today's been the day That I think I made some progress with myself. I don't need a therapist. I just think shit I just think shit, you know, I figure it out myself And eventually it all makes sense and then I'm back to being a piece of shit Or whatever, whatever you guys know me as. I don't know um Yeah, that's it. That's all I got. How long is this podcast right now?

42 minute if you listen to this whole thing. Wow, you need to figure it out Go hug a dog or something. This is fucking 42 minutes Jesus we flew through this I'm sorry. I apologize once again uh Guys, seriously, um Like I said, if you want to just You don't want to pay for this full screen thing

Whatever dude, I don't blame you I mean, I kind of do it six dollars a month like whatever if you can't afford it. You can't afford it, but Whatever, uh Yeah, if you type in the promo code basement you get a free month And then you have to start paying for it If you just want to do the free month and you want to watch it like that that's totally cool with me Whatever, I just want you guys to see the product. So at least at the very least Please go check it out

And just sign up and get your free month at the very least and if you enjoy it then Stay hang out, you know, because I mean I I really plan on This is the first time ever I've gotten like a budget and been able to do some cool stuff So as the show goes on, you know, I want to Kind of ramp everything up and try to make it really fucking cool because I think that You know, I mostly have my friends and my family on here And I think they have a lot to offer as far as entertainment

I think they're all hilarious and they have great stories and I want to share them And if you're able to watch that at the same time, I think it's great, you know um So definitely go check that out at the very least, you know, like I said get your free month You get the podcast a week early If you don't want to do Don't blame you, you know at the end of the day Whatever, it's your shit

Uh, but yeah, that is all And thanks for listening. Yeah, motherfuckers