The Basement Yard - Please Don't Shoot The Rats

Episode Date: February 13, 2018

On this episode, Frank & I are talking about fainting, spelling, Logan Paul, & more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. I am joined by a returning guest Too much energy sorry you literally just told me to keep the energy up. I just got lightheaded I'm not even kidding. Yeah, because you just like you'll all the blood just went to my head I said keep the energy up. I was joking around by the way guys you asked for it So I did it the basement yard is being recorded on video once again It's gonna be available on YouTube. I made a YouTube channel for it It's not the episode in its entirety, but there will be like multiple clips from each episode that are uploaded So you can go subscribe there

It's gonna be a little hard to find right now because I can't make a custom URL yet But I'm gonna tweet out the link and then you could just go subscribe To there, but yeah every episode I'm gonna be recording on video and then making little clips and stuff and uploading to the channel There's gonna be two videos there as soon as I as soon as you're hearing this so so go check that out So yeah, did you actually almost faint by the way that was all I literally just got lightheaded for a sec I had to stop if you would have passed out on this table that would have made my fucking dick. I have no idea Have you ever fainted once and it was no no it was a high school. I'm Frank by the way

They know Frank yeah, yeah, it was high school and I gave blood for like the blood drive Yeah, awful day to start off. They thought my name was for our risco What the fuck is that? I don't know they thought that was my name frow risco. Yeah, how do they spell it FRA you? CISCO awful, yeah, and I had eaten like a good amount Beforehand, but I guess not enough not enough dude, and it was the worst so like The the the the syringe that they put into you is thick It's like as thick as this cable stop it is and it's fucking long and sharp. It's like a straw

They're sucking your blood out. This is out of control. I thought they gave little little no, man I show it. Oh, maybe they do now. Maybe I was just the unlucky prick. Yeah, I don't know But uh, I probably got some big fucking veins over there I'm bringing up the thing from the back dude. I got dope veins got big veins not like now you got big veins I got nice veins. Yeah, you're a veiny guy. Thanks. Well, I'm hello. I'm trying to get more vascular, but Yeah, so they fucking After I'm done They're like, all right, they take it out and they're like, you know, put the pressure on it was this arm actually my left arm

It wrote the fence. Yeah, and they go, all right Like pick it up and hold it there and I'm like, all right So I'm picking it up and I'm holding it and I just feel like The day after tomorrow the cold just like rushed down my arm and I'm just like whoa, this is so You just passed out I woke up and I'm like it was the craziest feeling because I had never passed out before Yeah, and I was like rediscovering life all over again. Well, you did mushrooms or something Yo, no, no, no, you know, you've never passed out and it's hard to explain if I have I fainted Oh, really? Dude, I used to faint like every week in church

When my mom used to take us to spiritual shit It wasn't I was it was hot and you couldn't breathe. That's why you fainted. Yeah, it's like a log cab in that church It was mad old. This was back in like you know The 90s and shit really. Yeah, you were an eight-year-old fainting in church. Yes I would bring you immediately to the hospital like every week. I would get in there and be like Shen I'm gonna faint and she'd have to take me outside or that was just a genius way of getting out of church No, I mean well either way that was some spiritual that people would say that's a sign

Fainting is like all this God's looking after you dude in church I get it in church But like that's the most important thing that you're fainting in church Franky fainting is bad Wouldn't that mean the opposite? Like what's not always bad? Is it you burst into flames in church? He must love you What are you talking about? It's the spontaneous combustion and fainting are very very different things. I know but I Fainted because I was super hungover and I was like dehydrated. You said it was in the 90s. No, no, no but another time another time I know You know that that communion wine was one sneaks up on ya. No

I Was I was in Philly actually and I was drunk as fuck. It was some YouTube thing and Usually I just like it as drunk as possible because I you know, I Know I get it. I hate that shit and then the next morning. I woke up next morning I woke up and I Went into the bathroom and like yo I first of all I I sat up out of bed and I was like, I'm not okay I'm not so I stood up you knew from the get-go from the I open my eyes I was like shit's about to happen. Oh, and I I sat up. I was like fuck. So I stood up

It was like shit. I'm really dizzy. So I I walked into the bathroom to look at myself That's the worst place to pass out. Why there's a lot of like ceramic shit like you hit your head on something you're done. I Almost did yeah, I saved my own life. I'm my own hero. It's basically what I'm saying So you were didn't get more Sistic, right? No, no, I fainted like here's what happened and in your unconscious body You're just like quite yourself. No, so I mean I eventually made it to the floor. I saved myself Yeah, you actually made it to the floor. It's a one-way trip standing to the floor No, so I didn't

So I went into the mirror to look at myself. I don't know why you know what I mean No, that actually makes sense. I do that a lot What look at yourself in the mirror? Yeah, but no when I'm like when I'm sick or I'm gonna throw up I look at myself like look at you. Look what you did you fucking idiot dude when I would cry First place. I'm going Me I cry in the mirror too. Why is that a thing? It's like a catharsis. I think it's like you're just like Man, I wish I knew what that man What the fuck is that? I would have thought that was some kind of tree or something

Or like a cloud, you know What do you clap? I don't know What is that? No, I was serious You really want to know what a catharsis is? Yeah, what is that? It I don't know the exact definition But it's like something that kind of helps you like come to terms with something and get over it You know what I mean? So like so you think it's almost there. It's therapeutic. Yeah almost like to stare at yourself crying

Yeah, just like you you bitch You little bitch Whenever I cry I have to see it. I'll pull out my phone and like Face time. I don't know if I need to see it I don't know why I feel like like you know when you cry and sometimes crying feels good You want to cry harder love it? Love it Dane cook has a funny bit about that where he like cry he like he wants to look at himself So you can make himself cry harder. I don't know why that but it's so true

Yeah, like I just feel like last time I cried was in a car and I was fucking like oh In the rear view That's great. Yeah, it was funny Do crying a car must be dope because then it literally looks like a scene in a movie where you just left some girls house dude I kid you not she doesn't want me anymore. It's like the world lined up perfectly I was crying and then like songs came on that are like emotional. Yeah, and I was like damn like this is Someone needs to see this. I was like pulling next to cars like inching closer to them like It's looking at them. There's just a guy crying in here. No big fucking deal. All right, nobody make a scene

I love a good cry. I know we've spoken about that. Yeah, but passing out not fun No, no, no, so what I pet like I was I started to get though. You know you get the white around your eyes No, you don't get that. I well I've only passed out once from what I remember just like oh see mine was like It was gradual all the times I've ever fainted were gradual all the time. Yeah, it was like four. Yeah, that's still a lot No, but like I I you get like a white around your eyes You get really dizzy and you start to like not be able to see clearly and it's like white And you're like what the fuck so I knew I was gonna fade so I started to my legs started to go and My and I grabbed onto the sink

So I didn't fall backwards into the tub and then I just like hit the floor. I was just on the ground Yeah, I mine was not as graceful. I mean it wasn't graceful trust You had like a yeah, you drop like you got sniped apparently It's like I did I had my fucking arm up and I just Fell and then I wake up and I look on the ground and my arm is dangling the fucking cotton ball is on the ground There's blood nice because I was dripping for my arm and the woman's like I told you to stay awake. I Swear to God. She yelled at you. Yeah, and I just like this isn't my fault for passing I remember like I literally

Rediscovered like my own existence. I was like I woke up. Did you see and I was no no no not like seen anything It's just like I woke up like I woke up for the first time ever. It was like I'm alive. I'm a human. I'm Frankie I'm I'm in New York. I'm in this gym, and it was just like it just and she was like your eyes. Yeah, I'm fine And I was just like so weak. I remember that because then afterward I ate like cookies and shit nice Yeah, which I'll pass out for cookies any day Go down out right now. Just give me a fucking chips ahoy after chips ahoy or Oreo That's really tough. It is really tough. That's really really tough I go through phases, but see like I don't think Oreo is a cookie as much as it's just a sugar sandwich

It's fair right it's kind of fair and like Oreo isn't chocolate. It's black. It's black sugar Yeah, what is that made out of no? Like I don't know what Oreo's man. It's brown. It is it's black. Yeah, it could be tire like a seriously tire It's not good year Oreo's. I don't consider that a cookie. I consider that like a sweet a candy. Yeah Well they started making now they're just fucking with us because you know they have all kinds of shit dude They're so good. They have like the cinnamon ones cinnamon buns horny dude I would literally literally let someone shove the entire pack in my ass people are gonna hate me for this But the the peeps ones that they have for Easter. They have peeps Oreo. Oh my god. I'm not a peeps guy

It's golden golden buns. Are they buns or they're not buns outside. Yeah, and the inside is is like Peep crusted marshmallow. Oh, it is horny. I'm not a I'm making horny happen low priori. I'm making it happen still I'm not a I'm not a peeps guy. You're out of your mind. My mom loves peeps. She knows you'd like she likes them stale She'll leave them out. I'm sorry, but your mom's an idiot What a fucking Nothing the word stale just Awful yeah, it's weird. She like leaves them out and then just eats them like when they're stale I'm like first of all these are gross like either way. That's too much marshmallow for me. It's perfect. I love it so much

And it has a little bit of crunch with the sugar on the outside Oh my god, it's so good. Do you mean anything weird like your mom eats stale fucking peeps? I guess Uh, no, she also likes like twizzlers like dies for them. Dude, I love twizzlers. Yeah, but they're they can't be like in your top five No, they're not in my top five. Yeah like candies. That's tall. I don't know what's in my top five Because you have to do like candy bars and then like candy. You know what I mean? Like They're different Like chocolate bars, you know what I mean? I'm not like, you know I don't eat like a ton of candy bars where I have to have a top five

I don't either but like there's a top five Like that's obvious. That's an easy one like twix number one I like twix. Twix is so dope. Twix aren't bars. Yeah, they are the two bars. What are you talking about? They're literally a bar You okay? I don't know about that. Yeah, you are wrong. I don't know about that So Where'd we go? I don't fucking know. No, but um, what the fuck was I even talking about? Uh, we went from I passed out. I eat cookies after word peeps. Chips ahoy or Oreos Oreos

They had different types peeps boom relax peeps. So anyway, peeps so good garbage. You're out of your mind How how it's literally just marshmallow and sugar. I think it sugar and sugar. I'm not like a marshmallow guy I'll eat a s'more But I'm not like yo Let me like you know when you're making s'mores and you eat like I'll have this graham cracker or I'll just have this piece of chocolate I never go. Let me just eat a straight up marshmallow. Like that's like dude. I love marshmallows toasted marshmallows I'll I'll have it in a s'more, but I'm not just gonna eat a marshmallow like a fucking Communists or some shit dude. I make like I need it in my fingers and make like you need it. Yeah

Oh my and I make like taffy Oh Dude So good. I want I want to let you know something. You're not making taffy You're just playing with it. I Make taffy No, you don't I'm sorry. I make I literally I make nothing. I just call it taffy Did you make what did you make one time you came to my house and you you had like baking soda or something

And you're like look it's a solid and a liquid. Oh, it's like I don't remember what it's called goop. It's uh corn starch and water A lot of ingredients. It's literally two things and it's like when you hit your finger into it hard it Condenses like a solid right, but if you just put your hand on it It just sinks into it and then when you try to like lift it up it like stops. It's really fucking cool I don't know how it's done or the size behind it Like people have like filled up like kiddie pools and like ran across it What the fuck you've never seen that

It's actually really cool people are filling up. First of all, you ever see those videos on youtube But people doing shit like that like they like today. We're filling up my pool with pepsi Why No, it's like jumping in a fucking pool full of pepsi My favorite why are you filling your fucking pool with pepsi dog? My favorite is the ones that do like diet coke in a bathtub and then they do like a hundred mentos See what happens challenge. Nothing happens. Yeah, nothing gets a little bubbly. It gets bubbly. That's it, dude That's the inspiration for bath bombs. It's so stupid, but I would there are a lot of liquids. I would bathe in

What's up? I would bathe in a lot of liquids. First of all, it's just a weird sense I don't think anyone would I would bathe in a ton of liquids. You don't like something so much you would bathe in it Yeah, see there you go. Yeah, but I don't ever think about it. You have a Clearly you have a list. I thought you brought a list with you. I was I was telling my girlfriend this the other day I think about the dumbest shit All the time, but it'll never like this is a perfect time to talk about this like so wait All right, so what's the what's one of them? Miller light Easy done. You would bathe in Miller light hundred percent. First of all, I think you're looking at a UTI

I'll take one for a bath of Miller light unless you just like tape the tip of your Yeah, I mean, I'll I'll clean myself beforehand when I say bathe. All right. That's a little misleading I'm not gonna go in and scrub my body with Miller light. Oh, no I'm gonna just sit in a pool of Miller light and drink it get just a straw and just suck that bitch up Yes, I will. All right. So Miller light. I I mean, I I mean I do it, but like I don't want to fill it up It's a lot of work dude There's this columbian soda called columbiana I know what that is. It's so fucking good. I know it's probably because it's got 90 sugars in it 99 sugars

Does it actually no, but a lot of sugar I would bathe in that 100,000. What about all right? Give me something weird like syrup. No, not syrup. Why not? That's where I go I love how serious you just got no, no, no not syrup Uh the inside of the lint chocolate truffles. Oh that shit. I would fucking I would fuck that up, right? Yeah, right when that gets in your mouth. It's literally like a cold like Yeah, fuck. Um, I just got a boner. See? Yeah, I'm so hard right now. Uh Oh god

Right relax, dude um This is completely unrelated to this conversation, but you know one of my least favorite things in the world is what? you ever see So like I I know I do this whatever you're about to say. No, no, no I don't know why but I find it's so gross. You know like corn right Yeah, you know corn. I know corn the band or the food. No the food. Okay. I was thinking a lot about the band later

Uh Like, you know, uh How it has this like a stringy There's like the stringy things on it. What is that? Like a it's like part of like the leaf like remnants of like what you Shuck. Yeah, that is well. It just drives me. Yeah. I don't know why I'm right there with you because Love bananas least favorite part are the stringy things on banana the stringy things on Like you can't eat it. No, it's not meant to be eaten No, and it's people are like, oh if you peel it upside down

It won't come with stringy things That's bullshit. Yeah, and no it will it will fucking idiot I jeopardize trying to rip that fucking butt of that banana. So now it's all mushy. Yeah, hate it Dude, do you do you eat like the the black parts of a banana? Yeah I mean depends on depends on how dark they are They're just dark. No, it depends on how if it's like slight like bruising and a little bit of brown If it's like now I'm talking if I if I open it and it's all brown it got jumped. It's going in. Yeah Going in the trash stopped out going in the trash. No, I if I

See sometimes bananas fuck with you because like I don't really like biting into the I'll be honest with you Do you eat around it or you just don't eat it? No, I'll eat it But I'll eat around it or I'll just you know do the old I'll get that really. Yeah, I don't like but sometimes you bite into a banana and and it's like It didn't show outside. It was only on the inside. So I'm like, oh And then I throw that out because I don't like to I feel like I've been duped I can't if there's any green on a banana. I can't eat it Yeah, it needs to be yellow and a little bit of brown

Like I've seen wait, what would you just say? Yellow and maybe a little bit of brown. No, but what what are the colors? Did you say green? If there's green on the outside the outside. Oh, yeah, yeah, if it's too green Like my mom this psychopath. She is like freezes bananas and they become all brown Like all brown no yellow literally looks like a log of shit Healthy shit. Yeah, and she freezes him like that. I'm like, what a psycho that does not look appealing I'm a big eye eater. Yeah, I can't eat something if it looks like shit I'm gonna go out on a limb here

I think your mom's stupid Oh fuck what we get out of today We have dumb dumb mom. Just really stupid stupid people stupid stupid some dumb people Yeah, but my dad's dumb too. Don't want to leave him out of this equation. My dad's dumb as well Parat paradigm parents. Yeah, this is what you get No wonder why the fucking kids are eating tide pods Don't get me started on this fucking shit. Did you see they passed a law to make them less appealing? They're not appea- stop. They're appealing. They look good. Frank. They look good

You're gonna tell me you've never looked at a tide pod and said I'd eat the shit out of that if it didn't kill me No What? I I I don't know like The reason why they don't look appealing is because On the box it says tide detergent. That's the only thing. Okay So you're at a candy store and you see a barrel full of tide pods You're not going to say wow that looks like a fucking amazing candy. Yes, because it's candy

But say someone fucked with you and just put a barrel of it there Like say it's still a tide pod You deterge it and all yeah, but I eat anything they also make candy cigarettes and I eat the shit out of those Right, I would never bite into a cigarette That's not that bad Biting into cigarettes. I mean that's bad and smoking is bad for you But like if you bit into a cigarette, that's that's not gonna kill you. You say cigarette. Cigarette cigarette Cigarette you said cigarette cigarette. We got over this. You're dumb. No, just like you're

Let me smoke my cigarette You sound like a classy bitch. I don't I'm not saying it like I'm french so you got it No, you say cigarette cigarette cigarette you say cigarette cigarette cigarette. I listen to a lot of rap Smoking cigarette. Was that a Nicki Minaj song? I think so. Oh my god. Um No, but I I mean that's what I'm saying like the thing that deters me from it is the fact that It's fucking think about other laundry detergent Regular tide it looks like delicious

Sure, it looks all laundry detergent looks delicious everything it looks delicious except for the clear laundry detergent if you put oil In a coca-cola bottle you wouldn't know the difference You just went fucking super cross-eyed you were like you wouldn't know the difference Oh, that's scary because I didn't realize I did this Bye bye YouTube

There we go What does that mean? I don't know YouTube you're shouting him out. Yeah, dude. It's hot in here dude. It's hot Dude so many like things that can kill you if you ingest them look delicious like what? motor oil Looks awesome Antifreeze looks good. Dude. It looks like Gatorade. It looks like Gatorade. It does. You know windex Sign me up pour them out

Windex does look like Gatorade too Have you ever seen the fucking awesome colored like Drano? Oh, we're giving kids ideas. Don't please don't listen kids just Hit that cabinet underneath the kitchen. Yeah, dude so much of that stuff looks delicious Yeah, but that's the whole thing like You don't because It says this thing on yeah, because anyone with a fucking working brain knows not to eat or drink that. Thank you But it does look good. I mean it's appetizing

You know who's probably had a lot of those eating a lot of tide pods like before they were popular logan pole Tide pods. Oh, yeah, he's probably drank like windex like Breakfast like we'd know we'd know that is doing lots of blow though tons of blow Of course he is he has to be he 110 has to be because you can't be that dumb without some sort of intoxicant in you Not even like I just a lot of energy, you know, does that kid ever relax? He doesn't look like he relaxes. He probably does And it sucks probably like everything he does I think is the worst like he probably like Wipes his ass side to side. Oh, don't get me

I don't know but he probably does it like an idiot he probably like He probably like takes two pieces of toilet paper and like shoves him in and pulls him out Okay, you're getting creative and it's hurting because it sounds stupid, right? That just sounds fucking Psychotic that sounds like him. I mean and he in People will support him if he wipes his ass the wrong way people will love him Yeah, he probably really does like he probably still uses like a five star binder What the fuck are you talking about?

A five star binder. Yeah at age. How old is he now six seven? He's 20 Two 22 23 something like that. He is the brain or 21. I don't know. He's pretty young. He's younger than I That I think we think no, isn't jake paul the younger one. Yeah But I thought he was 20 years old. How old is he? I think he's 20 Jesus and then his brother's either 21 22 23 Just like the whole 20 he's in his 20s. Let's just go there I had a sneeze. I thought you're about to blow a fart like a big one. I had a sneeze for a second

Okay, it was coming on. It got real real burning sensation right here. You look like you put on like the robergen aro eyes I was like the fuck is going Oh god, uh, but he's dude Logang for life. He's back man. He is back But before we get to to logan paul because I do want to talk about logan paul Let's get to these sponsors real quick First one we have here is blue aprin. Uh, the leading meal kit delivery service in the us. It is almost valentine's day So if you want to cook in instead of going out and cook in is that even like a term? Yeah, because cook out is a term

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And and dumber and dumber and then I can't say dumber than ever just as dumb no Not much has changed here not much and here's the reason why we're saying this. Okay, because This kid first of all It was weird like he made this like return video. That was super weird. Yeah, basically Uh, it was blasphemous Yeah, he was like he like did the whole like jesus resurrection thing. Yeah He could not be farther from jesus. He's like How do I I'm trying to think of someone I can relate him to like

if Harvey Weinstein no, that's hello. That's a lot I don't even know where we're going. I don't know either. He's an awful person. Right. Leave it at that I don't I'm sorry. Yeah, and maybe he's a nice person in person, but I just don't buy it. Here's the thing in his video Not it okay in the return video. It was like weird He did this like sketch where he had a beard and he was like I've been away for so long whatever But then he started saying shit like

He he then he was like I'm back He started doing is like Karate Yeah, because like you know how he's just and then you're like him and his brother like try to punch cameras and shit Like they're filming. It's like, you know what's going on They throw punches at they like shadowbox the camera And then he's like, who do you know who gets a million subs when they're not even posting? It's like dude You filmed a dead guy and you were crying on fucking good morning America like literally a day ago

I I've come across people in my life that I just I I fucking see right through them and I don't believe a word out of their fucking mouth. Yeah, that had to be it And that's what he was. That's what he is to me. I'm sorry. Like I don't I feel no sympathy for him No, he he comes out and he posted the video and then he says it was a lapse in judgment. No, it wasn't You just had no brain. There's not a lapse in judgment. There is no judgment You don't like accidentally film something edit it put music to it and then upload it. Yeah Whoops, I slipped and did all this work God damn it. I just headbutt the mic for this. Yeah, you did

Dude and and the and another video that he put out like two days later He has this like assistant who usually he like has assistants I don't know what they do, but they're always just like hanging out. It's like these hot girls that just hang out in his place and I forgot her name, but he's like, oh, there's dead rats on my patio. You got to get rid of them All right, so I guess that's her this girl's job What fucking house does he have that there are just dead rats multiple rats? First of all on the patio like how they get how they get there. They had to be planted power shooting in from the fucking

Have you ever honestly? Have you ever seen a rat? in your house No, no a rat. Exactly. I mean, I don't think it was a rat I mean if you're asking Personally, I think obviously these were planted there. Yeah, a hundred percent. He planted dead hundred thousand percent for the vlog, you know, and he had this like bit where He's like, yeah, uh, you got to get rid of them and she's like, I don't want to get rid of them And he's like fine and he pulls out a taser and starts tasering a dead rat

This is two days after you just came back. Loki. What are you doing? First of all, don't know if taser rings a thing might be tasing second It just shows like he was on good morning america with michael strayhan and he was just like I am like the most hated person on the planet and it's like I'm like a good person And i'm looking at that and i'm like Maybe he feels bad. Yeah, but then him coming back and pulling some shit like this gone. Yeah, don't believe it I'm sorry. I honestly was like on I wasn't on his side. I was more so feeling like I can see how a kid who's like 22 and has like the world in his hand could fuck up like that

like obviously very dumb, but Learn your lesson move on Shooting rats Two days later. What are you doing? It's what are you doing? Like it's why you why? We have a friend that is very tone deaf. Yeah this is just As tone deaf as you could possibly get like right the kid and now he has pita after him, which Does he yeah, so pita was like, you know, you're a disgrace pita defends rats

Uh pita defends animals right but like rats I don't think they draw the line at like rodents. Yeah, but like I love lambs. I love cows. I love chickens Fuck possums Honestly, they'll fuck possum. Yeah, no, I don't like fucking the fuck possum the shit. I didn't think that pita like I don't know our ants animals Or like our insects like their own thing. Well, they're in the animal kingdom Uh, so I would say They're in the same textbook. I know that but I think different chapter

Oh, yeah, I would say like, you know pita ain't out there like don't step on ants. That's what I'm asking That's that's a really good point really really good point. I'm asking a lot I would love to talk to pita. I would too peter. They're like technically a terrorist group Because they like get like aggressive. Yeah, they get like aggressive. They like actively harm people dude pita when they throw pain on people Hilarious. Yeah, one of the best things awesome ever but also It's an act of terrorism. Yeah But like throw blood on them here Yeah, it's so it's crazy. But this kid just doesn't learn his lesson and yeah kids

I don't know at what point are people going to stop like I they're not I mean, dude Anyone over the age of like 18 is like this dude's clearly fucking nuts, you know, I mean But anyone who's like super young is like it's every day and like you know what I mean? It's like these are the new celebrities. These are I have to be honest. I like I see nothing appealing about him As a character or as a personality like I literally don't like there's not even when vine was out and like

He was just a regular viner. I I always skipped over his because I just never found it funny Like I didn't think any of those people were funny. It'll be honest. There was something that made me chuckle I don't know like the really big people who are like editing their vines and like making music and shit. Yeah that Like who's the other one that got like accused of sexual assault What? You know this Curtis LePore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I totally forgot about that. I was like, what are you fucking talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah Of like rape, I think sexual assault. It's not called rape anymore

Is that true? Yeah, why not? It's like the word rape just has like a really like gross connotation to it So what do we sexual assault? So you call it? Wait, what we're not saying rape. No, well, I mean people still say it but like For like it's a whole thing but like basically for like it's like retarded and like mentally challenged Yes, but also like for the victim like the victim doesn't want to hear like they got raped They want to hear like they were sexually assaulted like I know it sounds stupid to us But I can understand it from someone else saying it sounds. I just had no idea. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know like I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure it's been taken out of most like

Laws like in regards to sexual assault like okay. I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but uh Like I found like none of them like fun the ones that like put like production value into a six second video I thought was ridiculous. Yeah, it's kind of over the top. I didn't get it But I just it's kind of like this kid Logan Paul is kind of dangerous to like kids. Oh god He's the fucking yeah, like if insanely dangerous this whole tide pod eating thing. He didn't do it if he did Goodbye. Yeah, a lot of kids could have got hurt. Yeah Like that's wild and like, you know, first of all, this is a little crazy and like I know I'm like reaching with this But I'm just saying

I watch a lot of like murder documentaries about like kids murderers and like all this shit and one of The similar things with all these people is when they were younger they would hurt animals I don't I don't think he's gonna be a murderer. No, I don't think so either, but I'm saying like You see it on the internet this kid's shooting. He's tasing dead rats and shit. It's like, oh, man Mutilation's fun That's but that's how like, you know, a little kid has a mind like a sponge. You'd be like, yeah, fuck it Let's go beat up a cat or something. I mean

It's kind of similar But look at how when we were growing up like we used to try to do like jackass videos and stuff like that Yeah, you know what I mean? Like it's in the same breath very very similar But I think you know the jackass guys at least kind of From what I was sure it was dangerous to it was dangerous. I'm not saying it wasn't but from what I remember They were like saying like don't do this like yeah, we were idiots We're morons be better than us like Logan Paul is not saying that Jake Paul is not saying that they're like by my merch By my merch, you know every day bro. You know, like it's

They're not trying to veer people in the right direction. It's more of like join me. It's like a cult It's not a cult. So here's the thing like I don't I don't want them to be like Like you they don't have to be role models. Like I don't care like you don't I don't I don't think they should I disagree. I don't think not why I'm supposed to now. I'm supposed to turn into an inspirational like a motivational speaker Like I don't expect them to do that But like doing things like this Is like a little crazy like dude jump out of a plane Go skydiving like do your thing make do cool shit and like make your videos whatever

I'm not asking you to change doing doing any of that, but don't like Film a dead body or shoot rats. Yeah, like you know what I mean I do think that There is a fine line between kind of making that content or spy You saw him spike a game boy in the middle of some fucking store in japan like dude. What are you doing? I saw that Like if other people did that it's like that's a crime for many reasons um, but I do you know how I am a my nostalgia. So fuck with my game boys

That's a crime. Yeah, uh But I think when you when you're making content like that and even you to an extent like you have to ride a fine line of Doing what you enjoy and what makes you happy But also you know, you have a following like you you can't you can only do so much without like enticing other people to do it You know what I mean? And I I think you know you for an example since you're sitting two feet from me Like you're not out there, you know going up to people in public and smacking their ass and saying it's a prank hilarious You know what I mean like you're sitting there and just like yeah, it's very different to those videos make me so uncomfortable

I hate them so much like when it when a dude has like He has someone walk behind a girl And he's holding melons And then he starts walking towards the girl and he goes oh those are great melons and she's like uh, what? And then he walks past her to the guy those are good melons whatever and she's like oh my god That's crazy like yo that's a little fucking weird like you're riding the line And you know what's like I think about it in terms of like they need these purple They need these people's permission to put their face. Yeah in the video

So they have to say something to them afterward like oh by the way, I was trying to make it seem like I was complimenting your tits But I I wasn't we're doing your tits. We're doing a booby video We're doing a booby video That's the joke like that's my favorite part of this like thinking about the conversations afterward like by the way We gotcha one two We wanted to make it seem like we were complimenting your tits, but actually Not fucking tits. I mean they're nice tits fucking tits like That's so stupid. I know and the ones that like

Like go in public and like put down a briefcase and say it's a bomb and run away Yeah, what how how are those people not arrested? They should be that's not a that's not a crime. I'm pretty sure it is like it's sort of inciting a riot in a way 100% I I just like but I mean do for the most part I think people don't even want to be in those videos especially places in LA like anyone will be in any video Like oh it's going on youtube. You have millions of followers. Fuck it. I'm in it's like that's what they'll do also There's a lot of pressure for instance. I was walking at a flea market

And suddenly cameras walked up and was flea market flip And they like these two women are trying to sell me a fucking I don't even know what the fuck it was and I was just now. I'm like the cameras on I'm like Okay, look at this very like I had to pretend like I was like, you know interested Meanwhile, I was like get me the fuck out of here and then as soon as you walk away Some guy with a headset runs after you say hey, can you sign this real quick? It's like for a release whatever I'm just like, yeah, whatever just fucking sign it But it's like I don't give a fuck about being on the show and I don't even know what's going on

They could have made it it could have been like You know opening to a porno or like an episode about fucking All the dickheads in this area. We're gonna try and sew them this you know what I mean? You'd have no idea how it's gonna be portrayed. Yeah, yeah, yeah So you just sign away and you're like, yeah, fuck it. I don't care. Yeah, I mean It's uh, it's definitely kind of fucking crazy the way that stuff like that is done And I mean I fully you know me. I love to prank people and mess with people But I think keep it amongst your friends your family people you know people you like and that may be like you because

If I'm in the street and someone runs up and like someone runs up to me and says like it's a bomb I'm gonna fucking like try to Tackle that person. You know what I mean? Like if they drop a briefcase and run away I'm gonna go up to them and try to fucking tackle them and if I catch them Chances are I'm gonna try to beat the shit out of them if you yeah That's what I'm trying like if you scare me with like the bomb thing and then you come to me like, yeah It's just a joke like I'm gonna hit you. Yeah, like you're are you kidding me? Dude, I said it those those clowns that were going around

You better be expecting an ass whooping. Yeah, if you get caught I will fuck you up If you try to scare me if I buy myself and I'm walking in a clown does that shit I'll fucking run a hundred percent But like these people that are like in a car With other people and they start backing away afraid of a clown Crush that Hitting that shit speed up dog. It was just a prank. Fuck you. I don't care your leg is fucking shattered now You like it's funny. Hope it was worth it. Yeah, you fucking asshole. I hate that stuff. I know

Do you remember the prank that we pulled once? Oh, no, uh where I walked on crutches across the street at a red light. Oh my god So when we critique people in this regard like It doesn't mean we haven't done them and not felt bad about them. Oh, yeah, we were like 13 We were 13. I remember we did it on like someone's birth I think it was like my birthday or my brother's birthday. It was on my corner We like left and we were like, let's go film this video. We didn't fuck with anyone though No, we didn't but it was just like I I guess like as these people call them social experiments

Like we are well aware that we have also been these assholes and we've just grown up Other people are these assholes at this current age. Yeah, which doesn't make sense 35 year olds, um but uh You remember and for the people listening and watching we uh I had crutches. Yeah, so we there's a light at my corner So we waited until it was a red light and someone's pulled up and was just there and there were like a few cars Yeah, it wasn't just one or two and I had crutches because I think

Someone had crutches. I thought we might have found them. We were 100 dubster divers. Yeah And I walked across the street at the red light and joey came up behind me kicked the crush It was Keith who kicked them. Yeah, kick the crutch out Keith or joey whoever And then started beating me with the crutch and then ran away Yeah, a lot of people were honking their horns. Oh my god. Yeah, and so We have first hand experience being those assholes. That's why we can make fun of other people Because we did that Yeah

That was the only one though and it we didn't really like fuck with other people. It was more just like fucking with each other No, so I was super scared You were super scared. Yeah. Oh, that should make me nervous. I'm like, oh, like I you know You're better than me in like public situations. Like I don't really yes. I am Yes, I am. I have skills. I swear to god. I do. I promise If anyone's listening, I have real world skills tons of skills 100 100 things I can do. Yeah By the way, another thing I wanted to talk about before I forget. I just want to say it because we're kind of like whatever but Uh, I'm saying like we're we're fucking 45 minutes in

But I wanted to fit in that. Did you see in Philly like because obviously the eagle's won the Super Bowl But like did you see in Philly the? Celebration like the shit that went on in that city After they won that game And they're like dude someone tweeted me because I saw a link And it was like Philly fan eats horse shit In celebration And I was like what so the video is just like a police horse

Taken a dump like took a dump big dump a lot of dump You ever see Jurassic park where like a lot of jeff goblins got his hand and shit I think it's sam neal, but okay. Is it sam neal? I think so I think jeff's got his hand in there. I don't know but either way continue Yeah, he he he puts his fucking hand in the fucking thing. It was like a lot of shit. It's a lot police police horses shit At least it's not runny. It's just like no, it's like balls of like dirt with like hay in it. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird um, but it was on the street And everyone was huddled around it

Weird number one Then this guy is just standing there and fucking everyone's like yeah do it do it He goes down he picks up a piece of shit and eats it We want a super bowl Like why would you like those things aren't related I don't I I cannot think of something less appealing than eating shit horse shit. No less I would rather eat horse shit than human shit Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, if I had if I had you know what now you think about it

If I had to eat any shit, I probably horse I think we're also kind of conditioned to associate the smell of animal shit with like fun What? What was that? No, no first time I smelled a fucking animal shit. The zoo was a kid I love the zoo. I smell animal shit. I think of the zoo. I'm hype You smell animal shit and the first thing you think is like, oh, this is great. Yeah, I'm having a good time here Dude, your sense of smell has the strongest connection to your memory. So I smell Horse shit and I think like wow it's nice

I'm not saying the scent is nice But like I'm like, well, yeah, I remember being like a four-year-old at the zoo It's like pet and pigs Do you remember when we went to the zoo and I tried to milk a cow. I remember that no I mean you tried I couldn't get it down I was going like up instead of down. Why would you go up? I was a four-year-old I didn't know I was milking the fuck out of that cow dude. You're better than I am I was jerking that cow. You would not believe you are better than I am. Yeah, I'm telling you

You have a social situations. I got milk in a cow. Yeah One one here, okay But I important the important things in life. I remember going and there was like a makeshift stage and a dude Shearing a sheep. Hmm. I remember that on the stage and I'm like, I feel like this is a little much I remember thinking that like the the sheeps just like

The whole time and the guys just shaving them and I'm like, look at this poor fucking sheep and everyone's like, yeah wool I'm like, well, no, no, no, no it like it helps them Like did you ever see there was like a video of like a sheep that hadn't been sheared in like a long time? Oh, yeah, yeah, and it's like an added like 130 pounds that they can't breathe and shit like that But I remember that dude. It's just like weird to see. I smell animal shit. I think of the zoo. I'm happy I'm just saying like I wouldn't actively want to eat horse shit. Yeah, but I could get through it

You could eat horse shit. I could if I had to come Why would you have to I don't know gun in my head kill your family eat horse shit I'm eating that shit. That would be I mean, I'm eating this shit too But like I'll just think of like petting zoos and stuff Dude, dude, tell me you don't think of petting or like walking in Times Square and seeing like those horses Like the cop horses. That's awesome. I like it. No, you know, I like cop horses. No, it's fucked up Well, I mean, I don't know how they treat them, but they look like they're happy I'd rather them be running in like a meadow or something. By the way, what is a meadow?

Great question. I was just gonna ask that like what is that? I'd love to go to one How like how much land is a meadow because like there's like a garden a yard A farm what constitutes a meadow. Yeah, what does it have to be physically something that's grown there? Or is it just like just just greenery. Yeah, what is that? I feel like a meadow would be really nice. Yeah Like like yeah Like what I was gonna say like Go ahead with that. Keep going. I was gonna say like, you know in forest gump. I don't think that's a meadow though No, I mean

I'm thinking I'm trying to think of like a meadow that I'd like to go to You just got like a list of meadows. No, but like think of like like meadows I feel like a meadow is like nice like in like in the midwest They got a lot of meadows and like people like are there meadows? Yeah, like people and their girlfriends They like skip through the meadow and then they see a tree and they carve their names into it And then they break up like two months later But and then they see it 20 years in the future. Oh my god. I should have I should have I should have done that and I don't

I don't When I think of first of all when I think of the midwest, I think of just the color yellow I don't think of any greenery. I just yellow like like tumbleweeds and hay tumbleweeds. Yeah, and uh, I feel like a meadow would be in like ireland Ireland did like rains there and shit. It's a lot of green No, I think so. I think I'm right. I think you're wrong. I think you're dumb. No Maybe our parents. Yeah our parents are fucking idiots. I know a meadow. My mom has no idea what that is I I would love to know. My mom couldn't even spell meadow. I don't know. I could spell meadow. M E A D O W

Yeah, there you go. See our parents couldn't do it. Yeah, no, uh But actually my mom's a phenomenal speller. Really? Yeah, she actually dude. Your mom spells hard, man I like secretary. I hope she could fucking I hope so then I mean you don't need to know how to spell nowadays Everything helps you correct for you. Yeah, I was going through my old facebook Well, not my old facebook my facebook. Yeah, I used to add an e to everything Everything like what great the word great had an e on it uh night

Had an e I just I just I guess e is just like the the letter you can just throw anywhere and think like yeah, it's fine Do you consider yourself like a good speller now? Yeah Spelling convenience Inconvenience or inconvenient So the fact that you no, no seriously, no, no seriously the fact that you like had that question I already think you can spell it. I'm just I'm gonna say this you could spell it with a q in there and I'd be like, okay, because I can't spell that word

You know which word I have a lot of trouble with acknowledge Oh, I could spell that how it's knowledge with ac. No, I yeah, I didn't know that I thought there was a g in there somewhere at one g acknowledge No, yeah, yeah, that's a toughie I remember what I got out on for the fifth grade spelling bee Yeah, you got the placement for over me and then the word you spelled wrong. I never I'll never forget how mad I was I spelled subtle wrong. They gave me subtle subtle stuff as a fifth grader Yeah, and then what did you get wrong on stage travel travel?

I remember it is le what a bitch What a dumbass and your dad was coming to watch and he was like walking in as you did really Yeah, I remember that as such a disappointment to my dad. Yeah, I mean aren't we all our dads are idiots so it doesn't even matter I love my mom and dad. I just want to make sure everyone knows that Yeah, they're they're dope. Um, they could be a little dumb, but so can we damn. I didn't remember that I'm about the spelling bee. I was super butt hurt about that. I remember you being really upset about it Because subtle you ever like spell a word correctly, but just stared at you like, you know, this can't be correct

I looked at the word pony once for like 20 minutes. Joe. I did the same thing to the word. Yes Yes, yeah, this is bad. I was just like These are like I got like so into I was like, yeah, these are letters. Yeah, why does e like yeah, it was so weird or wood would I was looking at and I'm like No, this can't be right. I like I like typed it into google. I'm like, it's there too. I'm like, I don't know though Like I didn't I didn't trust google for a second. I was like wait, hold on I don't know about this shit. I don't know though. Yeah, it's like I know you said that I know I said that but That's kind of show work. That's really tough. Yeah, I don't know sometimes. He's just like I do that with like objects too

Like a stop sign Like I stared at a stop side once for a good minute and I was in a car like I had a move were you Hi, no, I was not under any sort of intoxicants because I was driving And I was really That was like a PSA real quick. I was driving do not drive and do drugs Don't So Um, what the fuck was I gonna say? No, no, we've gotten way off the rails. Yeah, I don't know where the hell we even were

I don't know either. We were talking about logan paul. I got here somewhere. Yeah. Goodbye. And then we got the philly There's psychos. Yeah, they're nice. They're you know, they were setting fires in the street That was the one thing I wanted to say so I retweeted that Article about the guy eating horseshit or whatever. I was like, okay They celebrate a little differently than I than I do. Yeah, and someone was like, dude, you'd be so jealous We made a fire in the middle of the street. I'm like literally no part of me That's not hard either like to make a fire in the street. You take paper. You have lighters. It's not like if this was like 200,000 bc I'd be like, whoa

But it's not You'd be so jealous. We had fires in the street. Dude, that's sick. I don't even and how about the people flipping cars What is that? That's first of all hilarious. No, it's not even happen to my car I'd be pissed but I also know my insurance would cover it No, dude, that's fucking nuts Like crazy crazy I saw a video of this like crazy white dude who like there was like a bunch of people and they like flipped a car And then he turned around took his shirt off and was banging on his chest and screaming

Like you don't just put a bullet in that guy Like this guy's clearly tell me you've never been so hyped that you wanted to flip a car Dude, we want to we want to match a fortnight the other day. I almost flipped my my entire bed No, I've never wanted to flip a car That's that's that's really nuts I would feel bad if it was someone else's car But like if it was my car and it was a piece of shit I'd be super down to flip it and then I just say someone else flip dude. Yeah flip your own car flip your car

So then it's not about flipping the car that's upsetting you. It's about flipping someone else's car. Of course. Oh, okay Yeah, I don't know. I'm with you on that one What that's obvious. No, no, I you just said the whole flipping of the car like I have been I still don't get that like oh god. I'm hype. Let's go flip something I have been so hype that I would like the things that I've thought about doing because of how excited I am was like irrational Like stupid irrational I don't know. I can't relate to this. I'll be honest with you. Really? Like I've like openly said like I was so hype. I'd like

Punch a brick wall until my knuckles bleed I didn't do it, but I would come with you being excited, man It's a little too fucking excited. I was really excited. I like screaming my pillow Do you do that? When I'm angry, I almost passed out once when I like playing call of duty full circle There you go. When I'm playing call of duty and like something happens. I will scream into a pillow rage quit joe You are bad with it. Yeah, you are literally we'll just we'll hear joe

He's like, oh my god, and it like starts like low like Like three max like three kills in it's like, oh my god, yo Oh my god, oh And then and then we just hear off camera We can't help but laugh and then after if it gets worse than that then he just Quits. No, but I usually say I usually like earlier on the match. I'm like, this is gonna be the one guys So what we were up by like 10 or 12 kills with no joke a minute left Not even it was like 20 kills with like a minute left

We were gonna win 100 and that was positive and and joey was positive. I was like seven and three And he was just like Gone and we're like, yo, we we just won like he didn't get the he got the loss. That was so mad. I was like, fuck this That's what happens though. We got a rage quit sometimes got a rage quit. You're on a Rage quit this. Yeah, we'll rage quit this. How do we do that? I don't know. Where can they find you? Uh, I always say in a ditch, but no, um I gotta get better jokes. Everyone laugh it up. Everyone laugh it up Uh, frank underscore alvarez 80 on twitter f alvarez underscore 80 on instagram

I also do a wrestling podcast for those of you guys out there that like talk about wrestling And we also talk about just like lives and relate it back to wrestling sometimes. It's called the squared circle jerks You can find us on twitter at scj pod. It's really easy And uh, yeah, uh, you want to rage quit this? How do we do it? Um, I don't know