The Basement Yard - Reliving The College Days

Episode Date: October 24, 2017

Just go follow @TotalRyanLynchMove on Instagram. And Twitter too @IRyanILynch. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to The Basement Yard. Today I am joined by Frankie wearing a Dunder Mifflin shirt. Love it. You gotta. Love it. I still need to buy the one, the one from the episode where they did the fun run, where it was like Dunder Mifflin race for the cure for to stop.

Oh my God. Fettuccine Alfredo, got a carb up? Got a carb up. I've never eaten so much Fettuccine Alfredo and drank less water in my entire life. Fucking great. Anyway, me and Frankie just had a nice weekend and this sounds like we went on a vacation.

We went on a date, a little date together. No, we went to Homecoming at your alma mater. Yeah. My alma mater, University of New Haven, went over there. Literally the last second decision by you. Right, yeah. Literally, like the morning of, I was like, all right, you've convinced me, I'll go.

And like, not like the morning of and we're leaving at noon. The morning of and we were leaving in 10 minutes. Yeah. I was like, yeah, pick me up. Fuck it, I'm in. I was waiting for Pete because Pete decided that at, if our planes were to leave at 9 a.m., so Pete decided to get into Uber at 8.45

from the Upper West Side. Yeah. Dumbest fucking move. And I was like, yo, Joey, I got time. Do you want to come? And you were like, what's it gonna be? And I was like, an entire day of drinking. And you're like, I've waited long enough for this.

I waited a month, I'm ready to drink now. And I broke my two weeks spell, but I feel good. Like I didn't feel awful. Right. I mean, I felt awful the day after. I didn't feel great the day after. No, I didn't feel good at all. I did not.

I didn't do anything. It was fucking, it was Sunday. I didn't even watch any of the football games. I bought video games. I watched the Jack game and then I bought a video game and just played it for the rest of the day. What game? The Shadow War, Middle Earth.

Oh, how was that? Fucking heat. Is it? It is heat. I know you've never played like any of the Batman Arkham series games, but it's pretty much that. Just in the Lord of the Rings universe. Just hornier.

Oh my God. So much like, I literally from like a hundred feet away, if I aim at someone with my bow, I can transport over to them and just fucking knife them in the back of the head. Great. I wish I could do that in like real life to be so dope. You could.

Not good with a bow. I mean, well, have you ever shot archery? You mean a bow and arrow? Yeah. Well, bow and arrow, but tomato, tomato. Yeah. It's fucking dope. Shot one.

It's pretty tough. It is hard. Anyway, yeah, we had a good weekend. Yeah. We got drunk. We went to a tailgate. It was kind of fun. I met some cool people who knew who I was.

One girl in particular came up to me. Really weird compliment. Still trying to figure it out, but she can't. Well, this girl came up to me and she goes, are you Joe? And I was like, yeah. She goes, I didn't expect you to look like this. That was like, what?

That's hard. That's right down the middle. You don't know where she's going from there. I just assumed it was bad. So I was like, this is all I got. Well, it was like, it was so weird because I think people that knew me, that knew that I knew you didn't want to come up to me

and make it seem like they were only coming up to me because I was with you. So this one girl that I know comes up to me and she's like, hey, so how's it going? And I'm like, good, good. How you doing? Good. How's life?

Good. You moved to this place? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did. And then out of nowhere, she just like stands like directly next to me and like crosses her arms and she looks at you and she goes, look at him go. I was like, what?

Like parents had a soccer game. Look at him go. Like she was the most proud soccer mom that I've ever seen in my entire life. And I think that makes it significantly more awkward when you know, like she wanted nothing to do with me. And this is someone I knew. Like I had a friendly relationship with this person.

You know what I mean? And she had zero want to talk to me, which I don't blame her. Let's be completely honest. But I don't know about you. I completely overestimated how much I would be able to drink. In like, you thought you're gonna drink less or more? Significantly more.

We didn't even touch the 30 rack that we had. Oh, no, I touched that. Oh, I didn't touch it. Oh, I touched it. I went that bottle of champagne with Tim which is psychotic. It's noon and Frankie's drinking a bottle of champagne. People drink mimosas at like 9 a.m.

Oh, by the way, there was another girl at that tailgate who had a giant like Hawaiian punch three gallon thing filled with orange juice and champagne. She's like, hey, tip that both that. I was like, you're gonna get a fucking ulcer if you drink that whole thing, lady. All right, set it down. Dude, I don't know.

Well, you don't like orange juice in mass quantities as it is. No, it's not that I don't like it. I love orange juice. You can only drink so much of it before your chest starts to burn. I can drink a lot of it. Oh, I can't.

There was that one day me, Davino and Ahmed went to true and had all those mimosas. And I kid you not, we had like 15 each between Davino and I. Davino got sick in the bathroom, which was great. Which was frat, which is so frat. He did it for state. Yeah.

I can drink that shit all fucking day and bloodies too, I love bloodies. Oh yeah, bloodies are a fucking joke. What is this? Awesome. Bloodies look like a drunk eight year old made a drink. It's pretty much. It's tomato juice with a stick of celery in it

and like fucking kale or some shit. And like salsa. What is in there? You gotta be careful, like a good bloody is really good. And then if you fuck it up, it's the worst thing in the world. I don't wanna drink anything that has the word bloody in it, by the way.

That already set me off. Yeah, I could see that. The name is not appealing. Bloody Mary. But it is delicious. True has a really fucking good Bloody Mary. Really good. I can't get behind that.

I'm sorry. Yeah, and then at night, so we definitely overestimated how much we can drink. We were pretty drunk. Super drunk. Quick. And I was so convinced that I wasn't too. How long were we back at the apartment for

before we went out? It's all a blur, it all blurs together. I feel like we were there for a decent amount of time, honestly. Yeah, I know I napped at least for 20, what felt like 20 minutes. I honestly, looking back on it, don't know what happened in between

getting the tailgate and then going out. I don't remember that. Yeah, I don't know. I think we just sat on the porch and had some beers. No, we also ate, we had some pizza then too. Oh, right. Oh, I slammed fucking like nine slices. A lot of pizza.

And I haven't had pizza in so long. And then we went downtown New Haven. Yes. Lot of fun, love it. Right. We started off at Elm City Social. Right. Had some rubber ducky.

First of all, shout out to our boy, Ryan Lynch. Ooh. Guy's a great guy. First time I've met him, love the guy. He's a 10. Love the guy. He's a 10. And if you guys want to follow him on Instagram,

please, yo, guys, please, please go follow Ryan Lynch. Yo, he will be so high. What is it? Total Ryan Lynch move? Total Ryan Lynch move. I think, and on Twitter, he's even more heat. Have you followed him on Twitter? I haven't, but this kid is fucking hysterical.

Guys, please, if you've done anything for me in your entire lives, go on Instagram and go on Twitter, follow Total Ryan Lynch move. And on Twitter, I don't know if that's an I or an L, but just look up Ryan Lynch. And it's a picture of a white kid eating wings. That's the best way. Ryan Lynch, there's no way around it.

I mean, just listen to his bio, your mom's favorite impressingly average, occasional luncheater, believer, Hollister model, applicant, six foot on rollerblades, recreational zoologist, and Insta model. I'm telling you, the kid is a 10. Kids, kids just, he's just making money. Yeah, so he gets up and gives an impromptu speech.

Yeah, we're like, give a speech. So he stops the whole fucking place. And we're like, excuse me, is he everybody? First of all, we asked the bartender, he's like, you have a fork? And he goes like, what? You wanted to clink the glass? Hit the glass.

And the bartender's like, what? And then he had to like find a fork, he got a fork. And then Lynch gets up there. It's excuse me. Drops the ball. And then we're all like, we shushed the whole place. Everyone turns quiet, looking at Lynch and he goes, thank you for everyone to join us on this momentous occasion.

Here's to the bride and groom. That's it. And there was no bride, no groom. And like, it's even funnier. We have a video of it. What makes it even better is that we expected so much more out of him. And after he was done, he like turned around

and walked back inside. Like he had a reason to go back in there as we're all outside. And he just looked so uncomfortable. It was great. That kid's great. And then Elm City Social had some rubber duckies, went over to Dronomos, Tequila Bar,

which I think that's what propelled the night into. Tequila is never good for me, dude. It's just not. I think that's what propelled the night into what was the eventual end of it. Yeah, I don't know. Because we ended up at the karaoke bar, karaoke heroes.

Well, I mean. Well, we went the first time and got kicked out. Right. We walked in and they were like, nope. Get the fuck out. They were like, all right, cool. Didn't even want to go there. Yeah, they were like private party for Yale students.

And we walked in and there was like kids sitting at their tables, like looking at each other and like fucking full suits. And the guy's like, you guys went Yale? And we're like, yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. And then he's like.

Fucking no shot, you idiots. So they kicked us out. Yeah. To their fucking, we would have had that place jumping early. Right. We had to go back out. Where do we go after that?

I don't even remember. I think that was between, I think we went there. And then Geronimo. And then Geronimo's. Right. And then later on we went back. We're like, you know what? We got kicked out of here one time.

Take two. Let's try this one more go. And we got in and it was great. That place. And then that place, the fuck up. I'll be honest. Let's see here. So we had, the way you worked with requesting songs

is you would go up to the bar. They'd give you a piece of like slip of paper. One, two or three. Yeah, they gave you like three if you ordered a drink. Yeah. And you request the song and then there's like just a screen in like the main room. And when your song comes on, you're supposed to go up

to the person that has the mic. Hey, like my song. Right. We didn't let anyone take the mic. That didn't happen at all. Someone made the mistake of giving us the mic. Oh no, it was our song. I forgot which one it was.

Well, I'm glad it wasn't hit them up like we had originally. Oh, we requested hit them up by two pocket. If that would have came on, we literally would have been arrested. Yeah. I think the first one we did was Fat Bottom Girls. Yes, it was. It was Fat Bottom Girls by Queen.

That's always a hard go to start. It's either that or like Dream On or Hey Jude. It's one of those. Hey Jude's a nightender, but Fat Bottom Girls is a strong start. I hear you. But we did that. And then as soon as we got the mics,

we did not let them go. Oh no. Nope. So they had to bring out new mics and turned off the ones that we had. I remember at one point, I forgot what song it was, but I think it was like Ice, Ice Baby or some shit,

which I oddly enough know all the words to. And I'm just fucking like rapping as hard as someone can rap Ice, Ice Baby. And I look at the mic and I'm like, this thing isn't on. And I'm like hitting it and shit. And then I just went and took it from somebody else again. We had the mics and like they have like a separate TV that has like the words on it.

And then there's like a next up list of whatever. We didn't know any of these. We didn't request any of these. And we sang all of them. Every single one. They shut our mics off. And then we took the mics from other people who were supposed to sing.

And then pretty much incited a riot when they played, I wanna dance with somebody. Oh, that was really fucking awesome. I've never seen, like, I've never been to that place before. Really? That night. That was my first time.

And I thought it was gonna be like a typical karaoke place. Like they have a small like communal area and they have private rooms, which they did have private rooms. But that was the first karaoke place I've been to where I'd rather be in the communal area than the fucking private room. That place was pretty much a nightclub

when Whitney Houston came on. Whitney Houston. And rightfully so. Oh, she tore the place down. Pore it down. She didn't hesitate at all. It was gone when she came up to sing. Oh yeah.

That place was jumping. Yeah. It was a lot of fun. That was fucking a lot, a lot, a lot of fun. And now we're trying to, cause Lynch lives in Nashville. So we're trying to see if we can plan a trip down to Nashville.

We're pretty much every bar is a karaoke bar if you have the confidence. Yeah. Any bar, really? Yeah, really any bar is a karaoke bar. The world is your karaoke bar. You just gotta sing loud enough. You know what?

That's t-shirt worthy. That's beautiful. That's t-shirt worthy, honestly. Some girl on Tumblr is loving that quote. I would Tumblr the shit out of that. Yeah, she's just like. It would be Tumblin' all night. Yeah.

But we were pretty drunk. Yeah, I was blackout. But hold on. I just, so let's get Ryan Lynch that we keep talking about. By the way, again, go follow this man. Listen, you'll not be disappointed. I just wanna see his reaction.

I just wanna see his reaction to this. He will not be disappointed. I cannot wait. And we're not gonna tell him either. He's gonna deliver too. Yeah, we're not gonna tell him. We're not gonna tell him either. He's gonna deliver.

He has a picture of him funneling spaghetti. We're just fucking incredible. But in the group chat that we had with all of us who were up there, there was a video of Lynch and. Oh, the video of him at the Billy Joel concert. Dude, he's at the Billy Joel concert. Was it the one that I was at?

No, this was years ago. He showed it to me like two, three years ago. So do you know like the story behind it? I have no idea. I only saw the video. So the video to give you guys some insight is this kid Ryan Lynch obliterated, passed out, literally. You hear Billy Joel blasting at fucking MSG

and he's playing like a hit. Like he's playing like, you may be right. You know, you may be right. And Lynch is just out and he just has his hand ever so limp in his other hand. Just lightly clapping, eyes closed, lightly clapping. So when he first showed that to me, I couldn't breathe naturally.

Oh man. And he like had to get through security with a full water bottle of vodka. Right. And they were like confiscating people's shit. So he chugged an entire bottle of vodka basically. Water bottle. That's psychotic.

And threw up everywhere. Right. Like all over the floor. It was like VIP seating too. Cause his buddy got the ticket from like his father who's fucking loaded or some shit. And they just destroyed. And what's even better is that his buddy in the video

was blacked out texting on his phone. His phone is off. So it's the most dysfunctional fucking video I've ever seen in my entire life. There has to be like the most drunk that kid's ever been in his entire life. Probably. What's the most drunk you've ever been?

Oh God. I don't know. I mean there's only two times that come to mind. One of them I feel like I've said it before where it was when this kid Pete in our neighborhood he had like a going away party in his yard. And that whole summer I think I was like 19 or 20 years old.

That whole summer I was like drinking beers and like that was like my prime where I was like I'm a kid. I'll just fucking do this dude. I don't care. I was shotgun right now. Yeah. Like I was drinking like anytime we were in Connecticut

I would have like literally 18 to 20 beers and it was just disgusting. But you would feel great the next time. Yeah I would feel totally fine just cause I'm just like a fucking child. You know what I mean? Just chilling dude. So that night he didn't really have any beers.

He just had like a bunch of liquor. So I was like all right whatever. And he had this cotton candy vodka. It was really good. It was pinnacle. I was gonna say it's gotta be pinnacle. Yeah it was pinnacle. It was pinnacle.

Yeah. Cotton candy pinnacle. And I was like well this is good. And then I was just like ripping shots of that shit. And I was drinking it like it was beer just because that was what had been drinking. You know what I mean? Just habitually just drinking too much of it.

You know you have a beer in your hand. You sip it all the time. Yeah. So I was just I got so drunk. And Tim who is on Veterans minimum with me he showed up late to this party and I was sitting on the side of the house. He's like dude I looked into your eyes

and there was no one in there. Like you were fucked. Well that's how you were in Vegas last year. Not this recent trip the one last year. Oh yeah. That was fucked. After we went to when we were in what republic?

What republic. It was terrible. I literally, first of all I thought I lost you. I think I'm pretty sure we've told this story before. Thought I lost you. And then we're in the room and guys the videos I have of him were too drunk. He's going on literally he had a full like

two and a half minute rant about the idea of money. He's like yo he's holding up a $20 bill. He's like yo this is just paper. But according to you is we're 20 papers. Yeah. That I literally to like you were a vessel. Your body was hollow at that point. I was not good.

I was not good. Skin and bones no soul behind those eyes. Not nothing whatsoever. It was bad. There was the first time I ever. Oh by the way that night that I'm talking about where I got really drunk I walked outside and then Espos saw me and was like

where the fuck are you going? Cause I think I was planning on just walking home. And it's not that far but it's like I should not have gone. You should not have walked home. Yeah so I got to like the front of the house and Espos was like what the fuck are you doing? And I was like I'm going home.

He's like no. He's like I'll fucking drive you. I just got here. So he ended up driving me home and then when I got home I was laying in bed and I was like nope got up. I threw up in the, I was sitting on the toilet and then I threw up in the tub.

Cause it's like right next to it. And it was like brown. Like it was, it looked like I shit out of my mouth. And then when I woke up in the morning my mom comes in the room she goes whose boxers are in the toilet? And I look and I have that night. Yeah and I have mine on.

I look over at Keith and he was like there's a smoke. So my mom was like yo you guys are fucking like animals. Blackout Keith is something else. I don't know. There are some nights that come to memory. I mean the first time I ever had Jose Cuervo which is literally. Metal.

Gorillapis. Gorillapis. I woke up the next morning covered in salt in my bathtub. What? Yeah because we were doing salt with the shots. I remember it was like. Yeah but you put like a little dab on your wrist. I think we had like the whole salt like shaker thing with us.

Jesus. It was fucking rough. But then do you remember the four loco night? In Connecticut? Yeah. Oh yeah. Fist fought Josh. So it was me, you, Josh and.

Espo. Espo. And Keith was there too. Right. But he didn't drink nearly as much as that. I mean you and Josh like had three four locos. No, no, I had two fucking three Jesus Christ. Either way I was fucking literally

we almost burnt the place of the ground. We started a fire which we should not have done in hindsight. Big mistake. Big mistake. You threw cardboard in it and that just burns and then flies in the air. So there was like embers flying all over the floor. And it wasn't like a built like a ground fire pit.

It was one of those like portable ones that you can like put down and move. So the box that I put in there was about twice the size of the fit itself, which was fucking awful. And then do you remember the night where we passed out on the deck of the clubhouse? Yes. That was disgusting as well.

That was kind of like when we were younger and like that's what I'm talking about like during this time where I was just like, yeah, 20 beers, like whatever. We drank an 18 pack of Budweiser and then we started chugging out of a Smirmoff bottle. A Smirmoff. I can't speak. I know.

No, I, and that's why I don't do vodka because that fucking night and then the daylight for me in Vegas on vodka, I was, that was a bad one too. Dude, I hate vodka. I can't do it. It's terrible. No, it's too, it's too rough.

I can't do it. I don't know why. I can do whiskey, I can do rum. Vodka just turns me into a fucking psycho. Yeah. I become like a 1950s piece of shit. What does that mean? You know exactly what it means. I don't.

What does that mean? Like you hit your wife or something? No, I don't hit my wife, but like I don't know. I just become like a fucking like a drunk. Like I feel like when I drink vodka, I feel like I need to be slouched in my chair with a fucking, I don't smoke cigarettes, but with a cigarette.

Why are you saying cigarette? Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette. That's how I've always had it. You say cigarette?

Yeah. That's fucking stupid. Cigarette. That's why I say that. No, I'm kidding. I've always. Smoking. Cigarette. I've always said it that way.

Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette. Tomato, tomato, coffee, coffee. You know no one says tomato in the whole world.

Or potato. No, in England. I watch a lot of Gordon Ramsay. They say potato. I've never heard potato. I've heard tomato. And oregano. And for some reason.

Oregano. Who's the fucking idiot who says that? I don't know. And for some reason they say aluminum for aluminum. Aluminium. They're adding in eyes that don't exist. Aluminium sounds pretty fucking sci-fi. There's eyes in there that do not belong.

Aluminium. That sounds like a spaceship. Exactly what it sounds like. Let me get some aluminum. I'm down with that though. It's kind of dope. Yeah, I got it in me. I like that.

But yeah, Gordon Ramsay says tomato. So maybe he says potato. I doubt it. Yeah, I've never heard the potato one either. I don't know where we just went, just honestly, just now. Yeah, but there have been some, I'm glad that we're cutting back

on our alcohol consumption now. Cause we're getting at that age where we're finally realizing that it fucking sucks the next day. Really bad. You know what it is? I don't know if I am cutting back really. But recently I did.

If I continue to drink the way that I was, I was gonna be just like a big fat piece of shit. Yeah. Dude, I have like a before picture before I started seriously working out and dieting and stuff. And by God, it's bad. It's really bad.

Well, on this current workout plan that we are doing, I took like pictures that like when we started and then week three and then this week, week six. I was gross. Still gross, not as gross. Not as gross as before. Dude, I feel like people would be like, that's not you.

If I brought my face out, like I was discussing. Yeah, but you've never like looked that different. Like you've always like for the most part, like you've kept like any weight gain in your gut. Like my weight gain is a little more obvious cause I get like fucking fat in the face. I get fat in the face. What was your heaviest?

187. Get the fuck out of here. What? Is that a lot or a little? That's not a lot. Well, for me, it is. My heaviest was like 225. You're also taller than I am.

Not by much, by what? Two inches, three inches? Yeah, I don't know. I also have more fucking body mass, so stop. No, I don't know. That was like, yeah, that was my heaviest, 187. Wow, that's crazy. Last year I dropped to 187 after I had surgery

and that was like the lightest I'd been in seven years since high school. Literally since high school. It's lit, dude. Super lit. I guess. I gotta do these sponsors here. We have two of them today.

Here we go. First one, Harry's Razors. Hello, what do you love most about shaving with Harry's? I wasn't supposed to read that. All right, fuck it, here we go. Jeff and Andy, two ordinary guys who are fed up with buying overpriced razors started Harry's to fix shaving, bought their own German factory.

What? Did you know shaving has been broken for a while? And Jeff and Andy? They fixed it. They fixed it. They also, how do you buy a German factory? Super lit. What does it say on the front?

With over nine? Just German. It just says German and it's a factory and you buy it. Harry's offers their blades at half the price of the leading five blade razor, selling directly to you over the internet. You can claim your free trial offer from Harry's today, $13 value for free when you sign up, just cover shipping.

Your free trial set includes a weighted razor handle, five precision engineered blades with lubricating strip and trimmer blade, rich lathering shave gel and a travel blade cover. To get your free trial set, go to harrys.com slash basement right now. That's harrys.com slash basement. Also, I've used Harry's before.

It comes in like a really dope package. I fucking actually like Harry's and I'm really anal about what I use to shave my face. I used to use the shittiest razors. Like the 99 cent store fucking disposable. I swear to God, I don't know why. I went through this phase where I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna get these shitty,

they sell them in like a 20 back. It comes in like a Skittle bag and you're like, oh God, and I would use those and it was dangerous. Like one blade. Literally. It's like shaving with a scissor. Basically, it was the fucking worst. Like I said, I actually have used Harry's

and no bullshit, it's pretty fucking dope. Next up, we have MVMT watches. They actually sent me one. They let me pick out a watch from their company. It's like this black on black watch, it's fucking sick. Oh, I saw that one. Yeah. So movement watches, that's what the MVMT stands for.

Movement watches start at $95 at a department store. You're looking at 400 to 500 bucks. They figured out that by selling online, they were able to cut the price, cut the middleman out and retail markup, providing the best possible price. Over one million watches sold in 160 countries. And...

I didn't even know there were that many countries on the planet. Yeah, dude, when the Olympics come around, I'm like, didn't know that was a thing. Yeah, I didn't either. But I'm an idiot, so you know, anyway. Get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMTwatches.com slash basement, okay?

Now is the time to step up your watch game. Go to MVMTwatches.com slash basement. Join the movement. I like, shout out to Jeff and Andy and their German ass factory. Dude, first of all, with names like Jeff and Andy, why not go for the German factory? 100%.

That's the whitest names that you can think of. Oh, yeah. So go for the whitest race. That was a little much. Oh, shit. That was a little much. Yeah, it was, it was over the top, it's fine. What are you gonna do?

I mean, listen, all I'm gonna say is, if you have the opportunity to buy a German factory, you fucking do it. I will put anything in there. Like, if you say anything that you have is from a German factory, eye-opening immediately. Yeah, I'm like, I'm super down to half whatever you have. Super.

Anyway, something happened recently in the news that I wanted to kind of touch on, because we forgot to talk about it. We were planning on talking about it last podcast. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we just didn't get to it because we got really heated over cereals, and God knows what.

What else were we talking about? Well, cereals and fast food restaurants. Oh, right. I'm still upset about that. Listen, I'll never understand some of your decision-making, but I think you think about what is gonna make you run to the bathroom the least quickest, and that's why you like it the most.

Someone tweeted me, it was like, you guys had an argument about cereals, and you didn't, and Raisin' Bran isn't your number one? No, no, no, it wasn't Raisin' Bran. Oh, honey, bunches of oats maybe? No, it was like a total one or some fucking shit. No, it was definitely some of the oats. And I was like, get the fuck out of here, grandma.

Yeah, when I saw your response, I was like, yeah, what a fucking, she's not an idiot, whoever said it. The comment was idiotic, stupid as hell. Oh, shit. But anyway, so what happened in the news, we're talking about this guy Harvey Weinstein, who I don't really know what the fuck he does. He's like the head guy in Hollywood,

he's got all the power, he runs the studio apparently, or some shit like that, and he's just sexually assaulting people left and right. Willie Nilly. It's fucking absurd. Obviously we're not gonna get into a political debate, but I do not fucking understand, you've seen what this guy looks like, right?

Yes. Look, I know my ranking. I can confidently say that is one of the ugliest people I've ever seen in my entire life. Not good. Not good at all. And like these stories that come out about him, don't fucking make sense to me.

Like I was thinking about one this morning, he like was asking these actresses to come to his room and like, uh, I'm just gonna shower, you wanna watch? Yeah, what is that? I don't fucking understand it. Where do you get the bravery to fucking, not even the, just the balls. Do you, I don't think I'm at my,

I'm at my grossest when I'm showering. The things that I do to clean my body are awful. Yeah, I don't like, I don't like when people, you know. How can you sexy shower and get clean? No, no, there's nothing. Sexy showering would clean like from your left shoulder down to like your belly button and that's it, because you just stay up here.

No, I'm a, I fucking wash like, I wash the shit out of my ass. And I didn't mean the, I meant the shit. Like in, like poop. Oh, yeah. I thought you were, I thought you were going with like the aggression. Well, there is aggression.

Okay, but perfect. Imagine that and wanting someone to watch you do that. Yeah, no. That's not appealing. Yeah. And like, I use a bar of soap and I pull out that bar and there's like hair on it. Oh, it's just.

I'll like look at her like, can you see this? Yeah. That's fucking disgusting. Yeah, it's not good. And how much of a piece of shit do you have to be to think that like you can like have power over people by doing something like that? Well, here's the thing, right?

He was kind of in control of their careers. So these. That's what we thought. Well, technically he, I mean, I'm sure he's, he's ruined some people's careers. Like he's tell, he'll tell people like, don't hire this woman because he's, you know, the head of whatever and he calls a shot.

So don't hire this woman. So she can't get work in any of the movies that this studio is making or whatever. So that's why these actresses were like, Jesus, you know, like, all right, then I have to just go through with this or whatever. He like forcibly gave some woman oral sex, which was like, I mean, kind of confusing to me,

honestly, like that doesn't really. Yeah. I mean, what I don't understand is a lot of people have been coming out and saying like, well, why didn't they sit? Why didn't these people say something sooner? Like you need to understand. Why does that even fucking matter?

First of all, yes, why does it matter? And second, unfortunately we still live in a society where people do bring that to people's attention and then it gets swept under the rug and people do their best to just fucking hide it for these people. And that's why people don't want to do it because they know that they're just gonna be labeled

as crazy. They're never gonna get fucking work again. And it's all, it's gonna do more harm than good. So when people are saying like, oh no, everyone's coming out the woodwork, you know, like Woody Allen was one of the people that said like, oh, I don't want this to be a witch hunt. Well, now that women have the platform

and people have the platform to come ahead and share this stuff, this is what we need to know about it because it needs to be fucking corrected. Dude, how about fucking Woody Allen? You know, he like, he married his stepdaughter, just. He like sexually assaulted his fucking kid. She was like 14 when he married her

or some shit like that. What is going on? And also not another attractive guy either. That guy sucks. Everyone's always like, whoa, his movies are funny. I've never laughed at anything that Woody Allen has done ever. Dude, I love Jonah Hill,

but if he married a 14 year old, I'd be like, fuck that guy. Yeah, that'd be so fucking weird. And he's hilarious. Super funny. Yeah, fuck. You know, and then like, I don't know if you've ever heard of those things,

honest trailers, you know, the YouTube guys. Right, right, right. I know them because of you. Yeah, I've always been a big fan of them. I've always liked them. And then it came out that literally a week after the Weinstein thing came out, people came out and started accusing the creator

of these honest trailers of doing the same shit. And it's like, in what fucking world do people honestly nowadays think they can fucking get away with this too? I just want to know the mentality. Like, why? Like, I just don't get it. How delusional do you need to be to think

that you have that power over another human fucking being? It's really fucking sick. To just be like, just invite these people and you know they are not willing because you're a fucking zero out of 10. All these people have one thing in common. They're fucking just not attractive. These dudes are not good looking.

And these actresses are like beautiful people. They obviously want nothing to fucking do with you. So you leverage your fucking whatever it is, your position and you hold their career hostage and you're like, just watch me wash my cock or whatever. I still, obviously the idea of the sexual harassment, the sexual assault is something I will never fucking get. Yeah, I don't get it.

But also beyond that, I'll never get why. Like he like closed the door behind someone and started jerking off like at them. Like he aimed his jerk off at them. Jesus. I'm pretty sure that's a weapon of mass destruction. I am going to agree with you. At that point in time, like biological warfare.

Yeah, that's a dirty bomb. I would get him for that. Like I would, dude, dude. Oh God. I'm not even kidding. Like I would fucking, like I have a, you have a sister, you have a mom. Yeah.

Say what you're going to say. If I, if my sister or my mom ever came to me and said someone fucking did something like that to that, I would saw contraption them with no fucking way out of it. I just watched this movie yesterday, but it's always my point of reference for what I would do to people and like, I'm a nice guy. You know, I'm calm.

I don't like confrontation and stuff like that. But if something like that were to happen to a woman that I love, my mom, my sister, any family members or whoever, law abiding citizen, the beginning of that movie where he's like, I'm going to fuck. He, he gives him some like shit from a puffer fish that paralyzes you, but you feel everything.

And then he just cuts every limb off. I would do that and then sleep like a baby in jail for the rest of my life. Yeah, I, I, that's my point of reference for anything. Like I just think about like, if someone did that to someone in my family, how I would fucking react. Just fucking the grossest fucking, oh God,

I hope this guy just gets fucking. People like are coming forward and being like, well, what can we do to fix this? Shoot them in the mouth or really simple, just fucking treat everyone equally. Don't treat people like they're your fucking toys or pieces of shit. Like how do you stop sexual harassment?

Don't fucking sexually, don't sexually harass people. Don't sexually assault people. That's simple, you're fucking monst. If you need to say, oh, it was really hard for me, I made a mistake, that's a pretty basic human right not to do those things. Yeah. It's very easy not to sexual assault.

It's so, it's one of the easiest things in the world. You and I are literally doing it right now. Right, boom. And anyone listening, I'm guaranteeing they're not sexually assaulting right now. I hope so do I. I hope. I'm gonna bank on yes.

Let's go with yes. Right. But this is just fucking. It's fucking crazy, man. I, and he's always like weird older like white dudes for some reason. Yeah, and people are coming out like Donna Karen who was like a fashion lady, I guess, came out and was like,

well, women, how are we portraying ourselves? She did not say that. Are we asking for it? I swear to God. And it's like, how obtuse can your thinking be? We can't just like hit that woman. I'm sorry for saying that, but I'm just like we, you can't,

like someone should punch her. Like I feel like she needs to get punched. We can't do that, but somebody else can. Yes. Someone needs to punch that woman in the face. It's like. People don't get punched in the face enough. I think that's the problem here.

Yeah. We should like legalize one good punch in the face. As a form of punishment, like either like 30 days in jail or just get rocked by like Mike Tyson too. Like you need to, you need to level it out. Jesus, we don't want to kill anybody. Well, he can control.

He fell off a little bit. He's older now. He's a little older now. It's still a solid hit. Still packs a punch. Still packs a punch. Still got it. 100%.

But you're right. People need to get hit more. Yeah. That's how I learned. Dude, I like that a lot. Like you get like a misdemeanor, just punch them in the face. You know, just fucking deck them.

Not even a misdemeanor. Just like something you shouldn't have said. Like that woman's like, how are you portraying ourselves right in the face? And she's like, well, not going to say that again. I want to get punched. You know who that should be? Like a legitimate form of like punishment for these

fucking like comedy prankster YouTubers. It's a joke. Oh, no, they should all get shot in the thigh. Wow. Yeah, sorry. But that was, that was a lot. I was going to say shin, but then I went thigh. I was like, whatever.

I feel like shin would hurt more. It would, but I feel like it's safer. No matter what happens to my shin, it hurts more than anywhere else on my body. Yeah, I agree. I might want to get kicked in the balls more than I get kicked in the shin. That's tough.

I'm not speaking out my answer right now. Yeah, I don't know what you're doing, you're reading it. These fucking like pranks, like I saw one on Worldstar the other day is some kid like running onto like a street vendors table and just destroying it. Oh, boot gang. And it was like, oh, this is for comp.

What? Yeah, it's getting kind of crazy now. Like you have those Instagram people like, that's the kid boot gang, that kid's crazy. He tattooed, like he thinks he's like the Joker or some shit. But he goes viral for making videos where he's just kind of like stealing shit and like running away from people.

I don't know if they're like set up. Hilarious. And or whatever, but yeah, it's kind of. There was one video I saw that where this guy was going up to people and he was just like going to fucking fight. And people were like, what, dude? What?

And then one fucking guy didn't even say anything, just fucking rocked him. And like he passed out. And it was like, good. Yeah. And then it's like, afterwards they're like, oh, it was a joke, it was a prank. And listen, I'm all for joking, all for pranking.

But if you're gonna fuck with random people and expect that they're not gonna beat the shit out of you, you're an idiot. Yeah, I don't know, man. People will literally do anything for that to happen, for attention. It's sad. It really is sad.

Like why don't, and another thing, and I know I might be going off on a bit of a tangent, but like what else gets under my fucking skin is when people take videos of them like giving shit to the homeless. Look, I'm all for, I think that's awesome. I think it's really nice. But how about you just do it?

Yeah. And don't fucking tweet about it. And don't like just do it. I hate that concept. Yeah, it's, at that point it doesn't feel genuine, right? It's just like, this is for me. It's turning a selfless act into a selfish act. All right.

Look at me, I'm nice, oh. All right, I'm nice. Oh my God. This guy's so nice. It's fucking absurd, dude. Oh man. You know what you're being for Halloween? I do know what I'm being.

I'm doing a couple's costume. Are you like not gonna tell me? No, I'll tell you, I don't care. Beck and I are doing Bugs and Lola Bunny from Space Jam. Oh, heat, right? Wait, you're like, you're gonna get, oh, that's kind of fire. Yeah, we got the jerseys, the shorts,

and we got the ears and all that shit. Wait, is it like a legit costume? Like it's like a, like we put it together. Oh, you made it. Yeah, like we bought- Wait, how the fuck did you make that? We bought the jerseys. Yeah, but I'm saying like you're a fucking bunny.

Oh, we bought the ears. That's it? That's it. Wait, so you're going as you with a jersey on and ears? I'm Bugs Bunny, dude. That fucking sucks. Dude, Bugs Bunny, bro. Are you serious?

Yeah. That's garbage, dude. That's fucking awesome, dude. That's not even a fucking- Okay, what are you being, Joey? Let's break this down. Wait, before we get to me, I just wanted to be clear.

You are wearing a jersey. Yep. Are you wearing on basketball shorts? Basketball shorts, okay, great. High socks, basketball shoes. Great. Bunny tail, bunny ears. That's it.

Yeah. So like your arms are still going to be your arms? Yeah. Why don't you wear just like a Bugs Bunny costume with the thing over it? No. Oh, it'll be less hot. We're going to be drinking on Saturday night.

The only dam to be wearing it. Okay. What? What are you being? Oh, so I'm being a Mugatu from Zoolander. Damn, that's pretty dope. I was psyched when I came up with this. Damn, that's pretty dope.

I was like, yes, I'm going to hold a little dog and shit. So wait, is Sammy being the dark Zoolander? That makes sense. That's pretty good. Thanks. But I still love my... I just thought there was going to be way more efforts there. I mean, you know I love Halloween.

I've gone all out. I've gone all out. That's why I'm shocked. Like that one year you were hard, the two-faced. You were... That shit was fucking dope. That was fucking legit. And I won money for that actually.

Yeah, we won a bar tab. Yeah. Well, I wasn't part of that. I was, and I won it. I don't know, I just didn't want to do less. I've been kind of fucking busy. So I was just like, let me just do less. I'm like, usually we do like wrestlers.

And like even then I was like, no. The year you were Scott Hall, loved it. I went out in that fucking outfit and that was aggressive. Like you went out in like tights. Wrestling tights. The short, like basically a speedo. Yeah, a speedo. Legit.

And it was... I was a lot more comfortable than I thought I would be. Yeah, once you get past everyone, you're like, okay, everyone's seeing me. Yeah. Once you get past that, you're like, you're good. Yeah, and then I was drinking and it wasn't even cold out either.

It was actually kind of nice. I wanted to be Chris Jericho so bad. Last year, my Seth Rollins was dope. Seth Rollins was really good. I had to walk down. We were walking through Manhattan. He did not say a word. Frankie walked like 10 Manhattan blocks

without saying a word and walking like Seth Rollins. And I would just throw my hands up like him every now and then and people were like, no one knew what the fuck I was like. I don't know who the fuck this guy is, but... Yeah, that's the thing about being like modern wrestlers. They're not gonna, like you need to do like old people or else it'll fall flat. Everyone's like Hulk Hogan and shit.

Yeah, Nick was rowdy, rowdy rowdy piper last year. That was good. I like that. I don't like it. I really want to be still cold one year, but I don't want to do it without like a legit Hollywood like quality bald cap. Like I don't want like some dumb shit.

Like I want a legit look bald. You can get it. Yeah, but I can't do it. You can get it and just get like spirit gum and just like glue the sides down. I don't even know what that is. It's like glue that people use for like wigs. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, you can do that easy. You have the vest. I would have done that. You get the belt from Nick. Dude, can you imagine if I was so cold? I'd be stuttering strangers the entire fucking time. That's the danger of it. Yeah, is I wanted, like the night I was Scott Hall,

I had a pocket full of toothpicks that I was throwing at people and they didn't like it. No, they did not. They did not like it. They did not like that at all. That was a good time. You want to do, dude, screw our girlfriends. Do you want to do a best friend costume next year?

Why are you saying it like that? Because, dude. I need you on air to agree to this, so you can't go back on it. Fine, yes. What are we doing? I was gonna say Spade and Farley from fucking Tommy Boy, but they're literally just in suits.

That would have been funny. Yeah. Except you're brown, dude. We can't do that. Who's Farley? I would be Farley. I would be Fat for Farley. He's really gonna commit to the role.

I will commit to the role 110%. I will get Fat for Farley. I will definitely be Fat for Farley. He's a method actor. I am. He'll stay in. I don't know, what other like... Fat for Farley, that's crazy.

Friend, we could be like, we could be wrestlers together. We could be like a tag, we could be like the Hardy Boys. Wow. I'd be Matt, you'd be Jeff. Oh, I'm definitely Jeff. Could we do like Broken Matt though?

Ooh. We should have done that this year. Yeah, we should have. We fucked up. Oh, maybe that's what Nick's gonna be. Oh, no, he's not gonna be Matt. No, Nick told me what he's gonna be. Oh, okay.

Do you know? No. Do you wanna know? Yeah. It's the least... Like, if you could guess what Nick would be outside of Hugh Hefner as a Halloween costume. Velvenous.

No, not a wrestler, just like a regular run of the mill, like a caricature. Oh, I don't know. He's being a nerd. A nerd? Yeah. No, he told me he was being a wrestler.

No, he told me he was being, literally we spoke about this the other day. Oh, I don't think so. He tells us different things. He tells me one, you the other. Yeah, he's listening right now. Nick, you lion sack of shit. He's, you know what he is?

He's lion. Nick always hypes up his Halloween costumes. Like he never tells anyone. He doesn't tell anyone, but he's, they're actually not bad. Like, they're good. They're good. He's got good costumes.

He was out of snow. Amazing. That was a good one. He was pretty pipe. It was pretty good too. It was the only two I ever read. Who was he? Was he, he was Sting.

Oh, Sting was another good one. Sting was a good one. Yeah, he's got good ones. He doesn't tell anybody. He had the bat, which was really funny. Yeah, it is. The gumball bat. Oh, it was the gumball bat, yeah.

Oh, shit. Yeah. I feel like if we're going to do like, best friend ones, they need to be like, good. Could we be like, I don't know. Mario and Luigi. Okay.

Let's be cat dog and just be connected. I swear to God, I will do it. Do not fuck with me. I will do it. Which one would you be? Cat. I'm super down with dog. I'm so down for cat dog.

I don't even know if that's possible. We just like, our legs will be like our paws. Just be on our hands the whole night. No, our legs will be our paws. And we'll just like, have like the head is like our head and like our arms. Whatever, they'll be there. And we'll have to be attached.

I don't really know what you're saying, but. So you know how it's like connected and then there's two legs on each side, like their paws. Right. Our legs will be the paws. I know how cat dog works, yeah. And then our heads will just be like,

I'll be cat, which is literally just a red nose and cat ears and you'll be dog, which is like a purple spot around your eye and dog ears. And then we'll just like be connected by something. All right. And then we'll sing the song. Or we can be the dudes from Spaceballs. You could be the big.

Oh, Barf. Barf and, oh God, what's his name? I always fucking, Bill Pullman's character. It always fucking escapes me. Or I could be a fucking Mel Brooks. Yogurt. The Schwartz. The Schwartz is with ya.

Yeah. Good movie. That's a great movie. Shout to Spaceballs. Oh, super good. They've always said that they were gonna make another one called the quest for more money. But they never have and I would fucking love it.

Yo, Mel Brooks? Genius. Incredible. Genius. I watched History of the World. Insane. I watched Young Frankenstein recently and I was fucking, I love that movie so much.

We should, is he, isn't that? Yeah. Well, I don't know if he's in it. I can't remember off the top of my head, but he directed it. Dude, I fucking love that guy. Young Frankenstein? Oh, man.

What a fucking movie. That's my shit. He's getting up there in age. He's not in 74. He's getting up there in age, man. He ain't gonna be around much longer. I'm trying to see if he was actually in this. Gene Wilder was Dr. Frankenstein.

Yeah. And then Igor and fucking, I don't think he was in it. Gene Hackman was the blind man? Oh, yeah, that's right. I was gonna make espresso. What a good fucking movie, man. No, but I don't think he's in it, but he directed it. Good movie.

Anyway, let's wrap this up. Let's do it. Let's wrap it, dude. I'm tired. I'm tired, too. Frank, where can they find you? On Twitter, you can find me at frank underscore alvariz80. I also do a wrestling podcast called

the squared circle jerks. If you guys like WWE, TNA, Ring of Honor, NXT, PWG, Chikara, I can go on forever, or CZW. We talk about that stuff. We're called the squared circle jerks. You can follow us on Twitter at scjpod. And then you can find us on SoundCloud and on iTunes. Then on Instagram, F alvariz80.

Real simple, real easy. All right. And guys, that is all. Thanks for listening.