The Basement Yard - Sex World Records

Episode Date: April 11, 2017

I'm joined by my brother @KeithSantagato & @GregDybec to talk about Greg's worst sexual experiences & the sex world records. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to The Basement Yard, my name is Joe Sanagato, and if you're new to the show, that's fine. On this show, we just come here and we talk some shit, usually with my friends and family. Today, I'm joined by my brother Keith and my buddy Greg. Nice. I've never done it. I don't really know what that was. Let's go. But whatever.

This show is also now available on full screen. It's a talk show. You can watch it. Last week, we filmed an episode with Davino that you could probably watch right now. He was hammered. I wasn't looking at the right camera at all and I almost did the same fucking thing. Visibly hammered. But if you go to fullscreen.com slash basement yard, you can watch it.

You can sign up and you get the first month free if you put in the promo code basement. Also, there's going to be a 15 minute extra show afterwards that is available on full screen. And that's only available on full screen. So go watch that. A lot of fun. Oh yeah. But yeah, today, joined by these fuckers. Greg, of course, I do other people's lives with the other podcast where we just interview

people that we found on Craigslist and the people of the internet. The people of the internet. I think that is fucking great. It is. Today, we talked to a furry, which I was really excited about because I haven't. I've been wanting to dive into that shit for souls. He's been talking about furries every day for like six months. Let me ask you something.

When you think of furry, what do you think? A lot of hair. No. Like a fifth-aged, seventies porno. Do you know what furries are? I know what it is. What is it? It's like your dress up is like a fucking chipmunk and fuck the other one.

See, that's a common misconception. But the first thing I thought- Well, you're wrong. Yeah, you're wrong. I mean, technically, you're not wrong. It's not, there's more to it. It's just not, you know. There's more in depth.

It's not just chipmunks. There's also like, you know, links and boxes. Links? Yeah, goats. Goats? Yeah. He said his favorite animal was a monkey. That's what he would do.

Wait, so you could just dress up as anything. Yeah, you could just go for it. Like frog or like anything you want. You create a personality and then you get a costume to match. So you're like role-playing kind of. Yeah, it's role-playing. And you go to like conventions, like Comic-Con. Yeah.

It's a community. Exactly. All right. That's really interesting. But when I was younger and I heard the first time I heard Furry, I thought it was just like, bushy, pubic hair. Like people who were fur, like were just rolling it out on purpose. All right.

Or that talking fucking owl looking thing. The Furby. Furby. Oh. Wow, I haven't seen one of those since fucking 1988. I don't ever want to see one. They're creepy. You kind of look like one, I'll be honest.

With the facial hair now, it's coming in, it's getting orange. Those things definitely recorded. Do you know probably in one of these cameras? That's how they were keeping track of us. What? Everyone had a Furby. So the Furby's were like. There were definitely cameras in the eyes.

Oh, yeah. That's like the webcam thing, the fucking government's watching you. The microwave. Yeah. One of the guys who produces this show, he opened his laptop the other day. He had the webcam taped off. Like you're fucking one of those people? Do you tape your webcam?

No, no. I know people who do, though. Do you guys tape your webcam? No, bro. I don't care. You tape your webcam? Yeah. What?

Just they might be watching you. But what are you doing? Are you murdering me? Yeah, seriously, like. Do you not see the episode of Black Mirror where you're fucking? Which one? I just started that show and I told them I'm not that deep into it. Oh, Black Mirror.

Yeah. But wait, no. Here's my thing. If I'm tape, like, why am I taping? If they're going to watch me jerk off like, okay. Sorry, you got me. That's not like they're going to put it out. That probably is most people's fear, too.

What? Watching you jerk off? That's the government, but they're probably just afraid. And then you end up on you just like, that's how it works. Yeah, but I'm sure you get some royalties or something from that, right? No. Personal experiences. Trust me.

No, I mean, I don't care if people watch me jerk off. I mean, I do. But not if they're like working for the government and shit. I'm going to say, like, you don't care, like, at all? I'm not like murdering in my house. Also, who jerks off with laptops and stuff? You don't use your phone? Yeah, I use my phone.

I would say 90% of the times I jerk off. 97%. I use, look, I went on a spree where I use my phone because, you remember that? You get like that FBI warning. It pops up and it's like, yo, you got to pay us. I shit my pants. Yo, time out, Keith. I actually called you.

He called me. He goes, yo, I got a fucking phone. It's embarrassing. He goes, yo, I got this because what they say is that you're looking at child porn. I'm like, no. I was like, wait a minute. Let's go through the history. He's a joy swerve.

A guy was looking at child porn. Yeah. Every time I can see teen in the fucking description now. Nope. Nope. Now it's mills and nothing. Yeah. Grandma porn only.

I'm staying safe. Guilts and hire. Guilts? What's higher than that? Corpses. Great. Great Guilts. You say corpses.

I did. I'm sorry. Wow. Is that even like a genre? You guys don't jerk off to frame pictures of your girlfriend? I thought you were going to say you don't jerk off the corpses. To frame. You say it.

What did you say? I thought you were going to say you don't jerk off the corpses. What did you say? Frame pictures of your girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend. What, is she watching this and you're going to like, you're like, oh babe, look what I said. You definitely, like, that'd be funny though if you did have a framed picture of your

girlfriend who's naked. That's just like on an end table next to a candle frame picture anyway. Yeah. If you're still jerking off to pictures, there's something completely wrong with you. We're like magazines. I feel like a magazine just can't do it for you. No. No pictures.

Let it move. At least be a GIF. I might get a jump. At least be like a GIF, you know? Something that's moving. Like a holographic picture where it's somewhat moving. Shining in the water. A holographic Pokemon car.

Exactly. No, but yeah. What were we talking about? I don't fucking know. Oh, furries. Furries. And then I went into Furby and then we went into porn. Who knows?

This is going to take a turn. I can tell this episode's going to be a fucking disaster already. Furries. Yeah, I thought it was just people who were just growing out their fucking bush. I thought it was like, like Alvin in the chipmunk. I feel like you haven't, you haven't shaved your dick since like, like 1997. I got like a Colin Kaepernick haircut. I believe you.

Yeah. What's wrong with you? I don't know. It's laziness. Do you buzz? Buzz? No. I used to shave like a fucking idiot.

See that? I cut myself too. This is what? As opposed to oh, like a razor? Yeah. Cut the sack. And I was like. You tried to shave your sack?

Like shaving cream? Yeah. I don't even use a razor. I have sex every day. Wait, why are you shaving your sack? I don't know. To be honest, it's a weird face. No, how's that possible?

How much hair is on your actual balls? Cause like, I don't even really want to go with the detail with this. I do. I want to know. Yeah, I would love to know this. How do you even shave your balls? Cause first of all, if you're not familiar with balls, it's just like a wrinkly, fucking I have a great thing of like how it goes.

All right. Here we go. Like. Here we go. Like, like, you know, like canvases where they stretch out like an animal fur. No. An animal fur? An animal skin.

So like they have it like as straight as possible. I mean, hands paint on it. Like a wagon. I got to kind of like do that. Who helped shave it? Cause then otherwise my sack will just get in between like five fucking razors. Right. And then there goes my nut sack.

No wonder. So your dick is probably on the mess. I don't think guys shave with, shave their balls with razors. It's been through a couple of wars I guess. No, you don't. That's the thing. You're psychotic. You're going to start rumors about guys.

What? No one shaves their, no one does that. They don't shave their dick. You know what they do? They nare. Nare? Yeah. What?

Nare. Yeah. It's probably like, nare is probably acid. I'm like a really low level. I've heard of burns. I've never done it, but I'm sure that's how they do it. There's no way porn dudes are shaving. They're just like, you need to see follicles.

There doesn't even grow anymore. You can get like laser hair removal. Laser hair removal. By the way, I'm coming off as like the weirdest fucking person right now. Why? Cause you shave your balls? I mean, I used to shave, but I retired that long ago. Bald eagle?

It took too much effort. I don't go bald eagle. Cause like after three days, you're like, I gotta fucking do this again. Yeah. It's got a five o'clock show. He can't do that again. Because you fucking, you start shaving and it's cool. And then two days later, it starts growing again.

You're like, it's all itchy down there. And you can't shave and like go play basketball or anything like that. You gotta shave and just chill. It's like the movie Santa Claus where he shaves in the mirror. And then he fucking grows right back. It's exactly like that. Now it just buzzed and it looked like it's been sitting on the couch all week. Now yeah, mine is.

You gotta figure it out. Mine is, it's curly. It's weird. I think most people, I don't have a hard time buzzing. Yeah, who's got a straight? Who's got a straight? Long locks. Long locks that you can braid.

I gotta get out like a weed whacker to get this thing out. Keith, I'm just honestly blown away by the shit that you're doing. By the way, this is going to sound very weird. Okay. Not weird as I just said. Listen, I'm going to take a poll in the room. I just want everyone to be honest with me, okay? Have you ever jerked off to just like masturbation porn?

Like a chick just masturbated? Yeah. Like a solo? Yeah, like a solo. See, here's the thing, right? He needs a lot going on. See, this is my thing, right? At least three people.

Like a gang bang. A solo? Fuck out of here. No, but here's my thing. What is this music on the back? I was thinking of it and I'm like, because I hate that. Like if I click on a video and it's just a girl and like whatever, I click on it because she had her tits around.

I'm like, oh, sick. This looks dope. And then I start skipping through and then there's not a dick. Wait, you don't like fuck this? You don't preview this? But then do you question yourself? Like, why do I need a dick? At the end of the day?

At the end of the day, I'm like, the dick makes the porn. What's the super bad line? Is it super bad? About vaginas by themselves? Oh, I don't know. Is that super bad? I don't know. Like have you ever seen a vagina by itself?

Like two years? Oh yeah, they're like it's gross. Yeah, not for me. Oh yeah, not for me. Yeah, I don't know. But that was just like a weird thing I discovered the other day. I was like, is this just discovered that? Like what?

Yeah. Because someone brought it up and I was thinking, I was like, dude, if I'm just scrolling through and I'm like, there's no guy in this one, I'm out. It's never my first choice. No, yeah, it's always. I mean, it might land there. Who's going out of the way to watch that?

Why do you think that is? What? Why do you think that is? I don't know. Because you want to feel like you're doing it. Hold on, I love how these are like, some of them are like 50 minutes. Who the fuck watches the whole 50 minutes?

I'm sure there's people who do. Really? Yeah. Yeah. With porn, there's people who do everything. I'd have a blister after that. No, yeah, you do. Unless you're just watching the watch.

You know, maybe one of these guys are like critiquing the lighting or whatever. You know, like, look at these fucking shit. Production quality of porn. What the fuck is this? Oh, God. All right. I got to do some sponsors here. My hands are full.

First one, we got MVMT watches. All right. Here we go. So they sent me a watch. MVMT. You're not wearing it? I'm not wearing it. Is that movement?

It's movement, yeah. Good job. But it's MVMT. What do you want me to say? Keith, good job. We'll figure that one out. Got that one. Nothing gets by this summer, bitch.

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The next sponsor we have here is MeUndies, which we were talking about before the fucking episode started, which I always say now when I do these reads, I completely threw out my entire underwear drawer and only have MeUndies. Because they send me a care package. Because I never had underwear. One time. Here we go. Really quick.

It was my 18th birthday. A stripper pulled me on stage and pulled my boxers off while I still had my jeans on. How is that possible? Exactly. I don't know. She ripped them off you? Were they ripped? Yeah, they were ripped after.

But I didn't feel it. Was this the strongest stripper in the whole fucking world? Jesus Christ. She just gorilla gripped it and ripped that bitch out? I don't know. I just like had a flashback when you said that. You look blown away. Like it just happened right now.

I still don't know how that happened. He's checking. Wait a minute. That wouldn't happen with MeUndies. I would have gave her $1,000 or that. No, it would never happen with MeUndies. You know why? No, but MeUndies, they're made of some shit that I can't pronounce.

That's three times softer than cotton, which I'm pretty sure this script. What's three times softer than cotton? This shit. The micro modal, I think? What does it matter? What are you going to go out and buy material and make your own? I want you to say the word. Fuck you.

All right. It's a fabric that's three times softer than cotton, but I'm pretty sure it used to be twice as soft as cotton in the old thing. So I guess it's getting softer or whatever. By the day. They're actually really comfortable. I only get the briefs though. Don't get the fucking other shit.

Don't do it. I'm telling you right now. You want to keep... I'm done with boxers. Oh, the... I'm done. The things bounce out. You look like you're a late bloomer from Peggy Whitey's.

Am I wrong? No. I mean, yeah. Am I wrong? No. I meant to say, yeah. Ah, here we go. Do you have your boxers since I was nine or 10?

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First pair? Again. Myundies.com, slash basement. 20% off your first pair. All right. Anyway. All right. So now we're going to get into the main topic of this podcast.

I pulled an article from EliteDaily.com. Who are they? Great website. I don't work there. Greg works there. I used to work there. That's how we met. And then I quit.

I didn't work there. That's how we met. Keith didn't work there. There's no shot I'd work there. He was shaving his balls somewhere. He couldn't make it. Oh, it's actually, never mind. Why are you giving serious answers?

Actually, no. I was not shaving my balls. Anyway, so it's 15 sex world records, which I'm excited to hear. I really am too. How many do you hope? A little more than 15. All on the shaved balls category. I don't have enough fingers.

Fingers. Fucking idiots. What's up? What'd you do with your fingers? I said I don't have enough fingers. This is just depressing. I can't say this word. Fingers?

I don't have enough fingers. Oh, to do what? Yeah, that was a tough sentence. I know. That definitely, that'll take you a couple of times. Oh, I got it. Fingers to count. Fingers to count.

Greg actually holds. Greg actually holds a world record. I'm double fisting myself, Rick. Okay, let's edit that. Greg actually holds a world record. It's not a fact, but I probably do. No, yeah. I mean, in this room, I would assume.

Unless someone's doing something else. Yeah, well, this isn't easy to talk about. Well, I just said a lot of dumb shit. Oh, no, no. Keith just told us he stretches his balls out and shapes them. So this is kind of easy now. This is a full blown therapy session at this point. I'm going to start crying.

I needed therapy after this. So we'll set this scene. I'll tell the story before I say what the record is. Okay. So let's go back to... You don't even know this story. I don't want to know it. So I'm in college.

So the scene is kind of like this. Except there's a set of people with lights and shit. No, no. A couple of people hanging out. It's like me and four of my friends in my dorm room. And this girl that I was seeing, not really seeing. I met her on campus and she brings three of her friends. So you got the ratio good.

All right. There's a bottle. There's a... They never are. That was a joke. Not the friends. That's what I'm saying. The friends. Because the guy's always the dick.

He has the hottest one. Yeah. And then here's my friends. Whoa. Yeah. But then you have to keep them company. Yeah. That's what's going on.

That's where the wingman come in. Right. So we're passing around a bottle. Who knows? We're passing around a bottle. Everyone drinking. So I met this girl like once maybe. Yeah.

Those girls who are like, they just, they want one thing. So we're sitting on my bed. What does that mean? Well, we're sitting on my bed. She whispers in my ear. More of the bottle. We have to have sex. Like, we have to have sex.

Like right there. Just... So I'm like there's like, we're hanging out with everyone. There's no one to have sex with. Oh. Like she's like right now. Oh, in the room. In the room.

Yeah. With everyone. With everyone. She whispers. She wanted an audience. She's like, let's go somewhere. Where do you want to have sex on now? Right here.

Right in the quad. So she's like, bathroom. Bathroom. She's whispering bathroom. I'm like, all right. So it's, we get up. Walk to the bathroom. It's obvious what's going on.

So we're in the bathroom, right? The guy's bathroom or the girl's bathroom? It was a dorm room bathroom. Oh, so it was like one of those co-ed rooms. No, it was like in the room. It was in the room. So it was like two feet away. Oh, okay.

Like it was obvious. Yeah. It's like seven minutes in heaven. Yeah. Curtain for a dorm. Dared dorm. I've seen that porno too. Yeah.

I want to go to those dorms. Okay. So going to the bathroom. I sit on the toilet for some reason. Because that's just your natural instinct. You forgot to take a shit. We're here in the bathroom. She's like, I'll position myself where I normally do.

Right. And she, condom, she gets on top. So I'm sitting on a toilet. She's on top. It's obvious what we're doing. So like four minutes into this, maybe, it's like, it's really wet. And like, you know when a girl's wet, but girls don't like leak. So I'm like, this thing, like someone turned the faucet on.

There's no way I'm this good. Something's going on. So I decide to look down. I shit you not. My legs and the bathroom floor are just covered in blood. Oh my fucking god. What the fuck? Covered.

I know, this took a turn. Covered in blood. This took a turn. Did she die? It's like something out of the Bible. No, I know. It sounds like I'm exaggerating, but it was. Wait.

Wait. How much? You said her legs and the floor. My thighs were covered. My hands were covered. How many quarts? It's dripping. You sure it wasn't like that fake blood you can buy in third Halloween?

It sounds like the scene from The Shining, where it comes around the fucking corner. It's a lie. It's the most blood I've ever seen in my life in one place. I swear to god. I mean, there's not many situations where you see a lot of blood. You can count her blood. I guess so. That was the most.

Dude, I'd be like, what the fuck? I would have cried. I would have just cried right there. Yeah. You would have cried, like immediately. I would have called a lawyer. I didn't do it. Well, she's lying.

I start screaming. She starts screaming. No, I start screaming. Oh. No, was it a girl scream or? I scream. She latches on and says, keep going. It's natural.

No, she doesn't. No, she doesn't. Look at me in the eyes. She keeps going. It's natural. It's natural. She's like, yeah, who's going to clean up this fucking natural murder scene right here afterwards?

It's natural. Get the hell off. Which technically, like it is natural, but obviously, but it's not natural. It's not a natural situation. It's not a natural situation. You're having sex in a pool of someone's blood. Right. So I lift her off of me, kick the door open.

I would have thrown her. I swear I'm naked. I'm covered in blood. And I run from the bathroom back to the dorm room where everyone's hanging out and drinking, screaming like, oh my God. So they probably think that I murdered this poor girl in the bathroom. So her friends get up like, what's going on? My friends get up.

My one roommate pulls me into the shower. He's like, what's going on? I'm like freaking out. He's trying to calm me down. This girl's in the bathroom, just like sitting in the corner with the blood all over it. With the blood all over. My third roommate walks by, looks in the bathroom, sees all the blood on the floor, throws up on me, and passes out in his own vomit.

I have eyewitnesses to this, if no one believes this. I swear this happened. My other friend knocked on the door to come in to hang out with us. This should be news. This should be on the news. That could have got a billion views on YouTube because it was all filmed. Who's filming now? Hold on.

This girl basically almost died. Hold on. You're not filming what the fuck's going on with him. You're just filming whatever fucking around in the dorm room. And then he runs out. Oh my God. He's directing. You're not filming that.

You're filming here. You're getting along. He comes out looking like William Wallace after a fucking massacre. There you go. It was. It was a massacre. So wait. Wait, you were naked?

Yeah. You ran out naked. I didn't know what to do. Isn't there a shower in there? My roommate sent me in the shower after that. Yeah, but I'm saying instead of going to the shower or like sink splashing or something, you just ran out and went, dude. In hindsight?

Yes, but put yourself in that situation. Oh, no, I'd be dead. This could have turned into the night over. I would have just kept slamming my head against the wall until I bled out. Wow. Then there would have been equally as much blood on the floor. That's a lot. Am I crazy to think?

I mean, I don't really know how periods go down exactly. Like, I don't know the amount. Well, that's the thing is like, yeah, it can't be that much. No shot. Look, this is the fucking hard part. Just wear little fucking tampons in there. This is the fucking hard part. Like, go about there a day.

It's not like you're leaking blood all over. You can ride a bike and shit, but you're fucking flowing. So what is that? Hold on. This is the fucked up part. She said this is natural. So this means she's done this multiple times. Numerous.

Thousands of times. Thousands of times. That could be her thing. Yeah. That's my plan. She's like, we have to have sex now. She was planning. Yes.

I don't care where we are. She knew. We have to have sex now. Show you. He's going to remember me for the rest of my life. Yes, he will. He's going to tell this on the basement yard one day. The best.

Oh my God. Keyword basement. I was in, if my girlfriend watches this too. I was in Central Park with my girlfriend like a year ago and I walked past her and she didn't see me. And I didn't say anything. Oh man. I was just like, remember me?

Period girl. Like, what do you say? Craig. I bled on you. You remember? It's supposed to be your new girlfriend. I scarred you. So, but I finally calmed down.

I kind of felt bad for her a little bit. I don't know. I thought it was traumatic, but now I feel bad. I feel bad. It's natural. Yeah. Well, so she got her friends like cleaned her up. Her friends cleaned her up.

These are the best friends in the fucking world. Oh fuck. She did this again. That wasn't like she was drunk. Dude, fix yourself. One of them is mopping it out. Fuck. Again.

Don't worry. Don't worry. And the whole time my friends passed out in his vomit. Right outside the bathroom. Wait, like face first. And none of you guys helped him. Face first. Face first in the vomit.

Head near the vomit. Close to. See, I got a thing with blood too. I'm not crazy about it. I don't know if I'm... See, I don't... It doesn't bother me at all, blood. I don't know if it's like pass out worthy, but I definitely don't like it.

No. It's not funny. Like, I'm okay with my blood. Like, I know people get cuts in their hand like... And they go crazy. But like, if someone... If this guy is just bleeding all over the desk, I'm like, all right. There's a lot of stuff in here that I could get.

Like, or whatever, you know? Blood's like... That's not nice. 9-1-1. Yeah. Dude. That's not nice. I know.

You're a little moody earlier. Yeah, who knows. It could happen. So I walk outside with this girl to like, end the night. There's more to this fucking store. Hold on. You walked outside with her. Oh, we're almost halfway through.

Walked outside because I'm a gentleman. And I walked her out. Because maybe it was embarrassing for her. Pulse murder. Yeah. So like, I'm walking out there. It's like, nice to see you. Obviously, I'm never going to see this girl again.

You said, nice to see you. Nice to... Whatever. Yeah. Nice to bleed on you. Lucky to be alive. Nice to be your human tampon. Yeah.

You walk outside. Now we're blood brothers. She... She looks me dead in the eyes. And she says, I like you a lot. I don't want to see you talk to any other girls on campus. Walks away. Yeah.

Never talked to her again. And then I would have been like... I would have... Gave her a handshake. My psycho. She was from the Bronx, though. I would have transferred fucking students. Yeah.

Just drop out of college. I probably would have moved to a different... I would have switched my major after that. She's going to find you. So... I'd find you. Man, I really want to know what this girl looks like, so I never went into her. She said she's walking around Central Park.

Imagine you're alive. She's out there. She's so... She's out there and she's bleeding on other fucking people. I'm saying this now, so all the guys... I'm trying to help. It's an epidemic. No other victim.

Wait, what the fuck does this have to do with a record? Right. So... Most blood in one area? I don't know. It wasn't the one. I've dealt with the most blood. Per square.

Per square. So you think that traumatizing enough, right? So where the world record comes in is this experience happens. The next day I sit down. I'm like, Greg, calm down a little. You're living this college life, maybe a little too extreme. There's blood flowing. Maybe you need to meet a nice girl to settle down.

Less bloody. Someone who's not going to, you know, lead on you. So, like a week later or something, I end up meeting this girl through one of my friends through college. Yeah, of course. And I'm like, wow, nice wholesome girl. You know what? Let me give this a shot.

I don't like where this is going because you're making it sound so nice. What? It was? It was nice. Did you take a shit on you or something? I don't know what's worse. No, dude, a shit story? I can't think.

That's probably worse. No, let's hear it. That's worse. So fast forward, I'm like, I know I'm going to end up dating this girl. So at the time, like a lot of guys I think I'd never gone down on a girl because you're like tongue virginity is sacred for some reason when you're younger. Like, no, you're not like that. No, I'm getting a lot of...

I mean, I can't... Like how? When you say it like that, it just makes me feel weird. Your tongue virginity is very... I just didn't even know that was a phrase until you said it. It's a fucking tongue, man. I'm not out here tongueing the crowd. We all do that to every girl.

Which is... No, no. It's a double standard because we expect blow jobs to just happen like that. Yeah. Yeah. No. But I was in that phase. So I'm like, you know what?

This is such a nice girl. She's so different from the one who bled on me that I'm going to... That like I'm doing it. Like this is the girl that I'm going to lose my... Take the chastity belt off my tongue. So finally go this girl's house. Have it all planned out. And she lived in like the basement and like her parents were upstairs.

So go to her house for talking and blah, blah, blah. I like studied shit online too. Like you're supposed to make the alphabet with your tongue. I don't know if... You googled? Yeah. I was like, I was young. You were in college.

Yeah, but I'd never done it before. You googled like how do you... Yeah. And you got to do that. You got to do the alphabet. It's a bookish read and a book while doing it. Wait, hold on. Okay.

So we're in her room. Time finally comes. Like it's going down. Supposed to be a time dog. Lick the lights. Head first, dive onto the bed. You wait. Yeah.

You dope? Back then. So I'm going at it. Spell the alphabet. Then I'm like, oh wait, if I could do this, I could like spell anything I want. Like spell in my name. Yeah. And all of a sudden it's like moistness goes from like, you know, one to a hundred.

And I'm like, wow, like has spelling Greg with your tongue been like the secret? Like does it all this time? Like I'm killing it. The key to everything. And then the taste of pennies. Oh no. Copper. She had pennies in there?

No. Just starts creeping in to the taste buds. Look at her coin purse. Come on. I'm like, hold on one second. Are you okay? I think, but I don't know. She said, I think, but I don't know.

She knows. She knows. Stand up. Listen, if you're getting your vagina licked, you're in a good place, you know? That's why she. Are you okay? That's why I'm great. This is awesome.

That's why she gave that answer. I don't know, but keep going. Well, I had a knife in my chest and I was getting blown. He's like, you're right. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, but something felt a little off. Right. So she knew.

She knew. She knew it was going down. And the white mattress is now red. Literally. Actually, probably more blood than the bathroom. What? You are fucking with the most bleeding people. Yeah, you bring her.

Is that a word? You bring out the blood in them. Is bleeding a thing? Her legs are covered. The bed is just soaked with blood. I look into her mirror and my mouth is just. She looks like a stage. You look like a modern day vampire.

It's like American Psycho. Like Leonardo DiCaprio on the Revenant? Yeah. Like the bison fucking liver? Oh my God. That was two in a row? So, back to the world record, back to back. Back to back bleeders.

Two different girls. What was the next girl like? That must have been the worst thing ever. She was a shitter. You must have had gloves. Well, I ended up dating that girl for like four years. Oh my God. You dated the bleeders for four years?

Once you drank their blood, like what do you do from there? How can it get worse? Yeah. So you're gonna feel like you have to age. We just went through the worst. It's like, yeah, that's it. I'll be at your house for Christmas. Did you get sick?

No. I know I would have thrown up. I just ran upstairs to the bathroom and just, I was. You didn't run into the living room to the parents? No. Do that. It's just trademark. I think he was clothed at the time, but he took his clothes off.

It's Greg's trademark, covered in blood naked, running into a room. At the time, I mean, I get it, like, I've matured. Periods happen. It's not like the grossest thing. You've been through hell. It's up there. You've been through hell. But how does that happen?

Back to back? I just, girl, like, do you know when you're having your period? No, dude. First of all, there's like a cycle. Yeah. Okay? They can, they know the date. There's apps.

They can print. They know what time. I mean, again, he's in college. 6 or 7 a.m. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like a flip-flop on a roll. It's still, you know when shit's going on, right? So, yeah. Even when it's coming, they feel different. Dude, you heard it's natural and I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm okay. Yeah. Well, usually.

The two dumbest responses. Both of those situations. The two biggest, ready? Red flags. Dun-dun. You're welcome. Wow. That's why I have a show.

I challenge. Because I could stay shit like that on a spot. And look what's on his shirt, right? Red toot. This is all connected. Wow. Jesus. I challenge anyone out there, though, to have that experience.

More bloods. There's no way. I can guarantee you no one wants to go through that. I don't think anyone has. Unless they're into that. People have to really get into that. I don't think anyone has. I don't think anyone has.

Unless they're into that. People have to really get into that. I don't think anyone has. Unless they're into that. People have to willingly do it. Yeah. Well, did you ever have period sex with that girl afterwards? No.

I've never actually. I've never had period sex. Oh, baby, you're on your period. I've never had intentional periods. I feel like girls, like, test the waters with the guy. Yeah. Oh, he's down for that shit. And then once you agree once, it's like you're having period sex every fucking month.

Yeah, it's like, now you can't get out of there. I've never done it. That's so weird. The game's on. It's like, yeah, well, I'm bleeding. 25 days. Yeah. Oh, God.

In every cycle. At that point, I mean, you could do anything. And I don't want. I don't want to have period sex. No, I know. I don't like blood. I just have a thing. I just don't like blood.

Yeah. It's too real. It's too bloody. I'm kidding. Like, it's blood. When he said pennies, I just thought of when I get a nosebleed. And that's what you, yeah. You taste that, right?

I mean, I had a bad nose. Again, it's a fucking nosebleed. It's not a... Do you remember that? I woke up. I woke up. I'm sorry. In the middle of the night, I had a really bad nosebleed.

Both nostrils just didn't realize. Woke up. This kid's nosebleed. It's like a cog head. Is that why your beard is red? Like, he does... He's blowing lines every Thursday. No, I broke my nose.

That's why his beard is red. I broke my nose like four times. So, like, it just bleeds when it wants to now. Wow. It's come to that point. And... No, I did. Yeah.

All right. But what was it? I woke up. It was, like, six in the morning. And this whole half of my pillow is just soaked with blood. Soaked. I mean, I... I had blood all over my face.

I feel nothing for you. Dude. What do you want me to say? I had blood all over my face. I tried to, like, get up to wash myself. I was so weak. I was like, fuck. Dude, I can't even, like...

I hate this conversation. I'm sorry. The fact that, like, someone else's blood hitting my mouth is just... I can't do it. If someone's blood hit my shoe, I'd throw my fucking shoes out. I'm serious. I've done it. And that's why they call me a vampire.

But in basketball, there were some kids' elbows. It was elbow blood. Hit my shoe. I was like, well, these are going in the garbage now. I don't like blood. Don't knock it until you try it. No, never try it. I'm never gonna try it.

Never. Never, like, on purpose. I still think about it, like, before doing anything. You can do anything. You know what I mean? Like, dude, I... Two people bled on me. Oh.

That's not how I think about it. I'm, like, scared every time about the... Can you accomplish my dreams? You could put anything you do in your mind. What I just said. I have to make it clear. It is not the girl I'm dating now. That's fine.

Oh, yeah. That's good. Nobody knows who the fuck you're dating anyway. Anyway, let's get to the sex world records, okay? First one here. Longest masturbation session. Oh, my God. And, uh, it was...

You guys know it, right? No. I forget. It's nine hours, 58 minutes. What? Nine hours. Does that mean you just jerk straight? I can't play video games for nine hours.

Dude, I can't... That's more than it worked in. I can't even sleep that long. Yeah. No, I can sleep that long. Who the fuck are you? I think I slept that much last night. No, but nine hours, 58 minutes.

What does your dick look like after that? It breaks? Dude, my dick would've... I would've rubbed my dick off. That's fucking nuts. You do have many layers of skin, so you just round that. Yeah, but eventually you get to, like, run out of skin. I really gotta pee.

Like, it's not okay. I really gotta go. So go pee. All right. I don't give a fuck. Get the fuck out of here. Sorry, sound guy. You're gonna hear the stream.

Should we just keep going? Dude, fuck it. Fuck it. I'll walk it out. Keith, you're missing out. Where's the bathroom? Please, can we play the stream? This kid's got his...

No, time out. Are you guys rolling? Yo, please stay. And let the audio roll. This kid's stream is absurd. Watch. You can come here from here. Fuck is the weather.

Is the weather... Dude, this kid... Like a horse? In my mom's house. We could be sitting on the couch, and the bathroom's all the way upstairs. And with the door closed, and we're all the way downstairs that distance,

it sounds like he's pissing in your fucking ear. This kid's stream is absurd. It sounds like, you know, you kink a hose, and then you let it go, so it's like... It's literally like that. It's insane. I can't wait to hear this played back. No, I can't wait to hear it either,

because it's gonna be so clear. Oh my God, what a disaster. Oh my God, my pants don't fucking fit anymore. You didn't wash your hands, or plus. Yeah, I fucking flushed. You can't lie, you're mic'd up. You didn't wash your hands, though. I didn't wash my hands.

No, but wash your hands in the comfort of no place. I'm not a fucking employee. I don't have to wash my hands. I'm not sound guy. Do you wash your hands every time you pee in your house? Not every time, but I do. Majority. I don't wash my hands when I pee in my own place.

Who does that? I know how clean or dirty my dick is at all times. If I take a dump, obviously I'm washing my hands. My pants are just so much looser after that one. What does that mean? Like your bladder was like... How big is your bladder? Who fucking knows?

It was really... How old is your bladder? It's a prostate, dickhead. Same thing. It's not. It's gotta do with your dick. Sorry, I'm not a doctor. I just have a show.

I don't do exams. I'm sorry. Anyway, 9 hours 58 minutes. Long time. Very long time. That's too long. Your dick is beat red and a fucking mess. You can run two fucking marathons in that time.

You probably could. Jesus. What was the most time you jerked off in one day? Well, Greg, you saved first. I don't have an exciting answer. Mine's like... A sick day or something? Four...

Three? Three? You live a fucking awful life? Three. He was laughing at you like three days. What a fucking asshole. Did three while I was here or not? Three in the bathroom.

I did was like five or six. That means nine. Okay. Keith Matthew. I did like five. Keith Matthew. You had times nine. No, because you start...

You question your life and you're like... What? You're like a degenerate. Like... You're masturbating? Like Sanko again. That's when you go right into number four. And that's what helps you feel better.

That's what helps you forget about it. Well, I'm depressed, so... I already did three. I already did three. I'm not going to like go to a deeper level of hell. Fuck it. But by number four, your dick hurts like crazy. Oh, it does.

It's just not fun. It's like trying to like... Just getting the boner, it hurts. You've got to fight past it. Oh, my God. I hate that. What'd you get past the tears? It all feels good.

Yeah. Well, once you start seeing blood, then you stop. All right. Most orgasms in a day. Zara Richardson sets the record with over 500 orgasms in a single 24-hour period. What? 500. That's got to hurt.

After a while. After a while. What are you just yelling all day? What is she on? 500. Yeah, but I feel like for some girls it could just... What is that machine called? A Sybian?

Yeah. We just got a Sybian all fucking day? Wait, hold on. I have to do the math. She's at work just buzzing for hours in a day. Dude, 20.8. Or you ever see those? 20.8 what?

Hours? 20.8? Orgasms? Every hour. Oh, okay. So that's every... That's less than every three seconds. Wait, you said 20 every hour?

20.8 every hour. 20.8 every hour. That's less than... That's one every three minutes. You're awake all 24 hours. Yeah. True. Hey.

Wow. You know what? I'm not even going to get into that realm. I feel like he knows something. Like they're just doing a tour... Yeah, but... They're just doing a tour while she's sleeping. You got to take a nap.

You got to eat, right? Wow. Yeah, this girl's... This girl's not... You have to be trying to set a record for that. I mean, this is kind of off topic, but there is a guy... Oh, no, she has the thing. Yeah.

It's sexual... Persistent sexual arousal syndrome. Good job. They couldn't get a more like... Scientific... But there's... Yeah, there's a guy that has that too. A lot of sex arousal syndrome.

They couldn't like call it some other shit. But yeah, they just have organ... There was a guy... That guy... He slipped a disc in his back and it caused him to just have random orgasms. Yeah. Wow. It sucks.

Dude, they were interviewing him. It was like the most uncomfortable thing I've ever watched. He's just going in his... I've seen that before. And I'm like, what the fuck? Next, we got world's oldest pair of twin prostitutes. What's so specific? They were 70.

Wait, did they come as a pair or like they're like... I see what you're saying. On different corners. Come as a pair. Come. See you, man. Put out a graphic. Can we get a graphic?

Come. Not on me. She's squaring. She's like, don't put it on me. Holy shit. Who's banging 70 year olds? Twins for the story? Okay.

I get it, I guess. Jesus Christ. World's largest natural breasts. Ooh. Like Z. Like what? Where does it go? They're a size...

Naturally. A size... 747s. 102 triple Z. Each of her breasts weighs 56 pounds. That's a fourth grader. Dude. Fourth grade child.

How does she walk around? No, back problems for days. Is she bedridden? No, she's up and about. Damn. She's got a good core. She's got a really good core. She could probably deadlift like you would not believe.

You gotta support all that weight on things. Dude, if she lifts the bar, she's doing like four times her body weight. Dude, think about lifting her tits. You could probably throw your shoulder at them. You could definitely... I would dislocate one of my shoulders. You could bench that. But you can't.

Because all the weight is like kind of... Yeah. You ever try to like lift a kettlebell? Or like... Right. Or like a... It moves on you. Or like a bag of water.

Like a bag of water. Try to like get it out of the pool. It's kind of hard. Get a bag of water out of the... Not a bag of water. Like... You ever fucked around in the pool? And you have like a big thing of...

Like a container of water. A bag of water. It's like a bag of water. It was almost as worse as a bag of sand. Oh man. Your analogies need work. So does my mic. Okay.

World's largest gang bang. Now that's open. Oh yeah. I'm not being anything, but this is definitely Asian. Or we're called Chinese. I'm not being anything. Stereotyping you mean? There we go.

Back in 2004 porn star Lisa Sparks. Which I will look up to confirm her ethnicity. Lisa Sparks is... Not Asian. So... I thought it was you. You were wrong. Oh it was gang bang.

Whoa. What did you think I said? I heard something else. Okay. I heard a... What's it called? Orgy. That's the same thing.

No it's not. It's really gang bang in a bukkak. Because there's girls and girls and a lot of gods. Okay. There's a team effort here. Yeah. Lisa Sparks had sex with 919 guys at the third annual World Gang Bang Championship. 919?

Are you shitting me? Who commentates that? How long did that take? Is this like a single luminescent brand? Which ESPN is that? If she just did a peepee touch it. This is going on for at least four hours. Wait how do you have sex with 919 guys?

And have a vagina still afterwards? Just line up. That is legit that hot dog through a hallway. That's a lot. Is she taking like six at a time? Hot dog into a volcano. Not even being number 919. Yeah right?

At that point you're going to you know... I want to interview that guy. Yeah right? He had like a 10 set up. Just sleeping bag? Yeah it was alright I guess. It was alright you know. Okay.

Oldest male porn star. Hmm. What's he taking from an old guy? Just doing this. I don't know what the fuck it is by the way. What is going on with that guy? Oh god this guy is Asian. Oh god.

Shagio. Actually I don't know if he's Asian. You're going to look him up? I'm looking up Shagio. How old is he? Hold on. Yeah he's Japanese. I'm right you're wrong.

Nailed it. Yeah Shagio Toduka. He started working in porn when he was 59. Late boomer. Way back in 94. He's currently 82. I guess he's still fucking. It's gotta be.

Damn. So this record is going to be continued. That answers your question of who sleeps with the twin prostitutes. A 70 year old. He's probably been in like 19 year olds. That's what happens. When you watch that. That's gotta be like so.

I don't want to see an old dick. It doesn't count man. In Japanese they blur your dick. That's true too. Yeah that's right. Why the fuck do they do that? Why do they do that? They're trying to suck me into a fucking.

The porn girls. Another porn site like 1999. You can watch anything you ever wanted. How insecure can you be that you need all these dicks to blur? Yeah. And why am I complaining about it again? That's the second time this is fucking old. The girl is not blurred at all.

I was like there's no dick. I hate the porn. And the goddamn Japanese keep blurring their dicks. It's bullshit. Alright. World's oldest virgin. Clara. Is it a girl?

Oh. It was a woman. Which is weird because I have this theory that when you're born a woman. You also get this card. And it says I don't have sex. And you can play it at any time. At any time you want. It doesn't move its value.

You just get it. But anyway. What? It worked out right. There you go. Jesus. It's mad. We need to have sex now.

How do you say no? Yeah. I mean. I need to bleed now. Sorry. Too soon. Too late? One of those.

Just right. Passed away as a virgin. No. So never got to experience the good old penis. 108 years old. Is it weird that like my heart just sucks? That's very. Yeah.

Why? Do you think she masturbated? I think she. I feel like she didn't. I feel like she doesn't do that. Why wouldn't she just masturbate? She didn't have a dildo ever. I don't know about dildo.

Then why didn't she have sex if she masturbated? Apparently she said she was too busy for a relationship. Yeah. She was masturbating four times a day. People don't get pee pee anywhere though. At what age do you give up? Like you're a virgin and you hit this age and you're just kind of like, oh well I'm just going to pack it in now.

When Social Security kicks in again? Yeah. 62? 61? 65 I think? No. 62 is Social Security, right? Here we go.

Oldest prostitute. 80 year old, 82 year old hooker named Grandma. Was arrested in 2001 in Taipei, Taiwan. Which isn't Japanese, but I don't know. Honestly, oh never mind. Grandma? Yeah. So what did they say?

Let's go to Grandma's house? Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I don't know who's picking her up. Like if you're going to get a prostitute, like you're not going to get like a house. Dude, you can't come over my grandma's here. It's kind of the perfect cover. Actually, yeah.

That's probably why she was positive. Still not worth it though. I'd rather go to jail. No, no sir, she's my grandma. And it didn't work that well because she got arrested. Yeah, she did. I don't know what she was doing. Anyway, world's largest orgy, held in 2006 by the Japanese.

They were sweeping the poor in Olympics right now. 250 men and 250 women. I would just be like, it's, at least it's even. See, I think. Yeah, you only have to have sex with one person. Yeah. Dude, what? Yeah, that's not good.

500 people in a room. First off, it's hot as shit in there. You can't fuck enough AC in there. If it's an orgy, it's got to be in the same place. There's so much friction going on in that room. And you just switch partners probably. Dude, I don't know. But this sounds like they had to call the city and be like, we need to block off the road.

And they had a block party. There's no room that big. Yeah, where do you hold that? Where do you hold something like that? Go to MetLife. Right? Right on the 50 yard line. 50,000 fans going to watch it?

Yeah, here you go. Would you go to watch it? What if I would? I wouldn't tell anyone if I would. 500 people have sex at the same time? Must be some. Must smell a little funky. I was gonna hear that.

Oh my god, dude. And does anyone stand out? Do you have a favorite player? Did you just create a league? Yeah, I did. We got him. I don't have a favorite player. He's number one.

He's gonna fuck them all. Hold on. The next one is a great one. Who's going for stamina? World's strongest vagina. What, it ripped someone's head off? I didn't know it was with vaginas. Yeah, that's something I did not know.

Wow. Where do you work at? Guess we're working out wrong. Oh, here we go. This should be good. Tatyata. That's her name. Kosevnikov.

That Russian? Gotta be. Very strong. Sounds like a vodka. Lifted 31 pounds with her vagina back in 2009. These are all broken. I can barely fucking curl that. 31 pounds?

Yeah. How do you lift like a string? Yeah, but what do you do? You tie like a shoe and then put her on a weight? Where are they pulling this weight? With a vagina. Is she sucking it in? I don't know.

Yeah, exactly. Is she sucking in this weight and then just holding it? Clunching? Dude, this is something. I've seen a video. Oh, my God. I've seen another fucked up video. It was a guy, though.

Pulling a, what was it? Like a car or like a train with his nuts or his dick? Either one's kind of incredible. Most queefs in 30 seconds. 30 seconds. The number's gonna surprise you. This can't be real. Guess the number?

80. It's 30 seconds. 15. 50. 93. Wow. In 30 seconds? What's the math on that?

What's the math on that? That's like a machine gun. That probably fucked up the microwave crazy book. Yeah. Wait, 91? 93. She's a mother of two. So she, it's, it's, it's in every queef.

She's a good will. A queef in every, uh, less than 0.33 seconds. So that. A queef happening every 0.33 seconds. It's a little less than that. Yeah, it's dope. So that's, wait, is that going to do the math with that? Please get a close up on his fucking eyes.

He just starts going. Keith, no one really cares about that. The number is 93. Whatever you're trying to figure out. I think that's the important thing. Don't care. Yeah. It's, it's, it's a little less than 0.33 seconds.

World's largest penis. Mine. I know this. Everyone knows this. Jonah Falcon. Yeah. Jonah Falcon. Amazing name.

His penis flaccid eight inches. Bigger than my dick. Holy shit. My dick, like on the best day it's ever had on its entire life. His penis length erect is 13.5 inches. Wow. Which is the equivalent. He's got like a bat.

Like a leg. It's a bat. Yeah, it's a bat. That's a bat. That's this. That's this right here. But it's big, dude. Full-time faithful.

No, it's like, think of like a ruler. I mean, it's fucking big. Dude, it's scary. If someone threw a tennis ball at him, he could swing his dick and hit it. Dude, this is his dick. Yeah. If someone threw a tennis ball at me and I swung and hit it with my dick, I would get it. I would get it on my dick.

My dick would have fell off. Nothing would have happened. It would have popped off. He's a grower too. Not even a shower. He's a shower. He's got an eight inch flaccid dick. And dick grows.

He's got both. No, but I think that's what, I don't know. I don't know. Do showers just, they're full, fucking, full dick? It's like, it's already at its full length and then it's like, it's excited and it's like, oh, all right, fine. It just goes right up. I feel like, yeah.

That's kind of absurd. I don't know. Dude, one time I was in Miami and there was a dude in a Speedo. This guy's dick. Dude, it was like. You're staring at his dick for it. Dude, it was all over the beach. No, but it's like, oh, I was like, oh, it's a guy.

He's dragging in the sand. I was like, oh, it's a guy in a Speedo. And then he turned around and it looked like he had a fanny pack on because it was like, you took shirts and just jammed them in his Speedo. Dude, I was like, this fucking guy's insane. I mean, you know, I'd wear a Speedo. That was probably this guy, honestly. You know what I mean?

Honestly, if you had a dick that big. Wear a Speedo. Yeah. You don't even have to. Oh, I'm wearing a Speedo. Pants? Uh, world's youngest mother. What?

1939, five-year-old. What? Just move on. How is that fucking possible? She went through puberty? She gave birth via C-section to a son. She went through puberty at what? Who the family first thought was a tumor.

Oh. How did she get pregnant? Did the baby survive? How did she get pregnant? That's so true. This one's dark. That's what I'm saying. Did they like, pump her with fucking hormones and shit?

It was 1939 and it was Peru. So, who knows what the fuck was going on back then. Benjamin Button? I'm pretty sure they were still sacrificing people and shit back then. Is that where Benjamin Button came from? Longest ejaculation distance. Who's holding these events? I can't.

Apparently a guy named Horst. Horst? His name is Horst. Horst. Horst Schultz. Is that Jewish? Is Schultz a Jew name? Yeah.

Very Jewish. It definitely is. Yeah, it could be. I'm going to go with him. I want to see his face. What's the difference? I want to see the distance. None of these guys are having a snow.

Anyway. Oh, wait. That was him. Where? I saw a guy holding a world record plaque. You know that's fucked up because like, you know, people have to go and like, yeah, this is a world record. I authenticate it.

He had to see this guy beat up. And then shoot it across the room. There's no way you could see the screen, right? Oh, man. Dude, there's a picture here. Describe it to us. He looks like a series from Unfortunate Events. So this is the guy.

That's on his ear. That's hair. He looks like a fucking, like a Dr. Seuss character. Oh. Dude. Wow. This guy's shooting come all over the place. Oh, you sure it's not like a tree, like in the back?

No. That is the guy's hair. Is that ear hair? Keith, when you hold a world record for coming the furthest, you can do whatever you want. I love people who just play the part, though. Like, you know. I could barely hit my thumb. By the way, he ejaculated.

18 feet, 9 inches. 18. How do you track that? That's bigger than a basketball. That's way further than the best raw jump in the NFL. He gave a new one. Way further. That is unbelievable.

Imagine taking that side by side. Yeah, like, he gave like a... I watched that in slow motion. He gave a new name to PSI. Yeah, dude. I would... Penis per square inch. I...

Did it, like, legit make a gun sound when this thing flew out? That's probably... It's just like... Is it like current, like, what's it... When they throw in the Olympics, when they, like, spin around first? The Javelin? No, what is that? Oh, Shuffle.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder if he does that just to, like... Yeah! Dude, that is... 18 feet and 9 inches. The only way I can... I can just as far as if I'm jerking off on top of the entire thing. Was he standing or sitting?

And letting the wind take it. Was he, like, laying down? Why do you think I have this information? Was he standing or sitting? How high did it go? What do you have for breakfast? It could have been a windy day. You could have got distance from the wind.

Yeah, wind factor. It must have been a fucking tornado. 18 feet. Because, you know, you shoot that thing in the air, right? It could carry. That's how, like, spiders, like, transport from place. That's it. Those are all the records.

That was it? Yeah, we're done. We're over here. We gotta add Greg's, so it's 16. Yeah, can we call, like, who do we call? Is it just Guinness? Guinness Book of World Records? I don't know.

Apparently they had gang-bang championships. There's a lot of stuff coming in. They won't just take my word. And it was the third annual. Which means this kept going. There's two more. Two before this one. Yeah.

I'm gonna try to get in for my story. Well, I thought you were gonna say, I want them being on the fourth one. Oh, the gang-bang? What? Nevermind. Anyway, we're gonna wrap up here. Guys, where can they find you if they want to contact you?

I don't want them to find me now. Yeah, after this? Oh, my God. You can give them all your tips about how to shave your bowels and whatnot. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram.

It's KeithSanagato. And I have a gaming channel on YouTube. Yeah. And that is YouTube slash KeithSanagato. Cool. I just could never go check that out. You could find me at GregDiback on social media and check out my book,

The Art of Living Other People's Lives. I wasn't gonna do it, but you're out here. Oh, my gosh. Also, you guys can check out our other fucking podcast, Other People's Lives, which is very interesting. Other People's Lives at OPL show on Twitter. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Furry episode coming up soon. Oh. I'm definitely gonna have to listen to that one. Yeah, because you know anything. I thought it was Alvin and the chipmunks. I was way off. Alvin and the chipmunks. Like, you just dress up as like Alvin and...

I'm joking. It's on this before you just start saying that. It's also Alvin, not Elvin. Also, if you're watching this, stay tuned because there is a 15-minute segment after this called the Extra Yard. If you guys are listening to this, then you could subscribe to Fullscreen.

Go to Fullscreen.com. Slash Basement Yard to access that. We're gonna be drinking and actually playing a game that I'm not really excited about. There may be blood. More blood. That's crazy because there actually might be blood in this thing.

I'll look it up if there is no word. Oh, God. Anyway, thanks for listening and watching. We'll see you next time.