The Basement Yard - The Blackout Is Back Out

Episode Date: December 13, 2016

Merch Store: http://themcgeecloset.bigcartel.com On this episode, I'm joined by @AntVino & @KeithSantagato to talk about the Secret Santa Party, Keith's new blackout story, & weird pornos. Learn more... about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 welcome back to the basement yard it is Monday December 12th and I am joined by two lovely ladies Mr. Anthony DeVino I'm a little sick I'm not gonna lie no one cares or gives a shit and we're also with my favorite girl Keith Sanagato hey he's so hot Keith's mustache is fucking boom it right now I drink water and it's like it it's like Moses it parts the fucking water goes down my face barely get any of my mouth you look like a you're looking like an old dog you don't know dogs get those like oh yeah you just wink at me what the fuck was that or you had a twitch in your eye yeah okay I thought you were wait I
Starting point is 00:00:40 didn't know what kind of stop getting excited I didn't know what kind of podcast this was gonna be I don't know winking at me I mean your hair is combed to the side you look like the four-year-old virgin it's because I didn't do my hair I was so you settled with that you know I didn't do it on purpose I I didn't want to lie but your hair does look terrible I wasn't gonna say anything but when I walked in I was like yo that's not gonna happen I don't it's not a it's not a hairdo all I did was wake up in the morning and this is what it looks like because I was wearing a hat all day yesterday at the Giants game so you're
Starting point is 00:01:09 making excuse right now what time is it it's five it's eight o'clock you don't shower exactly this is what my hair looks like it's terrible don't let it happen again sorry I'll always do my hair for you it's the first time you got pimple on your nose I didn't like that I like Rudolph you do it's terrible but it's nice in December you're allowed to have that it's a scar actually you're just a big Christmas fan guys before we talk about what we're gonna talk about today I just wanted to let you know that I opened a merch store online yep so I have some merch there if you want to go check it out it's called wow it's it's the
Starting point is 00:01:50 McGee closet dot big cartel dot com it's T H E M C G E E C L O S E T dot big cartel dot com shut the fuck up and if you're wondering what the fuck does that mean in my basement where I first started making videos first of all this podcast is called the basement yard because when me and Keith were younger and our siblings we used to ask to go play in the basement yard which is what we called the basement which was my room where I started it making videos and at the bottom of the stairs is a closet that my grandma used to call the McGee closet because there was some TV show with some guy McGee and every time we
Starting point is 00:02:34 opened the door a bunch of shit would fall out and that closet just has a bunch of shit in it so we called the McGee closet so I figured why not call it the McGee closet since everything is based around that basement so if you want go check that stuff out and yeah you can get it for before Christmas or some shit but that's enough of that speaking of Christmas we just had our secret Santa party did you know what are you doing I don't know man I'm just zoned out it was lean back staring at the ceiling you're fucking Adam's apple did you take it looks like there was an elbow in your thumb it's gross yeah it
Starting point is 00:03:08 did it look people touch it I get freaked out I'm like you'll stop I'm gonna pull it out pull what out you want it the fuck isn't Adam's apple you can't give an Adam's apple I want to get rid of it I heard you could swallow it by accident no you can't you it's not an apple it's like a bone or something I have like I hope there's I hope there's no Apple yeah here's Keith first of all you think you can swallow your Adam's apple Keats over here saying he's got two of them I do have like one here one here God it gets it gets dumber by the second on this podcast doesn't he two apples you just said there's an apple in
Starting point is 00:03:40 my throat no I said there isn't you said oh I think it could why is it called Adam's apple because Adam and Eve Adam made the apple there you go and like I said dumber by the second that might even be true I don't fucking know to be honest it I was created by the gods it might sound a little plausible but it's probably not I don't think that's true no way I know you could shave it down I know like some gross some people I need people have done that I need to shave my Adam's apple down Keats need to shave his face yeah no you should need a buzzer I gotta shave you look like you kill people for a let me ask you guys a
Starting point is 00:04:19 question I don't so I have a buzzer right and people I don't I've never said this to anyone and I don't know why I'm saying it now but I buzz my pubes and face with the same thing yo that's a really bad is your face itchy all the time no that's yo first why is that bad I don't use a buzzer you shave it I use a razor so you're like a porn star I use a razor and I have two razors I have one in the shower from my peeps right the other ones from my face in the bath well listen this thing's just a buzzer what I'm gonna go in your buzz with hair right it buzzes hair I never go bald eagle I oh yo I'm I'm bald eagle right now you
Starting point is 00:05:01 want to see no I don't want to fucking see your yo I did like I did it yesterday oh my god it sucks when that time comes around cuz it's like fall wait first of all I mean you know what the good part is I can just let it go for a while and then buzz it in your challenge yeah that you can't let it go you can let it go you gotta be on top of it it's like a job it takes longer to you I like smoothness I mean I have I said this a long time ago I respect the girl's mouth all right that's why you don't have you peeps no I mean dude it's hair I look like a 70s listen I'm not shit I'm not buzzing this thing like after I get
Starting point is 00:05:38 home from basketball or something she's like I take a shower and then buzz it it's clean I fucking soap do the triangle I even put shampoo sometime so you leave a triangle you're lying no I don't leave a triangle what I'm saying I do the triangle wash you do groin side groin side and does yeah he does the heart I do the top and then the heart shape yeah that's what I mean you wash everything listen pull your balls bottom line is I'm washing the fucking pubes and I'm buzzing it hold on but what's the difference I always use soap wait a second I'm afraid of dick I know I know kids who just use water and that's asking for
Starting point is 00:06:14 blood what they don't like I'm like yeah you I use soap you know I use it like as a shaving cream nah man I use straight water I mean yeah hold on so you shave your balls yeah you wait you shave your actual balls that is a mission risky yes lead that's like shaving your balls is like trying to write on a t-shirt you ever try to do that like skips it's fucking impossible that's good no one false move you might not have a ball yeah I remember when I made the mistake when I was just slip out I went out before I had like a good amount of like you know when you first started having hair you're like okay with the shit like you
Starting point is 00:06:49 wanted to be down to shave so I tried to shave my actual balls that was it just a disaster I was in pain for like two weeks it was scary at first but then you just get used to and like I just love I love the smoothness whatever what are we even talking about oh I brought the fact that I buzzing and but listen I know people like oh Joe gross but what are you afraid of your own dick like yo I clean my shit I know it's clean so then it's just hair some people haven't seen there's in my it's just hair I use soap I use shampoo I do everything down there and then 10 minutes later when it's dry I buzz it and then whenever I need to
Starting point is 00:07:28 buzz my face I buzz that I think I also clean the fucking thing as well I don't just leave it was like we put you on the fucking poll I'm just like you know cuz I know some fucking hyper masculine dude is gonna tweet me like oh dude there's dick on your face but yeah but it's my dick I'm chillin I think 92% of girls don't like hairy dick whatever dude so why did it like beards then mmm dick beards dude I could say something but I actually held myself creepy mustache I'm pretty sure it's down there yeah whatever a mustache mustache is anyway so we had a our secret Santa party it was fun yeah it was a lot of fun this is our
Starting point is 00:08:08 second annual we did one last year if you find I it's been so simple Keith the secret Santa party it's the second annual and we added some people this year we had 15 people and we just have a like a party at the house and a lot of people got drunk I put a bottle of wine to the face did you're an idiot and I went home perfectly fine I I drink myself to sleep I drank myself to sleep I actually cut myself off that was a smart decision cuz yeah this kid made a rule it was his turn didn't even fucking know yeah I don't know if like the use the users you heard me I don't know if the listeners are familiar with the drinking game
Starting point is 00:08:54 cheers to the governor probably has a bunch of different names but Terry up to it basically you go around and you count one two three four five six and then seven is 14 and then you go eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen seven and then you go 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 when you get to 21 someone gets to make a rule for a number you cheers everyone's drinks and then you use someone makes them over for a number so you go all right now every time you get to 10 you say Cox so then you do it over again and 14 and 7 are always switched and then you keep going until every single number is a rule but it's
Starting point is 00:09:33 impossible when you have a drunk de Vino who fucking was I wasn't drunk maybe you were hammered dude you were like I went home and went right to bed going to town on Ruffino what is that it was delicious bottle of wine aunty yeah yeah aunty it tastes like water I told my mom that you're an alcoholic and I'm like no friend no you're a whino did you have it with fava beans I mean I kept eating your mom's big fuck are you talking about a nice k-ante the fuck is that you're so weird you've never fucking seen that movie what movie is it sounds of the lambs oh yeah it is yes yes oh my god I finally good job Keith Anthony Hopkins
Starting point is 00:10:11 love it watch the last episode oh yeah we're not gonna go there but anyway did you or not okay we're not gonna get into fucking Westworld right now cuz no one knows what the fuck's happening anyway anyway I don't know no one knows but you but um yeah I had DeVino out of all people yeah so we randomly selected who you had and you can't tell anyone and I got DeVino so I got him a this hunting full fucking outfit it's sick when I came up with the idea I was like oh I was in the gym and I came up with the idea I don't know how I was thinking of this like in the gym but then I came up with it so I just stopped my workout and
Starting point is 00:10:49 bought it real quick before I forgot yeah and it was so I went right into my hunting crate like it's so loose that I could go over myself so I'm still warm while hunting yeah and you won't see me yeah it's like one of those things you see snipers wearing where it looks like there's leaves all over it and whatever like it was sick and I also bought him some deer piss you can spray that on himself I need that I do you should wear it to the party not over myself you usually sprayed on like a tree or like an area where like a buck okay we're not gonna get into this please tell us MacGyver everyone's gonna
Starting point is 00:11:22 hate me you killed deer no I don't I don't I just he tries he murdered Bambi I don't I deer watch he deer watches yeah you ever kill a rabbit no oh no I have a chinchilla where's that they're not even well they're part rabbit not but they're in the same her name is Bowser and she loves me she's blind you know has a chinchilla she doesn't know who you are she's blind first of all time out Davino bought a chinchilla named it bow bowzer and then found out like two years later that it was a man that was a female no it was actually a very very long time I was like maybe five plus years it was five years later I owe my dad a
Starting point is 00:11:58 thousand dollars because of that thing because it got hurt oh yeah I didn't pay for that shit I was in high school you came home he came home and it was late it was a hanging upside down by its foot yeah it broke its pelvis Christ man fuck your kid same I don't even know where my kid is yeah we hung out with him and he went home and his hamster I don't have a kid yeah Keith I don't know you're talking about but Keith I did want to talk to you because you had quite the night so let me just explain so we had the secret Santa Party and you know we started drinking I'd say at 7 p.m. we didn't
Starting point is 00:12:39 exchange gifts until 10 30 11 and then after that I was pretty much done with the night because I had I was up late the night before and I just drank until I was very tired and I was like I'm not going out but a bunch of my friends went out he's lying Keith being one of them and you had quite the night Keith can you tell us what happened please I heard about you and I want to hear about what happened so do I so you guys went to the ditty uh-huh and what I didn't go I went to sleep what happened there nothing really happened at the ditty you consumed a lot of yeah I had a way too many beverages how'd you get home adult
Starting point is 00:13:20 beverages I walked home right that's risky it's classic Keith to walk home yeah surprised you didn't know Uber yeah no never heard of it I'm not I get drunk and I just I'm walking I don't know where I called an Uber for Keith on the way here was that your first Uber ever yeah everybody give him a round of applause Keith everybody not an Uber be Uber's only been around for like 32 thousand guys started talking to me about Vietnam there you go weird I talked to a cab driver once about real estate he thinks I know what I'm talking about I don't a lot of people think I know what I'm talking about I love I don't think
Starting point is 00:14:00 anyone thinks they you know I am smart sometimes anyway anyway so what happened you went to the Jesus you went to the ditty you came home I actually heard you come home and I just figured that everything would be fine because you've been on a hot streak lately where you just drinking you're totally cool yeah but this time yeah I read the text and then it's like it's like I'm going back and I don't like it all right so I I'm gonna try and find the text all right I think I screenshot it because I'll read the text message that I received and then you can kind of explain okay what text message I got a text from mom well
Starting point is 00:14:39 she put in the group chat with all of us and so my mom in the morning right 8 a.m. she sends this text to the group chat with me and my siblings and as you all know if you're if you're an avid listener to the podcast you know who black out Keith is this was years ago that was that person emerged so then five years ago so my mom just text this black out Keith returned last night looked like a wild orgy took place clothes socks underwear hanging from everywhere jeans with belt stuffed into the toilet one leg dangling out and the telltale sign half eaten candy cane on the sink so I ask you Keith yeah what the fuck happened I
Starting point is 00:15:27 don't even know I woke up naked well that's for sure and I was soaking that must be a really comfortable sleep it's not dude cuz I pee I mean well stop then get naked or did you get naked and then pee I got naked and then went to sleep naked and then peed there you go but look okay this is what happened right mom cuz mom gave me a better details than that right I suppose well it's not supposedly this happened went into the bathroom took off my ugly Christmas sweater threw that in this in the in the tub were you angry while doing this fucking nose ah so through that into the tub yeah then I took off my pants
Starting point is 00:16:18 stuffed them into the fucking into the toilet hold on a second it's not done oh I know I know before you move on the fact that you took your jeans with the belt that's a star just stuff them into the toilet like we were you trying to flush him you know it's the fucked up part I probably peed on top of them I'm sorry why would you stop them in the toilet fucking nose all right anyway what else was that of order my boxers were in the sink yeah soaking wet right hope you my shirt my shirt was on like like hanging over the fucking shower so that when I woke up in the morning and then I guess I left completely naked
Starting point is 00:17:09 obviously and just for good measure put a sock on the door like a do not disturb sign the best part about this whole thing it's like I had a it's like I had an orgy with myself in there the best part about this whole thing is that you were you went to the Christmas tree and took a candy cane off it and I probably did it naked was it was it a starburst flavored one no man peppermint only no it's wack you kidding me cherry bro you guys are the name was cherry I saw it you left it if you eat a fucking candy cane that's not peppermint you're a Nazi let's move on all right I'm not talking about this anymore fucking cherry and
Starting point is 00:17:50 starburst candy candy kidding me you're on your own bro me keep eating that starburst shit I said fucking cherry starburst cherry candy starburst jelly beans are out of control oh my god speaking again the game dangerous what well you have like five jam into your pocket can I have one I have one so give me half let me have had we're not that good let me get the bottom part that's the best one the rainbow flavor give me how do you eat the hook part yeah you can give me whatever yeah you give me the bottom I put it all in my mouth all right you know what yes how do you eat candy canes all at once okay wow so how
Starting point is 00:18:31 do you do it so what if it was the whole thing I suck on it no but I mean like alright so this is what I do I break the hook off weirdo eat the hook and then I eat this the straight wait you suck on it like this look that's not what I'm saying no no no this is delicious I barely I barely suck on the candy can I just chew that shit up your lighter it's like I barely have a lot I don't like the suck on lollipops people's jokes you're a biter I don't steal people's jokes you steal people's jokes I don't steal people's jokes name one joke I stole people steal jokes from me I am your jokes the fuck does that mean you
Starting point is 00:19:08 don't even know what you're saying I can't Christmas and are you one of those people that just holds the hook and then sucks on the straight part until it becomes a shank nah people do that I don't like he does that yeah he's a fucking idiot you don't think I'll stab you with that shit Keith here we go better kill me with it otherwise I'm gonna kill you blackout is back out yeah it's blackout with his cock out really blackout with the jeans stuffed in the toilet that's my favorite thing that should be my calling card that entire that entire just it's like hold on the wet band that's that's who I am stuffing the
Starting point is 00:19:44 jeans in the toilet the funniest part about that is that they weren't placed you jammed them yeah like I was angry you probably had toilet water up to your fucking elbow you're jamming in the yo if you would have flushed it dude what if I pissed on top of it no I've been great if you shit on top of your note and great no no no no no it'd have been great if I passed out on the floor naked oh man and mom saw me she would have called me again and I was like spread eagle on the floor god I can do a whole nother stand-up show now I got new material from Keith thank you it's what I'm here for Joe
Starting point is 00:20:24 jeans stuff I want to give you a bubble bath while you're my favorite my favorite drunk story it's not even that funny though was when I pissed myself bad woke up instead of changing just put myself in the dirty laundry and slept in the dirty laundry that's pretty that was great that was when I passed out and you had to wake me up was very responsible oh great I don't even remember that honestly I was probably drunk I feel bad no you were mom called you upstairs you know I you told me wake up you little bitch and I woke up and threw up everywhere yeah my dad did the same thing to me dumb fuck I knocked out on the
Starting point is 00:21:01 couch he woke me up threw up everywhere I was like why don't you fucking leave me alone seriously well then he would have thrown up in your sleep he kind of saved your life no I was I was knocked out and he woke me up go to bed I was like dick you just made the worst mistake of your life four seconds there yeah when I'm drunk just let me sleep man because if I wake up and yeah I guess yeah you throw up in the fucking tub I have a bad cold I was awake though during that dude it was brown who throws up brown yeah I don't know why that was that what what was
Starting point is 00:21:34 going on I legit thought you shit in the set in the tub like you threw up secrets Anna no no this was years ago this was like four or five by the way we do in a super bowl party or not are you kidding we're not gonna do so yeah we do that's in February can we get past fucking Christmas first we gotta plan ahead yo we have to have a super bowl party Joey of course we're having a super bowl party I'll be my backyard freezing hammered I hope I'm not sick like now I'm I think I'm gonna be sick for Christmas how does my voice I hope I'm not sick in February what the fuck it sounds depressed does my voice sound
Starting point is 00:22:09 bad yeah I'll be honest I hate it I don't sound seductive no no one thinks it's already so seductive dancing on me yeah see like that's terrible like the way that is making me depressed oh not horny no okay we're not there yet I need another beer need another beer I'm a turn over to do the given Davino I'm gonna need you to stop okay okay before we go any further let's do some sponsors here I waited all night for this what man first one back to back we got in docino okay what I've never heard of this we did it last week weren't you here no it's just me and you oh right shit it's one of the largest made to
Starting point is 00:23:00 measure men's will men's wear brands they are making it easy for men to get great fitting high quality suits and shirts at an incredible price he's trying to get a suit he was just saying he's like I need a suit for fucking New Year's Indochino bro Indochino buddy and listen listen Davino this is how it works you vid you visit Indochino comm all right or drop by one of their nine North American showrooms get your foot off me wait where shut up one pick from hundreds of fabrics and patterns choose your customizations to all these different shit you can get submit your body measurements which you probably
Starting point is 00:23:39 don't know so figure those out no kickback relax and get ready to step into the best most stylish suit you've worn in just four weeks have you got one yet I have this week my listeners can get any premium Indochino suit for just three hundred and eighty nine dollars okay at Indochino comm when entering basement at checkout that's fifty percent off regular price for made to measure premium suit plus shipping is free okay that's Indochino comm promo code is basement three hundred eighty nine dollars and free shipping okay there you go Davino fucking New Year's solid the next one we got is stance stance has
Starting point is 00:24:24 turned one of the world's most boring accessories socks into one of its most exciting by turning them into a canvas canvas for self-expression okay I actually have a ton of stance shit all right I'm gonna tell you guys something here okay no one knows this and I probably shouldn't be saying it because I hope they're not listening but so I got a promo code from stance right to have there to try their product and it was good for a certain amount of money and I have the code and it just kept working so I kept getting stuff now I have a bunch of stance shit and it's all great underwear their socks like they're all
Starting point is 00:25:11 fired they have fire Christmas socks by the way they have NBA socks college football or whatever like any college socks I was gonna get you Alabama ones I'm trying to get some Star Wars socks there's Star Wars underwear they have like a Death Star on them and like Darth Vader their fire boxer briefs which I only wear like that's it now I refuse to go to anything else I know boxers not I hate boxers I need boxers when I'm playing I need I need some like I need to hold together my shit I don't like can I have yours then I don't really have boxes can I have some don't wear boxers dude you guys gotta get briefs box I'm
Starting point is 00:25:46 wearing like the tightness I'm wearing briefs right now under my brief yeah but it's not stance so it's very easy to get off if you know what I'm doing a fucking thing they better be stance or it's garbage all right I'm good I'm good there's also like baseball socks and shit too so you can get pretty much anything yeah what where was I reading just now stance has a completely redefined a classic Christmas table socks and underwear and made them the most coveted gift this holiday season and they have gift boxes or sock collection so you can buy a bunch of things at once so go to stance.com caught up for Christmas
Starting point is 00:26:20 delivery is 12 20 with overnight shipping so you know you could get there before there but go to stance.com that's S-T-A-N-C-E dot com anyway so listen before we do a podcast right I have a post it and I just write down like certain things we hit all the points that we pretend to talk about why are you pushing my seat I didn't mean to do that you did that on your own I'm gonna kill you like Dr. Evil I have a plan and he rolls out and so all I all I wrote down here is worst porn you've ever seen wow right I have a couple all right how many have let me go last wave you have a couple just throwing out because we can
Starting point is 00:27:12 always go back to you right go ahead throw one out what's a bad one actually I'll start it off I'll set it off so you guys get comfortable okay I like it careless oh here we go yeah you're a big tough guy here we go I I seen a fucking porno anyway why my voice cracked so I saw this porn once and it freaked me out because I didn't first of all the peeing porn I don't understand that I feel like I've said I feel like I've said that before but that rent like I get like I'm not into this but I can I guess I get when people pee on someone else you know does that but listen I understand some people like to be like
Starting point is 00:27:51 disrespected during you know what I mean so yeah pee on me cuz whatever cool what I don't get is the porn where it's just like a random chick from like Czechoslovakia hiding in between cars pissing on the floor in a parking lot that's weird dudes are jerking off to that that's gross peeing who likes foot jobs dude yeah I'm freaked out by the foot job thing like I'm like no wait you guys don't like feet no I mean I don't like a big hang now either whatever but like the whole you're not touching my dick with your foot I'll see you she walked in the fucking jungle and decided to jerk you off some girls in
Starting point is 00:28:36 fungus some girls in pornos don't even take off their shirt it's just look at my feet it's like no yeah do you know no take off sure I've seen that also cuz you get curious you just kind of wander around but this this one girl had like pantyhose on her feet and we're it was like you're gonna do no no I mean I'm just sorry Joe I didn't even get to the weird part though the one I the worst one I've ever seen but but she had pantyhose on her feet and I'm like I feel like that would hurt a dude yeah like if someone tried to give you a foot job with socks on I'd be like dude you're giving me Indian burn please stop I'm
Starting point is 00:29:13 against the whole I know you're porno what so where's this gonna sound Keith I don't know nothing that I have said has led up to what I'm talking about no what why did you what'd you say I got a great one I run get head say it with the paddle you've never what paddle oh my god I wish I wasn't sick this is terrible too I don't understand how guys are into this yeah I don't know hold on let's start off with it's just like yeah like what do you say by the way I just want to say okay just a disclaimer yes this is like complete like people like you're so judgmental like people should yeah but this is weird to us okay Keith go
Starting point is 00:30:00 sorry I don't understand what you said someone about a paddle yeah but alright it comes in do it was it starts off as a porno right and it progressively gets crazy way too aggressive right to the point where you're just like I'm gonna get arrested for watching this yeah like what's going on here what do you fucking hold on what I'm gonna explain it now because I love that shit yeah here comes this is too aggressive now yeah wait this is like a hundred shades of midnight black let's hear it Keith she out of nowhere right there's no prompting anything yeah she starts like Mike Tyson'ing this guy's
Starting point is 00:30:50 gooch and nut sack I'm not wait wait wait did she have like no it was bare knuckle not like a year it was a bare knuckle fight not even like a UFC glove no oh didn't we all watch that didn't we all see that I don't know I seen that with the girls is punching away at the guy and he's pun he's like scream at this point I was like why am I fucking watching this right I just wanted to see what how could this get any worse right and it did she look good though so now she keeps punching them and then she stops so now you're like you think it's over all right yeah you got your like yeah right let's go back to what it was
Starting point is 00:31:32 supposed to be when I turned it on I don't think I think and then and then a fucking ping-pong paddle comes out of nowhere and she starts paddle in this guy's dick that hurts paddle in the dick yeah I'm like what the fuck is going up I know I've said it before you could you could tie me up you could smack me you could choke me do whatever you want right goddamn once you touch my balls I will turn into the Hulk and eat you so wait what was your bed and that's how I see like when the guys like a fucking the girl like in the ass and like they spread her asshole open oh my god it looks like an eye socket without the
Starting point is 00:32:13 eye it grosses me the fuck out little dark tunnel it's like I don't even want to know no very graphic oh fuck my ass and it's like we watch British porn as that not I was my Spanish accent that was Spanish boppy fuck me you need to work on that yeah I'm not a fucking pro mine was like it was this dude I got a worse one too but I don't know what happened isn't it very strange how like I really wonder with porn how isn't it crazy how people are into like stuff like that like that gets people going sometimes that's like worse than a farm animal right there I'm what does that mean I don't know that makes no sense it
Starting point is 00:33:00 that's not an expression she could beat this shit out it's a far it's a it's a farm animal now it's an expression now but like some people who like even slapping right I love it Davino loves it like girl slapping your ass no she's smack me in the face but yeah right you're a little choke not mad I'm not against it I really I'm not I don't think I'd hit a girl though because like I mean I've because if she says smack I'll smack I won't go on my own terms yeah no you can't do that no never that'll end it real quick yeah unless she took your hand and slapped herself no if she goes please smack me I'll smack her but
Starting point is 00:33:41 not like you know like those sounds that was a little harder than the last one yeah you're you're just facial expression changed you looked less angry you know like I don't even sound like Star Wars what the hell goes on there man it's just when they catch you by surprise like listen I just want to put it out there I'm not really judging at all it's just I'm it's just it's put it in the title yeah but just put in the title so I know like it's when it catches me off guard I can't help but judge but agreed it was just like this whole casting you know the casting behind the scenes no like the casting call shit okay well
Starting point is 00:34:23 there's like a blood the guy the guy's like oh yeah no we're just gonna take some pictures whatever and they take some pictures like yeah I'm you're gonna have to blow me how does it get there that quickly turn on this camera you gotta oh yeah hold on real quick you mean like oh yeah like here's a $200 when you suck my dick and they waved the $200 yeah I mean I really don't want to it's not my thing like you're here to fucking fuck me the greatest is like it will start off at 200 then he'll go to 300 and then from there it goes to like 2000 yeah always hold out for more 2000 right the worst the worst negotiators in
Starting point is 00:35:00 the world I mean it's all fake anyway I know there was actually one time I mean I hope a lot of this is all staged and now of course and there was a lot of what the hell was I saying up so there was a while ago I was watching a movie with Sammy and then it ended and like the credits went whatever and we weren't paying attention we were just like talking whatever I'm also in a movie started and it was kind of low budget and like we just got into this we were like guessing like is this important like is it I don't know if it and then I mean I've seen many a porno you know so but I so I'm looking at it I'm like
Starting point is 00:35:32 there's no way this is a porno I'm like no it's not like it because you know how porn is that kind of like low budget whatever yeah it's not like filmed right but there was no words yet it was just like whatever but I thought it was one of those soap operas you know the soap you see on TV that's like it's different than movies I know you don't so I'm like no I think this is just one of those like Spanish soap operas things I don't know and then she's like no I think this is a porno and I was like no it's not good and then this is a guidance girl and they went in the backyard of some shit and then like dude it went it
Starting point is 00:36:07 was a porno at the end of the day it was a porno but it started like them just talking and then literally jump cuts to fucking tit licking look no I was like no is this and then it's the next scene confirmed like I didn't even see the guy unbuttoned a blouse or anything and it was immediately tit licking all for body I was like wow okay that's good all right tit licking there it goes long story short I lost that bet it was a porno which what or back you remember real sex which wasn't real sex trash taxi cab confessions I don't even know a manual in space the fuck is that yeah you know a manual in space manual in
Starting point is 00:37:00 space oh I was like yeah was that a chicken nailed by aliens yeah a huge touch your tit guy oh yeah yeah I like both I do like both too but I love a good set of I like a nice ass that's me what'd you say I like a nice ass it's conversations taking a drive I like them both but a good set of tots will get me going to the next guys I like personality yeah what was that kid's vine oh no that kid there's this kid he's a viner and he he's like one of those like fucking like weird viner's like they're yeah I farted it's fucking terrible and I can't smell I was stuffy listen it's really bad I have a lot
Starting point is 00:37:52 more that's gonna come out of me I'm just like you know but I think I smell a little bit you don't want to smell it no you don't dude but anyway you're glad you're sick now one of these kids he's a viner and his name is Taylor Kniff and he had his shirt off and he was standing in like a weird position I guess trying to like flex his abs and get the lighting he was trying to get the right lighting on him and he just goes what do I look for in a girl big boobs a nice vagina it was like 15 at the time he could have been a day older than he might have been 14 big boobs a nice vagina I lost it I was dying I was like
Starting point is 00:38:37 yeah I was like this is fucking hilarious it was amazing I was so afraid of vagina is at 14 oh man I didn't I remember when I had a girlfriend and I wouldn't make out with her because my mom told me that if I made out with her I'd get SARS so every time I smell it now every time she went to go like me got me I was like stop stop stop not yet I remember when I first so she almost ruined your whole I remember when I first I'm not I wish I was lying to you I remember when I first made out with a girl I ran to the bathroom wash my mouth that was soap and water soap and I thought I was gonna get something bad
Starting point is 00:39:19 now dude at that time SARS was a big deal I feel like Asian people know more than us because we gotta see them they always sometimes they have masks on like there's something airborne that we don't know about something I'm too tiny of a room to just shit yeah Joey I smell it now please enough listen we're all gonna enjoy the smell we're all good friends we can enjoy the smell together right you're so gross I'm sorry I'm not sorry though I'm just sorry when I set this whole house on fire I don't know if we'll make it out of here I'm starting to get dizzy honestly so much gas and down a lot of methane yeah gas rises hit the
Starting point is 00:40:02 floor does it yeah that'll light in there I don't here we go either easy there Bill Nye appliance guy do you know what's that time say who know you're fucking machine it says a solid for two oh we're chilling let's get the fuck out of you gotta go watch that a real team yeah Joey's gonna go watch this yeah I gotta go do something but anyway Keith we're gonna find you if they want to contact you contact on Instagram and Twitter it's at Keith Santagato and DeVino you contact me at Aunt Vino it's the same thing for everything and TV I know you sound so enthusiastic saying this this is my sex voice yeah do you
Starting point is 00:40:45 want to hear my I don't let's go either when I whispered you like okay guys once again just letting you know the merch store is now open the McGee closet dotbitcartel.com let me just add you're really gonna like one of the shirts on there oh yeah I bought all three of those items if you're if you're a fan of me and there are very few of you you're gonna like the shirt what's the shirt that that's the shut the fuck up like the commercial you're gonna like the way you look I guarantee it oh shit um yeah that's all but McGee is spelled mcgee the McGee closet. Just spell out the whole fucking thing again. Shut the fuck up. No one's
Starting point is 00:41:36 going to your site anyway. It should be called the SpaghettiO's can. I fucking hate this kid. Remember this kid he wanted to make a football move sorry play and it was Red Sour Skittles. Oh it was a good day anyway why don't you go home and shave that fucking beard huh it's getting a lot of heated in here let's get out of here before I fart again thanks for listening you motherfuckers

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