The Basement Yard - The Brother Test

Episode Date: May 23, 2017

On this podcast, I have my brothers on to test our sister's fiance on how well he actually knows her. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the Basement Yard this week. I am joined by my brothers and my sister's fiance Vin is here for the first time. Yeah, you're gonna have to talk into that microphone If you guys can't see if you're not watching this on fullscreen You can sign up fullscreen.com slash basement yard put in the promo code basement and you can get a free month But for those of you who are watching you will notice that Keith shaved his face I had to and now he just looks like Lena Dunham Who's that again? Who's that again? I don't even know how to explain it to you because you definitely don't know who she is

I mean, you'd probably know she like if you saw her, but why am I compared to a girl? I don't know. You look like Lena Dunham right now. She looks like a guy Just look like a middle. I look like a I look like a big fifth grader. You should have kept the beard I liked it. I didn't it was growing. It was terrible. Listen. All you had to do was buzz it down. I had Like no shit pubic. I had a look like I had a comb over right here here But that's why I'm saying you just had to buzz it down when you buzz it down. By the way, I tried to buzz it down it was like Like you fucking I can't really explain it. It was like really weird. Yeah, cuz it was long

No, I had fucking holes and shit on the side of my face. What? Cuz you're it's patchy. Yeah, it's patchy. Yeah, cuz your hairs were fucking long They were a good inch and a half long. They were My chin was like and red is padded I don't know if it was from like sauce or cheese littles, but it was a red spicy nacho It's the Irish roots. We took an Uber on the way here and keeps talking to me I'm like you have sauce on your face. He goes. Yeah, whatever and then he just doesn't wipe it off You're just like, yeah, I don't care. It's just not gonna fucking bother me

You know it's bothering the rest of us. That's good. That's why I'm keeping it down To annoy everybody But the thing I can't stand is the guy that drinks like blue Gatorade and has the fucking ring right here How is that any different? It's a lot worse because it's Gatorade. It's fucking blue as opposed to red and orange You're drinking Gatorade like an asshole. It's fucking really high up. It's like hitting the bridge of your nose You know the bridge of your nose is here, right? You went like this semantics Joe Well, what is this thing? That's like your septum Yeah, you must have missed that class or they were teaching that you're fucking wrong anyway, so shut up

I'm not wrong. This is a step them up here. No That's your bridge The septum is this shit you ever hear of a septum Yeah, I have a deviated septum. Yeah on this side from breaking my nose. That's your septum here The thing in the middle this thing they pierced it. Yeah, that's a septum like where you see cuz when I went to the ear nose and throat doctor They're like What the fuck happened to you she looked at my nose she went all right that one's good and you know, okay She's like I can't even see like where I'm supposed to go. She goes it goes and it's a 90 degree turn

Why were you there cuz that was when I had the tinnitus or tinnitus whatever the fuck it's called you didn't have it You do you do you have that? Yeah, still mm-hmm. You always hear ringing in your ear. Yeah I'm not buying it. I thought that was resolved. It is resolved. That was it was resolved three days later when he realized he was insane Anyone if you can just like if you focus on your hearing you'll hear it was loud as shit I can't round it out. I'm surprised you didn't jam a screwdriver in your fucking ear So anyway, you have Vin on today cuz we're kind of We want to talk to him cuz he's going to marry our sister next year. That's officially a mistake

Good We want to know why A couple questions What's going on here, but I mean I wanted to talk about the first time that you met us and we met you Oh, I think I have three three separate stories for each. Well, you met me first. I met you first. Yeah under yours Unfortunately, yeah, I don't unfortunately his I mean as you could imagine his was the best What I pissed on the couch close Actually, do you do you remember this first time I met you? All right fun. I

We Chen and I were out. We were hanging out. This is before we would before your date and actually I just moved to Queens You had just had your your knee done. Ah So you were home. It was just Whatever was I don't even know the story. I haven't told this This is actually this is hilarious. I'll never forget. It was perfect. It was perfect. He's so come come over He's the only one home. Nobody's home. You guys are all gone. This was just me Shannon and him and I sit up You know her little client, you know, I sit on the recliner because you know, I'm trying to just fit in basically really I don't want to cause an issue here. So you're sitting there

She had a chance talking to him, you know, you introduced me whatever there, you know, really wasn't much there Shannon's talking to him. She's asking him a question. He just kind of stared at her didn't pause quick and then just farted What kind of fart was it? Just like a just like that The first time he was there I could care less dude. I that was it for me That was about as good as an introduction as I needed it. I'm like, we're that's I'm good I know he's he's it all right. Well, I gotta behave different because there's someone else in the house blast and off That is bulls. Oh my god

Joe just made a big deal about Keith farting because it was the first time is meeting Vince the first time nine was over the house Oh, he's literally sitting next to her like me close. Yes closer. Oh, yeah You're you were all you were fired like closer and he's sitting with his legs up like this and they're talking and all of a sudden he just farted Like me or him? And then we look at him kind of like And he's like dude, I don't even know her yet. He's like what we're all hanging out Wait, was it like silent like to be fair was it? No, it wasn't like though. It was so small terrible. It wasn't though To be fair by the way for those who don't know would you call her D9?

Nine nine is Tom's name is evolved Thomas's girlfriend. Her name is nine to us, but That wasn't the first time she was there. There was what there was no way I'm gonna ask her I'm pretty sure No, no, I actually I concur. Yeah, I think I think it was you go like what we're all hanging out You know you're real dick for that. All right, what I Was one seat removed from from her so I know what she was talking about it wasn't it wasn't pleasant No, you know why I don't think that I Waited so she left so I at least yeah now

From Ted Tom I'm telling you right now in the movie Ted where he's like on a date with her Whenever she gets man walks away as soon as she walks away. He rips a huge fart and goes fine Dude, that was the funniest thing in the world because I thought I was the only one who did that Whenever I'd be hanging out with a girl. I'd be sucking in farts into my intestines and they'd be expanding for you That's impossible. Yeah, and then as soon as they're out Just air be flying out of everywhere. It's the same. I would feel air coming out of my mouth No, but I don't think that was the first time I met her because I do vividly remember Keith asking you Is it okay if we fart in front of her

But now I don't care Everyone else yes, so you think that he used rational thought and then asked maybe I should nothing is a rational thought with me That's not true. It was a hundred to the first ever play in the headbands game I'm vividly her favorite sounds like this is awesome. I'm gonna bring this up in a podcast I'm pretty sure yeah, I think and I think the reason what you're thinking of is she like left the room Maybe for like a second or two. She probably had a fart interjected with is it okay to fork it right pretty sure Where do we stand on gas No, I'm not even I might just walk past her and fart now

I remember when we were My dad used to lose his mind whenever we would fart like loud you get so many oh you disgust Your mother and your sister sit right there There was one time where Keith was super young and he was sitting on my mom's lap Oh Shit, and then he pretended to pick something up off the ground like oh I dropped something and farted it was loud In her face it echoed in our small room. She was like oh and slapped him on the ass my dad flipped the fuck out I'm sorry for cursing

Keith is literally he can't be older than me. He's like six seven years old God and we're in church Oh, man, we were there early This is a classic before the masses started. So we're all sitting in a row the wooden pew Like a nightmare, so it's not really that crowded all of a sudden Out of Keith low body comes like the most disgusting part. That's like like you're verborating off the wooden pew Yeah, like you blow into an elbow as hard as possible So it literally echoes all over the place to the extent that everyone turn like all the old ladies that sit in the front

Yeah, they all turn around and then as they're turning around Keith like gets embarrassed and points like this Gramped him and pulled him underneath the pew and beat the shit In the middle of church in the middle of church. Sorry God as he for forgiveness as she is sitting Yeah Almost took out the Bible. I remember that I remember that it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my whole We can't be in church without laughing. I were where were we recently and I was looking over laughing What about the woman that farted in front of me? We're there on Christmas. Oh, yeah There's a couple standing in front of us in sweatpants and all of a sudden you hear like oh no no

It was the smell it smelled so bad and my dad immediately turns And I'm like no They were and that's the thing Keith When we'd be in church like you're obviously not supposed to laugh and we can't look at each other I was real laugh Keith would always try to make everyone laugh because he would look down the row at everyone Something like out of the ordinary would happen and then he just lean over What about the guy that looks and it sounded sexual? Oh He did that or like what the fuck

Oh And I'm trying not to look so I'm trying to laugh. We were at a funeral I'm just dying. I don't I forgot who's funeral it was but we were at a funeral and that happened And I can see in my peripherals just Keith leaning and looking over at me and I'm not gonna fuck There's the priest put in too much incense and was burning everybody's eyes That was another thing everyone kept coughing because they got a burning shit. There's people leaving that was it And flows funeral that's what it was like a fire. Yeah, the guy was the guy I couldn't fucking see him put a lot in the box. He was on how I was sitting was on the stage

You just gonna burst into flames What is that called altar he's on the altar couldn't see him this day You know you went to Catholic school You're at the Catholic school. What an accent is that? I I Need a drink good Why don't you drink next to the mic so people can hear your truck and drink real piss This could get the loud the loudest

That's not normal, what is that is loud? I'm all the way over here. I broke my neck everything you do is that has nothing to do with it, Keith You don't break your neck and become a loud swallower That's not how that works It's fucked up my swallowing breaking my neck. No, I'm like that when you were a child drinking out of a bottle Yeah, I don't remember that Obviously Everything you do is loud Drink loud the piss the place is the let's the loudest piss I've ever heard

What time we were doing this show and he got up in the middle of it and walked into the bathroom took a piss with the love My god Apologize to the sound guy. It's like sorry sound guy. You're my stream This kid's dick hole is the size of a quarter Silver dollar dick seeing size like whoa literally it's like spraying a hose into the toilet There's a kickback. I gotta like get a stance. I Don't I Got a tiny day. Thanks for clearing that up

So we really got off tracks, huh after a hot start hot start hot start Also, one of the first times that I can remember Vin I was vlogging randomly one time and then Shannon got flowers in the mail This was like like you guys like a long time ago. You guys like hung out and then stopped talking and then I remember that yeah, yeah, so he said he's got about that He sent her flowers and I was vlogging at the time She's like oh this guy vins so many flowers I'm like what the fuck is Vin and then she and then I forgot what the cars

I think it said just because yeah, you know that either was the just because yeah fire Yeah, you're all just a good one which everyone should yet. Yeah, so I was like I was like Shannon Are you crying right now? She's like no, I was like are you crying and then she started crying and that was the first time that I remember That's right. Yeah, I was like this is Vin Shit, it's not you and then you had her. Yeah, exactly. That's that is true. Yeah, that was pretty that was that was a quick I was still living in the city then back then that was a that was a dope move Before we get to this quiz that we're gonna give in let's do the sponsors real quick first one We have is zip recruiter. Are you hiring?

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Put together a quiz here get out of here to find out how well You know Shannon. All right, let's do this. All right. We're gonna start off. We're gonna start off slow Should we see if we even know the answer after you ask? Hold on. Can we start with Keith? Yeah, far fine. Yeah, start with Keith Wait, what are you talking about? Exactly. You don't even know what's going on. I've been talking. Yeah, don't give the answer Let's see who gets it right. All right. I wish we had boards so we could just hold them up But anyway, I'm sure we're gonna start we're gonna start all right, Keith. You're gonna give your answer and then And then we'll we'll see if it knows um

No, no, no, how about we all like that? Keith is the panel. I'm up against Keith. Yeah, essentially. What is Shannon's birthday? Oh, fuck. It's uh, it just passed. Yeah Uh may third yes, are you kidding me? What what you think her birthday's May 3rd? Did you just say yes? What you said? Yeah, you said yeah What are you looking at over there? What what the Let's go. What's her birthday? May 6 May 6. Fuck me. I see my birthday. Who fucking cares? May 3rd. Yeah You know who agrees with you Joey that idiot host over there. That's right. You guys are close. This guy has a fucking show

I said on Thomas's birthday. I gotta get your birthdays mixed up. I'm all fucked up. Okay. Now. We're gonna start off. Yes This is also kind of slow. It's obvious. That was a gimme. Wait, hold on Do you have it wrote written? Okay Written down over there May 3rd No, okay, uh What's Shannon's middle name? Ah, shit. Are you acting like you don't know these or do you actually not know? Um Elizabeth yes, okay. It's Elizabeth. Yeah, like the american pie chick. That's how I remember it. This question is for

It is like a warm pie the american pie chick the original one her name's Shannon Elizabeth That's a very good original american american pie the american pie chick like the first one the first one. Yeah Not why are you so confused by that? There's a lot of girls in there. Oh the one that's named shadow elizabeth. Yeah, yeah Yeah Oh, oh, yeah, she's she's fine. That's like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's one. Yeah, she's pretty hot married her Hey, you never know It's early. It is um This one's for vinn. What's her blood type?

Dude, I don't know what my blood type is. What's your blood type? I have no idea exactly Why does she know what blood type? Hold on. I have a better question. She knows the answer That as a joke when she knew I was like I'm asking him that she would know Wait, I'm gonna guess. All right. Oh positive No, okay All right, listen two for three. All right. All right. If anyone gets that then fine. I know it. What is it? Oh negative it is. Oh, why do you know that? I didn't even know there was a positive or a negative I was just throwing that out. Hold on. I was thinking. Can you name all the blood types a b positive a b negative?

Uh, oh negative a positive What the fuck am I saying? Oh positive. Oh negative a b positive No, there's a b. No. Yeah, and then there's there's a no, that's not a Is there a yeah, there's a positive a negative b positive b negative And that's hit Is there a b? There is a b. Oh, see, I wouldn't have I didn't Hey, I'm good at science, man. A b and everything else. I just suck. All right. History's I literally don't know. I literally don't know my own

Ask me. I'm dead serious. He's like ask me a science question. How many bones are in the human body? What else you got Regis? How many bones are in the body? How many teeth do you have? You have 32 How many bones are there? And 12 that was that's not true. That was a confident 32 206. Yeah 206 unless you have bones. We don't know. I got bones in my dick All right Next question, what's Shannon's shoe size? In my They're different in uh 12 youth

Girl sizes, I don't know. Let's go. I've had to buy shoes. I don't know how many times She keeps making those Six and a half seven and a half son of a bitch. Well, you don't know her at all. He doesn't know her at all You know what this means her foot's way bigger than he thinks Shannon if you're watching Sasquatch big fucking feet She was freaking out about her hands. She's like, oh my god, they're my fucking hands. I'm like, what are you talking about? Oh, I just saw that dude. I listened to her on soundcloud. She cut her hands. No, I didn't see it, but she's gonna say she had gigantic hands

Yeah, that's like she likes that. I'm like, I don't know. She has something to fucking say It's like my head that would be if you had hands like a plumber My head was fucking gigantic when I was a baby. It's probably the cells still the same size Yeah I was I still um shit. I missed shoe size. I should know that one. All right. What's her eye color? Whoa, really? You can't say yes or no then no, I won't just give us your blow What's your guess same? Okay good. I like this better. I'm not knowing the answer. Yeah. Yeah, okay

Okay, what medication is she allergic to? Keith, Keith looks like Keith turned his head. He's like, wait a minute. Amoxicillin That's the only thing that came to my mind. I'm gonna take a shot and say this It is amoxicillin. You guys are one two hundred dollars. I think my brother's allergic to that too. That's the other reason why I wanted it Nevermind I took amoxicillin recently because I had like a delicious it gives you Gives you farts. You gotta be careful. First of all, it fucks me up completely. It does bad

Dude, amoxicillin because it's a brand. It's like a brand. You would know when you got amoxicillin. First of all, I had a group That's amoxicillin. Oh, that ain't right. That ain't normal me. I had a grapefruit. I just peed smelled exactly like you had a grapefruit Yeah Wait, what you're eating healthy. What's going on? I even it smelled like it like it like it's like I peed out one like asparagus No, just yeah, just like grapefruit like it smelled like you peed out grapefruit. Basically It smelled like it just like grapefruit. Yeah, but amoxicillin I took that recently because I had like a tooth abscess or some shit and It fucking it's so first of all, I shit weird

And I'm telling you it does it's like nine different textures What yeah, it's like it starts out as as as like a solid then it's like A mushy and then it's just I'm spraying And it's yellow just burns yellow. Maybe we're all allergic to it not just Shannon I don't know we're just taking it but I I then and then also I would be doing something and looking down And snot would just fall out of my nose like water. Do you know there's a certain point in the year? This is gonna be a this is a lie. This has recently happened to me to my whole age Is where that'll happen to me where I'm like like at work like at my desk like looking down or like typing and then all of a sudden just like

Yeah falls out See my life is so fucked up. That doesn't happen to me. It's just blood. I know He gets full of nosebleeds. I'm slowly going. Yeah, you have more nosebleeds than most I was taking home. I was taking I remember this I was in high school taking a religion final Looking down taking my test blood just started pouring out of both nostrils blood all over my test I raised my hand. I'm like Can I like Like get like get the fuck out of here and

Can you give me a new test? No, no, no, you can't leave. You can't leave till you take I'm like There's blood all over my fucking test. Can I get out of here? It's good Yeah, right But it's there was shit flying out of my nose and then I could to the point where I thought I was bleeding Because like, you know when you get a nosebleed it's like it rushes down. Yeah. Yeah. Oh shit. It's the same Catch me go that's happening. So I did that. I was like, oh, I have a nosebleed and then when I wiped it. It was just this yellow shit, and I'm like What is I'm sick moxa moxa pilling moxa sillon pill just throw her it out

That was so sick. Yeah, dude, this podcast Give me a high five. That's my favorite. I love it. I really do love that. Um, all right What is her favorite food? Well, I mean, I know this very well. I'm so I'm gonna take a guess at what she answered. She has a couple, but I'm gonna say Wings No Depend what mood she was in ice cream in these no Steak steak

It was one of the three. All right, so that was that was ice cream. She's consistent. I said her favorite food Not yours. She used to say ice cream. Do you still have steak night? She used to say ice cream. We do have steak night We do have steak night every now and then. It was steak and cake night. Yeah, they used to make steaks and then bake a cake That happened one time and now they just all pop and johns and she pounds us That's what it that's what it came down to one time Literally, we made steaks and baked a cake and it turned into steak and cake. That is that never happened again Yeah, I was gonna say if you were doing that weekly that is heavy never happened. That's uh, you're looking at that But with the rest of the cake, did you guys just crush the cake?

It turned into enemins and whatever that probably had one slice and then you just show And I just ate you put the rest in a blender. We'll find drink it. It's like, oh good. No, I don't have to order Shaggy's later $60 a night delivered to the wrong house That wasn't the first time either joey just happened to be home Yeah, that was like that was that was like the second time that's happened like two or three times That's happened a couple times like the delivery guy shows up to our house and I get scared I'm like, what the fuck is this not gonna my door dogs are barking

Yeah, the dogs are barking and everyone's upstairs and I'm like, oh shit. So I open the door. It's a delivery guy I'm like, what's up? He's like food and I was like, I didn't order any food and I look and it says You know, it says him. I'm like, oh god You forgot his name. So I called. No, I didn't I didn't know if I was gonna say his full name He's gonna be out there, you know, but my social security number fucking feds are watching So I I call him and I'm like, dude, did you order Chinese food? And he's like, yeah, why I'm like because the guy's standing right here And he's like, oh, I'm gonna I'm gonna come get it. I'm like, I'm just gonna send him. He has a bike I heard the guy in the background. He's like, no, I'll tell him. It was like 11 30. Yeah, it was like it was midnight

I was like, who the fuck's ordering Chinese food right now. I had just been with you guys for the entire night We were eating we had dinner and shit And he's like Thanksgiving two and a half hours later. He's like, yeah, can I get $40 worth of Chinese food, please? It was yeah, and then the next morning they're like, hey mom remember when Ben said you liked your cooking? We have proof to the dog He threw it at me. It wasn't even just a snack. It was the other day We made big ziti for thomas's birthday and we're driving in the car and my mom and we pick up ben to drop him off home and then I had the thing in my lap it was covered with whatever and uh

He's he was like, oh, what is that smells great? Mom's like big ziti. Why don't you run inside and get a bowl and we'll just scoop it out I was like, what I was like, what are you talking about mom? And he's like, no, I have a tupperware So I was in the backseat scooping out fucking big ziti. Just so happen to have a tupperware on me Oh, you didn't hear this? I had it. I just happened to have a tupperware. I was I was fucking around I was just going to hold to clean it and it I had it And I'm like, you know, just speaking to which I do have a tupperware here scooping scooping in the back seat of the car I got a full thing of ziti. It was amazing. It was good to see you though. Are you like, you kidding me? It was great

Of course, great. I still have it. Do you? Probably gonna need it when I get home and a cupcake. There you go. I'll probably skip it go right to the cupcake I gotta get rid of the cupcakes, man. You can't let those go bad like fine. I was a piece Yeah, because you fucking bought them Next question Favorite dead celebrity Oh, this is an easy one chewing. I'm not gonna answer this. You guys go first rod zombie He's alive. First of all, his name is rob. All right, would you say rod?

Rod Stewart Rod zombie is the porto act Yeah, this was easy. He sounds dead. I thought you took another crack at it. I thought you were saying shoe in like that was a person's name A dead celebrity? No, right. This is I'll give you a hint. Who the fuck has a favorite dead celebrity? When you hear it, it's gonna make sense. They're not currently All right, I'll give you a hint. I'll give you a hint. I was literally talking about this like last night in the living room Yeah, I wasn't paying attention at all No, no one you want to guess. I know this one. It's easy. Audrey Hepburn. Yeah

She's got a fucking big ass painted. I wish I've met you. All right harder one here. Relax fucking psycho. What? You ever see those posts which I met you? You're my idol all of a sudden shit. It's like relax Oh, she posted on instagram. She's like calm down. I was born in the wrong era. Yeah, right Can we just say something? Can we go back to gloves? It's like, all right She does say that. I don't see a man on my nose man. That would have been hilarious The Kentucky Derby was at the end. She goes look at the hats. I wish we could just wear that every day. Yeah, right? The fuck? Like you'd take like 40 hours to get ready if you had to fucking do that shit By the way, and I know she's gonna watch this. You know, I have to get something off my chest

She loves calling me a narcissist. Have you checked out her instagram? Everything is a selfie every day every day on snapchat. There's like 35 pictures of herself and I'm the narcissist That's me too. But only it's like me making fun of myself. That's because you're a narcissist, but like You're trying to decide. No, he's trying to be funny and failing All right next question favorite alive celebrity I don't think any of you are gonna get this Can we get a hint maybe is it can I get a male or a female? It's a female. All right. All right. Oh, I know it Oh, I know this. I know the answer to this. What is it? Um, it's the chick that's married to borat. I don't know her name

She's in a wedding pressure. What wait, I don't think that's it. I love I don't know I love is look. I love you don't know who this is. It's not I love fit. I love The chick married the all right She does like I know celebrities by face don't know their names. Oh, okay. I know what she is. No, it's not her All right, then I'm done googled her. That's how you know she is right. I I know the name I just didn't know like the face tom. He should know the answers So who is it? It is Kate Middleton. Oh fuck. All right. Well, oh, I guess that's a celebrity. Who's Kate Middleton?

No, no, no, no, that's uh, the british. Uh, yeah, she's like the queen or something the british broad She's like the queen She married uh, harry. No prince. Um, that's a bambua Prince Ali All right, bambua All right, all right, that's these next these there's there's not for terry. It's uh, william. Yeah prince william Yeah, harry's is all over harry's a nut harry's all over the place. It's great Okay, uh next one

Her favorite Her favorite nail polish great. I'll give you a hint. This is liliapal. Yeah, but it is you're never you're never gonna get it Wait, we're gonna guess the name of the color spring pillow honestly. It just it sounds like a horse's name It's vanity fairest What yeah, good luck She she told me that she's gonna try to name like your first kid Yeah, your kid's gonna have three fucking banana boat

Banana supreme Keith, I would love to know what you think who fucking knows what my kid's name is maybe if you have a daughter First name that pops your head right now go unfurth Unfurth. I'm kidding. Is that from a video? I don't even know. Is that from a video? No, that's from grendel. Um, what's grendel bail off? Isn't grendel all that's grundle. He talks to a guy grundle He talks to somebody cold unfurth and I just always thought it was funny because that was like it's like probably the most hideous name in the world So what do you what would you name your daughter? Who knows? I don't know

I really have no idea. Okay, relax To be honest, that is very true She's probably gonna be the type of girl that's not gonna let him make any sort of decision. Yeah, no show Um, what perfume does she wear? Oh, I know this Wait, what what perfume does she wear? Unless she changed it up recently which is entirely possible. You go first. I think I know it It's probably something stupid like moonlight something

close No, I think it's burberry. It is burberry. Look at that. He's on fire. All right. She's expensive. All right. I didn't get vanity ferris Vanity ferris if you would have got vanity ferris, it would have been weird. Yeah, it would have been like oven You failed. We could stop now I felt this whole episode was just us kind of just talking shit about She had to dumb fucking name We're big hands What's her favorite big fucking eyes? That's what happens if one of us isn't there. You just talk shit about it

That's true. When she said she wasn't coming to him. Like, oh, you're in trouble. There's no way Who's her favorite shoe designer? That's kind of not who like what brand like them. Um, that's kind of the way up. Yeah, I know I know that one I'll give Keith a shot here. Um, we'll go with louis Yeah, the one with louis what? baton, what is it? Louis baton baton was it the tin louis baton boutin. Are you talking about? Oh He's baton. He's got it. I'll give him that. I don't know which one he's saying though. First of all, there's louis baton baton

No, no, no The one with the fucking red on the bottom. We're on with something here. All right, fine. Yeah, I thought we were gonna let him go Who fucking puts the names that close? People I don't think they just like decided to do that together. Yeah, that's stupid Why because there's louis baton, but he said louis baton And then there's like we're fucking twirling shit Yeah, it's just like a combination between the twos. I didn't know which one you picked there. That's the yeah, but as you can see I don't know fucking fashion. Yeah, clearly you're wearing

I this is actually a fact. I've never went shopping for clothes ever Shannon usually does that and I don't care my mom or my sister bought off all of my clothes And I don't give a shit. She's doing me a favor one item of clothing never ever socks No, I find it hard to believe you had to have at some point. No, I bought you a shirt. That was it That was it I've never went shopping some of the stuff you say I don't even know if you could hear

I'll be honest with you. He might be right. No, I know I'm right because I definitely did it. No, he's definitely right And you know what? I'll be honest The ball kind of freaked me out. I hate it. It's too many stores. I don't get me wrong when she when shan buys me shit She's doing me a favor like I don't have to go and do it myself. I hate it I buy everything online. Let's go. I cyber Monday. I spend like 500 bucks and I don't buy clothes for you. You're good for two years Hurry up. You're good All right, next next one here a favorite person in the world

This is fucked up. Is it a dog or is it a human being? Oh, I just blew it. Didn't I? It's Chase. It is Chase. It's not a furry dog. So that's such a misleading, the fact that I got that right because it was misleading, favorite person in the world It wasn't misleading. Try to fool up that. And I nailed it anyway. He's on top of his shit today. I mean, Chase is bad ass. I mean, that's fine. And that's kind of unknown, like it's, I come second to chase and I'm fine with that.

He's an asshole though, Chase. Trying to get him inside is like so fucking annoying. Oh, here we go. To look around Well, like you try to tell him to come inside. It's like fucking two in the morning. He doesn't chase. No one knows what you're talking about. You're talking shit about our dog. Yeah. All right. He's an asshole. All right, here's. He doesn't come inside though.

He doesn't. He takes his sweet fucking time. This sounds very personal. And then I have to take like three steps down the fucking stairs and then he runs past me. And then he looks at the door like, why aren't you fucking opening? He does that every time. That is what he does. Can't stand him. He's fucking with you. If the dog ends up dead tomorrow, we know what happened. Oh, yeah. That's not me.

I did that on a mailman. I've seen him scare the shit out of a bunch of mailmen. What sport did she play growing up? Oh, man. What? She played sports? There was one that she played. Well, there was two, but I don't count it as a sport. She played like she was on a team. She was on a team.

She was on a team. Oh, yeah, there are two. Well, I've seen her hit. She can hit. Hit what? Softballs. I mean, I've taken her to the banding cages and she can hit. She can hit the bench. That's not because of practice. That's just God giving a bill. Is that your final answer?

No, it's not my final answer. Let's see here. Can I phone a friend? Don't phone me. We're going to pull the audience. I should know, but I don't know why. Girl's sports. A lot of dead air. A lot of dead air here.

I'll go softball. It is softball. It is. Okay. She can rake, dude. Do you know what her nickname was? She can rake. Do you know what her nickname was in that song? Two seconds ago, you didn't even know she played a sport.

But it's all coming back to me. Do you know what her nickname was? She had a nickname in... She had a nickname in softball. What? The strikeout queen. Really? She would cry every day.

Who gave her that? Probably Keith. She still cries every day. At the game, she would just cry. Like, I don't know why. But she would... I'm surprised. She played softball.

Dude, no joke. We went to the Vatican Cage. I don't even know. Like, last summer or whatever it was. And she can rip. And I was like, whoa. Did not see that coming. All right.

Barry. Definitely not the strikeout queen. She didn't miss. What was Shannon's nickname growing up? Given to her by my mother. I obviously don't know this one. Oh, I know. This is...

What you guys would know this. My mom has crazy nicknames for all this. She was the answer. Yeah, I know each one of yours. For this one. Shani something? Shani Fufu? That's...

I mean, that is a good answer. Shani Fufu? Yeah. Do you know the other one? You might not know it. I think... I mean, I remember her... I specifically remember her saying that

her mom used to wake her up in the morning and be like, Shani Fufu or something. But other than that, I don't know. That's another... That's one of them. You should put this... She called her this from now on. So anyway, my name was Joey Lowellew.

Keith was Keety Cuda, dude. I didn't know that one. And him is what? Thomas was Sonny Bunny. Yeah, yeah, Sonny Bunny. She still says that. Shannon was Shani Wanny Poo Poo Panty. I never heard that one.

And I don't know why. And now it's changed. That's me. Yeah, she... Keety Whitty. She was shitting herself back in the day. Now it's Keety Whitty Pissy Panty. I think this nickname is fitting, though,

because of the story that you told us about when she was at your house. Wait. Who pooped? Oh, yeah. That's right. Can you just tell that story? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That is it. Man, was she ever pissed? That's about as pissed as I've ever seen her in real life. Like, is she pooped? Yeah. So we... She was a human being? I cannot believe I just shit.

So she'll... My apartment is... It's a one bedroom apartment. So she'll try to actually... Like, I don't know. Like, I won't bring it up to her. Like, I know you just went in there and dropped a dude, so I can hear you spraying the thing,

but I won't blow up her scene. That's me. We're at my parents' house, and my sister's boyfriend... I mean, God bless him. He didn't know. It could have been any one of us. The whole house was full.

He comes down the hallway, and the way the living room is set up is you come down a hallway, like it's a red carpet, and everybody's sitting nice right in there, and he's standing kind of addressing everyone, and he's going... Oh!

Who pooped? Who pooped? And it's silent. Everybody in the room is there. We're all... And any one of us would have claimed, you know, of course... Hey, that was me, right?

Silent. No one's saying anything, and then finally... You know what, Joe? It was me. His name's Joe, too. It was me, and you're really rude. You're really rude for doing that, and his face, all the poor kid.

He was so embarrassed. Oh, man. Blued up on her, and she... Oh, God. She was mad? She was livid. And then livid. That's my favorite.

Like, not even like a jokey, like, you know, that's kind of a dick move, bro. Livid. She was pissed, like yelling at the poor kid, and he was so embarrassed. Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Can you tell Shannon I'm sorry? You're telling me I'm like,

Dude, didn't I do it? Yeah, no, man. She took a shithole carrot. Yeah, it's all right. Oh! Who pooped? Yeah. And he's a big...

He's a big guy. So he came out there, and he's like, Oh, who was that? Who pooped? Every time I farted from the ages of 7 to 17, I blamed on Shannon. Every single one. She told me the...

I blamed it on grandma. It was you. The SFP stood for... Oh, yeah, Shannon Farts and Bublin. Yeah. I think I came up with that one. She hates it. Yeah, she hates it.

But you went to see Francis Brepp, so you had to wear a polo that said SFP, and somebody asked what it meant. It said Shannon Farts and Bublin. She was... She didn't like that either. Dude, that was about as mad as it ever saw her. What?

Because it was an opportunity for her to, like, kind of jokingly play a mom. She was pissed. But it's such a funny thing that you want to point out when your girlfriend or whatever takes a shit. It's just... Oh, yeah. But I didn't just...

See, that's the thing, though. I didn't do it. It was indirect. But why? Because I got out of it. Like, I wouldn't total... Why would you kick yourself up? You could have just held that.

No? Yeah. Oh, man. She could have blamed... She literally could have just said nothing, and no one would have suspected her. No, he was making a scene. He was making a scene.

He was. That's so funny. Like, interrogating? Did you poop? There was like six people there and he was like, Oh! We're not leaving until I find out who took a shit. Who blew it up?

He wouldn't stop. That's the only reason... Because she tried to let it pass. Like, maybe it was the... Maybe this will blow by. But no, he wasn't letting it go. I was... Dude, I was dying.

Dude, I would have been laughing his story. Oh, man. It was hilarious. Laughing his story? Yeah, I was the only one laughing. Because everybody else was kind of like, Oh my God, the poor girl is so embarrassed. One time we were all sitting in the living room,

and Sammy gets up to go to the bathroom, and she's like running up the stairs, and she's like, You have to shit? You have to shit? If you shit, don't flush. I want to see it. She's never shit in my presence.

I don't think she's ever shit. How do you do that? She actually has like a problem. Like, she has to take laxatives and shit. And all that shit. Well, then that's why it's hence the running. Hence the running. No. Well, she says she's like,

I've never took a shit in my apartment. She's lying. Or at the house. Where does she shit? She just holds me. Outdoors. I don't. Yeah, right when she got a fucking designated hole in the ground?

Outdoors. The outhouse with the fucking door? She's going to kill me for that. I can't. I'm thinking now that she's actually going to see this. No, I told her we were going to tell a police story. That's the fucking, that's one of the funnier. Yeah, she said, oh my God, no stopping.

We're like, yeah, okay. That is one of the funnier ones. I forgot about that. Thank you for bringing it up. Who pooped? Who pooped? Oh, I got to tell him that later when I leave. It was hilarious.

He was so embarrassed too. Shannon always says also that Keith is your favorite. Do I have to explain after that? So Vin, Keith, you know, they spend a lot of time together. We don't. A lot of one on one time. They spend more time together than, like, say he does with me or with Joey.

And so one of the things that they do is they go to the movies all the time. We do. We mandate quite a bit. But another thing that they do is that they sit in the living room together. And when somebody else farts, Keith has a gift. And he immediately. It's one of my few talents. This is a true gift.

He can immediately describe the fart. But perfectly. With like a real world object or scenario. So, for instance, I could be sitting in the living room and I could fart. And Keith would be like, you know what that sounds like? That's the line every time, too. You know what that sounds like? Yeah, you know what that sounds like.

As soon as Keith says, you know what that sounds like, he just starts dying. I'm so happy to hear whatever he says. Because I'm really, like, good at it. It's not like just one thing. It's like I'll name something in a situation. It's incredible. Some of them are. And he'll be like, you know what that sounds like?

You know when, like, I have three good ones that I think to you. We did a top three the other day. It's they get a sound and then you stop it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you're like, yeah. My favorite ever was when you're, I was sitting like adjacent from you and you farted. And it sounded like, you know when you shuffle cards?

But like not the initial shuffle, not the initial like, but when you, but when you like get it together and like one hand and it goes all together. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? That's exactly what it sounded like. My favorite, no, my favorite one was when he's like, you know what that sounds like? He's like, like you whispered into a trumpet. That was the one where it sounded like you went,

we, the three of us, the three of us laughed at that probably at least 45 minutes. No, we whispered into the, oh, what about that? That sounds like a pig drowning. That was like, that was the other day. And then I had another one. What the hell was it? Oh God. It sounds like a, it sounds like a dirt bike, but from really far away.

Oh my God. That's exactly, the shuffling to, to bring two stories together. The shuffling of the deck one, which is where really this all started was when D9 came over for like the first time, as soon as she walked out that door, I just let loose. But yo, he was forcing him out, like I was afraid. And he just took, he just, oh man. Because I was like, how the hell is there that much air in there? Yeah, dude, when that door closed.

That was like, what the fuck is that? I wasn't going to be like you and just blast her away like initiator. Yeah, but he was like. I was going to wait and it was, it was pent up. I think I was sick and I didn't. It was from the Ranger game, the night before when I ate like a savage, remember that? And I was holding it in for core D9. Yo, but Forts usually have like one sound like, like one tune.

His went into like eight different octaves. Like, wow it's like, what? This is ridiculous. That was one of the better, oh man, that, that whole afternoon was out of control. You want, you had like seven that day. I know I'm getting the cramp right here. He had so many lined up. Every one that I had, he had an answer for.

And it's different every time. That's what I miss most about living at home. Is just having Keith describe Forts. That's it? Yep, that's the only thing. That's all I got. You go, that's all we remember it. Whenever I hear that, you know what that sounds like.

Yeah, right? Great, Keith. Describe Forts, pretty fucking love. Hell of a fart describer. There you go. The best ever, the best ever. Like a dirt bike in the distance. From really far away.

Dude, but he said whispered into a trumpet. I fucking lost my mind. It did though. It was like a. You've never had a bad one. It's almost as if they just get better. There's not one time where he describes it. We go, yeah, we're like, that one sucked.

Never, they're all. And they're instant. I don't even know what you think. Within seconds. Within seconds. You know what that sounds like? Oh, it's good because you know, he doesn't waste him.

Whenever I hear like all fart and I won't get up, I won't get it. That sounds like, but when I hear that, you know what that sounds like? I know some shit's about to come down. Yeah. One time he goes, just sounds like your ass just clapped. No, you ever get those?

Yeah, it's like little. He says, this is, I didn't hear this one, but one of my favorites is like, hey, Joe, remember that time when you farted, it didn't sound like someone's slowly knocking? Yeah. It was like the most random fart, like someone, like you had a delivery and the guy just went,

it was like, like, wasn't in like unison with anything. It was just so random farting. I was trying my hardest not to bring this up because we've gone off the rails and we're back talking about like shit. I got one more fart though. What else? I got one more fart though.

No, but this is a fart. Okay. Your old laptop. This is exactly what I'm bringing up. Yeah. I don't know what was wrong with me, but I was like, oh, dude, because this is the reason I'm discussing my work.

I was like, dude, I got a farts open and like set up the camera. Let's record it, right? Yeah, we recorded it. So I farted. On my laptop. I farted. It was a 15 second fart.

It was literally, it was honestly, no, honestly, it was probably like eight though, like eight seconds. That's solid. I really inflated that number though. Can you do this sound? It was like, but it was silent. It was like,

so it started silent. Then it turned into a fart. Then it turned into a cold drink. It was like, do it. It was like, dude, it sounded like at the end, he was cooking bacon.

Like, you know, you're cooking bacon and it's fucking spitting. Like that's exactly, and I think it was on the record. I'm like, Joe, it was your ass fucking bubbling. Dude, it literally sat at the end of it. It sounded like you put a straw on a glass of water

and started blowing. But it was like, oh, Jesus Christ. What is wrong with you people? What do you mean you people? You're, you're, what? Oh, God. We're all too old.

What do you mean you people? You got to look at it from my part of you. I've been on two podcasts and all we talked about is shitting. And he's crying. I apologize. Farting is not shitting. That's different.

It leads to shit. But we're going to wrap this up. Three cars, sir. Anyway, Keith, where can they find you? You don't want to find me. But what is it? Do you want your farts described send the voice notes to?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, please do that. Record your farts. Send them. A dollar, a dollar read. Yeah, it's like tarot cards. Yo, we just paid on a figure.

Keith's farts shot. Oh, no. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Keith's Anagato. And my YouTube channel, which is a gaming channel, is YouTube slash Keith's Anagato. Pretty straightforward. Do you guys want to plug anything?

You got anything? I want to plug Keith's ass. Yeah, at this point. For my beehull. All right. We're going to be playing, I think, a form of Pictionary on the extra yard. Hey.

If you're not signed up for full screen, go to fullscreen.com slash basement yard. And put in the promo code basement. You get a free month. And then it's $6,000 a month after that. Pretty good price. Oh, yeah. But that is all.

And we'll see you next time. And I suck at drawing, so watch this.