The Basement Yard - The End Of An Era

Episode Date: September 26, 2017

This is my last episode with Fullscreen so I decided to have the camera guys come on & just chat with us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard today. It's me and Frankie. We're sitting next to each other and shit We've been drinking for a while. I'll be honest with you. Oh, so cute What sit next to each other so cute see we're already not making sense I literally have chugged three beers in like 20 minutes. So I'm I'm yeah, Frankie's Frankie's Frank is Honestly Frank has been drinking on my eyes are going opposite ways. Yeah, I have no idea what's going on As you guys know this is being filmed by full-screen and there's like lights and shit and I can't see a thing right now I can't see anything and there's some solid fucking hot dudes behind the camera There is and like hot by the way when we did that thing where we were writing guys on like that last podcast

So where the fuck that was people really appreciated that they're like, oh, you know like they got so serious Like I love how straight guys can just really sit there and just like rate guys like What I really feel this way dude. I'm the biggest fan of hot dudes in America Yeah, seriously a solid hot dude cuz like you need it like I'm a firm believer of you You always need to find someone that's better than you are and I found everyone It's really not hard not hard than us so I just want to make sure I rank where these fucking dudes fall Yeah, it was yeah, it's just it's very genuine. You know what I mean and So the reason why we've been drinking so much beforehand is because

Today is the last episode that we're doing with full-screen. This is the end of season one It's gonna be the only season exclusive Like you know what I mean like Firefly if you don't know what Firefly is. What is that? It's it's a cult classic You're gonna be written in the record books along with people like Joss Whedon who directed the Avengers who the fuck What are you talking about see people the real people know okay real people know but hey cheers to an incredible season How about that brother? Oh, yeah cheers so we decided like

It was so funny because usually everyone comes here at like 5 30 and then we start setting up and then we film At 6 30, but at like 4 o'clock. We're like, you know, let's go to the supermarket buy a bunch of beer Let's get as drunk as possible and when he said that my eyes lit up like the fourth the fucking July I mean fucking July July, you know, and I was like You do not understand. We were walking back and he's like they're gonna be here in like 15 minutes I was like, do you don't understand how drunk I can get in 15 minutes. It's a gift and let me tell you If there's one thing I'm good at in this life It's being drunk trust me. It's the only thing he's good at literally trust me

Trust me. Okay, send it also Since this is the last episode we decided that there's no better guests to have on the last episode then Here's the fourth wall. We're pulling back. Oh, yeah, we're gonna have everyone who works on this show Three people. I don't know why I made it seem like there's everyone just a fucking Joni Cindy Brian There's three people Joni and Cindy. Yeah, he's Pete. Oh, Pete. Yeah, look at Pete's just taking control First of all, you guys take it too long. We're introducing Pete first Pete get in here with your butt plug mic Pete's in here He's got a plug a mic in

He's got a yeah, he's gonna plug it into his ass. Is it just good? That's exactly where he's so Pete funny thing about Pete didn't even like remember I thought your name was Brian for like the first six weeks. I'll be honest. It's not even close. It's like I know I know it's a little it's it's a little off, but You were also I feel like in the beginning was we're a little quiet And I was like, okay, okay, let's take that try and talk a lot blonde the blonde James when you grow up a Browns fan And when you grow up a Cleveland Indians fan, which now they're doing well 21 straight wins Hello, just now have you remember the 90s or you yeah, I was there in the 90s chipper

Was a brave. Yeah, wow different team native of theme so Yeah, the whole you know like Native American Super insensitive. We'll get that on another episode next millennium, but Yeah, I mean when you grow up a fan of a team that has never won a world series and then you're gonna be quiet Yeah, I would be quiet. I guess that's how have you been to a Browns? Listen, you are no, I want to go to a Browns game You're wrong. I like it. I would I'm a big brown I'm a big Browns fan this year pointing me out because you're wearing pineapples on your shirt

You look fucking ridiculous super, but I just want everyone to know that if you're not watching this on full screen Frankie's wearing a shirt that it's a fucking Like a what what color is that indigo indigo? This is a baby blue. Oh, it's a it's a sky. It's a dark baby blue shirt with pineapples all over it First of all pineapples are like the ultimate sign of friendship. So you're welcome. That's why I did you just made that Look go to Alex and Ani. That's not a thing No Friends of mine really good friends of mine in college were like best friends and they were like where the pineapple

There were girls, okay, they're fucking assholes and I don't care about the rest of this Anyway, the next person coming on. Oh, we have Frankie's favorite Frankie's favorite listen cameraman listen I I would not give up my family for much But if there's one person I could give up my family for it's the silver Fox mr. Romel himself Oh He's only he's knocking everything off. It's it's just skin. You know what it is. He's hot and bothered. That's what they would you be if you Look like that Frankie's a big Romel fan

He's a big Romel fan. By the way this podcast buckle up Oh, yeah, because we've been drinking there's gonna be nine voices on it not nine, but enough definitely enough I just want to say for the record that there's nobody operating the cameras There's no one operating good. We decided like fuck that. We've gone rogue. We wrote that's now. They're all automated We've gone rogue. Who knows if they're even set up properly. Oh, there might be like, you know, we're and he won't He wants to know but he was like reach for it dirty. Yeah, and then you ask for a beer Okay, let's introduce the last one, okay man of

Mr. Yeah, the guy in the closet Sometimes you hear his voice Sometimes you don't finally finally coming out the closet. It's Kyle Boom come out the closet Come come on out. All right. He's got a dirt wolf in his hand. He's fucking ready for this He literally was born with his cock in his hand. He's got an empty dirt wolf after that intro I got an empty dirt wolf. Oh my god, so we blessed this man with another dirt wolf Wow This is

Unbelievable and he's gonna keep the headphones on because he's dedicated to the job. I feel him I feel him pass that pass that down to Kyle. No, no dirt wolf first. Oh a second dirty Dirties, you know what? I'm gonna claim my dirt wolf before. Yeah, me too before it gets lost in the shuffle You know what I mean? We got beers. You guys been talking about this the past like three weeks I think and it's one of the greatest beers I've ever had really really You know, it's good. It hits your lips. Dude. Here's the thing Yeah, so I'm not even gonna like sugarcoat it and I probably shouldn't be saying this I had my agent reach out to their brewing company because I'm like, you know, what's good

like my All about Asian oh Super how do you rate him? Who's the hottest Asian you know two hottest Asians we go male obviously easy Jackie Chan Dude Jackie Chan is such a hot dude. Yeah comments What dude, all right, what are they? I'm talking 90s Jackie Chan a rubble in the Bronx Jackie Chan He's Jackie Chan, you know, he got plastic surgery to look more American. You got his eyes Mary's see what the fuck is wrong?

No, no, I like Asian Jackie Chan. I don't like American Jackie Chinese like ready to fuck Jackie Chan Yeah, yeah, all right. Who would you put above him? Does a Keanu Reeves count? Yeah. Yes. He does. Is he Asian? I hope so. He knows kung fu He's like one of the worst acts that in speed. He's like we have to drive 55 miles an hour The one with the surfers point break point break I am an FBI agent It's so bad Dude Asian woman, so let's get down to it when I when I shit and wipe my ass

It's it's a nightmare. Let me just tell you that listen. I do the lean No one like listen to this podcast is the first one you're turning into you're like what the fuck did I kid just say? Usually on this show I would say about 90% of my podcast somehow Just end up we're talking about shitting or wiping your ass or assholes in general I Think it's like a jack-in-off. It's like shit and shitting jack-in-off untapped I don't know why I like I don't like I don't know. I think it's just like an immaturity thing I'm not that mature people think I'm like an adult, but I don't feel like it

Yeah, you you you are not no no not at all I've been counting my beers you just say you're a leaner by the way I lean Oh, I got how do you know when you're done? Oh, what do you wipe it with that fucking paper on your head? Why do you keep saying? Yeah, I'm a big a big Kyle fan. I'll be honest with you. How can you not do are you kidding me? I know I'm not my biggest man. I love it. Wait, so you're a leaner. What are you doing? Are you standing up? You're standing you stand up You actually stand up read me like a book man. You you don't stand up to wipe your brass

You like lift up do you go in between your legs? Solid like you like you stand up like what am I gonna soldier like There's no shit left. I'm done. Check in your hand. Exactly. Romeo. I'm a leaner, but I'm a leaner But a lean and mean squatty potty man's been changing my life same dude. I need that Squatty pot like I only regret now. He's like not like forking over the extra 20 bucks and getting like the one Me like bamboo one. Yeah, dude. I didn't I got the regular one. They have a teak. Yeah, buck in Squatty is like 80 bucks or like 60 bucks 80 bucks. Well worth it. I've spent my money on worse things trust me I was this close to buying a Shrek dildo the other day that I would never use but just have it was a half

You know imagine close your eyes Imagine what Shrek's dick would look like Here's my thing I forgot who pointed it out to me that was like oh look It's a Shrek dildo or something someone like Was it someone texted us in a group chat? I think it was Dylan oh might have been because he's he's the only other person like the only person that I know Was it advertised as like a Shrek dildo don't worry if green is not your color. There's red. Don't get there's red and there's black

Because who doesn't love that? That's one of the best it was like It was the most uncircumcised like normal uncircumcised six are like whatever this was so Uncircumcised it was a lot of action. Come on. Yeah, you know, there's a lot of skin Yeah, are you guys gonna are you gonna circumcise your kids or what do you think hundred percent? Yes, I don't want my kids to grow up with the ugliest dick imaginable Are you kidding me? Here's my way. Are you guys circumcised? Yeah, we're getting personal. Yeah, so pretend like you haven't fucked every woman in the planet. Oh, I'm circumcised

I got cut my cock negative over here. Oh for Mel's not dude. I'm from Venezuela guys, okay? I found his flaw What I've heard is like when you don't circumcise that's like a bunch of nerve endings that you are leaving Yeah, you're uncircumcised. Sex feels better for like a bunch of yeah The difference between a million and a million and one is fucking huge. I'm sure it's more than one. Yeah, your parents robbed you Yeah You guys your parents are Many things. Yeah, there are a bunch of people out there who are uncircumcised who are like leading a political charge to like stop

Circumcision they're called yeah intactivists. They have their force can intact. That's what they're known. It's a whole thing It's a big thing. It's weird Sign me up. I couldn't hate a person more honestly. It's just really not yet. Not yet No, no, no something might as well be a dick if anything. Here's the thing It's just like an uncircumcised dick when it's just hanging out Yeah, and not like in like let's go mode just looks like a baby bird But that's just like a weird. That's what dicks are like. That's what you're uncircumcised. No, I I'm circumcised and I'm glad This though, you know, I know like when you think you stand for the skin. Yeah

I Pete's been at the rallies, you know, he's on the front line battling every day. You're also a Browns fan Well, that makes sense. He's a Browns fan and he goes to rallies with his hood up not, you know, symbolizing Trayvon Martin or KKK pick yourself. Oh shit. Jesus Christ way too real How many dirt walls have you had? It's my it's my third. No, I had I got hoodwinked by the The hop devil hop devil, which is also a good victory beer Victory is literally baton a thousand right now baton a thousand by the way So before we go any further here, we we do have a gift for Kyle Kyle

Like if you if you watch The the basement yard on full screen, then you watch the extra yard just it comes up right after that So you can't really fucking ignore it. You know the extra 15 minutes Fucking stop, yeah, let's be honest. Let's be on arguably Episode and then 15 more minutes of This fucking face Definitely your face not like like there's a lot of content out there. I hate the word content There's a there's a lot of videos out there with my face there

And like if you watch all those and you're like, I haven't had enough you disgust me I'm just be straight up honest. I think you have a face that a female audience would love. Yeah, right? Hold on so I just want to give a I just want to wait. Hold on. Yeah, we got we got Kyle a gift, right? Kyle is huge He's like the host of the extra yard, which is the extra 15 minutes segment that we usually do That's exclusive. That's all I tell tinder chicks, but you know, whatever. Yeah, you know an official title hilarious You're still on tinder pretty listen Yeah, so we got you a little something

Please be delicate with it when you tilt it out Make sure you have your hand at the bottom because if it falls out it will break right it'll break Please open it in front of the cameras. You want over this now? Yeah Make sure everyone sees it. Okay, but yeah, just you know, we don't know we don't look don't look don't look Just put your hand up with your hand over the top. There you go. There you go. Just slide it out I just show everyone it's a little It's a it's a it's gotta be a twist off. Yeah, it's smear not smear not first of all original lemon flavor You've been ice. You know what the rule is with twist off. It says on the thing. Don't use your fucking bottle opener

Oh, just If you would open that with your eye, I would I would a jerk off. I seriously would have missed my pants if you open I love Joe. Thank you guys so much for this. Here you go. Do it. Do it. He didn't do the knee thing Watching we put a smear off ice into a tube So that he's been iced he has to chug it Those are the rules and now he's chugging it and he's almost done and the And the rule is when you get ice you need to do it on one knee too, so he got down on it Let's fucking go. This is the best episode. I think I've Jesus. I've never experienced happiness like I have right now

Yeah, I've never been never I've never been this happy ever. Yeah, it's been a sad life. Oh, but I feel 17 again This is great. Oh, yeah, so we're actually missing one person that you wanted to be here. Am I not right who oh Listen, there's a guy Who works at full screen, right? His name is Mike Rucker and Mike I know you're watching this because you have to watch it before it goes out to make sure that we don't say some Racist shit or something like that. You got to cut it out and be like we can't post this This isn't gonna be good. So I know you're watching this

Mike What a piece of shit that guy, huh? Jesus. Wow. He told me he's like y'all gonna fly by the way. What a good What do you guys what do you guys know about Mike? He's a great guy What a piece of garbage this guy Mike is so Mike told me he's like y'all I'm gonna fly out cuz so here's the thing, right? Full screen love him to death. This was an awesome opportunity Definitely anyone who has the subscription

I feel like you should stay and just watch they have a bunch of cool content Quality Quanta So Mike hits me up and he like is trying to tell me that like There's not gonna be a second season of basement yard, right? And he's just like I can tell that he's just being like dude You know, I'm sorry like whatever and I'm like it's cool, dude. You know, I mean it's business. It's not a big deal Like I don't take it personally. I'm totally like super excited to even have been considered for it or whatever And he's just like I'm sorry like whatever and she's just a really nice guy and then he tells us right now

He tells us he's like it's the last episode. I'm gonna try and fly out because they're in LA He's like I'm gonna try to fly out. I'm gonna be there for the last episode and I was like, okay, and then like the next day He hits the group chat with me Ramel and Kyle and he goes Listen, I can't make it because I was in a bicycle accident I'll just excuse in the back. I've used that thousand times bicycle app I broke this elbow like 15 times in college to get out of papers. Listen, what is it? It didn't happen. What is a bicycle? Accident I mean people die on those listen if the people in the area deserve on the playground Listen the people in Manhattan who are on the city bikes. Don't give a shit. Yeah, they're just in the

They're on the you ever you ever walk over the bridge one of the bridges to get to Brooklyn from Manhattan If you get the bike you don't go in your lane. It's like watch out motherfucker They're crazy. They yelled at me. They yelled at my friends. We're trying just to chill because you shouldn't have been in the way I wasn't in the way. I was like maybe towing the line spin facts right now dude that has happened Here's a fact brown suck It's a bit You know what's funny is getting in a bike accident is one of the worst excuses. I heard in a while. Oh, it was bad I was like all the old bike accident. Yeah, excuse a

That's literally like saying that you woke up and you were like, oh, I woke up and I fucking shit my small intestine out Just it's so kind of yeah, you shit your small intestine prolapse anus. No, no joke. Yeah What the fuck did you just say that's so that'd be large though. Wait, what'd you say prolapse anus? It's when you prolapse. Yeah Scientists out. I'm trying to educate the female audience. Wait, you're so your large intestine is low like the pink sock. Yeah Yeah, it's exactly. It's like a pink sock. You can shit out your lower intestine. You can yeah. Yeah, kind of like I like once a week every other week every other week My large intestine starts in the water. If anyone here has experienced with the pink sock, it's wrong now. Definitely. Yeah

He's seen this week too. He's seen a sock or two. He's seen a sock or four. Yeah, you know what I mean? Or four That's that's a bad excuse. You know what's funny? Joe Joe over here hates to admit it But when we were younger, he used to give the best excuses for why he couldn't hang out and he'll deny it until the day You really well these these are literally made up. No, they're not you can ask any one of our friends They're made of excuses or they're literally made up. He used to hit us up. Oh, I can't my dad said I need to brush my dog's teeth Okay, that's a legitimate excuse. Yeah, I swear. I swear. I'll let you know right now, right growing up I just got my dog Charlie. So this is a different story

But just but like when I was growing up I had my dog chase I have never brushed its teeth and I have walked chase maybe four times my entire life Great dog move on listen. I'm telling you Whatever you have done in reality Differs from what he told us in his experience. What's another good one? Yeah, he's he told us I he told us he he was running home and he couldn't come back out because on the run home. He pooped his pants We all know Excuse

To the to like the lie, so you're like, yeah, like I shit myself. I can't come out He thought it out so clearly like oh, I was running home I put my pants and I kicked it. Yeah, like one of those either. I think okay Yeah, what I've people listen people who are watching this that are like avid fans know that that story's Because I've talked about this on numerous occasions like I had to I was playing a basketball game It was 19 to 20 Time I got one by one. I had to shit Davino His house is across the street from the park. Oh, I heard wouldn't let me shit in this house

I do remember I wasn't blown away by that. So I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I should a remel's like four times. I would shit. You're welcome He's got the squatting potty. So it's all great. I tried it. I've tried it and no difference. Yeah, bullshit I'm gonna do it like a few times for like your whole not breaking it. Whoa. This is like Prozac You gotta take it a few times. Yeah, I'm gonna ask you guys something if you can rate the people that have been on here Who would you put it number one and two and three? Can it not an order not an order? What top three? And don't fuck with me all right

As guess the episode's been better since I've been here Frank is he's a very insecure person. I do you have no idea how bad I need this Dude you're a shoe in man. Yeah, Frank is a shoe in I'm literally gonna Honestly, your shirts Keith and Davino, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was it was Davino for a while. So he would get the drunkest and We did right the first episode we did it was like this whole big production It wasn't like no, we didn't know what we were doing. We're like in a rhythm We're just kind of like I didn't know these dudes at all

It was the first day they showed up and there was a way more people here than necessary There was two other I feel like they were just PAs. It was just sitting down looking at sheets of paper I didn't know what they were doing and then Mike Rucker was here that piece of shit Right and then there was just like you three and then there was other people and I was just like I don't know what any of this is what what's going on here and The first episode I remember I was like, you know, you should be on it and like it would be fun whatever I need a guest so he comes on and

When he shows up he sees all these people He sees all you guys and I'm like I'm trying to like cuz I'm not nervous obviously. I'm just like, yeah, fuck it. We're just fucking around whatever So I tell him like yo, let's just start drinking fuck it You know what I mean like let's just start drinking so I had some like double IPA So he's drinking them as if they're normal beers with their higher in percentage or whatever So he gets really drunk and we started the episode and it was a fucking shit show We like we really don't edit these very much. We edit the shows when he's on

It's I got a pretty light day on Thursdays when the video is on Bro like six or seven. Yeah In the office Most of my conversations with Davino, he'll say something and immediately apologize Yeah, I mean the kid says, you know, he's a free form of Intellect and stuff, but I know I put Davino key we haven't a Keith on in a while But you know Frankie when you came in The one episode where I was kind of like running shit when we did the pizza stuff and I was like, this is I was like

I got this game. I don't know if anyone's gonna be down, but the Frank was like fuck. Yeah Let's do the pizza blindfolded Wait until extra Do that Extra Joe, I can't wait. No, I'm super fucking pumped It's honestly and and I spoke to Joey about this and I want to thank you guys, too Since I've been on here for the last few episodes. It's fucking literally been a dream come true him and I have been Talking shit and making people making excuse me making ourselves last

Literally 20 years people don't believe me when I say this but literally Every single time that I call Frankie and he picks up hello and I go hi, this is Joe Immediately he'll go into a character. I should hi Joe. We're selling boba It would just be this whole thing for at least 15 minutes like literally 15 minutes And like it's the same thing if he calls me, you know what I mean? Like we just go into this thing We sell them up, but I do I want to thank him obviously for giving me this opportunity to sit here and be fun with him And then you guys you guys a lot of people don't realize the shit you do behind the scenes It's a lot. There's a lot that goes behind and I know Kyle a jokingly shaking his head, but

jokingly jokingly You know the lighting the the setting up here. I can tell you this fucking studio was a disaster when they got here It's a lot and just allowing you know having you guys kind of allow me to sit here and make me look a lot funnier than I am It's it's very much so appreciated Before we move on let's get to the sponsors here. The first one we have is MVMT watches The company started by two broke college kids that wanted to wear stylish watches But couldn't afford them so they started their own company their own watch company They start at just $95 at a department store. You're looking at 400 to 500 bucks. So this is a fucking steal

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universe The Santa gato verse. I feel we're part of it now and I can definitely are Can understand who you are a little better sure and these might be based off of previous conversations. We've had yeah Off-camera or these might not know the off-camera ones are off-camera You know they're really getting fucking Barbara Walters on this shit listen But I do want to know What you guys think about these questions I have four questions I'm gonna ask and I want you all to answer you can give a brief explanation behind your answer

Right, do you want to get into conversation about it? Yeah, let us know and listen. We're gonna start off slow I know super slow gonna start off slow super slow with so we're gonna start off slow and I want to know Not one that we have spoken about But which cartoon do you want to just? Got I mean like annihilate that we haven't talked about that we haven't talked about so I mean we could talk about I mean we talked about a lot Yeah, we did we did fair enough we talked about Ariel which by the way I uploaded a video to big hit big

Yeah, extra Joe and a lot of people were kind of like what's going on? Yeah, no idea You know what it is, you know, I'm kind of disgusted by that by the way I'm super you've never had a conversation about Okay, they're okay with you guys rating guys are straight males, but not fucking cartoons What's the next turtle we got to get over as a culture? Each other but not Ariel like what's going on? I want to romel in Venezuela. What cartoons are you like super about? Oh? Cartoon what I about well any a cartoon right now The bone no, well, you know the weird thing is though I did

I'm gonna date myself here a little bit But like no I used to watch this like Japanese cartoon called massager right and it was like it was like basically a Voltron like a Voltron ripoff. It was Japanese Okay, there was a female character, and she would shoot fucking missiles out of her tits It's not like one of those that got fucked by your ass. It's very cool. What's she? That was before the fucking technical porn hentai before before hentai Before it doesn't shooting missiles out of your tits as a power move. I'm in yeah, I wouldn't do I would like Like I'm like a girl ship, but I mean hi. Yeah

Next I mean I Don't watch cartoons anymore. I mean South Park Rick and Morty really only too like animated Morty dude You on Wendy or Carmen's mom I guess but if I go back to kind of throw back, you know back in the day. I Wasn't a Dragon Ball Z for a little bit Specifically I think maybe there was someone back then I don't it's been a while really my big like Ariel for sure red hair

Let's do it, you know Like I knew we need to make out Video games count so hard super hard. I can't tell you how many times like I was in Grand Theft Auto and just The horniest You're actually the guy who like Yeah, like yeah, but I'm gonna pay her for size in the game go to the strip clubs and spend 30 grand and then kill a Fucking hobo on the street

Yeah, all right, Kyle. All right, you know who really needs some D is Misty from Pokemon Ponytail hanging with two dudes who are clearly not into yes and Brock they got their own Yeah, I Think Brock was like one of those like I don't know That's not part of the plan like misty is looking for some she got the side play You know, she's a freak. She's carrying the egg He's got a misty poster

Pokemon like well missy doesn't have squirtle, but she's got the egg though She's ready to I want a baby right now trying to symbolize symbolization squirtle in heavy shit Yeah, I'm with this ground by the side ponytail shit. Yeah, don't worry about it I'm afraid to ask the next question. Yeah. Yeah, she's okay. So hey, she's the red-haired freaky as fuck Okay, all right. All right. No two dudes not fucking misty. Yeah. Yeah, all right. I have another question for you guys Not as personal as the first one Because was the first one actually having cartoon characters is personal, but you know, we've been rating hot dudes

We want to know we're back. I'm gonna give you a hot dude to rate What is the second? Okay, and I want to walk. I want you to walk me through the rating you give them and why yeah, I Want you to know you like to walk real quick people big fans of the straight dude's rating dudes super They're they love it. They're like, I'm so glad that you're comfortable enough to rate guy. I'm like, I mean it I mean it. No one loves hot dudes more than I do. I believe I really love a hot dude That's a thing people don't know about Frankie, but that's like a real thing like he like no one like he loves hot dudes Like you know, what's there? You can either love yourself, which kind of but other hot dudes It's there. Yeah, like me. I don't like hyper masculine guys

They can't just like oh, no, I'm looking yeah, like dude just admit your gay moments Like there's a guy that goes to our gym. We're there every day at the same time I'm with the other old guy that works out. No, no, no, not him. I know who that is There's a guy who works that works out there just a sexy guy and I swear to God when I get to the gym He's there. I'm like Yeah, I'm like Shit together, you're like, okay, that's you know, I know So I'm gonna give you guys a hot dude that I want you to rank

Someone we didn't speak about that. I want to know what you guys think up. Okay. Okay. Yeah, you're setting this up, but okay No, yeah, we go Paul Rudd, you don't even have to look at the list. You're like, you know, I've been turned on from him since hour one Well, I think traditionally he's not like a hot dude. Do you guys tell me? You know, I'm explaining my rating before I give it. I mean traditionally it's like top chef, okay I'm not gonna tell you the rating. I'm gonna take your dish first Gordon Ramsay fan Traditionally not a hot dude, but funny, you know

Kind of like like like Seth Rogen like when you read the last episode or whatever, but hotter way hotter Yeah, you have like a night like a re like a twinkle to his eyes, right? Like you fucking get you with that twinkle, right? Twinkle. Yeah, I haven't aged in 20 years 7.5. So are we going? This pull Rudd or are we going Ant-Man? Oh, we're not the same person. Yes, dude doesn't age He doesn't doesn't age. It's quiet. I need to hear Pete. I'm sleeping on this one. I Yeah, I Mean he's a Russian judge. He's the Russian judge. No, he's a good-looking dude, you know Haven't been that big of a fan of the movie. I'm just not

But he was in a Tim and Eric sketch not too long ago, so that like boom Takes him up Yeah, but I don't even know what you're referring to very much so an adult swim comedy type of guy. Yeah, yeah Sketch call where he dances. Yeah taint taint. Yeah You should watch it Shut up. I mean 7-5 is not a bad rating. He's good-looking. Yeah I'm gonna go 7-2 7-2 before you move on who is your 10?

Yeah, my 10. Yeah, you're everyone has a 10 of hot dude. Yeah, just like just just a fucking just a just a fucking god You know, I mean literally you can piss on a fire and they wouldn't go out. Yeah, what does that mean? I don't think that's like an expression. Sorry. You guys gonna hate me for mine, but don't Your 10's gonna make me throw up. Your 10's gonna be like it's just a weird So I need a guy This is not your turn. Okay, you go. I don't I don't I I'm not like opposed to like fucking rating guys and saying but I don't have my 10 like readily that's fine That's fine. That's so fine. Is it okay?

Just like just we hot dude first house in your head boom just the like stereotypical thing is Brad Pitt Like that's your breath hit. Yeah, but I'm like that's that is a very good bar to set for the 10 glorious bastard Snapshot fight club glorious bastard. Yeah, what is bastard with them? like an older man Yeah, and just hating Nazis. Yeah killing that who doesn't hate that must go along me. Okay, we're Dude, if you're a Nazi you suck Paul run what do you give them so Paul run see? I've had this conversation a lot

With my associates not about all right, but the rating system in general I believe people are too generous with numbers Oh, yeah, I feel there's a lot more threes and fours than people like to admit. You're a Joey. You're a Joey Listen, I don't run. It's a great looking guy. If you think someone no I'm just saying this is my basis for it if you think someone's a good-looking guy everything Just without any getting any other factors. He starts at his five and then the extra stuff kind of like gives it going But if someone's like no five average He's a he's slightly above average. He's I'm not gonna call. I'm not telling him a five. I'm saying that's my base

It's like we can get a good five is not good five is average five is not good. Just let me explain With every rating system people just usually defer to like a six five to it like a nine usually yeah No one really taps like the one twos and threes. What's the really ugly? Like but like really ugly you'll put them on a one like that there's no like great So I'm gonna start off as a five. Let's look what he's doing. He's funny. He doesn't age well I gotta get Paul read up hardcore 6.9. He doesn't know he doesn't age well. He does age well So if you're going as low as one in two give me a one and a Solid celebrity if you think is a one or two. So let me show me he can get like so

Fucking a three or four points and you get to five. I think generous Fyrefighter a five is a fucking charity. Yeah, but shenny's a disaster Yeah, dude, but shenny's at least a five point nine. Oh, that is a disgust But shenny but if we're adding in like you explain your rating and you know, I love this actor and he has x y and z then That's right. It's cues. I know you're saying Yeah, but shenny just go Paul right good-looking guy he's aging well could probably if Tony Romo had a Romo had a better career He would have played him. Oh Looks like a desk on my dock. I'm a little bit for that, but he's funny. He's good. He's uh

Yeah, give me give me seven two dude seven seven two. I mean if he makes like an Oscar movie, I'll give him a seven two Not see him. Yeah, we see girls. See girls doing all that shit. Yeah, this is what this is for me I actually you know, it's an underrated Polaroid movie Roll models. Oh, love it. So good. I know his small cameo in forgetting Sarah Marshall. I've pissed. Oh, yeah, right now I'm gonna speak this into existence. I'm writing a script currently And it's like my dream for Judd Apatow Direct that shit To direct that shit

He directs all their shit like he directs like the producer Rudd and Seth Rogen or whatever he fucking does Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg will write it Draft it and yeah, and he directs exactly. That's what I want. You guys cast him You can be the awkward audio guy I'll be a younger Donald Trump I will literally be the worst person to work with because I literally had no like when I'm in meetings with people I'm like, yeah, we should cast people like yeah, I got someone who do it. It's like who is it? Like yeah, my friend is like whatever. Yeah, he's he good. Has he done things like no, he's a cashier. He works

He's he's fine, but he's really good. He's really good. Don't worry about it. He's a real guy He knows the experience if the script I have that I'm writing ever gets produced or just like whatever It just gets put into existence The people who are in it are not gonna be actors I'm telling you right now But it's gonna be good because I'm not gonna put people in it that are not good at like acting or whatever, but They're gonna be good They're gonna be good they're gonna be like what's her name from fucking Star Wars who was in like easy Ridley

She was in like random plays or whatever send it. All right. I got one last question for you guys Yeah, all right, and this They're both kind of personal. So do you want personal involving said I have one last question. They're both kind of Four questions to party Do you want something personal to you or personal into the existence? Whatever, I don't really know if that's Right I'm not afraid of your question

When everything's better for the podcast One word Only one word one just one and the word can't be something like oh, you know vascular or big That's like eight words in terms of I know what it's everything you can think of Application involved describe your dick in one word Romeo besides perfect Literally took the words out of my mouth I don't know describe my

Yeah, what about Joe's dick If I can describe my honestly, it's not one word it's just I'd teeny bop Literally I like I don't know because I can't compare it to many dicks I haven't seen that many dicks. I see porno dicks, and I'm like, okay, no one's dick looks like you see mine I have seen you Hard to stop those I don't know Hey wake up wake up a weird thing

but uh If I can describe my I think I just have like a run of the mill Just like you know what I mean just like one word you would that's like a phrase, but yeah, uh, just like dope You know just just sick Dope with the question mark. All right gentlemen. I'm looking for something a little better than dope Romel, you know what it is because I just think like like listen. Here's the here's the deal My dick isn't gonna make anyone go. Oh my god But it's not gonna make anyone go my oh my it's gonna be neither end of oh my god. Yeah

Or it's not gonna be It's not gonna warrant a reaction. That's the thing is gonna be okay. This is this is kind of like whatever You couldn't you couldn't pick your dick out from a crowd of dicks. Oh, no shot Oh, okay, it's just like it's just like, you know, it's just one of the this is one of the guys Literally the most average dick Here's the thing right? I don't think it's like an average dick because I you know I don't say I read up on average dick because I don't read up an average dick When you hear about average dicks, it's like I think the average size for the united states is like 5.5. Yeah, like

My dick's wider than 5.5 My dick's bigger than 5.5. Let's fair. You know what I mean, but so I think it's like slightly above average So I think that's like when people see it, they're like Okay This is kind of dope fair. That's why I went with dope. You know, it's not like all this is though I'm gonna tell people about this. Hey, but it's like this is kind of sick It's not a tomagotchi. You wouldn't put it in your pocket and walk around with it. Yeah, you wouldn't take care of it Yeah, you wouldn't want it for a while. No, no, no, it's like a fart bomb. You press it. It blows up. You leave it

Sure exact perfect romel one word your dick besides perfect go ahead. Listen. I'm like I believe it's a lot of words your dick is like like if you're a professional athlete like you're the best Oh, yeah, I'm the best boxer Yeah, whatever so my shit like x caliber Wow Like the hotel in vegas. That's the worst hotel on the strip I'll be honest with you, but it's still on the strip From the outside, it's batting a thousand. You get in there the worst

Exactly. That's what I meant. You had King Arthur jerking you off before it pulled out. Yeah, he pulled x caliber That's really good. I like it. Cheers to that, bro. Cheers man x caliber dude x caliber only be one It's also a super dope sounding word Excalibur, I want to name my kid that yeah, pretty sure I do and just name and just call max p Your cock besides your cock besides this one flaccid uh microphone. Yeah, what is that? Everyone's like more than one word. It'd be like mistake on the lake Actually, if it was two words, it'd be winning streak Is what it would be 21

Oh my god, I just hurt my neck. I can't wait till the any of the news in the a lcs. That's not gonna happen We talked about that a little better hope Yeah, it's a way to get One word. Yeah one word ready He's hard right now What a good answer super you get fucking pound points for that. Oh my god super points. It's so good Kyle good luck. Just just right right now. You know what I mean? Good luck following that. It's not about size. It's just I'm ready It's about the way you describe it's about adjective

At this point, you know ready to go. Are you kidding me ready? Yeah ready. It's so good I don't know for Kyle. I would just say like is the plate gate one word We're gonna talk about my 10 I was gonna say tom brady, but whatever that's we moved on. Yeah, listen tom brady I'm pretty sure that's the perfect cock Do you see no? cock Guys got a cock He does that bazillion. So it's like or he's just overcompensating like having that whole fucking complex

I hope he's got the worst dick ever right because he's winning everywhere else I need to find a flaw with him besides the fact that they got fucking Torched by the cheese. That was great. That was so weird. I loved every second. That was so satisfying every second Okay, it was a little bit. If you go about like porn body types like he probably had a huge dick like he's a Lanky go on He's wide. He has a wide back. He's not like he's not strong Like, you know, like those are porn. Did you see all of a sudden you're like, what the fuck this dude? You know, I heard if you have a low 40 time, he had a bigger dick. So

Yeah, all right. Sure. Go ahead. My fastest 40 was a 48. I got 49. My fastest 40 was like a 13 too. So I ran a 48. I ran a 487 when I was like 20 years old. Yeah I never so I ran a 48. That was my fastest. So which means probably got a small dick All right, that's average My name for mine But just like word

Fallen ready. I probably say flexible Oh, fuck does that mean that appeals to all to all parties out there. Yeah, what are you talking about flexible like What does that mean you could fuck yourself? I don't know what it means. I mean, you've got a curved dick I gotta Wait, does everyone have a curved to the dangle the current weight you guys? Okay, when you jerk off is it with the right hand or left hand? Yo, first because then it goes obviously right. Yeah, then it curves to the left because you're gripping it Listen, my dick

My dick is straight up straight. It's not it doesn't curve anywhere. True north True north My dick exactly. My dick is north by northwest. It looks like an exclamation point. I swear to god Did your dick curve mine's like a question mark to a question mark straight shooter I mean does anyone does anyone's dick curve mine does a little bit It to where left or right to the right. Yeah, so do you like are you like a master of some dicks curve like Fucking like a turnpike You get like the porn star curve when you've been like fucking a lot if you get like

Yeah, what are you? No, no, no, I had the highest one. I was like, I don't know my first high school curve The high school curve down the bell curve in the back of the bell curve. Yeah, it's like a like a like a kill It's going up a fit. It just like folds over when you're upset. It goes forward. Yeah Do it again. Do it again. Here's the wall. Yeah, people could not care less about that dick What's dick You squeak my dick a flexible. I'm not proud of my voice. My voice squeaks. Sorry, squeak. Ever since I've been working here It's been you know, I gotta say when you describe your dick is flexible

I think of a soft dick because when I'm hard I can literally puncture tev kevlar My god, I can go through a bulletproof vest. My jeans are my dick is just it's ready for all situations flexible It adapts to the situation. It's all right. You got that your hair Number three, I've I've missed twice. Yeah, you've missed three times. I'll be honest with you All the hair jokes. I'm not getting oh, they're all Yeah, they're super awful. I got a bitch I found a bitch. What is that a raging bitch? It's a raging bitch um for those who don't know we we uh

We bought what is this? What what company is this? Uh flying dog a flying dog flying dog has this uh beer called a raging bitch And then we took victory brewing companies Beer dirt wolf and we mixed them and made a dirty bitch dirty bitch Which was delicious by the way, you guys have them. We actually had you guys drink. It was real good. Um Are you drinking those? You best believe i'm drinking a bitch. I mean if anyone's gonna be drinking a bitch It's gonna be me drinking a bitch. What you have is that wolf in there?

This is wolf. This is this is wolf. Are you gonna you want some bitch? No, I'll be done. Are you gonna? Uh, you best believe it. Are you gonna bitch your wolf is what I'm saying. I'm gonna have I'm gonna have some you're gonna bitch your wolf I'm somebody use your autumn IPA. Dude, you know, it's funny when I first When we first started doing the show like I had a meeting in my old apartment, which was tiny My old apartment was so small Like there was no room to do any of this I was just super happy to have a place where I can have like just film stuff It'd be separate from my mom's house because everything I filmed was in my mom's basement

So it's like I need to get an apartment and it was um You know one of my friends his mom does real estate So I went to her and I was like, hey, I need a place like with two bedrooms Like you know one for like an editing studio and then just kind of like a place where I could do podcasts She's like, yeah, whatever. I'll show you a couple places the last place. She showed me. I was like, I'll take it It was $2,000 a month and it was this two bedroom place Second bedroom was tiny like arguably two bedrooms. Exactly. The second bedroom was tiny Like I just had like a futon in there that I never slept on

Other people might have slept on it Frankie did Frankie slept on it tend to have a house guest Frankie fucked on it. Oh Sorry Do you got their boys? That's cool. Yeah when in Rome It's basically your room. I mean that I live with my high school friends So it's like we're naked 90% of the time. Yeah, exactly Wait, hold on. You said you live with like six guys. No, I'm moving in with six guys Oh different. So will you really naked most of the time? Not with them. No, no

No, you gotta know someone at least at least like seven or eight years before you can really be like What we went to Miami back in 2000. I have like I have like how many how many good friends do you think we have? We have like 12 to 13 good friends. That's a good amount I would count. I would just like way more than the average person. I would count like five or six I would count four best friends. This is not four. This is yeah, and like good friends I'd count a solid like 20. Yeah, like really good for we're blessed beyond belief It's like real literally like not to get serious But the only reason why I'm even remotely funny is because well, my family is like funny in their own right

But my friends are like hysterical and there's 20 of us and you always have to be on your game You gotta be you're forced to be funny in front of these kids. You know what I mean? It's only gonna work in front. Yeah, exactly. I've known them since like fucking fifth grade or whatever and uh Yeah, there's like 15 of us but I'll be honest with you. I have no idea where I was going I have to be honest too. There's one more dirt wolf. I just made a dirty bitch For the last episode the last dirty bitch you'll see with your eyes or maybe you won't

You never know You never know we'll make up our mind after this show. Yeah, so I I'll be 100% honest since we started this episode I've had no idea where it was going to go. No, we haven't had any plans. We learned like a lot about us Really important information that I think the audience really wanted to know about us. Definitely. Well, like I said, you guys People don't see it. There's a lot more that goes behind this stuff and people realize You know, and like the editing is not easy You know, let's be honest Kyle you have to watch through everything and all the bullshit and all the piss breaks And all that shit. I'm we actually kept the piss break in when Keith was like, I got a pee

And you know, Keith's got a pee hole like a month Oh my god, Keith's pee hole is literally like this fucking kid. Fucking cantaloupe He's got a dick on him. Let me tell you he's got a dick And then you guys need to you know, you all need to like I said, I don't want to be fucking sitting here blowing them as much as I don't want to blow everyone here by the mouth Blow on bro, blow on bro, blow on bro He's like as much as I don't want to blow everyone here except for Mel Yeah, exactly You know, there's a lot that goes behind this so having you guys step out from behind and you know, not having you guys back there and talking to us over here

It's fucking dope. You know, except for the fact that you're a fucking Browns fan Listen, I'm a jets fan and I would rather be a jet fan than a brown fan Who's the best running bag of all time? The best running bag of all time? Jim Brown Jim Brown And that's not

Arguable Arguable or Curtis Martin? I'm not gonna argue Curtis Martin, but I'm not gonna argue a brown I'm Thomas Jones. That's what I'm gonna say Thomas Jones, yeah Sean Green to ends No, but I You know, it's it's it's cool to have you guys over here, you know

Really glad that you guys are here drinking some a bitch some modellos some uh bottle bitch What I was gonna say what I was gonna say before was when we first started the show And we had no idea what the fuck it was gonna be Originally my plan Was for the x-ray art because they were like, yeah, we're gonna have the show We're just gonna film it and the x-ray yard. It's just wherever you want it to be like, what is it gonna be? And I was like, all right Fucking I don't know like all I do is literally all the all the things I'm interested in are just like

Drinking and sports which when they asked me that like what do you like interest and I'm like Well, these two things and I'm like, well, that's kind of pathetic But uh, I was like, so we'll just make the x-ray yard just like a drinking show So the first episode If you go back and watch it Mike rucker Was in New York. Yeah, and he was here and he made us manhattan's Loving you know, you love man. He wanted to be really classy

And he didn't go that route, right? We were like, all right. My original plan was like, all right So the x-ray yard is just gonna be me and whoever's a guest at the time Someone's gonna make a drink. It's just like a random drink. We're gonna have a bartender Yeah, we're gonna have a bartender like we're just gonna talk about random shit. Here's the thing lesson one episode shit, okay Full screens in LA and if you look at all the other shows they're in LA I'm the only one without new york. They're in a studio. They're in a studio with like high class shit We're just in my fucking apartment Just just going just going for it literally beers

Half of a table and i'm like i'm going out on a limb here Although I think i'm not going out on a limb. I think this is the best show they got You said it not me, but there's not much we have to do better than these other youtubers that they have on there Who are the other fucking youtubers? I don't know the envy. Oh my god. Who the fuck is that? No idea. I'm just naming youtubers and fighters. I know who's lian. Yeah, check out. Check out Shane Dawson's movie like not cool It's it's really good. Oh, yeah, it's really good. It's super good People that like to try to joke about being funny. How about people that just talk shit And might make you smile every now and then how about darwold?

How about How about that What are you doing What is this by the way? This is a dirty bitch That's a dirty bitch. You might have heard of it. Okay, you have a second Wow guys, this is a raging bitch and a dirt wolf mixed together I swear to god when I stand up i'm gonna fall down When we went to go pee before

Fourth wall again. We we took our time to pee. Sorry kyle Sorry Kyle's gonna have a long day tomorrow. I don't have any tomorrow. I can't do this. Fuck it. Fuck it. Literally This was like the sewer and dairy main from it. It was just oh shit. You saw that. Okay, you guys saw Okay, I think I've been doing it. Oh, yeah, we can time out time out. I want to see it so badly spoiler alert It was so fucking good. Okay, so well done. That's all you can say. Of course. There are flaws No, I know. Yeah, there are flaws But as a movie in a whole the acting the horror the comedy

It was the shit killed it. I'm excited. Literally. I swear to god the entire movie. You're like scared. They keep you on edge the entire time and There's parts where I was bursting out laughing And I I like pride myself on being someone who's just like a fan of like Things that are actually funny, you know, because it's like the people a lot of people laugh at things that Aren't that funny. You know what I mean? Just to be friendly. Exactly. Like just to be friendly You are just like ha ha ha like whatever. I don't know our sense of humor just sucks It's like half the laughs I get but I was a bursting out laughing at times during this movie and I was like scared for 90

You know what's the most fucked is that you're so ancient like I'm not an anxious person But like during the whole movie you're so anxious something is coming. It never stops Never stops. You're always on edge. It never stops. You're anxious and then comedy and then Horror and then comedies, you know what I mean? Like it's good. It does. It does really well for itself I think you'll really really like I've seen cabin in the woods. I've seen cabin. The one of my favorite horror movies of all time All right. All right. Wait, wait. What's the verdict on clowns? Like are they are they fun clowns? I'm not scared of clowns at all. I don't get that

No, I'm not Don't tell me I think as of the last 25 years Joey knows I get too much into the you know, behind the scenes of you know, logic and thought By the sense of logic 25 years we've found There's more horror in the simplicity of life and things that are more of life of life Finding a good bacon egg and cheese, you know, and you know what I mean? Like there's there's more horror than the simplicity of life

She's thinking you see it follows Scary it follows is great because you never know. That's what I'm saying. It is such a simple movie and it's done so well Which is why I love it. Yeah, you and I say I send my friends snapchat So like this girl won't stop following me and there's nobody there and that's why I love also Cabin in the woods because it redefines and kind of subverts the horror genre You know what? I mean like as much as it's not as simple it literally throws the kitchen sink at you, but literally Literally, do I have to duck? Yeah, you have to duck motherfucker in the theater. There's a sink It's it um

It doesn't make you afraid of the clown as much as it makes you afraid of the concept Of the clown of it Because it I'm not going to get too much into it and into the book, but it is not a clown It isn't it. It is a Cosmic entity as one of my friends posted like it the first gender neutral supervillain of all time. Yeah, it's so 2017 I mean, it's a male and then a female in the comic millennial levelant. Is it better than stranger things though? Stranger things literally We're gonna get weird here. Okay straight up. I'm gonna be completely honest with you

I swear to god and I haven't told anyone this but like after I watch I don't know it's a two-hour podcast. Yeah, so like So I watched the in-movie all those kids are in it. Whatever. They're the main actors whatever wolf hard feel Yo, listen, wolf hard is fucking ridiculous Ridiculous. Love it Um, but after I watched the movie. I'm just so invested in these fucking kids Like the kid who plays the kid with the fanny pack, right? If you've seen the trailer or you've seen the movie His name is jack dylan grazer

And then you have finn wolfhard who is the kid from stranger things who plays richie. I believe his name is Seth green played him. So those two kids are absolutely Ridiculous in this movie. They're amazing. They're good in their roles or whatever I don't know why but i'm like I'm the type of person that when i'm like a fan of somebody like I need to watch all their interviews I need to watch everything like I want to know the kind of person they are or whatever I've been watching interviews of the the fucking it cast

And it's just like weird because my god, these kids are like fucking 13 you're like written for their careers not the characters There's like, I love this kid. He's a good movie. I'm just like yo, I want to be this kid's big brother Yeah, you want to give us my advice? You know what I mean? Like I'm just like yo these kids are fucking awesome Look, there are some characters in the movie that do not You know perform as well as others However as as an ensemble, which I think is the point of the the chapter one of it if you guys know the book They're amazing Incredibly well, they do incredibly well. You will not be upset if you see it

I'm looking forward to it. It's so good. Yeah, I feel like we give a lot of promo for free on the show Yeah, you don't want to fuck that movie Shit Brothers Andy Musietti New line cinema if you fucking hear this you need us you son of a bitch We're the voice of the youth. They don't but like I hope they believe it They made 132 million dollars on a 35 million dollar budget. I've done that How much does steven king back? Isn't it awful that like we know how much it costs?

It's like weird weird, man. Yes, what the budget of this show is 20 bucks $37 $35 million A lot of dick a lot of curve dick Hey full screen send us the mill curve dick a lot of curved dick on the show Wait for the extra yard. You'll see what's going on. I'm so like I'm gonna pee my pants again. I'll be honest. You're gonna pee. I might I'm actually good. I could I'm actually good right now. I'm super good right now. I peed in the middle of this. I'll be honest

I peed right right after the first question was done. I was like, I gotta pee We gotta get the fuck out. Was there another question or did you have another question? We have another question I did but I didn't want to ask it Oh, I'm gonna read it because like let's just run down here. Let them read it. We're about like over now Are you pulling back on us? Oh, he's pulling back. Um, what a pussy. Here we go. The question is Worst thing you've done with your parents in the house First of all, let me read what the question says because this is what he wrote down This is after me and freaky have been drinking for a while

Franky wrote worst thing you've done with your parents in the house with them there We're done there Worst thing you've done with your parents in the house with them there. Oh, Jesus Christ Romel the most embarrassing thing you've done with your parents in the house embarrassing Or why that you've done with your parents in the house I don't know. I don't know. I've definitely had sex with girls on my by the way, you're from Miami. Yeah I'm gonna tell you do my game and high school was so crazy where I had a two-story house I have a younger sister shout out to barbie

Uh, she's like seven time out your sister's name is not barbie. Her name is barbie. What's her actual name? Barbara that sucks. I would call her barbara over barbie living in Miami. Just want to say that barbie. Well, anyway She's a lot younger than I am So how much she had her own room and her room had to go a little Doesn't answer seven years. She's seven years younger like way younger. Yeah, so I used to fucking I think like I break the alarm in her window and I would fucking sneak out out of the second floor and jump down this shit It was like a whole mission just to go out and fucking, you know make moves You're like the fucking venezuelan james bond. Yeah, I do the best one that I was trying to come home

Like I would have to like try to catch his overhang and pull myself up. There was a that's even It was time for like I got so tired. I didn't think I would make it. You know, I'd be like You're all wasted. Yeah wasted. I just made my nuts can't help laying it down. You're like You're like I'm so tired from fucking Yeah, you're like james buen demos the fucking venezuelan james bond Super good. I'm done with you. It's your turn I mean Oh, here it comes. Oh, I I read a book embarrassing things in miami, by the way

We're not gonna talk. Yeah. No good thing. Oh I should do a miami episode Listen if we can go to miami and have an episode that'd be amazing because we used to go to miami every single summer and Rent out a house and just throw parties and shit. It was a disaster. All right. I'm gonna do my best impression of my best impression of p Oh, when I was in miami, I read a book on a beach once and saw a pair of boobies I I was never in miami Is the first problem

All right, go ahead Pete hates miami because the LeBron went to miami. Yeah. Yeah, I do too. By the way, that's just florida in general too Hey, I used to live in florida. Come on. Hey, did you? Orlando? Yeah, lake lint chrisale Lake lint. I had an ex-girlfriend who lived there and she sucks Oh my god. She literally believe me. They do Hey, hello I was like five. I don't know what you what you want me to tell you. I mean like just like in your Accidentally finger popped your turtle

Stories your parents walking on you. No, that's mine. I'm gonna wait for that. Hey. Hey, I can't stop that All right, Pete. You're a good guy Great guy. Tell us your favorite color in substitute Excuse me. Yeah, what is your favorite color in substitute? Oh, I was like thought that was some weird What is what is your favorite color? I don't think that's like a thing like colors. Give me your fucking favorite color You know what's weird? I don't believe in favorite colors. I think it's silly unless you're like six. What's your favorite? Pete's real things are coming out on this podcast right now. I'm serious like

It's been 26 weeks. They're 26 weeks You know what's weird though is give me a color at one point I went back through old like shit when I was like kindergarten like old school like projects, whatever And I was like my favorite color is yellow I never the worst of my favorite dude. That's what I said. I was like, yeah I had no memory of writing it. I'd never I'm embarrassed. You're my dp for this show and you're his dp You're lucky. Hey, all right. Kyle Frankie. What does dp stand for? You know what it is?

Double penetration double dp director of penetrate. I went to dpu So what was yours my my most embarrassing moment at home? Uh, the only one that comes to mind right now is like I was in my room jerking off What you do? Just beating it. You know A lot of high school. It was either jerking off or watching weird movies and while jerking off. Yeah, but it was like Pulp fiction was so like that's another that's another question. I'm going. I'm going I'm like like right about to finish and then I hear a knock on my door

So I grabbed the laptop Pull it over my crotch blank. It's two And then my mom comes in and she's like, hey Did you leave the garage open with a bunch of stuff as she's talking? I'm coming like I'm just I'm like, I'm like, I think I haven't jerked off in like a couple weeks and it was just or not a couple weeks Maybe like a week or two. It was and I'm like, yeah, sure as you're feeling the pulses going through and I'm Yeah, sorry And then it's just all like going to my belly button. It's all on my belly button right now. Do you think she knew?

I hope Do you have like trouble now? No, no, no, listen. I got over it really quickly. You you honestly let's be honest 100 for the cameras You came to your mom. I came Well, I was looking at my mom and I was like, it's been it's been downhill ever since. All right, so this has been the Basement yard We're gonna end it there came for your mom So I'm so title. I hope you're happy honestly like those are those those are the things I like those are my nightmares

Like someone coming for your mom is your nightmare. No walking someone walking in as I'm coming. I'm like, no And also someone walking into the bathroom as I'm wiping like those are my two That is way less bad way less my brother should walk in as I'm wiping. Yeah, dude my asshole like I'm very vulnerable I'm not like this isn't my proudest moment I would have that happen like like 50 times before the other one. I would but yeah jerking off is pretty tough Pretty tough. Yeah, tough like that. It'll happen once a week for a year versus One of the other one, you know guys you go to therapy get over it, you know six weeks minimal

Look for a call. We're all survivors It sounds like you've been through this whole like I got great hair me and Ramon I have traumatic childhood. Yeah, I've got some grace. You can see him from here. I'm yeah, he's younger than you and he's got more You know what I mean? I'm like, I'm on the same edge. Do you know how bad I want fucking What are you doing? I want grace so bad Let's get back into it. So bad You want salt and pepper dog, dude salt and pepper

Salt salt and pepper. Why why do you guys want great great here? Honestly, you can see them from here. You can see them I honestly think and I have been told by many people. I am an older soul And I am meant for grace You're not an older soul. You listen to classic rock as do I I'm listening to jazz glenn millers and you can Jazz for the extra yard check it out Listen, you're gonna do another level of like the ladies when you start getting grays But you got to say goodbye to the younger ones. I'm fine with losing. No, you do. You do. Everybody wants a daddy

Listen, you go to a bar and like when the the girls who when they're like mid to early 20s Already they're like, uh, man, like sure. They're the one that are like down for the old dudes But they're the one that are like you're old From oh, yeah, but if you if you are like, let me get a shot of king louis. They'll be like What's up? He's buying, you know, because they're all like starving. They live like in a fucking cardboard box Yeah, first of all, will you take care of me? Exactly If a woman don't if a woman is at a bar and sees you wearing a camo shirt

You're sad because they believe with with the the gray locks They think that you're a fucking superstar. Oh my god, are you a marine corps? Yeah. Oh my god. One, two, three, four I'm made of corn One of my friends like hits the gym like he's been going to gym for like two years straight And he wore this like he was just wearing a tight t-shirt because he's a douche bag And he was wearing this like camo hat. Who is it? Josh and he went to a bar and the bartender was like He was wearing a camo hat. He's like, thank you for your service and he was like Um, I'm just a fucking as a joke. I'm just a guy basically, uh, you know

So what we've learned from here is as hot as romel is which let's be honest You're high. You're hot. You're high of romel. Listen. Wait, you didn't hot You didn't rate him as high as I thought you would Did you really know I want my girlfriend to be afraid of how hot he is Because I want her to please me Right because let's be honest He will steal I feel like your girlfriend. I don't think I 10 No of me. Yeah, thank god. I wish once she sees him. She says 11. Are you kidding me? Look at this

This one goes through 11 dude. Let's have a double date. Nice try you son of a bitch. Hey, man Let's send this shit out Close it. I'll bring my lady. Close it. Joe. I'll bring my lady. No Is she brazilian because like no, I can't I'm in droll. She's she's latina dude. She's like she's very spicy She's spicy. Yeah, very spicy. Did she have an accent? Uh, no, she I mean she could put it on though What kind of latina why not? You know what kind of latina? I mean, she's like mixed, you know, she's like half like peruvian Where is this going? Peruvian and my ex-girlfriend is peruvian

Yeah, dude Has she done ancestry? Have she swapped her mouth yet? What's going on? All right. Listen. I'm already at the doghouse of my girlfriend right now So let's just She's not happy with me. Why? Bring on the extra. You know take it all out. You know reclaim her glory Uh, let's end this before it gets out of fucking good. Yeah. Oh before Yeah, this has been all the way before

It's been a good run. You know, it's been a good run with full screen. Cheers to full screen. Love hanging out with you guys You know, dirt wolf takes every wednesday Bitches! The bitches! I want to know why you keep saying that What? There's no bitches except your sister that one time. We try to get striptears They don't, by the way, I think you had like one girl on all 26 episodes Did I? Who was the girl? The wolf girl. Sexist. The girl who you worked with before. The k-wolf. K-wolf. All right. Your sister Oh, my sister was on there. She doesn't count. She doesn't count. Oh

Pete shooting this shot. He's like, whoa Hey guy, um But yeah, it's been fun. I see working with full screen. Uh You know if you're subscribed That's cool. Good for you. Let's do it. Keep going. Hey, if you got AT&T, it's like a free year. It's a free year That's how I got it. I work with them, but I don't get it. If you already paid for your month dope, you know what I mean? Sick um Go out to your nearest

Supermarket go get some wolf. Uh, that's on the house. By the way, they're not paying me yet Hopefully suit a solid. We're in talks in talks. We're in talks, you know, I mean contract negotiations Holdouts. Yeah, the lord Ramel's got to go pee. So we're gonna end this right now. She's he's bringing down the whole Hold on real quick. Kyle, where can they find you? They can find me on uh, kyle lose a lot now You want to be found? Yeah. Yeah, kyle lives alone on twitter and instagram. Check me out. I post pictures of my dog a lot On instagram. What kind of dog? Love a good dog. He's a springer spaniel It's your dog. Joe. Joe retreated me once and I got like a hundred likes. It was great. It was the best thing ever

But I need more so dope. He's thirsty. Yeah, Pete. Where can they find you? Uh twitter and instagram pete underscore o hair o h a re like the airport My boy does a bunch of one more time one more time. What was that? Yeah, pete underscore o hair Pete I bet you have abs And yeah, yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah, of course, but yes, romel. Where'd that come from? You can find me on instagram Romy your homie R. O. M. I. You are

homie Well, hold on. There's no other ways to spell homie. I. E. Come on. Oh h o m. I. E. There's other ways to spell homie When I was you have room here homie and uh, also I'm wearing this mayday shirt And uh, my brother's album came out this weekend. So go fucks with it. Yeah, good. I tunes, you know what I'm saying Wait, what's it? What's the album? That's good. Well, the name of the band is called mayday search party the album I've heard that shit before not even fucking around. What's the album called? The album's called search party search party. It's really good. It's by mayday The band's mayday. My brother's been around for a while. What kind of what kind of music is it so you can get people

It's rap it's it's hip-hop. No, it's it's a band and he raps. Yes. Why the fuck haven't we had? Yo fucks with them, dude I'm literally just gonna turn this on right now. Yeah, it's good stuff. Yeah, we can have one the show next Well Y'all want a burns you got a burns. Yeah the after after show. Yeah, it's lit Frank where can they find you on twitter at frank underscore alvarez 80 alva rez 80 The number on twitter. Uh, also, I do a wrestling podcast called the square in circle jerks You can find us at scj pod on twitter And then on instagram so you can see me literally post once every six months at f alvarez alva rez underscore 80

That's it And that is all guys. It's been a good run. Uh shout out to fullscreen for making this happen met these cool dudes Dudes who knows what will happen in the future? I don't know what the future of this show is of course It'll be coming out on soundcloud all the time and you could go back and You can sign up for full screens. You can go back and watch all the episodes all the episodes I'll honestly say that the all the episodes. It's probably worth to go back and watch

It's like if you're gonna sign up for the x yard It's like 15 minutes plus 26 or times 26 So that's like a couple of minutes a couple hours of content. Exactly. You think it's a lot of Nine come on man nine seven point two six point nine six Jesus Christ Out of nowhere, I don't want to be hurt anymore. So taking my woman that is all For the basement yard on full screen It's been real. Whoo. Thank you And we'll see you when we see you

Okay, go to soundcloud.com slash the basement yard to check out the rest of the episodes coming soon and Yeah, sign up for full screen if you want to see the last extra yard of all time It's the last last extra yard. We're going big We made a special guy. We were like Michael rocker would like hey Is there money left in the budget? We used it all spend the money wait I'm gonna pee I'm gonna pee so hard so

But I don't know what's going on, but it's gonna be big So if you don't have full screen sign up for it so you can see it and that is all and we'll see you guys next week