The Basement Yard - The Extra Yard - Frank Alvarez

Episode Date: January 16, 2020

On this episode, we are joined by another Basement Yard legend, Frank Alvarez and this episode is utterly insane..I don't know how else to put it honestly. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey welcome back to the extra yard it is my show now I have made these two my puppy hurry up it's Frank it's Frank Albright from the stank how are you thank you kids would have done 20 minutes just now I would have done 20 you know if you also have one curl poking at the side of your head I like it turn face this see the one curl oh yeah it's big oh yeah your hair is getting long dude yeah it is getting are you going it out no I'll cut it before the wedding you got a FIFA headband I do have a FIFA headband a fed band why immediately you didn't make fun of me the whole time I'm making fun of you I'm making observations look

observations look your shirt too is very nice this is a nice shirt it is don't make fun of it I like your headband thank you Danny thank you Danny for liking my headband like your headband and sure like your ring thank you nice little ring you got thank you my dead grandpa gave it to me oh yeah oh good friend what are you gonna say I don't know what a what a nice ring oh I thought you were gonna go for a dead person to give me what you're saying yeah but like it's a nice dead ring it's a nice dead person's ring for me to have now did he wear it when he was dying no did you wear it when he gave it to me as he was

dying Danny ripped it off yeah that's after he died I made a deal with them why is your light on because I'm always shining I'll turn it off in a second what I'm saying is is that as he was going he gave his grandchildren some of his things he decided to give me this ring that's really nice yeah they gave everyone else property yeah yeah that night yeah wait seriously no I don't know oh I was gonna say honestly if it was gonna go that way that's well that's what would happen I hate this fucking thing by the way what it just keeps spinning excuse us yeah yeah why are you using that Mike I just realized we

have another one of these mics where we have four of these Mike yeah but two of them are connected into the morning meeting cut it no one's stopping any of it it's connected yeah you can connect I don't know cuz there's so much extra wire on those things now I don't know what to do there's only one wire there's a lot of wire right it's like those vaginas that always surprise you yeah yeah which ones you know okay the ones where you go in and you're like that's it's that's more than I thought that's more than I was you know you ever look at a vagina and go hey wait a minute hold on this isn't right am

I in the right place that literally happened to me recently not with vaginas but I got I went to a comedy club and I was like wait this isn't the one I went to because they changed locations it's kind of like that yeah you show up like wait am I yeah it's not where I parked my car did you do did you do the whole like look at your phone pretend like I gotta go outside yeah and I literally I was talking it up like I knew the place and I was like I was like yeah cuz I've been there before where it's the stand oh I've been to the stand but yeah but they completely changed locations and the place now is like

incredible looking really that's probably the nicest comedy club I've ever been really yeah they redid it are they still in second half or they like completely I don't really know I don't remember but they but the whole front of it is like a restaurant with like a legitimately nice bar really and then there's a downstairs we're like let's go some time like me out we'll go I would love to go take me out right you ever you guys ever cross the street like say like you're walking the wrong way in Manhattan and you're like kind of like instead of just being like oh I'm going the wrong way I'll be like you know what

mate I'll go this way yeah yeah so like say I'm walking downtown I'm supposed to be walking uptown yeah to seem like I I'm from New York I'll be like I'll stop there be like you know what let me go that way you know I'm a head back you're gonna say it out loud yeah to no one to no one to no one I am so concerned you know what fuck this I'm gonna go that way yeah because as a New Yorker I take so much pride that I know where I'm from if you're a New Yorker and you don't know Manhattan to other New Yorkers you're worthless yeah not dude it's a possible to come out of the subway and feel like I you know we're north and

west and east yeah they set you up for failure with that in the subway stage possible but I'm also saying you have to make it out let you have to say it out loud because if you don't people are gonna know people are gonna judge you they'd be like oh this fucking guy doesn't know where he's going you know what I've done I've been walking a certain way and then realize I'll fuck I'm going the wrong way so I'll cross the street and then go back the other way oh no I stop and I turn I've done that I don't stop in turn I stop I rely on my phone a lot I'll be like oh shit I'll be right there and I'll turn the other way

and go isn't that so dumb it is no one's even looking at us but someone's looking always looking how many times have you seen a person do that I've maybe three times in my life I am not as attentive as others that's what I'm but no one's attentive that's my point is it attentive or attentive it's one of them a tent attention attend it's not a tentative it's not a tentative shun attended a tentative no one I think a tentative is a word though attentive attentive maybe aware where oh wait oh observance observance I'll take that to look at that yeah like how that's working yeah I've never I've never been

afraid to like cross the street but I'm afraid to get judged by fellow New Yorkers yeah that I might be walking the wrong way and also hate when people like y'all pick you up the southeast corner took me a long time to figure that out yeah no I give up on that you know what you know it's another weird thing that I do being like it's like you're saying you take a lot of pride the earth from New York and when you're in Manhattan you just assume everyone's not from there so you're like I gotta like show my dominance here my New Yorker dominance when I'm standing at a corner I got to be out out in the street because like

people are like on the sidewalk I'm at the New York police they're from the Ukraine I'm walking out in the middle of the street I don't know what it is this is maybe it's just me I hope it's one of you too as well but like if like some has anyone ever like come up to you been like oh we're tourists we need to know where to go blah blah blah so and so I always turn up my New Yorkness to like a 50 and I'm like oh you need a fucking no well listen if you want some good gamma-gold is that downtown yeah like I don't talk like that yeah I don't do it like also there's no way I'm not giving you directions oh yeah I don't even

direction I don't even care if they're wrong I'm giving you directions I've done that because there's no way I'm letting you know that I don't know where you're supposed to go yeah I don't know I make shit up like I'll just yeah I'll be like oh well you're looking for a good place to see Times Square got it all like I don't know what it is like a bubble bubble gum shrimp yeah fucking plant in Hollywood yeah you know a red lobster yeah like oh it got it all like don't go into midtown expecting like real like like trying to find like New York food because you're just gonna find change it yeah also if you need to ask somebody

for directions in this day and age I'm really worried about you know what I hate when people go hey do you know where this is like a store and I'm like fucking Google it I don't how why would I know the layout of the entire we live we live in a pretty pretty technological time where if you can't find it what makes you think I will I don't nobody should be asking anybody for directions at this day and age yeah if like that's like someone come up to you oh do you know where this fucking bodega is like every corner that bodega is on every single I will say there are some places in Manhattan though that are like oh the

address is 140 whatever right and then you show up and it just looks like a bakery and you're like what the fuck and there's a there's a secret door yeah you got to go to it's like you gotta ring this bell and then you're like wait do I walk through the bakery well my least favorite is like I go to some of these you know construction sites for work and oh yeah you're fucking in me we stand there we hammer things and we scream at pussy have you ever been cackle the one of these things no no no I have been called an idiot every other way yeah like people on the site like people because I need to meet with people on

site to try to like get like information from them and you know I'll be like listen man like I just need to know fuck you you fucking idiot I'm not telling you a fucking thing really yes right I got fired and I'm like whatever I'm like there are other people like today I had a guy he was like listen like no disrespect I really don't want to offend you but like I can't talk to you and I'm like cool that's okay yeah but like the everything in there is as big as the whole fucking block so it's like oh you're gonna go to West 69th and then you're gonna that's where you got to be and the entrance is on like fucking like

West 38th you know what I mean like that whole yeah don't give me numbers to a building don't tell me oh meet me on you'll meet me at 440 38th Street like 38th Lex or wherever I need to be I hate that shit so what's your day like now like morning wise to like a regular work day it depends I mean what do you do when you first get up yeah instant in the bathroom number one or no no like do you check your phone no and I literally you wake up and go shit straight to the bathroom you poop immediately straight to the bathroom every time straight to the bathroom but are we talking about poop or pee I am talking like an absolute

avalanche of fluids from my body got everything you can think of comes out that's hot that's that's nice except for like come like the good stuff don't not the good stuff the bad stuff everything bad I can argue that poop is good what about some blood maybe depends on what I eat you know yeah he does not you know I eat beets the other day that will scare you in some colon cancer yeah well it's like you know there's blood and Becca goes don't be alarmed your shit's gonna be red I'm like oh we're talking about this now yeah I can happen to me before I'm like oh we're really talking about I don't want to know about your

fucking your boop your dumps shit colors and you gotta know about the boops well if I have kids I'm gonna have to learn about just like shit oh yeah baby shit is not shit baby shit isn't shit it's mud it's it's mud it's pudding it starts as pudding gets money and then it's like you ever played with that kinetic sand yes where you pick it up and then you go like this right do you think yeah that's basically what baby shit starts as pudding then goes to mud then goes to poop then goes to shit I gotta be honest with you though like I'd rather deal with baby shit than like adult shit cuz adult no I wouldn't I would rather deal

with baby shit because yeah it's a mess and it gets everywhere but like you feel like they feel bad they didn't know I feel like a baby shit is less intimidating like if I have to clean up an old man shit oh but it's the same as baby shit no no no no baby shit old man shit only thing that separates him is a little bit of hair and a hundred years and a hundred years and it probably smells way worse yeah it's now you're sick and it's like a sick person's poop it's the same viscosity though whoa we're going to viscosity yeah that's a very attentive word thank you didn't work there yeah no I wouldn't mention words

dude from someone that has seen like out of this world shit wait why dude I just say his own shit no check in old man no I used to as you guys know I used to work a target yeah there was yeah dude I've seen that shit I walked into the bathroom and I saw a shit that I kid you not I was like this can only come from a bear did you know yeah dude I yo I swear to God I have pictures on my computer I will show you after this shit yeah it was like it was like a fucking eggplant it honestly I'm not even kidding I remember you sent me a picture of that and I was like that can't come out of a person and you know

we couldn't like I was there with like the janitorial staff and we were like what do we do clean it up cuz you can't no it's in the toilet you think he literally can't flush he had to sit there and fucking machito he was he he had to bash his poop yeah so you're standing there you and two janitors one of them is hacking away at that mega yo he's taking a stick are there is there flushes is the other one flush he's just he's not even worried about the flush yet he's just straight up just fucking he's bashing he's bashing this shit ah we should have got like he's plunging a poop into pieces a mashed

potatoes yeah yeah I've definitely made those that guy was making mashed potatoes he was mashing shit what was he using he was I think he was just using a regular stick which just a stick just a regular stick like rookie move was he doing this he was going down he was fucking like literally beating the shit and it was fucking solid like you know that mud like clay when you hit it it doesn't like go through it like breaks apart into solid pieces you know what I'm talking about like a mossy mud like member member at the lake house we say Indian clay no they can't say that 2020 native American clay I don't know if

that's helping what you want to say it clay it was that's what that's what it was called like when we were kids so when it was okay it's literally dirt on the bottom of the link it's clay okay it's clay it's clay it's clay it has the the texture of a clay if you put it in the kiln it would bake and become hard so you're saying put it in a kiln you don't know what that is make fun of me for it I don't know what a kiln is all right everyone guys never guys never fired an ornament never fired an ornament never made a fucking bowl in his life fired an ornament let's get had you never fired fired clay no awesome what is

that I had a pottery class a kiln it's a giant oven that gets up to like 30 not 30 it's like 2,000 degrees what and it like you you mold stuff with clay put it in there and become solid and you take it home that's how they make ceramic bowls and shit that's all clay then you would carve your name in the bottom where do this I did my middle school yeah I think I went to nice schools why did I fucking have an oven in it you never took like an art class dude our fucking food was like made in a microwave I have art classes but we drew oh it's snowing oh wow another squall it's not a squall this hasn't been a

winter hasn't been a winter hasn't stop but so it was a giant shit man this guy was going to town on this fucking thing it was it was sweating did it how long did it take to talk about a good like six or seven minutes did it come apart like a coconut it yeah yes it did was there a protective layer around and then maybe a mushy it was like a gelatinous blood membrane around this this tore up an asshole so it had like a placenta it had a placenta this was a dump baby yeah you know they do that to baby sometimes they just put them into yeah I didn't want to say that but that's where I was thinking yeah they do

that I'm in the trash you know it's crazy about thrown babies out like what you think was gonna happen yeah it's like evil you know what I mean it's evil baby I don't think they're doing much thinking yeah I think that's the point I actually when I when I yeah but it's like you don't want to I actually interned with the police department and that was one of the cases that happened they took you out on the case and you went and saw this baby in a trash can everyone slow down I didn't see it baby in a trash can I work like I went through the file of the case that was going on they let you go through a file fuck yeah I went

through files of like some like major like mob hit you filed through a trash can and found a baby no no see don't you found this baby no it was your baby it were undercover as the baby this is clearly getting out here in the trash this is my you were cancel this shit your baby is this do you crack the kid did you solve it let me know what you want if it wasn't for those meddling kids damn dumpster baby I was an intern with a police department in Connecticut and there was a case where a girl was a teenager she had the kid and hid it from her family and put it it's heartbreaking she put the kid in a laundry

basket and it died and she got charged rightfully with murder yeah I mean you killed the baby yeah it's like it was fucking heartbreaking but like people do that shit yeah I wouldn't go laundry basket though those are like there's holes in them yeah it'll smell or just the kid's gonna get cold and she didn't hide the baby she killed it she she did both so she would hide the baby like throughout the night and like go out to the garbage can check on it birth and it was like a wire in her room she gave birth in a bedroom or the parents don't know she was having a baby dumb parents dumb parents absentee I could you know I

could hear a pregnancy if it was three doors down could you yeah what does it sound like I don't know to do rip some towels how did she how'd she um um umbilical cord I don't know but apparently it's a thing people don't know they're pregnant okay yeah that's true though I've heard about that I've heard there are women that are of larger stature mm-hmm mother Mary who's this mother Mary who gave birth to Jesus oh no that was immaculate conception she knew that she was pregnant yeah but she didn't know how it happened yeah but you know first of all Joseph first cuck ever oh first cuck ever first cuck ever

I'm pregnant but wait wait wait I didn't do it listen I was I was in bed one night right and this angel came God's be and then the angel came down and said hey listen we're gonna put God's baby in you and I was like no no don't do that please please but they were like Joseph will never believe me Joseph will never believe me I want to be I want to do right by him I love him and they were like don't worry about it you don't even have to have sex you just have to have the baby Joseph will understand how many and he bought it how many times you think that line has been used afterward like listen like I am going to put the seat

of all back then no now oh no no one doesn't know it doesn't know what back then I think everyone in the town was you know getting around and then being like it must have been immaculate must have been immaculate it must have it must have immaculate that's a good word Joseph first documented cuck that's a good that's a good argument mm-hmm that's a really good argument I would be I would bitch I would would you be upset or would you just be like all right like they did the work wait what wait it all the work what you talking about someone else put the baby in there would I be mad if my wife was pregnant with someone

else's baby I think I'd be a little like they did the work they could they could do the work what the fuck are you even saying I don't even know how to decode you what you're saying you know what I'm saying I have no idea you picking up how do we get here from shit I don't know but that shit was mashed up my buddy mashed up mashed it up we watched Tom Hanks his son about 15 times before so I think that's probably why I've seen those you've seen his son yeah like what going on the tears your boy raise hanks yeah that's my best impression that's not bad here to Gordon Globes yeah he's like my father out there hey I'm one

and why are you yeah I have a friend Tom Hanks is also the whitest man oh he is the the fucking like if you were if you needed like a shell to pour the paint in to make a white man if you're gonna Westworld the white person it's Tom Hanks and his son's that it's hilarious dude and it's so funny because he was like so emotional his family was there but like I think he loves his half Jamaican son would you that was your son like I was talking about this recently if your son did some stupid shit like that shit on extreme love you can't love him anymore I know they say like love your child no matter what I'm

setting boundaries you start making your fucking wife into your your daughter sex slave you're not my son anyway so wait so what are you so what are you saying are you saying that if your son was Chet Hanks you'd put him in a laundry basket is that what you're telling me wow full circle full circle full circle I would say if I saw my son is Chet Hanks I'm beaten the fucking ever-living hell out because he wants to throw in a little Jamaican so you don't like Drake either then because he does that let's be honest I've never liked Drake okay but like that's Tom Hanks his son it's a little strange if I'm Tom

Hanks and I'm America's dad night my son's coming back and he's like what also had some trouble he's also gone on the records using the n-word oh my kids I was like listen this maybe for a role maybe I was just about to say like America's dad has a fucking it's like a Madden curse because Bill Cosby was the last American so if you're the next American dad then like Chet Banks used to be known as Chet Hayes and he was a rapper oh no I do remember that actually Chet Hayes how do you guys remember this and I never heard of this this was a while a long time ago like early I've never heard any

of his songs really that I don't like remember any of them but I just do remember that Tom Hanks being like the whitest person ever having a son yeah they're horrible horrible that's really bad you know and then he's got his other son though Colin who's like respected he's also so white he's one of the whitest people I've ever seen Colin Hanks you know Colin Hanks you'll know by his face he's one of Dexter Colin Hanks he was in Dexter he was on like every CBS show he's very white he looks like Pee Wee Herman a little bit yeah little bit yeah I mean look she's called Pee Wee you guys first name bases is it

what's that guy's actual name shit it's on the tip of my tongue Pee Wee Herman's real name is it's like Arthur no that's a really white name it's not it is damn it it's all the tip of my tongue is bothering me I bother me too what is it Pee Wee give me the first initial Pee Wee no Paul Paul Paul Paul give it to me last initial Rosenstein Rubens yes Paul Rubens got it Paul Rubens yeah got cocked whacking that cock rubbing it yeah why was he he was trying to like go crazy in there yeah now when you guys think guys go to rubbing tugs it you think it has to do with other people in the room that gets them turned on or

they just don't have access to porn in their house I think it's I think it's more of like ooh I'm not supposed to do this yeah some people just want the hand of a woman yeah I was watching a show recently and the guy was like yeah I didn't my wife didn't have sex with me for a year so like I needed someone to touch me and it's like I think they think it's like not cheating it definitely yeah but what if you go there and jerk off yourself then that's that's also illegal yeah I mean Rubin tugs are illegal also yeah yeah I mean that's why I said also but like I feel like if you if you get in trouble for getting rubbed

and you get in trouble for rubbing one is way worse yeah getting caught for jerking off in public is not that bad trouble wait wait wait which one's worse is the Rubin tug worse or just like if I if I went to a Rubin tug right and like me and my wife haven't had sex in here and I'm like I just need to the warmth of a woman's palm so I go so I go right and I get tugged yeah and it just so happens is the first time I go a Rubin tug it's a sting you're really into this is this happened I'm asking a question I'll get to it so they come in and they you know I get in trouble cuz they stung the place basically they

stung it they stung it place have been stung is that worse than me getting caught jerking off in there like which one I would I would assume so it's worse it's worse if you're getting part of it being a part of it or doing it yourself do it get being a part of it I don't well because then there's some like fucking conspiracy you know what I mean but then I feel like that might be but because isn't the other one if you get caught jerking off in public that's like you're a sexual offense you're a sex offender but if you get caught getting jerked off you're not a but I'm talking about when guys will go to those movie theaters to

come I don't know I don't know is Robert Kraft a sex offender nah he's just an old guy who wants to get the thing rubbed down put some oil on that old dick well P.B. Herman got caught in a movie theater yeah that's not yeah that's great you know but it was a jerky it was a jerky theater that's what I'm saying yes it was a jerky theater no yes it was it's an adult theater you're not supposed to jerk off you're not supposed to jerk you guys saying jerk theater means that's like that's what that's what they were like going to the beach and saying don't swim yeah what are you doing it's a jerky theater yeah you go to the theater playing movies that's

everyone it is right you're tricking us into jerking but everyone watches the screen nobody looks at each other and you just go there and jerking the dick off what's sociopath watches porn just like a lot with a lot of people around a lot of people do that is that like a thing yeah there's people that don't jerk off you guys want to go oh to a jerk off there we would have to sit calling it that it's a jerky theater we would have to sit each other first of all I need to go in a Tybeck suit I'm not putting my body anywhere near those chairs well I'm gonna wear pants that I'm never gonna wear again do they still have those I don't know I think there's one on a story of Boulevard no they close that one down damn there's gotta be a jerky theater somewhere

like jerky theater yeah jerky theater that sounds like a delicious snack yeah um I would sounds like a halal dish let's go just to experience it I would go yeah no I wouldn't go that's weird exactly that's why we go all right I guess we have to do a standing on a studio the video it goes for the craft for the craft all wear trench coats and sunglasses and derby hats I just look like the undertaker yeah my thing is like I just I like if I saw someone else jerking off I'll be mad I'd be very confused and very petrified yeah and you also can't get out of the aisle until he comes oh no imagine like yo you're in no man's land at that point yeah I'm sitting in the aisle and I gotta be in the back row there can't be anyone behind me because if I

feel a fucking oh yeah I can't I can't if there's something that hits me in the back of the head I'm getting upset yeah and then I'll burn that place to the ground is there snacks at an adult movie theater I would not trust the popcorn I'll say that all about yeah butter or man butter cutter you know I'm saying imagine you had to buy a ticket to go watch porn in a theater that's what it used to be in like the 80s when people would go watch it makes sense back then though because now we're like okay we watch porn like whatever it's so accessible but like it wasn't back in the day we could pull a fucking porn on our phone right now yeah any kind too yeah peeing people would have to wait to see you know scarlet thrice in invasion of the fucking ass it's like dude I can't wait for

I can't wait for invasion of the ass three that's gonna be yo I a three is gonna be sick yeah awesome one and two were just unbelievable I really like where they went with two but I gotta be honest scarlet thrice's character development I'm not a big fan of the director of three but I'm optimistic about it was a cliffhanger too we don't know if you cream pie or not so we're gonna see dude one time I was watching I was watching one of those channel like one of those channels that I don't know what it was like near the movie channels and you know how like the porn is kind of near the movie channels if you go further further enough yeah skin a man so I was watching a movie and I think I was just like clicking around and this thing comes up and I'm like this

looks low budget enough to be a porn but I'm not exactly sure so I was like I wasn't entertained by it but I was just kind of just like all right I'm gonna find out what this is what's going on I'm like is this an actual movie because and it was a good 15 minutes of movie and then all of a sudden people were you know there was a big thick veiny thing going around and I was like oh yeah this is this is what it is yeah yeah back at night we we you know excuse me recently not recently it was a while ago someone on our tv had watched porn there's two people listen listen in this house listen someone on our tv watched porn and we were like what the fuck is this and it was wild wild sex it was the sex edition of wild wild west

first of all fire that was yes was there a duel I didn't get that far is there a spider in it but the lead you think hold on real quick I don't I don't hear this yeah do you think there's ever been a gay porno that was wild wild west where it was two guys back to back condoms oh and then they take three steps and then boom that first of all if it's not I'm a great director copyright this shit yeah we're not putting this out yeah wait until you at least patent that yeah everybody yeah that's a great idea that's great IP that could be called the twink standoff okay so you're watching porn on your tv and blamed it on someone else go ahead no no no so Beck and I turned it on because we were like let's see how awful this is lead character 70 year old guy short stocky

fat cock though right we didn't even see it got like 30 minutes through no sex guy had an awful cough that's it fuck off yo he was like oh this could be some wild wild Sam no it was fucking awful I mean he was in character man they had some stuff back there did one party you get horny at no point in time that I ever even feel a wiggle was there a tit I don't remember seeing any titties I don't remember seeing any bitties or or ass or dick or balls how do you feel watching sex scenes but you're significant other I'm okay with it but I know but like that's not I basically watch it and I'm like waiting for like the you know like you know like how's it going you know you ever do this no I'm not in fucking high school anymore no but like you're looking down like oh man they're

fucking that could be us you could be having sex when I was in high school I used to do that like I'd be like wow they're really they're okay at sex just okay they're not even spitting on each other fuck that's not even like nasty enough for me yeah but what were you saying I've had a lot of sex you do get a thought though yeah it's like when you're watching sex with your sick and like sex scenes with your significant other you know the thoughts in both of your heads like why don't we just do this you know wait so what I think it's ours I don't think they think wait I don't know like this is hard I don't know I need to go back okay I got wild wild sex yep um so you watch 30 minutes into this porn movie not a single not a single pump so you just watched a bad wild west

movie basically yeah now where how and what's going on I'm looking it up here's the thing look it up you don't have to say who it was I just want to know did you get to the bottom of it uh we did and I'll tell you all fair what happened but it was uh I have to be honest disappointing I expect better from porn porn I guess has gotten soft I thought you were saying in like the act of getting put did they pay did they no it was it was like so how did you know because it's like when you go in like your menu it's like you can rewatch something that you've watched recently so like for instance if we you know put on you know like Becca watches like keeping up the Kardashians or whatever yeah it'll say like oh you've been watching keeping up the

Kardashians you want to continue and it said you've been watching while you've been watching while sex all right so is this the movie the sheriff of Diablo city is as crooked as they come he has a plan to wrongfully accuse a woman of murder and have her hanged after an impromptu rescue for women become both outlaws and unlikely friends in a race against time let me see the lead character that sounds like a lesbian movie that might be the lead character first of all this is on prime they're stepping their game yeah Amazon Prime's got it all now um now you gotta watch it Amazon Prime better buy this podcast if they're buying that fucking piece of shit if Amazon buys this podcast uh quitting my job they're buying that piece of shit movie that has no sense

i would need to see i would need to see a trailer i would need to see the old guy because that wasn't the old guy i was talking about there was like another older god no yeah that's a that's a young boy that's a young stallion yeah not who i'm thinking of you don't remember Diablo city don't remember it was like you all you saw was the prospector yeah exactly you saw the old prospector no pickle shoes yeah no cinnamon he had a single thing of coal like swipe to get to his face he had one of those like pickaxe yeah yeah i don't know that's it oh cinnamon and gravy oh cinnamon and gravy bring your bring your wagon over here was he trying to have sex with women i would hope so at least women um whose idea was it to turn it on frank it was it was a joint effort oh yeah

oh same time you guys said it same time it was a joint we were let's watch it i was like we both said like who the fuck two three who the fuck and then we were like i might have been me where i was like let's see how bad this is it was 100 percent you and maybe if it was what's gonna happen maybe you are the one who watched it in the first that's what i'm trying to get you it is not it is not me oh wild wild sex it is not me i guarantee frank you made the return to porn no with the midwest if i were to make the return to porn it would not be with uh uh softcore porn from skin and max so you're saying it would be the opposite it would be some hard i'm going if i listen punch my mouth yeah i want to see like people like square dancing and then just fucking

beating each other up and then fucking oh so you like a little violence but also a little back story well you need the romance square dancing kind of romantic i mean it depends if it's certain people like gangs in new york like that that type of thing yeah yeah yeah like there will be blood like i will suck your milkshake i will suck your and then your ass wow there will be calm there will be calm wow dude this is two ideas we're just thrown away listen all i know is if a lot of money at stake here boys we might be honest something here yeah amazon primes are also by those ideas why haven't we gotten into porn gotten inside of it yeah like say they got us studios are doing a lot of content me and jose listen here's the thing right i know you watched the wild wild sex

and i'm not gonna let you skip over this i know you did it yeah okay then you brought it up like it was a mistake yeah oh someone okay go ahead his house go ahead go ahead there was a ghost yeah that hit someone sat on the remote first of all why i bet you he said he sat on the remote is ectoplasm not come that's what you said ectoplasm i think that's ghost goo wait wait go Danny that's ghost goo that's what ectoplasm is i know what ghost goo is i've seen ghost busters one and two yeah wait you didn't see the all-female casted one i did and it was not good yeah it was really it wasn't even what's her name who's really funny christen wigg christen wigg i love christen wigg something about mr carthy uh k macanon k macanon yeah yeah it wasn't good

that movie sucked ass you know it's a bad movie that was a good movie wild wild sex no uh fucking um oh shit what's that like girls night scurril johansen oh like somebody dies right yeah wild night i don't know one wild night it's like a it's like a bachelor party like basically girls trip but white what yeah i don't like the stripper dies or something yeah something like that yeah something like it's with like her but i didn't think it like it got really bad reviews and i watched it i was like really the plot is like ridiculous but like okay it's like one of those movies it's a throw away yeah yeah i didn't see that way it's like hangover meets weekend at bernie's did you see a scarlet johansen titty i think i i think you saw some

side bub i need side boob made me horny when i was 12 do what what side boob doesn't do it dude give me full on nips what i'll get horny from aside did you see sama hayek's tits bro yeah that was the side move that was full fucking in your face melon those things were insane those were pomelos in tu cara those were inside boobs what does that mean those those pomelos a giant melon and in your face those things were outrageous yeah sama hayek looks how old is she like 40 something she's at least 70 she looks 29 beautiful woman ah still got it still got it still got what the fuck was that it's fucking josh i thought it was i could not i just swear to god i thought it was a bird a bird you think i just got birds around here do you remember he doesn't

believe remember when i had birds yeah and then one killed the other one or so yeah one died not killed it but one died when i was there i remember molly oh you were there yeah i remember i don't remember it i remember because i remember your sister weeping yeah dude don't we do you remember their names no damn it but what m's and you i remember you also had marty's you had lizards at one point yes um you had lizards you had birds you had dogs that's it did you have pets i did what'd you have cat i had a cat i had iguanas my cat was named misty you had iguanas i do i had two iguanas at misty gate your cat ate iguanas ate the iguanas aren't they the same size no not like a big iguana like they were like the little guys like this i'm in iguan two i remember i woke

iguanas iguan iguan jays i um i woke up at like 2am to uh my mom screaming and like what happened i come down the stairs and my cat was and she killed both iguanas i love how cats kill shit i love it wait wait wait she didn't eat them she is she full on eight like not like devoured ripped them up she ripped them ripped them up yeah what were their names you woke up at 2am and there was ripped up a go to my mom screaming because my cat was ripping up the fucking iguana and there was ripped up a guana on your fucking living room floor yeah yep dude cats suck i love cats really they have a cat now that's fire no i don't i want a lot you want a cat i want a cat real bad what would you name a cat um is that something cute like like jibbies or something jibbies

yeah it's a cute name jibbies i hate i gotta be honest with you wolf i hate people that name their pet something like human like oh oh charlie oh oh elie like give it a fun name like fucking you know mr spinglesworth or you know that's yeah for sure first of all dogs respond to their names yeah so hey cats do not mr spinglesworth they'll fucking respond to that too cats definitely respond i feel like they don't the exact opposite if i go to someone's house i'm like oh come here mr bojangles when people put mr all right mr like all right they're a doctor mr it's a cat lady mr is a little much but jibbers name it's something name it's something you wouldn't name a human why why because that's fucking what the rule of pets are you're a scrooge i'm not a scrooge you are

you guys are oh oh this is oh i was just hanging out with elie all right i'll ask who is elie oh my dog like fuck you but if you but if i said to you and you're like oh man mr mr jangles is giving me a fucking all right listen jingle jangles giving me a fucking hard time and i'm like yo are you hanging out with an elf what the fuck are you talking i can't come in today jibbers is sick the mr or i missus i'll give you that the mr or mrs is a little stupid but a little but if like if you're like oh this is my cat fucking diggy dong that's cute that's funny yeah because a cat doesn't need its name all only thing that works this is a dog only thing that works where cat he's that's how you get a cat they should all be named you know every cat's name is first of all you

you ever own a cat yeah dude i owned one for 20 years i named it griffy after 10 griffin june that's awesome that's a that's a cute name my cats my dogs named after elie manning same shit that's awful i honestly think if you name your pet after like a like a like something you would name a human it's like you fuck you frank you want to name them like a name of a fairy yeah dude your cat's name was a x-man character damn right it was and it was a good mystique mystique mystique eight d iguanas yeah that's cute oh sticky that's exactly what i used to say sticky oh mystique my mom used to call her sticky lu and i used to call her um uh sticky stanky and the other thing too is with dogs you never call them by their real names anyway yes you do no you don't

rogue no that's my dog's name yeah but rogue is a you call them roe i call her rogue roe roe roe yeah yeah see you don't call it roe roe bear dodo yeah see roe giberra i don't that's yeah what the you hear that right that was an animal josh blues knows oh okay there's a cat you have a cat in your fucking yeah right i'd kill a cat right now if you kill a cat i kill you i'm putting you know don't fuck with cats you saw that don't fuck with kit get the people i'm a little worried about you're like kind of defensive cats here yeah this is kind of scary you'd might you'd rather have a cat than a dog no i never said that all right why don't you want a dog then i do want a dog so why don't you say cat first i because in my current situation i can

have a cat you can't have a doge can't have a dog are you just not allowed to have a we're not allowed our landlord's won't let us why is that oh because i think but don't cats piss in the house listen and it stinks listen stinkies a fucking a litter box i know if there's not pretty litter in it's gross yeah i like that sponsor the show um i i i but i want a dog i'm not saying i want one more than the other but i want a dog what kind of dog i want i want a big motherfucker like a fucking i want a saipur nard oh just like fucking a saipur nard or a pit bull not pit bull sorry i always say that a bulldog like a real fun no they have like sleep apnea when they're like zero years old that's fine get it whatever dog you want people always tell you not to get these dogs is like they

have health problems my cousin's bulldog let's be like 14 years old dude although i did meet a bulldog that could only sleep when it bit on a crumbled up sock because it couldn't breathe yeah no but they do have a lot of health problems yeah their noses are like inside out or some shit right that poor existence is being i don't live like that there's such little fucking dominix dog that like pug that thing sucks well i think can't breathe because that dog has been kicked and booted around and throw down the stairs by dominik probably uh that's made up but that's a big claim i know jesus let's joke around yeah he's putting that dog in a lot thanks for ruining our comment section on this episode but you know you should really talk to your friend oh yeah i really ruined it when

joey's saying like people throw babies in dumpsters hey that's a fact i'm not saying i would throw a baby in a dumpster that's the statistic he said names and people throw dogs down the stairs i was joking about dominik sorry dominik i'm just glad we can clear the air dominik yo come on it's like bro come on bro come on i got enough my wedding's coming out i can't what are you doing good good guy is mystique still alive no dead mouth cancer so what she had mouth cancer is she fucking smoking cigarettes at night what happened i don't know how she got it she got mouth cancer how old is she uh when she died she was she was about nine or uh nine or ten that's good enough right nine ten around then yeah i had a 20-year-old

cat that's miserable at that point yeah what does a 20-year-old cat do well up until like her last four months of life she was fine and then she like just couldn't move anymore and then like we were just like yeah we we gotta put yeah it was the same it got like aggressive like it literally that cancer thing came on like super super aggressive that's what happened to her too she just fucking started dying like yo in three months she was like yeah i'm dead yeah it was we had to put our we had to buy some out yeah peace nothing works anymore we had to put uh mystique down and when we did it we were all there and like literally right before they put the needle in her she just looked at us and meowed and i was like god oh why did you even fucking tell me that

you know that's a curse well i can't that explains the last 10 years of my life explains a lot you can't trust cats i love cats you can't trust cats can't even live around babies i'm telling you right now you can't no you can't leave him you can't leave him i'm dead serious right and i really don't want to talk i actually don't want to talk about this but i just need to say this yes sir if i was in that room and my pet looked at me before they were gonna insert a needle and made a sound i'm going to jail for beating this poor veterinarian why because now it's off it wasn't no no no it wasn't don't look at me and meow wait you try to say something the vet didn't like he fixed it the vet didn't like it wasn't like a painful process it like

i know but i can't i can't let go can't cut him off mid-sentence cat's talking to you oh god he's got something to say what if the cat was gonna like start speaking english or something you know he's like wait don't do this i started from big shits and we ended on cat use the nature did your cat like have like that gangster cat cry like uh it's not like ram it's like no no no no see my cat had a fucking cry like that so she was dying my cat she was going i don't know i don't know if you remember and i was like dad please let's take this thing the doctor got rid of it this fucking poor thing is dying put the thing in the laundry basket i don't know if you remember my cat was

fucking horny yeah your cat used to fuck this my no it didn't fuck but it was like so horny your cat never had kittens my cat is a fucking my cat we got it i think we got it um my cat grippy was fucking horny really dude she would come home with fucking pregnant all the time with fucking saggy bellies saggy ass come home yeah she was out there with an indoor cat never an outdoor cat oh you guys were just letting it grippy would go out and just get fucked yo you're basically that is crazy to me people like grippy was a girl grippy was a girl yeah people have outdoor cats like you're just hoping that it comes back at that point like you're just like yeah maybe yeah but the cat it's about the food in the shelter that's why they come back yeah so they use you you fucking sick freak

yeah but i'm letting a cat actually live in its natural environment outside and i'm feeding it a house cat's natural environment is not outside yeah but if that's if you domesticated they've been domesticated for the last 200 years yeah that's not true like vietnam they got cats running wild yeah oh what's do with vietnam guys you ever see that yeah you ever see that vice about china no i was watching at the other night how they cook dogs they have a dog meat festival i listen to me i don't want it i don't want any dogs to die but if i've eaten dog in my life and i didn't know about it and i liked it i guess i like dog would you eat a dog now no like i would have to look in its eyes like i would like before you eat it i would have to like look in its eyes and if i said yes kill it

then i'll eat it but like i know i wouldn't be able to do that what what is that what did you just say none of that made sense yes it does does that mean when you have i can look at a dog in the eyes and say i will eat this kill it right in front of me and be okay to eat it then i deserved to eat it but i that was gladiator were you giving the thumbs down to dogs in the street you're walking fitness like nah chill kill it wait when have you ever done that to literally any animal never right but that it's it's dogs that was going to farms i'm looking at cows right in the face and be like this one not this one well you know who does that shoot this you know what sick freak does that who pete putting it out there world what does he do pete every year with his friends

goes to a farm and i don't think he's calling the slaughter yes he is i don't think that you crying listen to me no i know that like pete every year or i don't know if he's done it but for many years in a row him and his friends would go upstate pick a cow and literally get like like 400 pounds of meat from this damn thing yeah but they don't go out and slaughter it they don't take the fucking gun and kill it right then and there but like they basically go that one yeah but don't they kill them with like what Javier Bardam uses the fucking yeah the black kid from it with the fucking little oh yeah that's a spike yeah they shoot him in the head i would hope so yeah dude whatever is the quickest way to kill him but you say that you would just walk up and just be like

if i just one if look there are certain animals that are not okay to eat dogs cats dogs giraffe if i can look one if i can i need a giraffe i would too but yeah i would if i i want to eat that neck if i could look one in the eye if i can look one in the eye there's no way you could look a giraffe in the eye no way you'd have to be on a big ladder that's fine yeah it happened and last of all raise me up you have to be in a cherry picker dude kill him look that but like if i can look at an animal in the eye and say kill it then i deserve to eat it except for like cows and stuff like there's too many of them yeah and chickens too there's you heard you heard josh shirking off like that dude that's crazy man do you think at some point uh like all like

meat products will be gone do you think they'll stay i think they'll fizzle out eventually right i think i think it's possible it's it's also very possible that like obviously there's this whole like pc movement and there's this whole like uh vegan movement that it's also very possible that it gets to a point where it's like okay well fuck this i'm afraid because when you know like with like beef and stuff like that if you look back when regulations were not as strict against beef like that's when it was like it was like 30 beef and like 70 other shit i'm afraid that that's what's gonna happen with like this like these impossible burgers and shit like what is it do we really know what's in there yet you know what i mean it's impossible to know it's impossible

to know that's why they had one of those things by the way yeah no fire they're good yeah they're really good they're fucking horrendous no i've not had the one from burger king i had one from like a pub that like it was really really good so not the one we're talking about well and and impossible burger it's been called impossible burger in other ways i guess burger king like this is impossible that this is a burger yeah it's like is that why they call it that yeah that's interesting it's pretty good i'd like to try one not right now i feel like those those things are like the vapes of the food industry like he has a jewel like people like people are gonna understand like those aren't healthy like 10 years from now yeah and they're still not going to do anything

about it when their friends tell them to stop right yeah we just getting person we want to save his life personal want to save this kid's life yo honestly i want to go back to cows for a second because i saw this show at my mom's house and she's like do you know who dr poll is no doctor poll poll no so it's a show on tv and it's this like vet and he just goes around like saves all these people's like farm animals and like this and that and my mom and my sister like you've got to watch this show it's amazing you'd love it because you love animals and like blah blah blah right so i'm like okay so i sit down we're watching an episode literally two seconds into this episode they have a cow cornered under a like a house because it was under a house

and it's whole fucking ass urethra and whatever is hanging out of its ass and they have to corner it so they can pick up all of this urethra and it's a cow it's a big ureth and all the shit and shove it back in the cow's ass oh my god i was like ma what the fuck is this what is your mom watching i don't know what is your mom watch when you're not there urethra shit wild wild sex yeah she was the one she came to my place put on wild wild sex and then left my mom's on into what midwest stuff but if there's apparently an animal's urethra she's in listen i it's weird like i conceived like pictures of like because like we we have people that like send like weird like we see it on twitter too like people like dying and shit like that like

i can see that more than i can see like animals like that happening too is that weird what no like he thinks that like we've been we've been desensitized we've been desensitized humans humans dying yeah if i if i see a human die it still bothers me it bothers me i'm not saying it doesn't but like for some reason it bothers me more than animal it bothers me on a human watch seeing a human die bothers me on a different in a different part of my brain than it does an animal like an animal i feel like like they're supposed to die like a sensitive way of like no no no what are you talking no i feel like i with animals i feel like oh my god like i feel so bad and i'm like whatever when a human dies it like scares me and if it's like i feel bad in a different way like it's not

like a sensitive caring like oh my god that's so bad and like mmm you know it's like oh fuck you know like scares yeah it's like they internalize it more we're at the top of the chain so like we just scares me because it's like oh like that's scary but like with an animal i feel bad yeah i'm with you on that it'd be crazy if like there was something out there that hunted us still though i mean there are what white people yeah i mean it's true there are yeah the world doesn't want to admit it that's true it's true it's a joke everyone take it easy i know i'm ruining the comment section every time i say something we're out of two people out one after white people that's your your toast i'm on it this new

me is 2020 oh yeah i gotta or is it 2019 it's 2020 what kind of they don't know we're recording 2020 it could be yeah no it is what this could be april this could be february this could be no you said it snowed before you ruined it that could definitely be april snowed in april before yeah it does that now and like i think 98 let me ask you a question do you think that 98 snow april snow 98 because it was like a famous snow a Yankee uh game and you had a pitch yeah and you pedicabin cleveland i think or something like that but go ahead what were you gonna say i was gonna say like i feel like now the summer doesn't start until like june like april may used to be like nice and then it would get hot in like like uh not like may it would get like hot but now

i feel like it's taking longer so that even in september it's still like hot so you think there's going to be a change of like the winter is going to be eventually it could touch june dude we have two seasons now there's no such thing as spring and fall anymore no we have false they're just faster they're faster it's okay so it's we have two and three quarters of seasons you know what i mean it's like yeah you have you have winter which is basically from fucking mid november until all the way in like april yeah and then you have summer from like july june and july and august it's like may is spring kind of like half of may is spring and then it's hot and then yeah there's like fall for like a second it's almost as if like the climate

is changing oh my god frankie are you making a political statement i actually hurt my neck are you okay yeah no i i hate the fucking winter i literally would rather die than live in winter that's not true i know but hyperbole is funny sometimes hyperbole hyperbole dude so how does this go what is this i like this new thing that we got how does this go oh we actually have questions we're 55 minutes in no i don't want these questions no yeah we're gonna question sorry the vape yeah yeah that's that jewel that's that's that jewel i watched the show on netflix called broken yeah and one of the episodes was on vaping yeah and these little fucking white women yeah little girls in high school uh-huh in millford connecticut great

we're just like yeah i fucking love it everyone does it i wish i did it but like whatever i'm young did they die no all right they i did see a thing where they interviewed a bunch of kids and one of the kids was like yeah my lung my lung collapsed well it's because it's not that like all vaping is bad for you even though it is but it's like this stuff that's like made off of like the street corner that you buy at a fucking bodega where it's like horny goat weed in a pond yeah that's the shit that's bad for you yeah you're spitting all over this table by the way yeah my table i like my table my table it's cool it's cool what's cool this was your idea right was it yeah yes oh my god don't do this what was funny because

you know what my idea was painting that wall do you remember no it's just hanging up remember that yeah i just want to let you guys know i i appreciate you guys so much for being the sole reason that i have any sort of success in life thank you so much he clearly forgets where he started making videos it was me and him i know and he clearly forgets he clearly and then he was like hey i need one more spanish friend one more spanish friend because another spanish you know all of our friends are white yeah except for like marco but he's like the fake spanish yeah he's fake you know and then you were like you had to go to college and i i never did it so they were like he was like i need a spanish person asap yeah also carlos is spanish another thing about

who's carlos he's a freelance editor he's like fuck is carlo he's actually columbian oh that's right let's go in oh he actually said he wanted to meet you because you were columbian which i found to be weird because i'm like how does that why does anyone want to meet me being columbian no not like yeah exactly for being columbian oh he's columbian need to meet need to meet that guy why yeah just be like i'm columbian you go cool awesome i'll ask him where you're from he actually said he actually said he's like i can't believe he's never been to columbia i'm like well he can't just go yeah yeah you've never been no i've never been i've never been outside the country really yeah yeah yeah you want to go somewhere neither is this guy well no wait you went to canada that's that's the

country that's the country um i i really there are some places outside the country i really want to like uh tokyo london okay london i'd go to tokyo too far too far i really want to go to london we should go to london for an nfl game i'm down i do that those tickets are mega yeah but i'm sure we could try to find like 70 you take it i would i really but like i also like 35 frankie it's really like it's weird 82 beck is like why do you want to go to another big city it's i don't know i just want to go to experience london what do you mean a vacation you only go to like some the rolling hills of ireland well yeah that's what she said she's like i want to go to the amalfi coast i'm like okay cool i want to go to a city she's like why you

grew up in new york and i'm like yeah but it's cool to see other cities yeah i'd like to see london tokyo uh bari uh other places you know like i want to go i'd like to go to say baria uh bari which one are you saying bari bari i want to go to nise where is that it's in france oh uh i'd like to go to australia like when it's safe you know no that's a real thing i know but i know it's a little hot okay i mean it's it's it's hot like hot boy no oh okay like it's yeah it's not like temperature yeah it's not a fire joke no it's not a fire why would i joke about that i mean there's animals and people dying and yeah it wasn't property go help out if you can if it's still going on i don't know when this is gonna get released trying to save it i feel bad

i don't know about you know i didn't want to come off as being insensitive because i'm not it's fucking wild you're saying it's hot boy right yeah you did say it was hot boy top boy oh top boy no he didn't know i said hot boy yeah hot boy isn't it like the block is hot you know what i mean it's a lot going on i fully get that and i and i respect what you're where you're coming from but you're full of shit no i'm not full of shit yeah you are no no no no yeah you are yeah you are you are i stand by um all right cool we're gonna we're gonna do these questions before we get out of here oh okay we have a set of questions oh we're done we're not done we're not done we have questions all right ask them talk your curling because it pops back out did it yeah where is it

i don't know at some point when you're talking about where is it it's right there this one wow this guy comes up yeah where are you going with that thing all right i got it am i good came out of the back yeah um okay first question oh okay what's the worst job you've ever had oh worst job i ever had someone asked me this last night um i would i mean i would say i didn't hate it but target i've been pretty lucky with my jobs i've liked them all when we were younger you didn't have like weird jobs i mean i worked at the baseball place where we played baseball at home jack and i liked that that was fun you worked there yeah i did like grounds keeping and like sometimes like worked in like the little like shed to like sell hot dogs made the Spanish

guy keep the grounds huh it's real nice wait you sold hot dogs i didn't know that i wanted to do it i used to get free hot dogs all time i would love a free hot dog but i haven't had a hot dog in forever me either me neither i would love a hot dog what do you like in your hot dogs i've if i go to like a specialty spot because you know they have the specialty yeah specialty yeah like like gutter no because they only have like four things no like i want to get something that has like some sort of meat on it like mac and cheese mac and cheese and bacon on a hot dog i'll fuck that i'm really not fucking i was gonna say you're gonna fuck that i was gonna say i'll fuck it up unbelievably amazing yeah see i'm a i like sauerkraut i like sauerkraut i like bushes

baked beans on there with sauerkraut i do like baked beans i do like baked beans not a big kraut beans beans the good for your heart the more you eat them the way you fuck you coleslaw guy i like coleslaw you like coleslaw i don't like coleslaw i like coleslaw coleslaw you could keep that i'd rather have sauerkraut than than slaw i'd rather i'll take it i'm happy with you there i like cabbage i've had sauerkraut one time in my life and i was young so i'd like to try it again it's good i mean it's an acquired taste is it sour uh it's no because it's not sour kraut it's just it's sauer like it comes from like Germany it's like it's like earthy tasting yeah earthy it's it's vinegary it's got like a spicy taste not a vinegar guy so then you might

not like it yeah maybe not but we'll see what about horseradish you like horseradish i love horseradish and and like not like fucking people put like horseradish yeah no not like that it has to be a it has to be a dash you guys ever have the peter luger steak sauce yes oh doggie that is some good stuff that got horseradish in it you want to hear a hot take yes sir i'd rather have any not no i i don't like a one i don't like anyone either i think i don't think you should put anything on a steak yeah well a good steak doesn't need anything he's right yeah maybe a little salt and like olive oil well i don't count that i don't count that i'm talking about a sauce yeah olive oil yeah no i agree with you thank you a good steak doesn't need anything all right uh

next question the sheets that are currently on your bed how long have they been there uh about a year but like they've been washed multiple talking about ones last time you washed oh our jaws dropped just now i was like i was like all right you're admitting that that's cool but let's have a conversation no uh i i would say they've been watched maybe like two three weeks ago okay all right okay all right i don't know about that um who does the laundry in your house i refuse to let anyone do my laundry but me becca does hers i do mine why i i it's a weird thing about me you just get like like you get like you just don't like people handling your clothes i don't like people handling my clothes because you poop your

pants no you have skid marks yeah no because when i was younger my dad fucked up my clothes because he put bleach in like a thing with that i had remember i had a purple respect jordan shirt i don't but okay and that makes a lot of sense he messed it up because he put bleach in it and i from then on i was like yo i will learn to do my laundry and i'll never let anyone else so this whole weird thing started with a purple respect shirt listen i loved that shirt clearly i loved it so now for the rest of your life yeah i don't like anyone i just i i also like i'm not going to ask her to do my laundry like i'll do it it's mine that would make more sense than this purple shirt it's also in you know conjunction i don't think there's anything

you live in the same house i don't think there's any wrong anything wrong with like it's it's not like i don't think there's anything wrong with it like if she asked me to do her laundry i'd be super fine with it i don't care i think it should be implied that we're doing laundry we're doing laundry yeah it's a team effort i have a lot of laundry i have a lot of laundry like i need to do it like so what like once every two three days my point is like when you go grocery shopping you don't just go grocery shopping for yourself no you go for the house yeah grocery shopping you go to his shop so he's going to shop no i don't want to go i just i i don't know i just don't want to ask her to do my laundry and i don't like anyone you're so fuck you're such a feminist what's the

next question yeah um frank this next question no one's been able to do okay but i have faith that you can do it yeah if he's probably the only person that i trust enough to get this question right yeah and i hope you don't let me down yeah because if i was a betting man don't do this yeah and someone had a gun to my head i would bet that you could do this to save my life all right ready okay how would you dispose of the body of a baby no uh no no no no no i'm just kidding i mean laundry bag is definitely not the answer i'm gonna go back to that but no last this is the actual question is this the last question no no it's not oh we have tons more um name five kid rock songs oh ball with the ball yeah um uh uh cowboy i'm a cowboy baby um

fuck yeah dude uh dude this is impossible i had his album too what was it called like country stank or something like that um i had his funny story actually i had his cd don't know because and the cd was just his middle thing doing this and my mom was pissed i can't i can't name five kid rock songs i'm sorry guys not even all summer long oh yeah that all summer long one um who wrote that chorus we were trying funny things we were smoking funny things making love out to that leg to our favorite song yeah uh yeah i can't those are the three i can name and that's it that song sucks yo socks to be a whiskey at the matter not but it's it's kind of a slapper like it kind of if i hear that song out i'll enjoy it i'm not gonna listen to it by myself do you ever and this is a

real question and i'm sorry to bring this up but like was there ever music that you enjoyed more when you were like drunk like if there's certain music if i hear sober i'm like fuck this i hear it drunk i'm like it's the greatest thing i've ever heard yeah that's how classic rock started white songs yeah white journey you know yeah those are those songs because i hear them i'm like i hate this yeah but then when i'm drunk i'm like coming out of my cage yeah i haven't listened to the killers in like my house in a long time but yeah we were natural all i wanted to do was hear the killer yeah and boy did they play them yeah did they yeah killers in nashville yeah dude they played everything there they had books where these people would let you venmo them they would do whatever

you want yeah any any suck they would say whatever you want and they would play a song yo i live in a house right now that likes country music and i want to blow my fucking brain what kind of country music though my exact brown band like you know fucking luke brine i don't like you know generally jopor i hate i this might get us into trouble but upstate new york fuck you guys you're you don't live in the south yeah all right stop listening to fucking toby kieth all right you guys live in new york dude everybody down south would be like you're not from the country you know who's like that yankies you're yanks you know who's like that i went to school a lot of kids from like connecticut listen i understand there's farmland in connecticut

but you're from connecticut the whitest state in the world besides maybe vermont yeah and it's like they're coming in they're like you know like i'm a fucking country don't go down and they were like girls that were like cowboy boots to like fucking like ah grow up to restaurants but yeah we got some buyers coming out this time again i'm like dude if you're from anywhere north of the carolinas and you call yourself a southern like bell or a country boy pop that arsenic 2000 just swallow it swallow that bitch how do you still know how you become more southern when you go to north northern new york it doesn't make any sense i love my sister has a friend who i love so much this kid is fucking hurting in there yeah my sister is a friend who i love so much like a

sister but she's like a super like country bale now and i'm like what the fuck is wrong with you come on you're from soria i live in pekepsi all the all the country music that i like country fans hate like i like the best stadium the stadium rock yeah like florida georgia line love them i only listen to old i don't listen to the only the only country i listen to i guess daniel listens to the old country music that sounds like the guy recorded it like in an actual valley i would say like echoes like he was recorded it like in a valley and yelled it through a mountain beckers it's true beckers uh brother-in-law whenever this comes out maybe my brother-in-law he like one night was like yo i've been listening to this awesome music and he

puts it on it's like what the fuck it's like you like you feel that it's all i guess like johnny cash is a little country literature country no they're not there's a country rock cash cash is though um who do people tell you you look like see i love this a lot i love this question but i hate it now because i know what you're gonna say i mean i've gotten obviously i've gotten jayson memoa no i literally never had no well that was it that was a couple years ago when it was a little slimmer i looked at idris um idris elba i've got who said that i've gotten kit herrington kit herrington i've got john snow yeah seth ron's yeah seth ron's i've gotten that is true i've also gotten leonardo capri on willful wall street what the fuck i've gotten zack effron

before frankie you've never gotten any of these no i have bread bread pit and troi no that one i that wasn't troi which which film was it it was um after uh read after burning yes that's what it was yeah yeah i've i've been told i have a very malleable face i look like a lot of celebrities all right i agree i've also by who like bruce valance i've gotten before yes um yes trying to think there are other people too redda from parks and rec you got i've got no that come on grow up i've got you got that pat from snl you remember pat yes snl um so a couple good amount of people yeah i'm not gonna get to this you look like none of these people joey's upset i will say the seth ron's when you did the costume really good thank you it was you know he he wouldn't talk and would

just walk like seth ron's when we were like walking anywhere we were walking through the fucking streets of of manhattan and he was just like you know he walked on purpose i commit that's a halloween costume isn't a costume it's a fucking identity for the day it's a lifestyle yeah okay but uh what's something you have to do every day like no poop or pee pee or like that's outside of a normal routine yeah um like like i got it like i have to play a video game a day really yeah i'd have it if you don't i like i get if i don't it like becomes like intensified like the following day i need to play longer okay i love video games i love video games and if i don't like i don't know i just feel weird like i don't i'm not talking like hours i'm saying just like a little bit maybe a

match or two a little decompression period uh what celebrity do you want to punch in the face who um what celebrity do i want to punch in the face uh i'm gonna stick to males just to not get myself in trouble no go female no um i'm gonna get us again yeah uh careful oh yeah we got you want to get shadow man yeah i got um i would say males i want to put male celebrities i want to punch in the face um probably pauli shore just i wouldn't mind hitting him uh definitely logan paul and jake paul they might beat me up yeah logan paul take that i don't know they might but it's okay i'm okay with it but you still get your shot yeah absolutely um i'll give you one more i'll say who else annoys the fucking gabba ghoul out of me uh uh kid that played aj from sopranos

fuck him robert robert eiler fuck him yeah fuck you but like you did a good job but also fuck you robert eiler i'm only like through i'm in the third season of sopranos right now don't understand this character arc whatsoever there's none it just makes no sense of aj oh just wait uh okay i mean there's not really a kid just just he's fucking sucks dude it's like it and it also like happened out of nowhere where like he was a normal person and then all sudden and then i'm like what is what is here i'm gonna explain this listen robbie if you ever want to come on my show that actually i'd your mother welcome who do you hate me to explain that who do you hate more janice or aj i fucking hate janice i hate janish aj i like fucking bitch i think because it hurts it

hurts tony more that his son sucks then it does his sister sucks yeah because he's known his whole life his sister sucks yeah he knows that janish uh is a you know a hua blown rotis but i like janice more from a character standpoint i like janice because she has more of an effect on the show i feel like aj and now they're like i don't know what to do just right i mean i think it adds it adds a level of you know kind of like depression and reality the fact that this guy is a piece of shit and his son won't be i just feel like the i just i don't know at least where i'm at right now it just feels like horrible right like he's just like i don't know the world doesn't matter and i'm like the fuck are you taught like it's kind of early 2000 yeah you know it's all right ready

yes he gets so much worse look how aj fucking sucks yeah he's not very good okay ready uh meadow kind of sucks though yeah she's meadow uh write yourself one to ten in terms of everything looks ten wait looks all right no you said everything i say ten everything i say ten uh but like looks i think i'm a solid like give me decimals 6.8 6.8 6.9 7.1 in that general area i give you 7.1 because you have some height yeah thank you all right i'll say some height i'll say 7.1 yeah i think 7.1 but if we start to add in like personality humor i think you go up to a absolute 10 absolutely okay without questions fuck i told becca i was like i'm the catch here whoa

i think that's hard to do instead of coming off like i'd like to think i'm a 10 but like i know like everyone should carry themselves as a 10 if i asked you guys to rate me it would definitely not be a 10 overall no i would give you around i'm a russian judge though you're a russian judge yeah you are you are hard i remember we once argued over uh like the looks of like a celebrity and you were like dude they're like a solid two yeah no because you like who you like and then you just like you're you're ridiculous with it me yeah me what what vanilla joe is calling me ridiculous with what i don't like is that that's literally next question what is that what the hell are you talking about next you tried to fit that in but it didn't work maybe it didn't get

bested it's all right get ahead um what game what game show would you have the best chance on oh this was 2006 i'd say stump the Schwab uh get the fuck out of dude 2006 i knew a lot of shit that game was awesome dude that game was impossible uh what game show uh i don't i i don't think any if i'm being honest like really jeopardy it's like fucking impossible yeah that's not and there's like wheel of fortune maybe wheel of fortune what about family feud no because i i tend to think i overthink things you know this i tend to overthink where it's like what's your favorite color i'd be like well i would say red but the world might be you know they're in a white stage right now like i i i overthink shit like that you say the world was in a white stage yeah it's been

in a white stage for the last 2020 years i love it did you just yeah that was that was yeah dude i just that was weird you just inhaled the holy ghost yeah so jesus that was that was tough but yeah i don't i don't think i'd be really good at any game shows okay okay i'll remember that wait are you getting is just like a test like are you going no no i'm not going on a game wish if you did and you know we do we do well password or something password yeah yeah i do like secret word like those ones back from like the 50s yeah i think i do like a catchphrase sort of yeah yeah or like those like minute to win at games you know those ones where it's like you need to fucking put as many balls in your mouth and spit them out like i could do that

yeah you know what i mean i think you'd be good at that i think you'd be good at bobbing for apples uh i've never tried i've never been bobbing for anything we should bob i'd bob for an apple i would too i would too a game i struggled to see how that would be hard just push it against and then just bring it out water in there you could drown dog well you can't well that's the thing we have to make a rule that you can't push it against the side you have to just bite it that's a i got a big mouth i don't know if i'd be able to do that let's see yours go open go open i'm in his throat yeah that's nothing by the way joey do i have to i didn't say you had to swallow i thought you wanted me to deep no i didn't say

that's a good one i thought you wanted me to deep no i didn't see it let's see it did you swallow piece of the foam yeah a little bit to my throat this is fake this is fake everyone i hope we all know that yeah it's just taste funny it's a bit yeah because that's been in 14 people's mouths all right last question no excuse that's an old mic what does that mean i'm jamming it in people's throat i don't know what you guys do here when i'm out here god damn right you don't i don't know how you knew that uh last question danie the bit's over danie's forever all right last question yes sir are you happy today uh like today specifically or like overall today because today i didn't sleep well last night you know today is one day i'm

hungry i'm tired uh i would say on a spectrum because happiness is a spectrum okay go ahead uh i would say on a scale of five i'd say i'm about like a three did you say a scale of five scale of five okay on a scale of five go ahead i'd say i'm like a 3.8 okay pretty happy you'd buy that on amazon yeah things are could be better things can always be better i'm very happy i got great friends i got a good job great family this sounds higher than a 3.8 to be honest with you you know and uh and a great and a great go ahead podcast yes but other things nothing other you have a great support group friend group you have a great sanagato studios free

feeling you have a great fee fee uh not a fiat fion fion oh there you go all right god damn either my fion i don't i don't know when this is coming out i really don't so fion say oh it's coming out in february oh so fion say yeah yeah future wife yeah and future step son there you go in one month's time i'm gonna be a husband a stepfather and an uncle bang bang boom why did it take so long for me to get that i don't know man i thought you were kidding don't don't let her see this oh she's gonna see it i was trying to save you i'm a kind of clip yeah and i'm not gonna post it i'm just gonna send it to her oh yeah i'm gonna get in trouble yeah i did between this and and all the white people stuff she's white you know she's very white

she's super white told people that dom throws his dog down the stairs i'm sending that to dom he goes up to the north and kills an animal i already know dom's dom's response is go this kid he's never thought before he spoke for the last 15 years yeah probably um anyway uh frank thanks for coming on the show thank you guys i love i love being here so uh can you uh you know tell us where the people can find you anything you're working on absolutely uh as you guys i mean as you guys know as you guys might know danie and i co-host the stank podcast uh every week friday's seven a.m it drops youtube spotify soundcloud and apple podcasts uh it's movies television video games general stupidity and then sometimes sex a lot of time sex yeah we recently

talked about extreme love where people he has a kink where he turns his wife into his daughter and then fuck sir we'll talk we'll talk uh but yeah you can please go check out stank podcast that's stank podcast on uh you know twitter uh instagram and then patreon.com slash stank podcast and then you can find me specifically there we go f albert's eight zero eight five on twitter and on twitch if you ever want to come hang with me play video games joey plays with me sometimes danie plays with me sometimes yummy oh and then uh the frank albert's on instagram and cameo please god almighty help me i need help for my wedding these fucking things are expensive dude that was a lot of plug in but awesome guys go check out frank and uh

yeah that is all we'll see you guys next time