The Basement Yard - The Extra Yard - Nick Colletti

Episode Date: January 30, 2020

On this episode, we have stand-up comedian, actor and Vine OG Nick Colleti. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the Extra Yard, my name is Nick Coletti and I'm here with Joe Santagato and Danny Lopriore. Wow, did you have a future in radio? It's insane. Now we're going back to the hits. Now we're going back to the hits. In middle school we had this, like he was like the dean or something and he would put on a voice like that.

He was like, I think he was like a seven foot tall, definitely could ball, right? And he would make the announcements and he would go and he would talk about the school dances and he would go, and you know what, Lewis Armstrong party don't stop, till ten o'clock. It's like, all right, bro. It's just started at eight and ended at ten. I had a black principal too and he was cool as shit. Dr. Baker used to do the moonwalk and he had a megaphone all the time.

But he had a megaphone all the time and did a moonwalk. Yeah, yeah. He'd be like, what's up man? And just do the moonwalk and just like talk about his fucking megaphone at the same time. I wish I was making that story up. I'm not. Great guy. Also gay, later on I found out and he actually died.

Wow. Yeah. You got anything else? You want to answer the story? Jesus. In a car accident and they couldn't save him. He got pinned between a tree and a truck. Jesus Christ.

No, I made that part up. That's for science. Oh fuck. That's from the movie science. Oh yeah. Hill Gibson was a priest. Right? Yeah, yeah.

He's like, let me talk to my fucking separate wife. He's not a priest. In science? Yeah. I've never seen him. I was too afraid. Really? A lot of people.

Still too afraid. I remember the part when the alien walks out of the corn field. That part fucked me up. Yeah, that part's fucked up. I'm not even going to lie. That part scared the shit out of me. I was like nine or something. Field of dreams fucking alien coming out of there.

Dude, how do people live next to like corn stalks like that? Right? Where the fuck that is? I would be afraid to go in there. All you do is hear them all night. Like a fucking raccoon runs through that. Sways a little bit. You see like a face.

You're like, all right. Guess we got to move. We got to pick up and get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Out of Iowa. So anyway, I'm surrounded by Vine stars today. We actually prefer the word Vine boys. Vine boys.

Veebies. We're Veebies. Yeah, I'm sorry. I remember that because you were here. It's cool. Just don't let it happen again. We were both verified on there, so like I was way more important on there. Now I'm just an unverified, thick bitch.

That was Pam getting the verification badge. Hell yeah. I was like, all right. Cool. I feel like now it's not as cool though. No, it's cool. It's still not cool. It is.

It's kind of lost its meaning though because everyone's verified. You see someone like 400 followers and it's like, oh, you like worked at fucking People Magazine. Are we doing this right now? What? You guys are just verified boys. I'm just thinking the grass is always greener. The grass is always bluer.

Yeah. I guess so. I want to eat that blue grass. Kentucky bluegrass. I need it. It's not as cool. I hate that they call it Kentucky bluegrass. That shit's green.

Right? That's true. What is that? It's like who fucking named it? Is it bluegrass? Some colorblind dickhead called it bluegrass. Is it bluegrass like a genre of music? Yes.

It is that too. So maybe it's that. What came first, right? Yeah. What do you have? Chicken or the egg. We got hip hop grass out there. I mean, I don't make the fucking rolls yet.

Grass or the blue. But yeah, man. Just fucking vine boys. Do you remember the first vine you ever made? Yeah. I do too. It was Lee. Yeah.

I'll tell mine first. Okay. So I made a five-year-old boy named Jebediah. That was off the bat. It was very hot. Yeah. Yeah. Five-year-old boy Jebediah from the country who was not very smart.

And it was borderline offensive. It was. It was. I would say that if you reenacted it, it would probably be wildly offensive. Yeah. It was like, I'm Jebediah and I'm five. And this is my mom. And my mom didn't know I was filming her and she got mad.

Then I was like, yeah, I'm just going to post this on the internet. The biggest mistake I ever made was putting my real name on there. You ever feel like that? Yeah. Sometimes. Wait, why? Because I would have just loved to have a... Because if it didn't work out, I was fucked because all my content was about sucking titties

and ass. Like, I couldn't get a real job. They Googled me. I was fucked. Yeah. Yeah. I feel that way kind of, but then I'm just like, all right, I guess I got to go hard with my name then.

Yeah. That's what happened to me. Yeah. There's no turning back. What was your first vine? I used to work at a car dealership and it was like just... This kid had like this egg. You know those eggs like you throw out of the wall and it like slides down like fake

egg. Yeah. I just like... Because I didn't really get the concept of it yet. So I was like made a bunch of quick cuts and I was just kind of like fucking around. It was really stupid. It wasn't funny at all. You straddle this like great line between like, like artistically weird bro comedy and

just like just didn't make any sense. Yeah. But for some reason, it just made sense. So that's why I loved your content so much. Like mine is straightforward. It's like, yeah, man. I was a big fan. Thanks man.

We exchanged... Big fan of you. We exchanged like a few DMs at one point, but they were always like, we never got anywhere. Yeah. We never got anywhere. You were trying to get into your life. Oh yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, people always think that I'm like this. Like they're like, oh, he's like cool guying me, but I'm just like really... I just get anxious. I'm like, I don't know what to say. Like I hope this person doesn't think I'm like a weird... No, no, no. As an anxious person myself, I know what it's like to just like, all right. So like, I was like, oh, I guess Nick's like too cool for me and me and my, I'm like...

I don't know what to say to him. This man... Because you could see bubbles at one point. I saw bubbles. I was like, oh, this is about to be dope. And then they just disappeared. And I was like... I was like, oh, it's on me.

But um... Out of all like, because you have like a bunch of like, like famous ass vines. Like, which is the one that people usually come up to you about? Because I'm assuming people see you and they're just like, oh dude, like Kyle? Yeah, Kyle and Sudd, and yeah, it's pretty much it. Yeah, I can only imagine. As far as Vine goes, yeah. Yeah.

Like so, well, you have a show at Carolinas tonight, which is sold out. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you. We will be coming. We will be in attendance. We're gonna kick that door down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be a good time.

Thanks. Do you have people when you do live shows be like, do Kyle? Yeah. Really? Oh, definitely. And I actually, at the beginning of the show, I start out with like, I'm like, yo, I know because some people are actually there to just hear that stupid shit. Like, I did this college show in Rhode Island and like after the show, this girl DM me and

she was like, I was really sad you didn't say Kyle. Like, that's the only reason I came. So I was like, fuck, like, so at the beginning of the show, I'm like, all right, let's get it out of the way. Like, what do you guys want to fucking hear? That's smart. I mean, it's smart. It's smart.

It's still kind of like, I don't know. Because it's like, it's part of that. But they go nuts. Oh, yeah. I'm like, Sudd, dude. You fucking said it. You said it. So I got it.

That's my time. I'll see you guys later, man. Just walk out. You honestly could probably sell out a room just saying Kyle for like 30 minutes. Different variations. Yeah. Just like different Kyle material. Just walk out.

What the fuck is up? And then everyone's like, oh, yeah, they go down for it. It's like kind of crazy. Yeah. I mean, those those fucking Sudd, dude. Vines were fucking awesome. Thanks, man. Yeah, they were fucking hilarious.

Because like you want to know what it is. It's like when you're in it and obviously you're an influencer too. When you're in it and like you feel like, all right, I have this huge following. Like I'm part of like this fucking vine elite, whatever the fuck you want to call it. And it's good when you find somebody that's up there with you that you actually like their content. You know, because there's because there's a lot of like, dude, vine was fucking shit. There were so many people that were bad.

Yeah. Terrible. Terrible. There was like eight people I feel like that you're like, okay, these dudes. There were. Yeah, there was like the elite, like the fucking Lele Ponzes, like people that are just like upper echelon. But then there's like the cool, like us.

We were the cool kids. We were the cool kids. Me, you. Casey was it? Because Casey came on late. Yeah. Casey was in there. Casey came on late.

My brother. I don't remember Casey from Vine. You never saw like, what's up, bitch? I did see that. That's one of my favorite videos. That one I definitely don't. Oh. Yeah.

He had some heaters. He had some heaters and he had and he danced on there too a little bit. Also, I didn't even notice that was Casey until afterwards, like when he started blowing up on Instagram, then I was like, oh, shit, that's from that Vine that I saw, you know? Yeah. He's kind of always been hustling that like bro, like fuck boy kind of character. I love it when he like bites his living shit. It's so fucking good.

He rolls his shoulder. He just nails it. Yeah. Yeah. So you guys link up a lot out there, right? Yeah. We're homies. Yeah.

He's a good dude. We bone. Played Xbox with him. He's hilarious in real life. Yeah. He's just text game. He's a little work up. Yeah.

He needs some major work in the tech. Well, he's from NorCal. Yeah. And it's just a different vibe. Like we're from the East Coast. It's very like, hey, we're talking now. Like I'm up. I'm ready to go.

He's like, oh yeah, man. Like I'll see you in an hour maybe. Yeah. It's very loose, which is, it's just different. Yeah. He's like, yeah, you want to play card? I was like, yeah. He's like, all right, let's do it.

25 minutes later. He's like, yeah, you on? I was like, dude, I've been off 25 minutes. Yeah. He told me the other day we were supposed to meet up and he's like, y'all, I'm in Venice. And I'm like, where, dude? Like, where? You want me to just like roam around and scream your name?

He's like, where are you, dude? I'm in Venice, man. Oh man. So I'm just happy that you guys have had like a store crossover. Mm-hmm. Happy that you guys crossed over because I made that mistake. I didn't come on until later. I didn't realize that, you know, you kind of have to do all platforms kind of.

Yeah. And I was like, yo, Vine's going to be here forever. Yeah. Then next week they shut down. I thought that too. That was so crazy, though, because I feel like it was still at a point where it was super popular. It's not like it like died out.

Like I feel like it just got shut down. I mean, it was like dying out. And then all those people like fucking, who's the kid? Rudy Mancuso? Yeah. And like Mark Johnson. He's like taking the whole squad. We're leaving.

Fuck you guys. They all moved into that one like apartment building. 1600 Vine in LA. Yeah. It's literally on Vine. Hollywood and Vine. It's this huge apartment that most of them all still fucking live there. It's like ancestral almost.

They're like, hey, you want to make a video? Yeah. Let's make a video. They don't make video. It's just like video mail. Yeah. I don't know what it was, but back then I was so like, I guess I was, I don't know. But I was, I just remember seeing like all these people in a Vine together and they're

all tagging each other and they're not even like saying anything. Right. Like they're in it just being like, and then they're tagged and it's like they reposted. I'm like, yo, what the fuck is going on right now? Like standard like iMovie sound effects and shit. It's fucking smart. I mean, they, they fucking nailed it. Yeah.

They figured it out. But the content was just like, hey dude, your mom left your pizza rolls in the oven too long. Fuck. Yeah. Explosions. I think you were around during this time. Were you around yet?

Like maybe during like the, the, the Vine, the mass cleansing of Vine. Yeah. Yeah. But here's the other problem with that too. There's no crossover appeal to that. It was only big on that app. So I made all this content that just went nowhere because it's like, I don't understand this. Like you're making fun of Rudy Mancuse.

So like who cares? You know what I mean? Like I used to make fun of Curtis LaPore too. And he, I don't think he ever like pressed me about it, but you have to make fun of people. Right. That's the best thing about it. And it's so easy with those, those people are just like such easy targets because there's content that just asks.

Yeah. It's not witty. It's not like, I mean, Or it's like, you know, just even be weird, you know, cause sometimes it's like, yeah, I didn't even understand that, but it was like edited and well put together. I have no idea what it means, but it's something. But with them, it's like, all right, take my Jordans and run down the street and I'm going to chase you.

Yeah. It's like, yeah, what is that? It's like, oh cool. It's like, yeah. Or it was like, like you said, it would be like, yo, like when you're, when you're late for school and I'm like, dude, you guys are 35. Yeah. Seriously.

That's the worst one. You know what I'm saying? It's like, come on dude. What are you doing here? You're homework is doing, you fucking forget it, man. When your bae is mad. Yeah. Okay.

That's, that's enough. Yeah. I had a couple of people call me and reach out to me. Daystorm reached out to me. Like I hope all these people are doing well. I think they're doing well. Good for them. But fuck them.

But like, yeah. No, but it's like, it's like, yeah, it's like, if you can't handle me, like, yeah, you guys are going to have a hard time doing whatever it is. And at the end of the day, it's comedy. And like part of comedy is like cutting up on each other. Like if you can't fucking take it, then like, why are you here? Why are you putting yourself out there? Like people are not going to say like nice things.

Yeah. Like people didn't take it seriously because I gained like a hundred thousand followers in like a night. Ooh. Really? Yeah. Which one blew it up for you? It was, I made fun of all those people, of Brody Smith's sale vines where you could

throw a Frisbee to sale and like they were real videos. And then I did one where I made fun of Leanne V. I was using slow motion. And I think it was Leanne V. And then that one like blew up and then everyone was coming and then I just posted one like, yo, I'm doing everyone was coming. Everyone was coming. Everyone came on me. Everyone came on me. And then I put a post up.

I was like, yo, I'm doing, I'm going off at like 10 o'clock because I would do them live. Oh, you just do them in real time, like all after one and tagged the people who I was doing. Yeah. So then like some of them got mad. That's so corny though. Why would you get mad?

Thin skin. Thin skin. But that's what I've learned. Like from doing like, because I've been doing like YouTube shit since like 2011. And I've made the mistake of like going to these YouTube events like in the beginning of when I was doing it and just meeting all these people. I'm like, yo, these people are just so fucking wrapped up in this shit. It's insane.

They take it. Yeah, they take it really seriously. And it's like, it's fine taking it seriously from like a business standpoint because yeah, it's a legitimate job and like, you know, blah, blah, blah, but like, dude, don't take yourself so seriously to the point where you're walking around like your fucking Meryl Streep. Yeah. Or some shit emotionally invested in your like they're walking out of a hotel. Someone who's like has 20,000 subscribers on YouTube is walking out of a hotel with

a hoodie up and like glasses. Oh my God. Oh, and I'm like, yo, no one gives a shit. No one gives a fuck. Nobody cares who you are. Yeah. Like do relax. Oh my God.

There's also two, if you got a Nick Coletti follow, you didn't follow a lot of people. So if you were in there, you were like, it was like a sub genre, like a very powerful sub genre of people. It was the Nick Coletti stamp of approval. Yeah, I was like, all right. I was like, I made it. I made it. I made it.

Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, all right, I'm in this one. I said, I'm good. I just honestly, I just get annoyed with like, look, even like these days, like Instagram, like I mute fucking everybody I follow because I don't want to look at people's stupid shit that they do all day. Yeah.

Yeah. I got to use the mute button a little more. I have mad people muted. And it's just, I love the mute button because it's so much easier than unfollowing and then having that conversation. Right. No, I unfollowed this one girl and she was like, what's the deal? Like what's up?

And I was like, I immediately refollowed her. I was like, sorry. It was a mistake. I was like, sorry. I scrolled and followed people by accident. People literally press you if you unfollow them. It's like, dude, it's a little scary. I would never do that.

Right? Yeah. It's like, I don't know. You aren't interesting to me. I'm sorry, bro. Do you want me to be honest with you? Yeah. I think your life is trash.

Yeah. It's cool. Like your braids, man. Yeah. Someone that I've never, like I haven't talked to in like two years. You unfollow them and they're like, what's up? I'm like, I don't even like know who you are. Yeah.

Right? I don't know who you as a person. I don't know who you, I don't know your girlfriend. Yeah. You're married now. What the fuck, dude? You had a child? Fuck that child.

How's that? I don't want to see that. Fuck that child. Shut up. Don't fuck your kids. Yeah. Don't fuck your kids. But fuck out, like.

Do you guys edit these? No. No, I don't know. We just, yeah. Unless something crazy happens. Yeah. Which it usually doesn't. No, it usually doesn't.

But you also, you did music too. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to get back into it. Trying to get back into it. I love rapping, dude. If you ever want to rap, I'll send you some track. I make beats. We should make a song together because it's about time I made some real music in here.

I've got so many beats on deck. He gets on me all the time because I'm just leaving like potential millions of dollars. You're too talented, dude. I'm telling him, like there's people on fucking Twitter like, yo, if just put out a song, that's 30 seconds and I'll buy it. Literally. I'm like, dude, do it, dude. Yeah, yeah.

Cause you can sing and rap. Yeah. Dude, and I've heard him like legitimately make, in like 40 minutes, right? We like ordered food and the food shows up and I'm like, yo, dude, the food's here. And like, I'm eating and I finish eating and then I go in there and he still didn't come out. I'm like, yo, what's the deal? And then he plays the song.

New heat. And it was fire. And he's like, it wasn't about like titties or anything like that. I was singing. I was like, bro. Yeah. Binds over. Can't get over it.

It took away my verify bag. So I'm saying. But yeah, man, it's like when Vine went away, it was kind of cool because then like everyone was like, yo man, like thank you so much for all this stuff. And I was like, yo, if everyone could just like Venmo me a dollar. Right? You know what I'm saying? I have a million dollars.

What's up? Please bless me. But do you remember where do you were when you found out it was done? Yeah. I was on tour with getter when it like finally was over and honestly didn't even really care at the time. You're getting another bag at that point. Right.

I didn't really process it. But then I was like, fuck. It was just so fun. Like it was just, it was like fun. Like the community was fun. I've tried TikTok. It's just not the same. Me too.

I tried it. Just kind of weird. And people. People miss that shit. Like. Dude, I've missed it so much. It's like a cult, like a real cult. Like people like will pay, would pay blood to get back.

They would. And then this fucking guy Dom that Don Hoffman or whatever made it was like, yo, I'm coming back V2. And it was like, yo, we have to push back. I was like, dude. Yeah. Never mind. Never mind.

Sitting out the beta. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. Can you teach Vine to you? Yeah. If they just came up, if they gave us the code, that's all we need because the looping thing, whatever they did, like it looped, it kind of would like fuck it up sometimes. Remember that?

Yeah. Like it would like cut it out at just the right time. It was like magic almost. Because it was like, and then you had like people that like figured it out, which always made me laugh. Like they'd be like, it's actually 6.3 seconds. So we have to cut it down into that to make a perfect loop. I'm like, dude, just fucking record it.

Just make the Vine, dude. There was a time actually I did this thing. It was like in New York and there's not a lot of people who do like social media from New York. Yeah. So I was like called in to do this thing. It was like a big gap. And it was me.

Tight. That is me. This fucking, it was the gap. It was the biggest bag in the whole world. No, but it was me. Marcus Johns, the Asian dude who like screams in public. I forget his name. Oh, he's holy.

I love that guy. Q York. Q Park. Q Park. Yeah. He was always a nice guy. Was he the one he got on the bull and Wall Street? Yeah.

He was like dancing and shit? Yeah. He walked through like Harlem and like a fucking male romper. He's a really nice guy. You know what's crazy too? I met him. He was like the most reserved and nice guy I've ever met in my life. I'm like, yo, this guy is so calm, but he's like a psycho.

Yeah. He goes out there and just like screams at McDonald's. Screams off. Yeah. But I remember specifically like we were filming something and like, we like filmed it and it was totally fine. And then Marcus Johns was like, like an actual director and I was like, damn dude, like, and he was just like, oh, just not enough natural light.

And I was at the time. I was like, yeah, I don't even know what the fuck that means. Yeah. Like, I don't know what that means. It got open a window. Oh, this was for Vine? It was for a Vine. Okay.

It was a six second Vine. And he was like, just not enough natural light. I hated that. If it's funny. That's all that matters. Like all that stupid shit, like they were big, like people were big into that. Like, yo, like it's got to be like done perfect. I was like, yo, bro, like, I'll fucking go home.

I'll fucking little boy this shit and bounce like literally, like, I'm not going to stay here because the sun's going down and we're not getting the right light. Magic hour. We got 30 minutes, guys. Come on. Let's go. It's golden hour. It's golden hour.

Come on. It's kind of killed that app though. Once people started collabing and like they were in all their shit and then they, I mean, they figured it out. Like, yo, let's just like, if we all rewind our shit, we'll all be on like the pop page. Pop page. Pop page. Yeah.

When you, when you hit pop page, you felt good. You did. That came out as like a notification, right? It's like, you made the popular page. Yeah. I think so. I know. You made editor's choice.

I don't know. That happened so many times. Yeah. Yeah. Editor's choice. We, we were in like, they, they actually sent us to Miami for like this music week thing and they, they gave us a hundred twenty five dollar gift cards. This is really, this is the best you guys can do.

Uh, what do you mean? Just like a visa. Oh, like, oh, okay. I was like, okay. Those like, you know, hopefuls. Outback states. They didn't even charge the hotel room to this, but, um, I mean, it was tight. Yeah.

I mean, free trip to Miami is not bad. Wait, if we're doing editor's choice. Oh, we got to go on jet skis too. Yeah. And we were with Chris Melburger. Yeah. Melburger. Shout out Chris Melburger.

Shout out Melburger. I would love to have Melburger on here. Melburger is nasty at Fortnite. I popped into his Twitter, Twitch stream once and I was like, dude, I don't know how all of these people are just good at video games. Yeah. What did this suck? I suck.

I suck so bad. I'm not like terrible, but I see these people that are like, I've never knew they were so good at video, like Fortnite. They're so good. Like I was playing with Casey and like the first game, like, I don't know what he was doing. He's nasty. I was like, yeah, it's good.

And like, if you were talking a little bit, yeah, he said like, yeah, I just won. He never changed like his voice at all. It was just like, yeah, yeah, it's dope. I was like, you have 23 kills. I was like, I have four. He's really good. He plays a lot of Rocket League. Yeah.

He's always on Rocket League. Oh, is that like soccer or game kind of or something? Yeah. Cars. Yeah. He's fucking good at Rocket League, dude. That sure looks fun. You play COD though, right?

Yeah, I play a little bit. Everyone's just, yeah, everyone's just so good now. It almost makes it like not even fun to play. You just drop into Fortnite. You're like dead in like two seconds. They're good too. Like him, his brother. I'm not that good though.

Yeah. But like you get double digit kills usually every round. Like I'm full going four in Toronto. Yeah. Yeah. Danny's like bad. Like we'll be like, oh God, it's so close. And then we'll lose.

Like, oh, fuck what happened? And then the score comes up. 140. You're 0 and 16. Yeah, my bad. My bad. My bad, guys. Next time.

Sit in a fucking corner, Danny. Do you think, um, do you think another vine will come along? I think TikTok has replaced it, right? It was musically. TikTok's cool, but it's not the same. Yeah. It's not the same, dude. It's not the same.

I think it's called Bite, right? Have you heard about that? Yeah, yeah. I've heard rumors. I've heard rumors. I've heard rumors. Oh, he's got his ear to the ground. I don't know if it's a true rumor, but.

Bite's supposed to be like Bite too. And what, it's like a six second loop thing? I think so. Hopefully. Yeah, I need more money. I would love to just like. Me too. Just go into that.

There was a lot of money in Vine, I feel like. Yeah, there was. And thankfully, if you got on the app early, you would be successful. Then once celebrities started doing it, it slowed down a little bit. Well, like Kevin Hart just got a TikTok. Yeah. Did he? It's like, all right.

They're probably paying for the rest of us, Kevin. And they paid a bunch of people to do that. Because I remember like. The Migos made one too. They were like, yo, we can't sell TikTok. They were like, sign up for TikTok. Yeah. Oh yeah, they have like a commercial.

How much did you guys get paid for this? I think I sent you that when it came out. I was like, yo, they're spending money on TikTok. He's like, everybody sign up. Yeah. Like Quavo is like, everybody sign up. Yeah. Sign up.

Get a skirt. I was like, all right, I'll sign up. I'll sign up. How many people was making them too? Yeah. All the rappers are making TikToks. It's kind of scary. They were definitely.

I can't say Migos is demographic being like, all right, cool. That's. Lip sync. Yeah. I guess it's all like. Yeah. I mean, who. I think like what?

White guys are like a huge demographic in hip hop. Yeah. White. They're the biggest. 18 year old guys. Any concert you go to, it's mostly all white kids. Yeah. They love the new school like shit.

Dude, remember when we went to Travis Scott? Yeah. The whole mindset was white. Yeah. And they were girls. Yeah. Mostly girls and white dudes going fucking boys. Yeah.

It was insane. I get those goosebumps. Yeah. They were going crazy. They hit my parents. The sicko mode hit. My God. The fucking wave.

The whites. The whitest scream. And I was like, wow. They were sweater vest. I tried to show. Sweater. Yeah. They were like, oh my God, is Drake going to come out?

He's talking to me, man. Yeah. He's talking to me. He's talking to you. It resonates. And then there was a part where this is how I really saw how white it was. There was a part where Travis runs from one stage to the other. He's like, everyone get the fuck out of the way.

But it's like auto tune. He's like, get the fuck out of the way. Like he separates everybody. And they bring the house lights up a little bit. And I was like, damn, dude, that's just mad white people. I just had this epiphany. I was like, that's who buys tickets. Yeah.

Yeah. So he got a cash in on those white boys. The fuck it. Yeah. Why not? Why not? That's the thing. Like for you, when you sell out a show, we're flex.

Humble brag. Humble brag. Do you just tried to be a young millennial? Yeah. Yeah. I tried. I tried. It doesn't work.

I'm 30. Do you like that your audience addresses your old stuff or are you kind of just like more towards like, I'm just trying. I'm doing new shit here. Yeah. I definitely I try to cater to the old school fans who like know me from the internet shit. Like I do a little bit of the internet shit. Like, and then I go into like my, cause this is like my first, this is like my first impression

of right, people are getting their first impression of me like comedically like stand up like traditionally. So I, I just talk about myself. I'm like, Hey guys, like, I know you guys know me from the internet. I'm going to say a little bit of this shit. And then we're going to get into like just like my life. So you guys like know me a little better. Right. Yeah.

I mean, I, if I was up there for an hour saying internet jokes. I wouldn't feel good about that. Like, I'm like, okay, this is like, cause if I saw that show, I'd be like this fucking blizz. Yeah. I don't want to hear sub dude for a fucking hour. Yeah. But, um, people do though. It's crazy.

Yeah. And I'm, I'm thankful for the following. Like it's cool that I can sell the shows, but at the same time I still feel like there's a part of me that's like, I don't deserve this yet. Like I want to get better at comedy. I want to make sure the show is really good. Like it's great that I can sell these shows out. Like it's really cool.

But I want to be known as like Nick Coletti, the fucking comedian. Like he's hilarious. Yeah. Traditional comedy. Not like, oh, he can sell out a show because he has people know him on the internet. Right. And dude, that's, that's honestly the way to, the way to do it because I mean, with my experience with like comedians in New York city, like a lot of them are very spiteful

people. Oh, totally. And they hate people. Yeah. Do like internet shit. And I had to go. Which I get. I get that too.

I totally get it. Right. They're like, yo, I'm doing these clubs every single night. But I got to go up and the show sold out play. Yeah. They get all pissed off. Yeah. Sorry.

Yeah. It's like, I'm just going to headline this fucking historical fucking place. No big deal. I get it though. Like a lot of these dudes have been doing it for like years and years and I'm like, dude, like you're better than me. I fucking know that. I'm, I almost feel like I want to like apologize and be like, dude, I'm sorry for what you're

about to see. Yeah. But when did you make the transition? You're like, you know what? I'm going to start doing stand up comedy now. I told my manager and my booking agent, um, I was like, yo, I want to do stand up. So they started giving me like the five minute slots, um, flappers, comedies, plays in Burbank. I did that a couple of times.

And then they were like, all right, we got you a show in Bray, it's an hour long. So I had to like. What? Yeah. I had to like figure out. You did five minute spots and then did an hour. Right. I had never, I skipped like the 15, the 30 straight to the fucking hour and I've been doing that

since August. So I've only been doing this for a couple of months. That's crazy. It is. Yeah. And then I tell them, I tell the, like the dudes, these veterans, like who are like going up before me that and that is like the fucking cherry on top. They're like, wow.

Fuck this. Fuck this. Yeah. Literally fuck this dude. Like when I used to work at Carol, and like we would have like influencers come in from time to time and like all like the New York underbelly of comedians are always like, like they would literally come. They open and then they would like go to another club to like, yeah, no, they always leave.

Like I always go back to the green room and they're never there. Yeah. They're like, all right, cool. Yeah. Whatever. Fuck you. Yeah. So which I get.

I'm not like, I'm not like so tone deaf that I'm like, why don't they like me? Like, I'm Niccoletti, like I totally get it. But yeah. But at some point it's like, all right, dude, like what are you supposed to apologize though? Right. What am I supposed to do for you? Yeah. You know, like let's Lincoln build pussy.

Yeah. Let's get together or do something like let's do that. Yeah. There's definitely a lot of hate and resentment, which there is everyone's fucking miserable in comedy. It's like, it's ridiculous. Totally. Especially in New York City.

I always, I always say this. I feel like the comedians in New York City, not, I mean, all of them obviously, but the ones that aren't like, haven't made it and have been doing it for so many years or whatever, they have this resentment because they're just like, it's like, it's an old school way of thinking. Oh yeah. And then like, I always hear like, man, I wish I got on the internet earlier. I'm like, dude, no one fucking didn't let you do that.

Like you have more than, you can still do it. Yeah. Like there's still time. They were too proud to do that. Yeah. It's like, it's not fucking going anywhere. So you're only shooting yourself in the foot. It's like.

That's the other thing too. It's like, I had to start over. Mm hmm. You know, like, you know, I had to, you know, leech off, you know, I'm saying, but I, but I did it. No, I get it. Suck my way to the top. Yeah.

But you know, it's something I had to do. You got to. Yeah. I had like 11,000 followers or something when I came here and now I'm like close to 200,000 on Insta. On Insta. Yeah. Stuff.

Insta is like the one that everyone's always talking about. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause like another thing too, it's like, I didn't really know how to use social media, which I learned a lot, like working with him, like I never realized how important it really was. Oh, it's like money.

Yeah. Like I had no idea. So like, I had fucking six, 700,000 followers on Vine and I had like 7,000 on Instagram. It just doesn't make sense. Cause I didn't see it. Right. Well, Instagram only recently really started to matter, right? Yeah.

I would say like in the past, like, cause like at first it was just people were really just like taking pictures of like their fucking dog or like a salad. But now it's like, hey, drink my fucking energy booster and save 15% with my code. Yeah. Yeah. That's the other thing is we do love our sponsors here on the show. Drink the energy juice. Yeah.

Yeah. Drink the energy juice through your butt. Danny's butt juice. Up with my butt juice coming out, dropping 2020. It's carbonated. Yeah. No calories. It's a part of my EP comes with it too.

It's back. It's a mystery box. It's a mystery box. Get a couple. We're getting a Kickstarter. So like Kickstarter. So yeah. Yeah.

We're starting one up. Go fund me. I always feel like, like we'll be out still and it's crazy to me how big let me suck your titties still is like this, like that, then like, um, like, you know, they had like those Twitter moments of the decade, something like they had this shit posted on there and like, yeah, it popped up. That shit was crazy. I got lost.

I got lost. I got lost. What are we talking about now? I don't know. Something about my success, but I don't care anymore. No, let's get back into it. Let's get back into it. Yeah.

Let's get back into it. Yeah. Chest hair. Oh, he's got some brown sugar. I love it. I love that. I love that. Yeah.

So like people, like we'll be out somewhere and like people just like we'll walk by and be like, yo, let me suck your titties. It's great though. It does feel. I love it. I love it. I love it. The first time that happened when I was with you, it was so fucking funny.

We were like in bedside and some guy on a bike just like was riding, he just goes, yo, let me suck your titties. And then like I didn't even process in my head because I was like, yo, what the fuck is going on? Like, you see, I thought he was talking to some girl or something. And then this is like, yo, thanks man. And I was like, oh, shit, it's so funny. It feels good.

It's the best. I get a little chubby. Like I grow like 0.2 inches every time it happens. Like, and when, when you're with a girl and it happens, dude, oh, yeah, well, like my fiance hates it. My God. Yeah. My God.

Sorry. Yeah, I guess. Oh my shit. Cool. Yeah, it's cool. It's humbling. Can you tell that? Can you tell that falling out of the window store down here?

Oh yeah. Yeah. It was like, it involves a female. It's a great story. Yeah. I was a, with a female in the bathroom at, it was like all the Viner, it was like a Viner. Like J, I think J was there.

Jay Cyrus. Chris might have been there. Charlie Castro. Remember him? Yeah. He was there. He's the pimp of life, by the way. He's the man.

Like, he would always just walk in with like eight girls. Bomb shells. I'm like, dude, what is the, he's like, he's just one of those guys. Is this the dude with the tattoos? Mm-hmm. Super huge modded vape. Yeah. Like blowing fat clouds.

He's like, yeah, that's Stephanie, Rebecca, yeah, whatever. Angel, I think. This one, I don't know. She just followed us in here. Barbie. But it was like one of those parties like, who are some other people? Rachel Ettinger was there. Rachel Ettinger.

Wow. A couple other people. Maybe, I don't think Evan Breen was there yet. Love, Breen. It was one of those little vine parties. We ordered some Domino's Pizza. I got a little hammered. One thing led to another.

I was in the bathroom. Sexual relations. Doing some stuff. Getting sucked? Woo! I can't, I plead the fifth. All right. I plead the fifth.

That means getting sucked. Come on, dawg. Getting sucked up. My man's. Yeah. But I don't know what happened. I think I had like whiskey dick or something. I think I was like really embarrassed.

So I was like, uh, I don't know what to do. So I opened the window up. I was like hammered and climbed out the window. And I like fell out of the window. Well, she was in the bathroom? Yeah. Wait, she just watched you climb? I guess so.

I was like, I gotta just dip out of here. You know, and you're like, yeah. I was like, I don't know what's going on. I just gotta leave. And then I'm like, I don't know how I didn't really hurt myself. That's what I'm saying. Did you even assess how high you were? No.

I made it out unscathed. And then everyone was laughing at me and my one friend picked me up. And I was like, oh, you're on the ground. Yeah. It was fucked up. You know, like you came as soon as you hit the pavement. Yeah. I was like, finally.

It worked. I do this thing where I have to jump out of window to come. So don't get weirded out. Yeah. I have to escape. Just bear with me. Bear with me. It was really good, by the way.

Yeah. I'm about to come. So I'll see you in a little bit. That was like at the beat. Remember when everyone moved to LA, though? Yeah. That was like when that, it was like five years, five or six, maybe even like seven years ago. When did you decide to make the jump to go out there?

I never went. I was always really fascinated with Los Angeles. I really just thought it was a cool city. It was more of that for me, other than like, oh, this is a business opportunity. Yeah. So I was like, I was like, fuck it. Thank you. I was like, mom, dad, I'm moving out of LA, basically.

How'd they take it? They were really, I think, concerned. Not like concerned like, oh, Nick's like fucking crazy. Like, oh, how is he going to like eat food? Right. Like they were like, yeah, they were scared, which is totally understandable. Did you like save up money to go? You're like, I actually did a fucking go fund me.

I was like, hey guys, like, this is my like career starter. You guys believe in me? Like help me buy this plane. Take it. Oh, because you had like a good following by that. Yeah. I had like a, not really on Vine. I think it was more on Twitter.

I used to tell jokes on Twitter. Like every day I'd wake up and just tell like, like, yeah. Cush Healy's like that. Yeah. Stupid shit like that. Yeah. I loved all that shit. Yeah.

It was so dumb, but um. Yeah. But you saw the obscurity in it and that's what made it funny. Obviously. I guess. I mean, I don't, I don't know. Like it's hard for me to. Like I said, there was this, there was this level of mocking that.

There's a level of the mocking, but people could actually believe that that was actually you. That's what made it great. You know, so like for me, like the only reason I didn't move out there was because I didn't think I would be like successful out there. Like I, like I wasn't willing to like take the shot to go out there. So that's a big jump though to like just be like, you know, mom, dad, I'm out. Peace.

Peace out. Yeah. Pittsburgh. Plus Pittsburgh was. I mean, Pittsburgh is really great. I honestly kind of regret. Cause I was in such a good place creatively in Pittsburgh cause it was like small town kind of vibe.

Like I was like, fuck, I need to get out of here. Like I'm going to hustle my ass off now. Like in LA it's like that's kind of. Like I definitely don't make as much shit as I did. Right. Which is like maybe I'm just doing it because I want to put really good shit out. Like I would just shit post, but then I don't know. I think there is merit to living somewhere small like that.

Like, yeah. I grew up in a, like when me and Mike were big on there, like people will wait outside our house and shit. Like little kids. That's awesome. You know what I mean? So just be like, yeah, what's up guys? I felt like I was walking into it.

Yeah. I felt like I was like walking into the garden. Like I would sign something and like walking to my house and be like, Danny, I'm like, I gotta go man. I gotta go. Yeah. I love my fans. Tip offs in 25 minutes guys.

But it was like, that was the coolest part because like if I was in New York city and I, and I was big on there, this is New York city. Like I'm not trying to like flex or whatever, but we usually get recognized when we go out in New York city. It's like our biggest, it's our biggest demographic. Right. Yeah. So, but even then it's, it's few and far in between when you can't go anywhere in

your hometown without like somebody showing you mad love. So I was like, yeah, this is really, really cool. And like, I thought that was like, okay. Yeah. Right. 2,000 people know who I am. Yeah. In town.

I'm the fucking man. Right. But once you'd like realize that you have to do other things, it was hard for me. So like that's why I never made the jump to go to LA because I didn't think I had, I knew I had what it takes. I knew I had what it took. Yeah. Don't ask me.

I knew I had what it took to be successful, but I didn't really believe in myself at that time. So like my confidence wasn't great. I think that you're right though. When you live in an area where there's not a lot of distractions, you're just more prone to- Totally. I was making shit out of my ass. I was making a song in the morning, like three vines, another song, YouTube video.

Now it's like, ugh. Yeah. Duh. It's just not the same. I feel like I lost that kind of edge, which I've thought about moving back to Pittsburgh because LA's cool, but it's really, I don't know. It's a huge gap between Leonardo DiCaprio fucking lives there. Right.

And it's like, that definitely weighs on my conscience. I'm like, fuck, I want to get to that level. Right. But, you know, I don't know. Yeah. There is pros and cons. There is pros and cons because you also don't want to be in a place where- Scary.

It is scary. What happened with you? Fuck, will I ever be at that level? There's like doubt and shit, but it's like you should just be focusing on creating shit. Yeah. Because there's also on the other side, what happened to you, you basically got complacent because you were like, oh, I'm cool here. In this town.

So like, cool. Yeah. And I'll continue to make shit, whatever. But if you just get complacent with there, or you get to the point where it's kind of overwhelming where you're like, well, I'm not going to live in that fucking house. It's got like eight tennis courts. Yeah. Well, yeah.

In LA, you feel like I'm like, fuck, like why should I even try? Like, I definitely feel that way. I would feel that way too. Yeah. It's like, yeah, you got like, like you said, Leo and fucking Brad Pitt running around out here. Right. And like, what the fuck am I doing?

Right. But I've just- Oh, I made an Instagram video. That's cool, right? You like it? Oh, yeah. I was in a movie. Yeah.

It's like my dick. The Academy Award. Yeah. I'm going to the Oscars. Yeah. I'm saving the earth, you bitch. You bastard. I'm cleaning the ocean.

Yeah. Climate change, motherfucker. He rocks. I don't even know what he's doing out there. Just being a pimp, dude. Just pimp. He vapes hard and just fucks horse. Yeah.

Yeah. He just gets sucked and saves wildlife, I feel like, which is amazing. Yeah. Imagine you bust a nut and then just like save a fucking elephant. I think the saving the world thing is just his ploy to get even more pussy. Yeah. Which isn't fucking fair. He's like, guys, I save the world.

Come on. I post a picture of a tiger. Yeah. It's like, yo, this isn't fair. You don't get to be this guy also. Right? He's just like the perfect dude. Like, Leo, no.

Good looking, good actor. Yeah. And just a good dude. Yeah. Dude, you need to, he needs to get a DUI, like, immediately, because it's not fair. It'll never happen, dude. I was worried about Leo during the Me Too. I was like, they're going to get him.

Because, like, this guy throws dick around like a frisbee. I don't think any girl would ever do that to him because they're like, he's so... Like, Jack Nicholson's the same way. He's probably... They say that Jack Nicholson's had sex with, like, 10,000 women. But every woman was probably, like, satisfied and so pumped that they're not going to... You're going to eat your pussy. I'm going to eat your pussy now.

I'm going to kill you with an axe. I'm Jack. Do you like that? Do you like going to Lakers games? Do you want to sit courtside? Or maybe, I don't know, maybe some crazy shit will come out about them, like... Nah, I just feel like, like... I would feel the same way that you're feeling if I was out there.

Yeah. Because it'd be tough. I'd be like, yo, like, all these people are here. And then, like, I'm like, what am I doing? Yeah, well, here's the analogy my mom was like. My mom said this, I think, about all that. When she said this, at first, I was like, nah, shut up. Like, you know what you're talking about.

But now, I totally feel it. She was like, you're a big fish in a little pond in Pittsburgh. Out in L.A., you're a big fish in a fucking huge pond with way bigger fish. And it's only getting bigger, because everyone's a fucking influencer. So it's like, when you meet people, it's like, they don't have social media, or they're not trying to do something. Dude, you see the most random people from your neighborhood, like these people you knew from high school or whatever,

and they're trying to make skits and shit, and you're like, what the fuck? Like, what is happening here now? There's like 50 hashtags in the caption, and you're like, yeah, what's happening? The other thing that's crazy, too, like, when we would make vines, right, you never, when it got serious, it wasn't fun anymore. Like, it was like, you kind of had to make money, dude. Yeah, I have a responsibility now to put to my face. That's how I feel, yeah.

And it's like, yo, like, I just want to have fun again. I just want to have fun again, you know? Like, that's what, thankfully, he gave me a job here, and like, I was able to start having fun again. Pimp. Yeah, it was very, very pimp, very pimp. I'm starting to start crying right now. No, no, no, it's all right.

Love this guy right here. No, dude, you're an asset, though. You're hilarious. Thank you. I hope you know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Like, you're funny as fuck. Oh, he does.

He lets me know every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This place will go to shit without me! I've never said that, but I thought it. But I'm just saying, like, Joe's so fucking lucky to have me. You know, because like, it's fucking jerking off in this room. Saved your life, you piece of shit. If you only knew what I did for you.

Well, like, I look at guys like him, right? And... Yeah? He's kind of always had it figured out. So, like, with the YouTube shit, he was like, I have to do other stuff. And he's very modest. But, like, you know, you had YouTube, then you kind of had the speak out, and then you kind of had...

What was the speak out? The speak out against a group of people? You know that game fucking Ellen would, like, have the Kardashians put that thing in their mouth, and you'd be like... Oh, yeah. You did that? You created it? Yeah.

For Ellen? No, for Hasbro. Just for the Earth. That is fucking tight, dude. Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fucking awesome, dude.

Yeah. I mean, that happened, like, by accident. For Hasbro? Yeah. Dude, so you has money, bro. There's a BMW out there. Nice. It's covered in snow, but he's doing okay.

That's tight, dude. But, like, he keeps me from being complacent, because I have a complacent personality. Yes. Me, too. And I'm very like, yo, like, the thing we did two days ago was awesome. Me, too. And Joe's like, dude, yeah, but, like, what are we doing today? We got to keep going, bro.

Yeah. I got a bed, some ramen. I'm cool. Yeah. I'm just like, dude, like, I live on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Like, I'm good. And Joe's like, no, it's not... No.

It's not good enough. Shut up. I don't want this, Danny. I feel like I used to have that. I envy this kid all the time. How old are you? 27. Okay, cool.

Yeah. You're 30. 25. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, you got time, bro. We could all technically date and it wouldn't be weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Three-way dating? Yeah. We're all in the same age bracket. Kind of. It's kind of like, yeah. But, like, that was... Perfectly staggered. But that's why it's...

Yeah, it's perfectly staggered. We could all just, like, switch up dates and the numbers are straight. But, like, that's why... Let's get polyamorous. That's why I'm happy you're doing comedy, though, because you're not being complacent. Exactly. You know, what you were saying before was, like, you were making these videos and it's kind of like, oh, like, whatever.

Like, now you're starting from zero, essentially. Right. And you have this new thing that, like, you're not going to be good at off the bat. And it's like, all right, now I have to get to a certain place. I have... Now, if, in your mind, you're back in Pittsburgh when you had nothing and, like, I have to build this vine thing again. You know, it's kind of the same thing.

Now you're at zero with, you know, comedy. And it's good that you're not, like, yeah, I'm just, like, selling out a tour. Yeah, I'm fucking awesome, dude. Nicoletti hilarious. Yeah, but you're like, I want to be good at it. Yeah, if you want to be, like, good at it, then you are. You're at zero. Oh, yeah.

I just want to learn. I want to listen. Yeah. Not to... Dude, not to flex, dude. But I met with... Chris Delia invited Casey out to the comedy store the other night. And I was thankful enough to...

Grateful enough to come along. Like, Chris was cool about, like, me coming along. And he... I'm sure you knew who you were from bond. No, he did. He did recognize me. He was like, oh, you're doing stand-up now. Like, blah, blah, blah.

And he gave me some pimp wisdom. And he totally verified the same thing that I was thinking, which is you need... You're an internet guy. That's great. You can sell these tickets. That's fucking cool, man. But if you want to get the respect and, like, the respect from your peers, which is invaluable, you need to do the shit shows.

You need to go to the open mics that, like, four people are at, some dude fucking coughs. Like, that's the laugh. Yeah. Like, you need to do all that shit, which I was like, I needed someone to fucking tell me that. Because if... Because, yeah, you're selling out the shows. Like, you could totally...

I see... Go the fuck... Go the fuckboy route. Yeah, and get, like, a big head, huge ego. Be like, yeah, I'm fucking hilarious. I'm the funniest guy. But that's not true. Yeah.

Like, I just want to get better. Yeah. And I was so fucking afraid to do it. Like, I was so afraid to start it. So... Dude, I would be terrified. You go from five minutes to a fucking hour. Yeah.

I was, like, so fucking afraid. So you have an hour of material that you have now? Mm-hmm. Dude, that's wild. That's special. Thank you. But I like, that can even look at you and be like, you know, because I was just like, I understand why people don't like me.

I used to do a podcast out of a comedy club in the city, and I would meet comedians all the time. And then after the podcast, a bunch of them would be like, oh, dude, I wanted to hate you so bad. Yeah. You know? And I get that. I understand that.

But, you know, their whole thing now, like, there's people who are salty, but one of my friends put in perspective for me, this comedian, and he was like, he's like, dude, at first I just, like, hated you because I was like, oh, I'm working this job, and I'm doing these six spots at night at a bunch of different clubs. He's like, but you're coming up with material every single week, and like, that's not an easy thing to do. Like, people do the same act for 10 years. Yeah.

Dude, Jerry Seinfeld's done the same thing for, like, 30 years. Yeah. And dude, and for you to go from five... What's the deal? Murder. Murder. Murder. Murder.

Murder. With five minutes to an hour, like, that is unheard of. Yeah. Even if it's awful, people have to respect the fact that you were even able to do that. Yeah. It's not an easy thing to do. It was definitely at a necessity, like, it wasn't like, it was like, I was almost, they were like, dude, we booked you the show.

Like, what are you going to do? Like, bench out. But you can't. And I, yeah, like, I wasn't going to be like, dude, sorry. I... Something deep down, I was like, this is, like, I have to fucking do it. Now when you started writing, did you feel that you were in the right head space to start writing? Or do you feel like maybe you want to, like you said, maybe not something as drastic as move

back to Pittsburgh and start writing again? But did you have to find yourself getting motivated to write like an hour? Yeah, definitely. But it's tough. It is tough. What I do is I'll write a joke and then I figure out a way to string it into the next joke and then I just keep doing that. And then Casey actually, which it's so simple, but I never thought of doing it. He just said set up your camera and do it and just riff and like just keep watching yourself and like timing and watching yourself. And that that's really what like, like saved me. So you got a process. You got you were able to instill a process. Right. But like, yeah, it was super daunting. I was like, fuck, how am I going to come up with an hour's worth of material? I would try to do it and like

think that I was up there for like 40 minutes to look at the clock and it'd be like 11 minutes. I wouldn't be able to do it. You could, dude. You definitely can. Like I'm very, I thought the same exact thing. Yeah, I think you just have to do it right one day. He's going to realize dude, like you're going to wake up. You have no idea. Like, I think you even know, you know what I mean? I feel like you know that it's all in there. But it's like one day, you're just going to do it. And then it's going to be like, well, now it's working out. And then you feel like an idiot because you're like, oh man, now I could have been rich five years ago. I could have been rich 10 years ago. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, I definitely

like I'm doing it right now. It's still kind of crazy. The whole thing like, like, do you still get nervous before shows? Totally. Because they say if you're not nervous, you know, you don't, you don't really care. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, I was talking to Chris about that because he doesn't smoke or drink. Yeah. And I'm definitely trying to cut back on, on the smoking both. Yeah. Yeah. Quitting the drinking. Yeah, I got you. I mean, I did it. It was tough. It is tough. I got your back. Thanks, man. I appreciate that. There's temptation everywhere, especially at the comedy clubs too. Yeah. Everyone's getting wasted. To drink minimums. Right. Yeah, everyone wants to drink with you. Right. But he doesn't smoke or drink. And I was like, dude, what do you do about

nerves like in anxiety? Because I know you don't smoke or drink. And he was like, dude, feel that shit, bro. Like, you need to fucking feel that anxiety before the show. Like, it's just going to make you better. Like, and it's just going to push you to like go that extra mile. And I was like, fuck, like, it's always the, the simplest. You think it's like this complicated thing, but it's usually just like the simplest. And I was like, fuck. Just to change your mindset a lot of the time. Like, do you, do you struggle with like, you want to be recognized as an artist? No, I just want to make people laugh. You just want to make people laugh. I just want to make, there's always, I always think that there's one depressed person in the audience. And if I can

make that person like happy for however long, even if it's one joke, like I've done my job. It's worth it. Yeah. Because like, I struggle with that thing too. I was like, yo, like, I want to be known as like an artist. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, yo, people already do like see you that way. Like, you know, like, you make people laugh for living. Right. But also, what does that even mean? But what does it even mean? But not only that, but I feel like if you're an artist, like, I would never call myself an artist ever. Right. I think that's for other people. Exactly. It's not for people like, yes, he's an artistic person or whatever. You just got to do you. It's like, it's all trial and error.

Like anything that anyone does as far as like comedy goes is like, there has been, there's never been someone been like, this is my first try, boom, we're done. Right. And it's amazing. Yeah. It's just failure after failure and like working it out. So you have to suck. And it's scary to suck, especially it's scary to suck when you have an audience already where everyone thinks you're hilarious. So you're like, Oh my God, there's so much pressure. And people, you know, whatever. So when they see me in this like different setting, if I'm not funny, like it'll crush. Yeah. I mean, dude, I've bombed like there's definitely been times like tell a joke and no one laughs. And it's like, you just got to push there.

I was so excited to tell this joke three hours ago. Like totally freeze up. But yeah, I think comedy, I think anything is trial and error. Like there's artists, you can compare it to music, I think, and like paintings like and or basketball is my my favorite comparison with with anything artistic. It's like, Steph Curry doesn't make a shot. He's not going to fucking take his shoes off and go home. Like he's not going to quit the game. Like you just keep trying and trying and trying. And like the more the harder you try and the more you try, the more chances you have of being successful. And he he just like fucking goes in and gives it as all like that's all he does. Like that's why he's the man

because he just goes into the game and fucking plays his ass off. Like that's all you have to do. Yeah. And I think as long as I think a big part of like comedy is like having that mindset of just wanting to be good because a lot of people they're not good and the reason why they're not good. And like, I always I always thought like, OK, yeah, I think I'm funny, whatever. But like there's these people that I look up to like fucking Bill Burr and Louis CK and I'm like, these people are fucking funny. Yeah. Like, you know, and like the legends then you go to a comedy show and you're like, yo, everyone on that roster was fucking terrible. They were awful. Like, I feel like I could go up there like drunk with my eyes closed and like do a better set

than them. And then it but like those people, they just have this woe is me kind of self pity about them that they get up there. They tell the same jokes and they don't work. And they're like, oh, you know, and they're I don't know what they're waiting for. Like some fucking exec from Comedy Central to be like, yo, we're going to give you this guy rocks. Yeah. And it's like, that's never going to happen, dude. Like you have to be realistic with yourself and be like, OK, is this joke even funny? And should I get new material? Should I do something completely different? Like, right? But they're just stuck in this old way of like, you take jokes because the old school way of it purists in comedy are like, you have you write a joke and you keep doing it until it becomes

funny magic pops. And then you just and like, OK, that's the way I do it. And then you just do it that way. Like, dude, that doesn't exist anymore, especially in this fucking era where you got to be dynamic every day. You know, I think eventually comedy is going to get to the point where it's like, people don't do the same fucking people just go up and go and then everyone laughs. So obscured. There was people when I did the show at Caroline's, they got tickets to both shows. And thankfully, it was a live podcast and not like a stand up show. But I was like, yo, if this was a stand up show, these people don't even like know, you know, like a younger person who was like, fucking 18 or 17 at the time, who's not who doesn't really know comedy,

but knows like YouTube shit. Yeah, they don't get that like, yo, this is going to be the same exact show. Yeah, they were just they were just trying to see that dick. A lot of people that was pants on. Yeah, they're trying to see that fucking. It's a lot of people's first comedy shows. Like when they come, they're like, I don't I don't even know if this is going to be. Yeah. So it's like you can either leverage that or like, I don't know. Do you like talking to the crowd at all? I don't like the crowd work because I'm always like, fuck, someone's going to burn me. And like, I'm just like, not know what to say. But every once in a while, if someone like some girl was like, Hey, I DM, do you better answer me? And I was like, fuck no. Everyone just started

dying. Yeah. So if someone sets me up really good, I'll like play along with it. But generally, I don't like to like get into it with people. Has anyone ever tried to like heckle you? Not really. I haven't had like a bad heckling story. And if if someone has, I definitely didn't like know that it was happening. You were just so anxious and nervous that just went over your head. Yeah, I always suck. Yeah, I always look down and just go, Yeah, man, cool. Yeah. Totally like try to like blow it off. But some people get really mad. Like when we were at Chris's show, someone was like, he was like, Yeah, I don't smoke or drink. And someone was like, boo, he was like, fuck you, dude, you're a fucking loser. He's hilarious though. He like

fucking killed it. Some people are really good at it. I'm just like not. I guess I just need to get sacked up and fucking be more confident. Yeah. But you know, it'll come and go. Yeah. Like I feel like like the more you do it, the more you'll understand, like people are just fucking assholes. Right. People come wasted, dude. Yeah. Like people come hammered. Those late shows are fucking missing. Have you ever performed in New York? No. So this is like my third time ever being here in my life. Do you like New York? I like it. It's stressful. Yeah. It stresses me. And I feel like there's just a stressful, like everyone's stressed out. You're not. You're not. Yeah. It's like a stress. I don't know how I'm gonna make rent. So we're

going out tonight. How are we gonna get the subway, the taxi? New York is literally the home of the rich poor. That's what it is. It's like you'll be rich anywhere else, but you are poor here. Yeah. But it's like you're poor here. So it's like, you know, you're talking about how you have no money, but your apartment costs $4,000 a month. Right. You know what I'm saying? Other people are like, you know, kidding. It's like a paradox. It's like, no. And obviously you have no money because you to live in a closet is $4,000. But I think being a real like New Yorkers, you have to kind of hate it. New York. Yeah. Yeah. I love New York and I fucking hate it. I like it because it keeps me honest. I feel like it's a good middle ground between LA and a small

town like you guys. Yeah. Yeah. You know, because it feels like the best example that I always have is like, I put out this video one time and I was like, Oh, dude, like I've liked this video a lot. Like I worked on it. Like it's funny, blah, blah, blah. It was doing views and like shit. And I was in LA at the time, um, filming some shit and all the people around were like, Oh dude, that was really good. Like all the stuff like blah, blah, blah. And like just like blowing smoke up my ass to the point where I was like, all right, Jesus relax. It wasn't that good. What's happening? And then like, and then I got back home the next day and I was at the gym with my friend and he just goes, yo, that that video you put out yesterday. I was like, yeah, he goes,

it was the worst video I've ever fucking seen. Damn. And he was like dead serious. And I was just like, dude, I was like, I like that because it's like, it keeps me honest of being like, this guy is not going to give me an opinion just because he thinks he can get something out of me. He's like, yo, that fucking sucks. Who was it? Ferg. Ferg. He's like, yo, that that video, fucking trash. Those are the friends you got to keep close. Yeah. But yes, nobody likes the yes man. All my friends are just like, dude, we don't fucking care. Like, you know what I mean? I prefer that honestly. They all cut each other's ass. I'm going to put this out and they're going to hit me up like, yo, that kid, that kid's funny. Like you should have him on it. I was like, okay.

Like that's that's what they're like, you know, yeah, you know, you definitely need that. You definitely need that. You know who I'm jealous of? People that don't give a shit like about Instagram or any of that. Yeah. And just be like, yeah, it's like, you know, like on Instagram, he's like, oh, I don't have one. Yeah. I mean, dude, what's that like? What is that? You know, like, what do you do with your day? Imagine life without like, yeah, just like how what are you like how pure his head is. Yeah. It's like, yeah, no, like, I don't have to eat today, maybe work out. That's all I'm thinking about. Yeah. I got to water my plants in the morning. Yeah. Damn. Because ever since like, I was,

you know, I was never a computer person ever or a phone person ever. Like, I didn't like, you know, texting and shit, like, you know, T nine, like that was the type of shit I was doing. Sup. Take forever. Yeah. And then like, once Vine started, then I became like this, like, addicted to the internet person. And I hate that quality about me. But it's like, obviously it's part of our job to do it. Yeah. But I just wish I cared a little bit less about it. I wish there was a middle man that could look at the comments that so that I didn't have to you ever look at the comments and you're like, wow, that ruined my whole day. Yeah, for sure. He's the one that actually told me to stop reading comments. Yeah. Because he would get mad

and he would like say stuff. Yeah, me too. I get so fucking mad. I got into like a fucking DM novel thing with this guy because he was like, yeah, dude, you fell off. And I was like, I hate that. I know. I was like, I was like, bro, I was like, bro, why would you say that to me, dude? Like, you don't even fucking know me. I don't, I don't go on your page and make fun of him. He was like a club promoter. I was like, dude, your club sucks. Yeah. Well, I didn't even say that. I was like, how would you feel if I fucking said that to you? He's like, whoa, I'm just doing it for my friend. Like, but the fact that I was even arguing with this guy, I don't even fucking know fucking stranger. Such a waste of time and energy. I've bared my soul to people. Right? I'm like,

what am I doing? Listen, man, I'm going through a lot right now. I remember one time I posted a Vine, right? And it was like more towards the tail end and I wasn't really caring about it that much. And it was like, yo, it's like, he just wrote like, it's a shame. Used to be so funny. Dude, those comments are the worst. So I hit him up and I was like, yo, bro, what's your fucking problem? Yeah. And he was just like, what? I was like, yo, the comment you left is just not cool. Like, you know, and then like, I went on this fucking thing that I realized that I sent a fucking DM that might have been seven paragraphs. And I was like, all right, I was like, yo, don't ever fucking talk to me again. He was like, damn, all right, chill. And then like, chill. Yeah, stranger. Never talked

to me again. He's like, I don't wasn't planning on it. I read it a day later. I was so embarrassed that I DMed him again and apologized. Right. And then you just look like a crazy person. Yeah. And he was like, nah, it's cool, bro. Like, I've always been a fan. Like, you know, that's what always happens. I'm like, dude, then why are you telling me like shit to be like, yo, Danny, yo, you're mad. I just wanted your attention, man. That's what they want. I hate that. Yeah. That's why I don't answer like, you lost your shit on the way. Yeah, you can't ask. Thank you. I like that. What are you eating these days? Fucking honestly, the past month, I've really been fucking up on like my health and diet shit. Like I kind of went off the rails. But this morning,

I had some oats. Yeah, beat, beat juice. Look good. Thank you. I just did like vegan for like two months. How was that? It was good. I felt really good. Like, how was your shit? I'm always worried about like what your shit is like, like, not your ship personally. Actually, now I'm always worried about what your shit you just comes in here and really soft. It was soft. It was just soft. I guess it fluctuated. The more fiber I would eat, like if I had like a bunch of boulders, right? It gets all braided. Yeah. It's coming out like anal beads. Like this kid drank a hot chocolate the other day and was like, I was blasting. This guy was shitting like, really? Yeah, it was remarkable. And it was also like 45 minutes after I drank it,

which I don't even know what that was. Or even caffeine in the hot chocolate. I don't even know I think he's lactose. Super lack. Yeah. So like, yeah. But I could eat pizza and like my body's like, yeah, cool. But if I just like drink like if milk is in a beverage, it's like we are shitting now. I definitely I can tell like if I eat something that I don't, I don't know. Like say like you were like, if I eat cheese or like meat, I definitely feel slower and dumber. Yeah. But if I eat like vegetables and like really clean, I can tell that I feel like more energetic. My mood is definitely so it's not like and I like bloated and shit. Right. It's like it has to be a mixture of like actually healthy and like placebo effect. Yeah. Right. I don't know. See, I don't know because I

consistently felt really good. Like I would wake up and be like, all right, cool. I'm working out today. I feel awesome. I feel positive. Yeah. But then when I eat shitty food, I just feel like I think I'm just very sensitive to like how my body reacts to shit. Yeah. Because uh, yeah, I mean I'm gonna say wait with like exercise. If I don't exercise, I just feel like shit. I feel like yeah, I have to. It's like medicine for me. Like I have to do like I just have to do. What's that like? What's exercise like? Yeah, dude, it's crazy, dude. You don't exercise? No, dude. We should get you on a regiment, dude. If you if you I need to try. Yeah, but I need like literally something like from the ground up. Like start with walking. That's what I did. Yeah. Walking and then a little

bit of running and then you'll seriously start to get like a taste for it. You'll be like, I want to do this. I do. I do walk a lot. I walk a lot. I walk my dog. I walk like four mile walks and I'm like, okay, I still do that. But it's just like I've really, I mean, shout out to eat clean, bro. They sent me a whole bunch of meals now. Eat clean. Yeah. Eat clean, bro. Eat clean. Eat clean. Eat clean. Eat clean. It's very good. So like my food has been very clean. Okay. So like I was like a lot of protein though. A lot of protein. Yes. So my thing is is like you got to burn that shit off, man. Protein will just stay fat on you. Yeah. It'll clog your hearts. Get cloggy. If you give it a week. This is what I'm going to tell you to do. Go vegan for

a week. Try it, dude. What's the worst that can happen? You're not going to feel bad. You're going to feel good. Is it possible to be vegan on the week of Christmas? No. Wait. You can wait. All right. All right. All right. How about I say just give it a shot because I felt, I mean, I wasn't I need recipes and shit and what to eat. Like, like that's the type of person I am. It's like, you know, eat this for breakfast, eat this for lunch, eat this for dinner and shut the fuck up. I would usually just skip breakfast, drink some coffee and then use the coffee as energy to go work out and then eat like a huge lunch and then maybe a smaller dinner. Like those are both morning workout people. Yeah. I can't work out in the

afternoon. I try not to think about food because I have an addictive personality. So if I'm going for it, I'm going to eat like pizza, wings, maybe a cheeseburger, fucking fries just like till I can't eat anymore. So I really have to like reel it in when it comes to my health. Yeah. When I cheat, I cheat hard, dude. Yeah. Like it's not like I have one slice of pizza. I shouldn't have done that. It's like I'm eating this fucking pie right now. Yeah. Like when I stopped drinking, like see that's the thing. Like with the exercise, like, yo, if I could quit drinking, I could definitely exercise. Drinking was way worse of a thing for me. But it was it's easier, obviously, but it's not like I've never worked out before in my life either. I used to work out all the time. But like

stopping drinking just made me realize like you have to do more stuff to be like healthy though. Yeah. Like just stopping drinking isn't going to like make me the pinnacle of health. You know what I mean? Drinking just frees up a bunch of not drinking frees up a bunch of your time. Like I haven't been drinking, I think like two months now. That's awesome. So like I stopped doing that. But like that just like frees up a bunch of time that I that's what I've realized because like a lot of the plans that I would have would be like, you know, you want to go meet this bar this and that. So when you're not doing that, and it's like, oh, I don't really want to go this time because like I can still go to a bar and like whatever just have a fucking selfie or something. I don't

think I could go to a bar. Really? I'd be like, yeah, I need a beer. I remember those days. Well, once I got over that, what I had to do honestly was go to bars. Just face the fear. You just face the fear and be like, yo, if I can get in and out of here, and it's like, yeah, yeah, no, I seriously had nights like that. Well, like I'd be like, damn, dude, it's tough. I've definitely had to go home early, like be like, no, I can't go like, it's happened to me plenty of times below people off just being like, yo, like, all my homies are drunk. Like this is awesome. And then you're the only being the only sober one is fucking trippy. Now it's awesome now. Yeah. We went to Nashville. Oh, man, these guys got

a blackout drunk. It was one of the best times I ever had in my life. Just like dealing with them. Yeah, dude, I get a fucking seltzer and water and just act drunk. You know what I'm saying? And I'm straight. Yeah, you can cut loose and everyone else is actually drunk. Yeah, everyone's fucking wasted. And it's like, it's still new for me. But I what I enjoy the most is that I'm out and it's like, like 1130 or 12. And like, I've just been having like water or seltzer the whole time. And then I know in my head, like, you know, I could get up and go work out at eight o'clock in the morning tomorrow. Yeah. And like these guys are not going to be a no way. So it kind of feels good in that way that I could wake up after a night of going out

and be like, I'm good. Yeah. So like that got like a little addicting to me. I don't really have the urge anymore, honestly. Yeah, it's just the first couple months are really tough. I would say the first like three weeks is really hard. Well, I drank a lot. So like the first three days and in my in my experience, like the first three weeks, were you like shaking and shit? Yeah, dude, I had a nervous breakdown after that. That's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I just fucking stopped doing fucking shneef and drinking. Shneef. I haven't been heard. I haven't heard even called that in a minute, dude, like a year. Just fucking yipped up thinking of fucking yep. Oh, it turned every light on my apartment for no reason or sure. It's not bright enough in

here. Yeah, something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So forget I have a doorman and nobody can get to me. So it's like somebody's coming upstairs. I think there's a bird in this apartment. Yeah, creek. What was that? That's why like I had to clean all that shit up, man. And once I cleaned all that shit up, like your body goes through withdrawal. Yeah. Physically, you get fucked off. Definitely. Dude, I feel so good to from that. Like I just feel like everything's firing quicker. Yeah, it's not sustainable. It's like, yeah, it's just, it just, it's just when you change the meaning of a social interaction to not be around alcohol, that's when you can beat that thing. Yeah. Because listen, you can't be

someone that struggles with alcohol and like be halfway, half in, half out because you're in. Yeah. That's just what it is. You're in. Like I'll only drink on the weekends. You're in. You're drinking. That's most people only do that. Yeah. And it's like, that's what it like, if I have to make a choice ever in my head, like, yo, I probably shouldn't drink five days a week. It's probably a little bit of a problem. Yeah, definitely. So like that's when I just realized I'm like, yo, like I'm staying up till three o'clock in the morning drinking and then eating like shit and then ordering fucking dominoes. Dude, I gained 100 pounds. Really? Yeah, dude. 100. When I first started working for him, I was like 282 pounds. Big daddy. He's a big,

well, I couldn't get my arms around the big guy. Now I'm two, I'm 240, I was 246 this morning. Nice. Nice. Fuck yeah. I got down to 225 and then I thought I made it and then I started eating again. Yeah. Yeah. I was also depressed and scared of the world. Me too. Yeah. So I was like, I'm not going to eat this. Yeah. And then I got a little more, came out of my hole and started eating a little more. Smoking is tough too, I think that. Yeah. See, I never, I never really smoked a lot of trees. I hit you up last night for some grass. Yeah, I would have got, I was being informed. I had, I had somebody to get it for you. Really? Yeah. I think I should just cut that shit out too. I mean, just take your time with it though. Like for me, be gentle, man.

Be gentle, be fragile. It's true though. Like, you know, because cold turkey is very hard. Dude, I stopped everything cold turkey legitimately almost, almost killed me. Really? Yeah, dude. Not like physically, like, like, oh my heart's going to stop. Mentally, it almost killed me. Yeah. You know, so I was like, yeah. I've been struggling with Kush for a while. I've always wanted to, like, now it's just not even fun anymore for me. Like, I don't want to do it. I think it's just like medication. It's like medication. Like, they don't just stop. You don't like, oh, you're good, you're done. Like, you have to wean it off of yourself. I've been weaning for like three years though. Yeah, but I've also just realized that I can't

do things in moderation. I've had to accept that about myself, whether it's food, whether it's fucking drinking, sex, fucking all that shit. Yeah. And it's like rock and roll. Rock and roll. That was a tough conversation to have with myself. Yeah, dude, because I'm the same way. I'm just like, yo, like, I don't have the ability as yet, or I don't know if I ever did to be like, yo, I'll have one beer and go home. I can't either. I'm staying or partying. I'm going to be the last one there. Party. Yeah. And like, I'm calling Schneef, man, at four o'clock in the morning. Dude, you good? Yeah, you up? Come through. Yeah, you know, how you been? And I just, how you been, man? Why are you only hitting me up right now? And then you realize you're like,

lying to a lot of people too. And then like, you realize you're more, it's more important that you just line yourself. Yeah, dude, once you start lying about stories, like, if you either you're being drunk or like whatever, then it's like, oh, I was just asleep. I was just sleeping. Yeah. I was like, yo, I was actually up at six a.m. like, I'm good. Like, like, it's two in the afternoon. Yeah. Like, my mom would like text me and I just like, ripping a fucking rail. And I'm just like, she's asked me how I'm doing. I was like, yo, if I told my mom what I was doing right now would break her heart. She would cry. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and then like, that's the type of thing. Like, I would have to turn my phone off

sometimes. Yeah, because like, I'd see my mom calling me and I'd be like, yeah. Yeah. Because yeah, because then you start feeling like a piece of shit. You think about your mom and she's like, she'd be like, yeah, if I could see like, I was like, if she had a security camera and saw that she would fucking she would cry. Yeah. So that was like another big thing too. Like, he didn't really know like what I was doing. You know, so like, for me, it's just like, I had to stop that shit. Yeah. And you could do that. You could do it. Because like, there's people that smoke weed and it'll be like, yeah, like I would go to work, I come home, smoke a couple hits of a J and go to sleep. It's like, but if you're waking up, taking a blunt to the face, and then like smoking while

you're out and like smoke three times a day, it's like, now we're getting crazy. Yeah. You know, that's how I was. I mean, I'm not that way anymore. But when I first moved to LA and I thought I was like, yeah, I'm a pimp. I'm fucking verified. Like met this dude Q shout out to Q. Shout out to Q. He showed me backwards. I thought it was so cool. Like smoking backwards. I'm like, yeah, I'm a fucking rapper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like wake up and smoke like a backwood smoking all day. But it just it really isn't anything. It's get first of all, it's always going to run out. Yep. You're always going to be out at some point. So it's not sustainable. Like it's then you're going to feel like shit. And the other thing you have to figure out is that I used to think it was

extremely connected to my creative process. Me too. I'm like, I need to be high to be funny. Yeah, come up with a cool idea. Yeah, it's not true. Like before we would film things, I'd be like, oh, like I have a beer. Like let's like figure this out. I did that for a while too. Before podcasts, I'd be like, oh, I'm just gonna have it. You actually come up with worse shit. Yeah. When you're not straight. You also say wild shit. Yeah. Oh, dude. Wild shit. And you're like, yo, this cannot see the earth. Yeah. There was a podcast we did once and I accidentally was like got really drunk because I was like, oh, I'm just gonna have a couple of beers. But I'm like, I like craft beers. Drinks like 75% beer and alcohol beers. So I had a couple of them and then

I got really drunk and I recorded a podcast with him, my buddy Frankie. And then like at the end of it, they were just like, they were like, like, they were like, all right, cool. See you later. And they did this and they were like, yo, dude, we can't put that out. Yeah. I was like, no, we're good. I'm putting the whole thing out. And then the next day I watched it back that we recorded like an hour and 20 minutes. And I put the episode out was like 43 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. Cut down. Because we had to collect all this shit. I was like, damn, dude, I was like, I had a thought in my mind, but that's not the way to explain it. When we, me and Evan Breen and Casey had a podcast for a hot minute. And yeah, we did the same thing. We, we like got really wasted one day and thought

it was going to be like awesome. Everyone's loose, but then you're just too loose. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. Yeah, it's like, can't even comprehend it. Yeah. So like, that's another thing that was big for me. Once I realized that I could be creative without it. I was like, yo, all right, boom, I'm good. Yeah. You know, that was the scariest thing. I was like, better without it. I'm better with way better. All my vines that I really thought were hilarious were when I was in Pittsburgh at home, living with my parents, not being able to drink or smoke just at will. Because now that we're older, you could do whatever the fuck you want. You can get wasted all day. No one's going to tell you. I can get anything. I can get any drug delivered

here right now. Literally. And the thing is, it's like, like he said, it always runs out. Right. You know what I'm saying? It's like, yo, one day, like I was doing fucking ketamine one day. And then I was just like, been there. Yeah. And I stood up and I was like, yo, I can't feel my legs. I literally went in the bathroom and was like, yo, what, what are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, slippery slope. It's a slippery slope. Pass around microwaves and shit. I said, go home. Yeah, go home. And I literally went home and then that was like, you know, kind of the start of like, I can't do this anymore. Yeah, because I'm going to fucking or at least we at least we can come to that realization. There's people that are like,

and they're that'll never come to that realization. It's just like, it's not a it's not a good way to live your life. You're not giving people what they deserve and you're not giving yourself what you what you deserve, which is like your full attention and your full potential and, you know, just being fucking present. Yeah, one of the biggest things for me was just kind of like on a much smaller scale was just feeling like, okay, this is what you do for fun. It was like the only thing and then like there's so many things you could do. There's so many hobbies you could pick up and this and that and you feel like there's no time because it's like, oh, I just work and then when I'm when I want to like relax or whatever or go have fun, like I'm drinking and

it was like, are you doing this? You're doing that. So it's like, when you when you take that out, now you're like, all right, well, I'm not going to sit here and do nothing. Yeah, you know, so what am I going to do? And that's how these little things pop up and you start to realize like, oh, you know, that is that's a nice thing to pick up instead of fucking it's like productive to do instead of just sitting there and drinking at a bar. Yeah. So it's like, it also opens you up to like more that life has to offer in a way. Totally. Yeah. And it's like, bars can be fun without drinking. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, but it can be. Like, like I said, we were just a natural and that place was they call they call it Nash Vegas. Like everyone's in

there to get drunk. There too. Yeah. So like you've been fucked. Everyone's there to get drunk. Whiskey fucking hot wings, Fleetwood Mac and everyone's trying to suck each other off. Yeah. I was just like, yo, like, I was like, yo, like if I could make it through this thing, I'm straight. Yeah. Like, yo, we're going to go to my, when did we go to Miami next month? Yeah, we're going to go to Miami next month. I'm not doing shit, but I'm gonna have a fucking great time because it's just like, you know, I'll fucking chill some fucking cigar and things are more fun than you think they are when you're fucked up. Yeah. And it's not reading a book or like sitting by the ocean is so cool. Yeah. Like it's way cooler than you think it is. Yeah. Like it's actually awesome.

Yeah. Yeah. Just to be able to have that ability to do that. Yeah. And enjoy and fully enjoy it without being like, dude, I'm fucking too hammered to even know where I am right now. Like that's just not for me. I knew like at some point I had to stop because it was like, I wasn't 21 anymore or I could drink and be like, yo, I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Like it was starting to be like, I was forcing myself to drink just cause I like needed it. I wasn't even like, it was a routine. It was a routine. Yeah. You know, to have to have it. I'd be hung over and be like, yo, I just got a drink. Yeah. Well, then you, yeah, you get in that cycle or the dog. Yeah. Or the dog. I mean, yeah. And then like nine fucking cocktails later, hair of the dog, dude, hair of the dog, man.

I used to wait for my fiance to go to sleep and then go get like two, 24 Bud Light Limes and sit outside of the Starbucks. That's like right down the street from my apartment and crush those and like listen to Drake. I'm like, what are you speaking to me? I was like, dude, what are you doing? Yeah. It's Tuesday. There's a night when we did that. You remember? We sat on a bench, like right outside of his apartment, had a six pack of beers. That was a great night though. It was a great night. There are great drunk memories. Oh yeah. We confess a lot of stuff. But then the worst is when you start to try to justify it and your brain starts to like, it's like, this is okay. This is fine. Yeah. And this is what people do. Or like, you're like,

I don't have a problem. Like, look at this homeless guy. Like that guy's like, I'm always like, someone in the world is getting drunk right now. It's cool. I'm fine. Yeah. Some dude and like, mom by is getting wasted. So me and him, dude. Yeah. We both have problems. But it's so lame. Yeah. It's like, why would you, why are you making excuses for yourself? Yeah. And like, when you're like 30 years old and wasted, it's just, it's not a good look. It's just not a good look. Just blacked, just blacked out. Where's Danny? Oh, I don't know. He's gone. He's on the floor. He's in a ditch. Yeah. Yeah, he's sleeping. I had some great times though. I had some great times. I don't, I don't regret any of the good times drinking, but it's the, the, so many like you

drank for no reason nights. Yeah. Like you'll drink six beers for no reason and just go home. Then it's like nothing, but I'm happy that you're trying to like cut back on that a little bit. Yeah. Good for you. No, I can't, I can't do it. Like creatively watch. You'll see. It'll be great for you. It's good. And I also feel like it was a lot easier like for me to just like not do it because like, I mean, he stopped doing it. I was still like drinking or whatever. And he was like good. And then I'm like, cause I didn't want to do it anymore. Like I felt like at the time, like I was, I was just drinking like a lot. And for the first time in my life, I was like consistently blacking out. Yeah. And I was like, okay, this is, I don't even like this. And I also

getting into fights with people and you're just like wake up the next day and you're like, fuck. Yeah. And I'm like, dude, I literally have to apologize and be like, I honestly couldn't even tell you what that was. It was a broken rage. Yeah. Like I don't know why I said that or like whatever. And that's just not me. Like I'm not one of those people that makes emotional decisions. Like I really like try to be as balanced as possible, but this is like ruining that for me. So I don't want to be this like person or whatever. But yeah, Danny helps a lot with that because he was like seeing him do it and like what the shit that he would go through and being at a bar and it's like, yo, Danny's here. He just had a fucking mental breakdown and he's, he could sit in this

bar and like just have a good time, like whatever, like it's not possible. And I like getting up early and like, uh, you know, using as much hours as you can. And I'm like, dude, if I get drunk, I completely lose Sunday. Yeah. I lose Saturday. You lose everything. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't want to just lose these days because I need to drink fucking. And like I'm good with having, I mean, I won't do it, but like I don't think that I have like an addiction. I think I have an addiction to like the social aspect of drinking and just being like, oh, I just want to be a part of this thing. And once you feel like I don't have to drink to be a part of it. And it's like a little easier, you know, I was drinking alone like five nights a week. Yeah. Yeah. I would do

that sometimes too. I always like chalk that up to like, oh no, it's craft beer. It's craft beer. I'm just trying. It's a new thing I've never had. And I'm like, my head three though. Yeah. Well, that's the whole like justifying thing. It's like, why, why do I need to go through that with myself and like lie to myself just to like do this? Yeah. There's a lot of lying to yourself that you do. Once you realize that you're full of shit, this is usually the turning point. Yeah. Yeah. We're all full of shit. Right. We're all fucking pieces of shit. I stopped in August. I was sober for three months. And then I had like a beer at Thanksgiving. Yep. I always usually get you too. I was like, dude, I can have a beer. Like I'm cool. Yeah. And then like 17 beers later.

I'm like, yo, I'm crawling out of windows. I am not cool anymore. I mean, I seriously can't. Like I just can't do it. You can't. So, but yeah, it's tough. Yeah. Before we go, we have a set of questions that we usually ask everyone. All right. All right. So I'm going to start with the first one. Or do you want to start with the first one? We kind of switch it up all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. All right. Here. These are real hard hitting questions. Yeah. If you cry, it's straight. Cool. It's all good to cry. All right. I cry every day. When's the last time you cried? That's not one of the questions I'm just asking. That's a good one though. Yeah. Yeah. Last night. You cried last night? Yeah. Yeah. I cry like all the time. I love my grandma. I

haven't cried in a while. Damn, that's fire. Right. Yeah. I was like, Nana. You just like cried a little bit, right? Yeah. Yo, I felt good though. I love crying, dude. Sometimes I'm sitting on the couch and I'm like, dude, I wish I could just cry right now. Yeah, dude. I need to do something. Trigger it. Damn, trigger it. Pull your finger now. So, pull the callus? You just say, I wish I could cry? Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. Like, you know, when you just... I don't have the ability to cry. You just have that feeling in your chest and you're like, I need to let this out. I need to cry or something, you know? And then you're like, I got to make myself cry. You got to cry more. It's so dope. Yeah. Does feel good. Yeah, it does. The first question, the sheets that are currently

on your bed now, how long have they been there? I just got new sheets. Yeah. What is this? People got some clean ass people. Maybe like a month, yeah. Well, because my girl was like, how long have you had these? This is gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, change it. They usually nudge you in the right direction. This is like the hardest-hitting question we have, so we pause it. Yeah. Also, no one's been able to do this. Okay. Name five kid rock songs. I can't. I can't even name fucking one. Oh, Bow to Bow to Bow to Dang Diggy Diggy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. The lyrics need a little work, but I don't know any other kid rock song. It's crazy. I don't know. I came up with that one. I did. It's an impossible question. It's a good one, man. It's good. It's an impossible question.

He has a bar in Nashville. Did you guys go to that? What's it called? Kid Rocks, honky-donk. Did we go to Kid Rocks? I don't know. It's pretty fucking, it's lit. It's actually a nice bar. It's pretty good. They have a really good stage. It's cool as fuck. That's fire, yeah. Gets real confederate in there. Yeah, everybody have fun except for that minority group over there. What's something you have to do every day that's not like obviously poop and pee pee, like normal stuff? What's something that you have to do every day? Work out. Okay, definitely. Every single day. No days off. No. And like we were talking about, if I do take

a day off, I feel I'm depressed. I feel like shit. I'm anxious. I have to like work. I think I'm just like a high energy. Yeah. Keep yourself busy. Right. I have to work out to the point of like exhaustion. Yeah. All right. So like out of like three months, how many days do you think you'd take off? This past three months where I was like on my health kick, I worked out every single day. There was not one day that I didn't wake up and like go get after it. Yeah. What time are you supposed to do it? Just when I wake up, like seven or seven or eight, I live fucking dude. In LA, I live above a gym. So like at fucking 6am, I hear like, yeah, come on Patty. Yeah. So I'm like, all right, I guess I'm fucking up now. I'm getting out. I'm getting down there, Patty. Right. I'm

getting after it. So I just go out at that time. What game show would you have the best chance on? I think I'd be good at Jeopardy. Yeah. I'm surprisingly pretty well. Usually, everyone goes, yo, not Jeopardy. And they start thinking about it. I think I know a lot of random shit. You're good at trivia. Yeah, kind of do like trivia at a bar or some shit. No, I live for that, to be honest. Bar Triv. Bar Triv. Who is RuPaul's first drag race winner drag race winner. Like no immediately. Yeah. Yeah. John Stevens. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes, queen. How the fuck did you get that? I just know. I just know. John Stevens from New Hampshire. Rate yourself one to 10. Two. And the one is that I have both of my notes. All right. Yeah, that's a plus. That's an automatic

one. That is an automatic one. Wait, what is two then? I can reproduce. That's why I have. Yeah. Two. I don't know. I can see. That's cool. I have a dick. I can see. Kind of got a sexy mouth. Throw that in there. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Put some chapstick on them. You know what I'm saying? Got to. Balls and some lips. That's an automatic deuce. Chat my balls. What's your what's your deuce? What's your least favorite feature about yourself? Like, do you have like weird nipples or some shit? I'm pretty hairy. I'm a pretty hairy guy. Yeah. Yeah. I have like a lot of and it's patchy. I like patchy back here. I get my back waxed.

Really? Yeah. See, I don't do that because I know it's going to grow back. So I'm just like, fuck it, dude. I'm just gonna maybe get to be a nice silky seal. Yeah. It's yeah. It's being telling you it's life changing. Just try it once. Great. Really? Yeah. Your lady will love it too. But will she? Are you perfect? I don't even know if she likes my your chest pubes. Yeah. I'm never made a point to be like, wow, some girls really like it. Yeah. They're like, oh, it's so manly. But she's the chest I leave. The chest I leave. I'll trim it maybe a little bit, but the back and like all that. T to C. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. T to B. Yes. Okay. Yeah. I shave my nuts too with a razor. That's that's yeah. I don't I hardly even do that ever. You just have I kind of just let it grow.

Like I'll I'll shave my face and my you have you have like a full man's throat. Yeah. That's fire. Foo man dong. I've got a full man's throat, dog. Stroking his balls for wisdom. So I don't know about this decision. Really curly one. That one felt good. Sometimes when you just tug on it and hurt your gooch, it feels nice that way. What was that thing we said one time where you gently grab your ball sack and twist it and you just do this like a cricket and just kind of like get you. Yeah. It's like doing this. It's awesome. Like a ponder, scrout ponder. It's literally just like grabbing it. Yeah. It's like grabbing this and going like that. It's great. This feels really nice somehow. Gently. Last question. Are you happy

today? Yeah. I feel great today. Good. I woke up. I worked out. I'm here with you guys. Hotel. You guys are fun. Hotel gym. Yeah. Hotel gym. Yeah. Just this lady was working out. There's a sign in the hotel. It says don't use your phone in the fucking workout thing. Nice. And she was on her phone. And my dad is like this. Like, I don't know if you guys have like flashbacks. He's very like, Hey, there's a fucking sign. Like what the fuck are you doing? Can you please not fucking? Yeah, I'm like that with dog shit all the time. I have to like, I almost said something about how to reel myself in. But other than that, I feel great. So that fucking bitch, she threw you off a little bit. That was a test. Yeah. That was a test. That was a test for God. That's what it was.

My dad's. Yeah. He's my dad's Sicilian Irish. Yeah. Half Sicilian, half Irish. So he's a fucking maniac. He's the dude who's like, yo, are you guys wearing fucking gloves back there at McDonald's? Like, he's that guy. Or like, yo, I don't see your hair net. Yeah, right? Yeah. So he's team turn off like whole turn. He'll call people out. But as I'm getting older, I catch myself. Yeah, you're getting more getting less and less patient with people's bullshit. Yeah. You have to. I was outside of my apartment. This woman just let her dog shit right in front. I told you to start. This woman just like, yo, yeah, I was like, yo, and she I was like, excuse me. I said, excuse me. Man, excuse me. She was like, yeah, I was like, are you going to pick that up? And she

was like, oh, I don't have a bag. I was like, yeah, it doesn't matter. Like, you can't leave that there. Use your hand. Yeah. Yeah. I literally went into the street or something. I got a bag from my doorman and brought it out and made her pick up her dog shit. And that's a gangster. People don't like give a fuck anymore. And like, I don't know. Yeah. But it's call out culture. It's call out culture to get called out. One more thing I wanted to ask before we left the YouTube show. You guys coming back? Real Bros. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Oh, yeah. Season three, baby. Season three. When you got shooting? Real Bros. It's already shot in probably the kind of like the later stages of editing. I'm sure they're kind of wrapping up the episodes just did a bunch of

promo stuff for it yesterday. And it shows huge. Yeah. People love it, dude. I had no idea that I was going to get as big as it is. Ride it, baby. Yeah. Ride the wave. But it's a big Jimmy guy. Yeah? Yeah. Dude, Jimmy's the fucking man. I feel like you and him would click. I love Jimmy, because like when I first started doing YouTube, I fucking hated everyone because they were always like 25 things in my room. Microphone. And it's just like, and then they would get 2 million views. But I was like, yo, this kid's making like these sketches that are good. And he's like, he has a legitimate skill, you know? And he's like, and as soon as I saw that, he got like the backing from like Facebook, I think, right? Yeah. I was like, oh, dude, like, this guy's the limit

for him. He outworks fucking everybody. He's like the first one to show up, last one to leave. Like he's not just like, I think people think that people in Hollywood are people that are famous or successful or just like they were just born with it. But like being in those environments with those people, they work their ass off, dude. They're like up at fucking 6 a.m. I'm sure he wakes up early and is like, they're just getting after about that life. Yeah, it's not, it's not like a mystery. Yeah, there's like definite like effort. And you can definitely see like over time, like, and Jimmy was never like the biggest YouTuber, like on YouTube, there was always people like bigger than him and doing like whatever. But there was all bullshit, like fluffy things.

But he always had like, I feel like everyone always knew of Jimmy though. Yeah. Yeah, this kid actually makes funny videos and like they're good. He works hard and he's really funny. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so happy for him. It's sick. He's like, he's in movies now. He's fucking dope. He's following me on Vine too. Really inspiring. Yeah. He's super inspiring, dude. It's like fun to watch him work. Yeah, he's great, man. All right, cool, man. Thanks for coming on the show. Thanks for having me. Yeah, dude, for sure. It's been awesome. We gotta do this like typical like radio sign off now. Okay. Thanks for so much for coming in. You know, you got anything you want to add? Where can the people find all your shit? I don't want people to find me.

I'm moving back to Pittsburgh. Just at Nick Haledi on everything. Nick Undersword Haledi. Were you a Big Mac Miller fan? Yeah. That was tough, huh? For the city, right? Totally, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I remember we were talking about that for a little bit, because I forgot, I forgot the Pittsburgh connection there. But yeah, I had the, I got to meet him. I got to hang out with him a couple of times. Really? We were like kind of like just becoming better friends. We were acquaintances. He had invited me to a couple of things and then... That's dope though, because like he put on for that city for a while. Dude, growing up in Pittsburgh, I used to have dreams of meeting him. Yeah. I was so fascinated with him. He's a huge fan too. I mean, I was a Big Mac fan myself,

but like he was a huge fan too. Yeah. It's still like a really, I can't listen to his stuff yet. It's tough, yeah. Or like what? His stuff always pops up on Instagram. It's super hard to watch. Yeah. But you know, it's something that, you know, he left something behind though. At least we were able to have his music at least, you know, in his artist career. He was the fucking coolest dude that I ever did. I used to say that. I'm like, obviously, I've never met, I've never met Mac at all. My bad. I didn't mean to bring it up. People ask me about it all the time. Yeah. But I remember just like seeing videos of him being like, oh dude, this kid seems Mac cool. Dude. Yeah. He just seemed like the nicest guy in the world. Yeah. Yeah. He really was. He always made me feel like I

was part of the, because I knew I wasn't like, I was like a fucking Viner kid. Yeah. Like I was like, dude, this is crazy, but he always made me feel like part of the team. Yeah. Like he always made me feel welcome and that's dope. That's awesome. Yeah. You know what's crazy? Mac Miller's music is the only music ever that I felt like, and it took until like after he passed away. I was like, I was like, Dan, like, like a week later, I was like, damn, dude, like his music like meant a lot to me. And it was probably the music that he hated doing also. But it was like just happening at the same time. I think me and him are the same age. And it was just happening at the same time as I was trying to do shit. So he was like super inspirational. So his music to me, I'm like,

and like, I watched this whole journey from like kids to like best day ever and shit. I'm like, oh my God, like this is what I want to do and like whatever. Like obviously not like rapping and shit. I'm gonna fucking go rap, too. Yeah. It wasn't it wasn't just like you just out there like viral sensation white boy shit like fire. I'm gonna fucking had bars. Yeah. He was fucking nice, man. Rest in peace the back rest in peace. Yeah. And we're gonna end on that. Yeah. I feel bad. I feel bad that I brought it up, but I just had that Pittsburgh connection, though. Yeah, I'm happy you shared that with us. Yeah, of course. Cool. Yeah, you can find them at Nick Coletti Instagram and Twitter selling out shows and making purist comedians man. Getting money. Slit. Slit. See you

guys next time. See you guys.