The Basement Yard - The Fart Smelling Fetish

Episode Date: April 19, 2016

I'm with @KeithSantagato today to discuss a fan's fart smelling fetish. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. It is Monday April 18th. I don't know the day I read that cuz he is yeah, I don't know the day. Did you know the date? Yeah, and this is my brother Keith obviously So he's on this I know the date you didn't know what today's date was you look like you never forgot a date in your whole life But those are the best days, but you don't even know what day it is there's every day for me I don't know the fuck's going on ever Interesting episode Fuck the day seriously Friday. That's all I care about So by the way Keith's wrapped up in a blanket like a toga not gonna ask questions. He kind of looks like a monk, but

Whatever Interesting episode so a while back I Expressed interest in fetishes. Why because they're interested. I have one. I don't think I have actually I don't want to know So I don't think I have any fetishes. Do you have any fetishes? No, like you don't like no spitting no No feet someone like someone calls you a little pussy like you'd like that little pussy like she Demasculates you yeah, yeah punch me in the nuts. Yeah, how do I dick step on me palette? So um, I asked I expressed I expressed interest in You're just fetishes open the can of worms you don't want no no I do so I was like I want to hear about your fetishes blah blah blah

I don't even remember what it does. It was so long ago But someone finally hit me up with one of their fetishes and I'm so excited about it. What today No, it was a couple days ago. It was three days ago mad late to tell me about their fetish and You know because I think it's very interesting that people are into this stuff that I think is fucking weird because I'm not into it Obviously, but yeah, it's cool to find out what kind of shit other people are into I I like to think I'm very standard across the board like a lot of them. It's like alright I didn't need to know that Sure, but I asked in a way. I wanted I wanted to hear about them, but I think I'm pretty standard across the board

I'm just like, you know Vaginas are sick mouths are great You know, that's what if you feel like it. Yeah on a birthday anniversary, whatever But I don't think I'm too out there. Oh, man with the fetishes. I'm right in the other Can you talk into the mic and not I'm sorry. You're right of me of that article. What was it? Oh, yeah So long but stuff handjobs are back in I was like what the fuck is this? Yeah, that was real That was the title of an article. Well, was that a star and see it later, but stuff It was at a fifth grader wrote that. Yeah, apparently handjobs remember those

I remember the first time someone like grazed my dick in my jeans like in school. She was like, what's this and she touched it I was like, I was like hard for the next week. I was just thinking about it. I was like, yo This was so dope. She she grazed it. She grazed my shit, which is basically like fucking back then I remember seventh grade in Spanish class this girl. I forgot her name. I wish I knew her name because I want to say it Just actually blow up her spot. She grabbed my dick in class and I was like Like she was angry at you. I thought we had sex like I I didn't know I was like that was we had sex I just lost my virginity. Yeah, I gotta go. She punched me in the nutsack. I just lost my virginity Yeah, anyone who got near it. I was like, whoa, if I could just feel the heat from your vision

Like if you were staring at me for too long, I just figured whatever. Alright, so to get into this whole thing I'll give you one guess of what this particular guy is into here wishes to remain anonymous But um, you know, just go ahead guess Keith What do you think it is? Just like anything off the top of your head quick first the fetish that comes your mind boom horses Oh Shit Little nonchalantly and launch a lot Lee you heard me Chalant, you know, I'm gonna give up fuck that word

No, nonchalantly that you said that Horses like immediately snap answer. No Oh This guy in particular He says that he has a fart fetish Which means that he enjoys smelling farts. What that's his shit as he smelled mine after McDonald's He's definitely hasn't smelled mine because they're horrendous. He might pass out and you know, I was like, he will pass He's like, this is a fetish you should talk about and I was like, dude. Yes

Yes, I love it because it's it's it's out there not a lot It's not like a dominatrix thing like you hear about those. That's kind of mainstream now You know, everyone knows sometimes you get whipped in the fucking, you know ass or something you get let uh, what are you? Asless assless chaps assless chaps and you know, they're cold. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got no ass on them Yeah, those are those are pretty mainstream now. Yeah, you know, where else the school but this shit This is the new stuff up and coming so farting. So I asked him like, can you tell me more more about it? He did methane rush. Yeah And he and then so he asked him to tell me so this is what he said back to me

He said so for me, it's that I like the smell of other guys farts. I don't like the smell of my own Ha ha or of girls Which I don't really even know what girls farts smell like who's who girls are farting in front of him I don't know. I mean, I'm assuming if he enjoys it. He's asked a girl like let me try this. Yeah, and then she does it He's like, no, thank you Fart in my face, please. That's probably how it goes But um, he says he prefers the guys to be in pants or underwear of some kind since if it's nude, it's kind of gross to him pink eye

Yeah, or red eye. Yeah, you need some kind of you're too close You need some kind of filter there. You can't just have you know ass particles being blown into your fucking nose Yeah, that's how you go blind. It's no brainer. Yeah, you can't do that He said I can go into the whole backstory about why I like it But to put it simply it's a power thing. I like to be kind of forced to smell a dude's farts power yeah, like he he what he likes to be dominated in a kind of You know, I don't know it sounds like one of his older dude cousins was like come here you nerd

Farts in his face and makes him do it. Oh, and he's kind of like beef stew Yeah, exactly. So you kind of like, you know, that's not bad. I kind of enjoy that. It's not too not too Maybe this is happened to him so much that he like had to develop a You know like a defense mechanism. It's kind of like yeah, he's like immune to it now He kind of enjoys it like got the swirlies and now he's just uh, I think it's weird that he doesn't like his own or It's actually unfortunate that he doesn't like his own because imagine if he did Farting would be great then. Yeah, but that would be just weird like what is he in that weird yoga position? Just farting in his face. Yeah

That would be I mean that would be best-case scenario for it for someone who enjoyed their own farts, right? Yeah, it's uh Um, so I keep those a secret. He did say I do know quite a few people that have the fetish And I've met a lot of them. There are entire websites catered to people who actually like it What? Yeah, I want to know what these websites are. Is there a convention I can go to? I'm sure I mean there's websites for everything man. Does he like animal farts? Dog farts are lethal. Oh my god. There's no way you like smells like a I wonder don't even know This is I wish I had more time to like ask him questions, you know, I mean, I wish he lived in new york So would you stop there at at?

No, he's got he's got more stuff here. We got more we got more coming in. He said coming in hot coming in hot One guy I met up with was visiting from somewhere and the dude was married in shit What but for him his fetish was that he just liked making people smell his farts his wife hated it So occasionally he would find people like me Now This is is it cheating? Is it cheating? If

You're making someone else smell your farts That's my question. Now is it forceful because then it could be a rape because I'm assuming there is some sort of arousal here Would you say I said was it forceful because it could have been a rape fart? It could have I don't know But Was it a wet? Would they make it? Yeah, but I'm wondering if this is cheating like how comfortable is his wife With his husband going out making other people smell his farts if she's okay with that

To me that's like what the fuck I want to give this woman a pat on the back because he said his wife hated it So apparently she tried it. She like got on the bandwagon. She's like fuck it. Dude. I'll try it. I guess she married the guy, right? So tired of you and I wonder if this happened before the marriage or after like they've been married for two years And all of a sudden he's like by the way Dude, I kind of want to fart in your face all the time Anyway, so he goes we didn't do anything else and we were both fully clothed the entire time, which I prefer He just made me smell his farts for an entire day an entire

Day, how is this guy farting all the time? I I'm assuming He has some form of ibs. Did you guys? Eat fast food the whole time the whole like chipotle Like in chimichangas and then just soda all day to keep the carbonation up And then maybe a straw in the butthole just blow an air into it so they could fly out Or or like a milkshake for mr. Softy how many farts are in a day people fart like what I mean 14 times a day I could I could go I could fart a lot. No, I mean I'm I'm averaging like 35 a day. It's not even close

But that's just me. I know I'm not the average person people are probably out there You know letting 14 out a day. I think I heard you for Okay, I heard you fart at least 14 times a day And if you don't fart during out during the day a lot of it comes out while you're sleeping Yeah, so if you're not farting during the day, it's just a big fucking fart mess at night. My dog's going insane right now It's a fucking dog. Jesus um So then he goes like this he goes surprisingly most of the people I've done this with are my friends though

The conversation is different depending on the person and I've been and I've had some people say absolutely not Good a lot of times it starts out like making stupid bets over games and stuff And then I just kind of tell them that I like it So what he just blurs it out. I don't know he says, you know Making stupid bets like I bet I could smell your fart and not throw up or something. I don't know the bet what it is Like I like I bet you the Yankees will win. I'll pay you $50 the fart in my face. Yeah, or yeah Well, I'll get to that. He says He says with with friends. So that was an expensive fetish. Right. Listen to this

With friends charlie. I'm gonna need you to stop. This is very important Please I'm asking no consideration With friends most of the time I end up actually paying them one friend. I actually gave a thousand dollars to for it Is he rich? I don't know I hope he is or maybe he just really really likes was this like a golden fart like what happened I wonder what kind of sort of the golden snitch It would be kind of he had to have known this guy's got like the best farts like his favorite ones Yeah, to give a thousand dollars to you know, she's gonna give that on like

You know, it's like a truffle. You're not gonna just guess and be like, oh this guy looks like he's got good ones It's a really rare truffle But a thousand imagine someone came to you like dude, I'll give you a thousand dollars And you're like fuck. Where is this going? You know, I mean, this guy can ask me to suck his dick or something Yeah, what am I gonna be naked today? It's off wednesday It's 8 a.m. This guy wants me to get ass naked. God damn it. I gotta go to work in an hour, buddy Yeah, so uh, and he goes you just gotta blow one in my face Well, that sounds way that worse. Yeah

You got a fart. You gotta like it was a shit mist. Yeah, you got a you got a fart right in my face And you're just like dude. I'm down. I would do it for a thousand dollars. Are you kidding? Um And you're clothed and then he says this and I do that for free And and you're clothed He goes hey and finally and finally it all started when I was like six, but that's a long story six This is very interesting. He goes six six. So he's been smelling farts for quite some time. Don't know his age but I'm assuming, you know

He's old enough to formulate senses. He's old enough. He's been doing this up quite some time. He's not a rookie He's a veteran. He's been he's been in the game. Dude. He paid a thousand dollars for a fart. Yeah I think he knows He knows what are good and what's bad. Yeah, right? Dude, that's he said, uh, I really got in he said I really got into it and started doing it more frequently in my sophomore year of high school and it's been consistent ever since and You know at that point. I was just

blown away literally literally um Not sure if this guy, uh, fuck Jesus christ this dog almost knocked over the recording really expensive toy you bought here. Joe. Hold on a second Fucking dogs came down here sprinted down here. Now they're on my bed fucking farting in each other's eyes

By the way The reason why I brought up even animal farts before dude animal farts Are you brought it up? Oh dog farts I tried to blame it on you. You brought it up. That was you Animal see So charlie sleeps in a cage next to my bed and one night Dude one night all I heard was like like it's

3 a.m. Or something and for whatever reason i'm still awake and charlie's just sleeping on his back and all of a sudden he I just hear I would have ran upstairs the worst smell ever Dude leaked into the atmosphere and I was just not down. I had to repaint and the worst part is he wasn't He like I was like y'all what the like he was asleep So I couldn't even ask him if it was him like dude was that you he just went about it It sounded like a what I imagine a flash grenade sounds like And then you just can't hear or see

Which was cut like I couldn't hear it's a stun grenade. Yeah, exactly my eyes were burning I had no idea where I was ridiculous. I couldn't like y'all it was the most disgusting Fucking thing and I've actually slept at my friend's house One of my friends he has two rottweilers And they were both like sleeping on top of me And I was like all right, and they're like heavy. They were grown ass rottweilers They're both laying on my legs in my chest. I can't go anywhere even if I wanted to go somewhere if there was a fire I was gonna die because I couldn't get the dogs off me

so These dogs were just blowing farts in my face the entire night. I almost threw up It was disgusting. I want to punch them. I'm like, what the fuck you feeding these It smelled like mcdonald's farts mixed with alcoholic farts Like it was the best an alcoholic frequent mcdonald's eating Fart like a homeless guy passed out in a car and shit himself eggs. That's That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah, there's something like that. Do it. It was and then dirty mic in the boys Yeah

Yeah, man, but that's his farting Fetish and I just want to encourage anyone who has a fetish and listen. I'm not making fun of the guy It's very Dude, all power. Whatever makes you happy. Oh, yeah, dude. Let someone rip a shit in your mouth. I don't care Yeah, just don't pay a thousand dollars. Definitely don't pay a like that's I'll make fun of you like your negotiations Have to be like a lot better. Yeah, dude 20 bucks Like it's a fart. It's like people are gonna do it regardless like yeah, you got to work on your Uh business, you know what I mean? How do you're gonna negotiate deals here? Yeah, like dude, you're already doing it

Just you know, I'm not you don't even know I'm there. It's like 20 bucks I would do it for 20 bucks if someone's like dude fireman phase 20, but I was like, dude, yeah A thousand dollars. Jesus. That's so deep. I would have done way more for a thousand dollars That's like seeing me buy a I would let's pack a gun for 35 My offering me $10 for it. I would let someone rip a fart in my face for a thousand dollars Three farts. I don't like job down right now Oh, shit, we could be naked too. It doesn't matter so

um I I just want to encourage anyone who has a fetish To please come forth. You know what I mean? I want to hear about I actually want to hear these things too I do because they're very I find them very interesting I do think some of them are like, you know, uh, some of them are like out of control Yeah, the farting thing. I'm not I told the guy too. I'm like, listen like any cannibals keep it there We don't want to hear. Yeah, I don't want to hear about how you fuck your parakeets or whatever the hell How do you even pull that off? I dude, I don't know. I'm not

You know, it's like I always see like those crazy Japanese Japanese porn But like anime and they're like blowing dolphins or something. That's not a joke I've actually seen that six girls having sex with an octopus. It's like, all right It's like, dude, couldn't you just stick to people and just get out of the aquarium? So but I just want to keep it out of seaworld folks Yeah, anyone who who likes to fuck animals is like, all right now. I'm not telling you Yeah, but um, if you have a fetish if you have a fetish, I really do find them very interesting Um, of course, they're a little strange to me because I'm not into that. I'm a very standard

Sex person. I'm not that Uh adventurous. I would say I'm Adventurous but not to this extent, you know what I mean, but I'm gonna shit. Yeah, I hope his dog doesn't My dog's like circling like where should I take a big smelly dump? I'll give you a thousand dollars for it. Charlie Shit right in my hand, buddy Um, but yeah, if you have a fetish, please let me know what it is Oh, by the way, you know that that's a thing like people eat shit

Stop it. I swear to god and it's like a sexual thing or they just do it for like, okay now. This is weird But what was it? I was like fucking 1415. You know, you have like one of those friends is just like Is exploring like mad weird sites and shit. Yeah came across this one He showed me it I almost threw up in his face. Oh Like a website. Yeah, it was a website where girls are eat shit Oh two girls one cup. No, it was called poop city Poop city. Yeah, was this a dot-com that we can actually could have been poop shitty

Poop shitty makes more sense. It could have been poop shitty poop shitty. Yeah Wait so like We all know two girls one cup We all know two girls one cup these these girls are are just eating shit out of a cup We all saw that like it was a fucking chocolate ice cream. Yo anyone No, no, no, no, we're not gonna talk about that anyone who got oh my god, dude

Yeah, the first color charlie. That was what it was. Yeah, it was but first of all these two girls Like if you haven't seen two girls one cup. God bless you. You have not been scarred. You know, you gotta pay for it now It's like 20 bucks. Who the fuck would pay for it? I want someone to pay me because I saw that there's some guy paid a thousand dollars for a fart You think no one's gonna pay 20,000 $20 to watch girls eat to watch girls eat shit. That's a drop in the bucket. Yeah, you're right But yeah, if you guys haven't seen it, you're lucky It's disgusting

Um, and it catches you off guard It really does because the thing starts off like your friends are like, oh look at this, right? And I was like 13 at the time So like if anyone's showing me anything that had titties on it. I was locked in Do I do look at this and I saw a tit and I was like, I'm here, you know I mean, I'm not anywhere else All my focus is here and it just starts off these two girls making out and I'm like, this is dope Oh, this is awesome. This is great. And then all of a sudden the one turns around starts shitting into a glass

Dude and not regular shit. It was a small glass too. It was like a martini glass It was disgusting guys. I just I'm I just don't want to like I don't I don't want to um My dog just sat on my foot. What the fuck is going on? He's got a fart Oh god, I thought he was gonna just shit on my foot. I would have thrown him in the garbage No, I wouldn't have but I would have been upset Throw the dog in the garbage. Yeah Go look with that joe. No, I probably would cut my foot off before I threw him in the garbage

Um, that's not but yeah, I'm not gonna get into details about two girls one cup But that's nice to know that poop. There's a lot of fucked up ones along that line though. Oh, yeah All those videos. What was the one that was like five foot four girls finger pain or like something something sandbox I heard there was like five guys slip and slide That sounds like a lot of shit or something I legit made that one up I legit made that one. It sounds like one. It sounds like they all Pissed and shit on a floor and then just decided to go slip and slide and they loved it

But I remember the other one it was like a girl putting a dildo in a guy's dick hole Whoa, yeah, I saw that briefly before and then briefly. I immediately got it. I would have like immediately shut it I probably would have broke the laptop. Well, I was tricked into watching it by who? Ah, I forgot I want to say empty Oh my god Dude Do you guys remember these I feel like I don't know if it's just

Like new york kids because that's all I can really vouch for because we're often new york when we were younger Fucking weird when I was like 13 14 or even a little younger 12 13 That's where you go through that stage where it's like what the fuck all these sites would come out with like the wildest shit like Shit sex pain olympics pain olympics. The guy was like cutting his own dick off god, man And then there was like just like wild stuff. Yeah, it was disgusting, man It was just gross a hatchet to the nutsack. Who owns a hatchet my dick hurts right now just thinking about this Because like I don't know like I don't know if this happens for girls But guys I know this happens like you ever like have you know like a elementary school where it would be like

Lice day And you'd have to go to the nurse and she'd check you for lice or some shit Yeah, and the entire day you'd just be itchy. Yeah for no reason like you just feel itchy because you're thinking about lice stress when you're watching videos about Like dudes getting punched in the dick or like whatever. Oh, you saw that one, right? Yeah, dude, and that's another fetish. It was like an mma fighter too. Like it wasn't just like a light punch It was like a whole what the fuck another fetish is like dudes put their dick and balls in this like wood

Thing and this what picture this what piece of wood it's got a hole in it This guy shoves his dick and balls through it and then this woman Gets underneath it and starts hitting his fucking dick and balls like a speed bag Geez, and the dude's just loving it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's got a train somehow How it's a recession doesn't that ruin Every like you can't have kids like there's no way you're just punching work, but I'm just saying If your relationship is at that level You don't need to have kids. Yeah, I guess that's a lot of it's like

Stop making those and let's go on to somebody else And they have like a safe word If out, you know, that's the red flag if you're ever with a girl and she goes my safe word is yeah, don't stop My safe word is keep going harder No, but dude, I can't I can't if I was with a girl and she had my safe word is I'd be like stop right there I'm out of here. I am not gonna deal with this Because that's all you need you uh What is this? What the fuck are you doing dude? You're ripping up my I think he just ripped your he just ripped my bed sheet

Thank you You this dog is so goddamn expensive I like him. He's going back to the farm. He's furry. He's not going anywhere fucking farm gave him two goddamn parasites I'm a para para parasites Um Worm, what was the island hook worm hook worm? I don't know. He had all these fucking worms I'm so glad he didn't give me one because I would have been pissed my dog when I got him. He was two months old

12 pounds Skinny as could be he was skinny as hell and he had two parasites So I took him to the vet the next day just as like you're supposed to do that apparently Uh That's just like a thing that you're supposed to do take your dog to the vet right away So I took him the next day. She's like, yeah, your dog's uh severely underweight, sir and uh They tested him. He had two parasites

We got him all the all the medication in him and then this dog fucking shot up He's like 25 pounds now in a month. He gained like 13 14 pounds and height and height He's huge. He's probably double and a half on my instagram measurement. Yeah a double and a half You know my instagram, there's a book like uh the first day I got him and then like the day that I took that picture It was like a couple of days ago. He's huge now, man And he's currently biting on all of my fingers And like someone told me They were like dude put uh

lemon juice on your hands And because dogs don't like lemon juice. Uh, now you have heard about that. He'd be like, ew like I don't like that And he won't do it anymore. Yeah, I put lemon juice on my hands This dog was licking it off like it was peanut butter You gotta go with vinegar backwards. You gotta go with white vinegar. Oh, dude. I had a salad today with oil and vinegar garbage How do people like oil and vinegar? You know garbage on a soap like not granted. I don't need subway a lot But but

When I get subway It's like they had Italian BMT Well, actually mom got it The Italian BMT Uh, I got the Italian BMT and uh, do you get oil and vinegar with a little bit of lettuce? It actually makes the sandwich pretty big I uh, I don't know I like I hit there's one dressing that I have on all my salads. Yeah. Catalina dress. No, it's chicken. No, no

Do you talk about subway? Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right chicken chicken teriyaki. Oh sweet onion chicken But all on all my salads. I usually get uh Catalina dressing but today like I'm trying to like, you know, it's funny. It's just probably the worst dressing for you No, it's not Caesar Caesar's like horrendous Caesar, but shout out to see I'm trying to cut back on certain things and um So I was like, you know salad dressing whatever I would just do oil and vinegar And I'm eating this thing and I'm just forcing it down It's gross and people who eat vinegar chips This is the salt and vinegar chips garbage. Oh god

Dude get a cool ranch Dorito. This is the point where Shannon and mom interrupt us. Yeah, here we come They're coming downstairs. They're gonna fuck you in the face. Um, we're gonna wrap up anyway. There's 20. We're 27 minutes deep You know, how long is this supposed to be? Yeah, I like this song 30 minutes something like that, you know That's what they're never no Because to be honest with you, I'm not dragging this out The dog shit So clean it up All right, I'm wrapping up solve the goddamn problem and pick it up

The dog comes down here rips up my bed goes upstairs takes out a nice dump. I'm just glad you didn't dump down here God bless America Um, anyway, he's gonna shit Keith. Where can they find you if they want to contact you? Uh at my house. No, um Uh twitter on my twitter, it's at Keith santa gato and it's the same for My uh instagram in keith santa gato. Nice Um, by the way, people want a snapchat from keith because some girl actually snapchatted me a picture of uh Her and a bra chesticles her chesticles and a bra and wrote

What's keith snapchat? And I didn't answer her because I know you didn't have one But what size? They were pretty they were up there like a d. It was I don't know. It was flirting with a d. Yeah, it was a seedy It was a seedy so they were flat. They look like It was a seedy so they were flat. It was just a seedy Um, anyway, and if you guys want to contact me on twitter at joe santa gato Obviously if you're listening to this, you probably know that it's my twitter

Um, and as always thanks for listening you motherfuckers