The Basement Yard - The Greatest Science Question Ever?
Episode Date: September 14, 2026This one makes you think! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Do you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life?
You know, the same way you can skip an ad?
I get it.
I'm Siaia and I live in Ice Cove.
I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned.
And today, I'm still figuring it out.
Somehow things usually get worse before they get better.
Apparently, that's how I roll.
So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride.
Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem.
Welcome back.
to the basement. Welcome back to the basement yard. You look very pensive over there, Frank.
Yeah, I've had a bit of a tough thinking day. You ever have one of those? It's three o'clock.
You've never had one of those where like you're just like you can't crack like figuring
something out and you're just like fuck. Is it just me? Emotionally or like a like what do you mean?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Come on. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
No, I was driving on my way in today and I was having a thought about science.
Really?
That got you?
It was true.
I was driving and I was on.
I was having a thought about science.
Well, I was, so I'm driving.
Do you ever, when you drive in Manhattan or like you're in Manhattan, are you ever looking around just like, yeah, what the fuck, dude?
In what regard?
Just like, how the fuck is this even possible?
Like the buildings?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I look at buildings and I'm like way too tall.
Too tall, too heavy.
Yeah.
Which like, I didn't even think about like, so first of all, it started with this.
I had the realization where I was just like, when they're making these skyscrapers, they need to account for the strength of the skyscraper.
Like how much weight it is just by itself putting on itself.
And then once it's filled with shit.
Mm-hmm.
So like desks, people, pencils, shit like that.
shit like that.
Right.
That doesn't freak you out
because they're like,
how can they figure out
how many people are going to be in here?
Is this the science question?
No, no, no.
That's...
Oh, this is a different question.
That was just, that's where it started.
Oh.
And I was fucking confused.
And then I was like,
yo,
as we build more shit on Earth,
does the weight of the planet change?
What the fuck is so funny?
Does the weight of the planet change?
Like, does our...
Like, let's imagine our planet is.
like a billion tons or something like that.
Okay. Hold on. There's a good answer to this.
Go ahead.
What the fuck is so funny? Sorry, sorry. I'll control.
But like, does
the weight of our planet change?
Or when we concentrate
our weight in one place more than
others, does it fucking throw shit off?
You mean like
if everyone moved to the northern hemisphere?
Correct. If you put all
six billion or whatever it is now, 8 billion
or whatever amount of billion people it is,
all in one
spot.
I know one spot, but like if you had them all standing next to each other in a combined area,
is the earth going to just be like, oh, um,
what's why?
Joe's got it.
Well, I was just going to say that like, how can the weight of the earth change if you're
using things from the earth to make the building?
I thought that too.
Yeah.
But what if there's materials that we are making ourselves?
which one
we're not making steel right
are we
I mean like
it's not like we're making it from thin air
like we're
yeah like all the materials
and resources that we're using are like
it's like ice is not going to make the water
actually actually
okay you back me up now
giggles McGee is no longer laughing me like I'm a fucking dumb
fuck it's a bad question but if you think about it
we plant trees
and like fruit and that's,
and that starts small.
Yeah, bro, bingo.
And that gets weight.
Bro, think about like, let's say that.
Yeah, bro, bingo.
The whole earth.
Yeah, yeah.
At the same time.
I just want you to know, I'm not,
I don't have an answer.
I'm just working the through with you.
Okay, cool.
The whole earth.
Every fucking apple orchard on the planet
has a full blossom of bunch of apples at the same time.
Right.
That's a lot of apples, brother.
Okay.
Is that fucking shit up?
up because like apples don't like they get made dude like seemingly out of nothing you didn't have a
point and you're taking my point but he is right i mean no my point was there i was in the point
yeah i mean i i i think that like um i i just think that the earth is probably so heavy that like
it's minuscule a ton of trees or something isn't gonna like i mean bro a lot of or or let's let's not even
say so like I understand how like evaporation condensation and rain and all that
shit happens I get that yeah but like what if there is one year where it is
particularly more wet and it and it adds like a lot more water than the next year
does that fuck shit up well okay so the rain the rain that would come from like we're not
there's not rain coming from space.
So the rain is actually, I think, a slightly worse point
because that's just water being recycled from...
Yeah, it's here already.
Yeah, but is it here?
I know it's like, it's here, like water is here.
I know it's sound like an idiot, guys.
No, no, no, no, no, no, this is good.
It's actually a good question because it got, I'm thinking, yeah.
Because like, the water's here.
But it's in different form.
If it's, if it's in its H2O, like non-H2O form,
if it's the hydrogen and the oxygen, and then it combines.
So like, does, if you were to weigh out...
Hydrogen by itself is not water.
I said the hydrogen and the two oxygen.
Yeah, but we're talking about water.
Listen.
Yeah.
If you were to take the weight of those things,
does the weight of those individual things add up to the weight of water?
Like a water molecule, the same as the weight as the separate parts?
That I don't know.
But regardless, those would exist on Earth too.
Yeah.
It's a good question.
But if they are heavier and...
one form than the other, isn't there weight being made?
I don't, like, I think there are things that you can make heavier, but again, I just think
that the weight that were, like a building, for instance, right?
Well, like, steel, I don't know if that's a good example, because I feel like you're just
taking it and forming it.
I get what you're saying, and I know I sound like an idiot.
No, no, no, no, stop.
I have been way dumber on this show.
Yeah, yeah.
But, like, I understand the idea of, like, if you take.
you know, molten, whatever, and turn it into steel.
It's the same amount of weight.
It's just elsewhere.
Yes.
But are there circumstances where, like, we can...
But also, like, what about burning...
Like, if you burn something.
Yeah.
Like, eventually the energy flows up and out of our atmosphere.
If you burn some...
Oh, like a tree?
A tree.
Anything.
Well, like, it's regenerative.
Like, how much weight...
Does the planet lose?
I think, like, for like a wildfire?
Is this a, is this the question, like, does the weight of the Earth fluctuate?
I know, I'm sure it fluctuates to a minisual degree, but does it fluctuate because of human intervention to a point that it could make a difference?
Oh, that I don't think so.
I just think it's too heavy.
Yeah, whatever number I would look up, it would just give me, like, point zero and then, like, X, like, like, like, big numbers.
I just don't think, like, buildings could possibly, like, the thing about the water, just the water, just the,
the water on it. Yeah, dude. Like, that's so heavy that, like, anything else is not,
you're not going to feel the weight of that. Even if you put a billion people.
Because I saw a thing that said, um, I believe it was my boy NGT, NDT. He said,
Neil deGrasse Tyson. Got it. He said, like, if the earth were to stop spinning for a single
second, it would be catastrophic because we're moving with the speed of the earth and it's like
800 miles per hour or whatever the fucking, whatever it is. Yeah. So like,
I'm thinking about it in that terms is like, are there things that as humans we can do with our natural resources to affect the weight of the planet, the speed at which it revolves and or rotates or anything?
I don't know the answer.
I imagine it's no.
Just because of the sheer size of it.
It's very big.
I guess it wouldn't be like measurable or it's probably measurable, we can't feel it.
But we're probably at all times actually making the Earth lighter.
because of like the slippage like you were saying with like making oars into steel and forest fires and
cutting down trees and making lumber like it's there's probably a lot of slippage that way but i don't
think it would not heavier but oh i mean but lighter is that does not necessarily mean it's a good
thing what was the original question can we like are we what was the question the original question
was like when we make buildings are we making the earth heavier oh right yeah which which also like
I mean, I don't know the answer.
Like, to me, it feels like it would...
But also not an unbelievably stupid question,
because things in different states do have a different weight, don't they?
Things in different states?
Yeah, physical states.
States of matter.
Oh, oh.
Gaseous.
Gashis.
Like Ohio.
They're heavier?
No, no, no, no.
Like gaseous, liquid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, like, in theory, if you have a hundred, like, does a hundred tons...
I'm using it in terms of weight.
But, like, yeah, that would be...
I know, I know, I know.
I know.
That's like the thing where it's just like, what weighs more?
A pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?
I'm going to be brave.
The first time someone asked me that, got it wrong.
Yeah.
I think every time I did it.
It's a brick, dumb ass.
They did both 100 tons.
And I'm like, don't tell anyone I said that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even though the answer is the same, pricks weigh more.
You know what I mean?
Well, there's just like an insane amount of feathers.
Yeah, so like it's bricks.
Like, it's bricks.
Yeah, but you get what I'm saying here.
Here's a question.
Do you think there's enough birds on earth to
create a hundred tons of what is it?
Feathers.
A hundred tons of feathers.
I think there are.
Enough birds?
Yeah, brother.
I mean, geese, geese alone.
Bro, go to any park and just look, there's fucking 500 geese.
Yeah, but think about how many feathers you need to get 100 tons.
Yeah, but you pluck them and then they come back.
That's true.
Eventually we will get there.
And then, bro, turkeys?
Turkey's got a lot.
Turkey's got tons of feathers.
How much do you think, how many feathers, like if you took all the feathers off a turkey,
How much is that way?
I imagine it's got to be like a couple pounds.
No way.
Maybe like two, three pounds?
Right?
Is there any way to look that up?
I'm trying to, I'm just, I'm hoping that someone else did the calculation.
If you had a, a 20-pound turkey, if you were to de-feather it, I imagine you'll lose like a pound, pound and a half.
Maybe.
If that's true, then I'd easily a hundred times.
Okay, so apparently,
There are 27 billion chickens on the planet, right?
Forget everything I said.
That's one bird.
That's one type of bird.
That's one type of bird.
And it's not even like a huge one.
That's a relatively small one.
A single chicken has about 8,000 feathers.
So 27 billion times 8,000 is how many feathers?
That's just a number that is a joke.
Yeah.
Yeah, and then 8,000 feathers weigh about 0.25 pounds.
I think the math works out.
0.25 pounds.
So a quarter of a pound.
I think I haven't held a feather in a while.
A quarter.
So I guess the average chicken is a quarter of a pound of feathers, I guess.
But then you got to think of like, what's an average chicken?
Are we talking like American chickens that are like clock motherfuckers?
Yeah, we got big fuckers out here.
Those are the ones that are on like creatine.
Yeah.
And like, this is my meal replacement shake and that's my grain.
It's mixed in with breast milk.
That's crazy.
I would say like planting a seed, that's creating something from nothing, I would say.
Honestly.
I mean,
but you do that in like a...
No, he's right.
I mean, but...
Do you mean, like, why are you saying that?
Like an acorn or something, right?
Yeah.
Can grow a 500 pound or something, right?
Not instantly.
It takes time and the time,
I imagine,
and I'm just using some deduction here.
Not only do things die,
but like,
it doesn't happen instantly.
Like, in the time that an acorn
gets to become an oak tree,
it probably soaks up enough water
and like the,
the earth or,
Round it kind of becomes one with the root system and stuff like that.
It's got a point with the water.
But the wood wasn't there.
Right.
But the wood is made out of this stuff that is, like, it's eating the soil and the nutrients in the soil.
So like, it's a combination of, if you had a cup of dirt, remove the nutrients in that dirt to put it into the tree.
And I guess the weight kind of still.
We should have smoked.
I don't know.
It sounds like we did.
This is a crazy episode.
Well, also, trees are dying.
Like, there's trees that have fell in that time.
It's not like all the trees stay up.
Yeah, but just because they fall.
But if they fall, that the weight is still there, it's not necessarily...
Yeah, but we get rid of it.
Where?
We burn it.
We're chopping down trees every day.
Yeah, but where does that go?
The fucking to make this desk, I don't know.
So it's still there.
The weight.
Wow, that's fucked up that you did that to that tree.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I didn't make this desk.
First of all, you're in front of a desk as well.
We're all in it.
I don't think mine's wood.
No, I mean, it does get confusing, like,
when you think about it in terms of, like, a forest fire.
So, like, look at the forest fires that fucking ravaged.
That disappears.
That's the best thing.
That's the one that confused me,
because think of the, not only the, like, animal life,
but the just plant life that was absolutely devastated
by those forest fires out in California or wherever.
That energy escapes our atmosphere,
unless it stays in our atmosphere,
but I thought,
I don't think the weight of whatever was burned still remains.
I think the answer here that we're getting at is that it fluctuates,
just not on a scale that would affect anything.
But what about the amount of people?
I really don't think so.
So like if you put,
if you were somehow to fit all the people on the planet in a hemisphere,
let's not even just say a country, like a hemisphere.
Yeah.
would that
fuck anything up
if they all jump
and they all jump
and they all jump
and they all go
do you think we can
if we all stood around
Mount Etna
I mean
because how much force
does the average person
give off
bro this is a crane
also I just don't know
if the
I mean you give off
a certain amount of force
when you jump and you land
yeah
so is the average amount of
force that the average person gives off
when they jump in land. If everyone
did it at the same time. If everyone did it at the same time.
I think that would probably be catastrophic. Is that
combined force enough
to fuck something up
with our... I really, it's hard to say
that it was. I don't think so.
8 billion people, bro.
Let's say the average person weighs
but the earth, bro, it's
so heavy. Let's say the
average person weighs like a hundred pounds.
It
wouldn't do anything. It just
Well, the earth, like, how heavy is the earth?
Do you know?
Well, I don't know if that was what you were looking up.
What do you mean?
You got the thing in front of you.
No, no, no.
There are people that X that same question.
It went viral like a while ago about if everyone was in one spot and jumped.
Yeah.
They said no.
But it would cause a humanitarian disaster because there would be eight billion people in one spot.
And there would be.
Right, right.
Well, yeah.
Of course.
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying, like, in terms of like, let's imagine that, like,
no one is harming each other.
Like there's no like, you know, purposeful damage.
Just numbers-wise, someone's blowing their hamstring, their Achilles.
Someone, brother, like, probably like a couple hundred thousand people are blowing a hamming.
That's kind of crazy.
The downward force would shift Earth by less than half of the width of a single atom,
immediately bouncing right back.
That is half of the width.
Not a thing we could see with our eyes.
No, that is correct.
That is insane.
Not with a microscope, probably.
I mean, they could see atoms with microscule.
Well, I'm saying like a cheap one we probably can see it.
Oh, yeah. Sorry, we're not going to be able to fucking...
I'm saying you need the Hubble telescope to see the fucking thing.
And if you want a weight perspective, all of humanity weighs...
The Earth outweighs them by a factor of 10 trillion.
So...
This is a big Earth!
This is a fad fucking Earth!
Let's go!
That's what I'm saying.
It's so heavy that like you would never notice the difference.
I don't think there's enough skyscrapers.
It's bigger than you think.
Since we're here and we're talking about space, which fucks me up.
Yeah. Pull up the planets. Like pictures of them. Which ones is sexiest?
Oh, I don't need pictures to know that it's...
Neptune.
Really? Oh, I wasn't going Neptune.
That's like mysterious and blue. I wasn't going Neptune, dude. I was going like, honestly, like...
Mercury's got something going on.
Oh my god, you're a fucking whore.
Why is that a whore?
Yeah, you're a whore.
Let's see, let's see, let's see. Oh, wait, no, Mercury's...
Oh, who was that?
It's just gray!
I got killed!
I got catfish my planet.
You want the same one?
Pull it out.
All right.
Well, it was like, it's Etsy.
It was like, right.
We also don't know.
Bro, look at Neptune.
Mad, mysterious and horny.
Yo, honestly, you kind of got me there.
But I mean, is, all right.
Do we like Jupiter?
I was going to say, I don't hate Jupiter because you got a mole and she's just like, well, it's up.
But also, would it be like, wait, does Venus look like that?
Would you question my sexuality if I said, Uranus?
I know what you're a Uranus guy?
Well, I'm just saying.
If I say Uranus, then that's going to get clipped immediately.
I mean, no, I mean, I'm, I'm into Uranus.
Bro, low-key, Earth is the sexiest.
Earth is pretty sad thing.
Earth is pretty sad.
Earth is mad hot.
Because she's got, like, she's got, like, a bunch going on.
She's like, first of all, she's got a ton in the, in the southern hemisphere, if you know what I'm saying.
She's throwing it back.
Sorry.
What does that mean?
I'm sorry.
He's got, like, a lot of, like, you know, juice in the caboose, as they say.
Earth's got a fat ass?
Hey, look at it.
I just think it's like, it's a sexy planet because it's like, it's like,
It's got some stuff.
It's got a lot of clouds.
You're kind of right about...
Neptune's got it a little like...
Neptune's like, yo.
It's like a little like...
It's got like an ombre thing going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like blue and it's dark.
It's out there.
It's out there.
I do love Mars is like, we know it, but like we don't fucking have any idea about it.
Venus is kind of like the forgotten planet, in my opinion.
Yeah, but Venus, I don't dislike Venus.
Like it's got like a...
Like a...
I don't know what that is at all.
It's got like a...
Like a spice to it.
Like most overrated planet.
Three, two, one, Saturn.
Yeah, I was going to say honestly.
Like we get it, you have rings, but like, bro.
I mean, they're cool as fuck.
It's 2026, though.
But like, once I found out that the rings are not solid and it's just a bunch of rocks,
I'm like, get this the fuck out of here, dude.
If I can't slide on this thing, what is the point?
If I can't go like this.
Wait, what are they?
Is it like an optical illusion?
No, I, uh, I, uh, I don't know.
I don't know.
What are the fucking rings?
To me, it's like a rainbow.
You know what I'm saying?
We need to write these questions down for if and when we ever get to talk to Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Can you look out what the fuck the rings are on Saturn?
Sorry, I'm done.
Oh, I think it's like a dirt field, actually.
That's what I'm saying.
I think it's debris that's just like going around.
And doesn't Saturn have like fucking a bunch of moons?
Chill out, bitch.
A lot of moon.
Yeah, that's like cheating.
We have one moon.
We have one and we're like pretty pumped.
We're monogamous with our moon.
You guys are fucking people all over the place, Saturn.
Polyamers planets.
Also, surrounded by dirt.
Ew.
You're like pig pen, the stinkiest of the peanuts.
Everyone hated that fucking dirty bastard.
Clean up.
Disgusting.
It can vary from in size here.
So like dust grains, ice crystals, and some sand like boulders.
But some of them are the size of houses, some chunks.
Really?
I mean, what size of a house?
You know, we talk in like a, you know.
Big.
I mean, houses.
They got mansions out there.
And some are tiny.
So wait, hold on. How much acreage is these rings?
What's the property tax?
Yeah, I need to know.
I need to know. Is it cheptic? Well, what are we doing here?
Yeah, I used to think that Saturn was the coolest, but then when you grow up and you find out, it's just a dirty rim.
Saturn just got a dirty rim, bro.
I kind of like how Jupiter's got like a Cindy Crawford thing going on. You know what I mean?
Like, it's got like the mole and it's just like...
Like, if you were to say what kind of hair Jupiter has, it would have like half the hair going over one of its eyes.
And then it just has like a mole poking.
through. Well, the girl that I was in love with, and pre-K had them all, so I was all about it. So, like, Jupiter.
I got to say, I am, I feel so disappointed in Mercury. This doesn't feel like an accurate
picture because when I always thought about Mercury, I thought of like red. That looks like if you
ripped the seams off of a baseball. That's exactly, that's exactly like I have seen that
picture in a porta potty before. Like, it's just a gray ball of dust. Yeah, I don't like that shit
at all. You know what's really fire? The sun.
Well, like, no, it's fine me other pictures of planets. I want to see you know what we do like if the planets were like the green M&M
put on planets with tits which planet got the biggest tits dude. Oh, what about this one where they're numbered?
Oh my god look mercury is like gray dude. That's so disappointing dude. That is really I can't see that. I hate this. I can't see all.
Earth is beautiful.
What's that Saturn?
That looks like a...
I think it's just the shadow.
The shadow of the...
The shadow.
Yeah, the shadow.
Shadow of the day.
Dude, is it superheated twin?
Who? Venus, it says.
Mercury is.
Everyone's so obsessed with going to Mars.
Elon Musk is just like, we have to.
Why aren't we going to Venus?
It's twice as hot.
But it's our...
super heated. There it is.
Oh, hot, extremely hot. Okay, all right. I got it. I got it. I got it.
King of the planets. You know why they called it King of the planets?
It's the biggest one. I also believe because, if I'm not mistaken, Jupiter was like,
they're named after the Roman deities. Oh. So like Venus, Mars.
Well, Jupiter. Jupiter is, is misogynistic. I mean, that's where girls go to get stupider.
No, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.
Oh, so I'm not.
There you go.
There you go.
I shot in TikTok the other old.
Girls go to, um, I, I mean, girls go.
I, I, I, girls go to, you, I, I, I, girls go to, you, you,
Eptune, Mars.
Well, if they say, girls are from Mars, men are from, or women are from, women are from.
Men are from plants.
Oh, fuck.
Jesus Christ.
What is wrong with you?
Yeah, you, you, you, this kid's the fucking word.
Jumpiest fucking fucking the world.
I'm sorry.
That scared the hell out of me.
I almost broke my neck.
He's going to have whiplash.
It's insane.
That was,
that was terrifying.
Girls go to Jupiter.
No, boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider.
Girls go to college to get more knowledge.
That's college.
Not a planet.
But that's what the thing is.
No, it's girl.
If men are from Mars,
women are from Venus?
No,
no, no, it's girls.
No, I think it's Venus because it's like in retrograde or whatever.
Or is that Mercury.
No, mercury is in retrograde.
Girls go to, boys go to Jupiter to get more.
more stupiter, girls go to...
I think it's college to get more knowledge.
No, that doesn't make sense.
It's college to get more knowledge.
Girls go to Mars to get more candy bars.
Grow up, dude.
No one says that.
Hey, girls, go back to Mars.
Get your snickers.
Get out of here, you geek.
I don't think that's one that anyone says.
Girls go to Mars to get more candy bars?
There's gotta be other ones.
Girls come to Mars become rock stars.
Okay, this is insane.
This is insane.
Not it. Sweet. The one that I was familiar with is girls go to college, get more knowledge, and boys go to Jupiter and get more stupider. Knowledge, stupider. And the irony that more stupider. Which I think, well, you know, the irony.
It evens the... Honestly, look at Uranus. Ice giant. You're just like, whoa.
It is sexy. It's a sexy color. It's kind of like it's got a nice color, you know? It's not awful.
Neptune, though, I'm freaking horny. Well, and, you know, the disrespect to Pluto. I mean,
I understand just unbelievable
to amount of just an insane getting cut from
the team for all these years by the way
bro and like after
mad like they gave them a jersey number
and like they were on the fucking starting
like five and then they just immediately
just like you know what honestly fuck you yeah
it's kind of foul dude do we have any
other are there like anthropomorphic pictures
of them do you want me to like find
sexy pictures of the planets?
I didn't well see now I didn't say all that
yeah just just put in a if
planets were, you wrote the plant?
Oh, hold up.
This probably not.
If the planets...
What the hell is that purple?
This isn't right.
This is getting...
This is getting...
This is right.
Josh, dash, dash, don't put this on.
This is muscular anime, like...
If the planets were...
We're hot.
Well, I don't know if that's...
You put the planets as women
and we're getting nothing.
I'm trying.
There's just one...
Yeah, I don't think we're going to find it.
We're going to end up on a site
that we shouldn't be on.
There's this one game where you go around a half.
and you like make appliances turn into like people yeah and then you could date them
ah um yeah dude we got to have a chat or real human person that'd be great too you know
you ever hear about a you ever you ever feel the warmth of an actual one that's hear it
no i think we didn't say here you ever hear oh i'm glad we had a science talk because i i often
had these like science thoughts and um
I need help with them sometimes
I think that was a very crazy way to say
it I'll be honest with you really was on my way
here thinking about
that a science question Greg
Greg fucking scared the shit out of me
so I almost broke my own neck because of your reaction
well bro all I see is just fucking
him just like peer an eye
a single eye across it it's scared
the fuck out of me you never seen those like
creepy pasta videos and shit where that
happens I missed that whole
creepy pasta he would like some
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Back to you.
Back to you.
That was, that was too much talking for me.
I don't know.
That was a little too much.
It was a little difficult.
It's all right.
We talked about it.
I'm glad we're having a science-based episode.
I feel like we haven't had one of those in a while.
You got any other science questions?
I mean, those are some pretty pressing questions that I had, you know, like the fucking
universe scares the shit out of me.
Just as an ever-expanding...
As an ever-expanding and, like, the, in theory...
We're so small.
So small.
Do you wish you were bigger?
No.
I'm good with being a speck.
I'm fine with the size at which I am.
Like...
Like in the grand scheme.
In the grand scheme of it.
We're just a speck.
Yeah, I mean, or maybe we're not.
No, I think it's like well-documented.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Are you, like, positive?
Yeah?
What if there's no other intelligent life in the cosmos?
Then our spec gets bigger.
I would find that insane to believe.
I agree.
Yeah.
But there is technically a chance.
What counts?
Intelligent life.
Yeah, but what does that mean?
Like they're like
They're not
They're building civilizations
Oh like that
Okay
Well I guess
Cause yeah
It doesn't need to be like
Human like animals
It could be animals
Yeah
All right okay
Okay
Like things that have their own language
And they like have homes
That they build
Oh oh all right
Yeah like how birds do that
I feel like it'd be
Yeah
You know what would be cool
The like food from those planets
If they were just like
We're like we show up
Well you don't know
How do you know
Maybe probably
not, but maybe hopefully maybe.
I mean, we could test it at this point and be like,
oh, maybe it's like a new thing that we don't.
Like, what the hell is that?
Yeah, it's just like, we give them a watermelon and they're like,
we can't even figure out how we would be able to eat this fucking monstrosity.
I think it would be the other way around.
I'm saying like them with us and us with them.
Yeah.
Like they put something down that looks like berries,
but they're like floating and like triangular.
Don't you think that if there is other intelligent life out there,
that they're just way beyond where we are.
Like, I don't think there's intelligent life that, like, we're ahead of.
Maybe there is.
I know.
Because in theory, if there was intelligent life that is ahead of us,
then at a certain point...
It's got to be behind.
Someone has to be behind.
Unless we're in last.
That would suck.
But we've got a pretty planet.
Yeah, but, like, that only goes so far.
If space travel was, like, the safest, like, better than anything,
never an accident ever.
And you could go to a different, like, a galaxy.
No.
You know why?
Because I have lived 34 years on this planet not understanding, like, not having to grasp that reality.
Like, if I was born into a world where, like, that was already a thing, then it'd be like, yeah.
Of course.
But, like, in my current, like, I am an earthly being, I'm cool never having to see another planet, ever.
Yeah.
Ever.
It would be hard to imagine that it's like 100% guarantee nothing will happen like you're good
But I feel like it's not it's not even possible I mean
I mean maybe it is I know how they'd get Joe if they were like on Mars the Martians have figured out like
You know how to go faster in a car smaller than an F1 car
And what would get you there
Nothing because you're not open minded
No, I'm just scared.
I'm just scared.
I don't want to go.
You're scared of new things.
I'm scared of, you're experiencing.
I'm scared of not being on a human planet.
Are you kidding me?
Bro, you're gonna tell me.
You don't think looking at Earth would be like the most incredible thing ever?
Didn't, um,
fuck.
One of the,
the astronauts had said that like,
he had like a legit,
like went to the moon,
saw the earth and came back.
and it fucked with him mentally because it was just like every human existence, every problem is all right there.
It's all right there.
And it's like, it's just this little thing.
I feel like if I was able to look at Earth, I wouldn't even like really be able to conceptualize what I'm even looking at.
I would get to scream.
I would like, I'd be like, if I squint real hard, I could see someone.
At Jones Beach?
I know.
Yeah, exactly.
He'd be like, oh, that's, that's New York City.
I think it would be jarring, not just to see Earth, but to see it floating in space, that would be weird.
It would fuck me up.
It's suspended.
So that, that, but then also, like, this is what would fuck me up.
And there's just nothing, but everything.
It just goes.
It just goes.
And that would be the part that I'd be like, I can't look at this.
It's like, let me ask you a question.
Oh, fuck.
Do you think that, like, there is an end of the universe?
I think that they have figured out that there technically is,
but it is ever expanding.
So things can't expand if there is an end.
But what does that even mean?
So I can get to the end of it,
and there's just, like, more forming?
I guess.
You have to wait for it to render in.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like playing, you know, like a 90s video game
where, like, you need, like, the buildings to, like,
look like buildings as you get closer to them.
Yeah, so technically they know that the entire, all of it together, has a shape.
It's like Minecraft.
It's like Minecraft.
So then if it has a shape, there's like parameters.
Yeah, but it keeps expanding, but it does have like...
So, like, say it's like, it's like this, but it's just getting like this.
Yeah, it's still a shape, it's just...
Right, yeah.
It's keeping its shape.
Like, if it were to do this and then go...
But, like, we're fucked.
I don't...
And I know that we don't know the answer, but like, doesn't it...
stand to reason that there is something outside of that.
Yeah.
We don't know yet.
I mean, but it stood to reason that there was nothing before it.
So if there was nothing before it and then it is becoming something,
what is the definition of nothing if it's nothing?
Something.
No, nothing is not something.
It's nothing.
No, nothing is something.
Nothing is the lack of something.
The lack of something.
No.
Yes.
Yes.
Close your eyes.
What's that?
That's not nothing.
That's something.
I can't, I could.
What does nothing look like?
Nothing is, is a, is a, it's abstract.
It is not physical.
Mm.
Because it's not like, you can't like,
nothing, you can't have something that is nothing.
Nothing is the absence of something.
But even that is something.
No, it is not.
Nothing.
What it is nothing.
I guess in an abstract sense,
but on a physical material level,
it is nothing.
Nothing is not something.
It's nothing.
There is nothing which makes it nothing.
People are going to be pissed at this.
It's like, should we go, should we?
People are going to be upset.
But isn't that true though?
Yeah.
I mean, it's too big for me.
But the only reason, the only reason nothing because it becomes something is if there is an observable thing,
sound, light, something tactile, something, you, you,
Like something that our earthly senses can figure out.
If there is nothing that can do any of those things, is it there?
It's nothing.
It's easier to believe, and I get it, that, like, there is nothing out there.
Like, it's just so much easier.
No, I think it's easier.
But I think that we've proven that that's not the thing.
I know.
I think we've proven enough of, like, we don't know,
which is scarier than proving either way.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it would be kind of crazy.
if we really got good at space travel
and we keep visiting planets
and there really is nothing else
and it's just us.
Well, someone said,
I forgot who coined it,
forgive me,
my caps off to them.
Like, either we are alone in the universe
or we are not.
Both answers are equally as terrifying.
And it's fucking true, dude.
No, that equally.
Yeah.
I think it would be cool,
it would be the only ones.
Oh, I think it's way scary
to be the only ones.
What do I care?
I think it's also scary,
but like you're not,
thinking that it's scary to not be alone
because then you're just like, cool, we can learn from other civilization.
Other people are thinking like, oh, they can
fuck us up. Yeah, I think, yeah.
Don't you think that if, like, there's a reasonable
responsibility that if an alien did show up
and they land and we start talking and they can't communicate,
we're both like, what is this about?
You know, it's like, you mean?
Yeah, it's like, it's like, they have, oh, like,
they're going to be like, bro, this is not.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, that's what it would be.
Unless they've, like, done this before.
Well, I think I saw the thing that makes me believe that there probably is is just like a numbers based like the the astronomical
Like odds that we are the only like yeah, no the only is just it just doesn't make it's got to be a ships flying around
It's like it's like it's like it's like it physically from a number standpoint is impossible if you're talking about physically from a number standpoint is impossible if you're talking about physically from a number standpoint
point when you piggyback off that off of like your like your dad and mom sperm and egg meeting
and you being made it's like when you piggyback the odds of the earth happening life on it and then
you being here it's a number that doesn't exist oh it exists it's just incomprehensible to
it so like we gave it a stupid silly name like a smorky you know like where like the number it's like
measurable it's like so many zeros that it's like a billion zeros or some shit like that
that.
Yeah, I can't even imagine.
And then that's what I was going to say.
Like, if Earth is the only place that has, like, intelligent life form, then the odds
of being born on that planet in an ever-expanding universe and being the sperm that met
that egg.
And, like, your existence is, like, the rarest possible thing.
And not only is your existence the rarest, but every decision that you have made to make you
the version of yourself that you are
is so
like it's
unbelievably special.
And that's why I was
you know like when people are just like you are special because
of this it's like yeah.
Yeah dude. Just like looking at it from a numbers
perspective like that. Yeah it's crazy. It's gonna
fucking and again
I'll tell you this and I know I always do this
it gets crazier once you have kids
because I look at my
three children and I'm just like
the odds. How is it that? I
the odds that you are you
and I am me to you
and you are like
it fucking
imagine trying to explain that to your daughter
like I am the you of me
and you are of mine
you are of mine of the universe
and like the fact that we have gotten
to you and me in the same time
is crazy
crazy
gonna crack something open
I need to I'll be honest with you
if I've ever needed a drink on this episode
it's right now because this fucks with me.
Yeah.
Doesn't it?
Um, yeah.
It's like hard to comprehend, but I don't, it doesn't, it's not really like scary.
If anything, it makes me feel like happier in my existence of like, it's so rare that you'd be able to do this.
Yes.
You know what I mean?
But also, like, it doesn't scare me.
It's just like, it's so difficult to wrap my Terran minds.
around.
Terran.
Yeah.
What's that mean?
Terra.
That's like the name, like the...
I don't know if it's Latin or what, but that's like the name of Earth.
Terra.
Oh.
It's also what they call us and Gardens of the Galaxy.
Yeah, so what.
How about that?
How about so what?
You got an issue with it?
No.
No, I don't.
My Terra mind.
Yeah, no.
Gosh, what a crazy...
Shout out to the planets.
What a crazy thing, dude.
It's way easier just to go like, oh, yeah.
And then you crumple that up and you just toss it.
somewhere else.
All right.
I still would like to
of all the planets.
Of all the planets.
Yeah.
Who would have the most
annoying people from that planet?
That's a good question.
I mean,
I think Saturn.
Oh,
I wasn't even going to say Saturn.
I think just like,
you know.
Isn't Jupiter the biggest?
I feel like it would be Jupiter
because they're just like,
we're the biggest, dude.
Yeah, but Saturn has like,
Saturn is like bougie.
You think?
I think so.
The ring?
All those moons and the,
the rings and like...
Well, doesn't Jupiter have the most moons?
I don't know, probably.
Who's got all those moons?
I don't know.
They all do.
They all got a lot of moons.
They got like 70.
Why don't really you got one?
This is bullshit.
Do we have one?
I hope we don't have more.
No, we got one.
Oh, you're going to upset the moon.
No, I'd be embarrassed of my lack of moon knowledge.
To my understanding, we have one moon.
And I'm fine with that.
We can see this shit.
Like, it's always better to have just one.
Yeah.
Because then like, oh, yeah, name all your moons.
You know?
I don't need that.
It's just way too many.
You know, just have one beautiful moon that you love.
It loves you, and things are going well.
Yeah.
You know, keep a small circle of moons.
You feel differently, don't you?
No, it makes sense.
What I'm thinking about now is, like, if we're still in space, is like, okay.
The moon was created because a big asteroid hit the Earth.
What's up?
The moon was created because a big asteroid hit the Earth.
A chunk went up there in the moon.
Boom.
That's what happened.
What?
I don't know.
Wait, what do you think the moon is?
It's like an asteroid hit the earth and a chunk of the earth went up and that's what made the moon.
That's what you're saying.
So this is the topic of contention here on the episode.
You think that.
Is that not what it is?
I don't.
I don't know.
He thought it was the Grand Canyon.
I thought it was the Grand Canyon.
What?
Like the asteroid hit the Earth and the Grand Canyon, what we know is the Grasier.
Grand Canyon went into the air and it's now our moon.
That was years ago, by the way.
I don't currently think that.
I'm just like...
Well, I mean, that's not very different than what I said.
No, it's not.
And that's why I'm, again, like, what part of the earth do you think that...
Oh, I don't know.
But wouldn't we see a giant hole the size of the moon?
I think it's a collection of sediment.
Where'd the moon come from?
I think it's...
Bro, I don't know.
There's endless options.
Guys, guys, guys, guys.
I think it's a collection of sediment.
Guys, guys.
I don't think it's just like...
I think that it's like a space rock that entered orbit
and it eventually just spins around our shit.
And it became like a perfect sphere?
Yeah, I mean, I don't even know if it is.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Where are my moon truthers out there?
Wait.
I mean, when you said it was the Grand Canyon,
you basically are saying that.
That was years ago that I made such a dumb,
had a dumb opinion like that.
I'm not...
Now I got to...
Now you're going to look it up
because you don't trust his looking up skills?
Well, it's...
There's a lot of theories.
I didn't realize it was theories.
Oh, see?
A lot of people who say it's fake, by the way.
Made a cheap.
So I think, like, what you're thinking of,
because this is what it says that, like,
something hit Earth.
Yeah.
But that thing, part of that,
not like a piece of Earth.
So it's like it's space rock.
That's weird that that could just happen.
A proto planet.
called Thea?
Yeah, I saw that.
Smashed into the early Earth in a massive impact.
And then,
which happened, right?
That sound, I imagine.
You know what's even crazier?
Forget about what it actually is.
The fact that we could say, like,
I think it's this.
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah, I don't know.
Scientists are just like, you know,
how do you apply for a job to be like,
you need to help us figure out what the fuck that thing is up there?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Help us figure out the fucking moon.
Like you're just like thing of stuff
You're like by the way
Fuck is that
By the way
Hey what are you doing for work today
Pach figuring out the moon
Have your kids ever asked you
What the moon is?
I don't think so
The only person
Like whenever they see the moon
They get very excited
Yeah
But I don't think they've ever really asked
And what is that
I'll be very honest with you
I'm sure what you would say
I don't know what I would say
It's a it's a
Well it's not a planet
It's like a collection of sediment
Have they actually
Sediment
to your daughter, hilarious.
Have they ever asked
like space questions?
Miles used to ask them all.
Miles would ask crazy shit
and I wouldn't even be able to.
He'd be like, what is space?
There was one time where Becca was on a car ride with him
and he was just quiet and he goes,
where is DNA?
Brother.
And like, Becca was just like,
it's time to go to school.
You know what I mean?
Like, how do you answer that?
Where is it somewhere?
I believe it's everywhere.
enough I mean but I'm saying like is there a spot where it is like oh it's in the bone marrow
there is an answer spinal fluid
sure or is it in your blood it's got to be in your blood I imagine it's in your blood
it's in parts of your hair so it's in the follicle but it's not so it's your whole body
but not because it's not if you were to cut a piece of my hair off there's no DNA in there
wait isn't there I think in the in the follicle there's DNA
so like you ever pull a piece of hair out and you see a little white bone
on the end of it.
That's the DNA in there.
Why would they...
Wait.
It's...
No, no, no, don't give us an answer.
Okay.
Is it somewhere, though?
Yeah, of course it's somewhere, dummy.
It's somewhere.
I mean like a specific one place.
It's like in your spine or...
And then it goes out to everything else.
Well, I just, this is my question.
Imagine your DNA and your job is to like go into semen.
Like, hey, did you get...
Hey, DNA, did you get a placement?
Where is it? What is it called with like?
It's like, oh, I'm in the nuts.
Yeah.
Like, what is it called where, uh, you know, like people go out for what?
Missions.
Not missions, but like where they're stationed.
Oh, okay.
Where it's like, yo, I got my station.
Where are you?
Oh, yo, I got tits.
I got tits.
And you're like, yo, I'm in the nuts.
I'm in the semen.
This sucks.
Oh, dude, that sucks.
I'm in the teeth.
Yeah, it's like you're not going to last long in there, brother.
Is there not DNA?
I mean, DNA is in the blood.
But is there, I mean, isn't it?
I think that there is DNA.
Is it blood or is it more specific than blood?
Do you want to start me start giving hints?
Yeah.
So that's wrong.
So, okay.
Well, the answer is yes.
It's in the blood.
It's in everything.
Well, the answer is yes.
It's in everything.
It's all part of it.
The answer is, like, the answer is.
So like if I had dandruff, dead's DNA.
Ooh, that's a good question because it is dead skin.
Dead skin.
Is it dead?
DNA is found inside almost every cell in the human body.
Ha.
It's everything.
It's everything.
It's everything.
So it's in, I mean, you are getting stationed.
So, so, yeah.
Some people end up in the finger and the other end your ass.
Like, yo, DNA, congrats, brother.
Where are you going?
It's like, I'm going into human fecal matter.
Yeah, I am, I am literally in the ass.
What about you?
And it's like, I'm, I'm in the ear, you know.
That's whack too.
I guess skin.
Skin's a good one.
That's like the best.
That's like when people get stationed in skin, they're like really.
Yeah.
Now that we can, now.
Blessed with this new information that DNA is absolutely everywhere,
every part of the cell.
Uh, how does anyone get away with a crime?
Yeah.
How is that possible?
Yeah, that's a great question.
That's insane.
Because, I mean, one of the, I forgot the name of it, but there's like a, like a rule,
uh, contact tracing is like everything.
Like you, anytime you commit a crime or go somewhere, you leave a part of yourself behind.
Physically and emotionally.
So we're everywhere.
We're everywhere, baby.
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Why that we're doing this such a big science episode.
It's so much sigh.
It's been a while since I've talked about sounds.
To be fair.
these are science questions that we're not going to get in our daily
like we're not going to get answers in our daily live you need to seek these things out
yeah yeah you need to watch the documentary i watch on mushrooms that'll
becka watched it and and she was like blown away
you're like oh my god our entire fantastic fungi right yeah so or a fungi as they say it
sometimes do they i don't care the guy in it when you see them you're like yeah that's a
mushroom guy yeah yeah yeah
He's got like a hat
You're like, what is that?
I've always enjoyed mushrooms
There's a place that we
Like, we went to a farmer's market once
And they have like, they do like their own like mushrooms
And they do like pre-package and it's like
You get lions mane
You get fucking
Quariceps which I was like, uh-oh
Yeah, chill out with those
I was like, uh-oh
You know, a bunch of shit like that
But mushrooms are fucking crazy
Because guess what?
We've become one eventually, right?
In some capacity
Like, don't, isn't there a thing that was like we share DNA with mushrooms?
I just found out where my DNA was.
I thought I saw something that's like we shared DNA with mushrooms.
And then like we also share DNA with bananas.
I'll try.
I don't know.
Do we share DNA with bananas?
Don't put we, put humans.
Right.
Well.
You got to specify because, you know.
Bananas share roughly 50 to 6.
60% of a gene level
similarity with humans.
What's that about?
Dr. Mike is screaming at his screen right now.
I don't even know what that means.
We're part of the, yeah, I don't care either.
Like, I just heard 50 to 60% and I was like, we're 50% banana.
Yeah.
Oh my God, I'm 50% banana.
That's how misinformation starts.
What about?
It's because of like the protein and DNA makeup.
It's more like the model.
So like what makes...
I can't do this.
Yeah, it's like I would need to go, I would need to be more in depth
and I don't feel like it would help anything.
Yeah, I think it would just throw us.
Do you remember what DNA stands for?
Yeah.
No.
I believe it's like dino-rubobionucleic acid or something like that, or something like that?
Or dino-rubonucleic acid?
Dino?
Am I right?
No, that's for dinosaurs.
You want to try it?
It's D-O.
D-O.
Sorry.
Okay.
Dio-Rubio-Nucleic acid.
I'll put it up.
You guys try.
Oh, it's that bad?
No, but...
DNA stands for...
Well, that's not what you...
Well, you're not off.
Yeah, deoxy...
Is that an R?
Dioxy ribonblucleic?
No, I can't read that.
You need to zoom and enhance, computer.
That is...
Enhance. Computer enhanced.
Deoxy...
Dioxy ribonucleic acid.
Yep.
Deoxy ribonucleic acid.
That was great.
I crushed that.
Yeah, you did.
You're a scientist.
Cress that.
You messed up on the acid a little bit.
It's a long molecule in your cells.
I don't even know what that means.
I will say the shape of DNA.
Fire.
Dude, pull up.
Do you remember when we would like learn like the body parts of a cell?
Like the mitochondria?
Those shit look, that shit looked delicious.
Well, mitochondria?
Yeah, you don't remember it would be like, it was like that cross section.
No, no, no, no.
DNA, we get it.
We've seen Jurassic Park.
Oh, you want to do the cell?
Look up like the anatomy of a cell.
Hell yeah.
You're going to tell me you saw this and you were just like, yeah, that doesn't look amazing.
Oh, yeah, it looks like a, like a wonderball.
Like, yeah, it looks like a jawbreaker.
Brother, get off of Walmart.com.
Who that shops at Walmart is buying?
I was trying to find a pretty picture for you.
What was that?
I don't know.
Oh, there it is.
What are they selling?
Yeah.
All this is in there?
Yeah.
Look at the mitochondria.
So sick.
Citoplasm.
What was the powerhouse of the cell again?
The mitochondria.
It was the, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, it was the, my, my,
Yeah, cytoplasm, I don't know what that is, but that shit is fire too.
Yo, a nuclear pore.
A Golgi apparatus?
Golgi, I think it is.
Well, I think it's Golgi.
Paroxum.
Dude, that's everywhere in all of our things.
Ribosomes, isn't that like in cereal?
Riboflavin or whatever.
Riboflavin or whatever.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. People are screaming about that.
The nuclear envelopes?
Cillium.
We got one of those out here.
That one I've heard of cillium.
lysosome
That's a good one too
The nucleus
Just looks good dude
I'd bite into this shit
Like if they made
That looks like a pickleball
What if
Dr. Mike if you're watching and listening
This is for you for free
By the way
We can get in on this
He'll give us a cut of the royalties
What if you make like
Science
Serial
He's
Like
I feel like this is a different science
He's a fucking
family doctor
He doesn't deal with cells all day
It's funny
But like what if they started making like
Because you remember when they made like the plushies that were STDs
What?
You never seen those?
No
Like they made a plushy that was like
They made a plushy
This is chlamydia
This is gonorrhea
And what did they look like?
They look they have like little smiley faces and shit on them
And they were just like people
No they were like little like germs
And they were used for like teaching purposes
But what if they did that
But for like cereal
Hmm?
Made...
Wait, what are you talking about?
Made what?
Dolls for cereal?
No, no, no.
Like cereal, but of the powerhouse of the cell.
So they're called like cellios.
We can work on the name.
That's not the part.
So you're saying like each one is like a big ball
that's filled with a bunch of shit.
Yeah, like the bowl is the cell.
And then like the cereal itself is like,
oh, there goes the ribosome.
Yeah, you don't remember these?
These are the STD plushies?
Yeah.
All right.
Who is who?
It's a good question.
I'm trying to find it.
Tainted love.
What a name.
Tainted love?
Oh, here we go.
Okay.
So herpes, syphilis, chlamydia.
Oh, I would have thought the green one was gonorrhea.
Got me there.
So they would use these for like, educational.
Yeah.
Yeah, they'd be like, this little cutie doesn't look so cute once you got it on your balls.
Well.
What does this help?
Like, what did, I'm not going to look my.
I think that it's probably too.
to make people feel better about STDs.
The clap? That's crazy. What is the pox?
I think that's, we just saw that. That was, um, syphilis?
Cephalis, yeah.
I've never heard of the pox.
Yeah, I've never heard of that either, to be honest with you.
Herpes looks cool.
Like a little, like an egg or something, like an egg star.
I can't read any. I can't read any of this. Yeah, it's too small.
No, yeah, it's, I was just saying.
Yeah, I think this is too, um, what's the thing?
it called, I was going to say decriminalized, but that's not what I meant.
Nah, that ain't it.
To make it more, like, socially acceptable.
Like, these are STDs.
It's fine.
Everything's okay.
Hmm.
They also made them for, like, this is what the, you know, like the common cold looks
like and stuff like that, which I guess that makes a little bit more sense.
I do like looking at that type of shit.
Oh, germs?
Shit under microscopes is so fire to me.
When's the last time you looked through a microscope?
Or a telescope.
A telescope?
It's been a long time.
Been a minute?
I mean, I definitely have looked through a telescope more recently than I have looked through a microscope.
Microscopes are crazy because you're just like, that's fucking everywhere.
Yeah, like, this shit is moving.
That shit is everywhere.
Like here there's like, oh, there's a ton of shit.
And like, if you had the ability to like see it as the germs like crawling and shit like that, you?
Mr. Creepy Crawley guy, you don't like it, you wouldn't be able to touch anything ever again.
Am I killing things by doing this?
I would like to think so
Why?
Wishful thinking
You want to be able to kill?
Well, because like
If I go like that
The bad ones are away
And it leaves like a clean spot
I know that's not how it works
But I wish
You know
Can we kill
I think my head hurts
Can we kill cells?
Yeah, of course
There's dead cells
But like can I
Am I killing him?
Is he a murder?
Am I a murderer?
Is he a criminal like your dad?
What do I look up?
It's impossible.
I don't know, bro.
Kill the cells.
Can you, can, if I, if I slap a surface, does it kill cells?
Yes, I like that.
I like that one right there.
There's no way anyone has ever typed that into Google.
I think you might Google something for the first time.
Oh, it doesn't.
We're safe.
They've got tough walls.
My slapping fails to kill cells.
I thought I said slapping walls.
You ever, like, you ever try to crush an ant?
Sometimes even when you step on it, it doesn't really work because they're too tiny.
That's a great point.
They get in the crevices of our hand.
Like, they could probably find their way within the ridges of our...
They're in your finger prints.
Yeah.
Now, if anything, I've just completely opened myself up to an attack, a, you know, biochemical attack.
Oh, when you really think about it, you're just crawling with things.
Things are just all over us.
There are TikTok accounts that, like, just show you hyper-climate.
up images of shit
and they fucking ruin my
day. I actually like that. What I don't like
is the heat map shit. I can't.
Heat map? It's like they show
when you like flush a toilet
it's like it looks like a fucking
volcano erupts. It gets all over your
toothbrush. I'm like guys
I don't. Or like black light.
I was going to say would you ever
just take a black light and go into your bathroom
and like shut the lights and see what it looks like?
I mean we
have a lovely cleaner that
helps do a deep clean. Yes, and I'm sure they do a good job. But I'm sure there's some
spots that look like people are killed. But let's say, all right, how often does your cleaner come?
Probably like once every two or three weeks. Okay. Whatever is the middle time where it's like
they have not been there the longest. The day before they come. Sure. The day before they come.
This looks probably looks like a emergency. Go in there and just like maybe do that and and see what
happens. See what happens. I'll just do my whole apartment and just see like, yo, what's going on.
well we don't need to do all that we were just you know the dude what about you because you just
moving to a new house if you do that like in your basement you're like yo it's like a big spot right here
oh i'm afraid of that it's like yeah there was uh we got the house cleaned before we moved in and i was
like can't clean blood yes you can yeah you can't believe you brother you absolutely can but they didn't
or what if like it was like a random spot on the walls or the ceiling and you're like you know what's
it's just like a body, just like that or something like that.
I mean, I'm calling a, there's a, there's a, there's a, it's written.
Don't fucking do that.
It's a secret.
Please stop.
Please stop.
It's like, you found it.
Now get out.
No.
Yeah.
Yo, I would leave.
Or you hold it up and it's just like a drawing of two eyes.
No, that wouldn't fuck me up as much.
Or like, if I, if I held it up and there was just like a map.
A map.
A map of like the house and like an X over one room.
Truthfully.
like be as honest as possible
if you took a black light into your basement or whatever
and there was a message written on the wall
and it said get out
I am what would you do
you're not going to sell your house
I'm letting you know right now I am
saying nothing
but I am fully
manipulating Becca and to get someone in there to pray over the house
or some shit oh you would go right to his spirits
I mean like I would just be like
this is out of my
This is out of my league.
You would get an exorcist.
I just feel like that would be like the first place to go.
I mean, it depends.
Like truly, truly, truly, though.
Joking aside, I would probably call the cops.
And say what?
I would just be like, listen, this is what I found.
I don't know what this was written in.
Yeah.
Send someone down here to test this shit.
Because like, who knows what cold case that could possibly solve?
Would you text the old owners?
Do you guys put a message on the wall?
No, no, no, no, no.
Because then if they find it, then they're like, you have found it.
The game is on.
TikTok.
And then I'm like, no.
Do you take the wall down?
Like, what do you do?
Yeah.
I mean, I'll be honest with you.
Or what if this?
It's an arrow.
Stop trying to fucking scare me, Joey, please.
This isn't going to happen.
But if there's an arrow to a certain spot in the wall,
and it's like, would you like, yeah, we got to open the wall?
Well, I'm, I'll be honest with you.
We are currently in the process of getting our basement redone.
Oh, baby.
So like I kind of will hope to only remember what you're telling me to do after it's already
dies.
Be like, oh, oops.
Yeah.
Oh, no, I have no idea what you're talking about actually.
But if you paint over it, because like we painted like our room and stuff like that,
will it go away?
Really depends what they used.
A latex based paint.
Well, if it's a demon, it doesn't matter.
Oh, yeah.
They're going to find their way through.
They're writing messages.
God.
But if I'm a demon, I'm not writing a message that you can't find.
Yeah, it's going on the bathroom mirror.
Yeah.
Black lights are like out.
Yeah, who the hell still has a black light.
Yeah.
That's like any time I hear in the news that like someone got in trouble for a laser pointer, I'm just like, it's 2026.
Yeah.
Who the hell still has one?
It's like dying in a lava lamp accident.
Exactly.
What are we doing?
What year is it over there?
You died by pog.
I, you know, like, why that still happens?
Died by POG.
I'm, me and Nicole are going on like a road trip in the winter and we're going to Salem.
And not the time to go, brother.
Go to her and home.
That's when we're going.
Oh, you said the winter.
Did I say that?
Yes.
Oh, I just spent like a round.
Yeah, it was like in October.
Okay, okay.
But they have like a bunch of like ghost tours and shit.
There are places in Jersey that have that.
She's super into it and I'm just like, brother.
Bring one back with you.
Like I'm going to have to do it.
But the entire time, I'm just going to be thinking about the I think you should leave skis.
Yeah.
Like, Drew Henry.
Yo, they must get that all the time.
I imagine they do.
These fuckers blast out of the wall.
Just their giant hawk of horsecock.
I feel like, yeah.
There's a place in a town called Asbury Park.
They do like a big, it's like a big thing for them.
They do paranormal tours.
And not for me.
She found one where it's like you like have a device.
I'm like, bro, I'm not going to be devising.
I knew people that did that on my college campus.
So there was like one building on my college campus that people claimed was haunted.
It was the oldest building on campus and it was...
But like people lived in it?
No, so it was used for offices.
Okay.
But it was the oldest building on campus and reportedly it was an orphanage before it became a college.
It's not good.
And they would do like, they'd call them hunts.
So they would go in at like midnight and stay there until 3 a.m.
And they'd have their thing.
They would have the thing that like took a flash picture and like lit up.
Super fuck that.
I'm not about it.
Super fuck.
Not about it, bro.
Yeah, nah.
I will say there was one time where I thought I saw someone,
but like it was during the day, so I was just like,
it probably was just someone.
Wait, like in the building?
Yeah.
And no one's in there.
Like, it was like, there was no one around.
Like, it was one of those buildings where like,
if someone was walking by, you heard them because it was all old wooden floors and
shit like that.
And it was just like, what was that?
Oh, man, I don't like that.
Because of what the building was and it's, it's reputation.
and people just immediately thought like it's a ghost.
It's always like orphanages or like an insane asylum.
An insane asylum, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There were a bunch of those out.
Remember, it was like a rite of passage.
We said this not long ago.
Like, it was like a thing on Long Island where it was like,
are you going to the square manor?
And it was like an old and insane asylum.
Definitely it wouldn't do that, honestly.
Well, because they are probably used as like encampment for the unhoused in Minecraft.
just want to make sure we're covering all our bases there.
Wow, that was unbelievably.
Unbelievably safe.
I don't want to offend.
I just want to be safe.
I want to jump.
Oh, so there's like a bunch of people who like live in there?
I believe that's the case.
So that would be, that would explain the, uh, that would explain the noises.
First of all, if I'm living in an old hospital.
Yeah.
And there's kids coming in there and they want a thrill.
I'm giving it to me.
Hell yeah, brother.
Oh, get out!
You know, like, of course you gotta be like.
You know, like, I'll just start whispering around corners and shit like that.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
There's one guy on TikTok who will go into, like, those areas, but he'll play like Keshah.
Yes.
Oh, I've seen that.
He's just like showing them timber for the first time.
I hear your heart.
Yeah.
And it's just like, I know, all right spirits, this is Keshah Timber.
Boom, boom.
That shit's funny.
I'm going there.
Yeah, no.
So, yeah, I guess I'm doing a ghost tour.
I'm going to be...
Are you going to be like, are you going to fully give yourself into it?
100%.
Or are you just going to be like skeptic just so you don't get scared?
I'm going to do it for her and I'm going to be bought in for me.
Like, I'm going to be like, all right, so this is it.
So you'll physically show up for her, but mentally show up for yourself.
Because now it's like, if I'm showing up, then like, okay, let's get something out of this.
Gotcha.
Because I can't.
You know, like, it'd be good to be, like, if I come back here, I'd be like, bro.
Yeah.
My device was going crazy.
There was a picture.
A spectrometer?
Is that what they call it?
Or what's that?
I don't even know.
I think it was something with an acronym.
EKG.
No, definitely not.
You sure?
Isn't it an EKG for your heart?
It's for your heart.
Yeah.
What's it called?
I mean, I know like the Ghostbusters stuff.
No, I have no idea.
EMF.
EMF.
That's right.
EMF, which stands for?
It's an electronic magnetic field.
force.
Yeah.
You gotta use a spirit box.
Oh.
Is that like a,
it's like,
it's,
no,
it's,
the thing where it's,
it picks up signals,
but it gives like random words out sometimes.
You ever see those?
Yeah,
it'll be like,
soup.
Yeah.
And then just be like,
it's,
it's like,
you like soup?
They're like,
yes.
Yeah,
yeah.
Yo, pull up one of those TikToks,
please.
Where?
I don't know.
They're not even this.
They creep out.
I don't know, brother.
The spirit,
it'll be like,
it'll be like,
it's random.
Like,
Dude, sometimes on TikTok, I'll find myself watching people like spirit box hunting in the woods at night.
And it's random words sometimes.
And it'll just be like, run.
It's like, yo.
Yeah, yeah.
Bro, you know what happened to me?
Yo, if I heard a run, if I heard a run, not only am I running, but if I fall down, I'm just digging as deep as I can.
Just in the ground.
Yeah, like, I just got to get away, I guess.
Just like, no!
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my God.
I mean, if I was in one of those situations and I heard, like, of.
voice tell me to do something. I'm doing it. Like, run, get out, leave. Like, you ever, I'd be like,
where, which way? Which way? I'll go right now, tell me how quick you want me to leave. Yeah. It's like,
sometimes people bring it while they're cleaning graves. You ever see those people sometimes? Like,
they're like, yes, I've seen like, they'll like scrub them, but they'll leave it there and it'll just be like,
thank you. Yeah. Fuck all. Bro, it's weird. I'm telling, I mean, I'm not saying it's real. It's called
the spirit box. I don't know. Look it up, brother. Find it. The internet. Well, I'm saying,
I could buy one. Like videos of it would be weird.
Bro, let's put one in here during an episode.
Frank, stop.
Yo, let's do that during an episode.
Not this.
Yeah, so it's like this little thing
and it'll like say phrases on frequencies, right?
So it's like random.
Bro, you would fuck with this?
Nah, no, no, no, no, you know me.
I'm a bitch.
That's what I'm saying.
You're saying, get in here.
Like you're bugging.
Do it on an episode where I, after I die.
I feel like, how?
I'm here with Joseph.
It's me, Joe said, it's me, I'm welcome back to the face of me here.
And Frank, and I'm just like, hi.
Yeah.
Can you please pull up a TikTok of it happening?
It's not really like...
I don't...
It's not visual.
Also, I don't even know where I would keep something like this.
Like, I just don't want it around me.
Like, can you imagine it was like often in the corner of your house
and you just hear like, I'm hungry?
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, that's when you take the batteries out of it, brother.
I imagine it operates on some form of it.
Yeah, but what if it...
You know, you ever...
When was the last time you saw a TV would just static?
Someone told me one time that their TV would turn on and do that.
And I was like,
I would literally kick my TV in the face.
Well, there was a thing that there was one morning recently
where, like, I woke up, like, super, super early
and I heard, like, and I was like, and I was like, holy fuck.
Like, my heart dropped.
And I went in the basement and the TV was on.
Oh.
But what happens with the TV that we have is if you leave it idle for too long,
It's like this thing where like Samsung has channels now.
It'll be like watch the fucking Baywatch channel.
Like you're a TV, Samsung.
Just be a TV.
Just be a TV.
But like if it's on like input one and it's just like it's left to idle, it'll just immediately change to that.
Okay.
And that's what I've told myself.
Got it.
So.
But there could be a spirit down there.
Writing messages on the wall.
Watching Baywatch.
Watching Baywatch.
You just use the.
black light and it's just like
CJ was hot
you know
use the black light
you just see some guy there
being like I'm watching
you see this have a show
CJ gets bit by a jellyfish
bit by a jellyfish
oh man
well space
ghosts
what happened here
it is what it is
what it is folks
what
it's just funny
because
I'm not gonna
I was just say
like we wanted to talk
about certain things
and we just
didn't. No, no, no. I don't even remember how we got to the beginning of this, but...
My science question. Yeah. Right. Are we affecting the earth's weight? Which we are certainly not.
No. It's quite heavy. You ever see the thing where it was like, NDT said, he's like, if you took the
earth with all its peaks in valleys and everything and you made into the size of a pool ball,
it would be smoother than a cue ball, which I struggle with it. Maybe NDT's a little bit full of
Maybe he's a...
Maybe he's full of butt.
Maybe he doesn't know.
Maybe he's...
Does anyone actually, like,
confirm that he's a scientist?
Yeah.
Okay.
His, uh, I think his degree.
And overall...
He told us about it.
Have we seen it?
I haven't seen the paper.
Have you seen the Earth round?
That's true.
Have you seen NDT's degree?
He typed in.
Yes, he's an astrophysicist and scientist.
Well, a Bachelor of Science, so technically
him and I started at the same spot.
Right.
I think we all do that.
Well, no.
Some people get Bachelors of Arts.
Some of us don't get anything at all.
That's not what I meant, but yeah.
But yeah, I guess that is our episode for today.
Interesting one.
Hope you guys learned a lot.
We sure didn't.
Oh, yeah.
We were sure told.
We eventually got there, but we had some questions.
Here's what it is.
Frank, where can they find you?
the Frank Alvarez everywhere
looking up science stuff everywhere
they count down to a Doomsday
Avengers Doomsday podcast on Disney Plus
and patreon.com slash the basement yard
and just cut me off
feel free to just stop me
and asking questions
Ant Prisco on TikTok and Instagram
and you guys will go follow me at Joe Santa Gauta
go follow the show at Basmeyard on TikTok
and Instagram and that is all
see you guys next time
