The Basement Yard - The Sweet Sounds Of Summer

Episode Date: June 25, 2018

On this episode, @DannyLopriore & I talk about summer songs & songs that make us cry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the Basement Yard. Today, I'm joined by Danny Lopriori. He is here What is we're doing intro music now. Oh, yeah, I think That's a good song. That's a great song. Yeah, I just feel like It's almost summertime. It is summertime. No, I think it's like in three days three days. Yeah, three days, right? But I feel like sweet home Alabama big-time summer song Yeah, it might be like exclusively like you can get away with it in spring You can't really play it outside of spring and summer like it needs to be at least 80 degrees in the spring

I would get 75. I would say 72 72. Wow. You're gonna a little crazy sweet home Alabama is a summer song It is like you can't play that in the winter. No, if you played like sweet home Alabama at Thanksgiving You're an asshole. Yeah, you're you're kind of nuts. Yeah, you can't do that. No It's like boom boom pain. Oh, but if you're a barbecue in the summer though, and that comes on soon as you're like boom boom But like y'all I'm trying to I'm trying to wear flannel drink a lot of beers You're right. Yeah, look at my cousin a little differently now. Yeah, second cousin. Yeah, second second Yeah, you got a little degree of separation. Yeah, come on. Let's get it. Let's get you know It was a joke, but it got too real. Yeah, I wanted to move it to a different generation

Isn't that weird though how some songs are just like make you want to kiss your cousin? No What were you talking about like you can only enjoy them in the wind in the summertime Dude, that's a real thing and I had this conversation not too long ago with someone and I was saying like it's Situational music like you can have a good taste of music, but if you're not if it's not situationally good Yeah, then whatever, you know, I like some songs that are slow and like whatever, but you can't play those Well, the windows down in the summer. It's the same thing as being in a club and like they played opera music Yeah, what is what is going on like nobody's here for that? I love Ave Maria, but can we put on some fucking pitbull? Yeah?

Yeah, some flow right up Flow right up. First of all, I think pitbull and flow right up are two of the most amazing people of all time Yeah, they have non-stop hits and they're like the same person Yeah, like one of them has performed either a Rose Bowl or a Super Bowl or like some kind of Bowl For like the last 20 years. Yeah Pitbull is a scary guy. Pitbull just has like perfectly tailored suits and like black leather gloves everywhere Yeah, and I feel like he's got like a soul patch, right? Yeah, dolly What? Dolly, what does that mean? I don't know dance

I don't know what it means another summer song, which I think is another summer song. Can I do it? Yeah, you gotta queue it up Yeah I What do you Semi-charmed live. Yeah, semi-charmed kind of life third, uh, third eye blind. Yeah I guess Oh, sorry Do you have a full a full charms kind of life? I don't know what even that means. I don't know if I'm full charmed or no charm

I feel like if I'm go if I'm charming. I'm gonna go full or nothing I'm not gonna go semi and then make a song about it degree that it's a summer song Like in 1998 all right not 2003 I think yeah, no I think if semi-charmed kind of life comes on in the summertime top down She's going she loves it. She breathes for me. You're gonna say she was smelly Oh She goes down for me. Yeah, it's a weird. What genre is that? I don't know because it's like is he rapping? I don't know. He's kind of rapping

What do you come in over you? It's like, yo, are you what are you doing? Keith knows all the fucking words. I don't know all the words. I think you you I know I know a good amount I know a good amount. Yeah It's a good song. Just a little now What is that different song That part yeah, you're getting you're getting cold you're getting further away from the song. Yeah, I think so you're messing up the melodies That's a summer song. It is a summer song I get yeah, because you can play that with the windows down. It's like, okay. I get it

You're not gonna play that at Christmas. No, you're not gonna play it at Christmas. No Christmas music though. It's fire Dude, Andy Williams. Yeah boob lay too boob lay Dude boob lay must just like Just just just verbal vocal cotton. Oh my god. There's a baby's butt. This guy's got one big musical dick Yeah, he's just he's something I like you put boob lay on anybody's mom. Yeah He was like, uh, what was it was the song that he has? Oh, look, he has a christmas album. They're all fire. Yeah, I don't I don't know anything other than his christmas It's just nuts roasting. I don't know just nuts roasting on an open

Like, you know, and then everyone's gets fucked. Yeah It's insane every woman over like 45 would definitely suck boob lays cock. Hey, I'm Kenny G I can't I'm Kenny G Kenny G. I can't even control myself around a saxophone. I can't promise anything Well, once you hear that I'm like, yo, I can't I don't even know I can't control myself I'm like a dog. You know those dog whistles where it's like we can't hear it because that's too high pitch But they freak out. That's kind of like me in a saxophone. I always wonder does that hurt them?

Or they just like kind of like what is that? Yeah, I don't know for what is this? Is this is it too loud? Yeah, all right. Well, I have another song. Okay. Let me know if it's summer song or it could be year-round. Okay. You ready? There's very few year-round songs Is that Dave matthews Dave matthews crashing into me You This guy's got a weird-ass voice He's like half yodeling sometimes I'm like, yo

No Yeah, Dave matthews being a fox fox is that a summer song? Yes. No, no, you think it's all year-round song. No It's just not a summer song and they it's it's it's definitely a fall song A fall song dude if I'm walking around and I'm I'm crunching leaves on the ground There's like yellow leaves on the trees. I don't hear some crashing to me. Yeah crashing to me Like I gotta be wearing a p-coat, but it's open. You know what I'm saying? Yeah that kind of weather P-coat close. Yeah, that's a little too cold. Yeah, it's too cold for this song p-coat open This song's perfect like crashing to me. Is it a sad song? Not really. No, it's about like losing virginity. I don't think it's about like

Is it? Yeah, it's definitely not about like hike up your skirt a little more He says that show the world to me. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's fire. Yeah. Yes. Maybe it is about that crashing Generals against each other. Yeah, that other one's probably a summer song Oh, yeah, what's up in the morning? What song is that? I love you fair He's got a weird voice. I like it. Yeah, he's the fucking man. Yeah, this is awesome. I wish he's like just like Nevermind. I was gonna say some weird shit. No, it's all right. I was gonna say like spit on me

But like that's crazy. No, you don't want it. You don't want that. No, I don't want that from anybody. That's a summer song though Which one the one the second one you did. Yeah. Yeah, we don't know the name of it But I guess so do you have any songs that you think are summer songs summer songs? Um, I love fall obviously summer girls. That song's terrible. I know, but it's for the summer I like girls that wear and be crumpy and fish Oh I was feeling it I was ready to go. I was I was I was high. Do you know what's a summer song?

I just listened to the other day. It was kind of weird because the name fit isn't really the summer september Wake me up when september. No, I don't have to say that september. What's that? This song is fucking fire. Earth, wind and fire. Yes, that's how you know They say badu, but it's That was pretty good. Yeah, it was I mean it was good. Yeah, what do you think like? All right, it's not like summer songs Situational music is a real situational music is a real thing. Yeah if you It might be tough to do this, but if you had to like name

Maybe your top three top five songs that like Get you'll get you going to make you cry. Yeah, make you cry a little top five songs to make me cry This is easy off the top of my head first one easily landslide. What yeah landslides a tough one And if you see my reflection in the snow Yo It's a sad song. First of all, you ever see the movie jack frost. Yeah, of course with uh, michael keaton Do is a snowman melts kids like y'all I had my dad my dad died now. He's a snowman snowman died. Yeah, it's fucked up

That's like iron two dead dads. That's iron giant level sad dude Two dead dads in the in a span of a week. Yeah, my dad comes back as a snowman He fucking melts because it's winter's over or whatever the fuck happened in that movie. Did he end up coming back? I don't know. I can't remember spoiler right by the way. Yeah, sorry. This movie's from like 1998 My balls 30 roll movie suck it Um, yeah, it's a sad song man landslide gets you Yeah, I don't even remember the beginning of you want to go back to back Or do you want to just give me your five give me your five so landslide one. Yeah, uh,

Goodbye, my lover Goodbye, my friend If I don't want you have been the one for me It's so fucking it's sad. It's a sad one It's sad if anyone like goes through a breakup and listens to that song. I'm pretty much guaranteeing you will cry Yeah, like even if you didn't like them like it was it's so sad Yeah, or seek or seek or seek that the beginning of that song. Oh my god. Don't disappoint you. I'll let you down He's got another one of those voices to that. Yeah, it's a great voice

Would you love it? Yeah, it's weird. It's very high-pitched My my friend So fucked up. It is. I don't like that song. No, um, what other is a sad song. Those are two like easy ones um Oh the graduation song That made everyone cry at one point in their lives vitamin c. Yeah I almost lost it there. I almost lost it. I almost said you were looking at me for for a guidance Well, I've only graduated like twice so like

Yeah, it didn't pack as big of a punch with me. I got barely graduated. Can you imagine graduating? Like when freddy prince jr. Was poppin in the 90s 90s. Oh my god And everyone had like a jeep wrangler. Yeah and frosted tips across the seashell fucking Like necklaces pookin pookin necklaces. Yeah. Yeah, like a shark tooth. Yeah guys never seen fossil watches Yeah, what the fuck's going on and then like At the end of high school when that song came out You're like, yo man, we're never gonna see each other anymore. Yeah, and it's like, you want to come over play madden right after

I'll see you this summer. I guess I'll see you this summer. Dude. I hate you know what I hated Fucking yearbooks. I hated writing in yearbooks. I know because it's like you can't help a ride saying hope you have a great summer Joe never change never change never change I'm fucking 18 in high school. I would hope there's some change here. Yeah. That was a piece of shit at 18 Yeah, never change Some of the worst advice I've ever gotten Yeah, definitely change I always used to write like live free or die hard

What are you Bruce Willis? Yeah, if for some reason I always loved writing that in yearbooks live free die hard Yeah, live live free or die hard I I went to like a you know, my middle school yearbook is fucking hilarious. Is it littered with signatures? Yeah popular middle school I guess I had a lot of signatures in there, but like it was just it was funny because it was predominantly like Spanish and black kids Like yo, you mad Q for like a white boy. Yo, have I told you that? No stop

Literally someone wrote that in my ear, but yeah, I'm sure And another girl wrote on the whole page. Joe. I'm half Puerto Rican. I know how it works. I love luhu yew mad much I love you mad much That bitch that bitch loved me mad much. I tell you right now. It's the one that got away. Oh, oh you fucking better believe it

She loves somebody else right now. Yeah, she's not a love me That's for fuck sure not as mad much, but no probably just a good amount. So you know She loved me mad much mad much different. You'll never let that go Yeah, you're mad Q for white boys. It was definitely something or like Dear white dear white boy was in like every single fucking signature down her fire though. No, it was I was I was cool Lancelot's yeah graduation song. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my lover um Shit

Oh defying gravity defying gravity. That's from wicked. Yeah. First of all, have you seen wicked? I've never seen wicked. Go see it It's that good, huh? Yeah, that's great. I mean it depends what you're into but like I that's a del dozen Yo, the one and only the one No, but at the end of the first intermission they do the song defying gravity Yeah, and it's just fucking fuck. I listen to it on runs just rocks your fucking size It literally is probably one of my favorite songs of all time really. Yeah, wow and and yeah, it's it's so random people don't believe me But I'm like, I'm dead serious Sonheim, who Steven Sonheim. I don't even know the fuck that is. Wow. It's learn your Broadway play. I am sorry

But uh, so that's four then you got one more Yo, but hold on the song She's saying she's belting this shit out and then it just ends and it's inter intermission And they just leave you with your emotions and I'm like, I can't fucking handle this right now Wow, keep the lights off because they turn the lights on immediately and I'm like, I can't cry And it's like one of those things that goes like And then it's over. Yeah. Yeah, exactly And then the fucking the curtains close the lights go on and I'm like

Because it's like it's not that it's a sad song. It's just beautiful Broadway is pretty fire. Broadway is great. Yeah, I love Broadway plays. There's some of those towns with people on earth Dude, I don't understand how good they are. Yeah How can you just get up there and just sing like that? I know And you're not worried that you're not gonna be able to sing that good tomorrow like you'll like get tired They do like three shows a day Oh It's insane. It's insane. Dude. You know, all right my last song

Eric Clapton Tears in heaven. Yeah, you got it. The guy made a song about his fucking Child that like fell out of a window and died Would you know my name? If I saw you in heaven Yeah, I'm getting sad. It's so fucked up No, I know I don't want to cry on

Yeah, yeah, I'm crushing this to be honest with you But like, yeah, those are probably my top five tears in heaven gets me like pretty much all the time Because when you add context to that song, it's like, oh, this is about a baby. Yeah, that's dead. Yeah A dead baby is one of his other relatives had died also Yeah, and he just wrote the song like to get it's just it's so fucked up It's a good five though. It's a good five makes a great right now. Yeah for sure What's in your top five my top five like I'll play snippet of one. I actually have it loaded up Dolls

This song We don't know this is for like a movie with uh, Nicholas Cage And Meg Ryan mad wind blowing city of angels. I think it's called city of angels. Yes five on air And I don't want That's a good song. Yo, I fuck with google dolls like heart. I only know one of their songs What I know I had the album dizzy, uh, was it black balloon or dizzy dizzy up the girl or something like that? Yo, um, it's a fucking great album black balloon slide Yeah, I know slides that that I do black balloon. I know as well better days name. Yeah

Yeah, I knew more google dolls than I thought asshole. I'm actually cheating because they're all here in the top But that would be my number one Yeah, vienna by billy joe Oh my god, that one gets me because that one gets me like on a personal level like when he's like Slow down you crazy child You're crazy child. It's so ambitious for a juvenile You're so smart to tell me why I'm still so afraid

That was fire You got your passion. You got your pride, but don't you know that all the fools are satisfied. We're going on the road. Yeah, we're going It's all right. You can't afford to lose a tail. We're going on the road. We're going on a tour We're going on tour. We're gonna belt these out somewhere So that one gets me to vienna's good man when he played that. No, no, what was it? Is either I think it was vienna Because my family and I we went to billy joe And my sister was a mess. She was crying because it might have been scenes from italian restaurant though

That's a great one too though. Oh my god. That's always ridiculous. I got another one Talk about tears You Talk about tears when you try your best, but you don't succeed. I can relate Try your best, but you don't succeed I'm about to cry right now. I'm down What you want, but not what you need God it's a fucking song

So tired, but you can't sleep I Stuck Yo, hold on you gotta fast forward this when the when the p-trops and it's just Don't do it yet. Don't do it yet. Yo, that's such a good part of the song. Can you fast forward to that? I want to hear it now I might you might get me Like this is the part of the concert when they you seen them live, right? Yeah, I saw them live. I met like you did too. One of the best shows I've ever seen. Yeah, when they did this

I was crying. Yeah, I cried. Yeah It's coming it's coming. I love this fucking song. I love this fucking song too. Fix you by coldplay I love it. You gotta fix this fucking volume bullshit. I got it right here Tuesday Yeah You Damn Chris, Chris Martin does it a little better than me, but I could I could get up there then when it just goes

Lights will guide you home So that's three. Yeah, uh creep by radiohead Why? Because it's like a I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doing here? Why I don't belong here. You know my brains You know my brain. You're such a creep. It's such a creep. And then the other one

Let her go Yo, that song That guy sounds like And you're missing hot that guy I don't know what he looks like but he sounds like an old decrepit man that has like arthritis in his hands And he's like Like he sounds like he's so old turns the snow. Yeah, he sounds like He's I don't know like it's about he's made a paper. He's about to die

But when he says that like everything you touch surely dies. I'm like, damn, that's man. My damn, you know, you fucking me up I suck passenger. Yeah. So like that's my five Letter goes a good one. Yeah letter goes a good one I feel like I'm forgetting so many like I feel like there's a couple honorable mentions in there Yeah, um something by the phrase got to be like sad. Oh hell. Yeah. What are those songs? Uh, not cable car The I found guy on the corner of first and I'm a step Where the west? I don't even know the words Where were you?

Everything was falling apart Lost and insecure Found me you found me. That's a great one. Where were you? Yeah, that song, uh Like blink 182 ever make you cry. Which one it was more just weird Blink 182 that uh adam song. Yeah Please tell mom. This is not her fault No, I never did

Are you? Oh, yeah, I'm missing. I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep. I cannot breathe tonight I need somebody and always that song is huge Enormous. I like that song don't waste your time on me. You're all ready The voice inside my yet Miss you miss you say yet. Yeah, yeah Am I yet tonight in my yet? Tonight tonight I'm gonna get some yet tonight

Oh what toy story too Uh with jane the fucking or jesse jet. Wow. Um, that was terrible. Don't worry about jesse the cowgirl The way she loved when she loved when she loved me sarah mcglacklin. That's son of a bitch Yo, sarah mcglacklin has made a living off of making us all fucking cry. Yeah Yes, it's insane the fucking dogs the dog commercial now this shit and she's in the thing is toy story too I've got a toy store. I'm trying to have a good time. I'm seeing my these toys. I don't want to see this shit It's like one of those songs. Do you put that on right now? I'm I don't know how I'm gonna read This one

I don't know how I'm gonna react. I don't know how I'm gonna react You know first of all this piano I could cry I could write just listen to the piano. It is so sad Lives within my heart You To try your tears This is the Yo, fuck sarah mcglacklin, dude, I think I need a break. I think I need to you didn't take five Take can we take five? Can we take five? Can we wrap this up? Can we take five million?

That's fucking song hurt so bad And you see the toy and it's just like oh my god, she loved this toy And then you just the bitch just like threw her on the side of the street or some shit like that And jesse was so mad. It makes me think about like pets What like Like that song's like about a pet or like about a mom or something Like you were saying like before you said like give it like context like because like eric clapton song about his like baby Hold on

I swear to god I saw a video once and I was crying uncontrollably like Hyperventilating it was of this fucking little bitch four-year-old. Yeah, right? And she's playing with this doll. Yeah and Whatever and then she stops playing with the doll and she's just like whatever and so the dad takes the doll

And puts it in the back seat Right because no one likes the doll anymore or whatever drives out to the country side, okay Drops the doll off on the side of the road and then just drives away then He looks into his rear view

And it was a dog. Oh my god. It was a dog the whole fucking time. What was this? It was a fucking commercial about don't abandon dogs because people drive out to the country and leave their dogs on the side of the road Like they did this thing and that was cool and fine with being a dog because it's a doll But when it's a dog, this is a whole new ball game I was I wanted to hit this four-year-old as hard as I could Dude, I was crying. They do such a good job. Yeah, they got violins and pianos Mindfuck the shit out of you and it's like everything was fine And I'm like, what does this even fucking mean?

Like what is this a lexus commercial and then he sees it in his rear view and it's it's a dog just like You don't you don't want me. Oh my gosh. It's terrible. All jokes aside. I'm putting on a show here Just to be funny all jokes aside As soon as I just did that little interpretation of the dog. I got I got really close. I know I saw that I heard it I got rid of this. I heard it. I did I heard it Fuck that. I can't I can't deal with that say a commercial could get me from time to time. Absolutely You know what also makes me cry sometimes like really good acceptance speeches Acceptance speeches like like the Oscars everything's the same thing. No, but like sometimes they kill it

Like Brian Cranston killed it one time. I don't remember what he said. He was just talking about he was like Like growing up as a kid and being like people used to call me like sneaky Pete or something He's like because like I always did things like an unorthodox way and like I knew like I wanted to be an actor and shit and like Like I wanted to do things my way and he's like to all like the other sneaky Pete's out there Who don't fit in or like do things differently? This one's for you guys And I was like that's pretty fire sneaky Pete sneaky Pete's I think there's a sneaky Pete in the toy story No pistol Pete or something. No

I think it's sneaky Pete. I think we talked about this, but who's your favorite toy story character or mine's slinky Woody I don't know Slinky slink just sounds like Miles for years Rex was funny. Yeah Yeah, I don't know but what I you know, it gets me. Oh my god the other day I watched one I was fucking balling crying sometimes you just get in the mood Where you you wake up in the morning you look at your phone and you see something It's like oh that makes me a little bit emotional and then you're like I'm just gonna ride this out

You start trying to cry really hard. Dude. I saw this video of like like yo X factor does a crazy job with the golden buzzer Yeah, when they slide everything down slow mo the fucking whoever scores those things with like the fucking fed music Yeah, it's just it's insane. Yeah, they play one of those fucking songs And it was like this fucking eight-year-old girl was fucking adorable And she was like a ventriloquist or some shit and then she someone gave her the golden buzzer and she was crying Her mom was crying her mom ran out and hugged her slow mo her dad and her mom

Her dad and her brother in the crowd her brother was fucking balling. I'm sitting there in my bed crying and shit Grown man. That's the real deal though. I cried over a ventriloquist Who the fuck would have seen that coming? No, that's what they do. It's all right to cry. I love crying your crying is awesome Crying is great. Yeah crying is the reverse Of masturbating like when you're when you're masturbating. It's great. Yeah, but as soon as it's over you're like this sucks Yeah, I should but when you're crying it's like this sucks, but after it's over you're like that was awesome Yeah, I feel great, right? Wow Did I just blow your fucking mind right? It's like

That's deep. Yeah, that's like Neil deGrasse Tyson type shit. Yeah Yeah, I could teach him a thing or two. Yeah, for sure. Maybe like one or two. Yeah one or two He could teach me thousands of things But uh now that it's You had a good five. I think my five was a little better No, any other honorable mentions you could think of off the top of my head. I don't know probably not No, it's not this summer anyway. I like You know what it is performances make me cry like when people when people just kill it. Yeah

I'm like fuck that was so good. Yeah, and I just want that's why I like creep so much because like when tom york kills that song. I'm like Guy's such a creep and an outcast. No, he just kills it. Yeah Slays puss by the thousands. Yeah So that's it's great. It's great It's great. I think it's good. We always repeat each other. I know. I know. Yeah, I know I think it's like a nervous reaction or it's like a way to just like Keep moving. It's one of those things that like I'm not is that your foot? Yeah, I stepped on something It's one of those things that like you're not really good

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Yeah, we buy a shit ton of fireworks. Yeah, why are they illegal? I don't know because a couple people are fucking too dumb to like not blow it off in your hand. Yeah, like, you know jpp. Yeah jpp Get the what I say like that jpp. Yeah, light it and run away dude. Yeah, man It's just weird that like I've almost died by the way from fireworks twice Yeah, so now you just like messed up your entire argument No, but I it was worth it. I almost died doing tons of this stuff. That's true. Come on. I almost die every day driving a car That's what I'm saying It's just kind of weird how we're obsessed with fireworks on like this one day of the year

Yeah, why are I think we just like bright things. Yeah, like flashing lights Like Times Square to us is like the worst place ever Yeah, because you're like, yeah, I get it. There's lights and stuff here, but there's really nothing going on There's not one thing not one thing. There's literally just a bunch of people there There's not really a bunch of fun stuff to do in Times Square. No, so I obviously like yeah, it's the lights Yeah, why do we love lights? What are we gnats? We're gnats. That's what it sounds like. You know what I mean mosquitoes You know those fucking things that like rednecks have on their front porch. Yeah, the blue lights. Yeah. Yeah, and so you hear

Just kill a bunch of that's us. Yeah, that's us fireworks are fire though I'm not gonna fight you on that. Yeah, you know fire. There's always that dude that like guesses the finale too. Oh, this is the finale Oh There's always a finale guesser guy Oh, this has got to be the finale. This is the finale Oh, yes, there's the finale everyone has to be exactly fucking pyrotechnic over here. Yeah, right. Okay guys is the finale. Yeah, that's That was the same person who need to be the last clap. Yeah, you know what I mean? She's like, ah, yeah Last get the last clap

Last clapping is awesome though. Yeah. Oh, I first clap first clap. Sometimes I clap way too early because I'm trying. I'm too ambitious Yeah, I'm like Guys, I still in the middle of this one of those people are in a national anthem and like claps real early No, I don't do that and uh, I mean you're clapping already. Yeah, I don't do that Take your head off Take your fucking hat off and we talked about how those guys are the ones that in the middle of the national anthem Yeah, let's go Shut the fuck up. Yeah, can we just like you got your hat off but you're screaming in the middle of it

Like what's going on telling me to take my hat off puffin socks It's like dude take it easy. Are we here? Let's go. Yeah. Yeah, it's like Come on. Shut the fuck up. Take your hat off. Take your hat off But I don't know like there's barbecues are kind of weird too What like barbecues for july 4th Why the fuck would that be weird? They're amazing. I love barbecues at all times If I could have a barbecue in the winter, I would Build like a big-ass igloo over my house

Do you bring stuff to barbecues? Or like just family like functions You're not gonna like the answer you're not a bringer are you I'm not really a big bringer So here's the here's the no, but like here's the deal, right? I've changed in my old age my middle aged What am I? I'm still young. Yes. I'm not middle aged Whatever middle of middle aged in the double middle age double double mid double middle age Uh My quarter age. Yeah, that's good

Uh, yeah, but I've changed but like when I was younger growing up I didn't really bring anything To parties. Okay, I guess I don't know what usually like my family is the one who hosted like my house growing up was always like a hotel People were in and out all the time. I had a backyard. I had a like a small pool Yeah, so sometimes my friends would come over and I was always just like, oh Look, we could do this at joey's because I had a house And a lot of my friends live in their apartment. So you were being brought to Right more than you would have to bring but I don't be honest. I don't know if a lot of my friends are bringing either

Which I don't think you have to bring but I do think you have to ask I think I think you have to ask and also bring anyway What do you bring you can't I don't like like here's the thing when I go to barbecues and stuff now I'm bringing beers. Yeah, that's a good break Unless I'm instructed like yeah, I need hot dogs. Can you pick up hot dogs? Yeah, that's one of the better bring Because here's why I don't bring because when I have parties I need to be prepared. I'll buy all the shit. It's my barbecue Right, so I'm not expecting anyone to bring anything. You want to bring it back chips. Awesome bonus. That's what I like to do Yeah, bring chips dip

Don't bring don't bring onion rings. No. No, what are those called fun? No onion rings onion rings the the chip onion rings Funions They're called funions. They're disgusting is what they are. They're not bad. I like fun. No, they're gross Very good. They're not good. I have to have you try these next. No I'm not trying those salt and vinegar chips also fucking disgusting. How dare you it tastes like a potato chip That was dipped in nail polish remover. No Salt and vinegar chips are phenomenal. No, they're not keep missing. What's next? I don't know what I was even talking about. I'm so disgusted. Yeah, you were talking about not uh, not bringer being a not bringer

Bringing chips is perfect. That's the thing. So I'm like, yeah, I bring beers pretzels. Yeah, but like the good ones Do you ever have flavor pretzels? What is flavored pretzels like butter flavored pretzels? Like anti-annies or yeah, like in the mall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, first of all, you ever have Peanut butter filled pretzels. What the fuck? Yeah, they're amazing. I've never even heard of such things. They come in a big like utz box Uh, you know, like yeah, yeah, classic cylinders where like cheese balls come in. Yeah, you can get those. Yeah, peanut butter filled pretzels. Yeah Fuck yeah, we're gonna that sounds awesome. They're amazing. They're amazing I went to like whatever the anti-annies or pretzel time whatever the fuck the things are in the mall Yeah, and I went and I was like, yeah, can I get a pretzel with like whatever?

He's like, what kind of pretzel and I was like, what? Excuse me. It's like, what do you mean, dude? And he's like, what kind of pretzel you want? Fucking kind of you got he's like, well, we got cinnamon pretzels. I'm like, let me stop you there. I will take that shit Yes, and he's like, do you want a sauce? I'm like What is going on? I'm like, what kind of sauce do you have? He's like, oh, we got caramel. We have cheese We have cinnamon cheese icing and I was like, give me that icing Stop your life and give me the icing icing. I was dipping a cinnamon

pretzel Into icing a sin is a center pretzel. Yeah And I was eating it my arteries closed three inches that day Don't say that's me now definitely took years off my life eating that thing, but of course and I would do it again I would do it right now a cinnamon Iced pretzel dude. It's just like fantastic. It's amazing. What's your favorite like mall food? bourbon chicken

What do you remember bourbon chicken? What the fuck is bourbon chicken? It's like, uh, you ever be walking in the mall and like the asian people like handy with Toothpick with that chicken on it? I like Costco. Yeah It's that it's like that like teriyaki chicken. Yes. Oh, yeah Yeah, teriyaki chicken bourbon chicken. Yo, by the way now that I said that Costco samples. Yeah I abuse it it becomes a game for me when I go to Costco of like I'm gonna get this sample You have your own Costco card No, I would go with my mom

But I would go and I would like with Keith Take a sample and then we'd walk down the aisle like change shirts And then go back really. Yeah, and then we try to get as many as we could I'm a good one. Sometimes you get a sample. You're like, what the fuck was this bullshit? There's nothing I love more than a free sample free samples like gelato Best yeah, and I gotta get three of those. Give me. Yeah, let me try this one. Let's try wait. What is that? Why does this one look different? What is that chocolate flavor? You know, let me try that You know, it's a good one

The one I had didn't look like this one. Can I try this one? Yeah, it's the set. I just I still can I just try it? Also, what the fuck is moose tracks ice cream what moose tracks Moose tracks What is that? It's a flavor of ice cream. I don't know what it is. It sounds chocolatey sounds chocolatey isn't tracks like mean shit I thought it was just like like their hooves. Oh like a track that they're leaving But isn't like moose tracks like a shit. I don't know. I'm gonna look it up But moose tracks. I think is a flavor of ice cream. I could be 100 wrong

But I believe that it is dude. Do you know how big a moose is? By the way, what's a bunch of moose meese? moose A group of moose moose. Yeah moose plural Meese No way. It's me. We would have we would have known that by now goose and geese moose and meese The plural of the the usual plural of moose is moose

I hate when they do that like a plethora of moose. Why can't we have fun? Why can't we like with with fish? It's like, oh, what's what's a what's a bunch of fish? Uh, it's fish No, it's fish Sound like that dude from big daddy Toon the fish. It's not my fault. Your father was sick. It's not my fault. Your father I'll give you crew cut mister. I come down there and I cut your hair No, yeah, I don't know. Yeah moose tracks is ice cream. Yeah, you know like if you drive a truck into a moose Your truck will be come totalled. Yeah, like they're gigantic

What do you think the average can I can I look up what the average moose weighs and you can take a guess? Okay Don't guess yet. Okay, but I have a guess And I'm gonna keep it in my head. I want to see if I was even close I'm gonna be off. I'm not good with like these. Okay. I can't are you close? Yeah, I was I was pretty close I'm gonna be off. I was I was off by 140 pounds. I'll say There's a wide range here. Okay. I'll say 500 pounds way off. You want to hear that you want to hear this Well, you're not way off because a female could be anywhere from 440 pounds to 790 pounds. You want to know how much a fucking male moose weighs?

840 to 1500 pounds That shit weighs more in your car A moose weighs 1500 pounds a male moose can weigh up to 1500 pounds What do they do? I don't know. What do they eat? I don't know grass, how do you be 1500 pounds do you eat dirt? How are you vegan? And 1500 pounds. That's weird. I just want to be a vegan now I don't want to be 1500 pounds. A fucking moose is terrifying. Oh if I saw a moose, I'm out

If they wanted to A moose will beat the shit out of you. It will kill you instantly. Yeah, I'm not. I'll lose that fight every time 10 times out of 10 Yeah Wasn't that you showing me the guys having the tug of war with a lion like a lioness? There was like five guys. They were like you rope and yeah, they're all jacked Pulling this fucking rope and there's like a lioness is for the children in the mouth like Not even giving a shit. This is why I love planet earth No

Not planet earth like the actual planet. I do love that. I know. I know it's funny planet earth like just shows you like seeing these animals Makes humans like we're I guess we're the most amazing thing. I really don't think we are no, we're pathetic I think we suck like terrible Compared to like fucking turtles and fucking Wait turtles, you know like big ass fucking like baby sea turtles Wait, hold on I was like I was on board with this whole like human suck thing compared to other animals But then you went turtles. You don't like turtles. What the fuck do turtles do?

Yo, I like I like a do you see that planet earth episode when those when those baby sea turtles are trying to make it to the ocean Yeah, yeah, yeah tears tears your days. Yeah, but like if you can't even make it to the ocean I'm not gonna say you're cool with it. It's just kind of cool that we live on the same earth as like tigers Yeah, it's fire tigers now. We're talking turtles though You know, it's weird how like a walrus is like a land type of thing but they can hold their breath for mad long How long Let's look it up google that shit Dude, yeah, how long how long do you think a uh, how long do you think?

A walrus can hold its breath I don't know if it's long. I'm gonna say like eight minutes Eight minutes underwater. Yeah, I don't know Four to five minutes. Oh, okay. It's not that amazing Can a human some humans do that? David Blaine did like a whole day or something. He almost dies What do you hold his breath for? I think he did like five minutes. Yeah That's insanity. Yeah

Why would you do that? Yeah, I honestly have like some of the worst breath ever If that's an expression. I can't hold my breath. Oh, I thought you meant like your breath smelled like shit No, no, no, I can't I can't hold my breath for like a minute in a way. No, I've tried to do it and like 45 seconds in I'm like I'm scared I don't even know if I can get to 45 you could my sweet spot is like 34 go right now Okay, really try your hardest right now to hold your breath as long as possible. I get my phone down and time it I'm gonna try to be fair. I'm because I know it's gonna be I've had no person. I have no training

It's like that first that first episode. I will talk you through this american idol I'll talk you through this. Remember you cannot release any air from your nose I'm not gonna cheat take the breath Okay, all right How long can I hold my breath? This is pathetic. No, it's it's gonna be fine. Yeah, I'm gonna talk you through this You talking to me is not going to make me hold my breath any longer. All right, so maybe some pump up music You also do you want to pump up music? Yeah, please anything All right, hold up

I swear to god if you put on that fucking song with That toy story song when she loved me. I'll fucking lose my mind. No mario. How do I breathe? How do I breathe? Okay ready? Three two one go Damn Cassidy, I remember him. All right, right now we are at 10 seconds. Dude, that was an easy 10 seconds Just focus just focus don't move too much because your body's gonna want to get more oxygen other places. Don't even look down 20

Don't even look down. You're doing great, dude. You're doing great. You're perfectly fine 30. Don't look down. I said Don't look down Really try to hold it for as long as you can You're doing great, dude. You're doing great. Stop shaking. You're gonna need more oxygen 40 Dude, you can do a minute 42 you know, I might be a new record for me 42 seconds. I can't hold my breath for shit, dude. Should I try you want to try? I'm asthmatic I might pass out and die. You could not die here. I won't die. Let's go. I don't want to deal with this bullshit

Okay, you let me know go Just close your fucking mouth Pitch that nose here you go Okay, we're around the 15 second mark. He says he's blown away by that. Yeah, okay. We're at 20 now It's not good, right? It's not good. It makes you feel pathetic Because you can't really hold your breath. You start to realize how pathetic you are Yeah I don't know what you're doing

Oh We're at a 35 Oh, you got it. You're gonna get a minute Maybe all right. Here we go 40 seconds. Oh, shit. I mean you passed me Oh, you passed me For seven eight nine 50 seconds Your nose is like fluttering. It's scaring me

55 four three two one Yo You I I got you held you have asthma Oh, you held your breath longer than I held my breath Yeah, honestly

Things started to get tingly in my head Danny we were just fucking around you didn't have to try to put your life on the line for this I couldn't I couldn't give up. I really made a minute We'll be right back I can't believe I did that. I'm blown away. You want to know why though? Why I I swam for years I did I was a lifeguard for years. So I swam all the time. I can't I well that one. Yeah All right, now I'm hurting. Yeah. Yeah You're gonna feel this way. I'm gonna get a text later tonight. I'd be like, you know, I'm not kind of sure

Send you another picture from like the ear. Yeah, I think you could hold your breath for a minute I'm not saying try it again. No, I'm no, but I think I think you could maybe Yeah, did you just feel like you couldn't hold on? I think it was more of a mental thing It's an actual physical. It's more so like I can't fucking breathe Definitely breathe, dude. Definitely breathe. Yeah Wow, you know what maybe I could get it if someone went before me because I'm competitive. Yeah, and I'd be like I'll die before I fucking yeah. Yeah, exactly I don't know. That was great though

I can't hold my breath. It's bad. It's all right. Can you swim? Yes, yeah, like a motherfucker. So but you know, yeah, we talked about here's a crazy thing I sink Really? Yeah Like if I go into a pool I can swim. I could like whatever I catch it is. Yeah. Yeah. I'm catching my breath. You need an inhaler. Yeah. Yeah. I need my pump Oh, yeah, you need to pump that out. Do I have it on me? Probably not. I don't know. It's cool. We'll fix it in the post.

I sink Like when I go into a pool if I just like go into water and just go like this Yeah, I will slowly flow to the bottom and my body will touch the bottom of the pool. You can't trade water No, I don't know what that means. I think it means I have like a low body fat percentage, but I don't believe that at all My mom it's impossible for her to touch the floor of a four like a four foot That's awesome pool. She floats. It's I always tell my mom. I'm like, yo, if we were on a boat And we hit a rock and we all got thrown to the ocean

I would die first right and she would be fine. Can you uh float on your back? No See, no one ever thought you had a float. That's why No, I just can't you could float. I've been trying people have tried to teach me how to float. I can't fucking float I could teach you how to float. I I've taught children how to float for like seven years. I could teach you how to float Fucking float mess over here Hey, man, I was giving out fucking stingray pins and the fuck is that fish pins? How do you get a stingray pin stingray pin you would have to do uh

part of the butterfly stroke For 15 meters. That's this one, right? Yeah. Yeah, am I doing it right? No. No, how do you do butterfly stroke? Well, my hands are all fucked up. Yeah, you have to keep it down this way And when you come through the water, you're doing something called a dolphin kick Uh-huh, and you're pushing the water down literally pushing down and coming up this way And over so i'm coming down. Yeah, you're literally pushing the water down as you're dolphin kicking So you're pretending that your feet are one Are are thin you're doing the kick

You're pushing And as you push the water your chest comes out Your hands come out and then you come back in the water another dolphin kick and then the push. Yeah What a dumb way to swim. Why are we swimming like this? I don't know It's fire when you could do it though like when people see you do it. They'll let you out fire Why can't we just swim? That's true Freestyle i'm all about the do you turn your head and breathe? Yeah, or you do that you put your face in the water Yeah, all right, so you know how to swim. Yeah, I could swim. Yeah, I can't like backstroke

You could you could easily backstroke. I mean I All it is is putting your arm here and as soon as your uh visib gets to your ear you turn your hand out and push your backwards It's all it is What are you fucking michael felps How to swim Dude just held my breath for a minute. Yeah, it's kind of nuts told you You think you can beat me in a race in a pool A race in a pool. Yeah, for sure

So got yeah, yeah, probably I'm not that fast. No, I would I would I would take care of you I would have to I would the only way I'd win is if my brother jared's a mad good swimmer Yeah, like he would he would make us look terrible both of us terrible My buddy espo is a fucking fast swimmer too. He could probably beat me though. He's fast I'm not a really fast swimmer. He swam the length of the not the length but like the Uh, what's that? What's that word? The width of the the lake in Connecticut. Oh, wow. Yeah, it's far as fuck

I didn't do there back when he went there and someone was waiting with a boat. Yeah, you have to like, you know, if I don't make it Yeah, I'll die out there. Um got from it Yeah, like we had to this you know espo just followed me back on instagram. Yeah, he doesn't really use social media that much Kind of got upset kind of got upset. I don't know that's all right. No, but uh The um when we went to Connecticut the boat that we were on. Yeah, just stopped working for some reason in the middle of the lake so me and espo had to we Left the we threw a rope

We tied a rope inside the boat and then threw it into the water Both jumped out grabbed the rope and swam it back to shore My quads were on fire For whatever reason I don't know why but my quads Do you ever uh Did you like did you take swimming lessons as a kid? No, no, you just Throw me in there

Take you know what My parents put like, you know those things that you wear like a suit and like a tire Yeah around you So I had those and then I guess I just kind of learned because I I wanted to Like I'm a fucking athlete dude getting kids in water could be mad traumatizing. You have to be careful getting them in there Really? Yeah I've had mad traumatizing like things in water like those that thing I was by myself in the pool

Was I by myself? Oh, no, I wasn't by myself My cousin Pete, you know, yeah save my life Because I was at his house. Just adds to how cool it is. I know guys is fucking smoked. It's smoke show Anyway, that would be the cousin I would kiss by the way of sweet home Alabama came on at that barbecue. It's not a bad choice uh, but uh I was in that tube and I was trying to swim and I flipped over and you were stuck So my legs were just kicking in the air and I was underground underground I was underwater and he had to jump in and flip me back and save my life. I had to save a kid once

It's fire. Yeah, you didn't cpr. Did you? No, no, no so gross Are you supposed to wendy peppercorn? No, no, no, that's all you're only supposed to do cpr is if their heart stops beating I don't know the rules. I'm not certified. Yeah Because if their heart stops beating that's when you need to provide oxygen and pump their chest to pump blood throughout their body Right. Yeah, you know one time my dad my dad was a fireman for many years He was obviously certified and there was this one time where this dude just like dropped On a tennis court. Yeah, so my dad ran my dad ran over

And was cpring the shit out of this dude And the dude threw up in his mouth. Yeah Just threw up at my dad And he's like I'm never saved somebody. Yeah, he's like I was the last time I'm doing man. I'm good on that That's disgusting. It's disgusting. Do throw up is gross dude. I do throws up in my mouth It's a wrap. It's a wrap. You're dead. I'm having a bad year Even if it's January was the last time you legit threw up I don't know it's been a while. It's been a while. Yeah. Oh, it's hard like

Some people throw up. I just thought you were about to throw up. No, so I was thinking so some people throw up Very easily. Yeah, I don't I don't really do that. I I never understood how people I am jinxing this, aren't I? Yeah, don't get sick. Yeah, no I because I don't I don't like drink until I'm dying anymore. No, that's why Because like I just drink to have a good time. That's it and I wash my hands religiously Yeah, you do you are a big hand washer boy and and a lot of times I forget A lot of times I forget if I wash my hands or not. So I just wash them anyway Yeah, so I wash my hands like a crazy amount like a little bit of like ocd with that

I used to be like that. I used to be like real ocd like two or three showers a day But like uh, then I realized it was so much water when you do that Yeah, what do you care about the environment? Fuck you. I don't really care about the environment I'm not going to go out there and be like I'm an environmentalist, but I try to I try to save water Yeah, that's like the one thing that I try Save water That's that's like a deed for my life. Yeah that and like uh, I used to try to save water. What do you mean? I'm not a nice guy. Yeah, what the fuck?

I don't know you look really cute today, but okay. What are you doing? I don't know. I'm just saying you told me to speak for my my therapist told me I had to speak when I think things so just saying I don't like these eyes you give me Yeah, realistically right now yeah right now yeah right now go right now If you had to rate yourself from a 1 to 10 of hotness scale do it right now. Okay. Be honest. All right I will no give me the answer wait hold on I there's because there's different scores. It really depends what we're looking at here

Change it up. There's a bunch of different factors here. You're flipping it in your favor. I'm not But you are I'm not so here's here's the deal right Is it winter or summer? Oh Summer okay good because it is summer. Let's just go with the now. Okay good um, and so I'm gonna just like not right now, but In the summer when you get a nice tan. Yeah now

east coast east coast summer right I would say on the east coast in the summer All right After shedding the winter wait I can get upwards To like an 8 2 like a standing 8 state 8.2. I would say Including including the personality. Yeah. Yeah, I think because just looking at me. I don't think I'm an 8 Yeah, I don't and like you don't have to tell me I'm an 8 or anything like that. I don't need it

There's some sexy fucking dudes out there. I'm saying I'm like this guy's I'm you know like I I consider myself like like a good-looking guy. Yeah, but like I know of what if I see a guy And I'm like this guy's doing it. Yeah, this guy's taking care of business Right, you know another thing for me is my personality right which goes a long way which I think my personality outweighs The way that I look I think so too, but I feel like you have to really get to know me Yeah, like if you just met me you'd be like, uh You know what I mean

Yeah, like I guess he could be like a good-looking guy I like So here's the deal right on the opposite. I call myself. I honestly now that I lost like 35 40 pounds I'll throw myself in the seven range. Oh my god. Yeah Seven seven safe. Here's the thing, right? So I'm saying a best day of my life tan summer Cut off lost all the uh the winter weight got a good pump good pump Personality everything 8.2. That's my ceiling is 8.2 right kick it high. Do you have a hat on or no hat on? I think I got a hat on yeah, I think you're hot over the hat

Right so I that's the point too right so the 8.2 is my ceiling I'm never gonna be an 8.3 right unless I get fucking shredded just like Brad Pitt and fight which isn't gonna happen. Yeah, right So 8.2 is the highest I could absolutely be I think I sit pretty at a 7 8 though. Yeah for the most part Yeah, you uh fluctuate, right? Yeah But on the opposite side of that I can get really low Like if it's winter and I'm just pale as shit. I'm on the west coast a little fat

Little winter weight. Yeah, my god. I you can get down like a 5.6. I Whoa, buddy Dude, you're in california, dude. Everyone's skinny. I was gonna say six one All right, the same thing 5.5. I can't believe you threw me in the five You said california, dude. That's a whole different monster. I know that's why I said six one. I dropped significantly I sit for the most part on average. I would say I'm a 7.8. All right. I can get to an 8 too. Mm, right On the on the west coast my best day. I'm not an eight. See I feel like if I if I drop another 25

And just get like put just mostly muscle on I can I can get up to 8.4 Whoa, yeah Now you can't dude. I could sing Yeah, I could yeah, here's why I can sing. Yeah, which are automatically makes you six It just does yeah, it does I have a great personality. Yeah, that's seven Now I'm working on physical features. Yeah. Yeah, you're like, you know, also, you're just like You're like cuddly sort of, you know, girls like that. Like I feel like he could like that's what I'm saying Yeah, I you're sensitive and shit. Yeah, I could bridge the gap. You know, I could I could relate with people

Don't doubt me This is the most ridiculous conversation. Don't doubt me No, so wait, what are you on the west coast? Oh west coast. I'm a four and a half. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think Nobody cares about feelings out there Yeah, I honestly like it's it would be some of the worst people in the world probably live in like Hollywood Yeah, think about it. I mean, it's like scientifically proven Yeah, it definitely west coast california. I would say on average. I'm like a seven two. Yeah That's where I'm at

Six east coast on average. I would say seven eight seven nine. Yeah Can get up to an eight two You want to know the thing was if you were like an inch and a half taller You'd be an eight five out the park eight five. Yeah eight five Like if I was like five eleven, I would love my life so much more if I was like six two And I could sing we're talking nine three dude. Yeah, you're one of the hottest people on earth Oh, the hottest people on earth. Yeah, people are gonna think we're sociopaths. We are sociopaths. Yeah, I don't care. I mean um

Yeah, man It's a it's a shame. It's a shame because if I was six two and I could sing And you would also like But like you would also be able to like weigh more and be leaner though Yeah, so like you could be like just a 205. Yeah, it just like No fat on you a bulky fucking shredded mess. Yeah Fuck our parents suck. Yeah, I hate my dad. I know Oh my god

Oh, man Well, I think we could wrap this one. Yeah, I think we could wrap it so otherwise We're gonna keep going on and on about these things. This was a fucking fun episode. It was I had a good time I had a good time. Yeah, you had a good time. I had a great time. I had a good time. Yeah, honestly, I had a great time I had a good time Good. Can I ask you one question? What did you have a good time? I had a great time. That's awesome. Um Where can they find you Danny? Uh, you could find me on twitter and instagram. Um, another thing too though on my instagram I know that people listen to the last episode and we spoke about mental health

I've been doing some live instagram chats that uh People could come in and talk about their struggles with anxiety and panic So I do those every once in a while whenever i'm doing those live I know joe was in there the other night We were helping talking to some people it helps me as much as it helps you So at danielpriori on twitter and instagram just come hang out and that's it Fire

Uh, but yeah, that is all for this week's episode of the baseman yard. Thanks for listening guys. Where can they find you? You guys can find me Oh, you guys can go watch me on twitch sometimes. Thank you. I'm sorry The producer of the show gets mad at me. I do I got to write this thing produce this thing and now I got to edit this thing You won't even fucking plug the twitch guys go go follow the twitch twitch.tv slash joe sanagato Uh, there's like a notification thing that you can put on so anytime that I go live mostly on monday and wednesday nights Uh, you can check that at shit out the other thing too, but

Are those shorts all gone? Shorts are gone. Damn dude. I didn't even get any Yeah, I know you didn't shit. You got some I You son of a bitch All right, that's all right next time next time we'll fix it Fix it opposed. Anyway, that is all for this week's episode of the baseman yard. Thanks for listening. Take your head off