The Basement Yard - The Ultimate Sh*tshow

Episode Date: August 20, 2018

You'll know exactly why the title is what is at the 7:50 mark. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Because sometimes I get too close. You're fucking with the mic now. It's just sometimes I get too close. Sometimes I'm here This is a mess back up back up ready go Wait, I forgot what I was gonna say hold on. Let me take out my phone. Welcome back to the basement yard Yeah, I know but I just I don't know what's going on man. Welcome back to the basement yard. Oh The trio's back it's Frank Joe and Dan. Yay. Yay. I was first on that one you were I like why do I put myself silver? You know, it's weird how we have assigned seats. Yeah You guys are switching just to make a point you're gonna throw off a whole dynamic of this show Okay, you guys gonna have to switch back probably at some point whoa, it's weird over it's weird over here

Yeah, it's strange over here. It is straight, but it's a nice little corner, right? I feel safe. You feel safe It's a nice. Yeah, I feel safe. You look safe. You look good. You look great. Don't do this No, you look better. Honestly this side of you is way better. Yo, I would say this side I keep the same side you we also both you look great every side every dimension. Thanks, man So I'm gonna clip that It's easier to high-five you now because yeah, this is my fucking shattered hands dope dope dope How do you feel about this? Can I sit over there? Should I fucking leave

Can we all sit over there? Fucking believe the two cameras running. Yeah, not film the other Before we start the show I just want to remind everyone of our patreon if you go to patreon.com slash the basement yard patreon spelled P-A-T-R-E-O-N You can support the show and get some extra content in return such as exclusive episodes full-length videos Of those exclusive episodes and more What's going on? I'm sorry Don't you ever choke on this show ever again, I'm sorry

patreon.com slash the basement yard So I'm gonna say it. There's a big elephant in the room and I'm gonna address it Frankies weren't sketchers You need to give it context he's got sketches on there hold on it's 2018 Let me let me paint the picture. It's 2018. He's a grown-ass man. He's got sketches on all right you go now That was the picture. That's not you need to give that fucking sentence context And all I know is that I came in here, and I sat down I looked down and I was like what what is that? What is that? No, you didn't see anything. I looked at those. I said are those are those yeah smart There used to be a big rubber label going through the laces on the front I cut that

Said sketchers on it. Yo sketchers is making a push nowadays. Yo, Gary Vee What has his own like signature like sketch or I think stop who would buy a sneaker, okay? Of Gary Vee thank you first of all it's like K. Swiss or Sketchers with was this shit lugs never the shit. I had lugs as a kid Funkmaster flex the poor man's Timberlands Also, you know Frankie had Timberlands sneakers. Yes, I did Like shelter. Oh, no, no, no wait wait shelter. They were like hard on the front. No, they weren't they were regular sneakers I remember them as clear as day. They were white and gray. Listen. I promise they were up towel up tops a high top

Up top But these aren't sketchers Yeah, wait, do you know I just say that they're not sketchers sneakers Okay, they're boots their work boots that I needed for work and they were and I had to buy them for work Yeah, my guys said don't get like $300 work boots Get regular work boots. So you got free work boots eight They're like 89 bucks They're all listen sketchers isn't having me plug anything I'm getting no money from them the inside all memory foam

It is very comfortable steel toe OSHA certified. It's nice Really good, you know, they're tied so tight. I had a time memory foam. So you never forget The only thing that you can tell that Memory foam so you never forget that you're wearing sketchers What you're feeling sketchers ever cool, like I'm very well aware I think so girls back in the day Like when we were kids things used to be cool Skechers were one of them. They were giving them away on every show for girls for girls Double dare

2000 yeah with the guy Mark Summers would be like all right now Let him know what they win if they get through the the nose picking guy Yeah, and it's like a new in is that it was that black guy behind that fucking day Yeah, yeah, and he was using everything you put the shoes on his hands. He'd be like, oh my god Maybe not dishing for that job. Yeah, like do some of these shoots Yeah, they're giving away like compact computers. He's over there like fake typing. Oh my god This is a great gift a giant Mac and he's like you'll win a purple Mac book computer an apple Yeah, you know, I never put together mark Summers and summer Sanders

A lot of some a lot of summer going on there a lot of summer. Yeah, I mean it was great weather summer Sanders She still got it legit athlete who she was an Olympian. I think mark summers summer Sanders It was an Olympic Sanders was an Olymp for what Olympic swimmer. She's a swimmer. Yeah. Oh, I like that. She's aerodynamic First of all an Olympic swimmer. She was a she was an Olympian that just screams money I really hope I'm right on this Sanders it says some of sandals the first you sure you're not thinking of Emmanuel Sanders. No It's a for American former competition swimmer an Olympic champion from 92 Champion yeah, wait 92 92. Oh, man. She must have been so smoky back. Oh wait, but oh, yeah

Yeah, wait, she did lose. She is now married to a guy named Eric schloppy. Yeah, that's a loss summer schloppy Summer schloppy sounds very delicious. Yeah, but not good for you. That sounds like a bodega sandwich. Yeah summer Something you get it like wet willies on Miami Beach. We got the Colicab. We got the Superman. We got the summer schloppy Yeah, exactly. I'm gonna get to summer schloppy's and she should just give up shoot She should give up her Olympic medals for that probably. Yeah. Yeah, she was an Olympian. That's crazy That's fire. She had it back. Yo, figure it out. Yeah, good show always kind of weird how the kid was like always like

Right next to her though. Yeah, not saying anything. Yeah, just be like do you like that? Not say one word yo, I remember there was they had like no talent really too Yo, there was one kid on one episode who their talent and the fucking everyone had to guess it was that from head to toe They can fit through a hanger. Yeah, and I was I did it. Well, I was like, I could fucking do this. Yeah on this show The talents were like he can talk to his parakeet. I was like, I can talk to parakeets I was just thinking that one the other thing about figure it out, too is why was The announcer whispering Today's his secret talent is yeah, it's like, you know, I can hear you you can jump over his dog

Yeah, I'm like and like everyone can jump over their fucking dog literally and the and the fucking like people that were like trying to like Danny Tamborelli. Oh my god And Shit, that's a big yes huge. Oh my god kill him kill him Frankie Frankie. No, no, don't kill him. Don't kill him. Just for you Oh My god All right, welcome back to the bed

Yo, that was fucking insane. That was terrifying. I'm afraid to keep my feet on the floor right now Oh, I feed her up on this on this. Yeah, I got them on the rungs. Thank god for the Skechers boots, huh? Yeah, that's actually really funny. We were shitting on him came in handy though came in fucking handy I feel as comfortable as a dove on these floors right now comfortable as it does not an expression when we're forward from that But so Danny Tamborelli Hold on I'm just fine. Oh my god. That was really good honestly. And now what are you guys doing? Sorry Trying to make my guy feel comfy trying to get you guys back in the mood

I honestly don't even know what we were talking about because I'm so distracted by that goddamn thing We were talking about figure it out. Yeah. Yeah and summer standard in an olympian. Excuse me. Yeah, hold on summer sloppy I just want to say one last thing about that bug if you went over there and tried to kill it and it flew We'd have some problems. That would be great Yeah, like camera wise But it would be bad because I would have been flailing my you would have heard The highest of pitches. You know how scary it is too when you niche the niche

You speak a Russian over there when you miss the initial strike Yeah, dude the initial strike my like the corner and my boot like folded up So he like went right under the ground under the door. That's why you gotta go 12 to 6 slam that right? I should have but I feel I always feel bad killing bugs. Oh, no, I do. I feel great killing. I don't like killing things Oh, I love it. I didn't I mean that that didn't feel good, but he was an intruder at that point in time Oh, he oh he intruded Hung around for us. Yeah, he he chilled. He was taking one for the team. Yeah, he was like, we're doing this He went out on this fucking shield. He wasn't scared of shit. Yeah, he wasn't he was pretty ballsy. Thank god for sketches

We were just saying it probably came from this the radiator right here Terrifying. I can't I can't yo, could you imagine a fucking swarm of them coming right now? It'd be like world war three and yo if a swarm of cockroaches came out of here First of all, it'd be hilarious for the episode and everything But I'd also have to pay two rents. Yeah, because I'm moving out of this one I have to break this lease and like one of them could talk like Caesar from like planet All you had was one go Pile out of the fucking corner. We've come for Charles

We want his remains I always think of those beetles from the mummy that would just like burrow into people's skin and like Off into their fucking eyes and shit. Can we not here don't say like the average human swallows like spiders like annually Eight and like a year or something like that, right? I'm duct tape in my mouth shut. I mean, I don't sleep if I'm congested I don't sleep in my mouth open. I'll die then I'll eat a spider I've eaten a spider before

Why I was dared. It was a daddy long leg. It was just a little They're actually not hardly like not technically spiders. I have no idea, but they're I'll tell you what it looks like a spider It looks like a fucking spider. I spider in my book. I saw something and it was like, yo, I'm so afraid I know I keep looking at the grounds His feet aren't on the floor me neither. I'm elevated. I'm comfy. I saw something I I forgot where it was, but it was like if Daddy longlings were bigger their venom would be like the most venomous like deadly like of all the arachnids I feel like it's like what always one of those like tall. They're like don't kill them because they kill other spiders

That's what I say. I hate that when people like don't kill that. They keep the bugs out I'm like, fuck the bugs too. Yeah, fuck them and the bugs Yeah, you're saying that until there's a wasp fucking in your room and then sleepy time How is a wasp gonna get into my room? How did a roach get in here? They're sneaky and they can like and you think wasps aren't no that's where you see they're not sneaky Yeah, they are. No, they're not wasps are sneaky. What have you seen a wasp do anything sort of sneaky? One of these things but they're very loud you hear them coming. Yeah a wasp is loud loud as fuck Scary bastards too. I don't know about that. Fuck insects. Do they do stuff for us?

Yes, what especially bees. Well bees are bees insects? Yeah Yeah, what the fuck else would they be mammals? I don't know. But there's like different classifications for shit Like spiders aren't insects. There are arachnids Which are insects? No, I don't think so. I think it's like that's their classification. But like they're like that genome They're like an insect genome. Let's look it up. They're definitely insects. Yeah, like without a doubt. It's a bug. It's a bug Are spiders bugs are spiders? I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say yes

They're fucking insects our spiders bugs are insects both spiders and insects are into invertebrates But spiders are not insects insects have a head thorax and abdomen and the thorax has three pairs of legs They also, uh, they also have eyes antennae and mouth parts the explorat science center website points out They're insects. They're they they belong the group. They belong to is called the insecta Oh, so they're insects. I don't know dude. This is not like definitive. It's like a trans bug It's transitioning. Yeah, exactly. I'm not an insect. I'm an insecta It's like, all right, dude. Okay, take you and your thorax out of here I'm still looking at old school pictures of summer sanders. Yeah, she's she's good

Hell, yeah, I'm trying to look up like a 92 picture of summer sanders. That's one with that 92 I was just popping out. It's like four years away from fucking Dude, let me see. I want to see a picture of her shoulders. She's got something. Let me see She could do 500 pull-ups probably that wingspan can fuck all of us up For meters. Hell, yeah Good for her. She had to be a lot of like first-time crushes summer sanders. Hell, yeah I don't know. I probably wrote her a letter or something dude I wanted to get on fucking figure it out or one of those stupid shows so bad

I know the worst remember when the kids were like They'd be like does your talent involve jumping they'd be like And she'd be like, yes, it does It does tommy you fucking idiot don't embarrass me judges It does. Yeah, Tommy's an idiot. We can get rid of this kid now. He doesn't know what his own talent is Those kids sucked. I was more talented than anything that they could have ever done. Yeah A lot of introverts weren't talkative Yeah, and then they always I used to hate when they used to make bad guesses like on purpose like trying to be funny

Yeah, it's your talent Smelling a monkey's butt Yeah, do you eat ham? That was Danny Tamborelli. Yeah, probably and then just they would just get slimed And what was the the Mary Beth Zimberg? Oh, yeah, Lori Beth. Lori Beth. Damn it. That bitch lived in the slime. Dude. She lived in it Big ol big ol lady. She's yeah, she's got some power. I was when Amanda Bynes wasn't certifiably insane. Yeah Oh, Amanda show. Yo Amanda Bynes Used to be fire. Really? Yeah. She used to be smoke show hairspray mad hot. What was the movie where she was rich?

um Think like a man No, that was the soccer movie. I think It was like, but I or am I thinking wait. I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know Yo, she was hot in that movie. I don't I don't think she was like to me ever been Dude, she's hot right there. Click that pic Let me see She's attractive, but she's not like she's hot. Yeah, I mean she's not, you know

No, I kind of feel bad for her. That's pretty funny records She's like my one true love uh Gillian from fifth grade. Wow. You know you brought it up I didn't think we were ever going to talk about that We were talking about how like Do you remember writing love notes to people in class? Oh god Who are you writing love notes to not in fifth grade once sixth grade came around noting I like came into it Yeah, and I used to write love notes to this girl and I forgot what her name was But I used to use the pseudonym chester

Yeah, did you know this girl? Yeah It's true we didn't want to get caught by the teachers So we would I would say my name was chester. You're not sending it through the mail She could see you passing it, but maybe it was from I'd be like this isn't from me. This is from chester That's It's actually smarter. Thank you. That's how maniacal this kid was when he was younger. He was like a methodical liar So not see there's no lying in that. I just didn't want to get caught. Do you see you're painting me as some sort of no I was I had a plan maniac. I thought about it. Yeah, but I will find but you put the word liar in there

I was never a liar. I mean maybe when I was like fucking 14 you want to do this Joey's to come home from middle school every day. I got into another fight today You used to say you got into a fight every day lambs hot shot. Don't fucking come for me Hold on back to this you you wrote letters under this Okay, what was her name her real name was ashley. Oh no, I wanted I don't remember her name, but it was not it was like angelica She was in on the two. Yeah Transferred it. Yo, that's hilarious. Yeah. Did you ever do that? Like do you like me? Yes? No Yeah, of course. There was one time where I wrote her a sad letter

Oh my god, I remember this and I licked my pinky And I stamped it on the paper and then I circled it and put an arrow toward it and wrote tear Why did it it was meant to show that I was crying. Oh my god, dude, that's what you didn't think it would dry the next day No, but like, you know when a paper dries, it's still different. You know what I mean And she was getting it soon enough where like maybe it would still be a little damn I'm shocked This is I'm blown away by this. I usually have something witty to say. I don't I'm just this is top tier fascinating

Yeah, top tier love love not writing. I was like, why are you not working for the government? Great question. It's like Frank Apicnail over here. He was really getting after it. Oh my god, that's so funny. Jesus fucking forging tears Sooner nymphs and shit. Oh chester. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, I remember me and you were passing notes in Fourth grade. I want to say in science class And we were just like cursing at each other but not cursing. Yeah, but like, oh, you're a son of a ditch And then I went back with something like like that and our teacher caught it and screamed down Well, what was always really fun for me is in fifth grade He used to get love notes from like four girls in class

And they had a direct line through me So I used to read all these fucking love notes he used to get and none would be for me depressing It was very sad. Yeah, and then there was one. I remember we used to go to the mount carmel dance Shout out to that and then there was one up from a girl who was like, well, you saved me a dance And I remember instantly like yo at that time. I was like, yo saves us this is fucking nuts Like this kid's about to get super grindage. Yeah, and it's basically like fucking back then. It's like dancing is fucking Yeah, I remember my dick just getting rubbed Down to the bone. Yeah, that's just wrong to the point where you're like

Kind of in pain. Yeah, kind of in pain. Why does it hurt? You still like kind of like have a boner Oh, I had oh, I had a boner. Oh my god. I was rock solid all the time. Yeah, even though it hurt I was like, I'll take the pain the spin move tuck job. You take the go to bed. Yeah, I know what I mean I used to tuck it into my waistband. Oh, I just let it go I like we knew what was gonna happen. So if it's there, it's no surprise, right, which is nothing Nothing would happen. Yeah, but I one time in high school was grinding on this Spanish girl It's just a funny sentence to hear One time in high school is grinding on the Spanish girl and my back was against a wall. Oh my god

And the belt loop of my jeans rubbed and I got a massive blister at the top of my ass crack And it hurt for days You ever grind so hard. How'd you grind it? You ever grind so hard gives you like an extra fucking asshole. Yeah Oh my lord That's exactly what happened. It was intense. It was pretty intense school dances are awesome though A lot of pressure a lot of pressure a lot of pressure There's always uh, were you uh The kid that bridged the gaps between sexes

Like yo, like I'm gonna like the girl side and the and the boy side Oh, I don't I don't think so You kind of you kind of like played the wall a little bit let people start I played the wall a little bit I didn't I didn't have my first grind until I would say like mid-seventh grade because I was afraid I didn't know how to do it. Yeah, so I one day went in front of the mirror and like practice I practice grinding practice You were practice grinding. Yeah, and I said I literally looked at myself in the mirror I was like, yo, this is awful

And I stopped so what how do you do that in the mirror like you're just like can you do it? Yeah, of course So like I did this I did it too So like the grinding was a lot of like it was for the most part it was like back wiggle wiggle back like it was like The imaginary arm up that's that's what it was and then every now and then you would throw in like a Like a wave back wiggle wave back wiggle. There was no like that. No one knew what they were doing Oh, man. Sometimes you did get in sync though Yeah, and that was like any short pockets of time and that was when it was like getting dope. Yeah. Oh my god We're insane. It was daddy Yankee. Boom. Ka-doom. Ka-doom. Ka-doom. Ka-doom

You were there basically dude Sean Paul Yeah, like just a little bit by 50 cent. That was a big one. That was a goodie After math you're grinding on some ass Dude disco inferno, too. Hell. Yeah. One, two, three, let's go. Yeah, that's why I'm so hard You're grinding hard to that. Hell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, every I mean, do you remember the like Six months span where like this is why I'm hot. Oh my god. The biggest thing in the world. Yeah I haven't heard much from mims. I don't think anyone has no Poor mims poor mims poor mims. What else used to be cool back then like when we were in like middle school high school elementary school

I don't know man. You you honestly feel like everything Everything was cool. What about sketches? Not sketches Girls did wear sketches though. Did they? Yeah, they wore them. Remember light up sneakers. Yeah I like yours or don't I would love a pair. What about do you remember when the girls would wear echo red? Hell, yeah Yeah, I remember that shit echo was huge huge Frank used to have those Fucking writers that would zip up past his face. I had a lot of those I had like four Rhino like rhinos on everything. That was their logo. Oh the echo. Yeah, I'll let me do. Yeah, Marquette go Marquette go

What I used to have lot 29 shirts with like the gangster like tweety bird. Oh, yeah gangster, sweetie bird I remember those Frank. He also had a snowman shirt. Yeah, we've spoken about that I'm not happy about it. Yeah, I need to find that picture. It's called get get that snow. What do you say? I got that snow man. Let me pull it up right now. His mom had no idea I bought it. So I bought all those shirts for myself Yeah, but the fact that you bought a young jeezy shirt is pretty fucking cool. That is right. Yeah, thank you Young jeezy merch That's dope. I got that snow man. I got it. It was a sparkly snowman on the front of it

It was amazing. How fucking dope is that? I had a christopher walking shirt from like King of new york I need more you had what you ever see the movie king of new york You had a christopher walking king of new york shirt. Yeah Where did you where do you get that? I bought it Same question like canal street or somewhere like that's where all the dope shit junction and canal Yeah, like I was just like, yeah, I want this fucking king of new york shirt because I've seen this movie once and it's like Every rapper talks about it

That's so funny. Yeah There are any like movie shirts. I don't think so. I had the the life serial Uh gangster life serial shirt. Oh my god. It looked like a life It was a serial that had like a Rolex in it a chain And it had a life serial box and it said gangster life. I saw somebody with a tattoo that said hug life That's like a bailey thing like uh like but like how tupac had thug life It said a hug life on their stomach like a real person a real person What's wrong with them?

Uh, they're an idiot even though hugs are dope hugs are dope. I always love a good hug, honestly Yeah, what are you doing over there? Trying to find that picture, but we're past it. It's all right. Fuck your fish. It's fine if I find it I'll post it. Yeah You know, I actually looked for it the other day. I was gonna post it for your birthday But you probably untact yourself from it. No, it's all my stuff on facebook is like only I could see it Oh If I find it, I'll send it to you. Thank you another thing too like Not having cell phones. Remember like having to call your friend's house

Or go ring their doorbell. Yeah. Yeah Did you ever have a beeper? Yeah, I think we were too we're too young. Yeah, I missed it by just a couple years But I'll tell you what my brother had a beeper and I used to just carry it around. It didn't even work I know I would just cut that shit on really Yo Beepers were mad cool. You know what else is mad cool string backpacks dude. I had so many so many Do you know what was in my string backpack? I would carry it everywhere because I didn't have money. It didn't have a phone. So what was in it?

Sidekick beeper. No, he just said didn't have no it didn't have a phone didn't have a wallet So all I had in it was like Uh like a tennis ball A swiss army knife Which I don't know why I carried that around. Yep Good thing I have What for what am I What am I going to tell you? What size stone? You never know you never know like a butterfly knife

I was I had I had one that had um A knife in it also Like I'm not even exaggerating like four cans of axe body spray. I do remember you having that Axe body spray was a big. Yeah, I just got flashbacks He was a big axe guy. No, the axe body spray was a big thing. Well, hell. Yeah, kilo was the the scent that I had How did you remember? I remember that stuff and I also had uh notes that a girl during the summer had written to me Remember that writing camp letters like like letters to girls in camp. You never went to camp I went to day camp during the summer for a few I never went to camp

Yeah, I kind of wish I went to know it was like a girl from home But they went away to camp and you would write them letters. Oh, no No, we were at the camp together. The girl actually was from Ireland every Joey never believed that she existed Most camp girlfriends don't that's why she actually did Nicole Flanagan if she's out there Nicole, I need to talk to you. Please reach out so we could verify this. Yeah, let's narrow that down in Ireland You know somebody's going on Nicole Flanagan. There's so many Nicole Flanagan's probably Nicole Flanagan that went to shibbly day camp I don't know what happened there. Hey clamp. Hello shibbly day camp. All right before we move on

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Still verify it. You can ask any one of my family members that actually went to the camp. You're just smoking people again Filthy. He's like, yo, they called me spider-man. They did That's what they called me. They called me spider-man. I couldn't rock climb right now It's it's a lot harder than you think. No way. I couldn't it's hard as shit. Yeah I went with my cousin Pete to this rock climbing place. It's like pretty close to here Pete to hot guy and Um, first of all, let's do it's climb up the wall. I'm like, look at these calves popping popping vascular just crazy um

So we went and we go to like the easiest one And I get up to the top And then I'm like that was pretty that was harder than I thought it was gonna be So we go to the neck they do do about like decimal points. It's like 7.0 and then 7.1 or something You know the what are the decimals for like like the difficulty difficulty. Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, so we went to one up Yo, the the difference is astronomical It's so hard like super thin like like yeah, or they're just there's no hooks on something Yeah, and not even just that but also like the like the wall like juts out

Yeah, and then like you have to like go back in See, I would never want to do that. I would definitely do that again. Yeah, why don't you guys race? Who would win a race right now a rock climbing race? I'm not confident at all on that. I haven't done it in a very long time, but I think he's welcome I think I would extra job. He's the spider man. He's spider man over there. Come on It depends much while we're on I'll be honest. Like I don't know if I can get like four feet off the ground Are you afraid of heights? Oh Insanely terrified. Wait, really? Yeah, that's scared four feet. Yeah, dude

You could jump on your skull and you'll be fine at four feet. No, it's like if I'm standing on something that's really high I'm I'm in trouble. Yeah, but what is really high? Just like if I was standing on top of your roof. Yeah, I want to get down Why because I don't like heights. Okay But like you're like surrounded. I'm not like Like I've been on rollercoaster. You just said terrified like but like I'm terrified of heights like things like that Like climbing climbing something you're in a harness I don't trust anything man made. I don't trust you. That's why that's why I would never fucking jump out of a fucking airplane

That is that I would definitely do like you would do that 100% you're a maniac. You couldn't pay me to do it No, I'm not doing that if Joe was like, yo, I'll give you five grand to shoot an extra Joe video of you jumping out of a plane To be like, you know, take that five grand shove it up your box Yo I don't want any part of that. No me neither. I would Give me the five grand. I'll do it. I'll do it for two grand. I have some guy like name fucking like skylar strapped my back You ready, man? Oh my god. And all I've done 416 jumps successful. Yeah, I've only had to use my back I'm shooting three times. All right on the count of three one two three mahalo

Yeah, I'm like trying to pull your hands out. He's like put your hands out. Enjoy it Shut the fuck up. All right. I'm like 100% do it. No, I'm not doing that. Not even close Wait, so you really you know what? You know, it's crazy about the rock climbing thing, which I will even admit it's scary Yeah, it's scary. I got to the top of the rock and I'm like, am I supposed to climb down and the guy's like, no I just jump backwards and you repel. Yeah, like the machine does it for you. Oh, all right So you jump but you free fall for like a quick second. I'm good on that And then it catches you. I would never bungee jump either. I did the the sky coaster You know what that is like they have it at like amusement parks and what I did was at lake compounds

Oh, it brings you back It like brings you back and you're in a harness with either one or two other people So and someone pulls the lever and then you drop for like five seconds Then it just catches you and you take off. Well, I did that slingshot thing Is that it? Yeah, I think it's the same thing. It's like alpha tower one and then like you swing all the way down You're in that big harness. Yeah, and you're like six feet from the floor. Oh, no ours was like 300 feet in the air Yeah, it's it's super high. I did it six flights. The one I saw was like it swings down mad close to the floor

No, this one this one. That was the scariest thing. I've probably that's the closest I'll ever get to like bungee jumping I would I would bungee jump too. The thing is is like Getting higher and getting tired would make me scared Wait what like climbing? Oh Exerting energy and getting to a scarier point is just not just doesn't ice me I don't know how people do that like In the desert with like no harnesses or like the Alps. Yeah, like you're in the fucking the grand canyon climbing I always feel like that's like an opening scene in a movie too of like some dude like

Possible like grabs on with like two fingers. Yeah Just there hanging like this and shit like Thank god, and then the fucking opening credits start or no the rock comes off. Oh, no Yeah, yeah, he grabs onto another one. Ah, and you think he fell on the camera just pans and he's just there by two fingers That hole that shit. I wouldn't do I wouldn't do like free. I think it's called like freeform rock climbing I wouldn't do that. I would do like in a closed area with mats That was because when we went we got I got to the top and I think it's like It's high

It's like fuck. Yeah. It's like 12 15 feet No, it's higher than that way higher than that. I'm bugging and the platform is small when you get up there those things that you stand on I you don't even stand you climb up to the top and then you just jump off Yeah, the only rock climbing I ever did was in gym class And the platform I swear to god was like this Like it was like a foot and a half wide and you had to climb up there and stand on it Did you guys have to do the rope in gym class? No. Yeah, I didn't like that either. I had to do the rope That that like thinking back on it

Yo, what the fuck? Yo, seriously like you're climbing up a fucking rope. How high is it? They were high like the high is the ceiling in the gym. Yeah Fucking burn. I burned the shit out of my hand. Why are you like what if you fall off? You fall to the ground to the ground. Yeah, you're not even harnessed Awesome. Love it. We did it with mats though. I I'm pretty sure they were mats at ours But still falling that high onto it. What those mats are not really mats. They're like, yeah soft concrete The other thing remember the fucking pegboard. Oh my god. What kind of fucking what kind of fucking gym class did you guys have?

No, that we played basketball. No Yeah, we had the thing in there and you literally would have to hold the peg in there and climb up and across and down And across it up. Dude, we played sports. You got american ninja warriors over here. It really was. It really was crazy Yo, the pegboard was hard as shit. I don't think I ever got like past like the fourth rung You would you would have two pegs. I know what it is because I've seen it on america. Yeah, yeah, yeah So they would make you do that. Yeah. Yeah, how would like I mean, hey How would the fat kids do that? They wouldn't so they would fail gym class They would have to supplement it with something else. Yeah

It's like when you can't do the sit and reach and you do something else Do you know what one of my gym classes was in this class one of my gym classes in high school was fucking square dancing Yeah, I had that. Oh, I didn't have that In high school. Why the fuck do I need to learn? Yeah, it was part of the curriculum. It sucked It was it was weird. It was weird. So like six grade when I was at 141 That was when we had like the traditional gym with the pegboard and the rope and all that shit But then seven and tenth grade at baccalaureate They didn't have a gym. They had a like a fitness room

And then we would go to a park about a mile away. We would walk to a park a mile away from the school and play We'd play We would play football. We played ultimate frisbee. We played handball ultimate frisbee's awesome, dude It was fire. Yeah, and uh, I was the ultimate gym class hero. Oh, yeah And then in high school so hard for like 11th and 10th grade It was dude, I went hard There's pictures on freaky's buy space facebook facebook his facebook of him and uh Who's it? Troy smith. Troy smith. Troy smith. Ohio State Jersey

And he has a football on his hands And all he did was take the football hold it above his head and then jump in the air and someone was taking pictures Like he was making a crazy grab and there's like someone standing right next to me. Just like Just like looking at me. I need this for my space. Oh snap this Listen, what is he doing? He's forging tears fucking catches. What else is he? Look, he's like you guys know I play for Ohio State. I was killing it killing it. He's so funny killing it That was a good time. I would do it all over again But yeah, like jim and jim was like a regular for me growing up and then joey was like the gym class guy and fucking

You gotta crush it in gym class In elementary school, there's no such thing as a gym class hero though at that point everyone wants to be the best Yeah, there's no such thing. There is no for the gym class hero you and denis No, but i'm saying and then like lauren bettencourt We were the best but i'm saying like there's no like gym class hero like when you get to high school and you're like, dude relax Wasn't that a band? Yeah. Yeah, it was. What was their big song? Dick What was the song you got

Oh this whole episode's a mess take a look at my girl Yeah, that's it That was so funny Yeah, so you were a gym class hero. He was I can see it He's still our gym class hero. He was like the number one guy for the maypole in fucking fifth grade This whole maypole thing. It just is so weird. It blows his mind Because it's like so choreographed and it's like we talked about it on Basemeyard once and then I googled ps2 maypole and it was sure enough it was there

It wasn't ours, but it was someone else. It looks super culty. It is it was it is very morbid It's like all the chosen sit here and watch them Literally walked with like his hands behind his back. He knew exactly who he was fucking picking in gym class and everyone's sitting down like Waiting and he would go Sanicato You're on the maypole Literally and everyone's like It was like some hunger games like opening ceremony times

It was the last thing that went on during the dance festival right and it was only fifth graders So when he got to do it, it was like, yo, it was like that was the elite of the thing was why did it make it all like the inadequate Everyone performs I know they like walk a little bit, but then they sit while you guys every grade has a different dance Yeah, every grade so everyone's on the floor is the whole school is out there Yeah, I know but when I was watching on youtube Yeah, there's just kids sitting there watching the elite of the elite fucking

Strap this poll literally they were strapping the poll and everyone else was just like Yeah, it was lit. What were you gonna say? um Was that like field day or no it was a different day Which guess who else won everything in field day not me you and denis well denis did but they always put me Because what you do is your classmates vote you into something And I always was voted into the I don't think that's true because I never got voted into anything I always chose to lose

No, but like I never got to choose what I was in because I would have never chose anything that he was in Because I didn't win a first place ribbon until fifth grade because he wasn't in the thing that I was in All the girls did skipping all the guys did sprints and then they had Frankie was like The the potato sack or the what's the wheelbarrow? No the what's the Do you like it like the dolly that you sit on? Oh the scooter. Yeah the scooter It's like a scooter on your bus the little scoot You've done first place before now. No, I never got first place in any of those damn dude First place. Yo, the only race we also had. Yes. The only recognition I ever got in elementary school

Besides I got student in the month once Joe used to get it like five times a year for every grade. I got it once in fourth grade and then once during Uh fourth grade our dance festival was after 9 11. So our dance festival dance was to new york new york. Yeah, it was awesome All right. I was like, where are we going here? We were doing this dance and our fucking gym teacher was legitimately he choreographed the whole thing We had these fucking plastic tubes and american like top hats And he was stumped as to what to do for this one part of the song And I was like, what if we just like hold the tube like this and just go

And he's like yes You got choreographed. He's like Frankie come up here. Frankie would have in front of the whole class and he did it And was like we're putting that in. Yeah, awesome. Amazing. So we put it in at the dance festival It was like we all did it. This is Frankie Alvarez. He was the one that came up showing the move I was like, yeah, dude in front of the whole school. Everyone's parents the whole school Frankie's up there doing his thing. What did they do after that? Did they clap? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we got a lot of classic Yeah, let's go baby. Yeah, everyone's going ham. Yo, I can't wait to have kids to just drink So much and go to the fucking dance festivals. Just celebrate the most insignificant people bitch. Yeah, that'd be so funny. I'd be great

Oh, man getting drunk and going your kid stuff must be awesome must be awesome But you got you got you got some deeper problems She enjoyed you Nah, fuck that. I think I think what's what's Janine got tonight? Oh, she got a dance. All right. Where's the whiskey? Where's the whiskey? Let me touch her here Here's the thing, right? If you have a son Or a daughter who's into sports The hell's better than that

No, that's awesome. But are you gonna be are you gonna be that dad that like yells at your kid? Hell no, I hated dads like that. Wait, which what do you mean? Because I'm gonna fucking like if my kids a fuck up No, no, no, no, no, I would never do that when we get home though. What yeah when we get home How did you not turn two there? games on the last bit and everywhere You gotta clean that up. No, that was authentic. Yeah, that was actually really good Like friday night lights like taped a ball to his hands and shit fumbling I would not be that parent, but when we got home, they'd have it

Yeah, but yo, what's better than that because I think about it like yo You're you already like sit down and have a beer when you're watching the game Imagine going and watching your kid play dude. I'm having a beer scoring touchdowns And like pointing to my dad and he would point back or probably some of the greatest moments of my life. It's awesome That's kind of dope. Yeah, and like he would like give me like did like Good job self-improvable. I was like, oh my god. This is what I've wanted for so long There was one year of baseball I played with my younger brothers That's cool. And like I would fucking like I'd hit a home run and I'd like no one else would care

My brothers would be the first ones there. I'd be like, yo, that's fucking dope. It's super dope playing sports with your like Uh, young friends like did you guys play sports together like same sports? We all play sports together There's nothing better All I feel like all friendships are built around like Group shit like that all of ours are that's exactly. I mean him and I like if you guys didn't play sports together like You guys would probably still be friends, but that's where you really fucking learn to be friends I would say got close with like more than three quarters probably my

My only friend that I didn't meet through sports. Yeah the rest of them you and espo Yeah We all were at the park and we all played basketball and football and whatever the baseball like random ass shit Together that's the only reason why we were friends. That's why I just want my kid to play some kind of sport or do something Where it just involves other people. Yeah, like and it really does build like your ability to work with other people Yeah, like socialization skills and shit and like Problem solving. Yeah, literally like having to cheer on the kid who's batting ninth and has never gotten a hit like that's That's dope. Yeah, you know, it's also awful because I was that kid really. Yeah

I was terrible at baseball, but like I remember just getting up literally every time I stepped in the box I was like, there's no I'm touching this thing. Really? Yeah, I looked at everything I my on base percentage was super high. My batting average was like Abysmal. You had on base percentage like six fifty Because here's the thing. Here's what my dad told me. He's like, listen, Danny, you're not really great at hitting But also All these kids these kids can't pitch

Yeah, he's like throw they all can't throw strikes Just go up there. If you see something you want to hit hit it. If not, just let it go. Yeah. Yeah Kids are bouncing shit. Yeah throwing over the fucking Backstop and I walked all the time. I was fast as shit. So I would just like steal There was once where they for during a little league game They put me into pitch and I couldn't like my I can throw hard That's happening. That's happening. Yo, my aim with a ball is terrible And I remember that that my coach was like, yo, just

Just like catch. So I was literally just throwing like catch Rock, yo, I was no, I didn't even get a hit everything was just in the dirt or on the fucking like way outside I literally was just like, all right Just like catch And just toss it. I have you beat My coach at one time was like Who's left-handed? I was like one of the only lefties on the team. He's like, all right. I want you to pitch today

First of all, that's the most go hard fucking coach ever. I know you're a child. I know Who's looking for lefties? Are you a kid hit lefties? Yeah, this guy. They're not good again. It's also funny My dad hated this guy. He was a fucking blowhard But he was just like clearly he was scouting little league. Yeah, dude. I was in third grade Who here's got off speed stuff? He's like, who's uh, who's a lefty? I was like Me and he was like, all right. Well, I want you to pitch. You know, I pitched so bad that the umpire Had to come out and show me how to hold the baseball In the middle of the game. That's amazing. I remember at elmjack. I was like, yeah, I'm never playing this sport again at elmjack

They had a rule in like the first like league. I think it was uh, Bantam the first league where you were allowed to pitch where like the kids were allowed to pitch They had a rule where if you threw four straight balls, you were given another three balls In order to throw so if it was like four and all they'd be like, all right They expand the strike zone and be like, all right, throw three more. So the count would be like six and one Really? Yeah. Well, if it was three, oh, I'd be like tossing this one in the dirt We did three more strikes. You know when I was younger like I was a pitcher. I was pretty good They pitched me every game mad illegal probably

My my fucking arm would be well. It's not it's not good for you. Well. I swear to god I think there was only one pitcher on the team and I pitched every game. Yeah, you know, it's even funnier You know who the coach was? His dad His arm is fucking jelly at this point the kids complaining it hurts. This should be illegal, right dad Yo, there was a point where he's literally in the morning wake up big job job time to get up How you feeling? How's that arm feeling? All right? Feel good. Put a jacket over it. All right. You got five or six You got five you got five in you. All right. Yo, it's so funny

But also, uh, there was a point where my dad was coaching I was pitching Keith was a catcher. Thomas was the umpire We're all involved in the same game Yeah, exactly. I got the game ball because they got hit in the face with the ball I remember the one team we put we played together on the angels and keith cardinals We hit we did astros angels cardinals and there was I'm sure there's others But I remember those three for sure and keith hit a monster grand slam a walk-off grand slam in the park It's fire. Yo, it's fire insane insane

It was so funny. I remember that too. That was when I think we were on the angels. Yeah You know and we would have a parade Yes, you remember. Yeah, I remember. Yeah, we had those two little baseball parades. You hold a little flag The good old days for your our sponsor was always like sip surf and play. Yeah And then always on the back of your jersey was the sponsor. Yeah The parades were dope just walks through the fucking whole town I thought you you guys said you didn't meet playing sports. No, we went before that But we were like we were on the same that's why we were on the same baseball teams and shit and as well as your cousin

That's his your cousin. Not my cousin. I shit. I call him my cousin. Yeah, they were they're like they're family friends Right. It's it's like in a time I didn't start hanging out with espo until I was like 15 Yeah, espo came around late in the game. So you guys have been like Best friends for Literally 20 22 years holding pre-k for I don't know three four. Yeah, so you guys are been best friends for two decades Yeah, yeah Can I ask a question? Oh

Sure. Yes, I'm gonna ask you first. Okay, because I already know his answer I don't know what that means. You don't even know the question yet to save his life. Would you bang him? Dude, what? Yo, think about this. I'd thrash you. Yes. Are you kidding me? Let's go couple ground rules couple ground rules. Yeah, dude. I get to save his life and I get to come That's great. He's going till completion. Yeah. Yeah I might I might let me do these ground rules. I gotta get these ground rules. Go ahead It's missionary Okay, we get there's have to be eye contact. Oh, yeah a lot

You the whole time you're staring at him and you're apologizing to him while you're doing it Why how many saving my life? How many I should be apologizing to him. Yeah Yeah, he's saying sorry that you have to do a missionary but ramming missionary. That's probably like the gayest Missionary possible position like of all the gay sex positions. That's the gayest one. It's gonna get worse You can do straight butt sex with that position, bro Missionary anal is the pinnacle of gay. Yeah I'm not contributing to this. No, I'm just think about it. Think about it. Think about it precursor Being gay is great

But that has nothing to do with it. What I'm saying is in my opinion, that's the gayest position That's the gayest way to get bad. Yeah. Yeah, gade like gay sex. Yeah, it's the gayest gay sex position. I think sex Because it's gay You don't have to be all super concerned. Yeah, if two guys are not saying it's bad. I'm saying they're having sex and they're gay Yeah All right. Anyway, that's all that's all you're gonna say. Oh, you have to finish in them In me Jesus christ. Yeah, you're saving his life. I mean, hey

Yo, I'll take it You have no choice. Oh, yeah Wait, you have a choice. I mean it's life or death. I mean, that's not really a choice Not for you. I do it. I do it for you. Thanks. I really feel like it would only be weird See, here's the thing and you can't make love to him. You gotta thrash like I need to take it But you said I gotta apologize. I need a colostomy bag afterward. Oh, whoa Yeah, now you're on team thrash. All right. Yeah, I'm thrash. Yeah, you have to pound away. It's not it's not like I'm sorry. I'm gonna save you. Right. It's not love making. Yeah. Would you be able to stay like solid?

I think I didn't get through it. I didn't get through it. All right, if I had to power through power through I think if you guys locked eyes, you didn't help them. I would not help me. Don't look at me Can we do it in the dark? Do you even like? Like eye contact really? Yeah, not from Franky What Because it just makes it worse. Here's the thing too. I think here's honest my honest opinion, right? Franky would be such a good power bottom. I can tell you Here's my honest opinion, bro. I think I think the initial would be awful

And then and then like halfway through we'd be like We'd have a mutual understanding of like we just got to get through this and we're fine, you know And so it wouldn't be as bad But afterwards it'd be awesome having to like stick there. Let's not hang out ever again Wait, yeah, I'd rather die than not hang out with you ever again. I know you would Let's add another wrinkle Wait, let me ask you something. Okay You begging me to save me. Yeah, you pay me. Are you back? Wait?

He's not as he's not as connected to me. I'm financially liable. Are you are you begging me to save me? Yeah, I know you well enough now. Whoa, so who are you not banging to save you banging to save keith dude saving a lot You've never even you've met keith like three times. I'm begging keith just for the story first of all Yeah, I'm begging keith because he's related to you and you'd bang my brother You have a brother Mike You'd bang Mike to save him. I'd bang Mike. Yeah, so I'm just returning the fave Who like I'm trying to think of someone I wouldn't bang to save their life nick

Yeah boss No, yo, I'd fuck boss to save it now because I feel like boss would have to fuck me. He's such a powerhouse He is a powerhouse I don't know. I'd fuck Pete just to fuck Pete. I Kid me first of all first of all that's your first of all. I hope I'm doing the fucking on Pete Yeah, because if Pete's fucking me, we're gonna have some trouble. We are gonna be in trouble. Oh, yeah And by trouble we're gonna mean surgery. Yeah, okay. There's that colostomy bag. We were talking about. Yeah, please keep that thing away Lock that up throw away the key. All right

Okay, just like Pete. Do me a favor Just ask you if Pete's gonna have sex with you, then we'll save your lives But that's not how this is gonna go. No, no, this both ends in death. I'll be worse off Do you want to suffer or go up quickly is the real question? Oh, yeah, like sign a waiver before you fuck that guy. I feel like You're not lying. Oh my god Who the fuck started it was you wasn't it? I don't know Jesus Christ you

What I said, I beg you to save you. This is how you repay me I don't know about that. Honestly, if it's to save a friend's life I'll do it. I just wish more such. Well, let me rephrase I knew where that was going. That's why I was waiting. What were you gonna say? I just wish more. I just wish like those situations actually happened in real life No, I don't Yeah, that's literally like a form of Yeah, right. Yeah, sexual assault. Yeah, that's why I put the I put the brakes on. Yeah, I'm glad you put it. Yeah, that's great

wait, but um How you feeling? I'm so sorry. This is the most I could go. I could episode. I don't I've ever done in my life. Is that fucking bugs for the bug? Just threw me off. That bug really threw it off at the beginning. It was rough Jesus missionary eye contact, baby. I can't have this. Would you fuck that bug to save its life? First of all, I'm not doing anything It's weird that bugs. Fuck Yo, I do bug. Yes, they fuck. Yeah, they do. I gotta see cockroach dick Oh, it's disgusting. They have dicks huge ones. No, they don't. Yeah bigger than mine

Props the pound for pound way bigger. Oh, well, yeah Why do all other species pound for pound have big-ass dicks huge dicks? I gotta incognito this shit because you know, if you look it up pound for pound dicks They're really at the bottom You probably do it our dicks are tiny. Did we ever find out if birds have penises? I don't know. Oh my I need to see this cockroach dick. Give me it now Yeah, I'm telling you see that for pounds of power. It's almost as big as itself cockroach That cockroach hammer, dude, dude, that ratio is like one to two. Yeah, that's huge. That's crazy. That's a huge cock

That's a half body hammer. Cock. Cock on that cockroach. Dude, he could hurt somebody with that And look at the thing. Eek, a penis Yo, that's insane. Can you look up if a bird has a penis? Bird penis What are we talking about this? I don't think I've ever made this show. Oh, hold on Unlike mammals, this is from live science Animal sex how birds do it Unlike mammals most male birds don't have penises instead. Both male and female birds have what is known as a cloaca cloaca is an internal chamber that ends in an opening and through its opening a bird's sex organs testes and ovaries

Discharge sperm or eggs Oh, they don't even fuck. They just spray. They just jizz on each other It's just like they're they skunk each other. What other animal dicks do we want to see wait birds only spray g I thought they had did literally open their openings to each other. That's kind of romantic. Wow That's disgusting. I just want to like jizz into each other. Damn. That's dope. That's why honestly No, sex is sick. This this this chicken is looking at the world. Oh, but he's mounting. Yeah, they mount. Oh, they mount And by the way, look what they name it kog kog

Yeah, I don't know why it makes you like humans pound for pound probably have like the smallest dicks What other animal dicks do we want to see? I want to see a lion's dick. No, didn't we try to look that out? We tried that We did Why are we giggling animal dicks? And what was that site live animal sex? Is that even legal? Is the fucking FBI gonna come to the door? It was live science. Yeah, we're gonna get flagged for this Are we looking at any other ones or no, I'm afraid now that cockroach had a cock on last call for for animal dicks Uh, hold on one more. Uh, panda panda. Oh pandas panda. I don't know if it's like black and white

Maybe that's very racist All right, I got a nice pair of panda balls here No, let me see that panda's balls, dude Damn, that panda's got some weird The penis is in there too. Wait, hold on. I need to see this small dick. Yeah, they have little cocks. Let me see. I feel bad Wait, no wonder the going extinct What is that That's the that's the dick looks like a nipple. Yeah, it looks like a like a map

Apparently that's a close-up stock photo of a panda penis. That looks like a really like a far away Is that a hyena? Dude, you know hyenas give birth through their dicks. Hold on. What? Yeah, you never heard about this A lot of that's fucking great. Let me see That that's that Frankie would be positioned for you to come see me right out of my head It looks like google earth shot of a mountain Yeah I saw this on animal planet once hyenas like the moon from males take no part in the raising of young's giving birth is

Difficult for female hyenas as the females give birth through their it's not a dick, but it's a narrow clitoris And spotted hyena cubs are largest a carnivorian young relative um Cubs attack each other shortly after birth a lot of like the Females don't make it through because in order to give birth they have to like rip their shit apart. Oh Jesus. Where we going here? Yo, this is parkas out of this world

Oh my god, you're welcome. You know what? Let's get to the patreon questions before we do anything. Okay. Yeah Our first question comes from edgar. He says in your opinion, how old is too old to be a virgin? 21 I would say I don't think anyone was expecting that. I would say 40 I Was gonna say like 28 wow If you haven't banged by 21

Wait, is this is this from a dude or a girl dude? Yeah, this is a girl named edgar. I feel like girls. I understand more would kind of explain girls All right, I was going to mega Really? All right. I would say 40. I think 40 is like people wait people sometimes people wait gross 21 I would say 28. Okay I would say most people lose it by 28 because I just feel like if you're going if you're going into like college You got to like have

Some kind of fucking practice for your penis Yeah, but I get when people don't it doesn't happen for them in college if they're like very into their major or there Or whatever and just like after the fact and then at like at that point you're like, well, I'm 21 now I'm a virgin and I've been I've been living without it. So I'm kind of coasting whatever But by the age 28, you kind of I mean, I think that's the age that if you're ever going to do it It would be before then otherwise. You're just not going to do it That's like the point of no return. I think 28 is the point of no return. Yeah, how old's edgar do you know? I don't know edgar if your virgin's cool. Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. No, I don't care

It's really not a big deal. Yeah, if you're waiting hanging out wait The real answer is like it doesn't matter. Yeah, I think 28 is the end all be all I think you're asking this question So we give you an answer. So we give you an age. We'll give you one, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, I don't give a shit um Here we go I think number of sexual partners Could be like overrated too. Oh, I don't give a fuck like who cares. I don't care, you know matter

Quantity over quality. I mean quality over quality. No, you're oh, yeah, instead of backwards I was like this guy fucks No, you're right Next question comes from John If you could have sex with as many women as you wanted celebrities and all for a year But after that you couldn't have sex for the rest of your life. Would you do it? No, yeah, no way you have one year of constant bangs. Yeah constant banks because I could still get bloge's bloge's

So you just get sucked for the rest of your life. Yeah, I could fuck I could fuck the pinnacle of whatever I want And then just get no just get ahead for this one. It doesn't mean you will no No, I'm under the assumption that you have some power that you yeah, I could pick whoever I want for a year Yeah, I say no, but now you think 365 of the hottest women in the world and you get to pick First of all, I've I've gone this long not doing it. Now. I'm all right I don't know Yo, but find someone who's gonna blow you for no, no, no We're young you have like another two and a half times our life left right right, but you gotta think of it like this, right?

You You're putting together a resume So I could take that into the next part of my life Like if I'm going around how it was just dicking down all these fucking girls Yeah, but you know what I'm saying? I'm getting verified on instagram. I'm blowing up people are gonna know who I am It's gonna open business opportunities. I'm taking it. I don't know about that. I don't know about that either I'm saying no, I would miss it. I'm more like, you know, bobby bonilla how he gets like a million dollars for like 20 years

Like I like the the yeah, that's nice. You know what I mean? The longevity of it. Yeah, I'm with you I'll take in the quality over quantity also You could suck because over the life over the span of your lifetime The quantity you're gonna have more you're gonna have sex more than 365 times the rest of your life. Yeah But do you want the quality or the quantity? I'm sticking with What I stick with bitch. I'm fucking I'm fucking

Pope Right as I said quantity it doesn't matter how many people you sleep with Sarah Boyer if there was a zombie apocalypse, which of your boys would be the first to die and And who would survive the longest? I think we touched on this at one point I think we kind of briefly did did we I would die first out of us three. Yeah, because I have like asthma and diabetes Yeah, you're so dead. Yeah My body's falling apart too. So I'm not far behind you. Yeah I think Joey will Joey will survive just because of the fact that he's in way better health than us. Yeah, like I would like

I would try to just have one cool moment where like they're all coming through the door and I'm just holding it like just go Go you hold you hold or that? Yeah, hold or that shit You guys just go don't worry about it. I'll find them off and then just die. I'll find a way And yeah, I'll be dead soon. Dude, that'd be awesome though a zombie apocalypse. No, we're not Why not? Have you you've never seen walking dead, right? Show your family's gonna die First of all, if you the walking dead, you've never seen walking dead. You know what I've seen walking dead. No one running Oh, they run. Oh, they fucking run

They might not they run they run trust me a lot of running actually Rick Gribes can run his ass off first four seasons of that show watch it and tell me no the zombies They move very slowly doesn't fucking matter when they can move slow, but when there's 400 of them They're moving herds, bro. Yeah, dude a light jog. I'm out Yeah, but what about when you need to stop and they don't I like jog Good light jog. Yeah, that's what they say Michael Myers

Just a light jog from my or Jason Voorhees. He had a light jog from them. They're gonna pop right up Yeah, that's they're not zombies zombies will pop up all You could be running is a zombie. Yeah, and you could be running towards more zombies. You don't know. Yeah You don't have gps. What if you get a zombie zombies? Well, then you die. Well, then there you go We'll get to a high point and get a fucking gun Oh, I'm taking them out. There's more after them. Yeah You know what he would he would live you know, he might die first due to the ignorance Yeah, I'm just gonna light jog from these fucking zombies and then he needs a twinkie and he's fucking dead

He's a twinkie needs a twinkie Oh needs a twinkie like twinkies are like the only thing that'll survive the zombie apocalypse. They say Because they they're that disgusting. Yeah, they're that there's no expiration date on. Yeah, twinkies never saw zombie land Yeah, there's a guy that collects no way. Hold up. There's a guy that collects twinkies There's no expiration date. No, so there you can eat them and they're actually good forever. Yeah. Yeah People put that in their body. How do they sell that? I mean, they don't in a store. I mean if passes FDA regulations. Yeah, I thought Because it's edible that's insane

It's money Twinkies are fired by the way. Yeah, it's really good. I haven't had one and like maybe like a decade No, I haven't either but twinkies are made. See like twinkies is like something that we should come in one But there's two in there. Two twinkies are great. No, there's one. No, there's two. There's two. You're thinking of hostess No, I'm not I don't know what you're thinking of but there's two twinkies No, wait. No, there's one you're thinking of devil dogs and like yodels those two Maybe the small maybe there are different sizes, but I'm talking about the fucking twinkies coming one

He's right. He's right. I forgot. No, they don't. Yes. They do. No, they don't Maybe they come in both packages. They don't frankie's a liar. He doesn't know anything twinkie. I want a twinkie Yeah, you could eat a twinkie. You could eat with just one. What was that little package twinkie Yeah, but like in the store they lose pack them Yeah, yeah, they're doubled. Thank you. Yeah, I fucking know what I'm talking about, dude Nope Those are the ones you get at the deli that are like fake It says twinkies. They're twinkies. If you open a box, it says hostess twinkies

Fuck that I know you're talking about wholesale Yeah, wholesale. I got you. Bjs. Bjs. Costco. Costco's Yo, they have twinkies ice cream. Remember those grandma's like pies or whatever? What? They were like cream pies. No like oatmeal cookie cream pies. They were mad good. No, um, all right last question here from alex Uh, would you rather swap bodies or swap lives? Why? Me and you? No, I I was like, you want diabetes?

God, I'll give you every fucking issue I have. What do you want? You want diabetes? Yeah, you want 40 extra pounds of the diabetes? No, but uh, I was I was gonna say, um I would say anyone in the world Would you rather switch lot? Uh, what was it bodies or lives? Lives, why would you want to switch? No, I would switch. I would switch lives If I could switch lives with the rock and he can keep his fucking body Yeah, give me that money and that lifestyle. Imagine he was the biggest movie star in the world

Can you imagine this guy right here was the Frank Alvarez in skyscraper. What's up guys? Yeah, exactly. I yeah, give me the life Yeah, life because you could be ugly And thrash if you if you're living a life. You look at Ron Jeremy. Yeah, dude. Look at, um The fuck is oh god, like even like jz. Yeah Perfect example not an attractive man. Jay. He's not a good look. Who's the ugly guy? He's in all the m saline movies Uh, uh, David Spade. No, David Spade. You're gonna go with Rob Schneider. Not Rob Schneider

Steve Buscemi, Steve Buscemi, but Buscemi fucks. Hell yeah, he fucks Not a good looking guy. Ugly as hell. Ugly as all fuck. Fun fact. He used to be a firefighter fdny. Yeah, nice He went down and helped out on 9-11 sweet But yeah, give me the give me the life because the if the life includes the money, right? I guess it said life. So I'm taking it. Yeah, I'm taking that. I'm gonna agree All right. Well, I guess we could wrap this up now. Uh, Danny, where can they find you? I don't even know at this point Yeah, this is this is a mess

Add Danny LaPriori on instagram and twitter At uh, falver is 8085 twitter instagram and twitch I also uh co-host a wrestling podcast called the squared circle jerks You can find it on itunes and soundcloud and on twitter at scj pod um God what a mess this was. I know what a mess Uh, guys, you can find me on twitter at Joe Sanagato and go follow the show Um at the baseman yard on twitter as well for updates and shit

Uh, also my twitch is twitch.tv slash jo sanagato. I go live usually on mondays and wednesdays Eh, but that is all Thanks for listening