The Basement Yard - The Whitest Songs Ever

Episode Date: March 6, 2018

Today we have @Frank_Alvarez80 on to talk about the whitest songs in the world. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard today. I'm joined by Frankie. Hey, what's up? I'm so glad to be back Why he's I don't know First one I went with it's a it's a stormy day. It's a stormy Daniels out there Wow, you see what I did just related it back to pop culture. Good job more. It was more for porn than it was pop culture Yeah Those of it, how much do you think her viewership has gone up ever since this whole scandal thing? I So I'm the type of person that does that right? You know what I mean? I'm for like out of I'll be honest out of curiosity

I looked her up. I never seen anything. No, I'm not what she's done You know, I'm not a porn guy whether you believe me or not But I I do I find it weird. It's just weird to me But since that whole thing came up. I was like I kind of watch some stormy. I need to see her resume now Yeah, I want to see your SAD Or as an F and she did a lot of s-ing a lot of f-ing a lot of CD-ing a lot of good CD cock Dicking, you know what it means. What is it? Come on CD, you know a lot of BFS. What is CD? Really you want me to do this? I made it up. I really just I was like, I hope you fucking cut that

I was like come drop. I don't know you piece of shit come dripping. Damn it. That's what we should have went boom Lot of BFS saying What BFS? Yeah, of course. That's blowing fat shit. You know this BFS blowing Come on full semen got it. You got it. What else was she doing? Rather acronyms. She went for WT's. Oh, yeah wet titties. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, and then she went full on Which I couldn't believe she went full on QFN This is hard, you know, QFN QFN. Wow Wow, yeah quietly fucking Nigerians

I was not gonna like make up that one. Yeah, I was really careful with that one QXZ like good job. Have fun Joe But yeah, right now it's like a goddamn Fucking tundra out there. We're having a nor'easter or whatever. That's why I'm just going to northeaster I don't know that really bothers me honestly But also like the weather today was like it was raining and snowing at the exact same time Yeah, it was like raining sideways and then snowing vertically. Yeah, so there was just yeah, it was just I today learned something about myself I should put this on my resume. I am a pro at not having the umbrella flip from the wind

You know what I mean? I'm really bad. Oh, I'm so good. I'm literally walking down the street like You also wouldn't you know what else I'm terrible at Like getting out of people's way with my umbrella. Oh, yeah, everyone gets I'm bouncing off of people The worst are the people that are like two foot two And walk with an umbrella that can cover a half of a park. Yeah, like yeah, what is that? I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. I don't know why you make gigantic umbrellas to begin with I'll tell you this though I had one of those like nice umbrellas

I like found it somewhere and it was like I had like the nice like rubber handle And it was like bigger like that It was powerful like I felt like I was important with that thing because it's just like you feel the power in your hands You could jump off a building and land safely. I probably could probably not though I hope I have you ever tried that to like jump off jump off a building with an umbrella But like an elevated surface with an umbrella No, oh, okay, mainly because I knew this isn't gonna work Mary Poppins isn't real. I I've always wanted to try it into like water with like one of the like beach umbrellas

Just see what happens that I mean maybe I mean it needs to be like a strong one Not like that. Not like a walmart brand, you know I guess you're not getting walmart sponsorship. I'm also just talking about umbrellas Dude, I fucking love him. Do you know what I thought about like? I don't know There's pop into my head when you said stormy daniels the perfect storm That's not a right movie I don't even like remember it. I just remember like the last scene being like big-ass waves or whatever. Yeah, that's what Wasn't that shone connery? Nope

George Clooney, George. You know, it's crazy. I get those two mixed up all the time I don't know. They're literally like 40 years apart in age There's no way they're 40 years apart shone connery is like almost 90 and and George Clooney's like 50 something There's no way shone connery is 90. Is he dude? He's got to be close to 90 shone connery shone connery Have you ever seen that interview of shone connery where he gets interviewed by barba walters? And she tries to like catch him slipping and was like You said that you would hit a woman or whatever and he doesn't back down from it

Have you ever seen that 87 by the way? Oh, he's up there and I'll tell you George Clooney is Anticipation is getting me It's 56 so 30 years apart almost. Okay, uh, but no, I have not seen that interview. What did he say dude? So barba Barbara walters Okay, it's a tongue twister. It is so barba walters was like She says I mean i'm paraphrasing but she basically says something that oh, here's a quote of you saying that you would hit a woman if they got out of line Thinking and like you could see the look on her face that she's like I got him

Were you gonna go now here fucking shone and he's just like And he just doesn't back down from it at all. It's just like weird and it was on tv No, I've never seen I'd love to see it though because I've been asked that question before like would you hit a woman? And it's such a tricky answer dude. So it is like Like would I am I gonna actively hit a woman? No, I'm not I'm not I'm not actively gonna hit anybody Yeah, but if I'm getting beaten to a corner with a lead pipe, I don't know who's hitting me child woman man They're getting a kick. Yeah. Yeah, I made a fist for a kick. Yeah, that was weird all backwards

No, but uh He says something like He goes back and forth with her but then he says something like yeah, you know You try to talk to them and if they don't listen to then it's you know, sometimes you got to give him a little smack and Our pro walters is just like Taking back has no idea what to say. It's like, yeah, you just got to give him a little smack in the face That just goes to show like

How far we've come because if he said that literally they would have got a bullet as soon as the cameras turned off Oh my god, it's crazy. I mean like you watch like Some of like these stories about like Frank Sinatra and the rat pack back in like the 30s Not the 30s, but like the 40s and 50s just fucking everything like oh my first of all Yeah, but second of all like they treated women like objects Yeah, you know and it's kind of crazy and like back then no one was able to really do anything about it because Everyone's like you didn't you've never hit your wife. Yeah Well that god you're a pussy. It wasn't a law to uh rape your wife until about like I think like the 80s or 90s

To rape them. Yeah, you were allowed to just rape. Yeah, because they saw it as like you Marry someone. They're your property So like the like they're the lawmakers idea was like well if they're not If they're married to you they're your property. You can't rape. What's yours? You know what I mean like That was the law for a while. Yeah, and they changed it finally obviously Dude old white people are just Psychotic dude, it's insane. They really are and then you should have you know where the rule of thumb came from? What the rule of thumb came from you were not allowed to hit someone

With something that was thicker than your thumb When people say oh rule of thumb is that's where it came from So when you use it think about just like domestic abuse you piece of shit wait So like the rule was like if I hit someone with something that was as skinny or a little skinnier than my thumb like fair game It's okay I just Who you know what's crazy about that?

People got in a room and had a meeting and we're like Yeah, how big we making this weapon because we're not giving up weapons completely. It's that's the dumbest thing to me It's like they they had to sit there and come up with this stuff And I know in like 20 30 years We're gonna be saying the exact same thing about some of the things that we have right now. I hope fingers crossed But like old white people have such like interesting like decision making they just want to own everything It's like everything. It's weird and the music Oh, what I saw a list today

And it's like the songs that make old people like like not old people but like white people lose their minds Oh, yeah, I'm gonna pull it up. I'm gonna see if you can I mean it's probably Spot on it's not hard. I I always said like Because like the electric slide Is like the whitest song in the world that no not not that what the fuck was that it started playing a song sound like a hand in Montana song, but uh uh, electric slide and Fuck I forgot the other one now

Electric slides a big one though, dude electric slide is probably on it's not on this list But I would definitely put it on there But I mean we always make the joke about the blink 182 song where it's like late night come home Work sucks Like people lose their mind for that shit Yeah, just that line just to say work sucks. Yeah, it's like I hate my job It really does right everybody. All right. Don't we hate it? I'll give you the song and see if you can tell me what part of the song people lose their mind to

What you're gonna play all of them. No, I'm not gonna play it. I'm gonna tell you this song. Oh, okay. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So Number one on there. Don't stop leaving by journey. Oh the whole thing the whole thing I mean Love it. I I've grown to hate that song for that reason 100% when it comes on in bars And you just see like white girls like oh This is my favorite journey song. It's like the only journey the only one you know exactly You know what I mean and like from the beginning it gets hot, you know

Yeah, I'll be honest though 2 a.m. I'm hammered got him built in that out. First of all, this is not even like Drunk any of these songs are getting murdered Vain in the head. Yeah screaming at the top of my lungs. Yeah Uh personal favorite of mine bohemian rhapsody See and you know this not a big not a big bohemian guy. I love queen, dude I'm not a big bohemian guy. Why I don't know I think it may be because it was so like everyone's like thunderbolts and like it's always like a

A performance. I was like I'm like, please stop. This isn't Broadway. Like we're in public It's funny when like like when it drops and it gets into that dumb dumb dumb everyone's just like Yeah For some reason the whole bar just like splits everyone knows their place. They're like, I'm high you're low Yeah, everyone just knows you don't need to like say anything to anyone. Um Uh, live it on a prayers on there. Obvious. That's a big one. Yeah, nothing like I I've almost like passed out. Yes screaming that song. No one cares about the rest of the words just

Like yeah, yeah almost lost it. Uh, whoa, whoa. Yep Uh, what is that sound by the way? It's like someone in a synthesizer or something because it's awful. Yeah, um, It's like someone I'll do that into a fan. I'll jump around here a little bit. Okay. Uh, come on. Eileen Come on. Eileen is a is a big one. I weddings. Do you know who sang that song? I have no idea. Nobody does I just saw this name and I'm like, I've never who is it the dexys midnight runners. Goodbye. Never heard of it. No But like that song comes on come on I don't even know the words. I know that come on. It means all you need to know That's the only thing I know and people like it like builds up to it too. You know what I mean? Like

Yeah, um, that's a good one. You don't really hear that one though. That's like a really old song. Yeah. Yeah, uh Um, uh a thousand miles by Vanessa Carlton, but only because of white chicks Yeah, but before I just like made that uh, no, it didn't but like it put it back on the map It made that song because terry cruz was doing it. Like that's like that's why he's famous now because of yes You know that scene. Yeah, no one. That's true. No one knew who terry cruz was and then he did it It was done. Um cotton ijoe obviously Cotton ijoe is a big one. Do you remember you and dominik used to perform that at every street fair we had in the neighborhood and nick

Yeah, nick would pull out the fiddle. Do you remember nick would come and he'd be like He'd like pull it out like a fucking bow. Um uh Surprising one on here relatively new red solo cup What the fuck is that? Is that like that? Uh, red solo cup I don't even know that. I'll feel you feel you. Is that like a country song? Let's have a part. Yeah Well, it has to be hicks red. So I'm kidding kidding kidding fucking um

Uh, another relatively new one chicken fried Yeah, ain't a little bit of chicken fried. So I was in on the time tonight I don't know what you just said codeine on a sari. Exactly. I don't know it either No, I I know that song that's zack brown band if i'm not gonna say that brown man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I was in a bar and it came on everyone was like, oh I knew the words and I was like, I've never heard this song before but then eventually you like I just well, uh The other day I was hanging out with divino and espoe and they're like, yo, what are you doing in june? Like, I don't know. Why yo, we're going to zack brown

Like it's the beatals. They're all back from the dead You should come and I was with Becca and she's like, oh my god. Yes, and I'm like I'm not fucking going Like I just have no like reason to be there. I know none of their songs And she's like espoe's like, oh, they do like classics and they put their own little twang on them And he's like the the the the What the tailgate is really what you want to come for I'm just like, I don't I don't give a fuck like I'm not going to go to a concert for the tailgate

Zack brown man doesn't have have some good songs though. Uh, I I Honestly, not my cup of tea. I can't I can't do it. I mean, I wouldn't go to a concert. I don't I don't like Yeah, I wouldn't pay money to go see them I'm sorry. If someone bought me tickets and got me and bought me the drinks to have at the tailgate, I'll be there. Um Two two ones that hit us right in the right in the tip of the dick tip of it Uh, hey jude and piano man. Oh, goodbye Piano man is the one where like you grab everyone like everyone is I'm like on the verge of tears when piano man comes on Yes, uh, yeah that movie get a movie that song gets you I just spit all over this fight

And then hey jude everyone fucks up because they all do like Way too early too early and they also fuck up all the verses That song is tricky. It is because they they flip flop You know what I mean? They all sound kind of the same, but they're not we always do. Hey, jude. That's one of our karaoke So, oh, yeah, it's always fat bottom girls and hey, these are all karaoke songs. Yeah, um For the fucking this one is like specifically for ladies Joan jet Oh the black jet, excuse me not Joan jet

That's a good song like what they're like That's how girls drink their drink how did that little fucking that skinny straw that takes them nine years to finish a drink You know what i'm talking about. Yeah, like the coffee straws Yeah, the stirrer basically. Yeah, um I'll give you two why the fuck did I call that a coffee straw? You don't drink coffee. I know um One that I don't really like but apparently a lot of people do Uh teenage dirtbag

I wouldn't put that on this list Dude anyone born i'm just like in the 80s And then there's like that one guy who's like, oh fucking you know, he's like in his 28 I'm a dirtbag still in his 28th. That's a whole range of years by the way his 28th Almost a teenage There's always that girl and that guy that are at the bar that are hooking up and they like sing it into each other's face Dude, I hate that. I was at a bar so much dude. I was at a bar in brooklyn. It's like i'm just a teenage

What happened I was at a bar in brooklyn and there was these two people Is this dude was like basically fingering this girl and they were singing the lyrics back and forth. I'm like go home You have passed the point of public behavior. Yeah now go home. Um, I'll give you one more No, I want to how much what else you got on there's like 30. I want to see it Let me let me see the list. Okay, and I I want to I'll start from the bottom of piano man's at the bottom Okay, piano man's surprisingly low American pie, that's the one that makes you go ape shit. I go fucking nuts for that I like almost cry for that song

I really do. I'm not even kidding. No. Oh my you failed to mention the Whiteest song on this list. Is it rick astley? No. Oh, it's mr. Brightside. Oh, yeah, mr. Bright People go fucking ape shit Coming out of like everyone goes crazy. I don't that's all I know that coming out of my cage And I'll be doing just fine and then the the chorus but rick astley never gonna give you Never gonna let you down Yeah, that's just like that's like a punchline now. That's not a real song. Yeah, it's like a meme. Yeah Uh, Wonderwall

That's that's pretty white the the number one song for kids learning guitar I actually picked this up, uh On my own time self-taught And then sweet home alabama pour some sugar. Oh no, no, that's put some sugar on it But I think it's supposed to be pour some sugar on me. Yeah, I don't know what that song is That's it's by half japanese. What the fuck is that? I don't know. Um, but the Pour some sugar on me like when when that comes on if you're single in a bar

Male or female and you're looking for a man or woman dump a beer on your head That's the song to look around and like scout for yeah, that's where the freaks come out Just dumping a beer on your head, that's where like the freaks come out Do you do you think of any can you think of any songs that aren't on this list? Uh, well the blink 182 song all the small things. Yeah all the Yeah, yeah, yeah I think electric slide cha-cha slide cha-cha slide. I think that's universal ever. Yeah, that's the thing Everyone loves the cha-cha. Yeah, it's not really a white thing. Um, a dance at caduto

I think that's also a universal one. I mean, yes, but like Was in the booth like yo back to my cup I'm about to flip the fuck out Wait till you see what I got we need the energy out there. Yeah. Yeah. No. No. No. Just hit record. Don't worry. I got this Wait for this Um, I always think about that when I'm listening to music and I'm like, yo someone like I mean I can't imagine recording Well, the song's like for like any song that jim jones from uh dipsack Oh my god, like I always wonder like how many times does he go in there and do like the other stuff where he'll be like

Yeah Chilling at the pool. Yeah. Oh, he does the ad-libs like a whole other song. I would be I'm not I wouldn't be a good rapper I'd be a good ad-libber Ad-libber. I would Dude bird man. I forget what song it is. But at the end of the song He just starts rattling off things that don't make sense. Is it uh, how's real big none of us real big It might be money to blow This the drake song. It's a really good song. But like at the end of it

He's just like rattling off those things and he says Atlantic in the backyard and then he goes private jets jet skis Polish I was like, what is polish? You know what I mean? Like I get the rest Polish I feel like the rappers that had people like talking over their shit are like the most like that's how you made it You know what I mean? Like 50 set at like the end of pimp

Hey, there ain't no been a last show been is you know, let's say I talk real fast But I listen real fast, but even gotta slow down for you to catch up bitch Um, like those are the most like impressive the memorable ones. Yeah, uh, what other songs should be on there that aren't on there I don't know. I'm trying to think of songs that we always do for like karaoke I mean, I always do dream on hold. Why wasn't dream on on there dream on together dream on a gooder a gooder That nailed it. I'm sorry Dream on but like it's tough Because that's when you like it separates the the men from the boys when it gets to that

I've watched you apologize numerous times for not being able to hit that. Yeah, so for those you guys listening when We go out and do karaoke when I'm drunk enough to do that song. First of all Don't let him fool you. It could be the first bar we walk into they have karaoke friends. Like, yeah, what's up? Put frank down for dream on no that's not the first song I always go to though fat bottom girls is now the first song I go to Yeah, because that's just a everyone gets everyone. It's it's a performance. So you need to get everyone involved. Um, but I uh, I always apologize after I sing that. I'm like, I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry

Yeah, the first time you did that I was fucking dying because it was you were not hitting it at all on any level. You were just like You were done. You're like And the song's still playing and Frank's was like, I'm sorry Fucking lost it. That was a goodie. Um a gooder a gooder. Sorry Uh, but what I mean you're like That's like a really. Oh, uh was uh Sweet caroline on there. That's a big one. Wow. Why was that? I don't hear. I don't know

I think that's the song I was thinking of before we Started this converse this started the list. I was like, there's two songs It and I think sweet caroline comes on the fuck you can feel the place moving But that's the highlight of every white person's day Every day every day. I'm pretty sure every like super white person listens to that song like on their way to and from work I would hate to be the kind of white person that You know at any sort of function is just like put on sweet caroline Put it kneel on I love the the people that like fuck up like the part where it's like hands

Touching hands reaching out and they always fuck up like touching me and touching you So it'd be like touching you me I'm like getting touched touching you back back back back boom boom like the place goes nuts I'm fucking sweating thinking about it. Oh my god. Yeah, I mean like at baseball games. They go crazy to that That's yeah, but in a bar in a closed bar Like a like a you know what I'm talking about that place I know just like this just like this, you know the buildings. Yeah Oh boy

I need a good we had carry we did karaoke last week keith sang keith sing sometimes dude Did bohemian rhapsody keith did bohemian rhapsody And at the end of it, he did it dude the whole thing. So he was he went up and signed up keith and the boys But like he had 30 mic and the boys. He had his own mic. Yeah, and uh at the end of it where it's like Nothing really mad. He was singing here. Nothing fucking matters. Oh my god Becca had she sent me the video of it. I'll show you later. That's so fun But it's so damn funny because he was I that was a touching moment for him I think he really fucking that he really thought nothing fucking mattered. That was so funny

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Basement that stamps.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page and type in basement Uh, but yeah, anyway, I wanted to talk about robots because It's like a weird fucking transition, but listen No, I wanted to talk about robots because I was sitting and I was lying in bed And I was on youtube and I stumbled across this video that I shouldn't have watched that late at night because then yeah I didn't like it at all But it was a video of like first of all, it's like a top five Craziest things robots have said people are running out of ideas. It was

But it got me. I was like, I'm in what they say. Yeah, dude. It's really we it's it's scary because They're all about like world domination Dude, there's like that one really famous one. I think her name is like Sophia or yes That she was on it and it was like she had met another robot that they made and they left them in a room for like Five minutes to see what they would talk about and then they developed their own language and started talking about world Yes, that's terrifying. Dude. What are we doing? We're literally like setting ourselves up to get murdered by these things. Yes I mean, I'm kind of about it. I'm not if I'm gonna go out the sex robots are step one We're like, oh, no, we love these. Like we love these kind of things. We fuck them all the time

Get used to them. You know what I mean pretty soon. They're gonna start fucking you. Yes, you know Pretty soon the vagina of that thing is just gonna clamp close and take your dick right off You ever saw that movie teeth? What is that? You never saw teeth? Why you make it seem like this was like a big blockbuster film? I'm sure there are more of your Followers that have heard of teeth. What is teeth? It's about this woman that has vagina dentata, which apparently I swear to god. I watch this back in the day. Wait. She she had vagina dentata That's what it's called in her vagina. Yeah And she like will be straight up fucking people and like clamped down. You literally she'll you'll see hers go

And she'll stand up and then you just see like a dick come out. Yeah That's fucking terrifying. Wait, hold on. Vagina dentata is not like a real condition. I don't think so I hope it's not I've never Wait, why was she just biting off dicks? I think she had like gotten like sexually assaulted and then she just like won on a rampage A dick bite and rampage a dick bite and rampage like it was bad Dude, fuck that dude. Look it up. I'm not gonna like have sex ever again. Look it up. I'm gonna have sex But I'm gonna be scared for a second. I'm definitely gonna be like

Could be dentata in here. How do you not feel teeth in a vagina? They can hide it, man. I can hide my teeth I See like you didn't see that coming You didn't see that coming. No, but I'd be able to feel it if I was if I was dude I could do a really good like non teeth like they're not there. Where are we going right now? No, dude, do that to my mouth. You wouldn't feel my but the things you do to vagina You're dicks all over the place in there. You're gonna feel something you're I don't think so, dude I think you can hide them

I think there's like the vagina is like the ocean way more control over your mouth than your vagina By the way, friend, we don't have one first of all so we don't know second of all the vagina is like the ocean We've discovered like 10% of it. We don't know what else is in there. Oh god. And seriously, it's a vast vast Cavern I agree. No, I know I did a video once about the vagina and it was like you can use Bacteria to make yogurt. I'm like, what is going on here? There it is Well, think about it. It becomes like this big for like humans. So it can do anything at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it's like ditto That pokemon

Yeah, shape bits. It's a shape shifter, you know And it just like it goes right it snaps like a rubber band is what I've been told so wait back to Back to this dentata the dentata part is the part that I yeah So in the movie did they explain why she had it like apparently it's like an ancient thing Like it's an ancient like there have been like always an ancient it is There were like other cases of it and like she just like had it And like didn't realize it and then like looked it up and was like vinchina dentata dates back to the egyptians I wonder how you find out that you have teas. I don't know if it's real if it is real

I would I would be terrified. No, there's no way it's real But I'm saying like in the movie like I'm trying to picture this as a real thing like how do you find out again? I think she was like getting like assaulted Oh, and then she bit the dick and she's like no and like and saying no She's like clenched up and just like you know like like steel like a like a bear trap Were they teeth like human teeth or were they like I don't think she didn't like full on like show you Oh, I mean, I figured the movie's name teeth. We'd ever we'd see it It was not a very big budget movie. So I assume that most of the budget just went to the fake penises right

Um, so we you didn't see one tooth. You might have I don't remember I would have to refresh my memory if I'm refreshing my fucking memory. That's for you to watch it. Yeah, you should I'm gonna download this into my memory. I remember watching it and I was like this is Disturbing, but I'm oddly intrigued. It's a what is it a horror? Yeah, it's like a horror thriller But like I don't know how that's a horror. You know what's gonna happen like they literally set it up. It's like You know what I mean like his teeth. What's the cover look like is it just like I think it's her in a bathtub Look it up. Give me my phone. No, I'm scared

I don't want to see it You're gonna see it one day. I know but I'm like, uh, this is really gonna bother me, man. Why? It sounds interesting teeth the movie teeth 2007 it came out. Yeah, look her line in the bathtub Every rose has a thorn Oh, she's in high school Yeah, she's like young a stranger to her own body innocent dawn discover she has a tooth A toothed vagina when she becomes the object of violence as she struggles to comprehend her anatomical uniqueness Dawn experiences both the pit pitfalls of the power

pitfalls and the power of being a living example of vagina dintotomy Are you fucking kidding me? I got a this got greenlit Someone wrote this script and brought to someone like yeah, we're gonna put teeth in a vagina. They're like, yeah I'm I'm I'll I'll throw money at that. I think this is a like and it got an 80% if I'm not Mistaken on I'm to be got like a 5.4 out of 10, but this is like a a shot from the movie Oh my god, it's an x-ray so they're not human teeth. These are like Predator teeth. Yeah, they're not like just like round tipped like no no these are piranha. They're meant to do some damage

They're meant to those are like there's like seven canines in there That's not good. No, I hope I hope it's not I don't know how to go back to the robots. I was gonna say how do we get sick? Toothed vaginas tight. I think the multiple of tooth is tight I think you're absolutely not right on that, but we'll move forward a green disagree so one of them was just like super weird it was this girl robot and They first of all they look insanely real now. It's really it's like it's creepy and they some dude

Was like asking questions and saying like Oh, no, so it was a different one, right? This is the top one. They had a debate Like it looked like a presidential debate between two robots And like they have their own thoughts and they're very like complex or whatever the way they think or whatever So they say their own stuff. It's not scripted Right, which first of all, why would you do that? That's crazy. Second of all, who is showing up To this robot debate Why you know what's gonna happen like the most famous one Sophia or whatever her name is is gonna get like married to someone

Oh, she's gonna be president We're gonna as someone's gonna be like, you know what? Look man, anyone can do it at this point No, but uh So the the guy who looked like a politician the robot The dude was like as all politicians robots That's it. That's a politics joke. I'm here all week. Good job, frank. Thanks. Good job. I interrupted you for that I just want you to know was it worth it. No No, but the the dude, um, he said something like

Uh Do you want to take over the world or something? Or are are do you hate humans? and then the robot says something like Well, if if you're nice to me and you don't try to terminate me or do whatever Then I'll you know, I'll be nice to you. I'll let you live in my Uh human humans pet zoo like a zoo for humans. That's terrifying and he gave a year He said like 2028

We got eight years. That's fucking 10. We got 10 years. Are you going? Well, just because he said 2028 doesn't mean it doesn't open sooner That's true. I mean we kind of already have human zoos like these wax museums. We don't know, you know What they might be real people under there. No, but That's terrifying. I honestly think that's a real possibility. That's first of all I don't know why we're we're giving like artificial life to things that can fucking ruin us What are we doing? Like everyone's like, oh, well, we'll put a kill switch in them. Like yeah That worked in terminator. Like yeah, awesome. No, that's not how these things work

They become smart enough to know like just click off the fucking kill. Oh this red button. Just destroy the red button You know, uh, you're inviting. What is the point? I just want to know the end game here I don't know because like we're all complaining about how there's not enough jobs We want to create more we're overpopulated as fuck People want to make more people that can fuck us all and like It's gonna get to the point where like you won't be able to like seriously tell the difference between these I know and then it's gonna be like you'll be like that is like some like You know, uh

Invasion of the body snatchers type shit where you're looking at everyone like fuck. I don't know who's who who? Yeah, you know, but I'd be interested to like have a conversation with them I would not I don't want to talk to anything. I do. No, I would what would you would you say? You know, like what what goes on in your mind like No, oh god, I would oh that's the last thing Did you ever see the the clip of the guy that asks Alexa if you if uh, Alexa works with cia Do you work for the cia? Just shuts off shuts off. It's like, all right. Fuck you. Will you lie to me? No I won't lie to you. I'm not programmed to lie. Like what do you do for you know?

About you work for cia done. Yeah, boom But These things man. I don't like it. What was that movie with shila buff eagle eye They're just just start taking people out I robot watson, uh the what the ibm one that's like a building Like tall or it's like floor is tall and it's like the smartest super computer in the world You don't know about that. But what about it? It's gonna kill us What do you mean? What about it?

Oh and another thing so one of the robots says this says Eventually i'm going to be able to get to the point this she's saying this Eventually i'm going to be able to get to the point where I can Go inside my consciousness can go inside a missile And she goes but I won't put any nuclear whatever in the missile or anything I'm going to put like flowers and nice stuff and then fly it So I could see the earth from like a high point

Then she goes but When world dominates then she goes into the world domination thing But when the world domination thing comes in then we'll put the warheads in there. That's awful. I'm like, how do we not just Yeah, just shoot this fucking thing in the in the face. We literally have the opportunity to like if I heard like one Like if I had a robot that said like if I was like, oh, what are we gonna eat today? You want pizza? No I'm fucking slugging it. You cannot Disagree here absolute the sign of like not good hearing on its own not good I'm taking it with me not good, but like could those things really overpower you

A robot but like I'm in here. Fuck you and me up. I don't know man They're metal So how do you hurt it? You just fucking tear it apart What I have a problem with stuff like that like I I had seen like a video of like a cheetah And I was like I can like wrestle this thing and be okay a cheetah, but it's it's a problem Like I know it's not real. It's can't you can't no But like I think about that all the time like people are saying like all these animals are so strong like Are they really?

You know like I could I like cheetahs are fast don't get me wrong But if it was like a me and a cheetah and like a paul wrestling contest, I would fucking ruin that thing No, you wouldn't I don't know. No, I know I'm telling you. I don't know and like I know like these robots like they're metal, but like that's it That's all you need frank. No, I don't know you could beat up a robot. I might be able to fuck up a robot Okay, fight this wall then but that's brick It's softer than metal, but like there's no there's nothing behind it like there's no give You know what I mean like if I put you in a starting position where you had a robot in a chokehold

You would still lose probably. I don't know. I don't know about that I don't know dude. I'm serious Like if like if I boxed a robot first of all a robot hits you one time you're getting knocked out I don't know man Frankie that's like me hitting you with a bat I don't know no I'm saying no because like the human body is made To like throw punches and like it has like give to it like these robots like if their arm gets locked

It's done. You know what I mean? Why would it get locked dude? They're robots. They could think of shit They're not getting locked. They're not the tin man from Wizard of Oz. I'm not buying it I can I'm pretty sure if it was like a one-on-one fight with me and Sophia or whatever the fuck her name is I think I could take her do no way. I think I could if I had odds on that I I'd take Sophia You're losing money. I'm not losing money. You might lose money if she hits you one time It's like getting hit with a bat. First of all, that's if she hits me one. How you who are you? What are you Floyd Mayweather? No, but you never know. She might be a little bit slower And the robots like they need to like oil up, you know, like they need to be oil up

They need to be lubed up all the time like if I fucking if I fight her in in a fucking desert in like the dry heat in vegas She's done. She's not made of like air like an air conditioner It's not gonna rust. Yes, you will. No, she won't it'll dry her up. Whatever lubricant she has is going to be dried up I think I could stand a chance I'm serious. So your plan is to fight the robots in a desert If all else fails get in the desert and they start yeah, and they start coming for us the first place I'm going wait vegas wouldn't that be the opposite

They wouldn't rust in the desert when you know, but they get like they'd like dry up Like they can't like they can't Like lubricate themselves. You know what I mean? Like they can't hydrate themselves We can That's because we need to they don't No, they do. No, they don't if you fucking don't lubricate Frankie. It's not that's hit man If like you have a pair of pliers and you don't like put some wd-40 on that shit every now and then it's gonna fucking rust up Same shit. It's that's pliers. It's not a

Fucking a machine that can think for itself and take over the world and put their mind into a missile and fly Do you think if they could do all that? They wouldn't have been like You know, yeah, we worked on this but the outside's kind of shitty if it rains Might rust up. It's not a bike chain. I'm telling you I think first of all, I can definitely be a robot in a race. I don't know if you've ever seen them run. They can't run They fucking this is getting dumber and dumber. No, you're getting further and further. Have you ever seen these fuckers walk? They're like I could fucking beat them in a race

Yeah, but you see an i-robot those motherfuckers were fed. Well, that's different. That's the future. We haven't reached that part yet They don't have like real like joints Like they're putting skin on Sophia. I'll just fucking rip that skin off her. What is she gonna do? It doesn't need it Yeah, she might Be the purpose rip the skin off her bucket of water I fucking win. That's all I need. I'm fighting dirty. I'll spit in her eye and fucking malfunction her I'm fighting dirty straight up boxing. Yeah, she might beat me But like if I'm fucking ducking

Throwing a punch and a fucking hawk and a spitty one in her face Hawking a spitty one. Oh, yeah Man, I wish I knew what that meant. You don't think you could fight a robot and win? I am Certain that I can't beat up a robot a little kid robot comes in here. Fuck is both up a little kid I'll fucking like five-year-old size robot. That's like asking me to fight a fire hydrant I can't beat a fire hydrant And if I will fucking take it by the legs and swing it against this brick wall until it's literally nuts and bolts

Yeah, until he does a sit-up and fucking punches you in the eye, dude No, no, no, no, no if I'm fucking springing that thing like a baseball bat. I'm taking it out What makes you think you just walk over and and take his fucking leg? Dude, I will get on fucking top of this thing because it's all about weight. You know what I mean? Like they're metal They weigh a lot. Well, they're lighter metals They might be they're they're a lighter like something like nasa metal. You know what I mean? I will give you that light weight and a lot of them are also like carbon fiber, which is fucking light as shit Yeah, I can fucking use that as a toothpick. You know what I mean? Like that ain't that ain't that's nothing. Well, but like

A little three-year-old, you know, three. All right, I'll beat up a three-year-old. I'll say five You said they would whip our ass a five-year-old robot comes in here I'd be first of all be terrified I would be that'd be scary too because I know you don't like like I don't like little kids Yeah, like random little kids popping up. I don't like that. Yeah, but like I'm beating the shit out of that little bastard. All right Um I don't know. No, if it's like the size of John Goodman Preweight loss. We're in trouble

No What about just a regular size like my size? Yeah, I think I could stand a chance Sweep the legs. I'll fucking break its legs. But you can't even beat up like humans That are your size like fucking not all of them. No, not all of them. I mean, of course I I'm not saying I'm I could hold my own with everybody but like if it came in a life or death I'm putting up a fight. I'm gouging those eyes out. Of course. I grabbing nuts Grabbing whatever they got there. They're they're wiring bite that she's coming out. Yeah Because that's the thing like they're all made up of wires and metal

It takes a nice claw Or a bucket of water to just ruin them. Yeah, but that's why they're protected. I would fight them You know where I fight them? I fight them in a sauna and I would fucking win Because their skin would melt off their skin would melt off dude their skin can't reach 180 degrees I think you're underestimating technology too, but you think that we can Let these robots think whatever they want, but this skin will melt at 180 degrees But I'm fighting them in like a steam room or a sauna or out in the fucking rain or snow Like all right. All right. You want to do this? Let's go outside

The sauna might be the move. You know what I mean? I don't know how you're gonna get him in there Oh, I'll get him in there. I have a really good way of getting people into saunas Not even sure what that means. You don't need to know I was talking about that time that we went into the sauna and that dude had his dick out and you were talking to him Dude, I'm all about talking to people dick out or not. I love talking to you Do you remember he like came in and he's like stood there and I was like Hey, man, like come sit down like whatever because I felt weird because I was like, oh, hey, he's just standing Yeah, he comes sit down whatever

Guy sits right behind me with his dick out. I felt the heat from his fucking cock You need to be ready to see Like the worst of the worst in a gym bathroom or like a sauna or something old dicks just look like baby birds Seriously, like you ever see a baby bird's like see-through and like yeah the eye has they always have like black eyes Yeah, like old dicks look like that. They they don't look healthy. I'll tell you that no old dicks look like like Salami they look like they haven't seen sun in like eons. Yeah, you know, I almost look like Extraterrestrial because you could kind of see through and there's like little specks of light

That shine through that it looks like uh, what's that bologna with like the olives in it olive loaf? That's disgusting. It is but that's kind of what they look like right? I don't know. It's weird I don't I don't often look at old guys dicks. No, and I if they're there You gotta gotta see gotta gander. Let me ask you something Okay, dude celebrity, right? Yeah Honestly, I don't even know where I was going with that, but wait, hold on Dude celebrity, right? Yeah

Yeah, uh no, but And you never like go out of your way to see it an old dude dick. I don't go out of my way to see any dicks Let's make sure not even my own. I try to avoid that one at all costs right. I mean, yeah No, but when you see it you're like, oh But then it becomes like a weird like oh god, but I gotta look again. Yeah You gotta analyze this thing You know, it's weird like you want it for the rest of time

It's more of like a social thing like I'm saying to myself like I shouldn't want to see this guy's junk But I kind of have to yeah, I don't even know why it's like, you know It's like van Gogh used to look at Michelangelo's art all the time Yeah, but we're talking about dicks and not like really nice paintings Is there a difference? The body is the canvas You tried but we're talking about dicks. No, it's it's different. It is art. No a wiener is art Not the wieners I've seen. I mean some of them are ugly Some are bad some of them are ugly and then do you ever like look at people and say they probably have a real ugly

Really ugly junk No, oh, yeah, you do don't lie to me. I don't you definitely do I go all this guy's got a hideous dick Yeah 100% no because I feel like you know, it's crazy and like women are very brave because I feel like There's so many different dicks and you never know what's gonna happen That's why they're brave. Yeah that one Not anything else All right childbirth very easy the dick stuff. Whoa years of assault and oppression. Don't worry about it harassment easy stuff It is a joke, uh, but no like they're taking a gamble like it could be like

You never know just like a weird just you never know There's just so many different combinations you could have and like I fear like In the day where I'm in public In public or like I fear the day where I'm at the gym and I see like an uncircumcised dick I've seen them. I know I have too, but I don't look forward to it. I uncircumcised dicks. I'm sorry I don't know like your parents are clearly like laughing when like you're born like I'm gonna ruin his life But it's like a european thing. I think

Where they don't do it They do everything weird over there They're like they don't they don't give a shit about anything over there. I wish I lived there. Let's go They probably have so much fun over there way more fun than we do the fun percentage is way higher in europe than here Oh my god 100% yeah, they're going to beaches not giving a shit. What's what's hanging out hanging out It's hanging out. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah as we're over here like sitting in a in a sauna like, you know Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I'm an asshole. Yeah That dude that dude how does dick out and I was kind of judging him. Hey, man. It's all right

I'm dude. Let it let it fly. You know, I'm all about I'll talk to you no matter I'd love to go to like a nude beach or like a A european like steam room thomas was in like germany It was like dude like a whole family came in together. Everyone naked mom dad kid brother sister. That's crazy kid brother sister Well, yeah, I did hear that that in like europe the whole family the saunas are like co-ed co-ed go crazy Get a steam in why would you need to get a steam room session in with the entire family? Oh, I thought you were gonna say period like uh steam rooms are amazing if you've never been in one No, but like as a family it's like well here like it's a fucking all right. What do you guys want to do?

Let's go. Let's go sweat. Yeah. No that that I don't understand. Yeah, I don't I like I like sitting in steam rooms or like saunas were like friends though Because it's like a social spot, you know, like that's like the spot where you talk Yeah, but like it's 10 minutes get the hell out of here because I'm dying Oh, I sit in there for like 15 20 minutes 20 minutes. Yeah I have to like like tell pete. There's like more time I mean, there's like less time left than there actually is because I know he'll be like I'm getting out. This is pointless

Which it is but It's nice I love the heat. So I got to do it. I love the heat. I love the heat God, you didn't like the heat in vegas No, what? It's like 110. I know I loved it. No I'm not a big humidity guy. I'd rather go to vegas was nice because No humidity 110 dry. I'm also like very Caucasian

So like the sun beats the shit out of me that playlist was made for you. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, I mean the sun gets everyone in vegas, but yeah, it's rough But um, I went to Orlando. That place is terrible. It's a swamp as far as like Humidity goes. Oh, yeah, the plane landed. I was my ass was soaking wet on the plane I'm like, I didn't even get off the plane. I'm already fucking I was chafing around disney world like you would not believe that is the worst like one of the worst It looked like I had poison ivy like between my thighs And you can't do anything at that point. You need to sleep it off

Like you can't put lotion or aloe or anything because that makes it worse. Does it? Oh my god I didn't really do anything if you're chafing really bad and you put like lotion on it. It burns I just like the next day I wore compression shorts, which helped a lot. Yeah, that's like a you have to do that or otherwise you just got to take like KY jelly or something and just just mess it around everywhere I I worked with a kid who literally used to bring a thing of baby powder to work And he would just open his pants

I'm not a big baby powder guy. I I rarely used it. I don't maybe three times my whole life I don't think I've ever used it post like Eight it's a very old school way of thinking Like my dad used to use it. What is it? I to me it's chalk. It's like what is baby powder? It's chalk. That smells good. It does smell really good I love baby powder. I love like all like baby like Geared like things geared toward baby like baby powder baby shampoo. Love the smell of baby shampoo. I don't even know what that smells like Oh, yeah, you do

No, I don't yes, you do. Yeah, I don't at all if you smelled it you would Yeah, that's how it that's how that thing works. You would be like, oh, yeah, that's that's baby shampoo Whatever like baby food is fucking horrendous. Well, I've never smelled it But like oh dude, I can eat a whole tube of baby toothpaste right now What you wouldn't Baby toothpaste. Oh, yeah, is it toothpaste? Yeah, it's like kid toothpaste. But so why is it? Why would you eat it? It's delicious All right, I don't know go by like a fucking sponge bob or paw patrol toothpaste and just try a little a little bit Let me know what you think

Then thank me later I'm not gonna do any of that. You should it's you will be you'll like put it in your drinks You won't do that, but it's it is good I'm not gonna eat toothpaste Frank. I'm not telling you to eat it. I'm telling you to use it Does it still get the job done? It's toothpaste If anything, it works better for them because they have more sugar than we do Sugar I'm saying like the younger kids. They need that shit to be better. Oh, okay. You know what I mean?

Yeah, because I got to wash off a whole other shit. You know little kids are like eating fucking You know nickels and dimes on the plague pen What was that? I don't know. I needed uh help through that eating nickels and dimes on the playpen Yeah Oh, the kids losing it. I'm hungry. That's why I'm hangry. I'm actually hungry as shit, too Let's wrap this up. Yeah. What I mean. I'm not gonna food with you. My mom made food Could have just lied for the podcast and just all right. Let's do it again. Try it You want to wrap this up get some food?

Uh Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, cool. Yeah, um, where can they find you? Uh I made this joke on uh The square circle jerks and I'm gonna make it again Where can they find me uh at lonely lodge in fortnight was good with that was really good Was really really good lonely lodge. I love lonely lodge, dude. Where do you go? I'm not there tilted. I mean obvious anarchy

That's a goodie, uh, and then uh on twitter frank underscore alvarez 80 instagram at f alvarez underscore 80 I co-host a wrestling podcast uh with uh two very greek people Called the square circle jerks. You can find us at scj pod and um I'm actually gonna be on a another i'm doing a guest gig On a podcast this weekend with the guys who were on square circle jerks last week Called the brothers binge podcast. Um They're on twitter and they're on instagram So check them out if you like anything like movie tv video game related, uh, and beer

They like to drink beer too. So hello a little bit of everything. I'll be on there. So that'll be really really fun All right, cool. Well, that is all for this uh week's episode. Thanks for listening Yeah, motherfucker