The Basement Yard - The Worst Prank Ever

Episode Date: December 1, 2015

In this episode, I talk about how dumb Sam Pepper is for that idiotic "kill your best friend" prank video. I also talk about other stuff but I already forgot what it was, just listen.. or don't. I don't know man. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to The Basement Yard. It's Monday, November 30th, two o'clock for what it's worth. Uh, how was everyone's Thanksgiving? I don't know why I'm asking you questions. You cannot answer me. But, I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. I know I did. Uh, nothing really crazy happened this Thanksgiving. Usually there's some fucking wild shit. Someone gets drunk, knocks over, whatever. And, uh, you know, whatever. I'm sure someone out there who's listening had one of those stories that happened. And you're like, oh yeah, my uncle got drunk and he told us that he's six bigger than my dad's or something. You know, there's always something like that. Um, yeah.

When I was younger, I dropped the, I dropped the whole turkey on Thanksgiving. I was like nine years old. I've told this before, like in a video, I was like, I was nine years old. And I was trying, I was like helping my mom or whatever, which I wasn't helping at all. Obviously I'm nine. Um, I was just like getting her like whatever the hell she needed. And sometimes she let me like baste the turkey. Is that the right terminology? Baste? Um, and then I took it upon myself to be like, hey, let me take this turkey to the fucking table because I'm a boss. Right? So I take this fucking turkey with this metal plate with combined weight way more than I do at that age. And I'm walking and I'm fucking, you know, I'm, I'm tipping all over the place.

There's like juice flying all over my hands. And then finally the turkey falls and hits the ground. And no one saw except me and my cousin. And I just like looked at the turkey and then looked at her, looked back at the turkey, looked back at her. It was like, shut the fuck up. Don't say a goddamn thing. And then I put the turkey on the plate and we ate it and it was good. You know, I like to think that I helped out with that. Maybe there was a good some, you know, some bacteria from the floor added to the flavor. Maybe. I don't fucking know. Anyway, the majority of this podcast is going to be talked about this fucking dumbest fucking thing I've seen in a long time, people. Dumb fucking thing. All right. So there's this kid, right? His name's Sam Pepper. Big fucking idiot. All right. He's a YouTuber from God knows where, but he does like these fake prank videos. You know how all, cause listen, all the prank videos on YouTube are fake now.

None of them are real. It's gotten to the point where they're so ridiculous that like they are made up because the pranks that were real were cool because they were real. They got cool reactions. Now people are just setting them up and getting and telling actors, hey, have a fucking crazy reaction, pull out a gun, beat me over the head with a pipe, you know, whatever I got to do to get a million views. But this kid Sam Pepper, he made a video. First of all, let me just give you a background check on this fucking kid. He's a YouTuber. He's got two million subscribers and he was accused of like raping or sexually assaulting a bunch of girls. They all came out and were like, hey, he did this to me. Hey, he did this to me. And you know, so that's his background. That's what he does because he made a video where he was like asking girls for directions and then he would like shady grab their ass like random girls. They didn't know he and he was shady like grab their ass and then they'd be like, what was that? And he's like, what?

He just sexually assaulting people on camera, made a video, people went fucking crazy and then a bunch of people came out and were like, hey, this guy did this to me, blah, blah, blah. So this kid's a piece of shit, big piece of shit, right? So he makes a video and it's called, wait, hold on, let me find it. It's called like murder prank or something. Killing best friend prank. All right, already, why the fuck did you make this big mistake turn around, right? So it's called killing best friend prank. What he did was he, there's these two Viners. The names are Sam and Colby. I've never heard of them, but whatever. I'm assuming they have like a big audience, but so their names are Sam and Colby. And one of them was in on the prank, right? So what the prank was is that these fucking two guys get in a car, Sam and Colby, and they're driving down a alleyway for God knows what reason, right? At this point, let me just tell you how I react to this shit. I don't know if it's real or not. If it is real, then the kid who was crying the whole time is a pretty good actor.

But if one of my friends was like, oh, let's go somewhere and then he's driving down an alleyway, I'm like, dude, are you going to kill me or like try to make out with me? Either way, I don't want, I don't want to be a part of any of it, fucking turn around where I'm getting out, right? So that's how I would do it. But anyway, these kids are driving down a crazy alleyway and the kid starts slamming on his brakes and the kid's like, what are you doing? And he's like, I'm not doing this, right? So he pulls over and he's like checking, he like opens the trunk and he looks for a flashlight and he's like checking the oil or some shit. And then the other kid gets out and then this fucking joker, Sam Pepper, comes up behind them in a ski mask and puts like a black, a black blindfold over this kid or like a bag or whatever. Over this kid, I don't know which one, but one of them, one of the Sam or Colby's, he put a bag over his head so he couldn't see and like wrestled him to the ground. And then once he had the bag over his head, the other kid like helped him and they like taped him up. Bro, if my friend taped me up, I'm beating the shit out of you. Even if it was a joke and like there was no murder involved, if you're like, hey, let's tape Joe, I beat the shit out of you.

Anyway, so they tape him up, throw him in the trunk of this car and speed off. And then it like cuts and it's like 20 minutes later. And then they have the kid who they put the blindfold over strapped to a chair, right? They duct taped him to the chair. So they have this kid duct taped to the chair and they take the blindfold off him. Next to him is his boy that he was with who he thinks also got kidnapped, right? And he's on his knees. He has one of those things over his head. And then this fucking Sam Pepper dick comes walking out with a ski mask over his head and a gun in his hand and points it at his friend's head. And now this kid screaming crying like, he said something like, he's all I have.

Which was like weird. But so he said that he's like, he's all I have. And the kid Sam Pepper shoots the gun and it sounds like a real gun and the kid looks away and the kid drops to the ground. So now they're filming this kid and his reaction which like I said, Like I said, if it's fake, this kid's a hell of an actor, but it seemed genuine from his reaction because this kid's crying and just freaking out, like his friend just got shot because he thinks his friend's dead. He thinks his friend's got murdered next to him, right?

And then after a while, they let him fucking marinate in that mood. This kid's screaming, crying, thinking his friend's fucking dead, and then his friend takes off the thing off his head and gets up, and he's like, dude, I'm fine, dude. I'm good. I'm totally, I'm totally gnar. He's like, I'm totally sick. I'm totally dope. And um, they like cut him out of the chair, and the kid's like, I thought you died, dude.

And they're like hugging and shit. Dude, I would have, and they were on like a balcony. I would have tossed that kid off the balcony and felt nothing. But I can want to fake it, death. Here's a real one. Throw him off the fucking balcony, land in the street, hope a truck runs over him afterwards. That's what I was hoping for. But then, then it cuts afterwards, and it's just them three sitting on a couch like, uh,

like, oh, you know, just, it was a prank, and you know, blah, blah, blah. And then even the dickhead who got pranked was like, yeah, you guys got me. You guys got me. Are you fucking crazy? This isn't even a prank. What happened to the old type of pranks? Like, you leave a door, a jar, and you put a fucking bucket of water on top, and when someone walks through the bucket falls and makes them wet, everyone laughs.

Not murder your best friend, the fucking next to you, and fake it. What the fuck is this kid thinking? This makes no fucking sense. People were commenting like, like the wildest shit, oh man. Someone wrote, I mean this is, this is harsh, but someone was like, I'm not going to actually click on the video because you don't really deserve my video viewership, but you seriously need to kill yourself. Jesus Christ.

But, um, yeah, this video's not well received. It has 318,000 views on it. My guess is that it's going to have a million, because people are going to be talking about it, but it has like 62,000 dislikes, and uh, I can't imagine anyone really liking this. And here's the, here's the deal. This kid's like one of those fucking, hi guys, whoa, he's like one of those YouTubers, you know what I mean? I don't even have to say anything, like you know what I mean when I say, hi guys, today

we're going to be, blah, blah, blah. And um, so he's one of those, so his viewership is like, for the most part, young teenage girls. And now this kid's kind of just making them feel like, hey, young girls, uh, it's totally dope to fake kidnap your friend and also murder, and it's, it's sick, it don't even worry about it, it's going to be awesome. What is this kid fucking thinking, man? I really don't understand YouTubers anymore.

And this kid's whole channel now is just fucking pranks, and they're all just dog shit. It's just, it's so dumb. If any of my friends pulled a prank like that, I would beat them to death with a brick. Just tee off, tee off on their face with a brick. And that would be it. But that's, that's, it's, it's horseshit, man. That's what, fuck it, Jesus Christ, I almost broke this mic stand. Um, that's what YouTubers do nowadays.

They just make these like fake set up videos, they pay actors. It's been, uh, proven. Like these actors come out and they're like, dude, I, why did you, they don't even know what they're signing up for. They're like, hey, are you an actor? Do you want to be in this video? Sign this release form. And then they have them do whatever they want to do.

They have no idea that they're going to make a social experiment. By the way, what the fuck is a social experiment? Cause I don't even fucking know anymore. What it is on YouTube is, hey, let's make people think that people are the shittiest things on earth. You know what I mean? Like how many times you've seen those fake videos where it's like a little kid and he's freezing cold asking for money and they just have these actors walk by them like, oh, and

like not pay attention to the kid who's like asking for a dollar or some shit. I like the kid, uh, I remember saw this one video where the kid like was like, hey, can I have something? And then some guy walked by and was like, get the fuck out of here. I don't care if you live or die. Like it was like a really bad written line even. It was just so obvious and people were like, I can't believe that people are so bad to other humans.

Like you're just portraying a bad picture. Like these, these YouTubers make these fake videos with misleading titles. So you watch it and then they call it a social experiment and they're acting like they're spreading awareness or like helping people, but they're not. They're actually doing the exact opposite. If it's fake, which it's obviously fake, most of these videos are obviously fake. What they're doing is just the opposite. They're not helping.

Making people think that these people are shitty. Like for them, like I understand that there's bad people in the world and they're gonna do bad things, but for the most part, if a fucking kid wearing a t-shirt in one degree weather is like, I need help, no one's gonna walk by and go, fuck you. I don't care if you live or die. Most people won't do that. And you think these kids, these YouTubers found the guy who says that to the kid. No.

They paid someone to say that because anyone will do anything for a fucking dollar. They paid someone to say that so that they can have a reason to be like, yo, that's really crazy and like, I can't believe we're not helping kids and we need to help kids. So like, let's help kids because if we don't help the kids, they're gonna freeze on the streets. Like, yo, you're not helping anyone, guy. You're not fucking doing anything. So fucking dumb.

I hate it. Oh my God. Prank gone wrong. Kissing prank. Gone sexual. What is gone sexual, by the way? You know how many videos you see on YouTube or like Facebook? It's like, kissing prank.

Gone sexual. What the fuck does that mean? You kissed someone and you guys started fucking? Is there sex in the video? Because if not, what the fuck is that title? What does that mean? You're just manipulating. You're manipulating us.

Fucking weirdos. Manipulating the kids. You're manipulating the kids, guys. Enough. I mean, I'm not a fucking idiot, so I don't believe this shit. But the little kids, they're very impressionable and you're tricking them. Kissing prank. Gone sexual.

This guy's kicking. This guy, they start kissing right into anal on fucking, on YouTube. Right into anal. You see everything. You see the penetration. It's not like that real sex show on HBO late at night. You know real sex? First of all, why do they call it real sex if there's no, no penny, no penetration?

It's not real sex at all. This is fake sex. That's another hoax. Yo, it's fucking crazy, man. These YouTubers are fucking weirdos. I love my fans. You're everything, but I'm going to trick you so that you watch my videos and I get paid every month.

Because that's what it's all about, man. These YouTubers will make whatever video they have to, they will fucking say whatever they have to say so that you watch their videos and so they can get paid every month. They don't care about being good. They just care about, you know, whatever. Just getting by. And it's horse shit, man. And like a lot of these YouTubers, what they do is when they get stale, because obviously

they get stale because they suck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you know? But you suck. You they all, they suck. For the most part, no one even tries. They don't try. They live in these big fucking houses out in LA, right?

And they get paid tens of thousands of dollars a month and they don't even try to make good content. They don't put any thought. They go right to, let's find a challenge video we can do for the third time. Because I know that people are going to watch it, so whatever. We got the brainwashed kids watching our videos because they want to see us look cute and smile and they want to see me tussle my hair. So I'll make whatever the fuck I need to make.

They don't care about making good videos. It's horse shit, man. I sound like an angry old man. I'm 23. An angry old man at 23. It's fucked up, man, I swear to God. You know what? But it's crazy, man.

I just wish anyone really gave a shit about anything. But they don't. They just want to collab. That's another thing. They just, they do videos and then when they get stale, they just collab with someone who's like relevant so that they can get their views back up. Like, oh, we did a collab with here and go check me out and did a video with him on their channel.

So it's like, oh, you're going to just cross, do the cross promo thing, but this video's dog shit and if you want to, if you like dog shit videos, you can go check out our dog shit video on their dog shit channel. And then it's just a bunch of dog shit. It's cool. It's a fake prank here and also a fake prank over there. So go check it out, guys. Come check out the what's in your mouth challenge.

We eat stuff and guess what it is? It's so thrilling. It's going to be sick. Also if you guys want to do the condom challenge, we fill up a condom with water and throw it on our heads. It's going to be dope. Oh my God. Three million views.

Dude, come on. How are you that fucking easily entertained? And honestly, I'm not even saying this from a point of view where I'm like, why isn't everyone watching me? Because I'm not for everyone and I understand that and I'm totally thankful. I think the amount of people that watch me is just well over what I like expected. And I'm not saying, hey, come watch me. I make real content and blah, blah, blah.

What I'm saying is this is dog shit and everyone knows it. Like there's no way that you don't know that. Like I'm not saying, hey, come watch me. I'm saying why are four million people fucking want to watch this guy throw a condom on his head again? Everyone does it. Why? I don't understand.

And you know what made me sick to my stomach? The Mad Libs game that I made up, right? I made that game up. I know I didn't make up Mad Libs itself, obviously not. That game exists. But I wanted to play that with my brother and then put the water in your mouth, right? Because it makes it harder to laugh. We've been doing shit like that forever.

Me and my brother. It's just like something we've been doing. Like we were like, all right, put water in your, well we usually play with like beer. It was actually a drinking game that me and my friends played. It was like, you put beer in your mouth, like everyone just puts beer in their mouth and then just stares at each other and whoever laughs has to do a shot after they, you know what I mean? If you spit out your beer, then you got to do a shot.

And we just, it was stupid. There would, beer would be everywhere. It's a dumb game. Don't play it. But so we did that. So I was like, dude, let's play Mad Libs, but we'll put water in our mouth, blah, blah, blah. So no one has done that.

Zero people have done that, right? So I made that video. It goes viral on Facebook. It does well on YouTube, right? Then I made it again. I made it a second video like a month later. I did it again. Same deal, water in the mouth, Mad Libs, blah, blah, blah.

Then, ho, ho, then I see on fucking YouTube, Mad Libs challenge, Mad Libs challenge and all these fucking YouTubers who have millions of views and just no desire to make original content or try with their fucking houses and cars and these trips, first class flights, right? They get all that shit from YouTube and all these young kids who are watching, there are millions of kids that are watching their fucking videos and they don't even try. So they see my video do well and they go, I'm going to do that, right? So they do it and all these people, I don't even, I don't fucking watch YouTube.

So I don't know. So people are tweeting me like, yo, this kid do your video. So I see it and I'm like, I want to wear this kid got this idea from and he goes, I didn't see your video. I was doing a video that I saw my friends do, right? So I'm like, hmm, maybe someone else thought of the idea as well. So I see where he sends a picture. I click on the videos.

First of all, the videos are two fucking years ago, right? The videos were uploaded two years ago. My friend Shane Dawson did this. Two years ago, he made a video just playing Mad Libs, no water in the mouth, no none of that. There was no challenge of all. I'm playing a game. He did that.

And then I forgot who else. Someone did the exact same thing that Shane Dawson did. Both videos are two years old. So I'm supposed to believe that this kid woke up one day and was like, hmm, I'm really inspired by that fucking video I saw two years ago. Let me make this video. Oh, and I'm just going to put water in my mouth because, you know, I just fucking thought of that right now.

It's a great idea. Bullshit. You liar. I don't even care that much, honestly. It's just like, I just care about people caring about their craft. I don't care that he took the idea and didn't like credit me or anything. Not that I don't even want to credit. Actually I do.

Honestly, I shouldn't because like who gives a shit, but it's just like, if you're going to take my idea and just make it your own and just act like it's your idea and then just don't make it so fucking YouTuber-y. Hi guys. Today we're going to play the Madeline's Challenge. I fucking Owl City instrumental playing in the background. Fucking horseshit, man. Don't do that to me.

You know, I'm not that guy. I'm the wrong one. I'm the wrong guy. But yeah, that's what I'm like, dude, what the fuck? I'm supposed to believe that. It's horseshit. He knows it's horseshit. He didn't know what to do.

Ugh. Fucking joke. I saw a bunch of people make those videos. Some people actually, you know, credit me, which is dope, but other people are just like, hey guys, this is a challenge video. I'm not even going to remember where. But all in all, what I'm trying to say here is expect more out of the people that you watch, even me.

If I start fucking sucking, then tell me and just be like, this fucking loads, man. I mean, that sucks to read, but at least it'll be like, all right, I got to do something here. I don't want to get comfortable and just keep making the same fucking videos, which is kind of like what I've been doing. I mean, those idiots on the internet, people love those. I guess because people just love going, ha ha, fucking idiot. This guy's a fucking idiot.

But so I've made those videos a lot, but I need to do something here. I need to make a move. My views are the most they've ever been in my life. When I first started making videos, there was a time where in a week they would get 100,000, which was like my peak. I was like, dope. And then I fell off and I don't know what happened, but I just fell off and I just wasn't exciting people, I guess.

And I don't know if I am not ashamed, that's a different word. If I'm unhappy with the content that was making at that time, or if I was just kind of just putting shit out just to put shit out. But then I was like, you know what, fuck it. If they're not watching, if people aren't watching, it's because I'm being fucking lazy. And then I kicked it up and now, Jesus Christ, these fucking people, man, 300,000 views on everything.

Now, if I don't get, if I wake up and there's not 100,000, I'm like, oh, that sucked, which is fucking ridiculous. Dude, 10,000 views, right? 10,000. Holy shit. 10,000 people. Do you know how much 10,000 is? That's a shit ton.

10,000. I'm over here like, if I don't get 100, I'm upset. Fucking idiot I am, man. It's dumb. But yeah, if you're listening to this and you want to be a YouTuber or something, do the exact opposite of what you see on the internet. Don't make YouTube videos, don't, hi guys, because it's fucking weird. That's another thing.

These people who are like fucking 35 or whatever, grown ass people, right? Older than me. And I consider people who are my age doing it fucking weird, but people older than me. Let's say close to 30, right? 28, 29, 30, 31, 32. That age range. There's people there who are just appealing to a younger audience, but in person they're not, it's just really, it's a really strange thing.

Like they're all about my bae, and I'm like, bro, you're a grown person. Stop it. I don't even know if any of this is hypocritical. I don't even know, man. I feel like sometimes I do shit that's hypocritical. Obviously, I'm a hypocrite. Everyone's a fucking hypocrite. Obviously, I do shit sometimes that's just like lazy and I just do it and I'm like, whatever.

But for the most part, I really, I don't put a video out without really trying, honestly. I really do try like hard in these videos to be funny. I don't write out everything. People ask me that all the time, like, do I have like a script that I read from? I don't necessarily do that. What I do is I have an idea and then I have guidelines sort of, if I'll think of like jokes that I think are funny and I'll write them out and I'll throw them in there. But for the most part, I'm not writing a script.

There have been times where I have written the whole video out and just did it and just kind of like write it back, like line for line, but I don't do that a lot. I'd like to, I write like an outline. I start writing the video about, I start writing the video and I start writing lines for it. But once I turn the camera on and start going, a lot of it's improv as well. So I just start talking and then I just go, go, go. When I write the video out, I'm just kind of like, this kind of fucking sucks, but whatever. And I'll just like film it and then I'll just come up with stuff on the spot that I'm like,

okay, that's good. And then, you know, it all works out. But I really do try to make these videos as good as possible, even if the format is a tired thing. Like the idiots of the internet is that format of a video has been done numerous times. There's a bunch of videos that are like the dumbest tweets of 2015 or a fucking, I don't even know what the hell they call them, but I wanted to do it and just kind of write my own jokes for it to see how it did.

I did one video. I was never going to do it again, but I did one video back, actually last year, what was it? Hold on, let me find out right now. It was the last, oh, wait, hold on, last, oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, November? Oh, last September, September 30th, I did the first idiots of the internet, which actually broke a million views like last week, which is fucking insane.

A million people, what a fucking joke. But anyway, so I did that video, but that type of video has been done before, but a lot of times I watch those videos and the tweets are hilarious and that's what kind of makes the video, but I hope they don't make it for mine. I hope people like the commentary more because a lot of the videos, they just show the tweet and then they say like two words like, huh, what? And then it goes to the next tweet. And I didn't want to do that.

I wanted to kind of stay on top of each one and just kind of give my commentary on it because I watched those videos, I'm like, oh, there's so much potential there. You could be making jokes about this and that, but yeah, the only thing that sucks about making those videos is that that's all I get now from people. People nonstop on Instagram, DM and fucking Snapchat and Facebook. They just send me messages of like shit, like, look at this fucking asshole, put him in your video and I'm like, I'm like, dude, come on, or if one of those, one of those parody accounts like tweets out like a stupid ass tweet, 400 people will send me the same fucking tweet

like, dude, do you see this? Like I've seen it, man, don't worry about it. But yeah, I might hold off on those videos for a while. I want to start challenging myself to get back to ranting about certain things. I don't know who fucking knows. I have no idea what I'm doing for tomorrow's video. I have zero idea. You know what I mean?

I knew I was going to do the Mad Libs video last Tuesday, like two weeks in advance and I have no idea what I'm doing now for the fucking video tomorrow. I got to figure that out today. By the way, I went into Yankee Candle today, which is fucking great. The place is a little weird. You walk in and everyone's an old woman and I come strolling in there and everyone's looking at me like I'm going to rob the place. Like if I was a robber, I'm going to rob you fucking Yankee Candle.

Like why the fuck am I going to rob a candle place? Give me all your fucking candles. You know, like the fuck am I doing in here? So anyway, everyone's like looking at me like, but everyone's old as hell and just fucking just dying and less than a week or whatever. That's terrible. But yeah, I went in there because I wanted to buy, I've never bought a candle before. I was a virgin and I went to Yankee Candle and I bought a candle, obviously, I went

to Yankee Candle, bought a burger, it was good. I bought a candle called Mistletoe and it makes your room smell like a Christmas tree now. And I feel like a lot of my friends are going to see it and go, ah, gay? Which is fine. But it smells like Christmas in here and that's all I want. As soon as it turns December 1st, well you know what, fuck it, November 30th doesn't count.

Let's get rid of that. It's December 1st, people. All right, it's not November 30th. It's the Christmas season, which is my favorite season of the year. It's the best time of the year. Everyone's happy. People are getting gifts. People are fucking getting drunk.

Santa's everywhere, you know? The tree lights in the city go ice skating, like what is, what the fuck is better than that? God damn, nothing. If anyone likes, I can't even think of a holiday that's better than that. Anyone says anything otherwise, you're dumb and I hate your whole face. The whole thing. I hate it.

But I bought this, right? So I bought this candle. I know it's going to get it because I know this is the one that smells like a Christmas tree. So I text my sister and I'm like, what's your favorite Yankee candle scent? So she goes, it's called Fluffy Towels. So I looked, like the guy was asking me, is like, you need help? I'm like, no, I'm good.

I'm sick. And I was looking around and I'm like, am I really about to, I was like trying to find it on my own. And then I went to the register and like, there's a bunch of people around, I'm like, hey, real stupid. Like I felt so like emasculated going, hey, do you guys got Fluffy Towels? And he's like, yeah, I do. And I was like, cool, can I get it?

And yeah, he went in the back and he brought it out and he gave it to me. I smelled that shit and it smells fucking incredible. Let me tell you, all you guys out there, they're like, dude, you got a candle? Real fucking gay. Dude, you smell Fluffy Towels, your whole goddamn perception will change. Okay. This fucking room smells like Christmas right now. I'm having a great time.

All right. This is fun. All right. I'm having fun. And Fluffy Towels is fucking incredible and makes your room smell like fresh laundry and Fluffy Towels. It's better than that. Christmas and a Fluffy Towel.

Kill me now. I'm in heaven. That's it. You don't like both candles at the same time. The scents will conflict and it will smell like shit probably. I don't know. I'm not stupid. I'm not going to do that.

I just have mistletoe going right now. Sorry. My throat is very itchy. But yeah, so I got a Christmas smelling room, which is great. Fluffy Towels. We'll do that if during the day maybe, it's like a sunny day, light Fluffy Towels. Just chill out. I think candles are going to become my thing.

I'm just going to have a million candles now. I'm just going to have them all around my room and I'm just waiting to burn this fucking place to the ground. That's what's going to happen. I'm going to leave this on in the middle of the night. It's going to tip over. Everything's going to set on fire and I'm going to be like, there you go. Fluffy Towels.

It dies from Fluffy Towels. It's going to be a fucking headline. What an idiot. I'm fucking out of my mind. Anyway, that's how long is this shit? 35 minutes. Mine are short, man. I feel like people do podcasts.

They talk to themselves for like an hour. I would have to do this with double the amount of time. Are you kidding me? What the fuck am I going to talk about? I don't know. I love doing it though, man. I love doing it though. But yeah, that's it, man.

That's all I got for you guys. If you want to follow me on Twitter, just at JoeSanagato. If you guys are fans of sports, I have a sports podcast with my friends. It's called Veterans Minimum. Go check it out on iTunes or SoundCloud. What else can I plug here? I don't fucking know. Plug your fucking ass.

Buttplugs. What a fucking weird invention. Anyone listening like Buttplugs? Is anyone listening? Yeah? Because they're weird things. Think about it. Why are you sitting on that, sir?

Get up. Get off the plug. All right. I'm fucking losing it. I'm out of here. Thanks for listening as always, you motherfuckers.