The Basement Yard - These Movies Made Me Cry

Episode Date: September 19, 2017

@Frank_Alvarez80 is on to talk about movies that made us cry. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard today. I am joined by Frankie once again and Again, it looks like this is a sponsorship for these beers, but it's really not it's not at all If anything, it's a sponsorship for a a yeah So so for people for people who are not watching on fullscreen and you're listening guess what? Dirt wolf is back and not only is dirt wolf that you remember how dangerous I got last time Not only is dirt wolf back, but we got raging bitch Yeah, there's a there's a beer called raging bitch. We were standing in the grocery store. We saw a dirt wolf which Thank God the wolves are out. Yeah full moon full moon full moon wolves are out and we saw the next one

We were like trying to put in words with the dirt wolf to like make it sound cool Because like I said like oh, let's go get all gurgs again, and that what did I say like dirt dirt curd which is hilarious, but Dirt bitch is the way to go dirty bitches dirt. We're just gonna mix these up and make dirty bitches Dirt bitch is the way to go. I wish like bitch is such a flexible term. I love it I love I love the term bitch because it could be used in like a happy way in a sad way What's the sad way? You know all bitch What is that? You know like? Oh, bitch

I've never heard anyone say that I heard people use it like that. I don't think you've heard anyone say that I think you made that up. No someone once called me a dirty bitch I'm so down to get called back. Can I have this? I was super pumped. I just opened two. I know but I know Oh, yeah, you're right. Okay. No, I'm right Math was not my strong one half dirt wolf half dirt half bitch this only can we try this first I've had raging bitch before it's a quality beer. It's strong. It'll get you. Oh, it'll it'll fucking get you It'll get you They're gonna think that we're like tainting their beer by pouring it with another beer

Yeah, we can kiss that these sponsorships goodbye if Pete was here. He would be so upset. I mean, I don't really need the sponsorships because All right, this is the dirty bitch we're mixing the dirt wolf and the raging bitch So here's a question. How does it become a beer show? I don't know. There's a little wolf left over. I'll take that question Mm-hmm dirt wolf 8.7 raging bitch 8.3. Do you just add those now? We're drinking basically like a glass of vodka. I Think so. Is that how that works? Is that how like beer and alcohol works? We have our resident beer guy here, Kyle Yeah All right, perfect. We believe him man a few words man of man of great words few words many talents I don't know him, but he has him. I'm sure he does. I'm not like

Particularly excited about this. Do you see what I just said particularly? That's a dirty bitch that is a bitch bitch You know, it's you know, it's weird. I kind of taste like dirt You know, it's crazy is I can drink that like in one sitting It's good like I can fucking throw this back and be happy We should just create dirty bitches and just buy these mix them listen and not tell a flying dog and victory Get together make a beer called dirty bitch and then commission us 89%

That's a lot. It is a lot. I would say a solid 4% each. What the fuck listen man I got this is all I can get shoe for the stars, right? You'll get like 12 because you're naturally a better-looking person than I am We aren't member the rankings, right? You said I was a nine. Dude. You're fucking on a The way that you were acting today though, you lost some points. What was I doing today? You were leaking out your butt. Oh, yeah, that happens. You were leaking I have really bad like yo, I don't know why but as of late it's because I've been eating like healthy and Drinking Wolves

Supplementing a fiber intake with dirt wool. Yeah, exactly, but it's just it's not good. I think it's the almond milk Honestly ever since I switched Really almond milk's making me just Fucking do it if I I stopped taking protein after the gym because if I take protein It's coming right out. Not that it's coming right out, but it's it's It's fucking it's a birth Yeah, my it's bad I'm pretty confident that my body is completely brand new every single morning like it just rids itself of all nutrients and toxins

I got a lot of residual shit from the past week in here. Really? Yeah, you're backed up like a fucking dirty drain I feel like I that I feel like I've been I used to eat and then shit immediately So I felt like I would eat and then it would stay in my stomach and just wait for more food to come in Out that's not good. Yeah, I don't know. Have you ever gotten a a finger in my butthole one of those tests. Have you yeah? I haven't it sucked wait. Why'd you get it never mind? Yeah, let's not get it Check up and routine it was it was routine that he uses tongue or well he actually spanked my ass before you put his finger in it All right, Frank

Did he say anything before him no, he said you're gonna feel a little bit of pressure so then yes He did say something before Routine for guys. It's actually healthy to get your prostate checked. Oh, yeah, it's the healthiest thing in the world No, no, seriously, like prostate is a big issue, right? Oh sure. Yeah, why are you asking them like they're all like someone back me up here? I believe you I mean the angel the angel is wonder Romel over here. He knows He gets it. He gets it Yeah, no, it's this is a dirty wolf it sucked This is look one sip of this son of a bitch and we're already off the rails. I'm what my face is hot. I love it

I don't know what's happening to me. Yeah, so it felt like There was what is a finger in that what which finger by the way? He went full he went pointer wait full pointer Oh pointer he deep-throated your ass with his pointer like a one two three He was just like all right. You're gonna feel a little bit of pressure. Oh He went wham. He went on he went. Oh wham right. He went on to count of three one two. Yeah, and it's in yeah Yeah, that's what it's doing you go bungee jumping like you like you immediately just like I like clenched up And I was like get off get out right get it. I've never felt someone in my body like that That's quite the sense I'll say what are we two minutes in and I think that's the one I think that's the one that's a

Type it yeah, cuz you're just gonna be a little bar that pops up wait for it Three two one Kyle you hear this it's unbelievable He like that's another thing that's another thing he did I was so upset He was so disgusted after he did it like I look I keep myself and listen. Do you blame? All these guys fingering fucking do do respect there are way worse assholes out there than ours Way worse. Why are you talking on my behalf? That's weird you could have talked about yours, and we would have been fine

Me and Joe. We've got great ass. We are we got him down. Yeah, like I was a little insulted He like after like in disgust Snap his fucking glove off and through it, and I was like I was so like I was laying on my side away from it I like looked over like What the fuck I was so upset that hurt that really hurt me That's like what happens when when girls when guys have sex with girls and they leave immediately girls like hey I felt used by this fucking doctor. Yeah, and then he insulted me. What do you say? He's like could be better No, he did not say that I swear to God, but he obviously wasn't talking about your butthole

I don't know what he was talking about, but that's That's the most upsetting thing is I had no clue I don't know if like someone came in and like showed him something real quick I don't know if he like saw his shoes or like it could have been anything. I didn't know But he all I know is something could have been better So what do you think be honest with yourself, you know, could it could it be better listen? I I I'm gonna say yeah, I don't pride myself on much But I I keep a pretty tidy shop

No I'll be honest with you. I think I've said this before I'm not like the I don't think I'm the greatest like washer Mm-hmm, right butthole though Pristine it's amazing That I don't leave fucking stains on every pair of boxers that I have I

Don't really know how to take that. I'm just saying like it's it's an amazing area of the body Like it's there shit there all the time What not outside, but you know like inside Same question and your body and your body just holds it in that's pretty cool Are you are you blown away by assholes right now, that's pretty cool Assholes are pretty cool. You sound like a science teacher like trying to sell me on biology right now for anatomy There you go. Sorry human anatomy is pretty fucking cool like the fact that the asshole just Stays tight enough to not lead tight. First of all, have you it's tight. Have you ever seen

All right, this is getting real. Let me take one more sip before I get it out. I'll join you Have you ever seen like a picture a close-up of an asshole Yeah, looks like this. I'll be Doesn't look like that tighter. Yeah, like like a lot tighter. Yeah, so it Looks like it's a brand new thing for humans. You know what I mean? Like not a fully developed thing like it's still working You know like evolution like fish of it like eventually like over time they got gills so they could breathe them through water Yep assholes look like They're sort of new. Yeah, they don't look normal. You know what I mean?

I would love to see an asshole 200 years ago and an asshole now. I Think you just go further back to 200 years lots happen in 200 years First of all those assholes back then were disgusting. They didn't have any and they were like They were like, what were they doing? I don't want to go too far back 200 years ago 1817, right? What were they doing back then? What was that like? I mean, they're gangs of New York. Yeah, probably right? Yeah, what were they wiping their ass with back then parchment? I don't even know what that is Papyrus I know what papyrus. Mmm. That's too old. That's too old. What is papyrus? I know it's paper, but like what the fuck is it made out of it? I think it's its own thing

You bourbon. Yeah, dude. She's a dirty bitch. This is a dirty bitch. I Think papyrus is its own thing. I don't know. I Don't fuck with it. I would never want to wipe my ass with that either I feel like if I wipe my ass with papyrus, it would it would turn to dust The papyrus or your ass Fair question both No, the papyrus my ass will overpower that You we've spent a long time on your ass by the way

Listen man, you brought it up with the pinky and the fucking I gotta go get that now now I know what to expect. Yeah, you probably should for your for your health Yeah, well usually you start doing it at 30 right or 40. You can decide whenever you want No, I know. I mean, I'm just not that like you know prostate cancer is a real thing Obviously, it's a real thing and it's fucking terrifying. Oh, it's terrifying. It'll getcha. It'll it will definitely get you It literally like you know when people are like like saying like oh, it's fucking me. I'm getting fucked in the ass That was dark Wait, I don't know what you're saying like that's what prostate cancer does. That's dark. Oh, wow

Yeah, that was that was heavy. So I was at a Yankee game on Friday You know, we're not gonna harp on How do we get away from Frankie's asshole? I Saw something that I sent you a picture of yeah, and I know that you wanted to comment on it I know so bad. So I was sitting. I actually didn't believe you you texted me And I was like I just trying to be funny. So my girlfriend pointed out a bit that he's doing Everyone this is real. I swear. Yeah. No, this is um my girlfriend pointed out There were these fucking obnoxious kids in front of us like I mean like

24 out of college work at a hedge fund Long Island Long Island or fucking Westchester County Probably hate black people. Oh Definitely hate black people. Yeah, every one of their Spanish friends. They think are Mexican, right? You know like those types yeah, and He was wearing a hat a light denim hat Remember we had the three checkbox shirt Republican Party Democrat Party Wow the three checks are really following us three check marks

Facts Dead ass and sun three words three check marks facts dead ass son. I wanted to fucking Gouged my eyes out when I feel like most people like who aren't from New York Wouldn't even know what the fuck any of that man or people that are not from New York that want to fucking be from New York Where that hat like oh, this is what New Yorkers say facts dead ass on dead ass facts I feel like they're a better you go over and spit in his face It took everything in me not to did you should have put a pinky in his fucking ass? Oh, I should or a pointer. You know what though those fucking whites love that shit

What's up the ones that are gonna grow up to be like fucking like major hedge fund people I don't know if you're a hedge fund dude when you're faxed dead ass son I feel like facts dead ass son is like vaping hard Like the tricks where you blow it on the table and then just and then you chop it so it's like a tornado or whatever Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what those fucking kids do yeah I wanted to add there were so many other things that we could have added on to that hat Trust fund check. Yes 100% dad's car. Oh, mm-hmm. Yeah Viagra at 24 check

Definitely a check still drinking for locos. Oh Ladder golf. Oh Yeah, I'm crushing this. Yeah, a lot of fucking cornhole. Oh my god. Yeah still going to college parties check Graduated five years ago. Yeah, Van fucking Van Wilder of their of their college and they definitely went to somewhere so white like Purdue Purdue's pretty fucking super white I feel like every time I see like a Tinder profile online It's and it's like a dude where you know that people post girls post conversations where it's like

Look at this guy said and it just says sup Mike anal or not. It's like immediately. They're just do it They're just like dude. What's good? That's one of those guys being that straightforward like obviously they're kind of like Joe I don't know actually I don't want to say that but I feel like they're like joking around but Can you imagine being that direct? That's what Tinder has become now It's like a gimmick like people don't actually use it to try to fuck It's like to see who I think people are fucking I think they are but it's like who can come up with the funniest one liner That'll actually work. Yeah Which got to respect the hustle at that point in time

How are people not fucking because all I know is people are swiping all swipe. They swipe right for everybody. Well, Tinder like up till Recently it was like unlimited swipes and now you need to like pay extra. Was it like fucking Pandora? I guess so I Know there's a super like which I don't know what that is. What is a super like does anyone know Who here has Kyle knows someone here has a tinder Kyle. What is it? He's been affected by this This is who super like Skies Skies the limit on lights

That's some bullshit Tinder. They were like, how do we money giving the people with money? The opportunity to succeed and the rest of the people who are out there to try to get their cocksucked or pussy licked They're they're battling uphill How much is a super like how much is a super like do you get like one a day? That's tough. That's tough. Can you imagine super liking someone and then right after like a 10 comes out? Yeah, you're like fuck. I wish I would have fucking that's really just super like a six never I had Tinder for like when I was single for I love tender so much and I got rid of it because I was one of those like I don't need social media

You need it dude, I need I need all the help like I needed all the help yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I don't know what I was thinking It was rough this is starting to hurt. I love it This is simultaneously a great and awful idea. What? Yeah, a dirty bitch. Are we doing another one? I Don't know. I kind of want to just have it have a wolf. I'll have a flying dog a raging bitch a Raging bitch. Yeah, I'll have a bitch. You have a wolf and then we'll switch up for the next one Okay, fine

What do you think is the most successful? Dating app, I don't think it's tinder is it like one of those tinder was like a pioneer Yeah, like Facebook tinder broke ground for like the frat stars to go out there. You're like, oh Pussy yeah, like god, you want to be my tinder Ella. You know what I mean Do people say that I knew a kid that used to ask girls to be his tinder Ella Wow Um, I kind of hope that kid gets like hit by a car, but yeah, let's see. I do too No, I yeah, well the only reason why I hope he lives is because I hope he suffers for the rest of his life Fair enough see this is I'm very smart. I like you

What do I think is the most successful? It's probably one of those fucking white ones like e harmony or e harmony I feel like it's just for like 70 year olds who are just like not At farmers only dot-com. Is that really for just straight up from our farmers our farmers? Hold on How's the sneeze laugh a slap good try Have a sip is our farmers really having that much trouble that they're like hey We need one because everyone's got one. There's black people meet Jay date Jay date Jay dates bumble though I feel like bumble super Jewish Am I crazy go on?

What how is Bumbled Jewish because all the Jews I know are on bumble How many Jews do you know I know like a good nine and they're all so then they're not like they're bumbling They're not like aggressive Jews. You know what I mean like I feel like aggressive Jews on Jay date are the ones that are like My name is Moisha. I like to drink Mabash Ebbets You know like real Jews are on Jay date not these fake Jews that you know I Know real Jews dude. Let me guess. They're swiping right on the night of the Sabbath. I Don't even know what that means exactly. I'm not into you know, you don't know real. I don't know anything about religion

I'll be honest with you. Yeah, I'm not a really. It's terrifying. I mean you're more religious than I am What you you've been confirmed. I so I'm an ex religious person Yeah, I'm not so my mom made us go to Sunday school every single Sunday growing up until I made my confirmation and then she's like It's up to you. And I was like, well, see ya deuce. Yeah, it's like I'll come back on Christmas and I'm what southern now palm Christmas. Um, I said palm Christmas. Is everyone doing okay? I Was never religious at all my sister used to like take us to church because I live right across the street from the church Yeah Yeah, and she's just take me to church and I would fucking hate being there and then whenever the money thing would come around

I'd try to take money out of it. Stop it. I swear. I I didn't know so you're going to hell No shit. This is this is the deciding factor. No, this is a deciding factor. I've done pretty well for myself I don't know about that. I think there are many other things that make me go to hell. Yeah Why did you just look at my shirt? I don't know one of the reasons why I'm going to hell I Like it's distracting. There's a lot of my tits. Yeah, I don't know what you're doing my shirt Yeah, never never a big religious guy. No, I mean it just kind of just All right before we move on. Let's get to the sponsors here. The first one we have is Harry's

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Go to harrys.com slash basement right now. That's harrys.com slash basement next up blue apron Mom if you're listening, this is your shit Blue apron, okay You're like, what is that? They put a bunch of food in a box and they send it to your house and you're like, oh fuck. This is lovely. Okay

But it's all pre-portioned. It's not like made into a little whatever The whole point is that you get fresh food good food and you learn how to cook it So they'll send you instructions step-by-step instructions all the food's pre-portioned So you can make yourself a nice meal and start a little fucking cookbook day, okay? It's good for like birthdays or like Valentine's Day or whatever. What's what's what's coming up? Maybe not Thanksgiving, but you know fucking Christmas is I'm I don't know You know one of these days if you want to start getting into cooking. This is a good way to do it It's also affordable for less than $10 per person per meal

Blue apron delivers seasonal recipes along with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals Check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free with free shipping by going to blue apron comm slash basement You guys are gonna love this blue apron comm slash basement. All right. Let's get back to the show We're going to see it. Oh, it's coming out. Oh tomorrow Friday, it comes out Friday, but we're gonna see tomorrow. Yeah Why'd you say that like we're going to a Hollywood exclusive like we're going to the theater? We're paying for fucking the $30 rpx tickets and shit. Let me have this first of all rpx. What is that? It's just louder. I I think it's the just dumbest way to get more money. It's like is it just the volume

I think like there's like volume here and here and here, but who needs that People that want to fucking I never got that because I've never been at a movie like I just can't hear anything Like no one's fucking talking. I think it's like the like there are certain movies you would want to see like Like Dunkirk like that is like a visually beautiful movie You know what? I mean like it's all about like the scenery And stuff like that like that. I could see a movie experiencing in in like rpx, but it No, I'm terrified of this movie. I'm letting you know. I'm going to be pissing my pants sights. I'm so pumped But I'm terrified

I'm more scared of the balloon than the clown. I don't know why the balloon is just so fucking creepy You heard there's a city. I forgot where it was, but there's a city or a town That the cops. What is the difference between a city and a town? The same difference between a cock and a dick. Okay All right fair very fair fair. I love that by the way, right really good. You're welcome. Cheers to that Cheers to that. Um, but there's a city where uh, People are tying red balloons to sewer grates I fucking love that and cops are finding them and like this is the freakiest shit that we've ever fucking seen because they're everywhere

I love it. That's awesome I'm super. I can't wait to see this movie. I'm terrified. You saw that. Did you see the one from the 90s? Yes, but I watched it like recently. So I was like this sucks It's not as scary, but like you can appreciate that. Yeah, like fucking freaky I mean, I'm not honestly clowns don't really do it for me. It's just they're they're too happy There's so much sadness behind those eyes that you know, they're gonna Snap at any point in time. I feel differently like I feel like I'm in a super minority Like it's either you're terrified of clown people are either terrified of clowns or

They want girls to dress up as clowns so they could fuck them like looking like a clown That's a that's a fucking thing. That is a thing. You know that 1 800 clown fuck That's too many numbers too many. We can't just keep calling frank clown Sex no too many still too many. It was a good try. Um, but people want people are like dress up as a clown I want to fuck you put the big shoes on put the nose on They fuck people that are dressed in fucking like mascot uniforms. That's not the point But I I just don't care. I'm in the middle of my I'm not terrified of clowns like clowns don't freak me out but

It's just you wonder, you know, I don't you really wonder what's behind the the fucking makeup John Wayne gacy. Do you know who John Wayne gacy was? You're about to tell me he was a real life clown He was Listen a real life clown. Yeah, he was a clown in real life. You're saying that like it's like a he was a giant He was a clown in real life He like went to like parties at like ronald reagan through And he murdered reagan's he murdered clowns at his party. Yeah, this was the 80s. There were no rules It's not about rules. It's about yeah, it is get someone get a fire dancer

John Wayne gacy real life clown real life murderer. They found like oh, I like that Bodies of children under his life. Oh, he was killing kids kids. Fuck with that even more You know what? I mean like that's crazy like that's kind of freaky So one clown kills somebody and then all these people running around like fucking clowns over in forests I was gonna say that that whole thing like I was like, this is so stupid I don't my favorite is the videos of people in cars that see them and then back up and start like freaking out backing up Yeah, I'd fucking put it in drive and hit that son of a bitch not even it's like you're locked in my car Like what is this fucking clown gonna do right now? It's not the hulk

I would If I was throw my car. I said it back then if I was alone I would take off if I was with someone else. I'd be like let's beat the fucking living piss out of this person I don't know clowns don't scare me But this movie is probably gonna scare this movie's gonna be really good. It's getting really good reviews I'm not like a crazy scary movie person either. I love scary movies. I love I love being Scared No, I don't I don't like it. What's the scariest thing like movie you've ever seen

The scariest movie I've ever seen I couldn't even tell you or like what scares you the most in movies More like the pop-out shit obviously like jump scares. Yeah, like oh and then someone plays a violin real quick And you're like, oh, you know, I hate that insidious Yes, that was that was good. That was a scary movie Yeah Like it fucking freaked me out. Yeah, I don't I don't like that. Oh, I hate little girls like shining hallway matching I'm glad you said you hate little girls and not that you love them. Yeah swear to god keep your fucking little It's just girls because boys

I'm like whatever like if I saw a little kid by himself in the street I'd still be like fuck that but if I saw a little girl, I'm like, okay I've seen this little boy You'd be more inclined to beat the shit out of them if you saw a little girl you'd be like It's a little girl Yeah, I don't know. I just I don't like it like the whole possessive stuff religious shit really bothers me Yeah, I don't like like the exorcism of emily cock

Or anything rose exorcism of emily cock. Yeah, I think I don't like it. I think I saw that one The porno. Yeah, no kidding. Um Yeah, religious shit freaks me out too. Like the exorcism is one of the scariest movies I mean now if I watch it, it's kind of funny and laughable because it's not it doesn't hold up That movie was like you can go back and be like, okay, this would have fucking Killed people the theater it she came down the stairs Backwards bridge style. Yeah screaming Can you imagine you're at a dinner party just fucking chilling and some fucking bitch comes down the stairs like bitches

Who wrote that into the script? How'd they even do that? I don't know. That was that was terrifying. That really was I mean, yo just the sound was like I was like, you know, fuck also also funny though. How like the she like says like shit like, yeah Yeah, I love that That's why like, I don't know if it holds up like it scared me when I saw it when I was 12 Yeah, but will it scare me at 25? Just the just the the uh Possession thing I don't I don't like it like being possessed and like demons and like because that scares me because it I'm then I'm like

At night and I'm like, it's so interesting that you don't find yourself get me you don't find yourself religious But you're afraid of religious horror Those things I would think they would kind of go hand in hand No, I would just think they'd kind of go hand in hand like if you were religious things that would go like You know sacrilegious would scare you more No You know what Pete said Pete was like I'm kind of super down with like exorcisms and

You know people being possessed Because he's like then because if that's real then maybe there is an afterlife or whatever. I was like, hey There are demons. There has to be a good way to look at it There are demons. They're half there has to be a god I don't know if it was like because like I mean the whole no one's been Why does people have been possessed? Is that like an old thing? I feel like that's like Back in the day when we used to throw people in fire. So it would rain like that's when people got possessed Maybe they weren't possessed

They were just like there was like women and knew had a count and they'd witch. Yeah, you know what I mean Broom in the fire. Yeah, get rid of them. It hasn't rained. You're in the fucking desert dickhead Yeah, there was a uh this thing that I imagined that like in Egypt like yo, they're tossing chicks every day You're in the desert for sacrifice Hey, why did we stop doing that? I don't know who's the asshole's like? Hey, you know what? Maybe stop. There's no proof it works, but then I would say there's no proof it doesn't it's true You know what? I mean like who came down and said like stop Yeah, and then who believed him. Yeah, like you know what this guy knows what he's talking about

Yeah, if you can sacrifice one celebrity for like the betterment of the earth right now, who would it be? A celebrity a celebrity or one of our friends They're both the same well that just got real. What's that mean? Uh I don't know Who would I sacrifice? I already know who i'm giving up who? Kim Kardashian Oh that take the whole family give me eternal life

Why I can't stand them. They don't really do anything for me, honestly They're just like it's just enough You know what I mean like enough You know, I like oh man. I mean, I'm not a big kathy griffin guy. I don't know why she pops my random It's just like she's so loud and just like oh man I don't even like see her like I like hear of her like once every like eight years, but I'm like, ah I just know she's there. Yeah. I don't know. I I feel like the just I've had enough of their Kardashians I want them gone. What have they done lately? They're just it's like it's

I think it's more it's not really their fault As much as it is like society's fault. I'm not gonna get into this You know, joey hates when I turn white Frankie as he calls me. No because He does you do because you put on your your um, no, uh, the particular like you start going crazy. Listen, man Get you someone who can do both That's not how the saying goes but who can drink raging bitches and dirt wolf at the same fucking time and dirt wolves at the same time Exactly and use big words like Facetious

That's your favorite word. I love it. I heard it today in madden. They used it madden did use it I was really shocked that madden used it to be completely honest with you. Why? Because that's a big word Anyway, I gotta pull the fucking the mic out because We got heat coming. No, I don't have heat coming. I just have like It might be heat coming later. Oh, but it's not heat. You're gonna like it's gonna stink. Oh you dirty bit There you go You know what this is probably gonna do to me comes full circle dirty bitch a combination will probably just make your farts

Smell like asshole. I would I would assume your your whole body just gonna excrete. Yeah. Well, no, they that makes sense Yeah, they do you would hope your farts smell like asshole Not really Listen, it's like the country of origin That's like if an avocado smelled like florida What does that mean? Just send me home. That was that was really bad Send me home. Yeah, exactly. Um, I wanted to talk about Fucking doomsday preppers. I know we're taking a turn here, but just because I recently saw this like article of this dude

and First of all, I love the guy. I forget his name. I wish I knew it. I'm gonna say it's phil Fuck that sounds like a doomsday prepper name. He's just standing there in a in overalls With a literally a salt rifle on his shoulder. Yep And he's just, you know behind like a farm or like, you know, just in some Farmy state or whatever and he's got this like hidden metal Enclosed thing underground like a doomsday prepper and these people they buy like 400

bottles of shampoo Lot of rice They're like just extreme couponners. Yes. It's they could go hand in hand if an extreme couponer Was a doomsday prepper they could start their own fucking colony. Yeah, the world would be saved I find that shit crazy like How paranoid are you? Not only paranoid, but like what do they think is gonna happen that that will protect them? You know what I mean? Like in reality like if the fucking doomsday does come being 20 feet underground Not saving a single soul. Yeah, I don't know what they're building like

This isn't the fucking like what was that movie that a cloverfield 10 cloverfield lane very good movie. Have you seen it? I did see it with John Goodman. Oh, yeah, it was all right He was he was creepy as fuck. He was creepy and it's also creepy because it reminds me of my dad kind of Yeah, but that's not why he's creepy. But yeah, I mean that's I imagine that's how my dad would act during a doomsday By the way, I hope not actually I lied my dad would be out there just facing the missile or whatever. Yeah He'd be like chomping on an alien's teeth. Yeah, no my dad my dad my dad has a top five ways He wants to die So do I don't you? No

What do you mean? No, what's number one? Number one attacked by a lion tiger and bear at the same time Very specific. There's when are you gonna get those three in the same? Exactly. That's why I want that to be just like a Fucking a zoo that Went rogue. Yeah, all the doors opened like Jurassic Park. That's an easy think about it Getting attacked by either one of those is pretty fucking badass Imagine those are my three favorite animals. First of all My favorite animals are a fucking penguin, but I could beat the shit out of like No, we spoke about this

Not too long ago. I'm kicking the shit out of a penguin. Let's not get crazy Dude, uh an emperor penguin can be like four and a half feet tall two of those That's the size of like a 12 year old who I will also kick the shit out of at the same time But it's like quadruple the weight almost two of those sons of bitches roll up on you smack from one smack from the other You might go down. First of all, they got little flippers. They can't even reach me They got the little peck fucking, you know, the beaks are sharp. They're meant to fuck Fucking snap fish out the water. Yeah, I know Yeah, but I've just fucking throw kicks

I don't know man. If an emperor penguin Or three come at you Threes a lot. You might not have three 12 year olds is even a lot. I'll be honest with you. Three 12. Are you kidding me? Sorry, I can fucking one hand beat the shit out of them. The other hand jerk off I don't know shit. I don't know why you would do that. How many laws did you just break in that sentence? It's because beating off in front of 13 year olds while fighting them You get what I mean No, I don't you raging. What the hell are we just talking about the way you want to go out to die? Oh, yeah

I don't know come on. I just know I don't want to I don't want to drown. Am I jinxing it? Oh god I really don't drowning has got to be bad. I think what do you think is worse drowning or being buried alive? Buried alive is fucking worse Yeah, but they say like oh do you saying that ruins me right now? Yeah, but like they say that when you're buried alive Eventually, you're just fall asleep because of the carbon dioxide or carbon dioxide. You just freaked out for four hours Yeah, but like you're when you drown you feel your lungs pop I'm down to feel that it's like a seven minute thing. No seven minutes

How long does it take you to drown bro? I don't have good Like a good breath me neither. I'm going down a minute At most I held my I held my breath in the pool with Keith one time We timed and I went under it was 36 seconds. Yeah. No, I'm not very good at holding my breath. No, I'm not I'm trash. I don't smoke. I chalk it up to my father fucking smoking all those damn years Well, I have no excuse my parents don't smoke. Yeah, nothing. I just suck lucky but uh I I would rather

Buried alive or drowning. I would rather do anything to be buried. Honestly Those are like 1a 1b though. That's Antonio Brown and Odell. Yeah, you know, I'm sure enough Fair enough. Those are both really really bad. Oh my god But you so you don't have a top way you'd want to die like someone if they ask like oh, oh, yes You wouldn't be like if I had to choose if I'm like, you can pick whatever you want. I'm like fine. Yeah, here's what I'm doing I'm going to fucking Walmart I'm stocking up on guns and a lot of ammo sitting on my roof zombie apocalypse Eventually they get me but I'm on the run for months and I'm just leveling people

Wait, so you're carrying all these stocked up guns and ammo Well, I'm stocking them up and then I start on my roof and I start picking people off But eventually they break into the house. I gotta take as much ammo as I can carry and fucking beat it out of there So how are you getting down A ladder Frank. So did you buy a ladder with all that or did you have a ladder if there's a zombie apocalypse? I'm prepared as fuck By the way, so you're a dude they prepper

No, I'm saying like but if If I was on if we like, you know how that Ebola should happen was like, you know only one person had it If there was one zombie that like I'm like fuck that I start preparing fair enough 100 percent Because that's just slippery slippery Take your time. Hello. Take your time. A lot of dirty bitches here Slippery slope, but if I could choose I just want to sit on my finish that dirty bits because you got a dirt wolf coming your way Sit on my roof with guns and just start leveling people

So you want to go out like I am legend will smith style. Yeah, but I don't want to shoot my dog at all Yeah, no no shooting of the dogs. Let's make sure that is the worst thing. It's ever happened in a movie. Oh Oh, yeah, besides that and when fucking that kid was making airbud leave come out of here Fuck that kid. You know confession time never seen airbud confession time Fuck you. How's that? It's fair. That's that's shitty. That's a great movie. What am I doing here? Other side

Yeah, I've never seen airbud Nope, I you know what? I'm sure you can actually open it that way I'm not gonna do that. Try it. I'm really tired Bambi's mom getting shot. That's a pretty bad one too. Oh, uh, don't remember Bambi You don't remember Bambi. No, that's like one of the most traumatic things Mufasa dying lion king. Oh, I watched that recently and I was like Yeah, it was it was rough That one hurts. Yeah, because Simbo's just like get up. Yeah, he didn't know dad. He didn't know he had no idea

He was dead That's a really tough one. What other movies like traumatize you as a kid? Uh, my dog skip. Oh, dude. How do you have this nice movie with this cute dog? And then Frankie Munez who by the way still looks like he's 13. Yeah, weird Weird-looking guy. Fuck you because we went to see that traumatizing movie for your birthday in second grade I knew that I cried at my own birthday. Not only did that movie fucking tear me apart But I also cried in the bathroom Because I like said something to a girl

I like went up to her was like and it was the girl I liked all comes full circle And I like jokingly said something like ha ha like you smell like butt And then I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out Why this is like the second time you told the story like that double crying Yeah, because of my dog skip and because of you and Bridget. Dude, my dog skip They had this nice movie Frankie Munez who just likes this. Oh abc family now come in the middle I'm the I'm the man and then someone hits a dog with a shovel What?

Yeah, that escalated super quick so hard super super quick my fucking birthday party. I'm trying to slay bitches Second grade and I'm over here fucking crying can't hold it together. Yeah that movie That movie tore me apart You know that I like it Lion King Lion King was hold on rough two movies that made me cry Like super hard one small soldiers When he part when Alan Abernathy sends those toys back to their home on the little boat to gorgon Archer was leading the gorgonites back to gorgon. Yeah

I was ready to cry. I did cry toy story three. Yeah. No, I cry I seriously got into an argument with my mom for that one. I could cry right now thinking about it I got into it. I scream. I had a screaming match with my mom. I left that movie And I called my mom was like ha ha mom. Where are my toys from when I had a fucking buttload of toys And She said oh we got rid of those years ago like what? And she's like Yeah, we threw those out years ago

I had a screaming man. What a bitch. I was so mad. She might be calling me right now to be honest with you If it is oh, it's not it's it's my bitch sister Kidding. She's not a bitch. She's not a bitch um A toy story three. Oh jack frost Oh my god Yo jack frost when landslide comes on. Oh Yeah, it's bad. That one hit me. That's a goody

Wow jack frost that one hit me super super hard Dixie chicks Fleetwood mac who did that stevie nicks stevie nicks. I was rhyming with it Wait, there was people who did there's a bunch of people who did like Different versions of it, but any yeah, well landslide's a classic song classic. Are there any songs that make you cry landslide? Yeah, hard hard like for no reason You know what makes me cry. Goodbye my lover by james blunt. Goodbye my lover. I hate that I don't like that at all. It makes me laugh because of the office. It makes me it makes me think about like someone dying

Uh, no, you know what song he's actually seriously made me cry bohemian rhapsody Grow the fuck up dude that song when you know what it's about. It is fucking hard. It's it's heartbreaking It's not heartbreaking. It's a good song. It is a great song How could you be mad with that you just want to dance and move your shoulder before then you're like cheetah Oh No, I know no then it gets into it and i'm i'm about it. No, but yo, I I'm not even like trying to be funny. I sobbed Sobbing crying to marley and me. Oh, I've never seen marley and me don't

Don't watch it Dude, they you know what it is. It's just a setup They spend the whole movie It's like all this dog's mean and like whatever but then oh, he's kind of cool I'm like, oh, I feel bad for the dog and then before you know it once you're on his team dead Gone he's gone gone and then jennifer annison's in it and I love her and she starts crying and like that is getting me Yeah, because i'm all about jenny. Yeah before I move on with this conversation. You need to finish your dirty, bitch second of all

Marley and me gets me. You know what movie seriously did get me to click Not a good movie, but click it hit me Me right here dude click No bullshit If I watch that movie right now right now I would cry So hard that movie that movie is that movie is ridiculous. It's a bad movie, but it's good. I think I think it's all right It's all right. It's an adam sandler movie, you know, but it it makes it it makes it

It get oh It tugs at the heart strings dude click. What a good one. Yeah, that one's that one's rough any other movies that make you cry I don't know. What if you have you guys cried at movies? Let me guess for a male backdoor sluts nine that made you fucking real upset You know what kind of got me a walk to remember. Hello Well, that's an oldie Oldie a girl was that Mandy Moore. Oh who's the sob hard to uh the notebook I'll fuck that not even a fucking wink in my eye. It's just so cliche and like I get it

I guessed it from the beginning. I was like, let me guess these old people are them. She's like, wait How did you know wait? She was so mad nothing. I'm looking up crying movies Crying Schindler's list is number one, but that's like a serious cry like that's about like the nazis Yeah, I don't I don't know. Here we go. What about like guilty pleasure movies that really like getcha Like that's what I would say click is for me. That's your guilty pleasure. Do we have to watch way You know what I almost cried at like I was like, you know when you get tears in your eyes and like you just take little breaths in like Okay, I don't even know if people know this movie 17 again

17 again with Matthew Perry and Zac Efron. Yeah Wow Yes, never I think you're the only person that one that saw that movie Definitely the only person that cried to that want to know what else I thought it was good I think it's good fear. I don't dude. I don't in that there's a scene where he's at the end and he's like You know, it's that whole switch bodies fucking shit freaky friday for guys. Yeah, exactly Matthew Perry's an asshole. He switches bodies and now he's all sudden. He's a nice guy or whatever, right? So at the end he's trying to get his wife back

Sure, she's divorcing him or some shit like that and he's gives this whole speech as women do with tears in his eyes And it just That's that's a very interesting one anyone else any songs or movies or tv shows like sad ass Sad ass movies saddest movies Oh, come on get back in the closet. Is it which one is that the one isn't that michael more thing? Al Gore Oh, that's my Al Gore impression. That was that was terrible. Oh, yeah, bad Where's hachi this series finale of the office?

I just watched that recently and I was choked up right there. I don't like how they play music the whole time Music just like really does. Um, yeah, like when you have like a I don't I don't know good. Oh, dude up Oh Holy clear your schedule for the rest of the day. You're a mess up told a better love story in like 10 minutes Then any other movie I've ever seen god that one hurt that hit you And you're right there dude It's ridiculous because you go to the movies and you're like oh picks are and fucking happy little cartoon for kids and then you get just this

Dark first 10 minutes are the ones that get you like you said toy story 3 Old people really make me finding Nemo when the mom dies protecting the eggs Man, I don't remember that movie enough. Wow Fair enough. He's right. He's right. He is right. Ramel's always right. He's always right It's pk The p Romel that's what they did with marley me literally like the last minute boom dead and then you're like But that's the filmmaker is probably like, oh, I know it's based off a book, but they were like Wait till you see what's coming

Dude, it's it's so bad That's a good one. The cry remember the credits going up and like there's no music. By the way, it's so dramatic There's no music for the credits. It's just black and like the thing is going and you just hear me It's like where's my dog? I need to hug it. That's a really good one I hate it. I don't know if many other movies that have made you do anything with old people Makes me cry like when old people get hurt or if old people What's that movie? It's a movie where some girl she gets into a car accident In the beginning and then the whole movie is her like outside of her but what frida. No, what the fuck is that?

You know what i'm talking about. She gets into a car accident and then the whole movie is like her Having this like outer body experience like watching everyone react to her as uh as I go or as I stay stay stay with me Stay as I go or some shit like that stay stay but it was recent the same time Yeah, stay before I go or damn. What's that called? Wasn't it with uh shaleen woodley stay with me as you go go where I stay that was the one the fault in the stars Stay with me. Is it stay with me? It's not stay with me. That's a sam smam smam. Good man smith. Uh sad movie stay If I stay

Thank you Fucking I was called a mic. I never saw it. No, it's not. I don't like it. I don't think it's a good movie But there is a scene Where like I said, she's having like an outer body experience. So her fucking body is like in a coma I cried hard for armageddon. Oh my god that end scene Like and I mean like you're embarrassing like You know like Ben Affleck does it for me by the way

Ben Affleck 9 Fair 9 9 3 current ben affleck. I'll say a 9.1. He's fucking sexy. He's good, but Oh my god, the end scene where bruce wilson's spoiler is Saying bye to live tyler and it's I don't want to close my eyes and then all you see is this Her hand on the screen I'm like Like when it comes to like parents and like family

I love you. Yeah, dude parents and family dying. It gets me. Oh every time so bad Every single sacrifice and movies. Come on. Yeah Dude, the movie if I stay She has like an outer body experience. She's looking at her body and then her like grandpa or something sitting there I'd no name guy. I think don't want to disrespect the fellow But he's just there and he puts on a performance He's like if you want to go You can go and I'm just like fuck dude

She's crying. He's crying. I'm crying dead body right there. All right question going off on a bit of a tangent Yeah, you get into a coma Oh, don't like this Do you want your family to pull the plug or to try to let you live until you wake up? Oh, dude, I don't want to live as much as as long as I can yeah, keep me alive Anyone pulls a plug on me haunting you. Oh Hard they're getting the worst fucking we can't afford to I have work Suck a dick. They're getting the worst booby traps. Like I'm literally gonna haunt them until they fucking oh

I'm putting like and not like a nice ghost. Like I mean like 13 ghosts jackal Never seen the movie never seen 13. I remember you talking about it when we were younger. Super bad. Not good I remember you saying it was like terrifying when I was younger. I remember when jeepers creepers was like the scariest shit ever Creepers. Oh wait, would you get those? I thought it was eyes something about eyes, right? No, it did. There's a nice thing in there. Am I crazy? Okay, yeah That movie sucked That will be the second one. I remember scared me because the guy's face looked like a fucking puss

It did And at that point in my time, I had no idea what I was. Did you say it was a hid? Hideous no, I said it scared me because that's what it looked like. Yeah, but why so like so, huh? Let me get your honest opinion here. Okay, uh-oh One to ten vagina Just on looks That's tough because there are different ones out there. They are a lot of different ones

You have your your your sideways macaroons. You have your california closets You know, you have your does a california closet There's just like you open it up and there's a lot in there that you need to move your way through like a lot of fur coats and jackets Okay, you know, um I'm gonna say fur coats in california. I'm gonna say, you know, there's also the the pancakes Should really just look like yeah, just two pancakes slapped together That's definitely one. I'm about it. What about the one that looks like A

Stick of dynamite went off on the inside and blew out the front doors. That's right. That's that's uh, that's a tough one Yeah, like like someone held in a sneeze for too long. Yeah, that's Yeah, exactly, you know I know pk likes this Pk just so you guys know it stands for pussy king, which is what I called romell when he walked in before Yeah But I have learned that he has a girlfriend who he cares for very much so so I literally just made the word up. Well, I didn't make up the word pussy king, but I made up calling him the pussy king

um What other vaginas are there? Uh the ones that literally look like You know like uh like a balloon like just like a bulb at the top and then a little string just coming down I haven't seen those. Yeah, you have I haven't seen those the ones that look like a p at the top And then there's just like a like a string working its way down I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. You know what I'm talking about. I have no idea What about the ones that look like knuckles? Seeing those those are big dude. What about the ones that just look like a straight up

camel's foot It's just like or how about a camel's toe Well, like how that works, right? I like that. Yeah, you know what that term makes sense. Yeah Like the ones that are enough of a bold just to look like he could possibly be a dick Yeah Doesn't do it or it looks like like a manatee's face Yeah, ways. Yeah, like uh, what do they call those? What are the other name sea cows? I think it's what they call manatees. Is it I don't know but the ones that look like uh

Who's the guy in uh star wars that has the two like looks like butts right here. You know what I mean I don't know. You know what I mean The two butts and the very first star wars and what people call a new hope when they're in the cantina And luke pumps into the guys and he says, oh, right. He doesn't like you. I don't like yo, ada. Yeah. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about Great song Do do do do boop boop boop boop. We're getting sued. We're getting we're getting like sidetracked here I just want to point something out before I go back to what we're talking about I watched that movie on tv recently

Which one they switched the song which one? Oh, uh star wars. Yeah, they made it like some like new song Yeah, the guy's playing the flute and it's not the song and I'm like Turn this the fuck off right now. Yeah, this is a fake piece of shit So there are like nine different versions of star wars that are out there. There's like disgusting There's way too much color like yo, I want some like fuzzy. I don't want CGI in my original No, I want some like dumb-looking. I want practical effects that may look like shit, but they're practical Yes, I like it. I hear what you're saying. So wait, hold on. I don't want you to get sidetracked because you're still on

You know, you're on the hot seat one to ten vaginas Is there a 10 again, that's like rating like different people because there's different Vaginas will go average What is average though? What's average for me? That'd be average for you No, I'm saying on average. Oh, if you collectively take them as a group This is the thing

The fact that we need to talk about The differences. Yeah, doesn't it's not good I'm gonna say A 6.2 Because of the whole miracle of life thing up to a 7.1 Oh, I mean, you know, they're they're insane what they do vaginas. How do you like know what they could do? Babies are like this wide A human more than one on some occasion my mom had twins

What a fucking warrior Well, well, she had a c-section for them, but cheater Cheating bitch. What a cheater. I was a big fucking baby and Good for my mom for fucking like getting me out of that. I had only a finger up my ass. Could you imagine? A child 20 pound 20 Jesus this girl's a fucking bowling ball. Oh, I imagine because the placenta weighs

It weighs something too. So 10 pounds 10 pounds. I was a 10 and a half pound baby You were 10 and a half pounds Could you imagine? What's like a good weight? Could you imagine squeezing out? I was a big boy. I don't know where it went. I don't know but Could you imagine squeezing that out? No Dude and like There is some bacteria in the vagina that's used to make some yogurts

Um go on delicious It's definitely not like tricks yogurt, but maybe that Greek shit like like Oikos and I don't know the names Shabbani, I don't do the yogurt. I'm telling you I love shabbani if I found out that they use pussy juice in there I'm signing up. I like to think I'm buying stock There's a woman just like straight up in a farm. She's just scooping out just just sitting there spreading into a box Just leaking over a fucking like strainer. I'm sure she gets paid handsomely by the way. Wouldn't you?

Yeah Six two so you say yeah, but after after the miracle life seven one Right Did you see that movie miracle life the one they make you watch? Yeah That sucked. Oh, yeah, and like I feel like we could have done a better job casting that that set me back In eighth grade. I was like so about discovering women. Yeah, I was like yo pussy is my on my priority list Like number one set me back a solid six months. I did not want anything to do with women at that point in time I needed to recover. Yeah, because

For anyone who hasn't seen this movie, which I don't know if they're like showing it anymore with all this fucking pc Shit like kids. Yeah, it's called youtube go on youtube. I guarantee there's a birthing video on there. You can't see a birth on youtube Maybe you can Jesus christ You know what hornhub's not the place people do pregnant sex Yeah, of course Got it. Would you just gonna give up sex for nine months? People but like they film it

Yeah, that's true. That's crazy. Yeah Yeah, that's a little weird I'm on youtube right now. Can you imagine being the child birthing a human who's like Your mom's doing a porno and you're the baby in there Did she tell you do you tell the kid? There was an actress um Fuck what was her name? Who was the girl that was in uh hocus pocus? But like young girl her parents were porn stars

Yeah, but that's different. She wasn't pregnant and getting banged Bu cocky exactly bu cocky. How do you know your parents didn't have sex when they were pregnant? I'm sure they did have sex. That's disgusting. Mike dad's cock fucking hitting me in the eyes almost I don't think that's how that works. I'm I'm kind of sure that is. I don't think so Kyle Kyle Yeah April I don't even know what but the question man, where did we get?

How did we get here? I don't know. We started talking about vaginas and then you gave me a whole All right, so you vaginas one through ten Vaginas um Not a big vagina guy, you know, I think the youtube is not not surprised to hear that I gotta admit. I don't think they are. No, no, no. I think here's the thing, right? So vaginas and dicks. I'm all about the vagina. I love my dick Is that it that's it I was gonna the floor was yours. That's all I have I love my dick. I love it. No, here's the thing. So like vaginas and dicks just by themselves, right?

Vaginas are just like way more just there's so much more going on And they're like to the eye like I'm all about like I love You know I don't want to say using them that makes that makes it sound bad vaginas are Transformers. There's way more than meets the eye way more way more. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know To me they're they're like, you know It's not good. It's not looking good. I'm telling you right now I've played with only my own dick and I fucking love it

I cannot say that about I'm there's like a there's Like a percentage Like I'm all four vaginas. You know what I mean? Like I'm not saying like super about that. Yeah Like I'm not saying like oh like I don't need some fucking feminist to fucking hit me up and be like, you know Vaginas are beautiful. Like what I'm not saying that they are. I'm just saying if you just draw one on a piece of paper

For a project you're not going to get a good grade. I'm pretty sure most like horror movie monsters Start out as a bad drawing of a vagina You ever see alien vs predator? Yeah, you know the alien when he's like kind of script or when I was gonna say Predator the predator is more like a vagina than the alien because he opens up And then there's just like stuff dripping and like whatever that's the alien. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm just like It's kind of it's kind of like vaginas. That's the most feminist movie in the world alien versus predator posty versus pussy And pussy wins pussy. Oh dude. It wins every time always wins always wins Can't wait not more than a dirty bitch wins. Oh the dirty bitch is always win. It's creeping right now

Always win. It's creeping right now. They're so good Does anyone want a raging bitch? There we go, come on Spread the love spread the love. No, he's got to have a dirty bitch. Oh, they're having dirty bitches. Are you having dirty bitches? Honestly, honestly, they're Dirty bitch is like good. So this is the thing. I hope you don't mind drinking out of my glass Yeah, I want you to do the thing he goes Here's the thing why'd you say it like that because that's alarming because that's a questionable move

And you're drinking out of his glass Here's the thing it's got to be my penis You still haven't given me what I asked you to give. Yeah, I I don't know what's going on Do you know that one time my dad Like this is how stupid I am my dad goes He said uh hand me the radio Right because he because it was plugged in over here. He was working in the garage. He's like bring the radio over here So like I just I guess I wasn't listening to him and I walked over to the radio

And I took the plug out of the back of the radio and then the plug out of the wall and gave him that plug and he was like What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah, my dad had no Jesus no remorse. Did you mix those? Not yet Your dad was dark your dad was a character Oh, yeah, he's something I have never heard noises come from a human like I did your father when I would sleep over your house When we were kids every morning

In the fucking bathroom. Yeah, he would just because he would just spit and just hug My dad would come out of the shower his eyes were just bloodshot. Can we just talk about that poor? What a fucking poor what a poor gentleman. That's a cartoon poor. Kyle you want one too bad We got no more cups We got cups Cheers guys. That's good, right? This is like sacrilegious to Beer guys. This is like against all like podcast rules all the rules. We're breaking

I'm the fuck off. Yeah, get him off the airway. Stop it. Stop it Also, you're not supposed to like I feel like we're just hanging out now and I'm like recording anymore I don't even know what's going on. I don't even know. Are we still recording be just rated a vagina? I didn't really give a rating, but I was not, you know, I'm gonna assume then that Like like yo titties are like way prettier. You know what I mean? I don't know. I do. I don't know because good titties are great bad titties are bad What a bad vaginas like but in the dark, it's the same I think you can tell

Yes, why don't you say that like a Yeah, this sounded like a Batman villain. I hate you can tell No in the dark Good titties are great bad titties are Bad wrong. I wish I had a whiteboard to show you like what I mean by that But like titties with like upper cut that just fall over like napkins I would like a napkin the bubonic plague. You know what I'm talking about You know exactly what the fuck I'm talking about. I'll be honest with you. I'm I'm I'm accepting of all titties

I love and all vaginas, but let me go on the record and say If the vagina is already in front of me It's going down sign sign me up. Let's just say this The hardest working body parts in the world the titties and the vaginas one and two the vagina pushes the kid out The titties need to give them nutrients Okay, that's aggressive I think there's you know, there is nothing I will do in my life that is as good as providing that Oh, not even close zero. Look at what I'm doing right now. I literally every day. What are we doing right now?

I worry if I'm going to live up to someone's standards And I don't yeah, you don't I don't you don't and that titties and vaginas They do On the best on the worst of days. They do better than I do on my best of days Tages are incredible Did titties to titties guys to titties guys gentlemen

Oh What happened full screen? Where are you? Where are you guys at, huh? Oh, man Get the big wigs down here. Oh my god. My neck just cracked dirt wolves on us. Oh my god Do you know what that thing happens to you? I crack my neck all Don't crack. No, no, I do it all the time. You know when you like you have like a Crack in your head and it feels like your head's bleeding

It feels like a hemorrhage. Nope continue. You really don't know. You know, do you guys know what I'm talking about? Really? Kyle yeah, you might want to get that checked out Yeah, it's like you move everything has happened to Kyle Enough I'm done with this Kyle's the voice of reason in there No, it's like you move your head too quickly and something like oh it like hurts in your head And then it just like gets warm. There's a warm sensation. Yeah. No, you definitely need it. You have a it's a tumor Am I dying it might be a tumor That sucks. That's really bad. That sucks really bad. Yeah, I can do some better impressions though like what?

yo Not that bad yo Not that bad. Can you see in there? The voice sucks Fair enough. The voice is not that good. No, no, no, the face is pretty good. The Steve Harvey one wasn't that bad Albright family. Yeah, the Smith family. You just got to talk like you got dentures in. Yeah, that's not that hard This guy's got the biggest veneers I've ever seen in my life. I can do like a two second Barack Obama, okay Good

That's it Yo, you're on fire. Thank you. Give me someone else. I'll try another impression. Oh, man. I would love harry potter Diagonally, okay. No No, nope. All right, that sucked someone else I need to redeem myself. Give me one that I can do. I don't know what you can do exactly Uh do a I can't Put the weed the weed the weed

Because you can't stop the weed I can't yeah, I can't do I love steven a smith so much. It's so dangerous For someone that's not black to do a steven a smith impression. Oh, no, I fucking love. It comes off so borderline races No, I love because he is just a caricature. He's a very good friend of mine. I love that very good friend of mine. LeBron He was flaming loving on bell on twitter the other day surprise I love it. You know what? Let's wrap this the fuck up. Oh my god. Yeah, again That was my girlfriend face having me. I'm in trouble. Oh, she heard what you said She heard what I said about vaginas six two you said

Oh boy, I'm gonna go seven one with the miracle of life. Oh, yeah, obviously the miracle of life gets a solid five I'm in by itself a hundred percent. I'm in trouble. Yeah, can't wait. That's why I got my raging bitches Raging bitch dirt wolf and raging bitch is gonna get me through the day. I don't think it will I hope will and I hope will I skip words now It's such a dick Frank, where can they find you if they want to if they want to talk to you and shit? If not in a dumpster You can find me on twitter at frank underscore alvarez 80

I do a wrestling podcast as I've said before Call this words squared circle jerks at scj pod on twitter then on instagram f alvarez underscore 80 I'm joey has put me in pictures. So go on his page. You just find me there You did a birthday post for me, dude. I do that every year I'm a good friend, dude. I'm just like the dopest friend every year for work. I only not yours and danies I take your your weekends off for my birth your birthdays That's friendship Shut up

Anyway, that is all for this week's episode Uh, you can go to fullscreen.com slash basement yard sign up Use the promo code basement you get uh free month and then it's only six dollars a month after that And we're gonna be doing the extra yard. I don't know what the fuck's gonna go down I I get so fucking pumped for this for the extra yard. I literally I get so fucking pumped. Yeah, I know Yeah, I frank you big big extra yard guy super extra yard big extra yard super extra yard a lot of y'all out of yard Uh, I think I just said olive. I love olives too. Olive garden Terrible place. Don't go there. Don't like olive garden of garden. There's another sponsorship. We're missing out on whatever

Fuck olive just cross them off the list. Uh, good breadsticks solid breadsticks. Everything else garbage. Can't do it. Um, anyway The fuck was I saying? Oh, actually yard. Yeah, there's a extra yard 15 minute segment 15 and 20 minute segment that we do every week on the show Exclusively available on I can't speak any more a lot of dirty bitches. I love the dirty bitches Exclusively available on fullscreen. So when you sign up you get to watch that as well So check that out and that is all and we'll see you guys next time Bye