The Basement Yard - Uber Ratings & Dick Molds

Episode Date: December 19, 2016

On this episode, I have my buddy @GregDybec on to talk about his new book "The Art Of Living Other People's Lives" which is available Jan 3rd in stores & online. We also talk about a lot of other things.. it gets weird. Preorder here:https://www.amazon.com/Art-Living-Other-Peoples-Lives/dp/076245993X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1482170497&sr=8-1&keywords=the+art+of+living+other+peoples+lives My Merch: http://www.themcgeecloset.bigcartel.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

welcome back to the basement yard it is Wednesday December 14th doing this a little fucking early this podcast is sponsored by the McGee closet go on the McGee closet dot big cartel dot com for some merch and if you put in the promo code basement you'll get 10% off and whatever's up there is only gonna be up there until Christmas and then it'll be taken down so get it while you can anyway I am joined by one of my good friends mr. Greg dieback thanks for having me good no problem talking to the Mike Greg god damn it's my first time in the basement I mean Greg used to work together at elite daily when I worked

there became in around the same time as well one of the original 30 I would say oh definitely you were there before I was and I was like yeah I was only there for like a week before you though like you really yeah I was I wasn't there for a long time there was people cycling in and out at the time it was just kind of just to give everyone a background whatever elite daily is this like how would you describe it like a media company it's definitely a media company it's a I mean it's a website it's a digital publisher right digital publisher that's you see when people used to ask me like what is like I don't

really know how to explain yeah but back then we also had no idea what it was yeah it was like a bunch of different shit it was great everyone at the company was like 25 and we were just fucking killing it getting millions of page views every month yeah we were we were like the herpes of social media right all over Facebook yes anytime you told someone I work at elite daily they would just respond all over Facebook yeah so yeah we're like the herpes of social media that's great still works there right now he's the don't know your title managing editor I knew there was managing in there he's a managing

editor at elite daily go check out the site but yeah that fucking place I always tell people at time like it's probably the best nine to five job I'll ever have in my entire life absolutely nothing about it especially back then felt like nine to five it felt like like I was never yeah I was never in a fraternity in college that was the closest thing to being in a frat slash hundred percent already because you know there's girls to co-ed right a co-ed frat right there and it was like a frat house like you literally would walk into this place and there was just people on their laptops like everywhere there was

no real like just grinding yeah just pumping out articles and shit and it was always just fun and fucking around well it was it was the work hard play hard mentality oh yeah for sure so that's it was good times fucking love that place but yeah I got I when I I started working there I was so dumb because that was probably I'm not gonna say it was my first job because I had worked at like pizzerias and stuff but that hiring process is way different you kind of just walk in they're like hey whatever you got a fucking license here deliver pieces they always say I was the first person with a resume that ever came to

elite they definitely didn't look at it but they're like who's white guy with a resume hey it worked out yeah right like the first time I went was because so when the first site first started it was very small and a girl I know used to work there and she hit me up for this college entrepreneurs of the week or whatever and I was like I don't really know if I fit this description because I've been in college for seven minutes and then I dropped out but they wanted to do this this like article on me so I didn't interview with them and just like did it whatever and then she hit me up like a week later she's like oh you

know the the bosses the CEO is where everyone to call them they they really liked you so they want you to come in for like a meeting whatever so I was like all right cool dude I went to this meeting with actually yeah so the first time I went in there was with two of my friends like I just I don't know why like it was the most ghetto shit no shirt and tie or anything no dude I was wearing a t-shirt like I really hope I wasn't wearing sweatpants but I'm not sure honestly but I went in there and I was just kind of just hanging out and I met Johnny and David and they were cool and we like did this video series thing

and it was just like the most unorganized shit but then like a year later or a year and a half later they were blowing up and I remember David hit me up and he's like yo do you want to be an extra in this video will give you $150 and I had like $200 on my bank account so I was like dude I'm down nice yeah so I went in and we shot this thing and then he just asked me he's like yeah would you want to work here like we're trying to build out the video department and I was like fucking yeah thank God and I was hoping he would pay me like $100 a week like that's all I needed you know what I mean I was just like yo whatever and I

was getting paid like way more than that not way more you know insane like it was like 300 bucks a week or some shit but I was only in there like part-time it was great and that's how it started and then we just and then you showed up a week later and that was it company sold and then now we're fucking sitting here and you wrote a book I did which is insane I can actually tell people like not on the internet like an actual book so you can do both you could work online and like hold physical things yeah exactly I can't believe that how long did it take you to write it over a year I'd say I think you worked on it every single day

yeah I had to but what is the fucking like what is the process of writing a book like how do you even just like start I mean I've always been a writer so I just like that's sounds terrible but that's what I do like in my spare time like I will right sit down in front of a computer and write so you know boring nerd but it's a so I had as it's a collection of essays funny essays hopefully people think it's funny but I had some essays written already so things that like I was just constantly crafting and working on and I the goal was to always get a book deal so I just kind of had these you know in my back

pocket was just always writing knew that a day would come where I would try to reach out to an agent and go through the publishing process and it worked out it was just one of those circumstantial things where Elite Daily actually started working with WME and I saw that as like my in I was like oh my god like I need to get in touch with an agent and I just bugged everyone I'm like give me one contact to their books people and everyone's like book like what are you talking about books like we work online like stop yeah I was like just one email and they finally gave it to me and I think they were surprised that I actually had essays

that I was working on so an agent there you know actually liked the work and you know believed in it enough to sign me as a client and then you know after that you kind of put a proposal together so it's just writing a bunch of essays I think I'd like 15,000 words worth of essays that they then you know pitched to publishers and once that goes through and you get a book deal with them then they give you a deadline for when the full manuscript is due so then it's like you just have to write your ass off and that's like a year from the that day or yeah I had a yeah about a year from when I got the book deal to when I had to hand them you know all the essays like I think the minimum was

60,000 words it's like 20 essays Jesus it's a lot of writing dude that sounds like a fucking lot of writing like what kind of quality of life was that year I imagine it would be busy 24-7 that's the thing it's like writing I love it but it's not like glamorous it's it's lonely you know it's just sitting there ignoring my girlfriend who I live with I mean good for her she was obviously supportive you know everyone was but it's funny because there were the days where she would come into the apartment and it's like you're still in sweatpants like I just did the laundry when food chopping cleaned and you're just sitting on your computer in sweatpants and it's like yeah it doesn't look like anything but

this is it like this is I'm writing a book I'm writing a book I have a deadline so yeah you can still find time for that but you know I can't even like I just struggle with I don't know like for me like even when I worked at elite like I'd be sitting there and I'd be editing or whatever I just can't sit there and just I don't know I'm like terrible at that like my I have work ethic but it's just like the consistency like being able to sit there like all right I'm gonna work for two straight hours yeah you know I mean like that's so hard for me the the hardest part was even finding those two hours a lot of times I wouldn't so I just had to train myself to like right on the subway like right on like park benches if I had like a minute so it was weird like I did a lot of writing

on my phone actually so I just look like that like crazy person on the train just like typing in my notes people probably think I'm writing about everyone around me but yeah just had to get did you have to like be grammatical every when you've written or you just had other people just kind of review it and like you don't have to worry too much I mean it should be in the best shape but you you know once you get signed with a publisher you get an editor that like works with you one on one reads over everything there's a separate copy editor that makes sure like every period is right every comma is in the right place so you definitely have a team that helps you out with that well at least that makes me feel better yeah because my I would hand in this thing that'd be

all fucked up now that's yeah people have jobs to to fix that yeah why are you working on a book no I'm not at all I mean you know I wouldn't put it you know completely out of the question but I never put anything out of the question I mean probably not but I think that would be just so awesome just to be able to say like how cool is it to be able to say like you have a published book no it's it's unreal it's like I mean that's what I've wanted for as long as I can't remember so that day comes out January 3rd like going into the store and seeing that on a shelf is gonna be nuts I'm gonna buy like every copy yeah like fucking like rappers yeah exactly yeah just hand them out to me oh my god that's fucking sick how long is the book the book is

so it's paperback it's probably two maybe 240 pages which isn't that long it sounds like a lot I mean it's a good amount yeah 60 something thousand so you had to have a lot of things happen in your life for this to go down so I mean the name of it is the art of living other people's lives yeah why aren't you already why tell everyone the big the big reveal the big reveal you're you're kind of in the on the book oh yeah I'm on the fucking book by the way totally forgot about that so you just said it I'm on it what is it like a testimonial are they called or whatever I tried this product I really liked it yeah it's uh like a blurb this book was great for putting things on top of and not reading no it's sitting uh I know exactly where it is

it's actually on my nightstand the book I said it was on your toilet in there yeah no it was in the toilet I took it out today just so you know but uh it's a blurb so it's like you know on the cover or back cover I don't know where it's gonna be but it's like you know whatever nice thing you said about it and dash your name that's awesome so you're like you're I'm a more likely a published author yeah exactly just like I haven't written a book but I'm fucking on the back even better yeah it's like I didn't do any of the work but I'm on I'm trust me I'm on the fucking thing but uh yeah you so you should have uh you had a lot of things happen here I mean the reason why I brought up the title is because the title alone kind of sets the tone for the book like the art

of living other people's lives first of all how did you even come up with that title and how does that kind of pertain to the essays so that credit I have to give to my agent actually it was uh title of one of the essays uh in the book proposal that I submitted and she she kept saying like this title is really sticking out to me like this is this is a really cool title and we just use that as a temporary title when we pitched it but what was really cool is it's like a lot of the themes kind of go back to that title in a way and a lot of it's like stories about my life uh but also working for the internet and just how weird and obviously you know like just how strange that duality of not just using the internet to you know procrastinate or get your news like most

people do but actually being part of that ecosystem so to say where you know that's something you're creating every day and like I call it being on like the other side of the internet um so it kind of made sense too because especially with my job it's oh it's just constantly figuring out like what do people want like how do I put myself in other people's shoes like what stories are they clicking and why what titles do they like what pictures do they like like what's you know what's funny what's going to go viral so that theme just kind of you know throughout the book as well so what should what should people what kind like what what should people expect if they're going to buy this book like is it a funny book is it this is it that like I know you mentioned that it was funny but like

just kind of what kind of stories are in there yeah or is it one big story like no so they're all separate not chronological chapters yeah just all separate essays like I'm different ages and all of them it's not like a memoir where it like follows my life right you know on this day I was born because like no one gives a shit so it's kind of like a highlight reel a highlight reel yeah a lot of people might hate me after it but no it's uh yeah it's it's funny though and it's it's obviously some absurd stories because you know we all have some of those but for me something I realize I think along the way you know working online is I feel like I was always expected to be this kind of like perfect image of a person or you know if you work online you have to just constantly be on or you

have to be that yeah like Instagram sort of version of yourself yeah and like for me I'm usually like I keep my feelings pretty tight I'm not like an overly emotional person outwardly I don't think so it was cool to write some of these stories where I could really dive into some of my like anxieties insecurities uh talk about some you know mistakes I made not regrets but you know mistakes are just really strange moments where I think you know I learned lessons that helped make me who I am today so can you give me an example yeah let's uh kind of curious because guys just like preface the situation so Greg is not like he's not lying when he says he's not like outwardly emotional or whatever because I remember when the first

time I met you I was like this guy is a hard guy to read I don't really know like what kind of person he is and I forgot I honestly really truly forgot what someone said to me once but they're like oh Greg blah blah blah did someone was like what that guy Greg and I remember asking you that host from Westworld I was like what and then uh yeah we were just having a conversation about I man I wish I knew what the fuck it was but I was like it completely threw me off because you are so just you know you do your thing and you're just kind of not too much out there like me I'm a fucking open book you can tell like right away the kind of person I am uh but with you at least for the you know when I first met you and stuff like that uh I was like what the fuck

so can you give an example of like people are probably wondering like what the hell is this guy yeah I forgot oh man I wish I fucking knew what it was but anyway can you give me the example of something yeah let's let's let's a good example so we were talking about earlier there's one story in there that's funny I went to Brazil for the world cup the last world cup sick which was sick I went to the one before that in South Africa too world cups are amazing definitely recommend it you went to two of them in a row in a row how is that though like is it like I can't even imagine being in a soccer stadium yeah there's nothing like it like is that when they had the fucking horns in South Africa yeah the blue zellas yeah I like every time like I close my eyes I still hear that

sound yeah it's insane I had one my dad fucking hate he would mute the games because I'm like that yeah he's like yeah that was people got a little too excited oh that's like yeah that's just a toy you don't want to give everyone it has to be just a party all week it is it is it's like just imagine like it's it's a giants game on steroids like times like 50 because it's just people from all over the world which is amazing and Brazil was cool and Rio was I mean insane just like the parties the women the beaches like insane just like go there now go there after this but we I went with a friend and we had a couple games in Brasilia which is the capital of Brazil that no one talks about because it's the shittiest place on it's just boring it's not even like like if I step outside I'm

going to die it's just so boring it's a city that they actually just built like from the ground they're like one day we're going to make a new capital in Brazil and they just built it and nothing goes on there but one thing does go on there and that's prostitution apparently it's like of course the prostitution capital like of Brazil so we're staying in this hotel district as they call it and I go out onto the balcony one day and there's like these girls on the corner outside I'm like oh okay some ladies hanging out and then like a car pulls up I'm like oh cool like they must be from the neighborhood they must have some friends and maybe we could meet them and you know car pulls away another one pulls up like they're really popular it's weird because

there's like also families like walking like through them like excuse me like what they're like five-year-old children on the street what time of the day was it maybe like eight p it wasn't even that late okay then they're just going you know going at it all right and then one of them finally gets in a car and just you know she's gone but then she comes back like 30 minutes later and it's like I think I know what's going on here yeah all right quick google it's legal they're like they're like trained they all like learned english before the world cup they're like these are like top of the line these are like if you want a prostitute like you go to brazil these are like the politician hookers of brazil yeah i mean yes because i talk about all the time how

like jerry jones and like all those old fucking nfl owners all probably banging these crazy hookers but probably they probably go to brazilia for it there you go brazil keep a low profile so it's legal there just it's legal yeah that's just yeah i don't know i don't know why might as well make it legal that's the thing and we i got this idea because we were so bored in this town like there's nothing to do i'm like we like we got to make friends with these prostitutes like just friends like i'm not yeah i'm not wasting my money to you know do anything but like just friends like there's no harm so we like creep downstairs we go up to them and i'm like hi like do you want to hang out like what's your name i'm greg and they're just they're so freaked out they're like sex sex

like sex i'm like no no no just like hi like like come upstairs i'll give you like a hundred dollars to watch tv or drink a beer and the whole trip we just like we just we ended up trying to basically save these prostitutes to like because we just felt so bad we're just like creating these stories like they're oh my god like like her mom must be like sick in the hospital and she's like has to like do this from but like no like we're just idiots they're just doing their job it's legal yeah and yeah they wouldn't hang out with us which is so weird and you're just like come on let's play darts or something yeah that just made me realize how judgmental of a person i was it wasn't good i mean dude sometimes i mean that's probably the best route they probably make a killing over

there especially during the world cup it's like dude get the fuck out of here i'm not gonna drink a beer with you they know what's going on yeah some old white dudes gonna come here and give me two thousand american dollars that's fucking sick though i gotta do that one day not the hooker part go save them yeah world cups are amazing but yeah no there's there's a lot of stories about travel um and just do you travel a lot i mean you went to the two world cups so i imagine yeah two world cups um yeah i travel a lot for work too um and yeah just anytime i can i remember when we worked at elite didn't you go to like the bud light place where was that oh whatever usa yeah yeah it was in colorado how was there two and then one in like california it's like a town made out of beer or

some shit yeah it was a shit show it wasn't even worth it there was like it was just wasted like dudes off bud light and all they would serve in the town is like bud light i'm like can i get like a whiskey they're like no but here's this one bud light yeah here's a bud light that was yeah guys if anything else we got bottled we don't not just can't all bottles this is terrible that's dope though um before we move forward here uh we have a sponsor to say a very special one guys it's from a company called adam and eve and uh i know you're like oh what is this what is this like what kind of fucking company is this it's a it's a sex toy company you can get your dildos your vibrators your uh i mean i don't know what kind of shit they probably got all kinds of shit over

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teeth and then you send it back and yeah you're good to go and then they send a dildo back yeah adam and eve should get on that because talk about a holiday gift you make like 10 of those and just shift them out to everyone you know yeah i mean those sound expensive adam and eve you get 50% off right you get right right to work with that shit but yo yeah i might do that i would mold my fist or something yeah i would definitely mold my dick if i had to mold one thing come on your face no that's scary that just reminds me of like could be like a seat cushion or something you remember goosebumps you remember i had those little mini movies yeah remember the the green mask one that's my favorite one that one's terrifying oh my god don't even say it when she's

like because like that's why i wouldn't i wouldn't mold my face because just seeing my own face i'd be like i can't do this wow it's like freaky you know what i mean even those those masks that like looks like a baby's face like those scare me they're terrifying yeah because i'm like it looks too real like and then i think about that movie where she put the mask on and then she couldn't get it off that would actually be a perfect like halloween porno like a guy tries to like mold his dick but then he can't get it off and it like becomes it's like alive or something greg dieback author porn director that's what i'm working on next screenplay in the works next thing right now speaking of next thing are you planning on writing another book i am um i think the best

advice i got i met with an author who was a few steps ahead of me had his book come out is doing well and i said to him like ah like what like now what like what do i do like this thing's about to come out i know the feeling's gonna be like you know i just had this like baby all this hype leading up to it the first week everyone's gonna be like uh cool your books out but then like you know it ends and it's like yeah what do you do so his advice was just keep like promote you know promote where you can but just keep writing like work on new stuff all the time you know as as you're doing this so that's something i'm always doing like i'll go home after this and write is it gonna be like do you ever write like fiction or are you just always basically kind of off your stuff i've i've

dabbled um yeah i would i'm working on a few things now really trying to like feel out what makes the most sense to fully fully pursue uh but fiction is definitely not off the table i love fiction that's probably what i read more than anything so maybe an asshole for not reading that much because like i feel like not i've i've read i honestly front to back have only read maybe five books in my entire life which is bad i mean i've read things you know obviously i honestly read all the time but it's only like specific things that i need to know and i'll die i think that's most people yeah i guess so there's the people out there though like when they read like that audience who reads like they read like that like books are their movies

you know yeah do you read like all the fucking uh game of thrones books and shit no i've never even watched game of thrones what i know wow i know i get i get no pop culture references i don't even know how i still work at holy daily it's like it's terrible i can't believe you've never watched that yeah it's so time consuming you know it's time consuming writing a fucking book career that's time consuming is like yeah you find the time that's fair that's fair that's a challenge i'll accept that it is it is very time consuming that was the first thing that turned me off about it like my friends like you gotta watch the show and this was like when it was season three and i watched the first episode and i was like how many episodes are in this fucking season

they're like i think it was like 10 or some or 13 i was like dude i'm not gonna fucking sit here 13 hours of fucking shit i like no yeah imagine me what do i have six seasons yeah now you have five seasons are you kidding me which is that's a lot of fucking time i'll try i've been saying i i mean i have to start i can't go through life without having seen that so no you can't but if i could do that and write a second book at the same time like yeah i mean you just would never sleep i guess yeah i mean you don't sleep much come on i don't and i it's bad i do you see my face i kind of look like you your face looks like you got it like like you use like the dick mold to make a new face yeah my face is all fucked up i barely especially this week i've been all out of

whack yesterday i for whatever reason i've been waking up wired at four a.m and going to bed at one o'clock that makes no sense what the fuck is going on and but i forced myself to go back to sleep but then i wake up at like i can't not wake up at like eight thirty so i get up and then i just look like you know it doesn't like every every like three days my sister sees me she goes are you sick i'm like no i'm just fucking tired i don't i think it just comes from staring at a fucking screen i was i was gonna say that that's like i can't not do that like i'm just always scrolling through my phone like in bed and then i just like to think of the weirdest or just can't fall asleep yeah and just like maybe you should read a book before bed i really should i actually have a book

i've been reading um you know every so often since what third grade or the one you never returned to the library what's that red fish blue fish he doesn't even know what the fuck you don't even know who wrote that one fish two fish red fish blue fish dr seuss there you know but it was some book called disrupt you i heard it on a podcast it was pretty cool but i'm gonna start reading uh yeah i'll put you right to sleep yeah i actually really enjoy it i because i'm all you know what it is at this point in my life i just always try to add more things to my plate which is fucking dumb i've honestly reached the point where i'm done like i for the longest time especially this past year i would just take things and keep adding them to my plate and just trying to maintain all of them

and i've been doing like a good job as far as like organizing my time and putting you know the proper amount of effort into each thing but now i'm just i've reached the point where i'm like all right you're done dude like you can't do any more things i there's actually a story in my book about that i call it james franco syndrome because i'm the same way and like if you look at james franco and a lot of people don't know like okay he's an actor he has however many movies come out a year he also he's like a professor at like four different like colleges right now like all across the country he like has to fly out like one day every week to like teach a class he was teaching class at nyu he's also i think was attending columbia was attending yell he's written like

how the fuck do you attend both those places yeah he's he's written like three books and this is all simultaneously at the same time he was he was in that play he's directed like two films and i'm the same way it's like i just there's so many creative things i want to explore that i just i just always pack it on the plate so it's it's called james franco syndrome that's what you have yeah i guess you're diagnosed i just always feel like like people used to ask me like back in the day when the only thing i really had going for me was the youtube thing i mean i guess that's still true but so back in the day though when i was like on the come up uh people would ask me like like i had like a hundred thousand subscribers so it was kind of like okay you have this thing

you're not you're not like a fucking millionaire or anything but you i can see the direction you're going but what is the end result what do you want to do and i never had an answer for it because i'm like some days i wake up and i want to do this so i'll do that or if i want to do this then i'll do that you know i i don't i don't like limiting myself because i say it all the time especially on this podcast like a little i'll go on random motivational rants and i really feel like i can do pretty much anything that i really wanted to and that's why i just keep adding shit you know and now just for the sake of i don't have enough hours in the day and i don't have anyone helping me because i refuse that's another problem that i have i've refused to start to delegate sometimes

yeah i gotta like and i'm i'm gonna start uh in 2017 start delegating so that i can for your resolution yeah hopefully yeah i gotta start delegating because that that'll help me like tremendously because i i do like i'm at the point now where i know that it's too much now it's not that it's too much now it's just if i add another thing it's too much because sometimes i'll forget things and i hate doing that you know i like being organized and and being ahead on everything are you a perfectionist when it comes to the things you do yeah and honestly like this video this podcast will go out on monday but the video i put out yesterday hate it i thought it was so bad right so i don't know what what do you think was bad about it i don't watch it before i came

here it's hilarious i but like see and my my mom said the same thing my dad called me he never like calls me about a video called me just to tell me how funny it was and i was just like i hated it like i just i don't know like i filmed it first of all i filmed it like three times because the first time through i was like that was terrible like i need i didn't even get all the way through like i got like through whatever the first couple of whatever and i was just kind of like delete this i need to do it again and then i did it again and i deleted and did it again and when i was editing it after i was done i watched the entire thing and i was like debating about not putting it out because i was just have you ever missed a day yeah i've

missed days before like i i missed a lot too like a year and a half ago i would say no i like before i started my new channel so this uh this is probably over two years ago then because i think i've had my new channel for two years but on the old one i used to miss a lot because i was just like lazy i guess you know what i mean and just spoiled like i was just this fucking kid who was getting hundreds of thousands of views every week i put even if i put something out that was shitty yeah you know which i should i even like i never i've never put out a video that i truly hated this video i just put out on tuesday i think what i could have been better that's what i mean by i hated it because i feel like it could have been better the videos that i

put out when i first started i think are good content but i think they could be like light years better so i hate them okay you know i think that that could be a good quality though or it just shows that evolution it's like the the conor mcgregor fight that we were at everyone said like flawless performance which it looked flawless yeah and i know i was reading something or an interview with him after and he was in the locker room right after the fight watching the tape and just beating himself up like oh my footwork there was so sloppy and it's like you should see the things that no one else is going to see yeah it just felt like bad like i don't know it was just you know so i guess i'm kind of a perfectionist when it comes to that but you know i was just

being nice as the worst video i've ever seen dude i yeah i honestly you know luckily i have friends that will tell me if shit sucks i mean i didn't even ask ask them this time because they don't watch them anymore they're like i don't fucking care because like whatever i like they've all heard it me say all this shit before so it's not like anything new to them but yeah i don't i don't know for some reason i was filming i was just like oh god i don't like this like i've honestly in the past filmed a video edited it and then didn't put anything out because it was already too late at that point because i filmed and i shoot and shit on tuesdays because i'm a fucking idiot but i filmed it edited it and then i'm watching it i'm like i'm not putting this out this is garbage

and i'll just trash it and throw it away and it's just like you just did all that work for hours and i refuse to put shit out that's like garbage you know yeah i mean it could be good i i have a hard time like even flipping open my book now because the publishing process is so long i was 25 when i got the book deal and i just turned 27 now like that's great before you said that i was like he's 30 he's 32 now but yeah i mean it's a long process so obviously i i feel like i've evolved a ton as a writer i don't think any of the stories are bad i think i'm proud of all them but even still like looking back seeing some of the things that i would have done differently i'm not mad at it but like you always see those yeah it's good to see the progression of like where you started

and like how you can be like oh well you know at least i got better at this than that if you waited to put something out until you really thought you were at your peak at that time just never gonna come you'd have nothing yeah i mean it really depends what kind of like person you are some people will just especially people who are in my position they'll just put out dark shit like every three days they'll put out some bullshit or something yeah they're the worst like people ask me on twitter too they're like why don't you put out you know two or three videos a week i'm like first of all wow no fucking shot like are you crazy first of all writing these videos is so like first of all it's very easy for me to to write up a video now like it's just like second nature at this point but

coming up with things that are like just coming up with ideas for videos is like tough it's just like like i could talk about anything forever like and make it funny like i don't think that's like the hard part but uh just coming up with like topics and she was like yeah no way i could do that like three times a week i have a hard time doing it once a week on tuesdays it's like fucking 2 p.m i'm like rolling out of bed yeah i'm like shit what am i doing now because the rest of the week i'm doing all this other shit podcasting and you got a full plate yeah i like it though you know why i did that because i feel like no matter what i'm undeserving for what i'm getting so i have to work hard you know what i mean so i feel better about myself no

no it's uh well first like the deeper this conversation gets i the more i notice your socks which are fire pink with neon hearts on them yeah very very soothing uh yeah but what was i gonna say i said someone about the deeper this conversation gets i'm sorry for throwing you off there it did that's it that's all i got i totally totally no when i was talking about how i feel undeserving right right yeah i have days too where it's like you you feel like if you're not pushing yourself like like what am i doing like i'm lucky to even be here so yeah how could i not be working right now like why am i still like playing battlefield like three hours later and i didn't write anything which is a great fucking game by the way that's actually my uh my sponsor today

battlefield battlefield you go to battlefield dot com put in basement you put in a promo code greg you get 10 off of something i don't know what it is i do that all the time now on the podcast like any type of if any fucking brand name comes up like if you go to their site you go to porch dot com you put in basement you get 10 off your next Porsche enjoy that i wonder if that would be a thing maybe maybe that'd be fucking maybe they'll hear that and just like enact that that'd be great man i have no use for a car though like my car costs like 200 a month it's awesome i i love not having a car yeah i mean i really i really don't need it at all like you're spoiled we get it yeah it's just you know you're spoiled we get it it helps but you know it's not a necessity especially

living in new york city like why the fuck would you know and you you live your bus stop is right outside your apartment you walk outside you get on the bus you get on the train you're chilling but i'm a trooper i still walk i let that pass every day see that's the difference until it gets yeah and then fuck that that's how you write a book oh my god speaking of public transportation too you uber all the time right nowadays yeah not like all the time but you know uber it's it's convenient i think i'm the only person i'll say only person in new york maybe the world and this is in my book too who has seen his uber driver cry wow i had an uber driver cry to me did you do that i didn't do it no i was you just opened them up and you like you went deep i think

i was like hey dude tell me about your dad and he was like oh fuck man this guy he it's it's weird because well it started when i realized that you have a passenger rating on uber yeah i so i'm sorry to cut you off no but my my uh who the fuck told me that some someone told me that that you get a rating as a passenger yeah what and then he showed me how to do it and i looked it up and i had a 4.6 i was like type 4.6 yeah i was like what do they do but now it's up now i'm 4.8 so i had a five i had a solid five at one point what and i found out not even because i like went through the app to look but the the drivers can see the way that you can see their rating they can see your rating right so drivers would pick me up and they'd be like oh my god they treat me like

i was royalty they'd be like oh you're a five star customer like oh my god this is like unbelievable i like made their night i'm like oh yeah cool celebrity in the underground world i run the uber world and they like they just love it was insane and they're like like it's an honor to i've literally been told it's an honor to drive you because i had a five star rating because apparently no one has a five star rating no so that changed uber for me forever because i was like well shit now i have to maintain this five star rating and like i can't just relax in the back of the car i have to like be the most charismatic person of all time i have to like yeah so that's what i started doing and it just like took over my life because i'll uber a lot like probably way too much

and just every car ride like if like i'm not even a mezz fan but like if like my uber driver was wearing a mezz hat like i'd like oh man that game last night like i was just everyone's best friend and it's weird because by doing that these drivers just like really started opening up yeah and i had just this one guy i'll never forget it i was playing basketball where we used to play yeah uh and i got an uber back from the city to Astoria and this guy just like we're like on the bridge mid bridge and he's just like tonight's the night that i tell my wife that i was unfaithful and i'm like hold on one second he initiated it like i was quiet like it was late it was after basketball i was like i think if i just like chill in the back of this uber i could still get

five stars like i'm not you know i don't have the energy right now that was the first thing he said first thing he said to me this guy needed to tell someone he was yeah and i was like oh like i'm sure i'm sure she'll understand like he's like no no i like i'm a terrible man this is like the lowest of low that i've ever been well like i'm unfaithful i'm just like uh like i don't know what to say i in the back of my mind i'm like this guy's gonna give me like two stars now because i don't have any good words of advice just crumbling you're in the back seat word about your fucking uber rating oh no is this gonna affect my rating but that was uh that was powerful i didn't really have much to say back i was just like i mean i think you're doing the right thing

i wish you luck so i mean good luck to that guy i never talked to him again obviously but but yeah after that i had like conspiracy theorists just like going off about like how like reptiles like run the government and i'm like i'm just in the back like agreeing i was like you know what like i couldn't agree more because just give me five stars like i need to keep this rating so that was strange but i found out of course from one driver i got in and he's like like oh you have a really great rating i'm like i know i know you know it's it's hard but you know maintain that five and he's like no no five that's like impossible you have a 4.8 and like i like my my world crumbled good night that was it and uh oh so i don't i don't even know i haven't even looked since then

but don't yeah you shouldn't worry about those things too much yeah i know right you took it way too seriously i mean with great power it comes a great responsibility and you get a 5.0 you gotta really maintain that but um do you tip on uber no there's there's not even an option to tip i mean like in person no that defeats the purpose of uber exactly right so this is bullshit because someone told me right same same person who told me about the uber uh of my this kid frankie that i know so he told me about the uber and i was just like dude i wish he didn't tell me that because i would be so fucking like stressed out in the back of this uber like please just give me a five star uh but i went through a phase where i was like desperate you know i had four six yeah you

gotta get that up so i was like yeah thanks but i'll give him two dollars paid for your rating all right wow and it worked i guess one of those one of those go hard uh parents with a teacher yeah with their dumb kid yeah give me eight merry christmas here's a yeah but benderman franklin's i was just so stressed out about it so i didn't know but i remember when uber first came out there was that option to tip you could put i think so yeah it's like what percent do you want to tip every time so i didn't i don't fucking know what the upgrades or whatever so i i just thought it was going and then he told me no you got a tip i was like what no way i was like do you so i i tip for a while and i was just like i'm not tipping anymore that's and i haven't done

in a while but my rating is chill i'm like a 4a right now i'm pretty sure you check every night i don't i had checked when i checked a while ago dude i was in uber the other night hilarious it was this russian guy i wish i remembered his name but it was cool he was like a nice guy the entire time and we're on the williamsburg bridge and and he's trying to get over and a bus like cuts us off but this guy has no fear like typical russian yeah you know guy he's just like no fear stops the car and the bus is like i'm in the backseat it's i if i stuck my hand out my arm wouldn't be fully extended and i'd be palming the bus like that's how close it was so he's just standing there though not looking at the car not moving his out of the way and staring at the

bus driver and pointing at him he's like what is this guy doing right so i was like yoyo in the backseat like oh god and then he's like you see this guy you don't fucking like he said some shit right and then the bus goes are driving away he goes he i can't do a russian accent but he goes i love this country but the one thing i hate about this country is that i can't get out and beat this motherfucker's head into the concrete that's like the first thing he said that definitely happens all the time in russia holy fuck yeah and i was like where are you from he goes russia i'm like doesn't sound like there's much traffic over there everyone's dead from there he's like no it's no traffic but yeah and then later we were driving we're like in in downtown Manhattan and he uh

stopped the car to give this homeless guy money i was like look at this it's kind of nice savage right what a mystery what a guy i respect uber drivers so much yeah you probably see a lot of drivers they're just they're so wise it's crazy some like that's why i started like i actually started the notes in my phone which is the title of the story it was the uber diaries and it was like like who are these people they're like mystic like i guess when you're just just like mystic driving mythical like oh my god but when you just meet that many people and just get all these different world views i guess you just have some knowledge to spread i don't talk to uber drivers enough honestly you gotta start yeah i do sometimes i get into good conversations

with people but it's it might affect your rating but it could help there's one one predicament i was in was i had the uber the slowest uber driver in the world like he was following the speed limit like 25 miles per hour on like side roads and like 40 on a highway and i had to get to the airport and i was already late um and i had to pee really really bad like top five of my life maybe top three and yeah that's and like you know every guy keeps that count so it's that was serious i can tell you the worst time i've had to shit myself right now see everyone i did shit myself that's how bad did you i have shit myself like how old were you i was like 15 way older than i should have been like couldn't make it though i was playing basketball it was point game what

am i gonna leave no we lost and then i lost the lawyer but this guy i was like i i want to keep my rating this is back when i still you know it was flawless and i'm like but like i want to tell him to hurry up because i'm gonna pee in his uber and that'll give me a zero rating so i'm like excuse me um like maybe a little faster i just like i really have to go to the bathroom and this guy just like whips his head around and just goes off on this rant about like he's from like turkey and this is the only job that he has right now and if he goes over the speed limit he's gonna lose his job and then his family's gonna hate him and like his wife's gonna leave him and he can't provide and it was just this like 10 minute rant like i feel like it was turned around looking at me the

whole time and like still driving yeah and i'm just like oh my god like okay and then he just looks me dead in the eyes and he's like is your pee more important than my family like how did it get to this point like dude i just got a pee please is your pee more important than my family so maybe you're just like yeah maybe that is the guy who destroyed my five star rating i don't know is your pee more important than my family that is one for the ages if that happened to me i would have gotten a tattoo it on my rib now i just i put it in a book same thing yeah immortalize it you know make sure people know about it exactly that's great so that's the kind of shit that's in your book yeah that's some of it but there's there's the life lessons too right there's you know it all

like that story like you like that's too much power to be able to judge someone like that and you shouldn't you know you shouldn't worry about having a flawless like perfection it doesn't exist is there a deeper meaning behind like pretty much all of these uh stories yeah i think so i mean not like forced meaning but i you know for me i just tried to every essay is at least a situation as comical as it may be uh it's still something that you know changed me or taught me some sort of lesson so there's yeah yeah i think anything that's worth writing about has it has to tie together it has to yeah and that just kind of shapes you and mold you and shit yeah i just tried to do it in the most relatable way so you know it's easy to say don't strive to be perfect

that doesn't exist but it's more fun to tell a story about crazy uber drivers and then make that point right exactly that's dope man i really like that i'm proud of you greg that means a lot i mean it's it's our book together your name's on it too everyone uh go pick up joe sanagawa's book the art of living my book a lot i'm not gonna have my own page my face on it wow i mean it could be dedicated to you you don't know in loving memory even though i'm alive wow that would when i get to the point if i have like my like tenth book out i'm totally doing stuff like that like i won't care in loving memory of whoever whatever 1992 to start dedicating it to uber drivers it doesn't matter yeah random javier i had a bus driver once who was like the coolest guy when i was in high school i was taking

a bus home and he had a weird name but it was like a like a really nice happy name like charity or like some shit like like i don't it was like charity or like you know i don't even know it sounds like a stripper's name you know what now that i think about it like an ironic stripper yeah charity charity right but he would always like sing on the bus like on the ps first of all he'd be he get on the he was like a dj he'd be like whose birthday is it and then i would raise my hand he'd buy a happy birthday and then he'd do this whole like dance and shit not like dance but he would like sing and uh man i forgot his name his name was like sunshine or like it was something like positive you know okay sounded like a positive influence on your life and i'm just like oh god

like and and that was cool because just to see someone who's like uh they have a job that not everyone necessarily not desirable for you know but they do it to the best of their ability the other day i went to a store uh i forgot the name of it oh anthropology i was buying something for my mom i actually love that store yeah it's a pretty cool place uh but uh i went in there and the woman behind the cashier was just so like hi how like just like on top of her she's like i thought she did a ton of blow beforehand but when i really think about it i'm like this woman is just doing her job like to the you know what i mean like the best you possibly can you have to you have to respect that you're just interacting with people all day too like yeah yeah like don't be a piece of

shit because you hate your job like yo just fucking do your job that's why people who are like mean to waiters and stuff like that's the worst oh my god i will never in my work in my life be mean to a waiter don't don't do that or anything and and being uh i used to deliver pizzas so i i'm i'm like as like the bottom of the totem pole like you don't even exist yeah like the door opens they don't even see you it's just the floating here's your shit go yeah but it was it was cool because you know i could probably write a book on my experiences doing that honestly there's a lot of cool shit that happened to me when i was see i like jobs like that and i liked working working on a league daily because i would take the train every day and you would always see some

like i literally saw a homeless dude sit up and scream suck my nine inch dick like as loud as he could and the you know what's weird the first thought that popped into my mind was like wow good for him he's got a nine inch dick like i completely disagree with the fact that he was saying it in a train full of people in new york city i was just kind of like so used to it this guy's got his dick yo and he's saying it the whole time staring at this poor little asian woman who was just trying to get home and he's just like she could feel imagine he picked her up that way wow he's probably done it homeless joe homeless joe homeless joe yeah it's possible yeah people have no idea we're talking about no we did a video explaining we did a video with a lead daily that

was his homeless dude named joe who was living two blocks from the office and he was homeless but he would he would uh what's it called panhandle yeah he would panhandle and and make whatever money he did and and uh he would wash his clothes and do his hair he like stole gel from cvs right he like always did his laundry like he if you if he walked into the office you would never know you would be like oh okay we're interviewing someone new right that's so weird i actually wrote about him in the book too yeah yeah i needed like i'm not gonna say like a filler but it was a point where i definitely had writer's block and i was trying to like think back back on stories and i was like wow this was like a crazy story like the stuff this guy did and like how we like ended up meeting him because

people in the office saw him and they're like this rumor started yeah like yeah what is this guy he like looks well dressed but he's panhandling yeah what is that made no sense and he was making so much money yeah it was weird but this guy would pick up chicks all the time and he was homeless so he would stay at their place yeah and like shower do his laundry yeah and he went viral i remember i took a picture with him where he had a sign that said internet sensation yeah i had a sign next to him that said washed up because at the time i was he had a great comeback though no one believed in you but you showed them ready to come back you know now for a minute homeless joe was on top he was he was yeah that he had an absurd number of like women he said what

it was like 258 years or more it was insane 258 years something crazy good lord it was like three a week or i don't know bad at math but that's crazy how do you do that well one charming guy you uh he actually said something in the video where he's like if you can't get laid in in new york city you're a fucking douchebag yeah you're an asshole yeah if you could do it and i was like wow god i'm a fucking asshole yeah i'll tell you how he did it it's when you the sound story here is because i also wrote about this in the book but it's not there's all these themes are adding up yeah but there was a period where uh me and my friend my old my older mate phil who i've known him since kindergarten we grew up across the street together

we both got out of long break uh long relationships and we started studying like pickup artistry and all those techniques and like crazy like the meaner you are to a girl like the more she would like you like nagging them and like all these like weird body language techniques like if you approach a girl like stand facing the door so she feels like you'll leave at any time and she like fights for your attention or if there's a group of like five girls and you see like the one that you're attracted to talk to all her friends before you talk to her because then it's like she should be like wait i'm the one who always gets hits on right like what's going on i don't condone any of that very controversial techniques it's just you know just be nice be

yourself but the biggest takeaway is just not fearing rejection and like homeless joe like if he saw a girl like within three seconds he would just approach them start a conversation and like that's it like someone's gonna say yes which is like really like i mean it's i mean it's gonna i'm gonna say awesome but like it's not at the same time but it's awesome in the sense of like that confidence of just being able to just go up to exactly right away confidence is good yeah just just like i'm not like i'm i consider myself a confident person but i can't like just do that out of nowhere like across the bar like just walk up to someone right away and just do it it's hard mostly because i know how they're like how women are approached

for the most part in bars and it's sort of it's most of the time it's negative so it's kind of like i feel like i'm putting myself at a disadvantage here so i kind of like try to either just stand near so that if i hear something we can engage that way like i try to find something right and know it is now that i'm saying it out loud it sounds weird but like to just wait outside the bathroom no no no no like say anything like if there if there's a group of girls like standing near the bar then i'll just like go toward the bar not go directly to them but stand near there so that maybe there's an off chance that you know it's it's creepy no matter how you put it but i get it i get it what what else do you do i don't know it's tough yeah it's tough thing it's hard

it's hard not to sound fucking weird and do this um we're gonna wrap this up here we've been doing this for an hour look at that beautiful beautiful hitting it uh great thank you for having uh thank you for having me great anytime man come by i'm just so used to saying that good good luck on your book hope it does well yeah it comes out january third right january third and you're on it Greg you're on the back okay we're gonna stop the roll over because people really get confused but your book is out january third in in random stores in a deli yeah you could get it one deli local bow dig no it's uh it's it's it's available for pre-order right now it's actually on sale on amazon even without the code basement uh but yeah you could pre-order it now um or it comes out

january third barns and obel independent bookstores um yeah i don't know that's all i know and there's an event at barns and obel in tribeca on january third so it's like a reading and a signing and all that so that's fucking should be a fun time that's so fucking cool i'm gonna try to come to that definitely come because i'll never experience that ever again probably because you're the only shot that if you come i'll give you a shout out yeah i was gonna say i'm gonna be like yeah i did it my work all me i'm the editor what does your blurb even say i don't even remember it's it's i think they might have edited it really yeah i said something like i i don't read a book but this like i said something like that well like i enjoyed something i think they cut the beginning

off and it now it might just say i enjoyed every minute because i think they're like at first they were like this is funny but then it's like wait like we have this is on a book yeah that makes sense something's on there all right so that's your book uh where can they find you if they want to contact you on social media just at greg diebeck very simple how do you spell diebeck d y b e c the government is a name i don't know anyone else with that name no me either so you're the only guy only one one of a kind uh yep and that's all and thanks for listening you motherfuckers