The Basement Yard - We're Losing Our Jobs

Episode Date: February 21, 2017

On this episode, @AntVino joins me to talk about how the newest dumb technology could ruin our lives. Not really but yeah. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. It is Monday, February 20th, and I'm sitting down with a returning guest, Mr. Anthony DeVino. You know, Joe, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm a little excited. I'm harder than the Cuban Missile Crisis. What? Does that even make sense? Oh God, there's something wrong with you, sir. Zero. I'm still recovering from a quick weekend thing at Atlantic City, my first time ever there at those casinos. Can you relate it to Vegas? Because I feel like I can't do that. No, you know what it is? I don't know if it's all of Jersey or just that area, but it's like just, there's nothing there.

It's just like Vegas in the sense of it's the casinos and then nothing. Looking around, it's just like this is shitty. But I mean, it doesn't come close to Vegas, if that's what you're asking, obviously. We were there because our buddy, Jared Gordon, is an MMA fighter in the CFFC and he was defending his belt. And Dana White, who I think is the president or something of UFC, he was in attendance and he won his fight, defended his title, and then he got a contract to fight in the UFC. So you may see one of our friends on a UFC card soon, who knows? But yeah, that was fucking awesome. First of all, going to see these things in person is way different than watching it on TV.

What's it like? I mean, it was cool. I mean, I can only say that because we were so close. Because I mean, it's a CFFC, so it's not like in a huge arena. Was it packed? It was filled. The place was filled. It was a couple hundred people there, but we were really close. And you could hear everything, like people getting kicked and you're like, fuck dude. But we were screaming our heads off. We were going fucking insane and just drank the entire time and gambled. I actually won 500 bucks, 400 bucks at the blackjack table because with our friends, we usually, for some reason,

do this thing where we're like, all right, fuck it. Everyone put 100 on a collar on roulette playing roulette. Roulette, you heard me? Roulette. And so we all put 100 on red and it hit. So we went fucking crazy and the pit boss basically wanted to kick us out of the casino. So I took that 200 bucks and I played fucking blackjack. And then I, oh, it was 500 then. I won another 400. Nice. So it was fucking nice.

When we went to Vegas, I fucking sucked at blackjack. I was only, it came to a point where I would only play if all our friends took up the table and Ralph told me went to hit. Really? Yeah, I was like, yo, and I just played roulette. I lost a lot of money. There's not that many like rules in blackjack. It's kind of like, it's sort of up to the cards, not really, but you know, I was playing like $30 hands. Like I was going crazy because at night at those tables, they're 15 during the day and then 25 at night. So when I had some money and stuff, I just had like $5 chips and I was like, all right, I'm just going to play $30 hands when I fuck it.

Not bad. Pretty good. Yeah, it was fun. Good times. Can't wait for Vegas. Also when we were leaving, we were driving back from AC and I was in the car. Everyone was like, we were at a rest stop and everyone was in the place buying whatever. And I saw, I came across this video on Twitter and I was just like, this is the fucking most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. And I wanted to tweet about it, but I just, I realized how dumb the internet is sometimes and they just don't understand and they'll probably take it out of context. But so anyway, the video is like this fucking edited fucking video of these five 40, 50 year old women walking into Nordstrom wearing like these Trump shirts that say like haters going to hate.

Trump with like sunglasses on or whatever. Like you, they look like teenagers walking into this place with like some cash in their hand, like waving it around like whatever, like just being fucking bitchy and just go into Nordstrom and go up to a lady at the counter like we would like to cancel our fucking accounts because you guys dropped Ivanka Trump because she had a fucking line of whatever she makes. I don't even know. Did they say why they dropped there? I don't know, man. I don't know if it was because of the business or it's because they don't agree with their political views or whatever or her husband's political views. But they dropped her from Nordstrom and these five fucking women got so mad that they just walked in there like we're going to cancel our accounts. Thank you.

And they were being like rude to the cashier like she's the fucking one who owns this whole company. Like, yeah, no, we're going to cancel it. And then she got on the phone. She was on the phone with someone. I guess a manager or someone like, no, you guys dropped Ivanka. So we're out. Ivanka has no fucking idea who you five idiots are nor do like, listen, this is why I didn't tweet about it because I realized it's political and like there's no winning when you talk about politics. That's why I don't talk about it because first of all, I don't really have any real opinions because I don't do enough research that as much as I should to get to have a real opinion.

But I don't talk about it anyway. And even if I did have all the information, I still want to talk about it because there's no winning. You can't convince. It's like trying to tell people that this person is a better music artist than this person. It's like, you're not going to win. There's no winning anyway. Political views aside, everyone has to realize how fucking dumb this is, how boring is your life that you and your little band of five housewives are going to leave your kids with some nanny. And then go to Nordstrom with fucking $200 in your hand, waving it around.

And then like, I'm going to close my account. I spent cash here. Now you lost me as a customer. That's hysterical. And they were being rude to the cashier. That was the thing that bothered me the most. It wasn't a fixed video. It was really like somebody's recording to no way.

That's stupid. I wish the cashier was like, listen, this isn't my store. But this is a billion dollar company and no one gives a fuck about you five bitches. Like fuck you, seriously. It's so dumb. Just, oh my God. Even if you're like pro-Trump and whatever, you support all his political views, whatever. You're prerogative.

That's fine. And if you're like, you just have to see how dumb that is though. I'm going to cancel my accounts with this place. You dropped her. That's so stupid. They were clearly doing it just for the attention and the video on social media. They probably got a lot of views. Yeah man, we're so cool.

That's the thing though. That's why they did it. Look how cool I am. I did this. We'll just go open our account again next week. They won't know. That just drove me insane. How boring does your life have to be to do something like this?

How old did they look? They were like 50. Yeah, they were grown adults acting like children. That's so stupid. Oh you dropped her. I'm fucking out. Good. Next time call.

No, we wouldn't have made for a good video. That's so stupid. It's just attention. It's an attention thing. Are you not past this? This is in high school? What the fuck are you doing this for? It's so dumb.

Our kids are gonna love us for this. Politics makes people insane. Insanely dumb. I just don't understand. It's really crazy. I was having this conversation with someone the other day. You know when you're younger and you hear about adults and older people? You just assume

those are people that know more than me and better than me. As I get older, I start to realize that's not true at all. We know people our age who are fucking stupid. When they get older, what are they gonna be?

Fucking smart all of a sudden? No, they're gonna be old people who are dumb. And just immature. And they never grew up. And that's all these people are. At one point in time, you have to stop. Like, nah, I'm not gonna get into it.

But yeah, you're right, I understand. It's just insane, man. People really lost their minds with this election. It's out of control. Anyway, fucking jeez. Two sponsors today on The Basement Yard.

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Stamps.com, never go to the post office again. Which, you know, I didn't even realize while I was reading that, but that kind of relates to our next topic and I wish I did the other one before that. But anyway. The next one, no stranger to the Basement yard.

It's Blue Apron. Boom! If you listen to this podcast, you know all about this shit and if you haven't gotten it yet get on it, you fucking idiot. And if you five bitches from before are listening, sign up for Blue Apron.

I don't think Ivanka Trump does fucking business with them, but I'm sure they'd keep her on or something. Fucking no, I'm trying to make shit up anyway. But anyway, if you don't know what Stamps.com is basically, I mean, fuck, shit! If you don't know what Blue Apron is basically it's a service

that, um, you know, you sign up for and then you get food delivered to your front door. I can't bring the copy up so I'm gonna freestyle this one because my phone's not working but anyway, here we go. Blue Apron, right? You sign up food comes to your front door.

Not only is it pre-portioned, but it comes with instructions on how to make the meal. Okay? I was making all kinds of shit. Enchiladas. Wow. Tacos. Enchiladas. Yeah. I don't even know what the fucking enchilada looks like. It looks good, I'll tell you that. Good for you.

My mom is obsessed with this. I say this every time, but she is. You guys have a full participation. She actually asked about it the other day because we haven't gotten in a while and I thought that once I'd start doing these sponsorships they'd start rolling it again. I was wrong. Blue Apron, if you're listening sign me the fuck up. But yeah,

it's good, especially Valentine's Day just passed but it would have been cool for that. But it's a nice thing if you have a girlfriend or something, you want a surpriseer. You get this package in the mail it's got all this food in it, pre-portioned and directions on how to make everything so not only do you get a nice meal but you take that knowledge with you for the rest of your life

and you can actually become a cook. You know, I've always wanted to use Blue Apron when I haven't got around to it but I cook. I like to cook. I think I'm a good cook. I always tell myself like I'm eventually going to get into cooking. This is like a good way to kind of start because you can pretend like

or if you freestyle it you know you learn new things but guess what if I freestyle anything I'll just fucking forget it the next time so fuck that. But I do cook pretty damn well. I'm shocked at myself. So if you guys want to sign up for Blue Apron go to blueapron.com

slash basement you get your first three meals free with free shipping free shipping and it's affordable. So go to blueapron.com slash basement Blue Apron. Damn I forgot the slogan. Blue Apron. A better way to cook?

I think that's it. Hopefully I didn't fuck that up too much. A better way to cook? But anyway what we were talking about before with stamps.com are they're like they're a thing. It was in the copy. It was bolded. So they wanted me to say it

stamps.com I never go to the post office again. That's their shit apparently. Put them out of business. First of all by the way I actually do use stamps.com all the fucking time for the McGee closet stuff which I haven't made new designs yet but I will in the future when I

move into this new place and I have more free time but I use them all the fucking time. They're not lying. What do you order? No I don't order anything. I print my things so I can mail people stuff. Anyway yeah with that

with that saying never go to the post office again it just kind of relates to what we're talking about here because DeVino found this thing on Amazon can you explain it? Alright so I was on Amazon earlier and this was like a little while ago and I just scrolled through things because I have Amazon Prime

I like to order stuff and I came across this thing Thank you. So Amazon has these things called Dash Buttons Alright Like I said I accidentally came up on it and I was like this has got to be the most

laziest shit I've ever seen in my life Technically what it is is basically what it is technically Are you going to explain the fucking idiot? Basically what it is is just it looks like a little pill like probably like three inches long Yeah it looks like a car key

and it has a product on it and the ones I was looking at said Tide Colgate Dorito it was dog food and what you do is what it is is a button that has like a wifi on it and it's connected to your phone, your computer

that what is that speaker thing that Amazon has that shit that orders things automatically Alexa? and it's programmed to and what you do is you press the button and it orders it for you right away whatever the product is this pill could be Tide Doritos

click it, great it's coming to your house what the fuck? it's like a laziness thing it's like hey guess what don't ever go to the supermarket again gain weight you know like press the fucking button how do you teach your kids to fucking do things when all you have to do is fucking press a button that's just gonna cause chaos

yeah I mean I feel like we're just creating things so that we don't have to see each other anymore exactly everyone was just staying in their homes and not talking to anyone the advertisement was the Tide button was on the washing machine and it's like oh look I'm gonna go

oh click ordered it'll be here tomorrow that is kinda listen it's kinda cool I understand the innovation that like oh let's make everything easier but I mean there's a means to an end it's gonna be bored off Amazon that's cool too but

yo like that's bad now it's getting to the point where you don't have to go shopping for anything that's kind of insane I just like the reason why I'm saying this kind of release is Sam's.com it's like never go to the supermarket again but like how many jobs does that kind of take away a lot that's what I was gonna say too

the people who have like what are they their minimum wage jobs you know kids that are like in high school they need a summer job or something they're not gonna have it no more because of that just like the tolls would easy pass pretty soon they're not gonna have jobs these people are gonna be fucked

soon because they easy pass and fucking push buttons what if it's like laying around and you hit it by accident or something no what if you have like four kids and they want to be assholes and then oh beep beep beep are they clicking away and they just play with it oh mommy mommy look look look

and then you have fucking 52 tied bottles showing up in your house you know what if like you drop it in water and I think spaz is out you brought a thousand fucking Doritos exactly like there has to be a confirmation but it just showed click the button it orders automatically go straight to your phone it orders

it and that's it that's crazy there's gotta be some sort of like confirmation there I don't you know what it is I didn't fucking order this I heard the stories about the Alexa thing that speaker where it hears commercials and it says order this now

and stop I heard that it picks it up and it ordered things to people's houses it was it was online I don't fuck with that because I also heard that Alexa's 24 7 recording conversations everything and there was like a like a murder

or something that happened and they're trying to use the Alexa as evidence so they could play back the conversation like what the fuck you know what in a way that have you not seen iRobot with Will Smith they all turn red in the chest

and they start fucking killing humans it's gonna happen one day you know what I'm saying that's why we gotta get bows yeah wait till Alexa can you can you buy some more fucking detergent and then all sudden gas starts leaking out of it and everyone fucking falls asleep smoke how do you know that things not leaking

carbon monoxide into the air you can't tell you can't smell it I don't trust that shit I won't buy the Alexa and this stupid button shit it's just it's gonna be a laziness thing and you're not gonna move from your house anymore do you know there was a first of all this

self-checkout right which I'm gonna get to what I was gonna say in a second but self-checkout in general is you know insane so Bill Burr right I want his stand up so he was talking about self-checkout and it was so true and I'm not gonna try and tell this

joke and not that it's a joke cause it's serious but it's he was saying how it's like the balls on these people like listen you come into my store you take the shit off the rack you ring it up and then you get the fuck out and then no one helps you or you know what I mean

like there's no why is anyone working there then like it's CVS now in our fucking neighborhood there is one cashier and no one I don't even know if that's a cashier anymore but there's like fucking nine self-checkouts everyone has to check to bring their own shit a lot of people probably

lost jobs that they probably cut back jobs and that's pretty fucked up in my opinion why does CVS need to cut jobs you have everything in your store everyone goes there the fuck exactly like let the people have a job let them work now you know everything is gonna be so how do you say it so into

technology that pretty soon no one's gonna work anyway it's just gonna be walking to the store there's gonna be one manager maybe four workers all together not even there's gonna be some fucking robot that's armed and then if you try to steal it's gonna shoot you in the knee no warning

just shoot them incapacitate them shoot them in the knee or fucking tase them who knows there's gonna be one robot rolling around the store that can see through fucking aisles you can see through walls so you can't like hide behind the candy section and start

stuffing shit in your pocket it's gonna see you it's got x-ray vision and then you're gonna get a fucking shot to the knee or beanbag shot those hurt those are terrible yeah those are those are good ones yeah that's what's gonna happen though I guarantee it once they start making robots because I know

Japan's gonna start that shit I see if they have it because they're like the first with the shit they they're the ones who create those like life-like dolls that you could fuck in the mouth and shit I actually seen a video of them they built a robot and the robot was walking in the woods without anybody controlling it

people were walking around it and they were um they would they would make the robot pick something up and then the guy was knocking it out of his hand to see how the robot would react like would he get mad would he get upset or would he just pick it up and carry on and they were like bullying it and the robot

wasn't doing anything like back towards them from what I can see that nobody was was messing around like nobody was controlling this thing it had a brain like what a brain they um yeah they were pushing it they were shoving it did they open the door

no they looked American the dude idiots them they were opening a door they were opening doors by themselves but the cool part was is they were bullying it to see if it would retaliate and it didn't it was just like taking let me get you know what it was doing in their fucking mind it was like yeah yeah I'm taking notes

wait till you sleep you dumb bitch I'm gonna fucking kill you guys dumb white fuck yeah wait till the day comes your first on my list let's give it one more test give a shove fucking rear naked choke out dead and then your neck is broken yeah forget it I'm not fucking

that dude I would like if you asked me right now to push a robot never in a million years no definitely it's gonna remember you listen I don't even kick vending machines I'm afraid they could come to life you know I don't fuck with technology like that I think give it another 25 years

there's gonna be shit happening I can't I can't I can't no more horsepower on cars just speed of light you know what I do you know what I do agree with with the iRobot movie whenever I think about technology I always think about that movie they hit it right on the head

there's gonna be cool technology everything's gonna look cool but the fucking robots are gonna turn red on the inside and just start fucking leveling what about the whole cars driving by themselves that's what I was gonna say cars do drive by themselves right the Tesla doesn't it it drives by itself

oh take a nap dead but that I was gonna say that was the one thing that I kind of agree with not that the cars drive themselves but everyone's like going the same speed like the cars are like kind of an autopilot or whatever because then there would never be any traffic Joey when I had the infinity

first of all sorry I'm sorry I don't know if I'm the only one who does this but when I'm sitting in traffic I have that moment where I'm like how the fuck does traffic even beat how does it happen car accidents but like no people are idiots they can't

but like I don't understand even if there's not an accident how is there traffic because there's so many cars just keep driving if there's no one ahead of you go some people are idiots they don't know how to drive or like I said car accident I have that

I have that fucking moment when I'm sitting in traffic and I'm like how does this happen it's cops that are assholes because they take up like another fucking lane for no reason when there's an accident so people have to be forced to get into one lane these fucking assholes like oh fuck the other people behind you

well let's worry about this accident that's cleared up but they're still taking that extra lane because they're fucking prick I'm sorry Jesus Christ one of our friends is a cop I'm sorry I'm the other day but can I get back to this? I had an infinity and when you go into

cruise control the car if you're going 60 would pick up another car say like maybe like 20 feet ahead of you and slow down automatically I thought and then when the car picked up speed or switch lanes your car picked up speed again

I thought that was the craziest thing I've ever seen to driving on your own I sold that car stupid but imagine the Tesla drives itself oh yes sir take it easy take a nap we got it from here and then you wake up in the fucking hospital what happened oh your car crashed

listen if you're taking a nap behind the wheel you're a fucking psycho yeah well I wouldn't trust that shit just like one obviously the new Mercedes oh it stops by itself suck my dick it stops by itself if there's a car in front of you like I'm hitting the brake no no no just wait you're dead

all this innovation another thing you know Amazon these mother fuckers man they had this thing I think it's Amazon with the store where you could just walk in grab stuff off the shelf and then walk the fuck out no way yes

and it all gets charged to your Amazon account where is that I don't know if it exists yet but I saw either a commercial or just something did like an advertisement for it but it's like you literally just walk into this mother fucker and start taking out bananas

kale other stuff that I don't buy because I'm not healthy anymore did they do the drone thing yet do you remember that yeah we're gonna have drones drop off packages not it can't happen in a story someone's stealing that shit but like no you can't have that dude texas maybe

no they're nice first of all we can't have drones flying around I can't even technically I can't fly my drone in our neighborhood because I'm too close to a fucking airport yeah imagine if there was fucking dude I'm sorry I just farted and I can tell already dude I've been ripping ass I'm so happy you haven't been this is disgusting I hope not

no it's really bad it smells like low tide I'm not even kidding well that's bad you know what it smells like like five dead people wash on up to the shore and it was low tide come on right my my fart right now smell like expired baby food yeah dude I'm afraid to open my mouth

I'm glad it hasn't traveled over here you're very I'm telling you right now it's gonna hit you eventually and I got more in me there's more air in here I can feel it I've been letting them go bro no dude war you'll honestly my eyes are tearing Middle Earth I wish I was kidding too because this is fucking terrible over here

you know what happens because when I'm in AC or when I'm away I don't I forget to eat because like I just like having fun and I just like like you know at the casino or hanging out with your friends whatever and I don't like eat like I'm not a big fan of eating but I just

forget to eat and then when I start to eat then I just like my body's all fucked up well lately I've been eating a lot of granola so I haven't been doing very well on the toilet so I guess I'm just letting them rip and it's just hey hey dude honestly this this room is now worse

you got the door closed and no windows open yeah a whole bunch of foam yeah it's sucking it in I ruin this I ruin this whole thing anyway this Amazon store you you can literally walk in and I don't know how what kind of technology they're using but you just walk in you take stuff off the shelf

put it in your bag and then you walk out there's no checkout there's no you know beeping things or whatever the fuck that's called how do they know then I don't know it's just like they're all kind of wire I don't know it's I don't fucking you have to scan something with

your phone I'm sure no scanning that was the word I said beeping what the fuck is wrong with me but my whole thing was they just charge you an Amazon account my whole thing was what if I didn't I don't have an Amazon account there's no one there really to stop me you probably have to walk in the store and show proof of having Amazon

that's not what the advertisement look like prime and also what if my my card declines then I just don't pay for it I would run my bills up just so I could get groceries that's like buying a whole bunch of things and then filing bankruptcy after there you go that's crazy

right but uh yeah everyone's losing jobs yeah wow I mean I don't I'm against that like everyone should work everyone should have the opportunity to work no obviously we but like minimum wage jobs like that shouldn't be getting cut

you know I guess just being a fucking cash here is an outdated thing I don't know it's so this is crazy because now we're getting rid of the cashiers at the fucking supermarket because you you I don't know I don't know it's tough man because they're I don't think they're gonna get rid of the cashiers

at the supermarket yeah unless all these buttons start taking off which I can't see happening because like there's just too much you saw the buttons like tied I know V8 icebreakers icebreakers

stop it and they're like the popular ones are 499 who the fuck likes icebreakers so much that they need them on demand lately I've been feeding for them I'm not gonna lie to you but how many do you need you get one I spread I've had a fucking icebreaker maybe

like twice a year who the fuck needs a button I'm more than like oh we're running low on icebreakers get the fucking button oh my god they have a cafe Bustelo one I don't even know what the fuck that is that's good coffee Joey oh my god that's crazy we need coffee on demand

we can't just walk into our fucking kitchen and make it anymore Joey this is glad gladware but like how do you know what you're buying Sharman gladware I'm looking at it all right now Tupperware on demand this now over 250 brands are you kidding so this thing blew up basically is what you're saying this is dumb is what it is

this is not bounty wow Fiji water did I say that I thought I got it I thought I said it wrong Fiji water Folgers Gatorade Red Bull this is all dumb even a cheez-its dude who needs these things on demand

oatmeal well they even have beef jerky god that's that ice breakers I'm not gonna lie to you Joey you act like I won't buy one of these right now just to see what it's all about honestly you should get one

you should get the ice breakers one because that's so dumb I love ice breakers though Joey birds bees oh no I'm faithful to the cocoa butter stuff that looks like Elmer's glue you like that you have the Elmer's glue stick it makes my lips peel so I use um

what is it the egg one I don't know what the fuck that is I know what you're talking about well they came out in chapstick form now so I could not look like a girl when I'm putting that shirt on my lips so I've been using that blueberry flavored because I love it

I'm not a huge chapstick guy I mean I need it my lips get chapped as fuck no I need that you know those kids in elementary school that their lips get so chapped and they get that red ring around their mouth I'm like come on figure it out bud Jesus Christ look at your lips how do you let it get that bad

there was a point where I was putting when I was younger I'd put alcohol on my face when I'd break out and um rub an alcohol it would dry your face out but after a while your face started getting so dry it started like rashing

and I had like at one point around my eyes my mouth like it was red and it was raw so if you like touched it it hurt so bad I was like yo I'm a fucking idiot that'll never happen again yeah you're pouring rubbing alcohol on your fucking face I didn't know that it's like acid

you're pouring it on your eyes no you put it on a nice little pad and you rub it in the places that you need to rub it in you know it's crazy Amazon I would never in my life what's the weirdest thing you used to jerk off damn man

I want to lie to you but I just sometimes just my hand sometimes I just let it go all the way onto my belly oh my god I meant like what substance I don't use substance raw

straight skin on skin or maybe a tissue you never a tissue you put a tissue in between your hand and your dick yeah why what do you use lotion you gotta clean up when you're done I don't use lotion

carry on with the rest of your fucking day come on dude wait you put a tissue that's like adds friction a soft tissue not fucking bounty dude what's the softest it's still friction it's a fucking tissue

it's soft it's like it's not like what you think like the fucking tissues that we get at school it used to get at school it's soft tissues you put a couple three of them you put it you know wrapping around nicely you jerk it off

stop a tissue you're the only fucking person I know what do you jerk off into I'm not saying that what do you jerk off into my hand so you're trying to tell me a tissue is worse

what the fuck yeah are you kidding it's a soft tissue compared to your hand are you kidding what about saliva you want me to spit on my hand and fucking beat off you are crazy there's a lot of bad things in my mouth

and you put it on your dick and you wake up with a rash what's the difference between that and getting blown you might as well blow yourself listen I don't have a flexibility but in a different life that's crazy I don't even use like a lotion nah I've never done that too

but I have you know so what do you do you catch it with the other hand or you just let it go everywhere I catch it in the air like the golden smidge are you serious no man you play a game you fucking you do it somewhere where you can clean it up

usually I take a shower right after though oh I usually like one time I beat off in the shower I used to do that when I was younger or on the toilet you beat off right into the toilet I've never done that how do I take a dump and jerk off at the same time you don't take a dump you strictly sit on the toilet just a masturbate

so what do you do I lay down alright now with nothing say you're in your bed and you just would you let it that shit fly up in the air and hit yourself sometimes not in the fucking face I'm not shooting fucking at 90 miles an hour

so I'm gonna walk into your room and see shit on the walls what kind of fucking power do you think my dick has that wasn't there last week that's crazy no I'm very hygienic I'm a germaphobe I wash my hands like 40 times a day I use hand sanitizer before I eat breakfast

I don't do that because I heard that if you use too much hand sanitizer that it gets rid of the natural oils on your hand so what happens so then you get your susceptible to bacteria more are you fucking me alright so I use hand sanitizer like maybe once or twice a day I wash my hands before

I eat anything every single time and I also wash my hands just periodically because I feel like oh I've accumulated some germs so you're weird I'm becoming a little more OCD with things I see some things out of place and I'll just straighten them

or the fence right outside here you have to open and close the fence to get to my apartment and if I forget to shut it I'll get to my door and walk all the way back just to shut it I don't know why I don't know why I do this

before I leave my house I check to make sure the stove is off and when I lock the door sometimes I have to like go back home because I think I didn't lock it that's it that's all I do I don't know man I'm not a mutant like you I just burped

it's guys burping I'm over here farting dead body smells I don't know man I'm gonna buy one of these push ones I'm so excited you know what I'm gonna buy I'll fucking box the tissues and try your little dumb jerk off method you gotta buy the soft ones

this podcast always somehow turns into jerking off or just sexual in general you think people are sick of it they're like yo I want to hear more about these tissues I don't know man but honestly I don't think anyone else jerks off with tissues

maybe onto tissues I hope people come back at you and say I jerk off with tissues on social media tweet at me so I can retweet everything I'll be honest more times than not I'll like you know use a little saliva no I would not you sliver you fuck

what's the difference first of all spit on your hand and jerk yeah what's wrong with that I don't know man I'll let her spit on it and then fucking what's the difference between your mouth and her mouth your mouth could be dirtier why you could have eaten something

a steak and now the oil is on your hands first of all you're not jerking off like in the middle of your meal alright after your mouth doesn't hold so you're trying to tell me your mouth doesn't hold bacteria of course it does so now spit the bacteria onto your hand and then fucking

masturbate yes weird you get blown Divino that's what do you mean she's got it submerged in her mouth you're gonna yell at me I'm just saying you make it seem like this is insane I don't know I wouldn't spit on my hand and beat off just go home

get three soft tissues you go home and spit into that fucking hand no one's home right now so I might spit in that hand like a man I'm not pussy you don't have to like spit like nice slimy right good for you bro

I'm proud it feels good it's a game changer dude a game changer my dick it's a game changer for you I'm not spitting it's weird skin on skin use three soft tissues you beat off into the tissues you throw them away and you carry on with the rest of your day listen you can keep your tissues

please go home and try Joe listen Divino you can keep your tissues in front of you just do me a favor skin on skin I used to sometimes I used to lay on the floor I used to shoot up and onto my belly button first of all you would lay on your floor you have a bed sometimes run the water

in the bathroom why wouldn't you jerk off in your room like a normal person I remember the first time I ever jerked off and I was like oh my god it felt so good when I was a virgin back then I was in junior high school I would hope you're a virgin the first time you jerk off

who the fuck has sex and then jerks off what if I was a virgin right now I believe it can you imagine having sex and then discovering jerking off that's terrible that's backwards that's like taking a few steps back I enjoy sex way too much whatever

let me get it you fucking psycho there's nothing wrong with that I bet more people will spit in their hand you fucking do your little tissue shit I don't think people are gonna spit in their own hand and jerk off you don't? I don't think so first of all we're gonna hit the group chat right after this

and ask everyone else but we're also guys please tweet me alright even girls sometimes you gotta use a little you know? don't not girls because they're gonna be like yeah I spit into my hand and beat them off no no no that's fine for themselves

girls are gonna fucking spit in their hand and rub what's wrong with that girls don't spit in their hand and then fucking rub their pee yes they do they have to you're crazy

I don't know guys spit on their hands let me know I would like to know I would fucking love to know now I think lotion is number one I think so too first of all using too much lotion I don't know how good that is for your dick skin that's why I don't do that

soft dick by the way I get a lot of compliments on having soft dick skin I was just about to agree with you I don't touch your dick 3 soft tissues is gonna be the winner no it's not I'm telling you right now that is the most unusual

the soft ones what do you call the soft tissues what do they call? Charmin? Charmin Ultra? that's not tissues yes it is that sounds like it's a chemical

chemical the soft box of tissues the puffs the puff whatever you get 3 of those and you fucking come into it guys

so you can just tweet me the word tissues or spit and we want to know tweet me too because I want to argue an overwhelming amount of spit not by girls

no one's gonna say tissues and just to clarify here we're not saying jerk off into tissues because that's normal it's bold you put it on you come into it too it's like you wrap it around there's no way for the semen to escape what we're arguing

you take a tissue and you put it in your hand and then you wrap your dick around it and jerk off first of all it's tissues they're not ripping what do you jerk off at one mile per hour would I use it fucking small tissues oh

you farted? come on man you couldn't like turn and point it oh god that smells like garbage listen if you fire at me I'm firing back at you I'll sit in your lap and fart I'm sitting alright Jesus this went off the rails huh

it was good I don't know what the fuck to call this episode who the hell knows man my social security number we should call it like we have no jobs we're losing jobs alright anyway we'll figure it out

anyway Divina where can they find you if they want to contact you everything that I have is antmino twitter antvino oh and please tweet and hashtag please help Ahmed I'm begging you all of you to do that

oh god alright that's all for this week's episode of basement yard tell your friends about it thanks for tuning in every week and out of there shit I don't know thanks for listening you mother fuckers