The Basement Yard - What Is Going On?!

Episode Date: October 3, 2017

On this episode, I need sleep. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the Basement Yard, um, it's just me today. Just me. Uh, full screens over. So that's that. It was a good time. It was a good run. I'm going to get into that later, but I'm not going to talk about it now. Um, anyway, I just got back from the dog park. My dog Charlie is currently passed out on the floor right next to me over here farting. He farts like a human. That's a real thing. He like stretches in the morning like a cat, like he puts his arms down and his ass up and you, all you hear is like, okay, this guy's farting and it's disgusting. It smells like dead rats and burnt children and shit. Like it's bad. I'm not kidding. It's really terrible. But anyway, I just brought him to the

dog park and while I was standing out there, if you follow me on Instagram and you see it, by the way, if you don't follow me on Instagram, go follow me quick plug at Joe Sanagato. Go follow me. I don't have enough followers guys. I don't feel, I need a false sense of self. Please go. Anyway, um, God, this is going to go off the rails. I haven't done a podcast by myself in a long time, but while I was out there, I'm just like in the dog park, whatever, just hanging out. And then this woman walks by and my dog is barking at her and I'm like, why is he flipping out at this woman? She's walking a fucking cat. What? She's walking a cat on a leash. Is anyone following? Like what is going on? Does it not shit in the litter box? Like I thought that's the only reason

people get cats just because it's like convenient. Like I want a pet, but I don't want to take care of a pet. So I'll just get a fucking cat. Why else would you get a cat realistically? Like I have no idea how that internet joke started, not internet joke, but like, you know, it's internet culture to be like, oh my God, cats love cats. They're the best. I don't know where that came from because cats are fucking awful. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but compared to dogs, they're garbage. They're not fun. They don't like play. They hide and shit. You know what I mean? You open up your cabinet one day. It's like behind the cereal. You're like, oh my God, fucking Jesus. What is going on? Or, you know, they jump 10 feet in the air out of nowhere. It's

fucking scary. Like little hairy aliens and shit. Why would you get them? I don't get it. They shit in a box in one of your rooms. Your whole house smells like a minty cat turd. Like why? You know what I mean? Any one of my friends that have a cat, I walk into their house. First of all, I'm allergic. Like you would not believe. If there is a cat within a 10 foot radius, my throat, 10 foot radius isn't that large actually. I might say 10 mile. Joke ruined. Anyway, moving forward. My throat just closes. And I remember in seventh grade, one of my friends, Sean, he was like, oh, you should have, you should sleep over my house. I'm like, yeah, dude, for sure. Sick. I love sleepovers. I don't know why sleepovers were such that

sleepovers were like my shit when I was younger. My shit. You know what I mean? Anywhere. Like, I don't care. You know, some people like get scared and like, mom could pick me up. It's like 3am and they need to like get picked up or whatever. I was like, fuck, don't pick me up tomorrow even. Like I'll stay here the whole fucking week. I don't give a shit. I slept at everyone's house. I always wanted people to sleep at my house. My birthday actually, you guys know how big my group of friends is. It's like 13 people. My birthday every single year, we would just stuff everyone in the basement. Everyone would sleep over and they'd bring me Mike and Ike's because I was all about that shit. All about Mike and Ike's. Oh God, why did I bring that up? Why did I bring up Mike

and Ike's? Love the stuff, but I'm sober and I'm not eating bad. So I'm not going to do it. Maybe on Sundays, I'll just have like a box of Mike and Ike's, just a whole box, shove it right in my ass. What the fuck was I just talking about? The sleepover thing. Where was I going with that? This is why I can't fucking do this by myself. I was going to do it this weekend, but I just, I didn't because I was like, you know what, let me take a break. I deserve it. You know, we did all these, we did 26 straight shows on full screen. You know, we filmed on Wednesday and it was like this whole big thing and now I'm just like, you know what, I'll take some

time off. I'll just do it on Monday. And then I just wait till the last second. It's late. It's 10 o'clock now. It's supposed to be up by nine. I'm fucked already. So at this point, you know, whatever. Anyway, bottom line cats suck all the sleepover thing. That's what I was talking about. Slept to my friend Sean's house. He didn't fucking tell me he literally had four, four of these fucking animals walking around, dander everywhere, whatever that is, you know, things I'm allergic to. I couldn't fucking breathe. I had to like stick my head out the fucking window. It was like winter too. I remember having to sleep with the window open in like his sister's room. Like me and him had to sleep in his sister's room and she had to sleep

in his room because I needed the window open because I couldn't fucking breathe. I almost died there. Anyway, by the way, this morning, obviously, there was that Vegas tragedy. Like it just makes me furious, honestly. But if you don't know what you fucking do, some sick fucking 64-year-old old white fuck had an automatic rifle and he just was in the 32nd floor of the Manila Bay and he was shooting into the crowd of like this country music festival. Jason Aldean was on the stage and he's just started emptying the whole clips into the crowd and there's 50-plus people dead, 200-plus injured. It's like what the fuck is going on? What is happening to the world? You know, it wasn't bad. Like between all these

fucking hurricanes, back-to-back fucking hurricanes, what was that shit? Irma, Andrew, God, God, whatever. I don't even know the names. I made up Andrew. I knew it was Irma, but I don't know the other ones. But there was just fucking hurricanes just coming. These entire countries are underwater and shit. What the fuck's going on? I have no idea. There's that movie coming out with Gerard Butler where like someone can control the fucking weather and make nine tornadoes on one block or something. That's what it feels like right now. And then all this racist fucking shit. These hateful pieces of shit. I just, I don't understand. I don't get it. These fucking morons. I never talked about this and I don't even know why, but these fucking morons with their tiki torches marching in the streets

with their nerdy polos and red fanny packs. You fucking losers. Jesus. Dude, I don't know why, but lately I've been watching a lot of racism documentaries on Netflix because it honestly fascinates me. I'm fascinated. I'm literally fascinated by how fucking stupid people are. It's fascinating. Like, wow, that guy really fucking said that and believes it to be true. This is fascinating that people are this fucking stupid and allowed to drive cars and walk around and shit. It's a, it's fascinating. Fascinating shit. And in one of these documentaries, they asked this white dude like, why don't you like black people? His answer was, I just don't. You sound like a fucking child, Cleetus. Jesus. That's what children say. Why don't you like

broccoli? I just don't grow the fuck up Ebenezer. Jesus. It's fucking ridiculous. All these people are just whiny bitches. It's insane. Another guy. Another guy. I remember another guy was like, well, I'm proud. He said some, you know, stupid shit. He's like, you know, I'm proud to be white. We're white and powerful. You know, that whole little bullshit. And he's like, if we don't do something, then we'll become the minorities in this country. Who fucking, who cares? What would change? What would change? I have no idea. You know, another thing about it, it makes sense that they're fucking their sisters and shit. They're afraid of becoming the minorities. So they're like, well, better fuck everyone inside. Good morning, Sasha. I know you're my sister,

but the Hispanics are closing in on us. Fucking creeps. It's insane. It really makes me angry. It really does. But anyway, back to this gun thing. I honestly, like I don't want to come off as stupid, but I am. I'm gonna, I am. I'm gonna come off as stupid. Let's talk about just like gun control real quick. I don't really even know the law. Okay. I don't know anything. I don't shoot guns. I'm from fucking Queens, New York. No one has fucking guns to just hang out with. You know what I mean? If someone has a gun, it's because they're like doing illegal shit. They're not just, they don't just have guns to have. It doesn't happen like that around here. Okay. For them, at least not to my understanding, it doesn't. But here's my question, right?

I get like, okay. So gun control, to my knowledge, is put in place just in case the government decides to go, you know what? We're going to start fucking just leveling whole neighborhoods and just killing people, right? We have the right to bear arms to protect ourselves from shit like that happening. Or if, you know, whatever people stormed the beaches and we got to fight to, I don't know. I honestly don't know. But that's the whole reason. Like that was put in place back in the day because it just in case of, you know, we get to defend ourselves. I get that. I get that. Which cool? Cool. Yeah. We should. Because if they try to snap on us, which ones they probably will, you know, we should be able to defend ourselves. But why do we need like

assault rifles? Like, I understand you want to be like feel protected and you want to like whatever. Like, okay, like handguns cool, but I'm not really comfortable with just anyone carrying around just like this 30 round magazine automatic rifle. Just like why? What's the point? It's not like a hunting gun. You know, you're not out there just like blowing a deer to dust, putting 30 rounds in a deer. Why have that? Like what like, and I know it's different and probably in other parts of the country, you know, where there's more land to shoot on and you know, it's like a hobby for people. I mean, it's hard for me to relate to that because again, I live in the city. There's none of that. But even so, why should why do you have like, I don't understand that. Like if you want to

protect yourself, get it, get a handgun, it'll do the trick. Someone breaks into your house, you can shoot, you can kill them with a handgun, you know what I mean? Or, you know, whatever. But if no civilian has just like these automatic rifles, not that like people can't kill people with handguns, but I just feel like a assault rifle is like crazy. Why do you need that? You need to be shooting cops carry around handguns. They're dealing with criminals on a day-to-day basis. They don't, I mean, they have them, but they don't just like walk around with them around their fucking necks like fucking Rambo and shit. That doesn't have like, why do we need them? I don't know. It doesn't, I don't know. I wish someone else was on so they could argue with me

because I really don't want this to be a one-sided thing. And I'm sure there's a good answer for it. I just don't know the answer of why, you know, it's completely necessary for us to have just these giant magazines and these automatic weapons. Like, why is that super necessary? What happened to Dirty Harry 5 and the revolver? You know, I don't know. It just, it doesn't seem, it doesn't, it doesn't seem necessary to me to have that. You know, I get you wanna, like, then why don't we, like, if you're gonna give away, not give away, but if you're gonna give out, you know, just automatic weapons and shit, why not just like, why not bazookas? Let's all, let's all get rocket launchers then. Gotta protect myself. If I see a robber in my living room,

I'm gonna blow the whole fucking place up. You know? I'm not saying like, things like this could have been avoided, but it definitely could have, you know, been less tragic. I don't know if that's the word, not less tragic, but, you know, a lot less people would have died if it wasn't an automatic weapon that had, like, 30 rounds or whatever it was, 16, 30, I don't know what the hell it is. I don't know shit about guns. I shot a bunch of guns when I went to Vegas. By the way, that's another thing that was super scary about this. Not that I'm trying to make this about me or anything, but this morning I woke up at 5am to go to the gym and then I ended up staying for three hours to watch the news. And where this guy was firing,

I was there this summer. I was at that spot and I was actually at a place that's like closer to that. It's just like freaky to think about, you know, because you don't think about it while you're there, especially in a place like Vegas where it's like, you feel like you're away from everyone and, you know, everyone's just there to have a good time and stuff, and then something like that happens. It's just, it's crazy. It's insane. I can't even imagine a reason why. They shouldn't have fucking killed that guy. They literally should have just straight up, dude, law-abiding citizen. That movie with Gerard Butler. I'm bringing up Gerard, second Gerard Butler mentioning in this fucking podcast, but Gerard Butler, a law-abiding citizen,

if you haven't seen it, it's fucking good. Watch it. The way that guy kills the guy in the beginning of the movie, spoiler, fucking amazing. That's what we got to start doing. This dude bucks shots from the Mandalay Bay and kills 50 people. We storm that room and we neutralize them, you know, get the guns out of his hands, shoot his kneecaps out, and then just start cutting fingers, eyes, noses, like everything, like try to keep him alive as much as possible until he's just like, he bleeds out. Just a slow, painful beat, like, just fucking make it the worst day of this guy's life. Am I getting too crazy right now? I don't know. Charlie even sat up after that when he's like, dude, what the fuck? Relax. I'm like, you know, I'm a little fired up. But yeah, that movie,

that how that guy killed someone, that's what they should have done to this guy. Or, you know, at least after he's dead, fuck his corpse or something. I don't know. That's gross. I'm sorry. It just makes me so upset. It really does. You know, I'm trying to like just, I don't mean to talk about this in a funny way. It's the only way I know how to like, kind of cope with shit like this. But on a serious note, I really just don't understand what is happening. Like, because I feel like we were in just such a good place, you know, as far as social issues and stuff. And there was none of this stuff. Where did this come from? Out of nowhere. Everyone's fucking just, all these racists are suddenly proud. Like,

I grew up in a time where people just were racist quietly. Now they're just like all loud. And using megaphones with it. Like, what the you fucking losers, dude. Idiots. I swear to God, it's so stupid. Anyway, God, I gotta do a sponsor right now. They are not going to be happy. Like, yeah, thanks for fitting us in right after that racist shit. And then the murder that you constructed. Anyway, blue apron. Blue apron. Number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country. This is actually one of these things that I actually use. Blue apron. I've used this once before. I'm going to burp. Not burp. I don't burp. I just do this little thing where a little air

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a season of The Basement Yard, which was 26 episodes. So, you know, all they did was just set up these cameras and they had this camera crew come here and they would film it every week. And I'll be honest with you. It was a ton of fun. It went way better than I thought it was going to be when I first got the opportunity. I was like, yeah, cool. Like I'm down, but I didn't like expect much of it to be honest with you. I didn't think it was going to be anything too crazy. And I was just like, okay, cool. This is another stream of income that I could have and whatever. But it was actually really fun and like I learned a lot and I want to continue filming it. I don't have, you know, the resources now. When I say resources, I mean a second camera or the time to

edit because I'm just been fucking doing so much lately. But I will say that, you know, it was really cool. And, you know, it was funny because when it first started, it was super it for the first time people came here from full screen. It was super weird because I had to like a model, which I hate doing. I really hate it so much, but they, you know, there was a team of people here. I want to say it was like 12 people. They show up and mind you, by the way, this full screen thing came as I was moving out of my old apartment and I moved out early, like early from the lease, the landlord was cool and he's like, yeah, sure, no problem. I was like, dude, keep the security deposit, you know, put it towards the next month's

rent or whatever, but I'm getting the fuck out of here. And he was like, yeah, cool, no problem. But that apartment was tiny. Literally, I think it was an eighth of the size of this place now. It was, it was small. Not only was it small, there just wasn't room to do any of this stuff. Like it wouldn't have worked. So there was like 12 people and if they were to come to my old apartment, I don't know where everyone would have even sat. It was bad. But anyway, so the first day they come and they got this big white sheet that they basically, you know how like people who model, they bring out this big white sheet, this backdrop, they take pictures and stuff and like, I'm taking pictures and she and this lady I can tell, you know, if photographers are, they're

like, yeah, yeah, you look good. Yeah, just give me like, yeah, that's, yeah, that's it. I was just like, oh God, I just felt so weird. He's like, you like sports, you're a sporty guy. Here, do the, hold the football, hold it out like you're in a game, like you just scored a touchdown. I'm like, shut up, mom. It was just so, you know, it was uncomfortable. I didn't like it. So room full of people watching you pose. It's just, it's weird. You know, but all that stuff happened. They came, they set up in here. All the people were cool though, you know, I've never had a problem with full screen or anything like that. And I remember the first episode, I was like, yo, Davino, you got a, my friend,

Davino, that's always on this shit. You guys know him unless you don't, then I'll just go fuck myself. But anyway, Davino, I was like, yo, you got to come on for the first one. Like, I need a guest, blah, blah, blah. I was like, yeah, sure, come on. And when he came, so that was like before these 12 people and all that photo shoot stuff was before the first episode. This was, that was like a few weeks before or like a week and a half before or something like that. And then for the first episode, there was more, there was like six people here. There was like, an audio guy. And then there was like a bunch of camera guys for no fucking reason. Then there was this executive producer guy that was here. And I can tell that Davino was like

getting overwhelmed and being like, oh fuck, because I mean, I do this for a living like I'm in front of a camera and I have to, you know, be a fucking asshole forever long. But Davino doesn't do that obviously. So he's kind of like, all right, I'm not used to this, what the hell's going on. So I sense that from him. I'm like, yeah, let's just start drinking. I was like, because I wanted to like loosen them up. And I'm a, I'm a beer fan, you know, I'm losing my fucking mind with this sober October thing. And because I started it three weeks to early, I was a stupid mistake. So I'm dumb dying right now. I would love a beer. But Davino, Davino was like, yeah, sure, I'll have a drink. But all I have is these IPAs and they're

high, like percentage like wise, you know what I mean? They were like 8.7 or they're like 7.2 or something like that. So we're drinking these like their regular beers. And then eventually they just catch up to you. And like, I have a pretty good tolerance, but Davino does not. So the first episode he was just hammered. And he was drinking the entire time on the show. So we started drinking before then we started the show. Davino's on it. He's just fucking slurring. He's saying weird shit that doesn't even make sense. And I'm just like, oh, God, what are you doing? But it's funny to me because I know Davino and he says just random shit all the time. And it's just like funny, like, oh, that's Davino. But no one else knows him. So they're

like, the fuck is this kid talking about? You know, and it's funny because that's kind of how the show ended also. By the way, the show ended not because there was any like ill will or anything, it just well, I think it's because, you know, to do this show, they have to pay freelance guys because they're based in LA. So they have to pay these freelance guys to come here and shoot it. They got to pay me for the stuff that I'm doing with the show and then the promotion for the show. And then they have to, you know, upload it from there. So it's a lot of work. And I'm the only show they have they had in New York. Everything else is like based on the West Coast, like in LA, they can shoot it in their studios or whatever. So it was just like a pain,

I guess I wasn't really expecting it to get a second season since we started honestly. But it was definitely cool. But the last day, we also ended it ended it on a bang. So if you haven't watched any of them, or I mean, if you want to check them out, I'm pretty sure you could check it out. There's like a trial that you could do for free. I don't know how long it last though. But yeah, just go to fullscreen.com slash basement yard or something. And you could just watch them. But like the first episode, Davina was drunk. I was fine. But the last episode that we did, that was with my friend Frankie. And what a doozy. Okay, this was fucked up. This was last week. The podcast that went up last week, fucking me. That was three weeks ago now that we filmed

that, I think, or two weeks ago or something. But we, it was like four o'clock and these guys usually show up at five 30. And we're like, yo, let's just go to supermarket and get a bunch of beers and just get as drunk as possible before they get here. And he's like, yeah, for sure. I'm like, all right, cool. We went and we did just that. We started drinking heavy. And mind you, this is a Wednesday. It's Wednesday. And we started drinking and then we for the last show, we just had all the camera guys and the audio guy that, you know, we see every week, we're like, yeah, all you guys come on beat on the show. So we had like five people talking at the same time. Me and Frankie are like noticeably drunk. Visually, you can hear it in our voices.

We were drunk. It was, it was not, not good. And I didn't really remember what I said. And then afterwards, they, we had like a sumo contest. They had those big blow up those air blow up fucking, what's the sumo costumes or whatever. And then we sumoed in my living room, hammered. We were drinking throughout the show too. I was so drunk to the point that when I watched it back, I was like, this is embarrassing. I was like, what the fuck is, what is, what is wrong with me? I was also vlogging that day. And I had like two three minute clips on my camera that I do not remember whatsoever. It was just me with the camera in my hand, in the suit with the helmet on, going over to each camera guy and everyone who worked for full screen, like,

yeah, this is my guy right here. Fucking Kyle's chilling. I was like, oh, fuck. And I cut that out of the vlog because I'm like, this is fucking, I look like a piece of shit. Long story short, I woke up at 330 in the morning. I guess you could say Thursday, but like when I fell asleep, I had, you know, there's a bunch of podcasts that get done out of here, you know, that my friends have podcast shows. And that night, there was a podcast show going on and I passed out on the couch with Frankie. We both passed out and they woke up after the show was over and they just left. And like, you know, because they were like, yeah, you guys are out. So we just walked out. I woke up at 330 in the morning and I didn't remember what the hell happened. Like I literally,

the last thing I remember was from hours ago. Like I don't remember laying down. I don't really remember saying bye to anybody. I faintly remember the sumo match, you know, it was fuzzy. But I was like, this is bad. I woke up with my eyes like wide like, wow, what the fuck? I was so confused. And I have never, I haven't blacked out in years, like probably since I was like 19. Like I don't black, especially from beer. I must have drank a lot, which is, you know, which explains why I started sober October very early. I was like, okay, you black out on a fucking Wednesday and it's time to change, Joseph. So that's what I did. And now I've just been working out, like, like hell, getting stronger. Guys, I fucking hate dieting. It's just the worst thing ever.

Because I don't know how to do, like to successfully diet, you have to like eat. And I hate eating. Like it's hard for me to eat consistently if it's healthy. Because I would rather eat stuff that tastes good, or not eat at all. Like right now I didn't have dinner. I usually, I skip meals all the time. I just forget to eat because I'm working. I just forget. And I'm just like, Oh, fuck, I didn't eat today. And it's like 4pm. And I'm like, shit. So I got to have something. And then by the time dinner time rolls around, I'm not that hungry. So I'll have like, two rice cakes. And then I'll go sleep with one fucking meal and two rice cakes in me. Like it's not good. Like you're not gonna, that's not a successful diet. So it's hard for me.

But uh, yeah, I'm a fucking moron. I don't know what to tell you. But I've been working out like crazy. Yes. By the way, the other day, usually I go to the gym with my friend Frankie, uh, my friend Dylan, and my cousin Pete. And there was this one day, we were, uh, in the sauna. And how my sauna works in my gym, you can't really see who's in there. Like you can, but you can't at the same time. Because if you look through the little window, you can see straight ahead. And if there's someone there, you see them. But there's a whole bench in section to the left that you can't see until you open the door. And this old dude just swung open the door, dick out, right? Cause he didn't see anybody. He thought he was there

alone. He was going to kick his feet up and let his dick melt. He kicked the door open, walked in there and was like, Oh fuck. He didn't say that, but he was just like, he looked taken. He's like, Oh shit. Cause we were all in there. You know, we usually work out, sit in the sauna for like 10, 15 minutes, sweat, hate our lives and then get the fuck out of there. But he, he walked in there dick flapping, not really flapping, not the biggest thing I've ever seen, but I'm not going to fault the guy because, you know, my dick, especially my dick just fluctuates in size. You would not believe. Oh man, my, yo, my dick in the winter is not something to look at. Let me tell you. It's not, it's just not. Okay. I'll be honest with you. Sorry. No, but he came out. I'm just

being funny, but he came in. He literally had his dick out. He was wearing sandals though. That was the only article clothing this guy, huh? I lied. He had a chain on too. He had a chain and sandals. That was the only things on his body. He walked in and we were kind of crowding because there was a lot of us and so he just like stood there for a second and then everyone was quiet. So to break the silence, I literally was just like, come on in, sit down and I moved to the side and then he climbed up on the, cause there's like these benches obviously if you ever seen a sauna on like TV or whatever. And he just sat right behind me and I could feel the heat from his cock just on the back of my neck and my spine and I got too close. I actually had a nice conversation with the guy.

We're like, where are you from? We just had to start it. I'm just, he was from Columbia. I don't know why I'm telling you that, but you know, I've already told you this guy's dick size and stuff. He was, you know, he was an older guy, but good for him. I'm sure he was crushing it back in the day in Columbia. I'm sure he was. Anyway, what else is going on? How long we have? 34 minutes. Here we go. Guys, other people lot, other people's lives is back season two. It's another podcast show that I do. It comes out on Thursday. So you can find it on the podcast app or like SoundCloud or some shit, but it's a lot of fun, man. We, it's, it's really a cool show because you like learn so much, you know, basically, you know, we call random people not at random, you know, we, we search for

them and we ask if we can interview them, you know, based on, you know, we usually find people on Craigslist. That's like a big one. Like they have like weird stuff that's like, yeah, I like to do this and that. I'm like, all right, this is kind of strange. Let's interview you. Or we'll get emails. And we just set off the season by interviewing this woman who's an escort and a mom at the same time who plans on telling her daughter that she was an escort when she gets of age, which I found very interesting and kind of awesome. Not, not hiding it. Yo, used to fuck dudes for money to put food on the table. You're fucking welcome, little bitch. Oh, shit. I'm really losing my mind. But yeah, we've called a bunch of different people. There

was like the Plotonic Cuddler, the Plotonic Spanker. There was a ton of shit and it's just a lot of fun, but you like learn stuff, you know, because you obviously you see these people's posts or whatever, and you're like, okay, this is a little fucking weird. And then you're like, oh, this is kind of deep, actually, like you learn stuff from people. You know, surprisingly, there was this one girl who was 19 years old, said she was obsessed with giving blow jabs, blood jabs. And she was actually really deep. And I was like, fuck, you're like mature as shit. You know, she was weird. By the way, it's past escort woman. She told the story that some dude, I really missed an opportunity too, because some dude like had her over and she made him

clean them, obviously, but he wanted to stick little two inch action figures of like Batman and Thor and, you know, the Hulk into her vagina. I just said vagina, by the way, into her vagina. And then just pop them out and just like do voices like her, I'm the Hulk or I'm Thor. Like, like what? And you know, as the interview was going on, I was too taken back by that statement that I forgot to ask. How much does that cost? How much do you charge for that? Dude, for me, you're sticking 12 action figures in my shit. You're gonna have to cough up the dough. All right. I don't do this for just anybody. This is like a special request. Okay. This is not part of the deal here. This is not what we agreed on.

I found that very interesting. But uh, yeah, it was crazy. She also said something about, I don't mean to give away the coolest stories and everything, but it was a good episode. She also said that there was this one time where this dude, I guess he wanted to do anal. I'm kind of freestyling at this point. I think it was anal. But she was like, yeah, you got to get the lube from my fucking uh, my bag. So he gets the lube and he sprays it on his dick and it's pepper spray. Okay. He's stung his dick off, basically. And you know, it was weird to think about because I was like, wait a minute, who puts lube? Like if I'm putting lube on, I don't use lube. Okay. That's not my thing. I've never been a lube guy. Uh, but if I were to use lube,

I would use it like I would use shampoo. I squirt it into my hand and then apply to the proper area. Who the fuck, like this guy was going to like put it on his dick like toothpaste, like just kind of squeeze it on. And how do you fuck up? Like what do you think this was a spray on lube? This guy kind of deserved it. He had it coming. Let's be honest with ourselves. Okay. You don't spray on lube. But, but yeah, she's like this guy had a, he sprayed pepper spray all over his dick and uh, he was in agony. And then we all laughed. We laughed at this guy's burning dick. We were just like, yeah, it's fucking hysterical. Love it. It's great. Um, but yeah. Uh, what else is going on? Guys, there's merch coming. Uh, some company hit me up and they were

like, yeah, we want to do merchant shit. And I'm like, ah, yeah, fuck it. So there's going to be merch. There's some, you know, some shirts and, uh, hats coming. And I don't know. It depends how quickly I can design stuff because I don't want it to be super fucking just corny. It was like, Oh, Joe, Santa, God, my fucking face is on it. Like I'm not trying to do that. And that's just fucking weird. I don't want that. Um, I'm trying to make stuff that I think people like. Um, but yes, that is coming soon. Maybe sometime this week. Honestly, I just got an email today. So it might be up this week. I'm going to let you guys know about it when I, when it happens. Uh, but yeah, that should, that should be exciting. Also, uh, if you remember, I said I was doing a script

and it's really coming along now. Uh, I actually wrote, you know, an episode and I like showed it around to some people that I wanted feedback from. Uh, most of it was good, but I also got a lot of notes from people and now I got myself, uh, a writing partner and we're just going to fucking churn this bitch out. We had a really good session the other day and, uh, we're going to be meeting once a week and meeting them tomorrow night. Um, for a couple hours and stuff, but we're really going to get the ball rolling on this guys. I'm so, I'm, I am through the roof about this. You have no idea. Like I think I really think that I, that I'm praying to God, Netflix picks it up. I'm praying because I really think it's going to be that good. I really do. And you know,

I don't know if that's just like arrogance or whatever. I'm just really confident in the fact that me and my partner are going to be able to write something really good that people will enjoy, not just people who enjoy my kind of humor, but just like anybody really, you know what I mean? I wanted to have all different types of comedy, like that dry comedy and, you know, uh, awkward stuff and you know, what the hell I do this loud asshole or whatever. But you know, I wanted to be just, you know, good and, you know, linear. I wanted to make sense. You know, the script that I wrote originally, I just put down a bunch of stuff on a paper and I wrote it in script format, but I also didn't like develop characters well and stuff like that. So we're restarting from the

beginning. Same concept. Not really going to give too much away, but I'm super excited about that. But yeah, also I have a giant surprise for you guys that is coming this week on the vlog channel. I'm going to be putting up a video explaining my new venture in life. Okay. And it's, I don't want to give it away now on this, but just know that there is a video coming this week, possibly Wednesday that, uh, means a lot to me and it is a new venture, new business venture that I'm, that I'm doing and it's something that I really believe in and I think will better the lives of many people. So when that comes out, be sure to check that out. I don't really have anything else to say. Uh, Jesus 45 minutes. What is wrong with me? Anyway, that is all guys.

Um, I promise I'm going to have a guest next next week and be more organized, but I wanted to throw this up. Obviously I didn't want to have nothing go up, but just some of my thoughts real quick. And that is all. Thanks for listening.