The Basement Yard - When Did The Bush Die?

Episode Date: October 31, 2017

Let's talk about bush. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back to the basement yard. It is just me today. I'm by myself Unfortunately, so you're stuck with me for the next half hour or whatever this is. It's not gonna be a long episode But yeah, I'm a little late, I'll be honest with you This is probably gonna get uploaded at 1 a.m. On Tuesday because it's currently midnight right now And I'll be honest. I fucked up I was watching my night football lost track of time. I was like fuck. I didn't put out a podcast I'm an asshole So that's what happened, but I was also working on stuff

I was I was shooting a lot of veterans minimum stuff Which is if you don't know the sports podcast and sports shows that I do and stuff So I was doing that was busy doing that. So That's why this is late. But anyway last night. I Almost lost my life Okay, I was on my roof. It was windy as fuck and There's like this fence that was put up on the side of my roof that Like is for vines like vines like grow up the side of it or whatever and it's supposed to look nice in the summer

But there's no vines on it right now obviously and the wind was insane Yesterday it like rained all day and then at night the winds were literally like 80 miles per hour. It was insane and I'm sitting on the couch and all of a sudden I just hear like I'm like what the fuck was that so I go upstairs and I see the fence is just completely like half off The you heard me completely half off that makes no sense It's like hanging half off of the wall that it was like stabled into or nailed into rather and it's like half onto my roof And at the top of my stairs Where the roof is there's like a skylight so I could see it on top of the roof and I have a video of it

That I'm going to be uploading tomorrow on my extra Joe channel so go subscribe there if you're not youtube.com slash extra Joe videos and As I'm filming I'm like yo this thing just blown to the roof. It's what it swings off and then smashes into the door Yo, it was fucking scary. I thought I was like what the hell's going on the wind was so loud I thought the the windows were just gonna cave in and then I'd have like a window just open I would have to sleep at the window just fucking cracked and wide open and that's what I would have to do Like I didn't I didn't know what the hell was going on It was terrifying, but I almost lost my life because when I went out there

It was like there was only one nail that was still holding it together and it was like pretty in there So I was like I have to take this thing off Otherwise it's just gonna swing and eventually it's gonna hit a window and shatter it or it'll blow off my roof And it'll kill someone driving by or something So I go out there and it's windy as hell and it's raining like sideways And I'm pulling this thing and I can't get it off so I put it down for a second and I step off the ledge to like regroup and also a gust of wind comes and it swings it at me

And I duck and it hits the window super hard and then there's like a What the fuck a screen on the other side that just like popped out Like it was off. It was a fucking mess. If this thing would have hit me in the head I would have been dead. It would have decapitated me. It was like that scene in Twister. You remember when that guy gets like the The fucking what's that called the part of the car the hubcap it like fucking hits him in the head and like cuts his forehead That's what it was almost like. It was almost like that. I feel like Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton out there and shit. It's ridiculous God anyway Halloween

Just passed. Well, Halloween's today technically. I mean it's midnight now. So Halloween's today But Saturday was the adult Halloween. Let's go out and dress up put makeup on and get drunk, right? So I was Mugatu obviously from Zoolander Some people had no idea who I was and I was kind of offended by that and I was like, dude How do you fucking not know this movie? if you don't know in in Zoolander with Ben Stiller, I'm the guy who will Farrell plays Just a ridiculous thing has a little puppy that I was carrying around also. It was awesome. Some dude

Which is like, dude, I gotta take a picture of you. This is hysterical. I was like, fuck. Yeah, I was hype but yeah, I was fucking Mugatu and I thought I had the best costume Until I arrived Because when I arrived, I saw that one of my friends one of my friends my friend boss, right? He always has like a last minute like two days before Halloween. He's like, I have no idea I'm gonna be I didn't buy anything and then he comes up with some fucking amazing shit And I'm like, dude, how do you do that in under two days?

I have to think about what I'm gonna be for like a month and then it's like It's barely good. You know what I mean? So he comes out. He's dressed as Bob Ross. Okay. He's got the wig He's got the fro and he's got this like homemade Paint thing. What the what is that thing called? Would they put all the paint on it? And he's just like mixes it up and just makes like these fucking crazy colors I have to like Google that because I don't even know what to type in Paint thing with colors Yeah, nothing came up. What's that called like a palette, oh man

Bob Ross thing he holds this is what I'm typing into Google by the way Yeah, I don't know this is how stupid I am I usually type full sentences Into Google it's ridiculous. Oh, here we go. What is this called a? Rack what? Never mind. I didn't find shit. Oh, this is it. Oh, yeah, it's a palette. It's an acrylic palette. Okay. Okay. Yeah See, I wasn't far off. I said that I guess a palette but He had like a homemade one with like colors on it and he had the fro and he had the paintbrush I was like dude. Oh my god. This is fucking amazing. I'm a big Bob Ross fan

If you've watched like all of my videos we've seen a few of them I have I'm wearing that shirt That's just a picture of Bob Ross just drawing trees because that was his shit This guy could draw trees like a motherfucker. Okay If there's two things Bob Ross knows it's trees and pussy Okay, that dude was probably slaying gash back in the day like you would not believe Just look at his face. He's too calm to not be fucking just every day You ever watch that show? I think they have it on Netflix now So you can go back and watch it if you're younger

You probably have no idea who I'm talking about but maybe you do because he's like an urban legend Like your parents definitely like I would come home from school and watch that every single day And he'd just be there. It's just like he's whispering. What's that shit on youtube called? Here comes the add What was that shit on youtube called? Where it's like a chick just like whispering into a microphone It's like it's like a arp No, but it's some acronym. What is that called now? I'm typing into whisper thing YouTube a

a something A song came up the whispers. What the fuck is this? I don't oh asmr. What does asmr stand for? asmr Autonomous sensory meridian response. Whatever the fuck that means um Yeah, if you don't know what that is I don't know how the fuck we got here

But anyway, if you don't know what that is asmr if you typed it into youtube It's just people whispering into a microphone and apparently that's like soothing to people It's just some chick going like hey I had a really nice day today How was your day? Oh, that's good And you're like what the fuck is it and they crush they get millions of views I'm gonna put one on just so like, you know, you could hear what i'm talking about. It's actually very creepy

Uh, here we go commercials. Look at this fucking ass all year um Oh, let's get this going here Today I decided to To just have some one-on-one time with you So See already I feel like I got kidnapped by a crazy old woman and now she's about to rape me

That's what that sounds like and just to let you know This video has over 12 million views and While she's talking like that. She's petting the screen As if she's like touching my face. I'm gonna play some more. Let's let's let's you know what let's dive in. Here we go She's not even like good at this She's just so redundant. It sounds like she's trying to like I just this is she's like, I'm just gonna relax you. I'm gonna use some relaxing techniques

You sound like you're it's your first day on the job You're just being very redundant like oh, I'm gonna relax you with some relaxing techniques because they're relaxing Yeah, we get it, bitch. By the way, this fucking video is 38 minutes long Can you imagine listening to someone whisper at you for fucking 40 minutes? This is psychotic. This is psychotic. I'm sorry I'm sorry. Hold on Oh Yeah, I forgot to mention this sometimes they won't even talk. They'll just like rub a sponge Onto the microphone

And apparently this is good and listen. I don't know if this is like for people That have something wrong with them or something. I'm like, I don't know that So if that's the case and I'm being very like fucked up right now So be it. This is fucking weird, dude. I'm sorry. I'm not even like get a sugar coated From the outside looking in this is fucking nuts Like who's doing this for a living? Here we go. Here we go It sounds like the oh shit Dude, I can't this is so weird

But anyway, the only reason why I brought up this shit is because uh Bob Ross was the originator of this asmr shit Okay What is this video? So I'm sorry Before we give it to Bob Ross this video says asmr 20 hours Of tapping sounds for sleep and relaxation Who the fuck is relaxed by the sound of tapping

Who is relaxed by that and who needs 20 hours of this? If you need 20 hours of relaxation like How unemployed can you be that you can just sit there for 20 hours And just be relaxed 20 hours tapping sounds for you some slow Some a little faster This guy looks like peter bailish from fucking game of thrones this shit is fucked dude

What the fuck is going? I did not expect this to happen I'm so glad it did I just discovered the world of asmr um Truth be told I find that the opposite of relaxing. I find it very uh creepy. It makes me on edge. Actually, I'd be honest with you It's just so weird like I I get like listening to the ocean and I get listening to maybe like rain or

You know jungle noises whatever the fuck that means, you know just like the background of a tarzan movie but someone whispering or tapping Is fucking like annoying and weird and creepy If I'm laying in bed and have my headphones in do you think I want to like Pretend someone's whispering in my ear. How creepy is that? the fuck but there must be some just

Psychological like I gotta look this up. I've been looking up everything right now There's got to be some something Something here. What is this? Asmr is a term used for an experience characterized by a static like or tingling sensation of the skin that typically Begins in the scalp and moves down the back in the neck of the spine. Okay, but still like what? I guess they're just like triggers and it's like, I don't know. It's relaxing for some people I just find it very scary and creepy. I don't like it

But anyway, the whole reason I even got to this is because Bob Ross was basically doing that shit the entire show But he was painting You know, he was painting. He's like, oh, look at these trees. Look at the trees. I know you don't you just love a good tree I Like dude, I didn't know anything about trees until you're fucking saying this and Bob Ross was just something else because man First of all, this guy had an afro Like you would not believe and he had a face that said I do a lot of lsd when no one's looking But everyone kind of just let that slide

because he was so good at drawing mountains and like You know good for him but Yeah, he would just draw So what he would do is he would just draw like the whole thing just like blue Then put some white in it and whiten it and you're like, oh, okay So I see some clouds there

And then all of a sudden he would fuck up the entire thing Like it would feel like he fucked it up, right? He just put this like big black splatter On it and you're like, dude, what the fuck you doing, Bob? Like you're sitting at home and now you all of a sudden you're the professional artist You're like, oh, great. Now you fucked it up, Bob. Good job So he puts this like black shit and you're like, oh, you fucked it up. There was nice colors, whatever And all of a sudden he takes this other like It looks like a knife sort of he comes out of nowhere with this thing

And he starts just hacking away at the paint And then in two seconds it becomes like these beautiful mountains and you're like, holy shit, Bob And the whole time he's just whispering like, yeah, you know, you get some snowy mountains Some snowy mountains here. Look at the ridge. Look at the look at the tree line And all of a sudden he's just he's just creating things out of thin air Dude, if I smoked weed, that would be the first thing I would watch That would be the first thing Bob Ross, what else could you possibly want?

This fucking just jolly guy painting away Whispering shit to you You're like, this is fucking lit, dude. This is the best afternoon I've ever had Like this is great By the way, like I said, Bob Ross had to have been just slaying puss

Back in the day just by his look you could just tell You know what I mean? And I can also definitely picture Bob Ross as a guy who's like a nudist but just like so calm about it You know what I mean? And he doesn't really give you a warning Like you meet him one time at a public setting and he's like, oh, yeah, sure. Yeah No, it's cool. Just come over. We'll we'll have some wine and we'll Just paint and we'll just have a good time. And you're like, yeah, fuck you, Bob

I'm in what's good? And then you show up at his place and he doesn't even have a front door It's just beads and then you walk through the beads and there's like a cloud of smoke and you're like, all right It was smoky, but whatever finally you get to the back And there's a room and he's sitting there It's just him Fucking ass naked not even socks. There's 30 women who are just Super more naked than him and they all have bushes and he has a bush

Everyone's rocking a bush. It's just real bushy. You know what I mean? He definitely had a bush Everyone had a bush back then bush was like the thing You know, if you didn't have a bush, it was like, dude, what the fuck? Where's this? Where's your bush? Did you leave your bush at home? But when did the bush die? That's my question. Okay, when did we start to think bushes were gross? Because now Like if someone's got a bush, you're like, Jesus take care. What are you? What are you fucking homeless? Take care of this. You know what I mean?

And uh, I can't lie though. I like I don't know. I guess it's because I've never experienced just like a full-on bush You know what I mean? Like I'm talking about like a bush Like let it go for like a year It needs hairspray type of bush I'm not talking about I forgot to shave for four days. I'm not talking about that little like you know Sideburns I'm talking about like full head of hair

Shit, that's what I'm talking about. Like that was cool back in the day and all of a sudden they're like, you know Let's get some shapes in here start doing landing strips And you know the batman symbol or people were shaving their zip code in there or the last four digits of their social or whatever uh But that's but somewhere along the line everyone's like, you know what we need to get rid of this entirely And then people started waxing brazilian waxing Uh, which just means they wax like your whole asshole and like whatever Or just the whole thing or whatever. It's just bad the whole bad area

They get rid of all of it, but it's like why why when did that happen? I Want to I want to know a date. I wonder if I you know what I'm gonna google that too I'm gonna type it into google. Um When did the bush die? George h bush, okay, so he died guys, uh, this is when george h george h

bush He passed away. Did he pass away? I think I think he's still alive That's an old guy, man No, no, he died. Oh, no, that was just no, no, no, he's alive Is he alive? Is george h bush alive? Guys i'm dead serious i've been typing all this into Into fucking um

google But uh, yeah, I don't know when the bush died, but it's somewhere along the line We decided that like that wasn't okay people started narrowing, you know narrow It's just like a shampoo that makes your hair fall out or whatever the fuck that is. I have no idea but um Yeah, that's how I imagine bob ross like I said no doors on his place just beads And uh, you know you walk through the beads. There's a cloud of smoke. You can't really see there's people walking past you None of them are bob. He didn't even tell you there was going to be people here

And then you walk into that back room and he's just laying on he doesn't even have couches There's a bunch of pillows on the floor giant pillows body pillows and he's laying on him and he's sprawled out He's got a bush. He is not even trying to hide this dick. He's just letting it out and all the women are just like smoking cigarettes Giggling and just having a bush You know what I mean? This is how I'm kind of picturing the interaction with with bob ross I have no idea what kind of guy he was I could google that but I feel like I've

You know, I've tired googled out enough. I feel like this point. It's going to be like do give it a rest It's like when I am like stop googling about bushes um But yeah Fucking bob ross. What a good what a good costume. I might have to do that next year. I hope I remember that because That's just a great costume. I fucking love it Um, I thought I had the best one, but you know Can't always win. You can't always win. Uh, anyway, let's get to the sponsor here

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It's not because I'm like lazy I want everyone to kind of know that like I'll be honest with you and god damn it. We're gonna get a little serious here, but So when I first started making money off of youtube, uh No, let me backtrack. Okay, because I'm glad I I did youtube for free the first like three or four years that I started doing it And it was because I got flagged for something and I just couldn't make any money But I was like, I love doing this which I still do. I love doing it Uh, I love doing this so I'm gonna do it anyway because I just think it's a good platform and it's a good opportunity to be noticed By buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, right?

so So I did it for free then um when I started making really good money I Started to feel really guilty because truth be told it doesn't take a whole lot for me To come up with funny things to say Um in the videos like that's not the hard part the hard part is coming up with topics that are funny enough or that are You know that I can create a substantial Video with that's at least five minutes around five minutes long

Um, but and that's like the hardest part, but I can I can really do that I can write jokes for anything really. I always say like I could talk about a glass of water for an hour And you know, it would be fine. It's just coming up with something that I think is good enough um And so I started to feel guilty because I'm like, okay. Well, I'm only working Technically like once a week Well, I had a job I had this was before right so I I had a job

That was working nine to five and then I was making these videos like on the side And then once I saved up a bunch of money. I was like, you know what I'm going to leave this job And I'm just going to try and make it With the youtube thing. I just focused on myself. So I left and then I was just doing youtube Right and I was only uploading once a week I wasn't doing any vlogs or anything like that Or any podcasts. I was just like, you know what whatever I'm trying to do this And it didn't feel like I was doing enough. I feel like I was very overpaid

Because of what I did at that point of my voice just cracked. Holy fuck at that point um I had just did like the first idiots of the internet video and I put it on facebook and it went fucking crazy And that's how a lot of peanut peanut I almost said penis. That's how a lot of penis found me Uh shout out to penis. Yeah one time. But anyway That's how a lot of people found me was that idiots of the internet video And then I was making like really good money

For not doing much and I felt I started to feel guilty. So I was like, you know what I have all this time And I feel like I have more to offer. So let me just start Piling things on my plate and then I've come to the point where I piled too much on my plate And now it's just hard to manage my time And you know not I mean it's a lot of behind the scenes stuff. So people don't even realize but you know there's the sports podcast that I do and

I'm the only one that knows how to You know record and upload these things and you know, we do video stuff Three or four videos a week that go on that channel and I gotta throw that up there And then you know do social media for them and there's an instagram account and then I have my podcast that I'm doing and then I have my videos then I have vlogs and um There's just a bunch of stuff, you know, and and I'm working on a script currently that I'm really excited about About 20 pages in I'm almost done with the pilot episode and then after I'm done with the pilot episode. I have to write

Fucking outlines for the next Episodes in the season and then we can start shopping it around me and my agent can start Shopping it around and seeing who's interested in it. I am kind of sold on it being a netflix show And i'm not gonna like settle for less and I can't help it like I will literally print out copies Of this thing and walk into netflix and put it on people's desks every single day I will leave 30 copies of it right outside the front door I don't even know if netflix has a fucking building

I'm just like saying this like I'll go through. I'll do whatever I have to do Like I don't care. I'll send an email every fucking day. I do not care Someone will agree to make this one day on netflix. Trust me um but Yeah, I started writing it And I completely scrapped the first Draft I was like, this is garbage and then I started over

Uh, I have a writing partner and I feel like we're doing a really good job now And uh, yeah, it's just it's just it's a lot of fun I actually enjoy it like a whole lot and we have a good system now And i'm just really fucking excited and you know, although that I keep right so that's why you know The reason why i'm saying all this is because that's the reason why I keep missing these videos Is because there's a lot of stuff that i'm doing throughout the week and then you know

I'm so used to tuesday coming around and I could just do it on tuesday Because usually it was just like oh, I just had my podcast In the youtube videos So there wasn't a whole lot creatively That was being axed with me, but now it's just like a lot of You know creativity is being drained out of me every single day And I know that sounds crazy to people who aren't necessarily doing that because although it's not Uh, you know physically grueling or anything like that

It's it's really mentally draining and it's hard to Uh, you know come up with good stuff when you're constantly Trying to come up with something innovative and new and funny and whatever It across all these things that i'm doing, you know what I mean? Like I can sit there and write the script for four hours and then after that i'm fucking burnt out And i'm like I just want to take a nap like i'm just like even though I just sat Down and was typing like it's just it's just It's it's tiring in a different way

And that's why it's like tough for me sometimes to You know make those videos and you know i'm doing my best i'm really trying to You know be better with it and there's honestly no excuse like I just have to manage my time better and uh realize that I have to put more of an effort towards it, but Yeah, that's why it's been happening like I think I missed like three videos in two months or something like that Which is a lot for me So it's kind of like a wake-up call in a way where it's kind of like dude. You can't let this thing slip And uh because it has slipped before there was a time where

I was getting like 150 000 views in a week, which was like really good for me at the time And then you know at one point it dipped to like 50 000 in a week and I was like fuck And then I just kind of had to dig it out of the gutter and try harder and you know Do that shit so eventually it worked out but I don't want to see that happen again And I know a lot of people are looking forward to seeing those videos on tuesdays And I just don't want anyone to think that I'm like taking it for granted or I'm like doing whatever

But honestly, although I'm missing these weeks and stuff like that. I'm also very excited because I finally feel like I'm working really hard And I know I'm working really hard and I'm working really hard every single day and I Am at some point going to be able to show people what else I can do You know with the script and with the sports shows and and Everything else that I'm doing, you know, and now we have the clothing line as well

The santa gata store.com that just dropped You guys can check that out if you haven't You know, I just put out some merch and like this is all like standard stuff that's in there right now but I've been really working in working on designing stuff and trying to find cool fabrics and different types of t-shirts and You know, whatever

I don't want to just make You know, you're run of the mill Shirts or whatever just like with a saying on it or something like I want to make stuff that can stand alone And just kind of be something that People who have no idea who I am could see and be like, you know what I want to wear that looks cool Like I genuinely want to do that Uh So I've been doing that as well. So that's taken up some of my time

As well and there's just a lot, you know, I mean, there's just a lot of stuff and But like I said, even though I've been missing those videos I'm still very excited because I want to be able to show people that I can do all these things, you know what I mean And uh, there's there's another thing That I'm working on and I'm not supposed to say it But eventually, you know, I'm going to dedicate an episode to it and it kind of explain it to you And that's something that you know, we've been me and some other people have been working on Uh, you know tirelessly

um So that'll be fun, but Yeah, I just wanted I'm the only reason why I'm saying this. I'm not trying to be like, hey guys feel bad for me I'm so tired. I'm not saying that what I'm saying is Uh, I'm not leaving you out to dry and it's not like I don't give a shit anymore. My voice is cracking guys. It's late Oh god, uh, it's not that I don't give a shit anymore. It's just that I'm working on other stuff I want to I want to show you guys what I can do And I could do something that isn't just these youtube videos, you know and and uh

Yeah, and yeah, I mean I say this all the time also I'm going to try to vlog more because I feel like that's a different aspect of Me that people can get on a day-to-day basis Because I mean it's also fun too because sometimes I'll think of something that's like funny Or something will happen to me. That's funny and Like I'm not a good tweeter. I'm not I don't tweet that much Uh as I used to so I don't think to tweet it I'll just throw it in my group chat let my friends laugh at it or whatever

But with with the vlogs I can take these little bits and kind of make a Video out of it and just whatever and people seem to enjoy those too. So I'm gonna try and do those as well but yeah God Dude, I'm so tired right I just run on a tangent. I can't even breathe. It's insane. Nah

But yeah guys, um Just know that I'm super excited to bring you cool stuff in the Santa gala store Um, again, that's the santa gala store dot com. Ha ha ha ha Uh There's no hoodies or anything in there. Yeah, I put that they're coming Um, definitely in the winter time But yeah, the the shirts that are in there right now I'm just like those are like the standard ones man. I'm fucking hyped about those. It's it's it's super dope people

People fuck with it. A lot of people bought stuff and it was just really cool. Didn't expect that at all um Don't feel obligated by the way like oh, I need to support like no, I want this to be something that You know, if you don't like it, you don't like it. That's and that's fine because then I'm just gonna work harder to make it better Uh, but if you do like it then definitely Definitely cop definitely get it um Yeah

That's I think that's pretty much it. I don't really know what else to say honestly. I'm by myself 35 minutes is a long time man. Fuck um But yeah, um That is all I don't know what else to say. I need I need to go to bed. My fucking eyes are burning. I haven't taken my contacts out in two days I'm all fucked up. I'm probably blind Who knows?

Anyway, that is all thanks for listening. Yeah matter of fact guys You