The Basement Yard - Who The F*ck Is This Guy?

Episode Date: September 24, 2015

In this episode, you'll get a better understanding of my story & who I am as a person.. I think.. probably not but I tried. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up guys, welcome back to the basement yard. This is my personal podcast. I'm alone today. No guests. No fucking fun I'm gonna be talking to myself. This is gonna be the weirdest thing in the whole fucking world But the reason why no one's with me is because I'm doing this Real quick because I left until last second. I got to go to the city in an hour and a half Which is gonna be a fucking Disaster because the Pope is here the goddamn Pope. I shouldn't say that I shouldn't say goddamn Pope That's terrible. I'm sorry Jesus. If you're listening doubtful, but you know, I gotta say sorry just in case but Yeah, so the Pope's coming to New York City. They're closing down bridges. They're closing down all these blocks

So I can't drive so I got to take the subway Shit Jesus, I hate the subway if you if you're not from New York City, which most of you aren't but if you're not from New York City If you ever come here try not to take the subway All right, because it's just piss and poop all the whole thing You're sitting in piss or poop the whole time, you know, and if you're touching the poles, that's jizz So it's just piss poop and jizz jizz poop and piss Whatever combination you want to say it, but it's all there. I'm telling you just you know

Dip your hands and hand sanitizer after you get off. That's it. So that's what I gotta do I got to take the fucking subway in there, but it's gonna be terrible So, yeah, I'm this podcast is called the basement yard because Actually my mom named it but the reason why is because when we were when we were all younger Like we have the basement which is my room now and we have a front yard white picket fence very white shit, you know, so When we were too young to go play out in the yard because my mom didn't want to like keep it on I just like fuck that shit. I just want to watch Oprah like leave me alone

So we'd be like, hey, can we can we go play in the basement yard and that's where my room is now and that's where I record So she's like age you name it this I was like, yeah, it's pretty good. I don't have any other good ideas So, you know, that's what we're gonna call it. So that's that's the name. So yeah, I'm 23 years old living at home in my mom's basement Oh, I mean, but it's not it's not what it seems that I'm not living here because I'm a piece of shit I mean, I have a piece of shit, but not like one of those pieces of shit, you know what I mean? I'm not like mooching off of her the reason why I'm still here is because I was gonna move out about a year and a half ago, but

Yeah, we're staying we're staying back me and my brothers and my sister. We're staying home and We're helping my mom, you know We're gonna help pay off the house and then we're gonna sell the house and you know, we're gonna make sure everyone's cool So we're all helping each other Stay on our feet, you know, so that's what I've been doing for the past Two years or so help him pay for the house so he could sell it because now I'm technically a holy shit I almost broke this microphone Yeah, so we're paying for the house and that's why I'm still here

I'm not just like mooching off of her and trying to you know, be one of those guys who just stays here for his whole life But yeah, so that's why I'm here, you know, so yeah, it's just me my mom Who's a saint a fucking saint fucking? I just got like a Boston accent. Jesus. I watched black mass yesterday It was fucking crazy and I'm so jealous of people who have that Boston accent fucking wicked shit. I love it I love the accent. I can listen to people talk like that all day. There's that video that was going around the internet The guy who saw the guy who saw like a whale or like a fish or some shit and he was from Boston Oh my god is my favorite the fuck is that Jay? Oh

We're seeing something we never seen before kid. Oh my god. I love it. I can't really do it, but it's it's great I love that accent. It's amazing But yeah, so I have two brothers My brother Thomas who's the oldest and my brother Keith who's a psycho And then and then I got my my sister Shannon who's a bitch. No, well, you know sometimes but You know everyone is you know, I'm a bitch Anyway, but we have a dog who my mom and my sister love more than me

Which is always nice, but yeah, that's that's kind of it. You know, that's that's us We're living in this house. My dad lives in North Carolina a lot of people been asking about him or just making assumptions They're like oh his dad just just left them. No, that's not what happened. I have a great relationship with my father He lives in North Carolina now You know people's parents they separate and that's what happens, so he lives in North Carolina I'm probably gonna go visit him during the football season. Maybe catch a Panthers game or something That would be pretty sick watch Cam Newton run all over someone But yeah, so that's where he is. I have great parents though nice upbringing wasn't in these streets selling drugs and shit

Again making references to black mass. It was such a good movie if you guys if you guys get the time go to the movies Watch black mass Johnny Depp kills it It's fucking crazy, man, and everyone has a Boston accent, so it just makes the movies just so much fucking better It's awesome, but a lot of people Are interested in how I got started making these videos and shit, which it's it's fucking crazy By the way, my the Facebook page where I pretty much post everything has like 881,000 likes on it, which is fucking absurd and It's way too much right so

Like two two months ago or two and a half months ago. I don't fucking know. Let's just call it three. All right three months ago That page had 65,000 likes on it. There's only 65,000 people in there 65,000 so shit on don't get me wrong But there's 65,000 people on there, so Anyway, I'm telling the story out of fucking order anyway But I started making YouTube videos like four years ago because I was bored. I was like, hey fuck it Let me just start doing this. I like when I was younger. I had a camera, which I still have and it's like a camcorder and there's

Cassette tapes that you record onto so if you wanted to like edit there's no such fucking thing as editing you just had to rewind and Record over what you already recorded. You know what I mean? So you could you know, that was your way of editing and me and my friend Frankie we used to make the dumbest fucking Videos like the dumb like so dumb I have hours of footage of us just like wrestling and like being like fake wrestlers and Just like so dumb like one of my one of my wrestlers names was the shoe polisher So that should give you the fucking a fucking idea of how dumb this shit was and I can't find a charger for it

Like I still have the the the camera and the tapes So if I find the charger for it if I go to you know get off my LAS and go to Best Buy and buy a Charger if they still have it then I'm gonna I'm gonna see if I could put together like a compilation of this old shit That's so bad. I Was like 11 years old, but yeah, I was like into a video stuff like that and then when Facebook Came out with like you can leave videos on people's walls I would just do that shit all day like I would just leave videos on everyone's walls in high school and I actually have a screenshot. I posted on my Instagram

like Like two years ago. I posted it, but this kid had sent me he like wrote a comment on one of the videos He's like, oh man, you should start a YouTube channel and I was like, oh dude, I'm gonna And it was kind of like that's how it happens. I guess Forgot who it was, but whoever it was, you know good idea. So because that's that's helped me out right now but yeah, so I started I started making videos and Had this YouTube channel called Santa Gatto TV By the way, my last name's Santa Gatto

You know, it's pronounced how you fucking read it Santa Gatto people see Sanity and just and they see a G in there and they go, oh Santiago and they're like, oh, he's Spanish They just fucking assume that but I'm not Spanish and it's not Santiago. I'm Italian and Irish. It's Santa Gatto Irrelevant to what I was saying. I don't even know what the fuck I was talking. What the hell was I saying? Oh? Jeez, here we go. All fucked up. We're only eight minutes in I'm already forgetting shit Okay, and now the computer's freezing. Here we go but yeah, so that's a so I started making videos on Santa Gatto TV and At first I was just filming like me and my friends going to Connecticut because my friend has a house in Connecticut

and we were just getting drunk and You know playing beer games and you know, he has a lake and like a boat So I was like filming shit and then I like told myself how to use iMovie and put these videos together and put them out Not that not thinking anyone would enjoy it I just put it out because it was like cool to show my friends like hey look. This is us so you know they They that my friends enjoyed it and like there were a couple of people like I was like I was really into tumblr back then yeah

I was really into tumblr back then so I was posting them on tumblr and people were like oh, this is cool Like your friends are awesome like blah blah blah so Sounds like all right. Yeah, whatever so I kept making them I made like three I wasn't like making like a ton, but I made like three and then one day I was bored and I actually if you go if you go on YouTube and look the video is called a Talk about sluts which is like terrible because I was like young and It's just like the whole thing's like slut-shaming the whole thing. It's like it's just terrible But yeah, I made a video called that and my hair is terrible because the day before I had one of my friends

Shave my head like cut. I was like hey Just cut my hair with these clippers and like he didn't like give me a shape up or anything He just buzzed it and left it so so it's terrible. My hair cuts terrible. The video is awful and Yeah, that's that's the first video that I made that's kind of like what I'm doing now and And So I did that video and it got like 30 likes on Facebook and I was like Shit I am famous so I had 30 likes. I was like holy shit

So then the next week it just so happens that I put it out I put that video out on Tuesday in the next week. I put out another video about Facebook I think it was Facebook But I think yeah, it was Facebook. So I put a video out about Facebook and You know that got like 40 likes so I was like, oh my god. I'm on my way to the top So so I made that video and then I just kept making them. I was like fuck it. This is fun So I was just like ranting about things and I was just like fuck it. I'm gonna I'm gonna do this now and You know a lot of those videos

in the beginning are Really fucking bad Like the editing is terrible and like the content is there, you know what I mean my delivery That's like is terrible, you know and like the jokes are bad and just like but the cut like the ideas are there Like they just have so much potential That's why those videos get me so fucking mad because those videos they have potential like if I could remake them They would be so much better, but those suck. I was so bad But yeah, so that happened and then I just kept doing that and but the thing is the reason why so I had Santa

Gato TV, right? So I had that YouTube channel and I Signed up to Get paid for like ads on my videos and I got approved and I was like, oh man Just I'm gonna buy a ship and a fucking plane like I was just like y'all I'm gonna kill it So I remember They have like an account that you can look at and see how much money you're making Whatever and I remember when it got to one cent and I was like It was like a big deal to me not because it was one cent, but it was cuz like I'm making money off of doing

Something that I really holy fuck. I almost broke the mic again I was like I'm making money off of something I like doing So that was cool to me. I like screenshot it and I like saved it lost it so So I don't know what that screenshot is, but I remember making one cent and You know, that was cool None of the videos were getting like crazy amount of views like they get like 200 which it was dope to me I was like, yeah, 200 people are watching this like Legit, you know what I mean? And then once it started getting to like a thousand people are watching it. I was like

Like a thousand is if you think about a thousand people Do you know what that looks like like if you think if you gathered a thousand people like in the street That's a ton. That's a shit. That's a buttload. You know It's a ton of people thousand so I was like, all right, cool. So I just kept doing it like I was never like, hey This is gonna happen overnight. I'm just gonna blah blah blah. I wasn't really even expecting anything to come of it Like too much. I was just kind of like fuck it. I like doing this. Let me just make You know 200 people laugh or like not really laugh but kind of do that that breathing thing That makes them right LMAO like they think they're watching a video and they go

And that's LMAO, you know what I mean? So I mean as long as I get the breath I just want to make people breathe, you know, I just want them to laugh like that, you know Just one of those that's all I want. That's all I want life is to is to do that So I was doing that but then I got flagged. I got flagged for fucking God knows what and they're like, hey We're shutting you down. You're not making money so I Couldn't make money from doing it for two years. I did it for two years for free it was just a hobby and I went to college and I was like, all right fuck

so I went I went to college went to Queensborough Community College and I signed up late. I Told my parents that I Applied for colleges and I didn't Even though I was a good student like I've always been like a high 80s student Like it wasn't like a crazy a-plus student, but I was always like a good student You know what I mean? I was getting like 85s 88s like across the board. You know what I mean?

Except in gym dominating a-plus every fucking year But yeah, so that's what I was doing so I was like I just wasn't sure about college I didn't want to go away because I didn't want to spend a ton of money when I didn't know I didn't want to do so I Just went to I went to a community college because it's like fucking $1,100 for a semester or something so it was cheap, so I went there and My grades were fine since I signed up late. I had Saturday and Sunday classes Are you fucking kid like 19 years old 18 at 19 18 years old?

I have Saturday and Sunday classes in the morning So it was 8 a.m. Math classes fucking sucked but I went and I did a semester and then I just didn't go back and I Even signed up for classes for another semester and then I started going to them But after a week, I just would drive to the school Park outside and just not going because like I just I didn't have it in me to go in I don't know what it was, but I just felt like you know, this isn't

My path right now. You know what I mean? So that's that's so I stopped doing that and then I was just a piece of shit for a year. I Didn't have a job. I was making these videos. I wasn't really expecting it to be like oh, this is gonna be you know This is gonna be my job. I just kind of like doing it was just like a thing to pass the time But I didn't have a job. I was doing these videos and I was just garbage For a year honestly, it's just there's no other way to put it I think I was 19 years old didn't do anything then I finally got a job and I was delivering pizzas

for this Pizzeria and my god, you meet the fucking craziest people Delivering pizzas I love that job too because you make so much money especially for the the pizzeria around here like it's a popular pizzeria and I Could walk it like I was working the best days. I was working like Thursday Friday Saturday nights and You you walk away with like a hundred and thirty dollars a night in cash So that's just you your paycheck is like horseshit like whatever you get paid My paycheck was like 70 bucks or something show like that, but I was I was walking away every week. I'm a cash

So I was like oh sick. I'm chillin I'm rich. I got I got 400 bucks in my room. I'm chillin So that's what I thought but I stopped working there because I got listen to this a guy on a motorcycle Right. I'm parking my car. It was my dad's big-ass fan and I'm parking it And I'm already in the spot like the only thing that's sticking out into the street is the front of my car So I just have to you know swing the front of it in and I'm good So the the back is all lined up with the rest of the cars on the block and I'm there

So this guy in a motorcycle this drunk guy in a motorcycle Swerves around a car and hits the back of the car that I'm in I Hear fucking So that's not like a fart did not sound like that. It's not like fucking thunder hit the van So then I look to my right and I just see a body flying like through the air Like outside the passenger window and does a front flip lands on his back in the street and I am Fucking

Terrified I'm like I just killed the person I just killed a person I just killed a person even though even if that person had died I did not kill anyone because I was not moving I Should have to throw that in there, but I threw so I throw my car into park and I get out and The guy is moving around thank God I'm like oh my god, and I'm my whole body shaking like I'm stand I look like I'm dancing because I'm shaking literally Shaking like my everything is moving and there's these two people that saw everything like dude. I saw everything don't worry about it I know you weren't at fault. He swerves around a car blah blah blah, so I'm like cool

And I'm talking to this guy this guy was such a dick on the ground, but the first thing That I noticed about him is that he had a fucking cigarette in his hand Which means? He was on his bike swerves around a car Hits my car does a front flip lands on his back and Still held on to a cigarette and I swear

To the pulp in New York City that this guy was smoking the cigarette as he's laying on the on the ground with a I don't know Shattered back. I don't fucking know and the guy kept yelling at me to pick him up. I'm like, dude I'm not picking you up You could be hurt. I can pick you up your spine your spine snaps in half. We all die. Well, not we you die But it was like crazy, and he was like talking to me wasn't making sense So like that's what happened. That's why I got fired. Well, I didn't get fired I was just kind of like I can't work because first of all I don't have a car now and also this is just not a good look for The pizzeria, so let me just not you know work here

So, yeah, so I was doing that. So I was doing that making videos And I was just doing that But yeah, I still was not going to school. I Bounced around I went around I went I bounce around jobs. I worked at another pizzeria. I worked those other place and Then I decided hey, you know what I can't do this forever Let me just make a new actually I'm lying so I was doing that and then I was running out of money and

I was like I can't do this YouTube thing and spend so much time on it and Do it for free forever. So I was like, alright, let me just fucking I Was like, let me I told I told my oldest brother because he's like, you know He's like my fucking role model like I always go to him. He's my guy. So I tell I told him like dude I'm really I explained the situation and he's you know on board with whatever and I'm just kind of like hey You know, I think this is gonna be the last summer that I do this otherwise You know, I'm just gonna quit and just go back to school and do you know something else

I don't know like I was being realistic with myself because I was 21 I was 21 at the time when I said this and I was like, I can't you know I can't spend all my time doing on this thing when it's a hobby not making money off of it So let me just you know, whatever Then You know a couple months later It was like August and I was kind of like ready to pack it in and I get a call from this guy that I know who runs a website and

He's like, hey, can you come in and be in this sketch? We're gonna pay you $150 to be an extra or whatever just to be in the sketch I was like, oh, yeah, dude 150 bucks. I'm there because I had no fucking money I had like $200 in my name. So I went there did the sketch and At the end he was kind of like, hey, you know, we are Trying to build the video department. Do you want to work here? like part-time and You know, we'll blah blah blah and I was like, yeah

Thanks, please. So I started working the company's called elite daily very successful now very successful Best job I ever had the CEOs are like the greatest dudes that I've met like they saved me You know what I mean? Like if they didn't give me that job I was gonna quit video all together and go do like Psychology or some shit. I'm not trying to downplay psychology, but I just not it's not like my first interest But yeah, so they brought me in and I was working there And it was great because I was learning I was I was learning a bunch of stuff. I was learning from this guy, Greg Parker who's still a good friend of mine

he he's an editor and producer and I was there working as an editor and Like writing scripts and like filming sketches and shit like that and we're putting out videos So I was doing that for a while I did that for two years and we we We started with just three guys in the video department and when I had left which I only left about I think Four months ago or five months ago something like that when I left there was like 30 something people just doing video Which was crazy and the whole company when I first got there were 30 people and then when I left I

Want to say there was at like 70 80 people who are working there now Like they did the growth was absurd and I learned so much and I'm like incredibly thankful for that job At elite daily and you know it was a lot of fun I got to travel like a flew to LA to to film with a bunch of Content creators, even though I fucking hate LA. Oh my god hate it Jesus Christ, I just I don't know. I don't know what it is. I just don't like anyone out there I feel like I don't know. There's like cool people sure, but as a whole God, I hate it

I'm such an East Coast person. I Like New York people. I feel like in LA everyone has like a hidden agenda. They're always like, hey, what's up? How many follows you that like they're always have like weird fucking. It's just like, I don't really like it I'll never I'll never live there. I'm gonna try and stay East Coast, you know Maybe get a house in Miami if I'm rich enough, you know Fucking that's a nice place but yeah, so then I left that job and Then I was like because I left the job because I had saved a

Good amount of money to live I was like I have this money We're good, you know because I was working there full-time for two years and You know, I learned so much. I was like, let me try to take the knowledge that I had from here And the experience and just kind of focus it on my own personal career for a while So that's what I did. I stopped working there and then I started focusing on my my videos and stuff like that so Then so that's this is where it comes back to this page had 65,000 likes on it, you know, two and a half months ago so But then all the fucking stuff like I've never gone like viral or anything

You know what I mean, but then one day I put this video on the Facebook page and it went fucking nuts It went crazy. I'm gonna go check it right now. I'm gonna check the numbers, but like I remember watching The video like do insane people are sharing the shit out of it people are like, oh, dude, you're hilarious I'm like, who are you people? Like what the fuck's going on and like people were like loving it So it was nuts. Oh, I gotta find the numbers here. It is so it was shared 244,000 times and there's 160 60,000 likes on it and Like 35 and then there's like 9 million views like dude, that's a that's insane. That's crazy Christ and now there's a 800,000 likes on this page

If it hits a million, I'm gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry, but I'm gonna you know shit myself There's I'm I'm gonna do something like that incredibly thankful That people are enjoying it, you know that are enjoying it that much. That's that's fucking nuts, man It's pretty crazy. It's surreal It's wild to think that you know, the growth is crazy man And and I've received so many messages and a lot of I've answered a ton of messages on Facebook because I Just like it's like I don't know It's just some weird feeling that I get when I read these messages and everyone's like dude

Like you made my week with this video or like I you know, I showed everyone at work this video or like You're fucking hilarious. You got you know, I had a Bad day and now I came home and you made this video and it just made it better It's like crazy that people are saying stuff like that to me because you know I'm just a kid who worked in a pizzeria and got hit by a drunk motorcyclist, you know so it's wild that uh, that um That people can can do that and it's just crazy and I hope that

that's kind of Inspiration of people because I try to tell people all the time like listen I'm not that special, you know, I mean, I'm not like some fucking I'm not Boda. I Don't know if that's a pretty bad example, but I'm not like anyone special So if I can like do something like that, it's you a hundred percent you could do something like that I know I'm getting real fucking Disney Channel right now, but I'm serious If you want to do some shit just think about let's do it Joe. He's living

He's he's in his basement, you know He's got a he's got a podcast in this fucking web series that he's doing and people love it from a basement In New York City, you know, so if that so if I could do that I'm sure as hell you can make it through nursing school and be way fucking cooler than me so, uh, yeah, so anyway, I put I put this thing on Facebook and I said, you know, I'm recording a podcast soon. Let me know if you want to know anything about me or Something you want me to talk about and this girl keeps saying in Walmart people kept telling me to talk about Walmart I don't do what first of all. I live in New York City. I haven't seen a Walmart

I've seen one Walmart in my entire life Actually, I've seen two and one of them was on a South Park episode the one where everyone's like shitting themselves That's only what I've ever seen. I've seen one Walmart It's because I drove upstate with one of my friends and the only thing I know about Walmart is that It was very Jewish. There was a ton of Jews there like Hasidic juice like with the the curls and the hats and the the suits or whatever those called the jackets or something, but yeah, there was like a ton of juice It was wild. I don't know if that's the case, you know everywhere, but I think it's just the area But yeah, that's the only thing I know about Walmart and apparently you could buy guns there and like grenades and shit

Which is kind of wild. I mean, I've never I've never fucking worked there But what is crazy like I wish there was a Walmart near me because apparently people are like, oh, dude You gotta talk about Walmart the fuck's going on at this place. Is there naked people running around shitting in the aisles? What's going on? Christ So, alright, so what else we got on here? Talk about Dating from a guy's perspective and we're gonna skip over that one

Tell things men tell women to get laid dude, I mean a Guy will say whatever the fuck he's got to say I Once told a girl I was Scott Pesednik and a lot of you don't know who that is But he's a professional baseball player and Like I'm a standard-looking white dude. There's nothing like unique about me Like physically like I'm just across the board standard like whenever you play one of those video games

And you're gonna create a player when you create them and they just give you the standard in the beginning I don't change a thing. That's what I look like my license I can give it out to any of my friends when we were underage because I have a couple friends that are younger than me I could give my license To any of them and they would you know get into bars because it looks like everyone So I would tell people I was Scott Pesednik. That was a professional baseball player You know it never worked, but you know, that's what I told people so I mean Guys will say what the fuck they got to say

Here we go stupid drivers not using signal lights. I'm one of those people. I'm it's really bad I only use my signal light on the highway, but I never use it in the street because I'm fucking dumb. Don't do that What else we got another Walmart people what? Dude, I really got a visit of Walmart another guy Walmart people would be funny dude. What the fuck another one Weirdos of Walmart. Why don't shoppers wear pajamas and slippers to Target to shop is there a dress code at Target? Wait, what the? Dude, what is going on at Walmart? I really got to know Someone said tender. All right. Let's talk about tender for a little bit. So I

used to have a tender like a year ago or a year and a half ago and Dude tinder is fucking great. Oh, man. It wasn't good. I didn't use it to like hook up with people. I use it strictly just to Be weird. I don't know. I was just like what I would do I was I would search 30 miles, right? So 30 miles from where I am In all directions 30 miles and then I'll put the age group To 30 to 55 so no one younger and no one older 30 to 55 Those eight that age range and I would just swipe and talk to these, you know old Cougars all day. I thought it was hilarious

So That's what happened to me. That's what I did on the tender I don't know how everyone else use it. I don't people like are banging people off of it But I don't know. I just find it. It's isn't it correct like dude. You could die from tender Like there has to be people who have died from tender I got kidnapped or just punched in the eye at least at least a punch in the eye Like dude, think about it. If I'm a girl, right for the most part Guys are stronger than girls. You know what I mean for the most part, of course

There are crossfit chicks that could beat this shit out of me You know in seconds One punch. I'm on the ground. There's a fucking crossfit gym near me. Every time I walk by it. There's like a little girl Fucking doing 50 pull-ups and then carrying a grown-ass man down the street running full speed Like she could fucking kill me. You know what I mean, but for the most part There's these little cute girls that are you know They're just not as strong as men and there's men For the most part men even if you're a big fat piece of shit like you can out you can power overpowered

I'm so dumb. It's crazy. So I they can overpower a woman. So think about Tinder, right? You're only seeing pictures. You're not really like talking There should be like a FaceTime thing on Tinder should be a FaceTime option So you can see who you're talking to so you know that they're cool but if you're Just some some girl, right some little cute girl and you know You meet this guy and you think he's good looking and you guys hit it off and then you go to meet up with him There's a chance that this could be some just sick dude

Who was just like gonna kidnap you? You know what I mean? Tinder's fucking scary man. I would not be on that. I wouldn't even I wouldn't meet up with anyone off Tinder at all Unless we had like 20 mutual friends and I hit them up. I was like, hey, is she not a raper Rapist and then maybe like yeah, she's cool, and then I would do it, but other than that. No What else we got here politics that would be interesting. Here's my here's my opinion on on politics That was it right there, I don't have an opinion because I don't I'm not educated enough to have an opinion on politics I know Donald Trump. I

Know that if he became president, I would be happy and sad Sad because I mean it's Donald Trump Happy because then we got four years of just one-liners. This guy's gonna be saying the wildest shit at These these speeches these speeches he's got to give can you imagine a state of the union address with Donald Trump? Be a fucking Comedy show would be great He'd probably make it illegal to be Rosie O'Donnell. She'll be getting arrested every day. Like are you Rosie O'Donnell? Yeah, it's against the law gets a fucking jail. He would do that. He's a crazy fuck

What else we got? Dudes at the gym being stupidly too modest to take a shower after a sweaty workout What? That was so oddly specific that's such a weird thing. Oh Man, dude, so that I mean I have a funny gym story I was at the gym and You know, I don't know how it goes down in other gyms But for the most part old dudes hate wearing pants in the locker room for some whatever reason

Like all back in my day. We all saw each other's dicks, dude. That's great 2015 put your dick away But um anyway one day I went to the gym and I'm like working out whatever and then I go to leave so I go to get myself in the locker room and There's this wall You know like in the bathroom Like I was like washing my hands and there's like this wall like next to the showers and I see this old guy Who like I was helping earlier like with his when he needed a spot or whatever so he was like saying what's up I mean, he was just saying like thank you whatever and he has a shirt on right

But I can't see his lower half because of this fucking wall. I just see his torso and up so he's got a shirt on so I'm talking to the guy and and He's you know, he's just saying oh, yeah, thank you by the way And then we just started talking about like sports or whatever and he's and then I was like alright do him head now And he's puts his hand out He's like alright see you later like to like shake his hand and then I go to I'm walking over to him to shake his hand He steps out from behind the wall. This guy's got his dick out

No pants no boxers not even like a Like us not even socks. He just had a shirt on like dude. What's what the fuck? So I any long story short. I shook this guy's hand Who had no his dick was out? He was like 70 something The guy had a shirt on no pants no boxers no socks Just naked from the waist down shook his hand and got out of there. I was like dude. I Just feel like you tricked me Jesus

Deceitful, I don't know if that's the right word but yeah So what else we got going on on Facebook here? What else do we got here what pisses you off would be a nice thing to talk about that's like everything I Put out that's exactly what it is Oh man another Walmart dude you gotta be kidding me. What the fuck is happening at Walmart? I really want to know we have target. I go to target you buy everything you get pants shirts like a pool Starbucks like there's tons of shit. I don't really know the difference

I'm dying man my throat actually hurts right now Let's see social media trolls. Oh, thank God someone wrote that all right. I have a huge problem first of all Like you ever go to like Justin Bieber's Twitter. I Know a lot of dudes went no what? Relax dude, but you ever go to Justin Bieber's Twitter and You just like click on a tweet and you can see like the replies Always the first reply is like this like 11 year old girl like

Justin Shit in my pussy like just wild shit like why are you writing that? And it's strictly for shock value and like when you click on their profile. They have like 11,000 followers I'm guessing it's because other little kids are like oh hilarious. I'm gonna follow this troll So that's what that person does like non-stop is they just write The grossest wildest shit under famous people's Tweets and hope that someone sees it and they get some attention good or bad, which is you know So dumb I just hate it like when people like oh my god, you got

Justin piss in my ear like just wild shit like dude if I like I want to like I Wish I could like look up their phone number and call their house and tell their parents and Then get that on video of their parents going to the room like did you tell Nick Jonas? to poop in your mouth and then nail you and Then we'll see how they how they uh You know How how that goes? So yeah, that's I hate those people. You know what else I hate. I fucking hate like listen

It's 40 minutes in I don't know how much you stuck around for the whole thing But here's an important thing to know about me. I fucking hate Like youtubers as a whole I just I hate it because they're the weirdest people in the world and there's only a select few that I kind of like like because they're people you know, but a lot of these kids are they Got some fame when they were younger like younger meaning like 1718 and Now they just walk around like they shit golden bricks like dude you need to fucking relax

God so I just hate YouTube all together and I even hate even more These fucking social experiments on YouTube my god the dumbest shit and you people are falling for it It's not even real. They're paying actors to be in it. I don't know how People are even believing it for a second. I saw a video of a social experiment the dumbest shit So this kid dresses up as a fucking stereotypical nerd She's got his pants high and glasses on and he's talking like this. So yeah, you get it You're a fucking nerd. So he walks over to this chick and he's like, hey, can I take you out on a date and she's like no So he's like

Okay, like whatever and he just fucking walks away and then 20 minutes later This kid dresses up like a stereotypical thug Right boxers are showing his fucking jeans or baggy as shit below his ass Big-ass shirt to wreck and like sunglasses or some shit and he walks up to this girl and he's talking Hey, it was good mom. Like it's good. You can I highlight you like let me get it? Let me get that that is boy and she and she's like What the she and she and then uh, she's like into it. She's like, well, I don't know like what's your name? What's good like my name like Jerry like what's good like I'm really I'm really feeling you

You know I'm saying like and then long story short He talked to her like that for a while and then she ends up jerking them off and brought daylight under a tree and Then and then uh She's like can I call you and then he takes his glasses off and he goes no you can't call me remember me I was then I was a nerd 20 minutes ago and you didn't like me But now you know you give me a hand job. Are you serious? Are you seriously? Are you seriously? Are you seriously like are you serious? So but like come on that's the fake as shit like I can't believe you're falling for that shit like that's not real

God, I mean, I'm sure some of them are real but majority of them are not even Like believable and you guys are like I can't believe this shit like dude. No, this is not an accurate representation of society No one's just beating off dudes because They say I'm really feeling you and she's like dude. I'm down. I'll jerk you over right here Not to mention who's who's giving out fucking HJ's and who's filming their buddy? Getting a full-blown hand job

Under a tree in broad daylight You know if that was me and it was real and I'm the cameraman I would be like all right. Yeah, we get it like you don't have to like come like just Like dude get like, you know let her grab it and be like, oh, yeah, we're doing a social experiment. This dude waited You know until he got the full thing and then was like oh by the way You're a bitch because you ignored me as a nerd like dude. That's the fakeest fucking video ever all these stupid

Social experiments everything's a social experiment now Like what the fuck? You're not spreading awareness. You're just like Trying to get money and like views It's so dumb. Everything you do is a social experiment or a prank. Oh god the pranks too Pranks are awful. I hate it. Dude. Let me like everyone wants to be Ashton Kutcher punked but it's like stupid fucking Planned out pranks that are just

You know whatever of course there are there are people who make real pranks, but dude to to sit there and like when you see like random ones on Facebook it's like dude. I know these kids set this up. I know it. You know what I mean? Like hey, do me a favor Just punch me in the face When I ask you a question And I'm like, yeah, okay. I love it. I'll punch you right in the face And that's what happens. You know what I mean? There was that one video that guy walking around Boston with a Fucking Yankee jersey on some guy fucking was like swinging at him like dude. That would never happen. It didn't happen

No, it's fake. I don't believe it for a second He'd like fake hit some too. He like doesn't really hit him He just kind of like grazes his chin. This guy was not trying to hurt you. You clearly set this up. I'm not falling for it It's bullshit. I I Sound like an angry fucking old guy But I don't know I guess I am I guess I am an angry old fuck even though I'm fucking 23 years old God

But yeah, anyway, I'm gonna wrap this shit up. I got a head to the city fucking pulp Shit, I Used I could get there in 20 minutes. I'm gonna take the subway. It's gonna take an hour and a half Horseship Yeah, man So thanks for for listening Thanks for listening, I think I'm going insane. I'm laughing at myself at the point at this point You know what I mean? 45 minutes in I'm laughing at myself. I'm losing my fucking mind

But yeah, I'm gonna try and put these out once a week Maybe twice a week if you know whenever something comes up I'm like, hey, I'm gonna try and get it out at least once a week is what I'm saying So I'm gonna try and get it out at least once a week But you know if it pops up more than once it happens whatever whenever Some topic pops up. I'm like, hey fuck it. I'm turning the microphone on and let's let's let's start talking You know what I mean? So so that's what's that's what's gonna happen. So look forward to that. You can subscribe to this on SoundCloud or

just go on your iPhone and type in the basement yard into the podcast app and A picture of me will pop up and you go ahead and click on that and subscribe and you'll get Notified when the new When the new podcast go out, you know, so that is me. That's me and a nutshell. Joe Sanagato I'm trying to make these videos for you guys even though I ran out for I ran out of ideas for videos fucking A year and a half ago. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing for next Tuesday I don't know what I'm doing for the Tuesday after that. I have no ideas this last week

I had no idea until Tuesday. I woke up and I was like, oh fuck and I you know came I saw the I someone actually wrote the idea on my Facebook and was like, hey, you should do this I was like sick. So thank God you guys are helping me with these ideas So keep telling me ideas or things you want me to talk about in the podcast or whoever you want me to Have on the podcast like I could bring this equipment anywhere. So anyone who's like New York based or surrounding area You want me to have them on I'll contact them and try to have them on and we'll see if it could be a

an entertaining podcast I Don't know why I did that Yeah, man, so that's all for this for this fucking episode. I'm done fuck it I need a glass of water and a pizza or something entire pizza All right guys, I'm getting out of here, but thank you for listening