The Bechdel Cast - Alien with Eliza Skinner

Episode Date: May 18, 2017

Space travelers Jamie and Caitlin invite guest Eliza Skinner onto their spacecraft, but she might have brought something with her...lots of insight and laughs!(This episode contains spoilers)Follow @elizaskinner on Twitter! While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @hamburgerphone   Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. That's right, the only, Katherine Hahn is joining us on Las Culturistas. That's right, the queen of comedy herself. Get ready for a conversation that's as hilarious

as it is insightful. Tune in for all the laughs, the stories, and of course, the culture. Don't miss Katherine Hahn on Las Culturistas. Listen to Las Culturistas on Will Ferrell's

Big Money Players Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Kay hasn't heard from her sister in seven years. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do.

What was that? That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. Can Kay trust her sister, or is history repeating itself? There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app,

Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Bechdelcast, the questions asked if movies have women in them. Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism? The patriarchy's effin' vast, start changing it with the Bechdel cast. Hi, welcome to the Bechdel cast. My name is Jamie. My name is Caitlin.

And this is our podcast about how women are portrayed in movies. Yeah, it's the Bechdel cast. It is. This is my first time talking to anybody today, so that's why I don't know how to string a sentence together. I talked to someone at the DMV today. He was very nice. His name was Arnold, and he was like, why don't you have a driver's license? And I was like, honestly, it's a really long story.

And he was like, okay, don't worry about it. It's fine. So we're very close now. Good. Yeah. Last time I was at the DMV, I cried in public because I failed the written test. Do you have to take, like in California, I had to switch over my Massachusetts license and I had to retake the written test, which I did not pass because they asked me questions

that were not relevant to me at all. They're like, how do you strap in a car seat or something like that? And I was like, I ain't never having kids. Was that not an option? That was not an option. That was not an option. They did not let me choose that. That was not like, F, ain't never having kids.

Unbelievable. I know. The system is rigged. really is yeah anyway shout out to Arnold at window 4 at the Glendale DMV he saw my birth certificate today which is good it's amazing I still have it because I've been passing it around at stand up stuff

recently just to like I don't know but I don't know people enjoy it though cool yeah hey should we talk about movies I don't know. But I don't know. People enjoy it, though. Cool. Yeah. Hey, should we talk about movies? I don't know. Yeah.

Okay. You know what? We should. Okay. All right. Let's talk about movies. Yes. As we mentioned, this is a podcast about the portrayal of female characters in movies. Sure is.

Whoops. A lot of movies don't do it very well. Sure don't. And we're going to call it out. But this movie actually does. Well, we'll talk about't. And we're going to call it out. But this movie actually does. Well, we'll talk about it. But we're here with a guest. And let's introduce her.

Okay. Again, I'm very bad at talking today. I wish I was drunk. Okay. Where's the Mike's Heart? Where is it? That's the real question. Where is the Mike's Heart?

Anyway, our guest here with us today, she's a very funny stand-up comic. She is a writer on The Late Late Show with James Corden. And she has her own podcast called Angry Little Goats, which she co-hosts with Will Weldon, who you might remember from our Mad Max Fury Road episode. A friend of the cast. Friend of the cast. The episode we got all that hate mail about. Yeah, we did. From all those steampunks.

And now we have a new friend of the cast, our guest, Eliza Skinner. Hello. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having me. Did you really get hate mail when Will came on? Well, it wasn't specifically about him. It wasn't directed at him. As much as we would love to blame him for it.

No, I think I was the target of most of the vitri of the vitriol well because we did uh mad max fury road was the episode we did with will and i i guess called out the steampunk culture a little too hard i guess i was a little too tough on the steampunks and apparently the steampunks are listening to the podcast because hello steampunks hey shout out to all of all you dirty steampunks out there we still got we still have beef i think that maybe steampunks that's the only okay prejudice to have is versus steampunks i think it's i don't even know if it's that much of a real thing like i i worked on a show one time you're preaching to the

choir where we were like hey we need to find steampunk people. As far as a lifestyle thing. And nobody, we couldn't find anybody. We ended up finding one lady who, when she showed up, she's like, oh no, this isn't my life. I just have this outfit and get paid to wear it for parties sometimes. I'm like, oh.

I got a group onto a steampunk festival once because I just wanted to face my fears. Did you go? Yeah, I went. What? Was it super fun? It wasn't.

It was upset everyone. There were just gears and suede vests. It was disgusting. It made me sick. Well, hey, the movie we're talking about, I think, has no trace of steampunk culture. No, no steampunk culture in this one. Yay for thatampunk culture. No, no steampunk culture in this one. Yay for that. Space culture.

A lot of space culture. Because the movie we're talking about is Alien. Yay! From 1979. Directed by Ridley Scott. Eliza. Yes. When did you first see this movie?

What's your history with it? Gosh, I don't know. I must have probably seen it for the first time in high school i remember when aliens came out because they're the cover of uh mad magazine was like one of the first mad magazines i i had they did a parody of it yeah and i didn't understand at all but i was like fascinated so then when I was older, I saw that. So you saw Aliens before Alien. Yes. Got it. So yeah, I must have been in high school when I finally saw Alien. Gotcha. What about you, Jamie? Yesterday. Nice. Really? Yeah. Wow. Do you like sci-fi?

I don't even know that I like movies very much. Okay. I like cartoons and television uh but i i and true crime and oh and true crime yes so did you know what did you know about it going into it um i knew that i had to keep reminding myself that it was not aliens which i watched the first 10 minutes of before realizing i should be watching Alien. Oh, shoot. That spoiled so much stuff for you. Yeah, I mean, it did. But also, you know, sci-fi is like not my area of extreme interest. So I was sort of going into this one like, all right, we're going to get through this. Jamie, it's going to be fine.

I got some jack in the box. I hunkered down and watched the first 10 minutes of Aliens. And then all of it. And you're like, why is Bill Paxton in this? Oh, my God. And then I wanted to watch Big Love, but it wasn't an option. Time was of the essence. Well, yeah, because one of the interesting things I think about Alien is that initially watching it,

audiences didn't know who the protagonist was going to be. Right, Yeah. So it sort of unfolds in an interesting way, the evolution of each character. I had enough peripheral knowledge of Sigourney Weaver. I knew who was the focus. But other than that, I was just like, it takes place in space. And there's a movie that is frustratingly sounds exactly like it that I will get confused with but it's space working class it's true yes it's yeah they're like or the plumbers yeah what type of ore we don't know i'm not important space or space or moon or moon or not moon I saw the movie I think probably in college for the first time

and I think I saw Aliens like right after it too but those are the only two I've seen I have not I'll be honest I prefer Aliens I think I do too I think that Alien is the better movie and certainly better acted because my goodness does Bill Paxton give

an insane performance in Aliens. Don't talk shit about Bill Paxton. I will flip out. No, I mean he's enjoyable to watch. He's given some pretty cheesy dialogue and his acting is extremely over the top which I think is perfectly

appropriate for that type of movie. Have you seen him in Twister? He's awful! But, yeah, he's capable of performances that range from bad to good. Yep. Rest in peace. But yeah, I think Aliens is

definitely more my speed of an action guns and stuff. Again, I'm very good with words today but they're creeping around yeah it's honestly i did not ever really draw this parallel until a recent rewatch of aliens but it is quite similar to jurassic park and it's in terms of its like story structure at least um which is one of my favorite movies ever so i was like oh man this is basically just like jurassic park but with aliens instead of dinosaurs anyway jamie did did you like the movie did you like alien i did i enjoyed it as much as i could enjoy a sci-fi movie like i i

like it's it's definitely not my wheelhouse but i i you know it's like once you get into it you're like okay there's gonna be a creature it's gonna be covered in goop. We're going to beat the creature up. More goop. So I was ready for creatures and goop. Sure. I enjoyed it. What is your wheelhouse, if that's not? My wheelhouse is kind of all over the board.

I mean, most of the movies I like are older, which we don't usually cover here. Mid-century older? Yeah, like 40s and 50s is my jam. Much better female characters back then. Sometimes. Which are more complex. Yeah. A lot of times, I think.

They let them be more... They at least have personalities, even when they're confined to the house. I love sci-fi, but I have a real bias against boy stories. Stories that are just like all about dudes from a male point of view. Like I really, it's not, I don't look at them and then judge them. I just honestly cannot connect with them.

Right. But I love sci-fi. And so I've found a lot of sci-fi that kind of works around that for me. Especially books. Yeah. Probably even like my love of sci-fi books kind of brought around that for me, especially books. Yeah. You've probably even, like my love of sci-fi books kind of brought me into

liking movies a little bit more. Well, it's time for the Caitlin recap. Caitlin recap. Okay. Do-do-do. This story revolves around a crew on a spacecraft called the

Nostromo. Mm-hmm. And they have just come back from mining the moon ore or whatever. They're woken up from their, like, hyper sleep because there's a distress signal or something like that coming from a planet. They're like, oh, man, we've got to go check it out. And it's a crew of seven people. There's Dallas, played by Tom Skerritt.

He's the captain. Then we've got Brett, which is Harry Dean Stanton. Kane is played by John Hurt. Ash is Ian Holm. Parker is Yafit Kodo. Then we've got Ripley, a.k.a. Sigourney Weaver. And then Lambert, which is Veronica Cartwright. And don't forget Jonesy the cat.

Yay! Anyway, so that's the crew. And introducing Jonesy the cat. Yay! Anyway, so that's the crew. And introducing... Jonesy as himself. You know that apparently it was originally all male characters? Mm-hmm. It doesn't surprise me one bit. Yeah, it was written all...

Supposedly written gender neutral, but that means men. They wrote the male as men. And I've heard one of the drafts of it was done by Walter Hill, who did 48 Hours and Streets of Fire and a bunch of stuff. And he just changed, he and his writing partner changed those two characters into women, but then didn't change any of the other dialogue. Which I think is, yeah, like a smart thing to be taken away from that. I mean, Amy Poehler at one point, I know is famously quoted as saying, someone was like, they don't know how to write for women. She was like, just write a man and then give it a woman's name. Yeah, just write a person. Yeah.

Because guess what? Women are people. Whoa, what? Crazy. Yeah. Crazy thing. That's interesting. I mean, and that checks out with Ripley's character.

Yeah. Because there's not, I don't know, she's not put upon as a, like, that's not central to the plot, which I thought was kind of refreshing. She's in fact very, like, cold and unlikable. Yeah. Which you never get to see. I mean, or if you do, it's, like, extremely demonized and that's very rarely you know the central character which is nice yeah because people love bad boys they love a bad boy people love seven seasons of a prestige bad boy uh but we never get we never get even 90 minutes of a bad girl yeah yeah back to the very good recap

no it's okay we encourage tangents that's what this podcast is all about so they're on a ship and they're awoken because there's like a weird distress signal of some sort coming from a planet so they go to check it out

and a few of the guys are like oh man what's this weird alien ship that's on this planet? And John Hurt is like, oh, man, there's some weird pods. I better go look inside one. And then a weird hand alien is what I would like to describe it as. Attaches itself to John Hurt's face. A face hugger. A little face hugger.

That's what we call them them face huggers. And they're like, oh, geez, John, let's get you back to the ship. And Ripley. It goes straight through his helmet.

Yeah. Yeah. It's quite the face hug. It's a very intimate face hug. One of the, well, I mean, those and the pods are like the beginning of the, the overt sexual imagery.

Like really, really gross. Oh yeah. There's some. Like, really, really gross. Oh, yeah. Because pussies are gross. Pussies are disgusting. Disgusting. And they lay it on thick here. Oh, yeah.

They do. So they're like, we got to get John back on the ship. And Ripley's like, oh, that's kind of like breaking protocol. He's got to go through quarantine. She straight up is like, no way. Yeah. That's against protocol. That's not happening no and it all like everything would have been fine if they just listen to her but everybody's like what a cunt

yikes uh rules were made to be broken so we all get killed by aliens Be cool about it, Rip. Yeah, totally. So they let him, the face-hugged John Hurt, onto the spacecraft. Sure. And he's in a coma, and they're like, how do we get this thing off? And they try to cut it off, and then it bleeds acid. They're like, oh, fuck, man, that's crazy. And then all of a sudden, he's alive and well again. So they're like, oh, this is fine. And then he gives birth through his chest basically yeah there's a lot of birth in in oh yeah yeah there's lots of dicks

lots of pussies lots of birth the um when the facehugger's on him you know like so like what's happening is he's impregnated yeah it's impregnated so he's like basically shoving his facehugger dick down his throat yeah um and what one of the things I find kind of funny about it is after it dies, like after it falls off and it's just like dead. And I'm like, dude, I get it. Snoo City, right? At this point, just like, don't even touch me. I just want to be a dead spider thing i already just down your throat so that's it for me speaking of jizz oh slick transition ian holm aka ash aka the fucking cyborg robot guy full of jizz yeah he's got jizz blood man so much the worst kind of blood yeah yeah there's no uh will and i actually talked about it on the podcast a few weeks ago that were like what's the worst kind of sci-fi blood we were both like milk blood but it's really jizz blood yeah yeah it's the

worst totally and then he's all covered with it yeah it's a head skipping ahead i took a few screenshots there yeah yeah just for you know i feel like that's the kind of screenshot someone's trying to get you to send them like a like like a sexy. Right. I'd be like, oh, wow. Me after seeing your fucking gross dick pic. I'm just covered in jizz goop, spiritually speaking. Yeah, of course. So John Hurt's like, man, things are great.

And then he an alien bursts out of his chest, of course. So John Hurt's like, man, things are great. And then an alien bursts out of his chest, killing him. And then the alien's like, all right, see ya. I'm going to go hide over here now. So they're like, oh, shit, we've got to go catch this thing. And the crew starts looking for it. And somehow in a span of what seems like a few hours, it grows to adulthood in, I don't know, a day or something. It's crazy. They all grow so fast.

It feels like a day, but I feel like they don't place enough coming of age nostalgia in regards to how quickly the little baby grows up. They really don't. I wanted to see that alien's journey to adulthood. Where was Boyhood? I never realized until you just said that uh that that was the same alien i was just like suddenly there's all these aliens on the ship yeah i didn't get that it was the same one who grew up yeah i'm dumb no um i mean they don't it's confusing because

it's literally a baby fetus alien basically and then in the next scene, you see it, which is presumably a few hours later. It's not really a dress. It would have been cool to have gotten, like, a few, like, some, like, screeching, growing pain sort of moments of it. I feel like that would have been cool. Like, a shadowy, or, like, found some leftover skins. Well, Harry Dean Stanton does do that. Oh, well, there we go.

Yeah. But again, I was probably like, it's all the aliens. There's so many of them. That's like a sci-fi horror trope that I like when creatures are growing. And then you see their shoulder blade pop out. And they shed. And there's more goop. I think that that's my generalization of the genre.

Just goop. All that pussy goop. All that goop. Pussy goop. Yeah, pussy goop. And a little dick goop too that's true yeah well the full-size alien is a dick with a pussy with a dick yeah is oh wait is this for children i think uh no yes we have an audience that reaches like

ages 7 to 12 okay we're gonna have to cut a lot our broadcast on radio the alien is a is a nani with a cuckoo and a nani I've never heard any of those words to describe any genitalia I'm having fun I was like, oh no, am I missing things? But they sounded right They sounded good

That sounded like a fun way to tell a child what to call their dick Hey nani nani, that's a cuckoo Wait, which one's which? I think a Nani's a dick and a cuckoo's a vagina. Oh, see, I was thinking the other... Okay, we could do it the other way. I was thinking cuckoo because...

I was thinking of a woodpecker. Yeah, maybe it was... I don't know. You know what? Anything could be anything. So the crew goes off looking for this alien and they basically get killed one by one and then ripley's like all right well i guess i gotta fix everything and then she escapes into the shuttle but oh surprise and uh the alien's there and she's like well fuck you then and she

blows out into space and the end so only only she and Jonesy the cat survive. Except, do you know the original ending? No. The original ending was, you know, she like makes her final like little statement in the log. The original ending is that the same statement. But then the camera reveals that the voice is coming out of the alien's mouth. That she is dead and the alien is the only one who's living. And somehow the alien knows how to talk like people, which is the goofiest thing.

That's a good alien. But yeah. And the studio was like, that seems goofy. Let's not do that. And also, it's a bummer. So I feel like if Sigourney Weaver's character was a man, I wouldn't mind that ending very much. Well, yeah. I mean...

Or it would bother me less, because that's still like a hokey ending of the alien learned to speak English, which actually is kind of inspiring in its way. Well, it grew that fast. It should have a few degrees by the end of the movie. Exactly. The alien should have a PhD. I mean, it's now a good time to mention my master's degree in screenwriting. I don't like to bring it up, but you guys were the ones who mentioned it. I don't think I did.

It's crazy that we did not make an opening for that comment. Okay. I would disagree. Anyway. Oh, also the chestburster scene. I can't be the only person in the world who experienced seeing space balls before seeing this. I also. Yeah.

So when it happened to space balls, I didn't understand it, but I was like, hilarious. And my mom was like, well, it's from this movie. And I was like, don't spoil it. I'm loving it. Yeah, I definitely saw Spaceballs long before I saw Alien and did not really get the reference. But now that I've seen Alien, oh, that seems even more hilarious. There is another, like, spoofy parody movie that you may be familiar with. Hot Shots and Hot Shots Part Deux.

Hot Shots Part Deux is one of my favorite movies ever. Part Deux? Part Deux. And it parodies a number of films that I had not seen, but I still thought it was the funniest movie ever. I was like, man, this is hilarious. But I didn't understand any of the references. Cool story, Caitlin.

Thank you. Yeah, I love it. So this is basically a movie about Ripley, like the strong female character, being like, hey, you guys, you're dumb. We should do this thing that's the right choice. And everyone's like, no. Everybody's like, that's really unlikable,

and it's unattractive. Yeah. And she's like, oh, but it's the right thing to do. And they're like, we don't like you and you're never going to have your own TV show. And then I'm like, no, wait,

this is about her. Not me. Making it way too personally. Um, I mean, can we presume that the reason that the rest of the crew is always like, no Ripley, we're doing it our way. Who cares about standard procedure?

Can we presume that it's because she's a woman? Maybe. I don't know. I don't think it's because she's a woman, because it is the compassionate choice when they do that. It's never like, should we have cake or pie? It's like, should we let somebody die? Yeah.

And so I will say that I don't think it's because she's a woman and i think that's part of the like future utopia that they're trying to sell us where it's like look there's all kinds of different ages of people and races of people and they all work together and genders of people and they get respected just as like whatever yeah i mean it's not super surprising to hear that the characters were sort of written with the intention of being not genderless, but could be a man or a woman attitude that, yeah, I mean, that would be a character as a man, but it wouldn't be unusual. Yeah, she's straight up unlikable. And they literally don't have her save the cat until the end. You must understand that with your degree.

Of course. And again, it must have been so cool to see it and not know anything about it and just be like, who's that bitch? I guess it's about this Dallas guy. He's the captain. I'm sure that's who this story is all about. Or, you know, these fun-loving engineer fellas

who wrap scallions. Wait, so you guys find her unlikable? Yeah, I think they kind of like paint her as unlikable. They do. But she goes on a journey. For sure. But I don't know. I'm like, I was on board with her from like minute one.

I'm like, yeah, they shouldn't bring this guy who's been attacked by this face-hugging alien creature. Yeah, it's probably going to end poorly. Maybe do I think this because what I what I know of horror sci fi movies? Maybe. I mean, it's not called ship with no alien on it. Right. Right. You know, authority and I'm just like, I love rules. I love rules. I wish I didn't. I hate myself because I do. I say, F the rules. I like to buck authority. I'm actually

the same way and I did find that a way to kind of relate to her and respect her but you could also see the whole rest of the crew was like in it for each other and like looking out for each other and she's the one who's being the jerk the way i saw that dynamic was like she's the boss and the boss does not break the rules and all the i guess subordinates uh as it were are way more likely to break the rules but she's not even

the boss like she's not the captain of the ship the rules. But she's not even the boss. Like she's not the captain of the ship or anything like that. She's not even first in command until a few other people die. No, Ash is like the science officer. I thought she and Ash were sort of like counterparts. Oh, maybe. Yeah. I'm not entirely. Yeah, I don't really know what her role is.

Because they're the ones who she's like they bicker about it because he clearly being who and what he is is like is. Because they're the ones who she's like, they bicker about it because he clearly being who and what he is, is like, no, get him in the ship. A jizz-filled robot. Let's get him in the ship. Yeah. I want to see. And then when they

bring him in and it's that face hugger through the helmet is just like an egg with a vagina in it. It's like the most weirdly, it's like a very scary... For a female. Georgia O'Keeffe. Yeah.

Apparently, the pods, you know, the eggy pod things that they find, and they kind of like open with the four petals. It originally was just two. It was just a straight up vagina. Oh, like a labia majora.

Yeah, and again, the network was like, um, that's too much. Add a couple extra flaps, gang. They said that they were scared they wouldn't be able to show it in like Catholic countries or something. Oh, yeah. Double the flaps, double the fun. That's what I always say.

Yeah. Oh, I got an audible laugh from Aristotle. You earned it, baby. We know what he's into. Aristotle loves double flaps. Are you guys going to put that on a t-shirt? I'm suggesting you should put that on a t-shirt. Or an enamel pin.

Those are hip now, right? Oh, yeah. People love the pins. A little picture of the egg, the pod, and a banner on it that says Aristotle loves double flops. And then just let the people interpret it as they will. That was Geiger, H.R. Geiger?

Is that his name? The designer? Yes. Yeah, he did all the creepy space sex design. There seemed to be, I mean, I don't know but the practical effects in this movie were so cool. Especially for that design there there seemed to be i mean i don't know the but like the practical effects uh in this movie were so cool especially for that era yeah i mean even the scene where ash's head is off

and his body is like flopping around um and he's clearly just like there with like the head flap kind of over him but it still looks kind of flawless yeah it's great cool yeah because there's i mean it's just a big mess. These days. I don't know. It just looked real. Well, they would have like CGI'd the crap out of it. Yeah. And then it would look fake.

And it would be. Yeah. And the head would be floating. Yeah. The only part where I was like, oh, this is kind of dumb is like when the baby alien bursts out of the chest and like you see it kind of like scamper across the table oh i like that i'm like that's clearly like someone doing some puppetry that's not very good and you're like oh cute baby or even the look like it bursts out and it sort of looks at everyone like i'm a baby yeah yeah it's a very like not the mama kind of moment.

Are you my mama? I'm the baby. Or what's the Alison Bechdel book that I can never remember the name of? Are You My Mother? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That's what it says when it bursts out of John Hurt's chest.

That's also a Dr. Seuss book. Are You My Mother? Yeah. I know that Ripley is not like a warm character. She's like very by the book in terms of, but, and she does become like more. In the director's cut, there's a scene where, oh man, what's the other woman's name? Lambert. I knew I was going to sit there with an L.

Where she straight up hits her when they come back in. Yeah. Just slaps her across the jaw. Yeah. of hits her when they come back in yeah just slaps her across the jaw yeah i made a note that like it was kind of a bummer to see like the two women characters that there are in this movie be kind of hostile to each other but then i was like wait ripley is just hostile towards everyone because she's almost always telling someone to fuck off or screaming at their face and it's justified i think that you know know, women should,

these female characters should be allowed to have, to be a full range. They don't always, I also find it a little obnoxious when it's all like cat fighty,

but I didn't feel like that was. No, no, I don't think so. Yeah, that was just Ripley being like.

if you want to be real technical about it, not the only female character. Mother of the ship. Mother of the ship mother of the ship yeah true so yeah i was really hoping jonesy was a girl cat so we could just have one more did they did they nail down what what kind of cat no i guess not but jonesy maybe i i just assumed based on the name that it was a a boy cat And again, in Aliens, the cat becomes a little girl.

I mean, it doesn't become a little girl, but like the same. She transfigures into a girl. The same role is done, but the plot device is little girl instead. Right. Oh, and then in Aliens, the Queen Bee is a lady alien. Does she say, she calls Mother a bitch

in this. I think she calls the alien a bitch. Get away from her, you bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great line. Basically, I just like how

throughout the entire story, Ripley is given a bunch of agency. She's making decisions that are usually not obeyed, but she's definitely playing an active, like a very active role in the story. So we're used to seeing female characters like, you know, I want to like, I'm just going to sit here and not really do anything. You're not going to stress about the decision. Right.

But she's just like, this is what we're doing. Listen to me. This is what has to happen. No one does. And they pay the price for it. Yeah. So I just thought it was super cool to see her being like, fuck off, you guys. Listen to me.

Here's the right choice. Do what I say. You're painting a picture of yourself. Like Ripley is badass i wanted to talk a little bit about lambert because of i read some background on uh her character because i guess that veronica cartwright uh arrived on set believing she was going to play ripley oh and then they were like actually sorry bitch you're lambert and she was not happy with it and uh but particular took issue with the character of lambert and how lambert is more fearful and expresses a lot of the fear and i guess the function of that character uh or the way she

was written was you know she represents the audience and like what we're feeling. But I guess that Veronica Cartwright took issue with that of like, why does that have to be the only female character besides Ripley slash why did no one tell me I'm not Ripley? I feel like that's the big question. That's actually what happened. Because on the other hand, you could make a case for it's very interesting to have the audience, to expect the audience to relate to these two female characters in the most significant ways in this sci-fi alien movie. Because, yeah, I didn't really feel any connection with any of the other ones, except maybe Ash, because we're introduced to him mostly as the one who's kind of pushing against Ripley.

Everybody else was like, they seem like cool dudes. Yeah. I don't know. They're all pals. Yeah. I also find it interesting that it's a very classist kind of movie. I mean, they kind of move away from that, but the whole beginning is them being like, how many shares do we get?

Clearly they were willing to do whatever within reason just to get this payday. There's no executives aboard. There's no higher socioeconomic class people in there. The guy who comes across as though he is, the one with the British accent who seems much fancier, is not human.

It's not a person at all. I love the fancy British man joke. It's the best. They couldn't program him to have an American accent. No. They're like on the design. Right.

They're like, he's he's fancy. And that's the hint that you should have picked up on the whole time. The only fancy one. Of course, he's an android. They're an evil people. Yes. The fancies. Oh, God.

That's like Bill Nighy in so many movies, especially my favorite bad movie, I, Frankenstein, where, oh, boy, is that a remarkably bad movie. I love it. Like, that's a fun one. That's a fun bad. I got one of my biggest Twitter pops ever was after I walked out of that and tweeted that it was the best movie ever written by an Evanescence album in the Sega Genesis. That's amazing. And it's still one of my top ranking tweets. It's a good one.

I don't know why people cared about that movie. I did see that movie twice in theaters. Why? Why? It was a fun one. Oh, wow. I liked it. And also, that was like the kind of peaceful cinematic experience where like there was never anyone else in the theater to experience.

I Frankenstein felt very personal. Oh, my God. Like that movie. What a disaster. It's a disaster. I'm sure you know, they thought that they were like launching a whole franchise because they left it open at the end. Yeah. Who was it it gonna be like

frankenstein oh i was frankenstein frankenstein they frankenstein frankenstein but bill nighy in that movie anyways is is the fancy man who that wonderful thing like christopher walken and geely do they are they aware that they're in a movie did they just walk in they're like say something british and he's like all right uh and they're like say something sciencey and then he does that and then he just steals a bunch of food from craft services and goes home yeah like that's the kind of anyways by the way i'm pretty sure it's the fancy guy i'm pretty sure you hold the record for number of gili references anyone has made ever i i wait when you said i feel bad i say it like everyone's like oh yeah christopher walken and gili when you were evasive about your wheelhouse yeah did you mean it

was gili i think it might be only gili yeah the films of martin brestrest really speak to me. Titanic and Gigli and The Jinx is what your wheelhouse is. I have to unsubscribe from HBO now because I told myself I would do it when Big Little Lies was over. But unfortunately, I do want to watch The Jinx again. The whole thing? The whole thing. I've seen it nine nine times but it's time to see it ten times sure yeah i gotta cross over in a double digits baby anyway well oh yeah alien to alien i just want to keep harping that i just love how persistent she is because like everyone keeps being like no ripley Ripley, shut up.

We've got to save this life. And she's just like, no, you're putting us all in danger. Yeah, she doesn't doubt herself. That's pretty impressive. Also impressive was how white the white areas of the ship were constantly, given how dirty and nasty the rest of the ship was. And that there was no cleaning crew. There were no fingerprints.

What was the janitorial situation there? I tweeted about this this morning. I got so many actuallys from dudes. I was like, I'm taking this down. Fine. I was like, it's too pristine. This and Discovery 1 from 2001. Oh, yeah.

Pristine white spaceship interiors. Yes. And it's like, I don't know. I mean, maybe I'm filthy filthy but i have white walls and i gotta i gotta touch those up from time to time right they turn to eggshell yeah they do and uh and especially if you're going from moon or into pods there's no no footprints no nothing come on yeah and yeah and then the dirty parts are like... Very dirty. Disgusting. Yeah. Yeah.

Especially when... Yeah, there's... I mean, there's... Distribute that dirt a little bit. There's jizz blood spraying everywhere. There's jizz blood. There's acid blood. Who's cleaning it?

And which just eventually... You got enough jizz blood, enough acid blood, you know there's got to be acid jizz someplace. That's true. Or acid jazz, which. Pretty much the same. Did you know that the genre of music in the cantina in Star Wars is called jizz? Jizz? Yeah. Really?

Yeah. That's straight up jizz. That's smooth rockin' jizz right there. Oh man, I want to be a jizz player i want to play some some jizz super into jizz super into jizz music guys oh that'd be great yeah if you if someone asks you what you're like they're like what do you listen to you're like i love jizz what is it like oh we're gonna we're just we're just getting to it is it called jizz and the way that like elevator music is called like muzak is that maybe i don't know it's just it's

it's one of those like the world sort of the star wars world i'm disappointing aristotle so intensely because it means so much more to him than me he's busy thinking about double flaps aristotle's putting on his triggered hat right now yeah it, people love Star Wars so much they've just created every question that could be asked about Star Wars has been answered someplace and agreed upon. In the Star Wars universe, that's what that type of music is called. There's never a scene where somebody's like,

hey, what are those fools playing in the corner? And someone else is like, don't you know that's jizz? It's just something that you know if you Google it, that's the answer. I get it. I got it. I got it. Ripley's self-assurance I found very compelling and good to watch.

You know, it's great to see a female character like that, but it did make it harder for me to relate to her. I'm like, you know, because she's so good at her job and so on it and knows the rules backwards and forwards. But the I don't know like and this isn't even a criticism but it's you know i'm pretty good at my job but i feel like i only hesitate like there's so many you know points in any day where you're just like like there was i don't know maybe i would have liked to maybe see like an a crack like in a character of any gender though well i think that it also it's a little bit more justified in

the sequel when she's already gone through all of this and so she's not she has more even more reason to be like no I'm sure you really gotta listen to me this is gonna suck. But this is her first rodeo in regards to a lot of jizz

right? The music? Oh no not the music uh the the explosive uh milk blood okay yes yeah oh yeah and this is where again in the sequel you know when she's confronted with an android she's like i hate you guys no i'm not gonna you can't be on the ship um and he's like but i'm a nice one and. And he does end up being a nice one. He ends up being very nice. But also, we do see his jizz blood too. We do. But I think one of the weirdest scenes in the movie that I was like, we don't need this, was the magazine rape.

Yeah, I was very, I guess he was choking her. Yeah, but that's a weird way to choke somebody. Like, you got hands, man. If you have hands to hold a rolled up magazine and try to shove it in a woman's mouth, you have hands to wrap around her neck and choke her that way. That speaks volumes. Thank you. I did also find that.

You can put it on a pin. It's going to be a long one, though. It's two pins. I'm going to have to distribute it. Yeah, I found that to be a very confusing way to try to suffocate or kill someone. I think that they were like, uh- to try to like suffocate or kill someone. I think that it was just that they were like, oh, we've gone a couple of minutes without rape imagery. What can we do?

Oh, I know. They're like, let's pay tribute to the genre. Traditionally. Huh. You can't break too many barriers. Because, yeah, it wouldn't suffocate her. You can still because it's a rolled up magazine. It's a tube.

I mean, it would hurt. It would be You can still, because it's a rolled up magnet. It's a tube. I mean, it would hurt. It would be uncomfortable. Also, were her arms pinned down? Why was she not? Get off me, dummy. I think she was. That feels like an easy thing to fight off.

I mean, not easy, but. Especially then when. Everybody comes in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Parker. So I don't know if like robots have super strength or what. If they do, then again, choke her. Yeah. That's a much better, I mean.

I like how we're advocating for a woman to be choked. It's just a very cumbersome scene. Choker! With their bare hands, you son of a bitch. This happens in every episode at some point. It's like the rom-coms. Like Ridley Scott or whoever made this choice was like challenging themselves to like, what's a more creative way? What's a more out of the box way to get a rape on the screen? Like we've already had the face hugger.

Geez, what's next? I guess. Yeah. This magazine thing. Now, let's talk about the part where John Hurt, a man, gets essentially impregnated by an alien species and then essentially gives birth to it. Sure. Beautiful. A beautiful thing in any man's life. It's just a natural part. It's a special time.

I gotta say, as someone who is terrified at the just very idea of childbirth, I really enjoyed having to see a man sort of go through with it. It's like, now you know the pain. It seemed less painful to me than the idea of actual childbirth. Because it came through his chest. Yeah. Not as naughty or as cuckoo. Right.

And he had the benefit of dying. Yeah. Not having to raise it. That would have been fun, though, if he was like, sorry, guys, I got to go. I got somebody to take care of now. My alien has soccer. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, there's so many just like sources of horror in this movie that don't come just from like this big alien attacking people which is one of the i mean just it's all the it's it's the nonnies and the cuckoos right that's where all the grossness that's where all the terror comes i mean and it really that bummed me out because i was like oh no are pussies like intrinsically terrifying because like when they looked into when they went into the it was an alien ship they went into right when they when they leave their ship i think that they did it yeah yeah and because there's like the there's the the space jockey there and it's it looks terrifying and i was like if they had walked into a thing that was like full of broken glass and like swords and sticks all point it would have been more

physically dangerous but it would not be as terrifying. Right. It wouldn't cause as much terror and uncomfortability as this thing that looks like pussies. Right. They're walking into two huge vaginas and then the walls are all, you know. The production design is very spooky. Geiger's a real weirdo. Yeah. Yeah, he's a real pervert. For sure.

That must have been. They were like, we got to make this movie. Ooh, you know who's a perv? We should call good old HR. He'll really creep it up for us. But yeah, and so it's like, you know how humans are like hardwired to hate snakes? Yeah. And the shh in any language will get attention and with most animals too.

If you're having trouble with your cat and you're like, get off the counter and he just won't listen, try throwing a shh at him. They really don't like it. Yeah. Because it sounds like a snake. And everything that has evolved, this is what I have read, that everything that's evolved now and that is currently an existing species, we're the ones who have not been murdered by snakes. Among other things. Other predators. But snakes are the ones that,

they're just all over the place. They're trying to get everybody. So we are hardwired to dislike snakes. Also the way they move, because we can't figure out how they move. Except for neighborhood weed dealers who love snakes. Well, yeah, but even that, I feel like those people are

like doing it to test themselves oh yeah i don't i'm not even because you know no one has a pet snake and and doesn't tell everyone about it yeah but in the same way i was like oh no are we hard wired to be grossed out by pussies um coming from someone who does not find pussies sexually attractive, I'm not sure. I'm not grossed out by them, even though they are disgusting. Dicks are much grosser, though, I think. Well, yeah, I mean, we had some gross dicks in there, too. I mean, their heads. That's like, come on, take a second pass.

That's just so obvious. It's like double dicks. It's like Aristotle's double flaps. The scene where after the facehugger alien has dislodged itself from John Hurt's face and cummed all into his throat. And it's dead now. It's dead. And they're kind of poking and prodding at it to be like, oh.

And it's like, stop. I can't right now. I just jizzed all down that guy's throat. Give me a minute. Just need a few minutes. I mean, it's very vaginal slash vulvic. I'm going to bring that word into just, you know. Is that a word?

Isn't that a bottled water? I was like, can I stick poke that word into my leg Is that a word? Isn't that a bottled water? Can I stick... Can I stick poke that word into my leg so I don't forget it? I often say, whenever people say vagina, what they mean to say is vulva. The vagina is the inside part. It's like saying throat when you

mean neck. Exactly. Or throat when you mean face. Or mouth. Or something. I don't know anyway uh volvic is a new word that is it is a thing now so you're welcome everybody the end okay kaylin i loved that story thank you hey does anyone have any like final thoughts about the movie if you haven't seen it yet, we've ruined it. Yeah, it's ruined for you, but you should see it. If you're a fan of Goop,

if you're a fan of Sigourney Weaver, or a fine-looking Tom Skerritt, really looking like that hot history teacher. Right? Yeah. If you're a fan of Deceptive Fancy Men, I mean, it's a fun movie. As a person that's not that into the genre.

I enjoyed this movie. I did. I want to say that I did enjoy very much that the last three remain like surviving characters are two women and a black guy because all the other four white dudes, they're like, bye, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. was it hubris who knows but they they did they got dead they got their die on that's all that matters as long as they get dead yeah cool hey does the movie pass the Bechdel test

I say yes with flying colors with flying colors I mean there's no question about whether or not it passes, because I do agree that it does. There's a couple of different scenes where Ripley and Lambert talk to each other. But mother. When she threw mother in there. That's where I'm talking flying colors. Sure.

Okay. Because she's never like, mother, how's Dallas? Yeah. I'm worried about his feelings. She's like, shut this down. What are we doing? Mother, sometimes I feel like I'm never going to start dating. Yeah.

Mother, I know it's going to make a weird period joke. Something's happening to my body. Can you explain the changes? Yeah, there's a scene toward the beginning whenever they have woken up and they're like where are we even Ripley is like that's not our system we're not in the right solar system or whatever

that's the first clue that things are wrong and then Lambert is like I know that so that's a conversation where two women are talking about not a man and then later on the other part that I noted where it passes the test is when where two women are talking about not a man. And then later on, the other part that I noted where it passes the test is when

it's after Dallas dies and Ripley's like, we're just going to proceed with Dallas' plan. We're going to try to trap this alien in the air vents and get the alien where we can't see it. And it has access to the entire ship. It's a great plan.

And then Lambert's like, and end up dead to the entire ship it's a great plan and then Lambert's like and end up dead like the others you're out of your mind and Ripley's like you got a better idea and then she's like yeah let's abandon the ship and everyone's like no so that's a conversation but there may be other scenes where it passes the test

but those are the only two that I really noticed but I also wrote down mother. Mother? I don't know if I'm willing to count mother. Oh come on! It wasn't first of all it was named which is part of this so

it wasn't just like computer and they decided to gender it. They could have called it X57. True. And in 2001 it's Hal. Do you think Hal and Mother... They fuck. In SpongeBob SquarePants it's Karen.

Plankton's computer wife. Cool. So anyways, I'm more of a cartoon person than a sci-fi person. There's a computer friend in that movie Moon as well that Kevin Spacey voices.

I forget what his name is though. I just remember that the, the landing pod that he's waiting for is Eliza. So through the whole movie, they're like, Eliza is a lot closer. And I'm like, stop.

I won't get there. If you keep saying it. Nice. Cool. Yes. The movie passes the Bechdel test. we are now going to rate the movie on our nipple scale so we have a scale that is zero to five nipples we rate it oh no based on it who is that that's not right that is, it is me.

Okay. I don't know what you're talking about. This is a great scale to be rating a movie on. I feel like you should never have nipples and fives. That's not the number that they should ever come in. It's like a peg leg of nipples. Sometimes you just got one and then

the other one is wooden right yeah okay all right yeah it's not the same but it gets the job done so it's like it's like three and a half women three yeah yeah yeah i give it three and a half women yeah uh is that your real yeah okay cool, assuming that women have two nipples each. So, wait, that's like seven nipples. Wait, one, two, three, four, five. Three and a half times two is seven. I said two and a half.

Oh, sorry. I think you said three and a half. Did I say? I will never know. There's no way for us to tell. You listeners, you know. Okay, two and a half women. I will say that this most recent viewing

and some of them, I feel like this is a movie this is so gross. It's a movie you gotta see on the big screen. Gotta see it on the big screen. And I tried to watch this during the day in my apartment, flooded with light. I waited for night. I'm giving it an idealized five.

I'm gonna maybe... Don't give it a half nipple. I'm going to walk out. We often do, though. No! That's so upsetting. I'm going to give it a whole number.

Okay. And it is... I think I'm going to give it a four based on its portrayal of the women in it. I do think Ripley is a total badass. I like that she is very persistent and she's intuitive. She knows. I mean, maybe it's women's intuition.

Is that even a thing? I don't know. Do I have any? I don't think so. I've never made a mistake. She's just smart. Right. She's smart.

She's good at her job. And she is persistent. And I really enjoy seeing that on screen. She's sort of an Elizabeth Warren type, is what you're saying? Yeah. Never the less, she's persistent. Oh, yeah, right. I don't know how quotes work.

Yeah. If I had any, like, complaints about it, I guess, I don't know. I was, like, maybe hoping to see the relationship with the other female character to be, like, a little less hostile. But that's not really who Ripley is, so I'm just nitpicking here. I think it maybe deserves a five nipple. I'm not sure. Get back to me.

I'll tell you in a month. Okay. I'm going to give it four, but they're all sliced down the middle. Oh, no! Like little peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Just no crusts on the nipples

well there shouldn't be crust on them either I mean I don't I just I support that detail I don't like crust crusty nipples what are they in a bucket oh god and then you just wait what's the name of the production designer

who HR Geiger that's who also production designs this podcast yeah yeah yeah And then you just... Wait, what's the name of the production designer who did... H.R. Giger. That's who also production designs this podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's like, crusty nipples. He's like, crusty nipples in my brain. Yeah, he's like... Crust in half.

Put a little crust in there. That's his famous quote. For me, it's a four because I like the genderless aspect to all of the characters but that means that we don't really get a lot of perspective on gender in the way that a five nipple movie usually well maybe maybe the perspective is it gets to be defined by the individual right that's true maybe yeah maybe this movie just to be clear allows it is raising the roof right now yeah i mean maybe one day we'll all live in a society where our gender doesn't even need to be recognized probably not though no no no it's we're we're like four or five months away from

handmaid's tale yeah yeah yeah i've not that, but I did recently see A Knight's Tale, so I think I'm caught up. Same thing. I still haven't seen the Hulu one, but I highly recommend the book. The book is terrific, yeah. It will very much upset you right now. It feels like a not-too-far-away dystopian future.

What am I going to recommend this week? I'm going to recommend season two of Golden Girls and The Jinx. Preferably back to back to back to back to back to back. Yes. Well, okay, I have a Jinx viewing planned with my friend this weekend. And it's the best way to watch The Jinx is The Jinx with no bathroom breaks. Oh, right.

So do you guys talk during it at all or is there no speaking? It's more like screaming. Okay. If you scream at the same time, do you ever? Well, I've never watched it with this person before. I love it.

I was about to launch into a very long explanation of like, well, sometimes, you know, if it's someone you've watched it with before. I work with a bunch of British people because of the Late Late Show and then also this sp-off show that i worked on the british people like employing other british people but there's a lot of that kind of stuff about american culture they don't know jinx yeah oh interesting so i lied a lot about the different things that you

could get done with the jinx that's great yep yep i love i love a good like slow burn white lie that'll embarrass them like months in the future yeah oh it's great and i got him uh the a showrunner on the show uh very nice guy but he it got him so nervous about what phrases were actually not used here but he would be like well i'm going to go get a mug of coffee do you say that do you say mug here no what is that a bin of coffee yeah wait i just thought of something else about the movie that i have to say it takes longer for the alien fetus to like gestate in john hurt's chest than it does for the baby to reach adulthood that that's why you know that that's a precious life, even when it's inside. I mean, life begins whenever a weird alien species comes into your throat and plants

a baby in your chest. It's just like mommy told you. Right. Yeah. Oh, man, this is ripe dirty talk too oh yeah yeah next time you're with the with the fella tell me one of them to plant his alien seed in your guts in your face hug me i shudder to think how many different disturbing ways a man could interpret that sentence. Face hung me! Oh, good. Also,

like, since it sounds like you guys are kind of new to H.R. Giger, this is kind of the first time you hear, the mark of a real creepy dorm room. A Giger poster. Ooh, interesting. What other movies has he done? It's not a movie. If you Google him,

you'll find lots of concept art by him. And, like, when I was in school, at least, they would have those poster fairs for all the kids to go and decorate their poster-less rooms. And there was always a bunch of Geiger stuff. Every poster in a college room is a warning sign. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh. It's pretty creepy. I'm very horny. No. I'm very horny.

I'm so horny baby. Yes for these sticky robots. It's just a bunch of sticky robots. My college roommate had a cardboard cutout of major pain in our room for a full year and I never asked her how she got it but eventually it started next to her bed which I didn't like but then it started to inch out into the room which I really didn't like and then at some point I was like I like it you want me over uh Eliza thanks a ton for being here thank you thanks a lot for having me where can people find you on the internet they can find me on twitter

at addyliz Skinner, or on Instagram at at eSkins. Shouldn't have done that. Should have made it all the same thing, but I didn't. And they can listen to my podcast, Angry Little Goats. That's right. Hey, what's making you a happy little goat today? Oh, wow. Today. You don't have to answer. I mean, I recommend The Handmaid's Tale, but I feel like I've done that a lot. Actually, I really want to go watch all of the Alien movies now, because also the new one coming out, I'm very excited for it. I'm hoping it will be a redemption from the awful

Prometheus. Boy, was that bad. I have not seen Alien 3 or 4. Ooh, that's the one with was it Charles S. Dutton? I'm not sure. It's the one where she's in space jail, just to shave her head. It's the one where she's in space jail just to shave her head. It's tough.

Hey, bald. A bald lady. The bald women rule. The bald women rule. She's in charge. Is she in charge? Yeah. That's the rule.

I think at that point she's a clone. They start cloning Ripley, I believe, starting in the third movie. Because she's the best suited to fuck up all these aliens. Exactly. Does Sigourney Weaver count as women in best suited to fuck up all these aliens. Exactly. Does Sigourney Weaver count as women in STEM for this one? I think so. Yes.

I think she's a science officer. Yeah. Hell yeah. She's a STEM head. I thought of another bald woman movie, which is... I love that this theory actually works. I don't know if it works. Bald women are in charge. The baldest women in the movie is usually in charge.

It's the loftiest test. It's the loftiest test. Who is bald who is what about empire records does that ruin it oh you know what i have not seen that movie in so long that i don't remember who was in it or what they look like i recently tweeted about loving dramatic haircuts in movies and so all these people were like sending me head shaving scenes and i was like well i didn't mean that i meant grab your hair scissors slick that's like yeah i like that um mulan gets her haircut with a fucking sword yeah no but the movie i was thinking of was uh v for vendetta oh yeah yeah yeah it's a head shave and then another bald but is she in charge she's kind of in charge of her own life so she's maybe argue that she's an authority figure i mean she's not the authority figure but she's didn't work for britney no hey leave britney alone there's haha

okay i still think it's a triumph that she survived that year i oh god i i think she's great i'm going to vegas for the first time next uh month and i and i'm like i really want to go see britney i really do you know know, I understand it. I did. You did? Yeah. Did you enjoy it? No. Oh, no.

It's not a great show. She looks so tired. Yeah. You feel like you're like, oh, you didn't have to do this for me, Britney. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I asked. I didn't mean to make you. And also when they line up her songs like that like one after another it you realize that it's like what it spells out like um like cut out newspaper letter style like a huge cry for help

it's just like the songs are basically all like i'm a sexy baby and no one listens to me or knows what i want or feel like how long has it been since britney's actually felt that way like a sexy baby like i said oh well i feel like she still does feel like a sexy baby. Yeah, I feel like she's, like, the message of all of her songs are basically like, you just want to fuck me. That's it. I might still go see it. Yeah, and I don't want to tell you not to. Take pictures with her costumes.

But also, you do know that Mind Freak is there, too. Oh, shit. I'm only there for three days. I would say. Wait, what's Mind Freak? That's Chris Angel. Mind Freak is there, too. Oh, shit. I'm only there for three days. I would say... Wait, what's Mind Freak? That's Criss Angel. Mind Freak! I am the Mind Freak.

I was recently considering going there just to line up a bunch of magic shows and just... Oh, that's cool. Go see a bunch of magic shows. Dude, I... I'm that kind of dork. I would love to see Mind Freak. I used to love that show. I used to... I don't know why to see Mind Freak. I used to love that show. I used to.

I don't know why. But Mind Freak was my shit. And I used to love the Jamie Kennedy experiment. So we're finding out about your wheelhouse. My wheelhouse. It's garbage. Whatever is trash. My wheelhouse fucking sucks. I like how this episode has become like the last half hour of Lord of the Rings Return of the King, where every time you think it's over.

Oh, sorry. We keep going. No, I've had so much fun. Thank you again, Eliza, for being here. You're welcome again. It's been a wonderful time. Go see the new Alien movie. It might be good.

All right. Bye. Bye. into a mathiest state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. This is Matt Rogers. And Bowen Yang.

We've got some exciting news for you. You know we're always bringing you the best guests, right? Well, this week, we're taking it to the next level. The one, the only, Katherine Hahn is joining us on Lost Culture East. That's right.

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on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever history repeating itself? There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.