The Bechdel Cast - Beetlejuice with Mike Abrusci

Episode Date: October 19, 2017

If you say "Bechdel Cast" three times in a row, Caitlin and Jamie will appear and ruin your favorite childhood movies! This week they discuss the scabbiest movie of all time, Beetlejuice, with guest M...ike Abrusci!(This episode contains spoilers)Follow @mikeabrusci on Twitter! While you're there, you should also follow @BechdelCast, @caitlindurante and @hamburgerphone  Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unearthed the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks. She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. To listen to new episodes one week early and 100% ad-free, subscribe to the iHeart True Crime Plus channel, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. In California during the summer of 1975, within the span of 17 days and less than 90 miles, two women did something no other woman had done before, try to assassinate the president of the United States. One was the protege of Charles Manson.
Starting point is 00:00:56 26-year-old Lynette Fromm, nicknamed Squeaky. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer, this season on the new podcast, Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeartTrue Crime Plus, only on Apple Podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:20 I'm NK, and this is Basket Case. What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology. Swaps of different meds. But by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care.
Starting point is 00:01:42 Oh, look at you giving me therapy, girl. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Bechdelcast, the questions asked if movies have women in them. Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, or do they have individualism? The patriarchy's effin' vast. Start changing it with the Bechdel cast
Starting point is 00:02:06 Hi Bechdel cast listeners! It's me, Caitlin! And me, Jamie! And we're here to just remind you about our new Patreon page! Just a little nudge nudge. We explained it in the last episode, but we have a new Patreon page. Basically the deal is it's $5 a month. You'll get two bonus episodes of the
Starting point is 00:02:26 Bechdel cast every month. Could be live episodes. Could be a new released movie because usually we do older movies, but what if we did brand new movies? Yeah. And then we'll do commentary for some of our favorite movies. And the whole idea is we want to get you guys extra stuff and we also uh always need help sort of covering the production costs for the show and hope to be touring and doing festivals as time goes on so you'd be doing us a big favor it's a win-win yeah we'll give you stuff in return you win we win patreon.com slash bechtelcast yeah and you can also access it through our website if you go to bechtelcast.com backslash support. You can click on the Patreon button.
Starting point is 00:03:08 It'll take you right to the page. You can subscribe. You can give us the money that you want to give us and that we want to receive. Get five nipples forever. Be a patron today. Yay! The Bechdelcast.
Starting point is 00:03:22 Hi, welcome to the Bechdelcast. My name's Jamie. My name's Caitlin. And this is our Bechdelcast. It's about movies. Bechdel cast. My name's Jamie. My name's Caitlin. And this is our Bechdel cast. It's about movies. It's about women. It's about women in movies. Do they do good?
Starting point is 00:03:30 Do they do bad? Let's find out. It's a bit of everything. I failed in the middle. I failed in the middle of the sentence. We are recording in New York City right now. New York City. Hey, alternative location.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Yeah. Pretty cool. Which means Aristotle isn't with us. He passed away fun uh no aristotle is alive and well but uh yeah we're we're both here in new york we're gonna be recording our live episode uh later tonight but here we're with we're with our friends with some pals we're among friends quick update i don't have uh mike's hard death on me but i will procure one i think for. I mean, that's my plan.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Yeah, you'll have time. I have to find it. Yeah, like, I'll figure it out really quick. I was in Boston last night, and I met this person, probably the worst person I've ever met. But his name was Kevin. My friend and I were trying to find somewhere quiet to catch up and this Kevin just came out of nowhere and was like I didn't get into Harvard Business School. He cried and then I asked him if he knew what the Bechdel test was and he asked if that was a standardized test because he was in the Harvard Business School zone. So anyways I got to see a man really at his lowest last night and it felt like a really good way to come in here. Yeah, that's encouraging. No, I get exactly what you mean.
Starting point is 00:04:51 And if you are like Kevin and you don't know what the Bechdel test is, we're here to tell you it's a test that you apply. Thank you. You can edit out that whole story. I'm keeping it. If you don't know what the bechdel test is it's a test that you apply to movies or tv shows or anything with a story it requires that two women in the story talk to each other they also have to have names and their conversation has to be about something other than a man hell yeah and we've explained it on every episode of our podcast so
Starting point is 00:05:22 yeah i suppose there's a couple we missed. People yell at us when we don't say the right things at the right times. And I remember, and it hurts my feelings. I forgot to talk about cat facts last time. I forgot to talk about Alfred Millient, which is like, I barely believe that, but it's possible. In any case, we have a guest, as we always do. Yeah, we have a guest, as we always do. Yeah, we have a guest. So our guest today, he's a delight.
Starting point is 00:05:50 He lives in the, actually, it totally makes sense that you love this movie because this is such a loud, obnoxious Long Island-style movie. When am I allowed to talk and defend myself? Shut up. Okay. He's got a podcast. It's called's called tv casualty it's on what network brain machine network brain machine shout out to lave it's mike abrisi hi hi i think we should address this we're sitting beside each other i it feels and it's weird i don't want to make
Starting point is 00:06:21 eye contact with mike i'd rather kill myself but he is right there so happy to be here we're doing a bad job as hosts and i'm being an exceptional guest i believe well uh let's talk about the movie which is beetlejuice and you picked this movie why'd you pick this movie what's your history with it how many times have you seen it uh let's see i've probably seen this movie 200 times like a lot wow it was like a it was like a big movie of my childhood i liked it a lot i would rent it from the library pretty often so you were like watching beetlejuice in long island just sitting just sitting on the couch in my parents house just loving beetlejuice eating a bunch of doritos really having a good time how
Starting point is 00:07:12 old were you a young winona rider oh i of course every day of course every day is a day that i am trying hard not to get the winona forever tattoo that johnny depp had every day of my life uh i have a friend named sammy who has that tattoo oh god yeah is it winona or wino uh winona oh because johnny has wino forever yeah he changed which also like doesn't bode well with this current persona like it's just you can't win with that tattoo no also he's a coward for getting it removed just live with it yeah i mean cover it. Or cover it up. What is forever? That's true. Time is a construct.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yeah, that's true. You're right. But yeah, the first time I probably saw it, I was probably like six or seven. Because I was like, this is a kid's movie. It seems fun. And then the first time I saw it, I was like, I don't know. No, no, no, no, no. It looks like it.
Starting point is 00:07:59 Like, you'd think. Yeah. You'd think, but it's not. That's kind of the Tim Burton thing, where everything looks like a kid's movie, but it also makes you feel very uncomfortable for a while. Right. Like, Edward Scissorhands made me feel very uncomfortable as a child until I realized what it was.
Starting point is 00:08:15 I was very horny for Edward Scissorhands. Yeah. Well, I don't share that sentiment, but I liked that movie a lot for at least some span of time. I haven't seen it in a while. It's a crier. It's a sad one. You're going to feel things.
Starting point is 00:08:29 You're going to feel compassionate. You're going to relate with a white man. It's going to be confusing. Edward Scissorhands, very hot. Well, that movie. It's a dry shampoo. That movie and I think Beetlejuice also and probably a lot of Tim Burton movies don't make any sense. Kind of hot.
Starting point is 00:08:45 No. Yeah. Okay. We'll get into it. I don't like Beetlejuice the movie very much. Feminist icon. Feminist. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Feminist icon Beetlejuice. One of my problems, one of my several problems with the movie Beetlejuice is that he's so grotesque to look at that I can't. Oh, it's like he's too hot. I didn't believe he was gross. He's got like green scabs all over his forehead. It's great. Gross.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Now, you know what? That kind of makes sense why Jamie likes him. He's covered in scabs. He's covered in scabs. He has one suit that has pinstripes. He eats bugs. He's a disgusting pervert. He has no respect for women. This is like my kind of guy yeah but mostly it's mostly the scabs it's mostly the scabs and the like pancake face facial makeup
Starting point is 00:09:36 well when did you first see it i would guess like early teens i've seen it maybe four or five times yeah yeah and i like i i don't know why It seems like the kind of movie That I would like really really get into But I think I avoided it after a while Because I didn't want to get Looped in with the Hot Topic kids I wanted to be a Hot Topic kid But I like
Starting point is 00:09:56 Unlike other cliques that I tried To ingratiate myself into AKA the anime kids Who rejected me heartily No The Juggalos who rejected me heartily. No. The juggalos who rejected me heartily. But they're a family.
Starting point is 00:10:11 They're not for me. Not if you have a back brace and you can't play hacky sack. That doesn't sound like the juggalos I know. The juggalos I know, like you had to be able to play hacky sack. If you were physically not able to play hacky sack, that's the one thing that would mean you can't be a juggalo. I've seen so many pictures of juggalos who definitely couldn't play hacky sack these
Starting point is 00:10:30 ones are very accepting they're very accepting people they really are like there's a they did like a march for equality anyways there's a documentary about uh feminism at the gathering of the juggalos it's like a 20 minute piece i didn't know what a juggalo was until i was like 28 i was like what there's what that's wild yeah so when did you see i saw it i remember it being on the tv when i was like probably six and only remembering the image of like that stripy worm like going through the sand and that was the only thing i remember about it and i don't think i saw it since then until a couple days ago when i watched it to prep for this episode so i i like lived my life thinking yeah i know about beetlejuice i've seen it and i know the things about it and turns out i don't like i hadn't and like like I said, I don't like it that much. Sorry, everyone.
Starting point is 00:11:26 Unbelievable. Unreal. Unbelievable. But I have reasons and they're good. So, okay. I forgot about who is in Beetlejuice. I forgot. I totally forgot Alec Baldwin's in Beetlejuice.
Starting point is 00:11:42 And he looks. The hottest he's ever been. Oh, my God. That's peak Alec Baldwin's in Beetlejuice and he looks the hottest he's ever been oh my god that's peak Alec Baldwin everything's tight in the right color he doesn't have that big gallon of milk head he has now he looks like
Starting point is 00:11:58 his jawline is out of control skinny head and I love Geena Davis out of control and winona didn't remember her being in it either didn't remember katherine o'hara being katherine o'hara katherine o'hara kills it and she's one of one of i can't think of a movie that's worse for her being there oh wait that's that's a compliment okay wait like she makes everything better no she makes everything better she makes everything great she's makes everything great. She's amazing.
Starting point is 00:12:25 And then the guy who plays her husband in that movie is in my favorite Tim Burton movie. I don't remember the actor's name, but he's in Sleepy Hollow. Ooh. What? That is my favorite Tim Burton movie. I've never seen that one. Oh, it's good. Yeah?
Starting point is 00:12:39 You know, it's Johnny Depp being Johnny Depp, which turns out is a piece of shit. But it's a great, it's a fun little thing. He was the principal in Ferris Bueller. Oh, okay. I saw that movie just the other day. Jeffrey Jones is the actor's name. Boo.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Was he? He's great. There was an actor who I believe was recent, in the last couple of years, definitely arrested for some sort of child pornography. Perverted crime? Yeah pornography. Perverted crime? Yeah. A perverted crime? A perverted crime.
Starting point is 00:13:08 We here at the Bechtel Castle love perverted crimes. I don't want to say it was him, but I feel like it was him. Okay, well, what's his name again? Jeffrey Jones. Continue to talk. I need to know. Okay, well, should I do the recap? Sure, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:20 What's it about? Well, my favorite movie, Beetlejuice, is about Beetlejuice. Feminist icon Beetlejuice. Feminist icon. What if you had to say that three times? Oh, yeah. What's it about? Well, my favorite movie, Beetlejuice, is about Beetlejuice and how he's a... Feminist icon, Beetlejuice. Feminist icon. What if you had to say that three times? Oh, yeah. Feminist icon, Beetlejuice. Feminist icon, Beetlejuice. Feminist icon, Beetlejuice.
Starting point is 00:13:33 And then he does the cute little... I love him. He's cute. So, okay, Beetlejuice centers around a married couple, Adam and Barbara Maitland, which if I were to marry Adam or Barbara Maitland, my name would be Caitlin Maitland. So I might do that. Astute observation. Thank you so much. So Adam is played by Alec Baldwin and Barbara is Ginaena Davis. And they're living in this house and they love their house. They built a model of the town in their attic
Starting point is 00:14:09 and they're having a great time. And they go out to the store and then they fall off a bridge. They crash off of a bridge and die. And it takes them a while to figure out that they've died, but they're back in their house and they're like, wait a minute, what's this book?
Starting point is 00:14:25 The Handbook for the Recently Deceased? Wait a minute. At least they're still hot. They're still hot. They're not gross, ugly, scabby ghosts like Beetlejuice is. They're still cute. It's because he's the ghost with the most. He's the most scab.
Starting point is 00:14:39 The most scab on his face. The ghost with the most scab on his face. The most facial scabbing. So they start to piece together That they are dead And that they're ghosts And this new family moves in And that's Catherine O'Hara
Starting point is 00:14:54 And Confirmed The sex offender Oh no Catherine O'Hara and the sex offender Coming to CBS Yeah he's a sex offender Oh no Confirmed 2002 well that's much that's much misbehaving bad that's
Starting point is 00:15:11 that's what i say to all sex offenders bad no misbehaving that's bad yeah slap on the wrist for you basically that's what happened he had to go to tolly guy he had to go to counseling and then just be like hi i'm respected actor you know disgraced human jeffrey jones i'm a sex offender isn't that always the way i actually ever come to your door and been like i'm a sex offender no that's never happened to me i feel like there were i mean for sure there were a ton of sex offenders in my neighborhood and like who's checking to make sure that they tell you i don't know right there should be should be a caseworker who goes along with them to confirm. Right, but then you never...
Starting point is 00:15:48 They're always along... Well, I don't know. I never... As soon as we got the internet, my mom was obsessed with... Sex offenders? Sex offender listings to find out how close they were to the house. Or how close they were to the school. It's like Grindr.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Well, we got one at 0.2 miles away. Let's see what's going on. The sex offender and Catherine O'Hara, their characters have a daughter, and that's Winona Ryder. And she's got black hair. She's not like the other girls. She's got black clothes. She's different. And they move in, and Adam and Barbara are like, no, this is our house.
Starting point is 00:16:27 Don't move in. And so they try to haunt them and scare them out. Because they can't leave the house. Right. Because they, yeah. A rule is established for whatever reasons that they cannot leave their house. So they try to scare the Dietzes who move in. And that doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:16:42 So then they go to this, afterlife waiting room which is fun scene love the waiting room so much love him shout out to tiny head tiny head has got it going on my man yeah yeah broad shoulders on that tiny headed guy it's mean, it really brings out how tiny his head is. Yeah. His shoulders really highlight the size of his head. So they go, and they're like, hey, we need help. So they meet with this caseworker, Juno, and she's like, you guys got to be simple. Be a simple ghost.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Do some simple hauntings. So then they try again to haunt them and scare them out of the house. And that doesn't work. And then they meet the daughter, Winona Ryder's character. Here's the thing about her. She's different. She's a little bit different. Her name's Lydia.
Starting point is 00:17:33 She's a goth. Yeah. She's a goth. She's got insane bangs and I hate them. Oh, come on. They're pointy. They're fun.
Starting point is 00:17:41 They're pointy bangs. They really are pointy. They're very pointy. She looks sharp. Yeah. She's a sharp looking kid. There's a lot of of the whole movie has a lot of sharp looking elements in it yeah do you remember the scene where beetlejuice is horny and but then he's also sharp the when when davis is holding him and the spikes grow out of his body yeah i think that's fun and that's fun when you get horny you just get very sharp yeah that's literally there That's fun. When you get horny, you just get very sharp. Yeah, that's literally...
Starting point is 00:18:05 There's a lot of sharp objects in this. Yeah. Bealejuice is so horny. Yeah. But, like, literally, he's covered in horns. He's covered... Yeah. And he's horny.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Pointy little... Do you see it? What I'm doing? No, I get it. I get it. I thought you were... Let me explain further. Wait, break it down.
Starting point is 00:18:21 So, then they meet Lydia, and lydia's like wait i can see you guys and they're like holy shit so they like befriend lydia but they still hate lydia's parents so they're still trying to get them out and then they they hear about beetlejuice well because the katherine o'hara is the stepmom who's who are always evil stepmoms are bad uh we've step parents in general are bad in movies right in real life uh i don't i don't have any step-parents i was like calm down yeah this is where i just rail against my dad's girlfriend for 45 minutes uh katherine o'hara and her her interior designer friend otho i love him are are going through the house and uh talking about which parts they want to
Starting point is 00:19:03 tear down that That's when... Yeah, they're like, we got to call this Beetlegeist dude. Oh, yeah. And then they figure out how to summon him when you have to call his name out three times. They figure it out and then they go to his little... He's hanging out in a cemetery. They have to dig him up out of his grave.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Lots of pomp and circumstance with Beetlejuice coming out of the grave. He's yelling. He looks like he stinks. I love the commercial he has for himself beforehand. His commercial is so great. The little song he sings at the end is beautiful. Sing it. I'm not going to sing the song.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Go ahead and sing the song. You're going to want to sing the song probably. Now, you know what? It is crazy that Michael Keaton is Batman the year after Beetlejuice. It's wild. Right. He's wild. Right. Right.
Starting point is 00:19:48 Like, he's acting like the Joker this entire movie. They know a man who can anchor a series. That's what they know. When they see Keaton, they go, this is the face of our movie. This is, yeah. Even though Beetlejuice the character is in the movie Beetlejuice for 17 minutes. It's, yeah. Where's Beetlejuice at for most of the... He's not introduced on screen, like, in the flesh, if you will, in his scabby flesh, until
Starting point is 00:20:10 45 minutes into the movie. That's my main complaint. More Beetlejuice, please. Yeah. More Feminist Psych on Beetlejuice. It's crazy how little Beetlejuice is in the movie Beetlejuice. It's like, oh, we got this movie Forrest Gump. Let's follow Jenny around for like a long time
Starting point is 00:20:26 honestly would have been a more interesting movie she's out there we're coming for Forrest Gump on this I'm serious though Jenny she was fucking a bunch of dudes what was Forrest Gump doing he ran across the country
Starting point is 00:20:41 he met the president he played ping pong real good he uh i've never seen forrest gump he fights in a war he fights in the war boring baba and his whole thing but if not for the movie forrest gump we would not have bubba gump strip company the restaurant and i think that that is that's true the most important uh contribution it's made to the culture that we have. I could seriously go for some bubblegum right now. I'm always going to choose my favorite restaurant, Hooters, over anything else.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Shout out to Hooters, my former place of employment as a delivery driver. Shout out to Hooters. All right, let me finish the recap of Beet beetlejuice and then we can do other things so they they consult with beetlejuice and they find out that he's a pervert like within seconds they're like oh actually we don't want to meet with this guy but he looks at gina davis's skirt like three seconds after they meet the first thing he does is like he kisses her whenever he's just like oh he's another surprise kiss we We'll get into it. We have a grand legacy of surprise kisses. I would say that kiss still is not worse than Brendan Fraser and the Mummy. No, it's way worse.
Starting point is 00:21:52 No, it's not. Yes, it is. Brendan Fraser and the Mummy is the worst surprise kiss we've ever talked about on this podcast. It's horrific. I think that Beetlejuice pushes it over the top. Brendan Fraser is sick in the head in that movie. Lund? Anyways.
Starting point is 00:22:03 No. At least he's not covered in scabs. First of all, I would prefer Brandon Fisher be covered in scabs for all of the mummies. No one's seen him for a while. He could be covered in scabs now. We just don't know. No, he's around. I keep track
Starting point is 00:22:18 of him. He's around. Are they filming Blast from the Past 2? No! Come on, that'd be fun. How about they make Scarface, but it make a Scarface, but it's not Scarface, it's Scabface. It's Star-Spreaded Frasier. Yes.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Good idea, Jay. I will sign on as director. Would you like? Thank you so much. So anyway, they were like, wow, fuck, we can't work with this Beetlejuice guy.
Starting point is 00:22:40 He's a gross pervert. And then the family, the Dietzes, find out about the ghosts, the Maitlands. And they're like, oh, we're going to exploit them and have it be a whole, we're going to have a little museum and people can come and look at all the ghosts. It almost becomes a rollercoaster movie. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Yeah. But it doesn't. But then it doesn't. And then. Missed rollercoaster opportunity. Oh, Jesus. After that, after they find out and they want to exploit him, they invite all their friends up from New York City and then they have the dance scene.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Oh, the amazing dance scene. The musical dance scene. Everyone at that party is dressed to the nines. It's always amazing to me, no matter what movie it happens in, where people dress up to go to someone else's house. It's just like like in what world would i i mean i mean i'm if i invite you over to my house i want you to look but you're the best i came over in a tuxedo and mike you you came like looking nice you you know you had like a top layer
Starting point is 00:23:40 now you're in your your uh your your fun vegan punk layer and i did not come on this podcast to be disrespected like this there's a story every outfit tells a story yeah no i'm kidding it's closed you just need them is your story woke up outside i'm gonna go overdose in the bathroom I have to Somehow slept in a tree I have to shut up So the next thing that happens in Beetlejuice
Starting point is 00:24:13 Is The Dietzes are trying to Exploit Adam and Barbara Otho now has The book, the handbook for the Recently deceased and he like does this spell or something to like summon them and so he summons Adam and Barbara
Starting point is 00:24:30 but they get all like weird and old and they start decaying and stuff so they're like crap we need and then Lydia's like oh shit I need this Beetlejuice guy's help to fix everything and in comes the big problem you mean when he forces
Starting point is 00:24:46 a teenage girl to marry him? Okay. First of all, first he turns into a big snake. Which is a different problem. I've come for your daughter. Come for your daughter, Chuck. Which is a beautiful line. And he says it to a pervert.
Starting point is 00:25:00 A fake pervert says it to a real pervert. I know. That's just a little bit of movie magic yeah that's just something you can only get in the burton verse but yeah that the wedding scene is it's crazy how ever like everything about it is a big old problem and it's still so much fun where he's forcing a teenager to marry him is actively like kind of like shoving her around and being like boomer and then and then whenever gina davis tries to speak he puts a zipper on her
Starting point is 00:25:32 mouth he puts like a metal plate yeah it's every frame a woman is in that scene is just like insane yeah gina davis's uh arc in that scene goes zipper on the mouth metal plate over the mouth sent to the desert attacked by a giant snake it really ramps up quickly it's heightening baby yeah rule of threes so then i mean beetlejuice is the rule of three is taken to the extreme feminist icon beetlejuice yes i'm sorry so the maitlands are like no we can't let him marry this teenage girl so they find a way to stop him very cool wedding dress when on arrival
Starting point is 00:26:10 she's not like the other girls it matches his maroon suit and then they're like no don't marry each other and they save Lydia from being married to a pervert and then Beetlejuice I forget what happens to him at the end. Oh, he goes to the waiting room.
Starting point is 00:26:28 He gets, because they come back, Barbara comes back on the big sandworm snake and it crashes through the ceiling and eats Beetlejuice and pushes them into hell. Talk about a feminist icon, the big snake. Feminist icon, big snake. Right, and then at the end, The big snake. Feminist icon big snake. Right. And then at the end, the Maitlands and the Dietzes learn to coexist.
Starting point is 00:26:50 They just live in a house all together. One big happy family. That's the weirdest part. That's the weirdest part of the movie. That it ends with a commune. Not that a hundred and something year old dead man tries to marry a teenager or that a worm is a big plot point but that these people are like yeah we'll let these ghosts raise our
Starting point is 00:27:10 child cause they're like how'd you do on the math test and then it's another big fun scene yeah when one of the writers is up yeah up on the wires and dancing that's great so that's this story why don't they let
Starting point is 00:27:26 beetles just live with them it's weird that he's the it's weird that he's the villain of the movie and he's barely in the movie and it's like you're never rooting for him and he's also not the title character and yeah it like it's part of why this movie is a bit confusing to me no i understand it 100 yeah well you're you're a sick pervert with a lot of problems listen it took me a while to peel all the scabs off of my face before i got here let me just say we're usually not this mean to our guest so sorry no i'd see no this is you should see what i've been subjected to in this room it would whoa i also might say that it looked like i woke up in a tree true okay no i said it looks like you slept in a tree i woke up out of the tree yeah you fell out of the tree and then you woke up uh anyway so have i described jamie's
Starting point is 00:28:17 clothes as quote bought by the pound before that was that i think about that like once a week that's fine it's fine all right let's talk about the portrayal of women i don't know movie uh what about in this room let's start with this room i think caitlin's great fuck off thank you but i'm not you're wrong so the main female character is Barbara. And then we've also got Lydia and Delia is the stepmother. Yeah. And then we have a few like secondary characters like Juno is the caseworker who has her throat slit open and smoke comes out of it. That's a fun detail.
Starting point is 00:28:58 That's fun. I love her and the football team together. Oh, yeah. That's great. Oh, yeah. When they keep calling our coach. Yeah. And then Jane Butterfield is like like, the neighbor who's,
Starting point is 00:29:08 like, trying to get them to sell the house. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And then, as far as, like, the famous icon Beetlejuice, who is gender. I would say he transcends gender. I would say that Beetlejuice
Starting point is 00:29:23 is definitely genderless genderless icon uh no in all seriousness he's a man and he's a horny man and what does beetlejuice's penis look like oh god i don't even of course i pictured like snake like very like painted white with a bunch of like green scabs all over it i have to change my underwear description of a haunted scabby penis is it too much to say that i bet you he comes scabs is that too much to say no that's the perfect amount of things to say in regards to coming scabs so there's beetlejuice i hear it every day in my head it's like hitting open a beehive with a with a bat let's quit beetlejuice is in the movie for like 20 minutes he's usually uh sexually assaulting
Starting point is 00:30:24 a woman in some way kind of his thing yeah yeah at very least he's presented as a gross horny dude true but we're not supposed to be rooting for him no which is a confusing thing about this movie yeah well it's called beetlejuice right but he's like still i would would argue, like a beloved character. Right? Like people are like, yeah, Beetlejuice. I'm already like, oh, I'm going to be Beetlejuice for Halloween. Yeah. All female reboot of Beetlejuice.
Starting point is 00:30:56 There was the Beetlejuice cartoon which came out where he was a much nicer character. Oh, good. And him and Lydia were like friends. Yeah, and Beetlejuice would sometimes like learn lessons. Yeah, yeah. He'd be like, well, sometimes, I guess, you have to treat your scabs. Sometimes you have to share your scabs with your friends. Let's not talk about scabs anymore. I can't stop thinking about Beetlejuice coming scabbed out of his scabs.
Starting point is 00:31:17 You're welcome. Listeners, I'm so sorry. I can't apologize enough for what this discussion has become. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner. Oh, excuse become. I'm sorry. I didn't say it sooner. Oh, excuse me. This is discourse. This is important. The listeners are here to be like, what does Foliaris?
Starting point is 00:31:33 We're calling on you. No, we're not. All right. So Beetlejuice, he sexually assaults Barbara. He does the surprise kiss. Right. He's a skirt peeker. He's a, yeah. He does the surprise kiss. Right. Lots of, he's a skirt peeker. He's a, yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:46 He peeks at everyone's skirt. And then there's like a part where he all, he like kind of fondles Alec Baldwin and then he like turns around and then also grabs Barbara. So he's just like fondling them both. Yeah. And it's not. He's just, he's horny. He's extremely horny.
Starting point is 00:32:00 He's horny. At one point Juno builds a whorehouse. Right. Her words. Yeah. And then a very sharp beetle very horny beetle just shimmies over to it i forget how does he get sharp he's just holding him because he's tiny he's in like the model town that they have in the so she has him he's tiny and then he just grows spikes and she drops him he has like
Starting point is 00:32:24 magic powers yeah what is the because he can just spikes and she drops him. He has like magic powers apparently. Yeah, what is the- Because he can just like send her to the desert. I feel like there's a- He can just be wearing Alec Baldwin's clothes all of a sudden. That's a fun point. There's a lot of world building in this movie, but also not enough because I don't understand like what the limit of what he can do.
Starting point is 00:32:40 I don't understand the rules of the world. I mean, he's kind of like a genie, right? Kind of. Except there's no wishes, so it's not like a genie. And a bad one. He has to be summoned. Jafar, when he becomes a genie at the end of Aladdin, like the return of Jafar, it would be like that.
Starting point is 00:32:57 Yeah. Highly underrated sequel, The Return of Jafar. I think it's probably pretty bad. Look forward to our episode. Look forward to our episode on The Return of Jafar. I think it's probably pretty bad. Look forward to our episode on The Return of Jafar. Feminist icon Jafar. We're going to do Return of Jafar. Gay icon. I'll say it.
Starting point is 00:33:12 I think most Disney villains are gay icons. Yeah, yeah. Scar? Super gay. Ursula? Gay icon. I mean, pretty much all of them. What's his name from Beauty and the Beast? Gaston? Gay icon. Nah. What's his name from Beauty and the Beast? Gaston. Gaston. Gay icon.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Nah. He's like a fuckboy icon. He's still an icon. Of course. He's an icon to fuck. As long as he's an icon. To fuckboys. He was his feminist icon.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Yeah. I don't even know where to begin with this movie. This is like a weird one to discuss because barbara is i'd say plays just as active as a role as adam does yeah but they're not what's they're not like fun i don't know but they're the emotional they're like the emotional connection to the movie you want them to not turn into dust right yeah yeah they're i i would argue like dual protagonists yeah there's like not one more than the other that sort of has like the main focal point i see like they're play pretty equal parts although i feel like alec baldwin's character
Starting point is 00:34:10 is maybe a little bit more active because he's the one who like figures out you have to draw the door and he's the one who's like doing more to try to read the book and try to figure out the situation they're both yeah doing like haunting stuff in equal parts but i feel like yeah if you break it down like if we did like a dialogue breakdown for this one for sure alec baldwin would edge genie do is out but then at the end we get the big feminist icon big snake and so it really saves yeah saves the day uh so that's that's good yeah that's true because adam just like gets in a little car and like drives it into beetlejuice's foot yeah something, that's true. Because Adam just like gets in a little car and like drives it into Beetlejuice's foot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Something like that. Yeah. And like explodes a little bit and he jumps around. So many fun goofs. But yeah, it's true. Like, so Gina Davis's character kind of saves the day. She goes and she harnesses the feminist icon, Big Snake. That's what leads to Beetlejuice's demise.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Yeah, I thought she was kind of like response you know responsible for the big end uh let's talk about lydia okay okay sound like i had a follow-up thought and i did you gotta say it now i okay so i was looking up because i uh once i was like watching clips of i was like oh for sure there's a million shitty like listicles about how Lydia is a feminist icon. And there are. They're all so funny. Like my favorite one. I found one that was called Nine Times Lydia Dietz Was a 90s Feminist Hero.
Starting point is 00:35:38 First of all, this movie came out in 1988. Yes. You fucking idiot. And sorry for calling out this bustle writer, but bustle is like corporate feminism and I don't care. So anyways, they're like, Lydia is a feminist because she's weird. Lydia is a feminist because she doesn't wear primary colors. She's a little bit different. So I struggle with Lydia.
Starting point is 00:36:04 Granted, when I was was younger i thought she was the coolest person ever but i do like i think that she's just like a weird tim burton jerk off like fantasy girl and and she's act i mean like as a character she's she's active and kind of i can't even really think of an example of like what anything that she does that really influences the direction the story takes or like. Well, she becomes like their connection to the living world. So she's sort of like their liaison. Right. But I think she's mostly there to just be like. What's confusing? Well, not that any of these characters feel like real people.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Except for Famous Icon Beetlejuice, of course. Who's so sorry. We except for feminist icon beetlejuice of course who's so sorry we all know a beetlejuice apart from him everyone's a very like tim burton-esque version of a person sure but lydia especially felt one-dimensional and it's just like oh she's like a a teen a struggling teen and she's moody but also suicidal all of a sudden and it's like yeah all of a sudden wants to die yeah like weird where she's like bring me like what are you talking about she's a problem right i mean it's like a very weird depiction of like mental illness i don't like it's just it was bizarre that choice yeah I don't I think she's just like she falls into that same bucket that we talk about over and over and over it's just like she's not like the
Starting point is 00:37:33 other girls but she is because she's still conventionally attractive so it's just like a I don't know Tim Burton's version of that very boring constant in movies yeah she's different she's like the equivalent of julia roberts fixing a car in my best friend's wedding like oh or any woman runaway bride or runaway bride you're right yeah i don't know like yeah i still think that she has the best hair in the entire world and i love her outfits and I still 100% want to be her but it also feels like a trick thoughts yeah
Starting point is 00:38:08 I feel like the only the only big part of like feminist icon Micah Brucie here Mike literally texted me several hours ago
Starting point is 00:38:15 and requested that I asked to be called it the entire time but I'll take it this right well there you go but I think the only part where Lydia's character
Starting point is 00:38:23 is like really part of the storyline is right at the end when they're, like, about to die and Beetlejuice is there. And Adam and Bob are both like, we have to save this little girl. And it's also like, well, she's not that little. Oh, yeah. It was, like, weird that they, like, I don't know, categorize her as, like, this little girl. It's like, oh, she's, like, a teenager. But I don't know.
Starting point is 00:38:44 But it was, yeah. Her character is very, like, the more I thought about it, I it's like oh she's like a teenager and but i don't know but it was yeah her character is very like the more i thought about i was more like she is just always like watch out they're coming and she's just like there to tell adam and barbara that her parents are walking up the stairs like that's kind of what her character does she could be written out of this movie except for the last beat where like she becomes relevant to the plot only when she's being forced to marry a corpse like which i found it interesting that she didn't try to like put up more of a fight that like because he was just like we're getting married and she's like okay well i think he like cast some weird spell like she was like trying to say no and like maybe say his name and he like cast that weird spell, like, she was, like, trying to say no and, like, maybe say his name.
Starting point is 00:39:25 And he, like, cast that weird spell on her and then he was talking through it. Like, he, like, throws her away. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But then she just stood there. Yeah. There's, in that whole scene, it's kind of jarring to watch because there's so many, like, people taking two steps and then being like, hey, don't do that.
Starting point is 00:39:44 I'm like, keep keep walking what are you doing yeah like stop the wedding but they stand in place and then beetlejuice is like i'm gonna put a steel plate on your mouth like there's there's there was time yeah all someone has to do is say beetlejuice beetlejuice beetlejuice which is people cannot do it cannot get it out they can't like it takes some decades to do it. Beetle juice! There's one. Okay, let's try it one, two more times. Beetle juice! And then he gets them.
Starting point is 00:40:16 He gets them with his weird magic powers that we don't know the rules of. No, we sure don't. The scene where he makes Lydia try to guess his name is out of control. It's so long. Because he immediately shows her. He's like, all right, I'll show you. Let's play charades. And then he shows her he's like alright I'll show you let's play charades and then he shows her a beetle and she goes beetle and then he shows her orange juice and she goes breakfast
Starting point is 00:40:31 like I would immediately be like bug like I wouldn't go to exactly what kind of bug it was right but then not know what and great product placement too minute made you gotta listen who else is gonna pay for those big spikes and snakes other than Minute Maid orange juice?
Starting point is 00:40:49 Who's gonna make Beetlejuice pointy? You gotta ask the big business questions. Yeah, that movie is definitely in the pocket of Big Orange Juice. Of Big Orange, listen. Feminist icon Big Orange Juice. Also, every time Beetlejuice is on the screen, there's a very gratuitous use of fun sound effects. There's a literal boing at one point. There's a boing in this movie.
Starting point is 00:41:16 It also has a high amount of Danny Elfman strings. I love the Danny Elfman score, though. Oh, boy. Spider-Man. Spider-Man. And Spider-Man 2. And Men in Black. And Men in Black.
Starting point is 00:41:31 Wild. And several others. Back to School is a really good one. I've never seen that movie. Oh. I don't think it would fare very well on this podcast. Hey, most movies don't. Nor would most movies.
Starting point is 00:41:41 But I think it's a good movie. I guess, like, the main points i have for the movie is that like it's weird that most of the time you see beetlejuice on screen he is sexually assaulting one of the female characters or forcing them well the whole thing so yeah and then and then like in a stinker like he's just very cute and everyone's like oh beetlejuice it's what he does he's gonna honk your boob he's gonna come up and he's gonna honk you and that's what beetlejuice does and everyone's like that's not cool and then he's like ah man i'm gonna do it well it's all about complicitness in the beetlejuice world so the reason that he needs lydia to marry him is that
Starting point is 00:42:23 he's like i'm kind of like a tourist. He basically needs a green card, but it seems like he well, we don't understand the rules of this world very well. The rules are whatever needs to happen. Because he can be summoned and he can live among these people. So what does he want exactly? Does he want
Starting point is 00:42:40 to be able to live among the living? Anyway. Sometimes it just sounds like i'm bored and i would rather not be here yeah i think he wants to get out and just like wreak havoc on the world look up more skirts no there's so many skirts out in the world i that's true lots of skirts to peek up for this old scab that's what my dad says before he leaves the house every morning. Hey, just remember, there's so many skirts to peek up out there
Starting point is 00:43:10 for this old scab. Oh, God, anyway. Yeah, so he's just like, oh, I gotta marry this teenage girl. Why doesn't he try to marry Barbara? Interesting criticism. Yeah. Well, she's already had... Hey, why not her? Why not one. Why not?
Starting point is 00:43:25 Why not me? Catherine O'Hara is good. Why not Caitlyn? Why doesn't he want to marry me? When he first is brought out, he immediately asks Alec Baldwin if his marriage is going well. That's true. That's true. He's closing it. But the thing is, Beetlejuice, you know, he wants to lock it down.
Starting point is 00:43:45 But listen, he's rude. I think Beetlejuice, you know, he wants to lock it down. But listen, he's rude. I think Beetlejuice is the original pickup artist. I think he started nagging people. Feminist icon Beetlejuice. Feminist icon mystery from the TV show Pickup Artist. Nine Reasons 90s icon Beetlejuice is a feminist pickup artist. He uses your voice to marry you. Yeah, he takes away your voice and speaks for you.
Starting point is 00:44:12 Yeah. He did not lip sync that very well either. Michael Keaton has a lot of skills. I don't know if lip syncing is one of them. He's amazing in this movie. He's so good. It's great. There's never...
Starting point is 00:44:24 I feel like this movie could only work with michael keaton as the character i feel like most other people are so like he's so charming that you're like oh beetlejuice you scamp but if it was like someone else he'd be like this guy needs to go to demon jail or whatever oh yeah your test the steve buscemi test steve buscemi test i don't know i think he might be able to do it i think ste Steve Buscemi test. The Steve Buscemi test. I don't know. I think you might be able to do it. I think Steve Buscemi might be able to do this. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:49 To play Beetlejuice? Yeah. Like, it wouldn't be the same, but I think you could have done it. Yeah. Alfred Molina could not do this part. I think a lot of Michael Keaton's lines were... He could take Geena Davis' part. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:44:59 If he wanted. I'm going to be honest with you. I still don't know who he is. Shut up. I swear, I don't know. Get out of here. I don't know who he is. Shut up. I swear I don't know. Get out of here. I don't know who he is. I feel sick.
Starting point is 00:45:08 I'm sorry. Have you seen Spider-Man 2? Have I seen? I don't know if I've seen Spider-Man 2. You have to have. You've seen Beetlejuice 200 times. I mean, 200 might be an exaggeration, but I've seen Beetlejuice a lot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:18 And I have seen Spider-Man 2 probably zero times. It's a classic. I saw Spider-Man 3. What? Weird. No, that's bad. That was a bad one. That's one of the I saw Spider-Man 3. Weird. No, that's bad. That was a bad one. That's under the theaters.
Starting point is 00:45:28 But the dance scene is really good. I love the dance scene. And Tover Grace. Where's that guy? He's probably trying to find the rest of his name. Where's that guy? Where's Haley Joel Osment? Actually, I know.
Starting point is 00:45:42 A couple days ago, Haley Joel Osment was near a herd of cattle, and it's like, where are you? Can I come? I was also near a herd of cattle recently. I was in Pennsylvania visiting my mom, and I saw llamas, I saw cows, I saw horses just in fields roaming around. Did you see Haley Joel Osment? I didn't.
Starting point is 00:46:01 We were not at the same cow field, I guess. What's the point i know hey let's talk about whether this movie passes the bechdel test yeah uh yeah as in yeah let's talk about it or yeah as in yeah it does i think it does i think it does too it does yeah i was really keeping an eye out i was like i picked this and i really hope it does everything's riding on this yeah and it does and in fact right away like the the Jane Butterfield character comes up to the house and she's like, I found a family who wants to buy this from you. And she's like, go away, Jane.
Starting point is 00:46:36 Right. There's a lot of it. Yeah. There's a lot of like it passes a lot of times for a movie that has prominent scab man skirt peek teenager like is an undead sexual assailant just to prove that it is a flawed system because it passes many times yeah yeah like every time barbara and juno talk yeah right it's like they're just talking about like you gotta be better at being dead like whatever she talks about with a weird throat.
Starting point is 00:47:06 Yeah, it's pretty bad. If you look up that actress, Young, total hottie. I want to know. I wonder what the woman who works behind, like the woman who plays the receptionist in. The one who's like, too bad I slit my wrist. Yeah, yeah. My little accident. And she like shows off her.
Starting point is 00:47:24 And everyone goes I wanna know who Yeah I should have Looked up who that is Cause I was like You're like fun You're a I bet you
Starting point is 00:47:30 She's a star Yeah Oh and then there's The lady who's like Sawed in half You see her torso sitting And then next to her Is her leg
Starting point is 00:47:37 Yeah and Beetlejuice Tries to grab her leg And then her top half Slaps him Yeah So he's not doing great Yeah yeah But she's
Starting point is 00:47:43 She's the only woman who stuck up for herself in this movie. Yeah. Against Beetlejuice. That's true. Until he gets eaten by a feminist icon,
Starting point is 00:47:50 Big Snake. It's crazy to just see, like, two feminist icons in the same scene together and one gets eaten by the other. Also, scenes where Lydia talks to her stepmom
Starting point is 00:48:03 and scenes where Barbara talks to Lydia. A lot of times there are men in the room when that happens, but there's isolated conversations between two women that pass. It passes handily. I feel like if you had a dialogue breakdown, I think in this movie it might be that women talk more than men because I feel like there's more prominent female characters in the in the movie like the the male characters that like have a bunch of lines are alec baldwin the dad and otho and beetlejuice probably is behind all of them because he's barely there yeah and then it's like because then you have like big like big monologues from juno you have the lady in the reception and then you have like barbara and katherine o'hara and uh lydia like all yeah and you have like all the people from the party but
Starting point is 00:48:51 none of them really talk no they all just kind of like sit there yeah and then otho was mean to that woman that he brought for some reason i like so much we didn't really talk about other rules yeah i hated him as a kid. As a kid, because I was like, he's trying to ruin the house that these people love. And then now I'm like, yeah, he's like a funny character. He's fun. He's a great dancer. There's a scene where Lydia's talking to her stepmom about ghosts.
Starting point is 00:49:17 And then Delia is like, my agent Bernard is coming for the dinner party. Not to be confused with Bernard. Bernard. From Spider-Man 2. I really got to watch this Spider-Man 2. I'll describe it to you. There's this great scene that James Franco's in in Spider-Man 2 where they're trying to replicate the magic between Batman and his butler, Michael Caine.
Starting point is 00:49:43 But it's James Franco and his butler michael caine but it's james franco and his butler bernard and bernard enters it's the only line he has in the whole movie he's out of focus and he says sir i you your father only obsessed over his work right yeah then james franco says good night bernard who does james franco play in spider-man harry spider-man's best friend but it's complicated because he's spider-man let's talk about spider anyways uh what if spider-man starting it's complicated wouldn't that be another alec baldwin joint one of the only movies my father has ever talked to me about it's a movie about divorce what do you think of course he's gonna be into it yeah just a and joint. Oh, yeah. It's true. One of the only movies my father has ever talked to me about. That's so weird.
Starting point is 00:50:25 It's a movie about divorce. What do you think? Of course he's going to be into it. Yeah, just a... Yeah, when you get divorced, all you want to do is see other media
Starting point is 00:50:32 about divorce. You know, you like to see yourself in the things you watch. That's true. It's complicated. So he only watches It's Complicated
Starting point is 00:50:38 and Blue Crush. The surfer movie? Yeah, the surfer movie. Is there a divorce in that movie? No no i think he just likes surfing your dad's great uh hey let's rate the movie on our nipple scale okay so we rate the movie on a scale of zero to five nipples based on its portrayal of women so i'm gonna give it oh man again this is a tough one uh i, just thinking back to all the discourse we had about scabby cum.
Starting point is 00:51:08 My daughter? Scabby cum? Yes. Her. That sounds like an old-timey guy who's a tonic salesman. He's like, scabby cum here. To tell you about this new tonic I've made up. It turns your cum into scab. I'mic I've made up. It turns your comments to scare.
Starting point is 00:51:26 I'm sorry I brought it up again. He's a little bit on the nose as a salesman. I'm going to give it, I guess, two and a half nipples because there are a lot of pretty significant roles for women. They're all mostly playing a pretty active role in the story and the narrative to like move it forward. I'd say probably just as much as any of the male characters. It is concerning to me that pretty much anytime Bill Juice is on screen, he is sexually assaulting the nearest female character. And while the other characters are like, oh, you're a pervert. He's gross. He's bad. Us as a society are like, he's funny.
Starting point is 00:52:07 He's funny. He's funny. I like him. What does his penis look like? That's pretty much just us. But now we've put that question out in the world. There's got to be erotic Beetlejuice fan fiction. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:52:20 There's so. Okay. Look it up. Okay. Yeah. So two and a half nipples, just because I'm not really sure what to make of this movie. And the nipples belong to the dog that they have to avoid crashing into. The dog that kills them.
Starting point is 00:52:35 The dog that kills them. And they have to swerve to miss the dog, and they crash and go over a bridge. So that dog, which I'm guessing has eight nipples. Because if a dog is anything like a cat, it has eight nipples. This has been Cat Facts with Caitlin. So two and a half nipples and they belong to the shaggy dog. That dog killed them. He was on a board that was holding up the car and then he jumped off. And that just proves my point that i've made over the years that every
Starting point is 00:53:06 dog is rude i'm pretty sure that fall would not have killed it was such a short fall yeah it was like 20 feet at most it was like i've jumped off of things in the water that high yeah and i'm still here yeah they could have escaped that car yeah i don't i don't believe that they died i just think they didn't want to live anymore. They hit the water and they immediately were like, well, we've resigned to this now. Guys, in this Beetlejuice erotic fanfiction I've been reading while you've been having this conversation, he's referred to as Beej. Beej? Beej's eyes bulge out of his head at the look of Lydia's corset.
Starting point is 00:53:43 Oh, no. Oh, he fucks Lydia. Oh, 100%. I want him to fuck Big Snake. Big Snake fucks him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big Snake goes straight through Beetlejuice. But Beetlejuice loves it.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Exploded the spikes. Which is the way that he comes. Yeah. No. He turns into scabs. Scabs. Okay. I'm going to give it...
Starting point is 00:54:08 Sorry, that was like a very intense fanfic. We'll link it. Link in description. This disgusting fanfiction. Just kidding. Okay. I'm going to give it... I think I'm going to give it two.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Yeah. I'm going to give it two nippies for all the reasons you described. I wish Jaina Davis' character was more active. two nippies for for all the reasons you described but it's i don't like it i wish gina davis's character was more active i think that minus the end you could totally write out winona rider out of this movie and it would not make that much of a difference there are a lot of female characters but not all of them are important enough to the plot uh bealejuice feminist icon though and that's important uh it's i mean at the end of the day we got a feminist icon out of this movie and what more could you ask for well part of the the i mean the movie if you isolate the conflict which is that they don't want these people in
Starting point is 00:55:01 their house they need beetlejuice's help but as soon as they get it they don't want it anymore and then it's like a matter of getting rid of i don't know like it's all over the place yeah the story is i think the problem was like maybe because the female characters aren't as like active as we'd like them to be is because like the narrative is bananas and like not that well constructed yeah you heard it here first from Caitlin and her really good opinions. You have two degrees. I have two degrees and one of them is a master's in screenwriting from Boston University. Fuck all of you who are like, show us your degree. I don't have to show you anything.
Starting point is 00:55:36 I'm a truth-er. I have nine degrees. No, I don't believe you. But you should believe me. All of them are in film. I got them from various universities nine different ones to be exact i went to college so i'm gonna give this it's hard from zero to five i feel like three is too generous but i want to say three because I feel like most of the male characters are in
Starting point is 00:56:06 the movie are very passive. Like other than wanting to turn to buy the whole town and turn it into an amusement park and escape the confines of death. Yeah. But just like, I mean, but like the father, he literally just like sits in a room for most of the,
Starting point is 00:56:23 of the movie. So like, don't disturb me yeah the conflict is that like delia wants to like redo the house so it's like i think it's kind of her pushing she's pushing the conflict more way more than he is yeah but other than that it's like yeah i think like barbara and adam are like very even they kind of like he is kind of like being like oh did you draw the door and knock on it but she's like we gotta read the book like she's like pushing for them to do the stuff so it's like i feel like it's pretty even and i feel like really
Starting point is 00:56:57 the movie is a vehicle for tim burton painting people's faces with scabs i feel like it's mostly that and mostly him building little tiny models of towns. Oh, tiny head feminist icon. Tiny head feminist icon. Feminist icon woman's legs. There's a lot of feminist icons in this movie. Happiest woman of Hollywood. Yeah, literally.
Starting point is 00:57:17 Feminist icon football team. There's so many. 10 football team feminist icons. Oh, boy. Oh, I'm going to... Give your Oh boy And I Oh I'm gonna I'm gonna Oh yeah give your nippies So I'm gonna say three
Starting point is 00:57:28 Because I Cause you never know And it's never said And I'm just gonna say That big snake is a woman Whoa Very easily could be You know what
Starting point is 00:57:36 You can't tell Just by looking at them Who are you giving Your nipples to I'm gonna put those Three nipples on the On the big snake On the big snake
Starting point is 00:57:43 Hell yeah Give me that snake mouth. But two for eyes and then one in the middle of the head. Okay, like a cyclops. A cyclops nipple snake. My nipples are penises and they're beetle juices. And I think we should
Starting point is 00:57:58 end the episode there. Can my nipples be the nipples of the woman in Total Recall that has three boobs? No! Okay. Well, okay. You know what? It's always great to ask. it would be the nipples of the woman in Total Recall that has three boobs? No! Okay. Well, okay. You know what? It's always great to ask.
Starting point is 00:58:09 Yes. Please ask for permission. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. So, Mike, thank you so much for being here and for doing this. Where can people find you online? I'm at Mike Abruzzi on all social media, and I have a website, MikeAbruzzi.com, that I have never updated. So it's pointless.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Is it made on Wix? It is made on Wix. I knew it. And it's free, and it tells you that it's made on Wix because I'm not going to pay money for it to not say that. I knew it.
Starting point is 00:58:35 Of course. And shout out to Lafe for recording for us. What's the name of your podcast network again? The Brain Machine Network. Go to BrainMachineComedy.com. Hell yeah. The Brain Machine Network. Go to brainmachinecomedy.com. Hell yeah. You gotta check out brainmachinecomedy.com. Although Mike did suggest
Starting point is 00:58:50 that it should be rebranded as Life's Little Podcast. I think it should be called Life's Little Podcast. I'm all for it. You heard it here first. Thank you again for having us here. Thanks for being here. You can follow us at Bechtelcast on Twitter, on Instagram. You can check us out on Facebook. We've got a website. Wow. Bechtelcast on Twitter, on Instagram. You can check us out on Facebook. We've got a website.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Wow. Bechtelcast.com. Made on Wix? Not made on Wix. Squarespace. That'll... That's it. That'll do. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Comes gives.
Starting point is 00:59:23 Daphne Caruana Galizia was a Maltese investigative journalist who on October 16th 2017 was assassinated. Crooks Everywhere unnerves the plot to murder a one-woman WikiLeaks.
Starting point is 00:59:35 She exposed the culture of crime and corruption that were turning her beloved country into a mafia state. Listen to Crooks Everywhere on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:59:52 To listen to new episodes one week early and 100% ad-free, subscribe to the iHeart True Crime Plus channel, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts. I'm NK, and this is Basket Case.
Starting point is 01:00:08 What is wrong with me? A show about the ways that mental illness is shaped by not just biology. Swaps of different meds. But by culture and society. By looking closely at the conditions that cause mental distress, I find out why so many of us are struggling to feel sane, what we can do about it, and why we should care. Listen to Basket Case every Tuesday on the iHeartRadio app,
Starting point is 01:00:32 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. In less than 90 miles, two women did something no other woman had done before, try to assassinate the president of the United States. One was the protege of Charles Manson. 26-year-old Lynette Fromm, nickname Squeaky. The other, a middle-aged housewife working undercover for the FBI. Identified by police as Sarah Jean Moore. The story of one strange and violent summer, this season on the new podcast, Rip Current. Hear episodes of Rip Current early and completely ad-free and receive exclusive bonus content by subscribing to iHeart True Crime Plus only on Apple Podcasts.

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