The Bechdel Cast - Hitch with Ronald Young Jr.

Episode Date: October 2, 2025

This week, Date Doctors Jamie, Caitlin, and special guest Ronald Young Jr. discuss Hitch (2005)! Vote for We the Unhoused at the Signal Awards at https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2025/shows/genre/activism-public-service-social-impact  Follow Ronald on Instagram, Threads, and Letterboxd at @ohitsbigron and check out his podcasts Weight For It and Leaving the Theater!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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The Beckdale cast. Hey, Jamie. Hey, Caitlin. If I do 90% of the introduction to this episode, will you come in with the other 10%? I'll come in with the other 10%. and then we'll fall in love. Okay, great. And then we'll be, I guess that makes you hitch and me, Kevin James.

Is that the dynamic? Well, there are two different scenarios here. Am I the Kevin James of the podcast? I guess, yeah, it's true. I could also be Kevin James, what is, God, rom-com names are so elusive. You just are naming the actors. Kevin James, rich lady.

Addison? Adelaide. Allegra. A legra. She has the name of an, isn't that an allergy medicine? It is the name of an allergy medicine. This is an allergy medicine coded movie. Oh my gosh. Benadryl makes a big appearance. Anyways, yes, I'm down to do 10% of the work. That sounds like it would be a huge relief. It would rock. Okay, great. Welcome to the Bechtal cast. My name's Jamie Loftus. My name is Caitlin Durante. This is our show where we examine movies through an intersectional feminist lens using the Bechtel. simply as a jumping off point. And what is that, do you think, Jamie? Well, I do feel like it is relevant to today's discussion because there's a case for it, but I don't know.

So the Bechtel Test is a mediatric created by our friend and yours, Alison Bechtel, back in the 80s for her comic, thanks to watch out for originally made as a one-off joke. It has since been adapted as a mainstream media tool that we talked. talk about very little on this show, but it is the title of the show. Many versions of this test, the version we use requires that two characters of a marginalized gender with names talk to each other about something other than a man for more than two lines of meaningful dialogue, whatever that means to you. Can't be a nameless waiter character.

Right. Unless, I guess, unless the waiter's giving Will Smith something he's allergic to, that would have been an interesting way to pass. Oh, sure. But yes, that is the metric, but we are mostly here to talk about intersexual feminism as it pertains to Hitch. Hitch 2005, directed by Andy Tenant, written by Kevin Bish. Kevin Bish, that son of a bish. That son of a bish. And then Andy Tennant frequent appearance on the show. He also directed It Takes 2. He directed, ever after. He directed Sweet Home Alabama. So this is the fourth Andy Tennant movie. We are covering on the show. Wild. So is it a feminist podcast? We don't know. But we have a wonderful

guest here today. We certainly do. He is an audio producer and host of the podcasts. Wait for it and leaving the theater. It's Ronald Young Jr. Hello. Hello. Hello and welcome. Welcome. Happy to be here. Happy to have you. We're big fans. Can't wait to talk about Hitch. I'm big fans of y'all as well. I saw you at the, at the Ambys this year, and I feel like you're, you're the outfit of the

embies this past year. It was just a, it was mostly the jacket was doing most of the work. Well, the glasses, I guess, as well. I was like, it was, no, it's the whole thing. It was the whole thing. Give yourself credit. Yes, what is your history with the movie Hitch? The movie Hitch came out when I was a junior.

and college. So I would have probably been barely 20 years old. Well, actually, I would have been solidly 20, maybe about to turn 21. And it was when Will Smith was on a tear in terms of the films that he had done. He had already done Ali.

I Am Legend was in his future. And this was during the same string that he was going to end up doing Hancock. So I was excited to see whatever the new Will Smith movie was. And when I saw the preview for this, I was like, oh, that looks cute. And I also love Kevin James.

I was watching a lot of King of Queens at the time, which I still think is a very funny show. But it was fun to see Kevin James start to begin to make his transition into more of a movie star because this was kind of the beginning of him starting to show up in movies. I think this is pre-Paul

Blart Mall Cop. I believe so. Yeah, this is part of the Road to Blart. Exactly. That's what I call it too, the Road to Blart TM. So he was headed in that direction. So seeing the preview was, I remember I was sitting in a room with some friends and they were like

I want to see that new Will Smith date doctor movie and then we were watching a movie at the time and you know how when DVDs used to have previews on them which is wild to think about but the preview came on and I was like oh that does look very good

they had him having the allergic reaction in the preview and all that so I was very excited to see it that was a huge part of the marketing of that movie I remember him drinking it and be like come on which that's really the only

kind of thing of that nature that happens in this movie but I also vividly remember the yeah the turn over the shoulder in the Kid Vingad's store and the like hibes prosthetics. It's a choice. It's a choice. It really is.

Very very romantic comedy coded of that era. They like they truly don't make them like this anymore. They don't. Which is like for better and worse at the same time you know? Yeah. Like as soon as I open

opening sequence comes on, you immediately start, like, longing for a better time. Sorry, I'm talking too much. I can talk about this all day. Well, that's what we're here to do. Yeah, we're here to get to the bottom of hitch. So you saw it when it came out, and then have you been revisiting it since, or did you kind of leave it in the past until now? So I bought it on DVD.

It is probably downstairs in my DVD collection, which is just a big binder of DVDs. I got rid of all the cases, because what do we even need those? I'm right there with you. Yeah, but I still have them. my DVD binder of like 200 DVDs. Okay, but the funny thing about that, okay, and I used to watch Hitch regularly, like, oh, y'all want to watch Hitch, like, just throw it on, like, great date movie, that type of thing. But all of those films that existed back then, even though I owned them,

depending on where they're positioned on streaming media, they completely leave my mind. It's like they don't exist anymore. So when y'all mentioned this, I was like, oh, yeah, I think it's been a solid, at least 10, maybe 15 years since I watched that movie. And I just, yeah, so it's, I loved it for a time when it was out. And then it just disappeared into the, the back corners of my mind. Yeah. You have to return.

We must return to Hitch. We got to go back. We have to go back. Jack, we have to go back. Jack, we have to go back. God, I just started watching Lost last year. And what a treat. What a treat.

Yeah, you say that now. What season are you on? Well, I've watched the whole series through twice, which is, I don't know. It's like I am, well, we got a table lost because I could keep going. Come back for Lost. We'll do a spinoff podcast. For all of Lost. Easy Prap.

Yeah, I got the flu and I watched Lost. You probably got it from the island. Oh, my gosh. One of the others. That's one of the others coughed in my mouth and here I am. Jamie, what's your history? with Hitch. My history with Hitch is that I saw it. I, I, this I feel like goes very firmly into my middle school sleepover canon and kind of an outlier in the rom-com genre because it's, I mean,

in a number of ways, but it's very rare in a rom-com for the man to be the like character that we're leading with. I feel like it's very, it's most often that he's kind of behind the woman trying to have it all. But this is like peak, well, I don't even know when peak Wolfsmith exactly was. It feels close. This feels pretty close. It's close. Yeah. But I hadn't seen it in at least 10 years, probably longer. Although I feel like you see, if you spend enough time on the internet, you see Hitch in the wild with some frequency. People remember Hitch. I, yeah, I most clearly remember the Hives scene. And then I didn't remember a bunch of stuff that I'm excited to talk about. But I mean, mainly re-watching this movie is like, I miss Eva Mendez. Yes. I miss her acting.

I mean, she's still thriving, but she doesn't act anymore and I miss it. She's just like the most charismatic woman on the face of the earth. Yeah. And so is, well, I mean, obviously, Will Smith is Will Smith. But, but yeah, I don't know. There's, I feel like this movie has been through so many waves of criticism, reconsideration, reclaiming, getting rid of it again.

It was so interesting going through the like, because there's tons of essays about Hitch every time it reaches an anniversary marker. And it always changes a little bit, the public perception of Hitch. And I feel like I would have felt

differently about it 10 years ago than I do now. It's all over the place. This movie is mixed bag. Because sometimes it's like it's so weird sometimes it's like oh a point is being approached

and then they're like never mind never mind it's so weird we're on the same page I love it I expected to not like it a lot less than I I mean there is stuff to love

about this movie I get why people return to it and Eva Mendez's unretired challenge Caitlin what's your history with Hitch I also saw it when it came out I remember the marketing a lot, and I was like, well, I guess.

Rom-coms have never really been my genre, and I prefer Will Smith when he's in an alien movie. But I was like, sure, I'll go with, I was, I think, a freshman or a sophomore in college at the time. So I imagine I went with some friends to see it in theaters, and I feel like I watched it a couple more times. since then, just because it would kind of be on in the room I was in. But I never had much of an attachment to it and forgot most of the things as well, except for the 90% 10% kissing advice. You remember that? I think about that like once a week. Not as like advice that I think people should follow but it's just it for some reason that stuck with me i get that that's a sticky that's a sticky bit of information it's a sticky thing because i'm always like i think what it is is i'm

afraid a man is gonna go 90% into trying to kiss me and like just how yucky i feel about that 90% is is too too many it's a lot that's a lot of percent it's maybe it should be 50 50 yeah i think that's a good threshold. I think it also articulates something that I don't believe in, which is the idea that when it comes to kissing, that the onus is on the man to like make the kiss happen, which is something that has bitten me in the behind so many times in life because there have been women who was like, oh, well, he didn't try to kiss me. He must not like me. And I was like, no, I'm just shy. And I don't, I'm afraid. I want to, but I don't know how to do it. And I don't want to do 90%. That feels like I'm encroaching on your space.

And now they're saying, I got to do 90%. This is why I think about it all the time. And weirdly, like, Hitch doesn't totally step away from the fact that, like, men obviously experience anxiety and confidence issues. Like, that is such a huge part of it. But then it gets weird again. I don't know. I think the movie vacillates.

I wrote this down. I think it vacillates between being a pickup artist's manual and then an actual guide to talking to human women. So at its worst, it's a pickup artist. At its best, it's like, here's how you talk to a woman. And I'm like, actually, that's not that bad when it's like, hey, just talk to her. Be nice. Like, be kind to her.

Listen. You know what to be? Listen. Listen. Yes. I'm like, that's not bad. But then because it throws it in a blender, it's like, wait a minute, wait a minute, this isn't right.

I don't know if you're doing this right. And then the ending being like, I don't know, then it's over. And then there's Grandma Hitch. I forgot about. Oh, yeah, Grandma Hitch. I would see that movie, too. Yeah, at least it's not, what's that movie? Crazy Stupid Love, where it's just like, here's how to be a pickup artist.

Yes. Yeah. It, like, sort of starts to veer into that territory sometimes, but it never gets all the way. Yes. And, yes, some of the advice that Hitch gives is solid advice. A lot of it isn't, but some of it is. And the takeaway from this movie, I think, is generally positive. But the point is I forgot most of it.

for the 90-10 thing, and I am sort of haunted by it. But we'll unpack that and more. Let's take a quick break, and then we'll come back for the recap. Hi there, this is Josh Clark from the Stuff You Should Know podcast. If you've been thinking, man alive, I could go for some good true crime podcast episodes, and have we got good news for you. Stuff You Should Know just released a playlist of 12 of our best true crime episodes of all time. There's a shootout in broad daylight.

People using axes in really terrible ways, disappearances, legendary heists, the whole nine yards. So check out the Stuff You Should Know true crime playlist on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. All I know is what I've been told, and that's a half-truth is a whole lie. For almost a decade, the murder of an 18-year-old girl from a small town in Graves County, Kentucky, went unsolved, until a local homemaker, a journalist, and a handful of girls came forward with a story. I'm telling you, we know Quincy Kilder, we know. A story that law enforcement used to convict six people, and that got the citizen investigator on national TV. Through sheer persistence and nerve, this Kentucky housewife helped give justice to Jessica Curran.

My name is Maggie Freeling. I'm a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, producer, and I wouldn't be here if the truth were that easy to find. I did not know her and I did not kill her, or rape or burn or any of that other stuff that y'all said. They literally made me say that I took a match and struck and threw it on her. They made me say that I poured gas on her. From Lava for Good, this is Graves County, a show about just how far our legal system will go in order to find someone to blame. America, y'all better work the hell up. Bad things happens to good people in small towns.

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who took on the medical establishment who risked everything to invent open-heart surgery. Welcome to the Wild West of American Medicine. Listen, I'm Chris Pine, and this is Cardiac Cowboys. If you like medical dramas, if you like heart-pounding thrillers, you will love cardiac cowboys. Listen on the I-Heart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Sponsored by Jasper, AI Build for Marketers. I started trying to get pregnant about four years ago now.

We're getting a little bit older, and it just kind of felt like the window could be closing. Bloomberg and IHeart Podcasts present. The Kind Body Story, a podcast about a company that promised to revolutionize fertility care. Introducing Kind Body, a new generation of women's health and fertility care. Backed by millions in venture capital and private equity, it grew like a tech startup. While Kind Body did help women start families, it also left behind a stream of disillusioned and angry patients. You think you're finally like with the right people in the right hands. And then to find out again that you're just not.

Don't be fooled. By what? All the bright and shiny. Listen to IVF disrupted, the kind body story, starting September 19 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Let's lock in its hitch time. I also, this reminded me of, I know that this is probably something that still happens, but I do associate. the naming convention, it kind of feels Jeeley coded to me, where you're like, oh, the guy's name is Jeeley?

The guy's name is Hitch. You're like, oh, I guess I didn't see that coming. Alex Hitchens, aka Hitch, Larry Jeeley, you know, could keep going. Also, Jeeley, Zerka, 2003, Hitch, Sirka, 2005, so you're hitting the nail on the head in terms of what it was happening. The people wanted what they wanted, except the day. One of the main differences being H. was wildly successful. It to this day is still the third most successful rom-com at the box office ever. Wow.

Whoa. Yeah. Of all time? What's two and one? Two and one. Oh, my gosh. It just had it up. Two and one.

One of them is, so this is at the box office. But yes, it beats pretty woman adjusted for inflation. It's my big fat Greek wedding. What Women Want are before. What Women One should not be number two. That's wild. What Women want is? Nasty.

That is not. Have y'all done that on this show? I'll be back. Yes. Okay. Do it again so I can talk trash. It's an interesting top ten is my big fat Greek wedding. What Women Want, Hitch, Pretty Woman, Wild.

There's something about Mary, crazy rich Asians, the proposal, which I barely remember. Sex in the City, Runaway Bride, knocked up. That's the top ten. Wow. That's, okay, so their box office. This is a preference. Which makes sense. Like, you're listing 10 movies that I think people would go see, but wow, Hitch being number

three. Well, but actually, it is like kind of a straight down the middle of romantic comedy in a lot of ways. Yeah. But, like, I mean, and we're about to unpack the real examinations of it, but I guess it's not that unsurprising. The other, number two, what women want, that's way more disappointing to me. That's too many.

Yeah. It's just too many. And, like, at least my Big Fat Greek wedding, I like. Correct. What women want is movie with a, with a dark aura. Yeah. Yeah. Evil vibes.

Yeah. Talk about pickup artists. My God. You totally. Like, even without Mel Gibson, it's scary. But with him, inexcusable. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. Can I say one thing? Oh, yeah, please. Oh, yeah. I just want to point out that when y'all, when y'all picked Hitch and I was so excited, I expected to be like anything that comes out in the early 2000s that I'm revisiting now, I'm expecting that I'm going to be like, what was. I thinking at this time.

And I really appreciate y'all because this was one of the rare exceptions where I'm like, great, it has some problems, but I don't, I don't feel dirty, like walking away from this, as I did from other things that came out around that time when we really thought we were invincible culturally as a country. Boy, did we know so little. So I really appreciate y'all bringing me in for this one. Oh, my gosh. We are so grateful to have you.

And let's meet Hitch, shall we? Alex Hitchins. Alex Hitchens, played by Will Smith. He is a dating coach, dubbed the date doctor. And something I think is hilarious about this movie is that everyone in New York City knows about the date doctor, as if he's like Spider-Man, where we don't know his true identity. But it's like, I've heard of him, though, and he's famous. Unlike Spider-Man, he has an amazing apartment. My God.

Yeah. Enormous. He's raking it in. Beautiful rom-com. I mean, it's like it's almost like self-aware the way they're doing it because he never says how much he charges. He's just like, that's why they pay me so much. I love this. This world is just class does not exist.

No. Really in this world. And sometimes that can be fun. You're like, sure, why not? Good for them. And good for hitch. Although, you know, at what cost? Right.

Okay, so we meet Hitch during a montage where he's helping men talk to women or get women to notice them or orchestrate a meat cute. There's also voiceover monologue from Hitch, and we'll talk about this, but it's advice. And again, some of it isn't horrible. A lot of it is quite gender prescriptive as far as this is what women like. And so that's what you should do about it. Correct. Yeah, leading with the women who are really into their career right now. Do you believe that?

Neither does she. She's lying. You're like, wow, I love this guy. Can't wait to hear her. Can't wait to follow his journey. Yeah. The good thing is when he's talking, I'm like, I feel good knowing that we know more than him at this point. So I'm like, bless.

I'm going to assume that Alex Hitchens grew up with the rest of us. Like by 2025, he's like, I said some things that I don't actually agree with anymore. And I'm like, oh, that's perfectly fine. That's the grace that I'm offering him at this point. I hope so. We come to this place to show Hitch Grace. You know, I wouldn't be mad about Hitch 2. You know, contemporary modern day 20 years later or whatever.

And he's changed his ways. If that's what gets us, Ava Mendes back, fine. I'll watch it. I'll go. I'll go. Yeah. Let's do it. Okay, so Hitch's thing is that he will help men for the first.

first three dates, and after that, they're on their own. Then we meet Sarah, played by Eva Mendez. Her various male colleagues and bosses are like, you need a boyfriend. And she's like, I don't have time for a boyfriend. I'm too focused on my career. She clocks 40 hours a week talking about how she doesn't need a boyfriend. Yep. I do like that they get, because she does, I mean, in, in,

Com fashion. She is a New York City journalist, but she's kind of like a dirty journalist. She's a, but not the way the movie frames it. The movie doesn't, they're just like, I just think it's, I mean, it makes sense in the plot. Why they, she ends up being a gossip. I don't know. Maybe it was just Sex and the City era and this was, this was a thing. True. Right. Because she's a gossip columnist at a newspaper, remember those. And some of her recent coverage has been on. on a celebrity named Allegra Cole and a breakup that she just went through. Can we just point out her apartment is way too big for a reporter in New York City? In classic Carrie fashion.

Yeah. You're just, you're like, her and hitch cumulatively, I'm just like, they're loaded. They're loaded and God knows how, but I'm happy for them. I support it. They're both living in like $3 million condos.

By far. We're not sure how. At least $3 million. Yes. Her door opens out. That's how I know you got money. If you're not concerned about the direction of your door opens, you're like, whatever. I got a doorman.

They can't get in here. And you don't know if they own, but they carry themselves as if they own the place. Yes. Yeah. Correct. Then we cut to hitch at a bar playing pool with a character played by Raging Zionist piece of shit, Michael Rappap. poor. Caitlin, I almost flipped the table.

I was like, how dare you'll bring me in for this movie? I'm so angry. What is this guy doing? May he rot in hell, this man? Nothing can prepare you to see. What a jump scare. Yeah. It really is.

That's such a good use of jump scare too. Doesn't exactly what happened. I was like, Michael Ryan, why? Worse than the Hives scene. Like, it's also just, I mean, we don't need to get into full Michael Rappaportlander, but like Zionist is the tip of the iceberg with this. I mean, he's just a vile

vile being. Overt racist, as I would say. Evil, evil man. Every mask is off with this guy. Yeah. At least he's only in this one scene and he never comes back, but they could have cut it, honestly. They should have cut it. They should do a 20th

anniversary release that cuts out the Michael Rappaport scene. Because also it's cuttable. It really is. Plot-wise, you don't need it. It's cutable and the movie is too long. It's two hours long. No rom-com should be longer than 90, 95 minutes. Like, what are we doing here? Although I do appreciate the long, extended wedding dance sequence at the end.

That's just a return to form. That's tradition. That's obviously not what goes on the cut of room floor. But we could, as you go through, we could probably say what could have been cut in terms of, like, story. Like, come on, you didn't need this part. Like, that's very, you said two hours, too. And I remember thinking, it feels like a tight 90, but. Then after a while, you're like, okay, it's still kind of going.

Like, what's happening here? Why are we still here? When that guy, Tom, shows up at the end, I was like, I'm done. Yes. I'm done. Yes. Who is Tom? This should have happened a scene ago.

Why is this happening now? Yes. Like, this is weird. This grand gesture, like, you've already done it. Why are we, what are we doing here? The grand gesture also. I was just like, this is a good weaponization of the Steve Buscemi test. If Steve Buscemi does anything that Hitch does in this movie, it's, it's menest.

sing in scary behavior. If Steve Bishibis, we made of them. This is a Bectocast original. This is a great. No, this is good. This should be candid. Are you serious?

That's amazing. And also terrible for Steve Buscemi. I'm so sorry. I know. It feels mean to our friend Steve, who's a bonafide haughty, but he plays creeps a lot. This would also work for Bill Scarsgarde.

So don't feel like it just has to be Steve Bucemi. Because you know how I know it's true about Bill Scarsguard. is that Barbarian doesn't work if Bill Scarsgar's not a little bit creepy because you think he's up to something the whole time but he's actually not good-looking guy, whatever.

But like, I'm just saying, you can slash that. It doesn't just have to be Steve Leacham. Ooh, that makes me feel great about this test because I was like, I don't want to come down on our friend Steve, but it's the same thing where it's just like that type cast actor. And so much of this movie, if you apply that test, you're like,

well, I don't know. I don't know about this. this hitch guy. Doesn't feel great. I love this. Throw himself on the hood of a car. I don't know. Now I'm seeing it all with Steve Buscemi. You took her to see.

Never mind. Oh yeah, the Ellis Island thing. And Steve, Jimmy, trapped you in Ellis Island. And you feel like I got to get out of here. Wait, even with Bill Scars Guard, it's still, like, again, you're like, why did you take me to see my murder and grandfather? Oh, I can't. I can't wait to get there.

Okay, I'm jumping ahead. I'm sorry. I kind of like the Ellis Island bit. It makes no sense, but I was like, yeah, we can cut it, but I liked it. Right. Anyway, the whole point of this, like, bar scene where they're playing pool is that Hitch is being told that he should try to find a meaningful, long-term relationship because Hitch's whole thing is that he only does very casual short-term dating. And according to the movie, that's bad and shallow. And also, women can't do it.

And women are just simply not allowed. Yeah, in this world, women have no desire to have casual sex and have no interest in it at all. Yes. And we're like, how, why is Hitch like this? Who broke his heart or whatever? And we get a flashback of Hitch in college before he had any game. where he fell in love with a woman named Kressida, and he came on too strong, and she broke his heart, but he learned, quote, unquote, from this experience, and that's why he does the work that he does,

and that's why he is the way that he is in his own dating life. It feels very studio notesy that they give you this explanation in full flashback. I kept waiting for, like, Cressida, for him to, like, run into Cressida or something. I feel like that could have been an interesting plot point of, like, him running into her 20 years later and, like, them having some sort of conversation or her being like, I'm sorry, I hurt you, even though he reacts quite violently when he finds out she's cheating. But I don't know. I kept, there was like so much specificity to that flashback that is like, you really think he's going to see her down the line. The other thing I want to point out is that when they do the flashback and all he does is put on glasses, I'm like, I just want to point out this man is still very good looking and he's still very, very normal of the age of the time that he was around. So I don't think he'd be not adjusted or unable to talk to women or date or whatever.

They kind of put him in this category that he is not in just because you put a pair of glasses on him. As a matter of fact, they might have improved what he looked like. I'm like, that's one of your five looks, Will. You should definitely be wearing glasses on other points in this movie. It just kind of takes you to like a specific fresh print era. You're like, yeah, we liked that. We liked that. Yes. Yeah, we're here for it, man.

We thought that was hot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Also, at this bar is Sarah with her friend Casey.

She's too much wearing her the Beatles shirt from Target. She's too much. She's cracking me up with her little t-shirts, her little blazers. You're like, oh, 2005. We were just doing whatever. To me, that was signaling like, she's not like the other girl. girls because she likes the Beatles and drinks beer. Yes, yes.

I think that that is exactly what it's supposed to be telegraphing, but I kind of don't have a problem with it. I think it's funny. Right. The Beatles. Wow, what a subversive choice. Yeah. It's so off-kilter, so quirky.

I've never heard of them. Say more. So Sarah and Casey are talking about dating and men and being single. So not passing the bechal test. Spoiler alert. At one point, they're never passing the bechal test, but interestingly to me, in one scene, they are not passing the bechal test

and eating some really, like, weird-looking food. When they go to the... They're eating, like, rice pudding in one of the scenes where they're not passing the bechal test. You're like, what a weird way to... Like, I like rice pudding, but it seems like a gentrified rice pudding spot. I was like, was that ever a thing?

It was wild. I don't remember it. But I'm not... I didn't live in New York at that. that time. So I don't know what was happening in New York in 2005. We're girls talking about Will Smith over rice pudding? I don't know. We don't know. But in this case, they're talking about a guy who Casey has recently met who she likes, but she's worried that he might be kind of a sleaze ball. And Sarah is like he's

definitely a sleaze. But Casey wants to go out with him anyway. And this will come back later. Then we meet Hitch's newest client, Albert Brennaman, played by Kevin James, a guy with absolutely no game. And he wants help with Allegra Cole, that celebrity heiress woman who Sarah has been writing about. And Albert's company handles her finances. So he has met Allegra briefly, but she barely knows he exists. and he knows that she's likely, quote unquote, out of his league, but Hitch is up to the challenge. To be clear, feels like Hitch is like, you know what, I'm the best. I'll take this on.

He doesn't actually explicitly state that, but there's a way in which he's like, man, because he actually uses the words like Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel, and basically say, like, this is going to be his masterpiece making this work out, which feels like an opportunity for him in that regard. But if I can just say one thing, I mean, obviously I have a weight-based podcast, W-G-E-I-G-H-T, wait for it, to see them cast a fat man in this role where it's not totally lampooning himself, like he is, he is confident in who he is as a person. What he lacks confidence in is his ability to connect with this woman specifically, which

feels more progressive than I would expect from a 2005 movie. Now, there are some fat jokes, and there are some very distinct things that he's fat, he eats a bunch of donuts, he's fat, he splits his pants, that type of thing is in there. But, like, it's not about his personhood and who he is. Like, there's never a part of it that's like, I need to lose weight so I can go talk to this woman, which I appreciated in 2025, because we don't often get that, especially not from fat men. For sure. Yeah, that's a good point.

I mean, yeah, because he trips on marbles at some point. You're like, this poor man. But it's like that is not unlike so many, especially in comedies, so many fat characters, like he's, that is not his defined in quality. And Hitch, not to his credit, but I was just like, Hitch, that is not a factor for him. It never comes up. No, it's just about like, I mean, he is a con man. He's a confidence man. He's trying to build up Albert's confidence.

And it, I don't know. Yeah, I was also like, the very broad stuff is the very broad stuff you would expect for this time. But if you, like, look at the story, you're like, they actually mutually grow through this friendship. Yeah. That never happens with men. That's really nice, like in movies. I like it. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, I think that's one of the things that makes you feel good when you get to the end, especially, you know, well, I'll say this. I know we're going to get there. There's a portion of the film, which we're going to get to. in which they connect over their both their like kind of twin like we'll say obstacle without spoiling it and I feel like that moment we rarely get of men saying what should we do or I feel bad and them having that kind of back and forth which is really it kind of ends up being the ethos of the movie but you're right we don't we don't get to see that with dudes yeah very

off not in 2005 like if we're talking about the time it certainly wasn't happening a lot in 2005 definitely not no I mean and I don't know and then it's like by the end I mean, like, Kevin James is, like, he gets the, well, it's complicated. Does he get the right girlfriend? It's the, well, we're about to get to it. Yeah. Look at us jumping ahead. There's just so much to talk about it.

Okay, sorry. Kay was like, I'm not even halfway in, guys. We're three minutes in. We just got to the inciting incident. So there's this guy named Hitch. Okay, so Hitch gets to work on helping Albert with Allegro. Cole, who we finally meet on screen, played by Amber Valletta, who goes to a meeting with her financial advisors. She's asking if she can have $500,000 to invest in her friend's clothing design

company. But the main advisor guy shuts her down. So Albert takes this opportunity to advocate for Allegra so that hopefully she'll notice and appreciate him. And it works. And she wants to meet with him one-on-one to talk about her investments. Now, this, hmm, I understand what they're trying to do with this, but it's so, I don't know, I did not care for the way it's presented, where he's like, what if I negged you at work in front of everybody? Like, there was like a, and it's even reference when she gets to the door where he thinks she's going to be upset.

And then she's like, no, I, she's like, no one's ever talking. talk to me like that and I liked it. I'm like, okay, so that's how we're writing women character in this where it's like you have to suspend your disbelief of how a person would talk. Well, because it's a mix of him negging her, but then he quickly shifts to advocating for her. So who knows exactly what she means, but the point is it works and she does notice him finally. I think it is performed and is written and comes off as negging, but the way I received it

And I feel like it's poor writing, especially when you get to the part where she's angry at him. Because I feel like if that scene had just been like, you don't have to ask us for what you want to do. If you wanted us to do something, we're going to do it. But we're here to advise you. If that had been how it was written and he still goes off on the boss and all that, then it makes sense. But like this idea, because I remember sitting there being like the whole point was Hitch said that you're supposed to be making a splash at this point. So if he advised him to do negging and what actually happened was. was this kind of like moment of advocacy.

For me, it feels like I wish they had written it differently because Alex certainly did not tell him to like speak up in the meeting, tell her to F their advice, do what she's going to do, and then quit his job. You know what I mean? So I think that part, it was murky to me in the writing. But the execution comes off exactly like you said. It sounds like negging and then advocacy.

But I'm like all we really needed, because later on the movie we see that the whole point is that he basically never listens to Wilson. Smith's advice and just only is just being himself the whole time, you know. And that's what works. Which I like. I do too. That's great messaging.

And I like that Allegra. I mean, we don't get that much, like, we don't know that much about Allegra, but I do like it. No interiority. No, but what we do get the surface stuff is I kind of liked it, where it's like you, you know, she's, whatever, we think of how blonde women with severe bobs are usually characterized in this genre. It's not as like, ooh, I'm a dork. I'm like, I feel I'm uncomfortable with myself. And I appreciate it that. Yeah. Yeah. There is some dissonance to me where it's like she's the daughter of maybe a billionaire, it seems. And I'm like, oh, we're supposed to think that she's not a sociopath

then, but. Well, I mean, knowing, knowing that this is 2005 and they even name draft Paraseldon at some point, I think that that's like sort of who we're supposed to be inserting this into. right um yeah in any case albert has made a splash then that night hitch is at a bar and he spots sarah and takes an interest having a gray goose martini which feels very 2005 code and dropping the gray goose yes indeed top shelf only the best because she makes a million dollars at her job in in newspaper writing where she does not have an office where she's in a cubicle and a newsroom floor come on they're really

the newspaper industry is dying in the office but for some reason at home it's not crushing it yeah she has rate beyond stocks or some shit it's scary she's the daughter of a billionaire yeah could be that

her family life is hilarious to me because the two things we learn about her family is that her great-grandfather was a serial killer and that her sister fell through ice once and that is all we learned about her past really and you're like Wow, it's one such a specific thing, and then the other thing is so vague. Right.

I love it. She's just, she's a complicated woman. She doesn't need a boyfriend, you guys. No. No. In any case, Hitch takes an interest in Sarah and saves her from a creep who's hitting on her at the bar. They chat for a few minutes about how he's not going to be like every other annoying guy who tries to chat her up. And then he leaves and gives her some space to, I don't know, play hard to get or, I don't know.

And then the next day, Hitch meets with another new client, Vance, played by Jeffrey Donovan. Burn Notice. Yes, that was, I was watching this movie with our friend Bryant this morning. And he was like, he came like 20 minutes and he's like, is Burr notice there yet? And then he's like, two things. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And he's like, oh, burn notice is in this one. Yeah, that guy.

Yeah, the guy who shows more popular than his name. Yeah. He should just change it. Oh, God. Being an actor seems so awful. Because what if you just end up being burn notice? Yeah, I'm sure you're a person and everything, but. He went to the same state school as my mom.

Oh, wow. Learning all about burn notice. Mr. Notice, yeah. Okay, so we realized that he's the guy who Sarah's friend Casey had been talking about earlier and this guy, Vance, is like, oh, I just want to see her again and bang her. And Hitch is like, that's not what I do, so fuck off. Yes. Then Hitch sends a courier with a walkie-talkie to Sarah's work so that he can walkie-talkie

and ask her out on a date. No, okay, a Bushemi test. Bushemi tests. Yeah. Bushemi sends a mysterious box to your work. You don't open it. No. Also, if it's a walkie-talkie,

it means that he has to be in close enough range to her office to talk to her. So he's basically outside. Yeah. He's close by. He's sent an 80s punk career. I was thrown by the courier, but I was like, I don't know. Hitch has ops everywhere.

This definitely doesn't pass the Bill Scarsguard. test, which I'm calling it now. But it certainly, there was something about it where I was like, I suspect, and I'm just asking you all, if this happened in real life, what percentage of charmed would you feel by this if you liked the guy? Okay. And that's the real thing. That's the thing.

Yeah. Let's say you liked the guy. What percentage of charm? If it's 2005 when this came out, I think I would have been way more charmed. Now I would have been like, why didn't you just ask me for my number when we were talking at the bar the night before? Yes. Be direct, you ass. I think I would be like, I would be, I'm not May of Stone.

I would still be a little charmed, but my first question would be, where are you? Are you in the house? Are you within 20 yards of me right now? Is the call coming from inside the newspaper office? Yeah, underneath my desk. That team is also so, like, classic rom-com where all of a sudden, everyone at Sarah's work is like, what? Who is it? Whoa, who's, people we've never seen before, we'll never see again.

And they're like, are you going to pick up the walkie-jockey? I really enjoyed that part. I thought it was funny. This is how I know. Like, I'm also part of the problem because, like, you're absolutely right. They all gathered. And the audience, you feel like you're gathering with them. You're like, ooh, what are you going to do?

even though like something that and I think you both just prove that this would only work in a film where it's like there's there's a level of charm versus like versus actual work that it takes to do something like this versus like should like was there a more practical way for you to just get my number like could you have just written me an email because there was email at that time and then little unbeknownst to us the amount of work he's done on this first date you don't even know the half of it he's gone on ancestry doctor calm which couldn't have been as easy in 2005 well exactly he probably like had to look through like hard copy archives or something like we because here's what happens he asks her on a date they settle on sunday morning they go to ellis island by way of jet skiing on the hudson river yeah which is a really dirty body of water yeah i would not recommend don't do that it looks pretty though i will say like new york is very pretty in this movie yeah yes um but hitch he kind of flubs a few things up including kicking her in the head on the jet ski and then tracing her family history back to a relative of hers who passed through

ellis island who turned out to be a serial killer and so the date was not this you know magical perfect date but there is something about this hitch guy and Sarah agrees to see him again. And not before telling her friend Casey over a very huge bowl of rice pudding. I was so distracted by the rice pudding. Because they show you the name of the, I don't know why this stuck out to me so much. The name of the business is from rice to riches. And then we go inside and it was like, unfortunately, rom-coms,

it is kind of a headline to be like, women ate in this movie. They let them eat. but it's just I don't know I like rice pudding but it's just I've never seen it eaten in a rom-com before their bowls were really full look visibility matters I guess for rice pudding her right and she says he really tanked but he did it with flair and then she eats a huge scoop of rice pudding which you would imagine would make her next line of dialogue really hard to hear but it's fine it's fine yeah the failing with flare part like I mean being charmed by all that it felt like maybe maybe being charmed by the amount of effort it took for him to then fail

because like because at that point it doesn't even feel like failure look at me waxing existential about this movie but like it's it doesn't even feel like failure it just feels like effort and the effort is more I guess valuable than the the what is the product of the effort which I think is what they're trying to get at in this part I agree yeah because I didn't like the fact they're like he failed with flare I'm like what is what does that even mean just say you like him. Right. Exactly. Be direct, everyone. Yeah. So meanwhile, Hitch is prepping Albert for an event that he's going to with Allegra Cole. And Albert's like, I hope there's dancing at the event because I freaking tear it up on the dance floor. And he shows Hitch some moves. And Hitch is like, do not under any circumstances ever dance

like that in front of her, you look like a freak. I feel like I remember that from the trailer. That's from the trailer. They definitely show the Kevin James dance sequels. For sure. He dances fine, and that's another thing that I want to stand for. There's a portion

in there where this skews into big guy being a buffoon, but the truth is Kevin James has rhythm, and he has no shame, which on the dance floor are too valuable. Those are the only two things you need. At a wedding, any of that stuff, is rhythm, And no shame.

If you have those, and here the thing is, if you only have no shame and you have no rhythm, you can actually still survive on a dance floor. So the idea that you're telling him to then do a, to only do a two-step because you're going to look stupid. I'm like, I don't want to be with nobody who doesn't want to be me on the dance floor with no shame. That's what makes you look stupid. Exactly. Yeah.

And also, yeah, Kevin James, much later when he gets the kiss, the 90-10 thing happens, he does a full, like, Gene Kelly thing. Yes. He's got moves. The man's got moves. He does. He's very spry. And he does not listen to Hitch.

He's like, my instincts are telling me to dance, so I'm going to dance. And he does that at the event with Allegra. And she's also dancing like a dork. Like, it's nice. It's nice. The thing is, though, that some photo, some, like, paparazzi photos are taken of them dancing. And they end up in the tabloids. And Hitch thinks that Albert has.

humiliated himself. And Sarah is upset because she didn't get to this story first. Yeah, they all find us out from the same newsstand. The one newsstand in all of New York City is where every character in this movie goes. Yes, yep. Oh, newsstands. What a relic of the past. Oh, I know. RIP. Then Hitch goes on a tirade about Albert, possibly kissing Allegra. And this is where we get the whole men should go 90% of, the way and wait for a woman to go the other 10%. And it's a 2005 movie, so we get the expected no-homo moment of the movie with the kiss and Wolfsman has to be like, that's gross.

Yucky. That's gross. Yeah, we'll talk more about that, but that happens. Meanwhile, Sarah finds out that the person who got the tickets for that event where they were dancing is Hitch, which means maybe she can use him as a source for this ongoing Allegra Cole story. So she calls Hitch to see him again, even though she had already been like, I'll see him again romantically. So we're just like, what is your deal? But anyway, Sarah takes Hitch to a food rave thing with Sarah's like editor slash boss guy and his wife.

And they're trying to get information out of Hitch, but he's playing it off like he barely knows Albert. And before they can dig any deeper, Hitch has his allergic reaction to shellfish or whatever. And so he takes a bunch of Benadryl. And he gets drunk off of that. I don't know if that's a thing, but he's drunk now. You get, you get, you get, you get high. You do, okay.

Well, he played it drunk. He did. Yeah, he played it drunk, but it was like, it's more like loopy or like, and, You'd be way more dozy, which comes on later, obviously. But like in this point, like, I think it was for them, if you're going to be in the New York streets, that's what you want to be doing is like being like a little bit tipsy with your partner and like kind of like singing a hit song from the 70 slash 80s. Right. Okay. So then Sarah takes hitch back to her three million dollar condo and tucks him in. They chat about their past traumas.

Because this is the point in the movie where, for some reason, you have to learn about Eva Mendes' sister fell through some ice and she's still not over it. And you're like, what does that have to do with anything? But sure. Really bizarre. I guess we're always asking to find out more about women in movies. I guess irrelevant information counts. I think they were trying to, like, build, it was a very weak attempt at character development because you're trying to give her some interiority by saying, well, this is why she is the way she is the way she is. she is but the characteristic that they're strengthening is more of like like a like maybe a

stonewalling or a separation or an aloofness rather than the dogged journalism that we would expect to see from her which I would expect to have that part fleshed out more and not necessarily why you feel protective of your sister which doesn't actually connect who I guess we do end up meeting at the end for some reason but but I I completely forgot she fell through ice when I see her. Yeah, it doesn't come up. I know something about you, but I forgot. Don't worry.

You really, you've been through it. Does Tom know? Who's Tom? I know you didn't meet Tom in D.C. I do agree. It's like this is her like, you know, letting her guards down, letting him know something randomly traumatic about her life.

Yeah. Which is kind of a fun phase of dating. Sure. And, yeah, they're, they're, they're talking about why they're jaded when it comes to relationships and sarah's reason is because her sister fell through some ice 20 years ago sure not connected don't see the connection really she's like and i'm still not over it and that's why i don't date seriously like start again your sister fell through ice start again say it again yeah it's hard to connect the dots but

anyway, they wake up the next day, they have a nice morning together, they kiss on the lips, and then they part ways. Then Sarah sees her friend Casey, who mentions that she went out with and slept with that sleazy guy burn notice, after all. Good job, Caitlin. Thank you. a.k.a. Vance. And Vance mentions the date doctor to Casey before leaving because Hitch is known around town as this date doctor guy. Again, he's famous just like Spider-Man is. And Sarah hears this and she's like, hmm, date doctor, what's going on there? So she approaches Vance to be like, hey, who's that dating coach you hired? Because I want to write a column about him. however she does not connect the dots she doesn't realize it's Hitch because she does not know what Hitch

actually does she only knows that Hitch is a consultant like a very vague consultant guy and she knows one of his allergies right so she gets the date doctor's card from Vance that night Allegra and Albert go to a basketball game together and he's like is this a date? And she's like, Tee, maybe. And Sarah is there with her colleague taking photos and stuff. And at the end of the night, when Albert is dropping Allegra off, it's time to put Hitch's 90-10% kissing roll of thumb to the test. And he almost chickens out, but then he goes for it. And then Albert and Allegra kiss on the lips. everyone's kissing now

and the next day Hitch meets up with yet another new client but wait it's Sarah's colleague she staged this so she could find out who the date doctor is and what his

deal is and then she discovers that it's Hitch oh no and she's like that's my boyfriend or whatever but she wants to move forward with the story she's writing about him, but now she

hates Hitch as a romantic partner. And so she does something that I feel like happens a lot in roundcoms, and I know what it's trying to accomplish spiritually, but I always find it so bizarre where it's just like, oh, you hurt me, so I'm just going to show up and

get really drunk and be weird and go, woo, and then leave. You're like, except this changes the narrative because he throws a bowl of lettuce at her. Well, I also want to point out, and that is true, I also want to point out that I don't like films or, and this is my biggest problem with Cobra Kai, the show, I don't like anything that could be resolved with a conversation.

I don't like that being a major plot point. When it's basically, if you ask one question, this would be resolved. And instead, there's only assumptions made because that feels like weak writing to me. It feels like you're basically not, you need to give me a reason why they can. can't have the conversation that would resolve this. But if you show up at his house on the date, just ask the question. You can ask right there. Be direct.

And that's another reason why this movie is too long, because that should have probably just been combined into the next scene when you actually asked the question. When they have the confrontation. Yes. Right. Why are those two separate scenes? Yes. I totally agree.

I don't ever like that as a writing choice. It always feels so contrived to me. And I, like, sure, people. do make assumptions and get mad at people and that's that's kind of reflective of real life but never in the way that it's depicted in rom-coms but there's like a ways to do that that are like more i don't know like whatever like every shakespeare comedy is like the information gets back to hitch from someone else in a weird way or a new per like maybe maybe cressida comes back like you know add someone or something into it if if that scene if we need this to be two scenes instead

one for some reason. Yeah, she can't just go to his house and say nothing. I know. It's so frustrating. Especially if she's drunk. Of course you would say it. Yeah. You know, when I do buy it is in Shrek 1, when Shrek overhears Fiona being like, how could anyone ever love such a hideous beast? And she's talking about herself. But he thinks she's talking about him. So he's sad. But then the confrontation happens in the next scene. Yeah. Like the next time they see each other, he's like, Well, I guess you don't fuck with Shrecks, I guess. And then that's also the point in the Broadway musical where he sings the best song in the musical.

Whoa. It's called Build a Wall. Okay. An emotional wall. I was going to say, build that wall is not a popular song. Yeah, I was like, it was written in 2008. It was written in 2008. That was a different time to say build a wall.

I'd tell you that. Yes. Okay, so yeah, she, she, so Sarah goes to Hitch's place and refuses to, be direct and to actually have a conversation with him, she does just say, like, I know all about your skeezy job, buy bitch, and then she storms out. And she publishes a story about him, painting him as a guy who teaches men how to be pickup artists with a headline that's something like Hitch can get you into bed with the likes of Allegra Cole with a picture of Albert and Allegra, which humiliates both of them as well as Hitch, so he goes to a speed dating event that

Sarah is at with her friend Casey and tries to explain himself. And Sarah's like, I don't want to talk to you. I want to protect women from guys like you. And they argue. And Casey then finds out that Hitch is the date doctor guy who she thinks told Burn Notice to, and pardon my explain. hit it and quit it with her i do not part in your expression i will not i do i will highlight your expression i'm only quoting hitch earlier in the movie or whatever whoever says that line understood but um anyway hitch is like wrong vance is a pig and i refuse to work with him get your facts right and then he storms on can i can i just point out my biggest problem with the movie is right here

because there's a whole seat in there in which she talks to her editor of a newspaper she talks to her editor of a newspaper who gives her permission to run the story even though he's like I don't think you should because it'll blow up your life and your relationship

but what he does not do is do what an editor is supposed to do which is get her to fact check this story and talk to all of your sources and if she would have done that and had the conversation she would have had the information already which I know doesn't work

in the movie world but that's another thing that gets me about lazy writing which is to say this woman is a good reporter and you're telling me she didn't just ask him hey this for the story even as a reporter that's all you had to do and so when he shouts that information

at her I feel like the look on her face is like kind of presented as I feel dumb in this moment but I also wanted to be like you should also feel like a bad reporter who's not going to get her job and your editor should be fired because that would have been basic reporting at that point to say,

oh, you got to go ask so-and-so about the question. Yeah, I mean, it's like the only excuse I could think of is like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know what the standards are for tabloid reporting. But it's like, it seems like this is what she does. This is what she would normally do. She's not doing it now.

So it makes her look kind of like weird and incompetent in a way that's confusing. And also, I mean, this is addressed later, but it's weird because it's true. That was a really nasty piece of reporting she did. It's very disingenuous when she's like, I'm doing this to protect women. I'm like, weird because you seem to actively be humiliating one. So it's like, well, no, you're, like, I know you don't want your friend to get fucked over,

but you don't really seem to have a vested interest in protecting other women outside of the scope of you and your friend. But then Hitch presenting, he's like, no, I do noble. My job is noble. He's talking like he's like a nurse. I'm like, well, this is a bit of an overstatement of like, I work for good and I'm a good guy and I've never given bad advice. And that is not really pushed back again for the rest of the movie. And you're like, well, you're not a bad guy, but you give a lot of bad advice. Like, this is a, it's weird how, I mean, you know, I'm happy when people are proud of what they do.

But like, he shouldn't be that proud. He's like, I didn't work with one pervert. How could you say that about me? I was like, you work with a lot of scumbags. I don't know. You're right. I think though the anger, like I feel like the character's anger came from a good place. However, the film thinks that Hitch is a good guy in the way that we've come to understand

like the good guy meaning doesn't necessarily mean that you're not dangerous or you're not contributing to the negative aspects of patriarchy in a very specific way. Without that awareness, everything you say is absolutely. right. It's like, yeah, you're, you think that what you're doing is noble, but it is a little borderline. Unless, if you're talking to people just try to boost their confidence, but you're not even having the nuance to understand the difference between like building up a man's confidence to feel good talking to a woman versus teaching men tricks on how to get women to interact with them so that you can trap them in a relationship, which.

Because it's like, if you go back to the beginning of the movie, he's literally kind of like playing God where he like steals a dog and then gives it to a man. Oh, we'll talk about that. You're like, you can't be that proud of that job. I know it makes you a lot of money, obviously, but like you can't pretend that that is like this is the most noble profession. He's, yeah, he's acting like he's a teacher. And it's like, pitch, look, you're good at what you do, but chill.

You're not essential personnel. Sorry, that's my last one. No, no, I mean, we're looking at many such cases. my own relationship. I'm like, these are non-essential jobs. And that's okay, but let's acknowledge that. And I'm like, what is his rate if like a guy goes to hire him? He's like, a hundred thousand dollars, please. Like, it has to be so much for him to afford. Especially if he calls it at three dates. I know. Like, it's not like he has these guys on retainer. Like, yeah, it's a very short-term thing. Anyway, um, Hitch is, is, is

at Sarah's bad journalism. And so now everyone is sad and alone. Hitch and Sarah and Allegra and Albert. They're all experiencing the end of act to low point of the movie. And then Sarah goes to Hitch to apologize for having the wrong idea about him and hurting him. But he's like, you didn't hurt me because I don't have feelings. to even hurt actually.

Bye. And then he jogs away, which just feels kind of weirdly impotent after that. Someone jogging away from a confrontation is just like, all right, man. Yeah, you're doing great. Right. And then Albert shows up to Hitch's place to be like,

I'm so sad. Can you please fix this situation with Allegra? Because he's still hopelessly in love with her. But then he realizes that, Hitch doesn't really even believe in the things that he's telling men as far as like putting yourself out there to try to find true love because Hitch is so guarded and he has so many walls up. He's a, he's a modern-day Shrek, basically. It's true. He's going to build a wall.

He has built a wall. It doesn't sound, it doesn't sound good. Yeah, which is a horrible expression. He does say something that I really like in this scene. Kevin James, Albert Briniman says something I really like. which is he says if this is the only way that I could stay connected with her well then this is who I have to be talking about feeling miserable that he's not with her and I felt like that was a for me a very romantic like phrase I remember I dated a woman once and we broke up we were together for a while we broke up and she left she went to she left the country like to go to Canada for a month and while she was gone I would write her letters that I didn't send I gave them to her later but at the time I wrote her letters and I realized that writing the letters because I was like, we weren't in communication, any of that made me feel closer to her. And I feel like that feeling of, I felt very, like, closely connected to that feeling of like, man, this feeling of despair kind of becomes a comfort when it still feels like it attaches you to a person.

Now, there's ways in which it's unhealthy and not good, but I don't feel like he was in an unhealthy place when he said that, which I really appreciated a movie like this, having just like a little gym like that. Yeah. And it's like you get in that conversation, because obviously Hitch is reacting with like denial and anger and all of this stuff. But in the outward character, he's like, I'm sad and I'm feeling it too. Which is again, it's like not something you see very often from from a man in a rom-com. It's like, I think you most you mostly get the hitch reaction. Right. Which is like, again, reflective of a lot of men who have been.

conditioned to close themselves off and not process their emotions. But I do like that contrast between the Albert character who is very freely feeling his feelings and feeling his sadness and expressing them versus Hitch, who is either unwilling or unable to do that. But then he realizes, I think, through interacting with Albert, like, maybe I should try to feel my emotions. And then he learns from Albert. And that. That's also an encouraging thing to see in a rom-com from 2005. Agreed. But anyway, so Hitch is sad, but he's pretending not to be.

Then Albert goes after Allegra himself to try to win her back because he's like, I don't really trust Hitch to do this. But Hitch beats him to it and shows up on Allegra's yacht. And he's... Daughter of a billionaire, Jamie. Yes. nasty now Allegra is unhappy because she thinks Hitch encouraged Albert to manipulate her and do these specific things to put her at ease such as dance like a buffoon knowing that she can't dance and Hitch is like no I had no hand in that that was all Albert wait a minute did that work on you do I not even understand my own job that I invented I think I think this is an effective scene, but Eleanor does talk to Hitch as if he is a wizard.

Like, as to sit, he can read her thoughts. I was like, man, how could he? I mean, to be fair, he can figure out who your serial killer great-grandfather is, but that appears to be the limits of his powers. Sure. Basic Google searches appear to be the limits of his power. She's referencing something that happened to her once when she was 12. I'm like, how would Hitch have access this information?

Correct. Yeah. And then Albert shows up and he and Allegra kiss and makeup. Then Hitch goes to Sarah to try to win her back and he's pretty terrible at it. And then we get this reveal that she's there with another man and she walks away and gets in the car in a scene that mirrors the time that he got his heartbroken in college by Cressida. Only this time Hitch does go after the woman he. He loves. Still very aggressively. Yeah. For sure. In a way that I could not endorse Bill Scarsgaard doing. No.

Nor any man. Throwing himself on the hood of your car. Speed up. I don't know. You've got to back up to go over him again, too. Yes, yes, yes. But anyway, Hitch professes his love for Sarah, and they also kiss and make up. And it turns out the other man is Sarah's sister.

husband. And why does she not just say that? I don't know. Again, be direct. Come on, Tom. I'm always acting that way with my brother-in-law. Come on, Tom. Yeah, stop it. Really weird. But this is like when Hitch finally learns that there are no rules or basic principles to dating. And the movie ends at Albert and Allegra's wedding. The cast dances to now that we found love by Heavy D and the boys. But I think it should be a Will Smith end credits rap that they dance to. I thought about this because it's weird that it doesn't happen. And this is around the time where it doesn't happen anymore. Yeah. Like he's, I think the last one I was able to find is men in black two. I mean, obviously

he does the shitty Aladdin movie, but I'm going to not count that. But he did do a song for men and black two. Black suits come and nod your head in 2002. I remember that was the worst song. It is very... They tried to make Fetch happen. It did not. The first one was fine. I could still

sing the first one right now, but it's probably because it's attached to another song. But this new one, no. No, stop it. But what's weird is there was a Will Smith single that came out the same week Hitch game. out switch the song where he goes you know that one

I don't know this one at all oh well I've just performed it so well I don't know how to be true now that stuck in my head why would you do this to me that was like I was in middle school and this movie came out and they were playing Will Smith's switch at the middle

school and dances but I looked it up just to be like why isn't Switch in that I feel like it was the same time Hitch came out on February 11th Switch came out February 15th, and yet it is not in the movie. It's really bizarre. I wonder why.

And it's they rhyme, switch, hitch. They probably heard it and said, we're not putting this in the movie. They're like, oh, we have a big budget. We don't have to use Switch. It's okay. We'll license something. Don't even worry about it. It's not his best.

Good luck with the Billboard chats. It's not his best, but I do. I mean, whenever I hear Switch, I can't hear it neutrally because I'm just consumed with, like, 12-year old anxiety being like, I'm not going to dance with anyone. That's what the song ignites in me. But anyways, yeah, it's weird that there's not a Will Smith Closer song because he had one ready. But it seems like maybe they just, yeah, didn't want it. Yeah. Well, let's take another quick break and we'll come back to discuss. Hi there. This is Josh Clark from the Stuff You Should Know podcast. If you've been thinking,

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Ronald, is there anything that jumps out to you? Where would you like to start? Well, I think generally there's. there's a pushback in this movie. There's a way that this movie is, the ways that it feels progressive is that in some ways it feels like it's grappling with that idea that I said before about vacillating between

a pickup artist's manual versus a guide to just talking to a human woman. It's at its worst, again, when it's a pickup movie, when it's just like, this is how you pick up a woman. But then when it gets to the heart of it And Kevin James and Will Smith, Albert Brennaman and Alex Hitchens have that conversation where he's essentially saying to him, you don't even believe in love, you don't believe in these parts of it.

And you realize that Albert Brennaman has just been being himself the whole film, despite what he's being told to do. Would you boil it down to those basic elements? I think that's what works for me in the film is to say that you met someone, y'all connected, and it worked out because you were being yourself. and she was being herself and it was a good relationship but I just feel like the movie wants

to push and pull at that in this way that the Hollywood effect makes the message worse and it pushes it into a different category and also a man wrote this and a man directed this like two different men so through that lens

I wonder if they were really aware of that grappling if no women were involved in the production you know what I mean right exactly yeah it's it's interesting because it feels like yeah this movie is like we've been talking about this whole time doing more than you would expect it to I feel like it is like I don't know like it is encouraging men to just be themselves basically and which which is a generally good message and then like I don't hate the message it's just all of the like it feels very

studio notesy, the things I don't like about this movie. Where it feels like very tacked on. Like, oh, we have this actor so we should do this to them. Or, you know, all of these rom-com stock actors with like the queer-coded co-worker, some of the fat-phobic things that Kevin

James is subjected to. Even though if you look at the story it's flawed, but it feels like it's hard as more in the right place that a lot of rom-coms which is weird. I didn't expect it. Same. Even in that first opening montage with voiceover where Hitch is going through the quote unquote basic principles of how to win a woman kind of thing, within that it's oscillating back and forth between vague pickup artistry advice, but also like treat a woman like a person and actually talk to her and then listen to her and then respond to her like she's a person.

You know, so, like, the first few clips we see are the, like, weird, like, manipulate a woman into thinking, like, stage her dog getting run over by a cab and pretend like you saved her dog so that she'll fall in love with you. Like, that's obviously, like, really manipulative, gross, icky things. And then he's saying things like, if a woman rejects you and says that she's focusing on her career, she's lying. and women don't even know what they want until a man comes along and tells her and so like it's stuff like that but then a few moments later he says like

don't use what you don't have if you're shy be shy if you're outgoing be outgoing in other words like don't fake it and try to be someone you're not be yourself I'm so curious like what the drafts of this looked like because I'm wondering how

because this is the game the book by Neil Strauss because unfortunately, I've done a lot of research on Manat's Fear, shit, Pua stuff, and listened to, for episodes of 16th minute I did last year, listened to a lot of accounts of men who were in, like tried to use the game because they were nervous around women and then grew up basically and realized that it's a joke, which there are a lot of people like that, thankfully. And then there are the people who had spent the last 20 years doubling and tripling down

and becoming history's greatest monsters. Correct. But there are people, it is interesting to listen to people who were drawn to this intentionally because it's made, I mean, like it's kind of what Hitch is doing, but also kind of not what he's doing, which is why it's confusing. But like basically targeting insecure men and promising that there is a recipe for success. If you just do la, la, la, la, you will be successful. And what the game does and what Hitch does sometimes not always, which is what they say. this movie so hard to talk about is like not only is it lifting the raising the confidence of men it's raising the confidence of men at the expense of women and that's the real issue it's not that men having you know being self-possessed and having confidence is a bad thing it's not it's that a lot of these subcultures were like oh it's because you are genetically superior and women are animals who don't understand themselves and so you can't trust a word they say here's 45 steps, including wearing the ugliest fucking hat you've ever seen that is going to fix this.

And I'm wondering how aware the distribution and marketing was aware of that being a popular thing at this time and not wanting to completely lean away from it. I don't know. I believe that if this movie wore a person, that this would be a person that we would be fine with in 2025, meaning that they would learn and grow because there's enough I'm thinking about all the things that I knew in a binary when I was 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, whatever, in my late teens, early 20s, all the things that I knew in a binary, like, well, that's not right. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's not right. That's how I kind of did everything. But the nuance wasn't there yet. And I feel like this film knows, like there's parts of this where you say fact. And it's like, women don't know what they want. And I'm like, ah, I don't know about that.

Like that's like if you said some people don't know what they want and maybe our job as people is to like to continue to introduce them to new experiences and allow them to become the person that they are going to be. But that's not what I just said is like is very nuanced and not something that you could just throw into a film, you know? So I feel like that's where you're right that like at worst when you think about like the pickup artist stuff that's in there, it doesn't feel as nearly married to that as it does when it gets to the full point of the movie at the end, which is that. like, hey, there are no rules, you know, love people, be yourself, which is, feels good, like a solid message, which is basically the only reason why we could watch this at 2025 and not just throw this movie out with the trash, you know? I mean, the three of us, like, we could have just thrown this movie away, and we didn't, you know? Because it lands somewhere that is like, okay, cool, you know?

And I do like that both, so again, there's stuff going on here, but, like, I do. do like that both of the characters, Hitch and Sarah, are, like, are both flawed, genuinely flawed, because I feel like there's, it's so often in rom-coms where, like, it is a woman who is inexplicably perfect, but sometimes trips and falls, who ends up with a man who's more mean than flawed. However, there's a lot of baggage that comes with that because, yes, Sarah is flawed in, like, she's, her job is pretty, They both have pretty scummy jogs. Yeah. So maybe they really found each other where they're like the ethics are all over the place. Will Smith throwing himself on the hood of a car as a grand romantic gesture. I don't think so.

A lot of the early courting is a little stocky. And then you have, I think, one of the things that really sticks out in a way that's like, I don't know, I'm almost able to like laugh it off now. but the 2005 casual sex is not a thing for women and if any woman is like I'm not interested in a serious relationship it's like well because you haven't been dick down with the right dick yet

which is sort of hitches whole business is that being true but also the world of this movie that is true yeah this movie is very like heteronormative monogamy normative serious relationship is the only way to go anything else it's shallow and yucky

and so those are very obviously like 2005 sentiments there's another thing that rubs me wrong that rubs me the wrong way about the sort of ideology that this movie is operating within which is a line that hitch says at the end when they're at the like speed dating thing and he says something like, no, my job isn't to encourage men to just like fuck a woman and leave. It's to When you perform this movie, Caitlin,

I only want to watch your performance of it. I don't even want to watch the movie anymore. I want to watch you perform the movie. Look, I'll do a solo show reenactment thing. Shadowcast. But, yeah, Hitch is like, my job is to get

women to get out of their own head and out of their own way. so that they'll give great guys like Albert a fighting chance. And basically what he's implying is women are shallow. And again, they don't know what they want. And so it's my job to help these men get women to see that they're being superficial and they just need to give men a chance. Like, forget about their compatibility, forget about women's autonomy over who they are

and are not sexually interested in. That doesn't matter. What matters is that Hitch is there to help his clients teach these women a lesson in how to not be so shallow. And even though Hitch unlearns stuff by the end and he realizes, oh, a lot of what I was saying was kind of bullshit and I was wrong to give a lot of the advice that I gave. But I feel like the movie lands on the side of this particular point because we have Albert Brennaman ended. up with this, you know, gorgeous bombshell woman. Right. And like, you're going to tell me he's not remotely shallow. Everyone is shallow in this movie. Like there's, yeah, it does feel like the, the onus. And Hitch kind of says that directly

to Allegra where he challenges her on that of like, oh, well, if I didn't have him yell at you at work, would you have ever noticed him? And then she's like, yes, eventually. Well, I guess not. And it's just like everyone's shallow. I don't know. Like it just feels like he's quicker to turn things on the woman in terms of, yeah, like not knowing what she wants. And if she does know what she wants, she's being shallow. And there are shallow women. There's shallow people everywhere.

Of all genders. Yeah. Very prescriptive. It's also unnecessary. Like when you say that, like the implication that I need to create an event for y'all to talk is. It's like, yeah, maybe she, maybe she never notices Albert. But, I mean, the only crime of that is that we don't get to see Hitch, the movie. Like, and I'm saying that, like, as a meta problem, that's not, what is the actual problem of her not meeting Albert Brennaman?

Like, I'm sure if there's another Albert Brittaman out there, she would, given the same series of circumstances, she would meet them. But he's making it like, this is a good man. And I'm going to force to show you why it's a good man, which is largely a lot of the cultural commentary that we have now. in which people are like trying to force each other to see well this is a good man or this is a good woman or this is a good partner in a very prescriptive and saying this is what you should be liking when I mean the truth is we know like the heart wants what it wants and the tech boxes that you have in your life rarely match the person that you you end up falling in love with or want to be long term partnered with or whatever and I feel like again that grappling is not not entirely there in this film, which makes it say. And I think something that makes it probably would have even been better would have been some sort of failure where Hitch could say, sorry, guess she just didn't like you.

If that would have happened in the film, then at least we know like, hey, we did the thing, we did your bag of tricks, we gave you the confidence, and she still didn't like you. If that had been in the movie, then I would be like, oh, this is with intention. They're actually grappling with this thing. Because at least they're giving the women agency to say,

like, yeah, great, you found my dog. I never want to talk to you again. You know what I mean? As opposed to like, I'm falling at a level. Yeah. And then also, I mean, specifically with the Albert Brennaman situation, what does he like about Allegra?

We never find out, aside from us being able to assume that she's beautiful and he's attracted to her. But beyond that. Yeah, it's almost like he's being shallow. Yeah. Right. Is that what it is?

Which is fine. just admit like so there are these problems but but i do think that the the movie's heart is in the right place in a way that for example what women want no that movie's heart is in the exact wrong place so yeah because hitch genuinely grows as a character which you cannot say for most men in rom-coms definitely or most characters in rock comps honestly there's one thing i i was not aware was a part of the conversation around this movie but as a conversation we have had about will Smith movies on this show before. I think I know where you're going with this.

Yes, is there is a casting conversation around this movie. Yes. I know this now, too. Yeah. So I was not aware, and thankfully scholarly journal, Wikipedia brought me up to speed. And there's a lot of information about this. But basically, Will Smith said that Eva Mendez was cast or offered this lead role because the producers of the movie were worried about the public's reaction if the part of Sarah was played by a white actress, which is, of course, preying on all of these anxieties around on one side, an interracial relationship between a black actor and a white actress specifically, which we could get, we've obviously talked about many times on the show, and hopefully you live in the world and you're aware of how frequently black men are stereotypical.

stereotyped as being predatory towards white women specifically. But they also didn't want to cast a black actor in this movie because then it would be perceived as a black film, sorry, didn't mean to come to all. And then it is the feeling of Hollywood to this day, for the most part, that they can't promote the movie in the way that they want. They can't promote it to a general audience, which is their way of saying a white audience. And so the way that they split the difference here, and there's a quote from Will Smith. I'm not stating this as fact, but by casting a Latina actress in this role, that is their way of getting around it being either an interracial relationship between a black actor and a white actress, but it's also not, quote, unquote, a black movie. And that way it's okay for general audiences.

Of course, none of this is Eva Mendez's problem. No. But I did want to share Will Smith. I'm not sure exactly when he gave this interview. you. But he said, of this casting choice, he said, there's a sort of accepted myth that if you have two black actors, a male and a female, in the lead of a romantic comedy, that people around the world don't want to see it. We spend 50-something million making this movie, so the idea of a black actor and a white actress comes up, that'll work around the world, but it's a problem in the U.S. There has been a lot written about this. I've looked up some other examples where clearly this is, like well-trodden ground, but in the years sort of leading up to Hitch, and these are examples I wasn't aware of because I was not alive, bravely. But in 1989, there was an interracial relationship between a black man and a white woman on all my children, and it got an actor

fired because his character became so unpopular, allegedly. There was an example on a different world where this also happened, where there was like boycotts of the show. And so, So this is, I mean, obviously the history of interracial relationships outside of Hollywood has been so horrifically policed and continues to be in Hollywood. But where we talked about it before was in Bad Boys One. And Men in Black. And Men in Black. Because both of those movies have a white woman cast as what would be the love interest to the Will Smith character in probably any other movie. because it's a black male protagonist as, like, the lead of the movie and a white woman, there are no on-screen kisses or any sort of...

It's not. It doesn't actually... Yeah. And this movie is very much a part of that same conversation. Yeah, it's a... I mean, it's problematic in many ways. And this is, like, obviously a relic of those times. But there's also a way in which we, especially when it comes to interracial relationships between black people and white people specifically, because this is still an interracial relationship. Like, if we talk about what's going on in Hitch, but, like, specifically with white people and black people specific, like, there's a conversation that happens, especially amongst the black community, about what this means,

especially for black men and white women, but also what's happening right now with Love Island and Nicolandria, which is a black woman and a white man, another conversation is also being formed within the black community. But when it comes to the screen, when it comes to Hollywood, There's a way in which the anticipation of what is going to be well received or not is really a reflection of our actual behavior because I do believe that if they cast a black woman in this role, all of a sudden, the soundtrack is different to this film, the way that their marketing is entirely differently is different. And there's people that will look at this and say, oh, I don't know if that's for me.

but if we actually went down into the checklist, like even something like Hancock in which Will Smith is theoretically partnered with Charlize Theron and they broke up. They're no longer in a relationship in the film so we don't get any steamy hot seeds between Charlize Theron

and Will Smith, you know what I mean? But if you start going down a checklist of all these Will Smith, who is a light-skinned black man, the colorism goes in there too. If you start to think about that and think about who they pair him with, then it really starts to glare to be like, man, so is this is this on us the viewing audience or is this on

Hollywood who's saying based on your be but I feel like Hollywood say with based on your behavior we don't think you're going to watch this movie right which we'd have to do more examples of of that being the case but it's frustrating to say like you put another black person in this now it's a black film and we can't we can't watch it anymore the last thing I'll say is the studio covers this very well the studio on Apple TV Plus with Seth Rogen oh okay it covers this very well

well when it talks about there's an episode about them making a Kool-Aid movie and they talk about race casting specifically there, which I encourage everyone to go watch because they talk about the very nuanced way, this idea of too many black folks makes it a black film. Now can we market it, which yes, you can is the real answer. But I think it's something that it's a conversation worth continuing, I would say. Absolutely. Yes. Before I knew about this very deliberate casting choice. I was just watching the movie. I was like, wow, unlike a lot of rom-coms and specifically rom-coms set in New York City. This movie does not center whiteness. There is this interracial, multi-ethnic relationship happening. But I did. I was like, I bet that was a very deliberate choice.

Did the reading about it, found out my suspicions were very much confirmed. And, I just had anticipated that they were very deliberately making these casting choices to make it, quote-unquote, palatable to a white audience. And that worked because the movie is, what, the third highest grossing rom-com of all time? It grossed $371 million at the box office. You know, this was a very deliberate marketing slash investment choice. Well, and the thing I find where the industry, says these things as if this is going to be true. And we've seen so many times that the way that marketing campaigns for Hollywood movies are designed are not necessarily based around reality.

They're based around the prejudices of the people who dictate what happens in the marketing campaign. And so, well, it's like, I feel like there is some gray area here of like if there were a black actress playing Sarah and they just committed to. marketing it the same amount as they would if Eva Mendez is in that role, it's very possible the movie would still do very well. And like that doesn't preclude racist audience members who are going to pigeonhole this movie as a quote unquote black movie. But I also feel like that that kind of stuff is sometimes used by marketing people to say, well, we had to. And it's and it's and it's the audience's fault. And it's like, well, there's a lot more going on than it's not. The audience is definitely a part, a huge part of it, but you can't say that the audience is forcing your hand.

The audience doesn't know until you market it to them. I would strongly encourage both of y'all and the listening audience to check out. There's an episode of The Town where in which they talk about centers specifically. And I'm forgetting the guest's name who was on there, but fought tooth and nail to specifically say what happens when you market films that are black and what that looks like in terms of worldwide gross versus domestic gross, which like it's a conversation that is still being had even right now because as most of us know, when sinners came out, Variety puts out this piece in which it's like sinners had a great opening weekend, but profitability is still very far away in which everyone's like, why are you talking about the movie in this

way? Like you're basically like hamstringing it for some reason instead of talking about the path that it could go. And of course, Senors goes on to break records and do very, well to make a lot of money at the box office, especially for a rated R movie. But you're right. Like the marketing, when you talk about actually spending the money, you do see that there are returns that come, even if it's considered to be a black film or even a woman film or a queer film, you still have to spend the money to get people to see it. And I think there's this like, there's this shirking of duties that happens amongst Hollywood

studios because of that assumption. Well, we're not going to spend the money because they're not going to come. I'm like, well, if you spend the money, they're definitely not going to come. If you don't spend the money, no one's going to come. Exactly. And then you're just going to blame it on the audience again. Exactly. I feel like we're at a big period of that in streaming as well where there's a lot of like talk around like, well, we diversified our streaming product, but now no one's watching it.

It's like, because you don't promote it. Yeah. Dumbasses. I'm excited to listen to that episode, though, of the town on Sinners because we'll be covering that movie pretty soon. Oh, worst listening to do. Definitely put this in your research. Cool, for sure. What else we got?

What else we got? Hitch, Grandma. We've got the rampant heteronormativity of this movie. I sure do. There are a few queer characters, and I believe all of them are identifiably queer and not just queer coded based on usually one tiny line of dialogue, where you have Jeff, who is Sarah's colleague, played by Nathan Graham, who I recognize from Zoolander, of course. There's a part where he's meeting with Hitch, pretending to hire him. And then Sarah's other colleague is like, wow, Jeff's actually managing to play it straight. And so, oh, I missed that. There's that thing that I guess identifies him

as a gay man. And see, but it's always in the blink and you miss it. Exactly. For sure. And then there's Raoul, the doorman of Hitch's building. played by Malik Pancholi, aka Jonathan from 30 Rock. Yes, oh my gosh. And they're making him do an accent. And play a character whose ethnicity is not his at all. Yeah. Because he is Indian American, and the character he's playing, I think, is suggested to be Latinx.

Yeah. I feel like there was just like one of those classic Hollywood casting, you know, racist. Brown people, they're all the same, right? No one will notice the difference. In any case, the character of Raul says that he needs to bring his partner, Amir, somewhere amazing. And then there is Maggie, aka Magnus, Allegra's best friend, who I think this one is a bit more coded than explicit. Yeah, he asks if Kevin James is gay, which is honestly, maybe I was like, oh, I guess this character's supposed to be gay. I didn't.

That's what I interpreted to you. No, I think you're right. I just was, it was a, it was a messy one. Yeah. They're all messy ones. They're all, for sure. They're all messy. The movie does not care about their romantic lives at all.

It only cares about the large number of straight people's romantic lives. Hitch does not work with queer people, it seems. It's only straight men who want to date women. All three of these queer characters are only in the movie, basically, to help the straight people or to be overly concerned. concerned about the romantic lives of their straight friends. So it's, you know, the classic 2000s era queer representation you see in a rom-com. I mean, yeah, it's like barely representation. For sure.

And then you have the rampant homophobia of Hitch's character when he freaks out when Albert kisses him, which we've touched on a little bit. But again, it's just like the classic no homo. oh my god a man kissed me i have to spit and like dry heave and and all that kind of thing because it's so gross that he touched my lips for a half a second yeah but also like maybe albert shouldn't have surprise kissed him maybe this whole 90% 10% ratio is bad and that's why i've been obsessed with it for 20 years there is a problem here yeah yeah i think what it's just learned is that it's too close, it's too close, but he will not, he's not at a point in his life

where he's ready to reevaluate the system. I do agree with you that, Reynolds. I do think that he will grow as a person. He will, as a fictional man, will grow. I would imagine Hitch 2 tackles all of this. Every complaint we have, like there's going to be a main, like the main consultant person would be queer. And there would be hitch learning along the way, and he'd probably have, like, a woman partner that's helping him. Maybe Eva Mendez is helping him with his business.

Like, there's going to be, they're definitely doing a lot more in the sequel, I would say, to demonstrate that. We've taken a progressive step forward. You know what I mean? More of a queer eye energy. Yeah. I was just thinking that. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. Which is classic television. Classic television. I'm afraid to revisit the old series because I watched it with my mom. I'm like, I'm sure there's problems, but I loved it so much. Yeah, and I also, I'm like, who knows if we get hitched to, I don't know what Eva Mendez's character is going to do. What would the collapse of journalism? I think she probably lost her apartment, unfortunately.

Oh, she has a podcast. That's, oh, she does. Yeah, what are you talking about? All journalists have podcasts now. Yeah. It's sex in the city, too. Yeah. Yeah.

It's true. Yeah. As far as the Bechtel Tass goes, no, question mark. Yeah. I don't think so. say no i feel like hitch looms large over every conversation in this movie yeah or or albert i guess is the case baby yeah i i mean there are scenes where sarah and her friend casey talk but it's almost always about like heterosexual dating so no and then allegra i don't think talks to any women

if so it's never a meaningful conversation so i think this is a no to the bectal test yeah they They did give Sarah a friend, which, again, is more than you sometimes get. But let's talk about the most important metric to ever exist. The Bechtel-cast nipple scale in which we rate zero to five nipples based on examining the movie through an intersectional feminist lens. I will give this maybe a two, two and a half. It feels like a split down the middle for me where, again, it's leaning into some pretty, formulaic rom-com tropes of the time

lots of a woman who's so focused on her career that she doesn't have time for a boyfriend everything we've talked about I'll give a two and a half nipples I'll give them I'll give one to

Eva Mendez I will give one to Andy Tenet Yeah friend of the show apparently I don't know how he is as a person or what his politics are but he's a frequent director on the show. So good for him.

He's directed some iconic movies. And then I'll give my half nipple to the impending draft of hitch to which I propose that we all write together. I'm in. Incredible. Count me in. An extremely hitched movie. Yes. I'll also go two and a half, which I'm so surprised to hear myself saying.

I, yeah, I was pleasantly. surprised by this movie and it is very much plagued with all of the products of its time gags you would expect in a movie like this. It's a weird one where I do believe its heart is in the right place, but it's still dressed up like every other movie like it of its time whose heart isn't in the right place. So it's just a weird watch. But revisiting it, I get why people like why people still have a lot of love for this movie. I also think, you know, this is the highest grossing rom-com starring a black actor ever, and that is like a worse celebrating. And yeah, and I do believe Hitch would learn from his experience. I also don't think humans are going to

stay together. And I think what they both need is a healthy breakup. And that is what is going to really set Hitch free. Two and a half nipples. I'm giving them all to Eva Mendez to do with what she pleases. Yes. Ronald, how about you? I think I liked it a little bit more than y'all, but not much more. I'd say three nipples. And I would give one to the growth of Alex Hitchens, one to the charm of Alex Brennaman. And I'll probably give my third nipple to the aesthetic of the film. It felt very much. like Oceans 11 Devil wears Prada

you know they're very like slick like specific scoring that you hear and sheen over the film I really enjoy that and it just brings me back to a different era they really don't make them like this anymore but for all of the reasons that you said I don't think it could go above three nipples

so yeah yeah yeah this was so much fun the Hitch episode was everything I dreamed in more I'm glad to be here. Where can people follow your work, follow you on social media, plug away. You can follow me on Instagram and threads. That is where I am the most prolific in my posting.

At, oh, it's big round. That's at O-H-I-T-S-B-I-G-R-O-N, which is also where you can find me on Letterboxed. And you can subscribe to my podcast, wait for it, spell W-E-I-G-H-T, and leaving the theater where I review films as I'm walking out of the theater. Love that. You can follow us mostly on Instagram as well as our Patreon, aka Matrion, where we do two bonus episodes

every single month plus access to the back catalog, all for $5 a month. Imagine. And with that, should we leave 90% of the way out of this episode and let the listeners leave the other 10%. And you could do the rest.

Bye. Bye. The Bechtelcast is a production of IHeart Media, hosted and produced by me, Jamie Loftus. And me, Caitlin Durante. The podcast is also produced by Sophie Lichtenen. And edited by Caitlin Durante. Ever heard of them? That's me.

And our logo and merch and all of our artwork, in fact, are designed by Jamie Loftus, ever heard of her? Oh, my God. And our theme song, by the way, was composed by Mike Kaplan. with vocals by Catherine Voskrasinski. Iconic, and a special thanks to the one and only Aristotle Acevedo. For more information about the podcast, please visit Linktree slash Bechtelcast. Hi there, this is Josh Clark from the Stuff You Should Know podcast. If you've been thinking, man alive, I could go for some good true crime podcast episodes,

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