The Bechdel Cast - Snakes on a Plane

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

On this completely normal and very sincere episode, Jamie and Caitlin discuss the mother fucking feminist masterpiece Snakes on a Plane!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. On the Bechdel cast, the questions asked if movies have women in them. Are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands or do they have individualism? The patriarchy's effin vast start changing it with the Bechdel cast hey Jamie hey Caitlin I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking podcast I wish I had a snake really is that bad no I'm not kidding I have a snake tank oh that's right yeah I went through my snake phase and then I just um it turns out I'm not kidding. I have a snake tank. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I went through my snake face and then I just It turns out I'm afraid of snakes. I too am afraid of snakes I would not want one as a pet Personally friend of the show Maggie may this is gonna be a loose episode, but it's also gonna be a very serious episode

It's so serious. Don't underestimate how much text there is to discuss Maggie may fish friend of the show, has a snake. And her snake outgrew the tank, which is a terrifying prospect. I also believe her snake is named Jeff, which I think is very cute. But. That's hilarious.

Jeff the snake. And she was like, hey, you know, Jeff outgrew the tank if you want the old tank. And so I still have the tank. But now it's like, I have two cats and a dog. You know, am I really gonna add a snake into the mix? It just feels like a lot. I mean, it's not a big apartment.

According to the movie we're watching, we're discussing today, it might be dangerous. It might be a little scary. I was honestly, okay, first of all, welcome to the Bechdel cast. This is in like sort of for like content warning and just like, I just want everyone to sort of prepare themselves for like a sort of serious episode today.

Yeah, there's a lot of like just upsetting things to discuss, there's a lot, it's, things are gonna be a little grim today. And it's gonna be, you know, it's not gonna feel good, but I think it's a conversation that, I mean, I don't know, maybe it's overcorrection to apologize, but I feel like we've been avoiding this conversation in a way that is irresponsible to our listener base who we appreciate and we care about you so much and you've been asking us to sort of speak to this

and we were just trying to get the words together. And it's, yeah, we should not have been silent on this matter, this matter being discussing the movie Snakes on a Plane. 2006. Two. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I should, I should not

be laughing. He's like, you're just serious. Okay. It not be laughing. He's not looking at your chest. This is serious. Are you okay? It's not funny. It's not funny. So I guess to open with an apology and it came from a place of kind of, I agree with the criticism that said that it was coming from a place of fear and avoidance on our point,

but in our defense, I think it was also like, when people started asking us to comment on this, I don't think we knew ourselves well enough to really be able to intelligently say, like if we had done this even three or four years ago, I wouldn't have been able to see the shades of gray in the text, I would have gotten it all wrong. Maybe even three or four months ago,

like there's been a lot of growth recently on our parts. I don't even know if we could have seen this, the snakes three or four months ago. The movie would have been really confusing if we, if we saw it. The movie is called Snakes on a Plane, but I don't see. Right. But now we know what is there and what's there is snakes on a plane. And certainly more than one. There's plural snakes. I was genuinely shocked to find that there were 450 real snakes on set because to me, they're all CGI.

I saw one shot of a, I was like, oh, that's a snake. And then the rest were, yeah, like, you know, whatever. My final animation project in college of a snake going, ha-sa-sa. This movie, look, you asked for it. Well, that's the other thing. This is our number one request. This is at the top of our request list.

I think every listener at one point has requested, nay, demanded we do this movie. I agree. And I think it's honestly, I mean, for those wondering, in case it's not obvious, is a part of the reason we like the show even exists. I approached Jamie like eight and a half, nine years ago, whatever, and I was like, it's really important to me. Like, we're not gonna be ready to do it for a long time, but it's like having the foresight to know that like this needs to be discussed

through an intersectional feminist lens and that we have to just sort of build up, build up our brand, build up our knowledge, and get to a point where we can discuss this movie. And I was kind of like, honestly, taking it back at the time where, you know, you led the conversation by being like, I have not heard anyone talk about

intersectional feminism in, which is wild, because we didn't even really use that term then. But intersectional feminism in the movie Snakes on a Plane. And I was like, okay, okay, we should try to talk about it. And then you said, well, and then you put your hand on mine, which was, you didn't ask for consent,

but it was 2016, we were still figuring stuff out. Well, Jamie, not, you know. We were vibing. The signals were there, you were giving me signals. We were vibing. We were vibing. All right, look, I'm not calling you out. I loved it, I loved it every second.

Thank you. But yeah, you put your hand on mine and you said, well, I don't think we're gonna be ready to talk about snakes on a plane for at least eight years. And I was kind of taken aback, because that's a big commitment, but you know, I don't regret a second of it I think that we needed every single second to get to where we are now

So that we I mean, honestly, I think we could have taken even longer, but it was just you know Our inboxes are overflowing. They're like now more than ever Please please talk about it. And I think it's time. I think it's time that we talk about snakes in the plant. And the other thing about it too is that, because this whole podcast has been leading up to this, there's really not much reason for us to go on. So this will be our last episode. Yeah, and so if you've been a listener for about a part of a decade now,

we're so grateful for your support, for your patience with us as we continue to grow to a point where we could finally have this discussion. And we're grateful and we're snake full. That was not a very good joke. But again, this is a very serious episode. I think it's good. You need levity in an episode like this. Yeah, that's true. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears. But, you know, for old time's sake, if you're a first time listener, this is the perfect episode of this show to start with. This is the Bechtel cast.

Yeah, sorry, again, sorry to laugh. It's a response to fear. It's wild, but people aren't laughing more in the movies, snakes and all that. I think I do mean that. But the Bechtel cast is a show where we look at your favorite movies You know using the Bechtel test as a jumping-off point mm-hmm for discussion Caitlin. I mean Just as a send-off would you like the folks at home know what that is?

Yeah, I'll modify it a little bit for the sake of this episode so the Bechtel test there are many versions of it. For this episode in particular, do two snakes hiss at each other about something other than another snake. And it has to be a really significant like hiss for it to pass. Yeah. Yeah.

And I felt like, you know, by that metric and shockingly by even more conventional metrics, this movie does pass the Bechdel test and more than once, which was frankly shocking. So shocking. But I do feel I feel ready to I just feel ready. I feel ready to jump in. Well, what's your relationship? With this movie Jamie and nothing. I have no history with this movie I remember that it came out on my birthday when I was in middle school. Whoa Yeah, it just came out on August 18th

Yeah, it did. It came out on my birthday in middle school and I remember wanting to see it, but unfortunately I was in middle school and I could not go see it. And I just remember, I don't know if I like held it against the movie, but I never saw it. Like I was just like, fuck this movie. I'm 13, I can't go.

And it's always like, I feel like I always remember when a movie, especially when I was young, I can't go. And it's always like, I feel like I always remember when a movie, especially when I was young, came out on my birthday, because The Master of Disguise came out on my birthday, The Iron Giant came out on my birthday, Snakes on a Plane came out on my birthday. You just remember, you know, when your birthday's

on a Friday, these are things that stick. Do you remember a specific movie coming out on your birthday? I think the movie Troy came Whoa, okay. Not on my birthday, but I might be full of shit. Let me see Troy release date. Oh, it was close. It was May 14 2004. There you go. So a few days off. But it's like it came out the week and you just remember especially when you're too young to see the movie. This was the ultimate example of this for me because

You know did the master disguise come out at least close to my birthday? Yes, but I was the target audience and so I could go but snakes on a plane Yeah, I just had never seen it and I think another reason you were avoiding it Probably is because it is such a heavy text and And you could sense that from the marketing. And so I think, you know, probably, you know, I love my parents. They're great parents. And I think they were probably like, she's not ready.

And honestly, at that time, they may not have been ready to see. I mean, fair. What took place. I will say, this is my first experience with Snakes on a Plane. I was really genuinely interested in the micro lore around this movie that I wasn't aware of

because it's like, yeah, my other podcast is all about internet history and this movie is way more entrenched in early 2000s internet history than I realize. And in fact, content in the movie is influenced by how people talked about this movie on the internet, which I'm sure that there are examples, but I can't think of an example predating this,

where it was like the movie got such hype on the internet that they went back and did five days of reshoots to reflect that hype, which is like the level of insecurity that must require, I can't conceive. But at the time, I'm sure it made sense of like, because in the mid 2000s, they're like, oh my gosh, if we capitulate to fan desires, this movie's gonna do great.

And that mentality happens to this day. It's why the last Star Wars movie was bad, I'm pretty sure. It's because people just like, you know, all the Star Wars people read Reddit boards and they're like, ooh, let's just do that. And like, but Snakes on a Plane is a great case study that that does not work. But I just, I don't know,

I really enjoyed learning about the fact that this movie exists. I really, I mean, and it is is an interesting, it's really 2006. It's just 2006. Boy is it. In all ways, good and bad. In ways I can finally see after doing the show for a decade. I feel like I can really get into the meat of this.

And look, we were talking about this before we started recording. If the goal of a movie is to be entertaining, this is the best movie in the world. Because there is not a second where I wasn't like, it really took me back to, I'm trying to remember, I think it was like Taken was the last time that I felt like this watching a movie for the first time

because I was in, but I was in a full theater. I saw taken when it came out. But you know, where whenever something happened you would just be like, what? Like, you know. Would you say you were taken aback? I was taken in. Were you snaking aback?

I was, I was snaking in, I was snakingened in, I was snakened to back. I was snakened to another place. Can you snake me higher? You win, you win, you win. That's, that's. You win. Remember that Creed song? I do.

Wow, now we're really in 2006. Yeah, but like watching this at home on Peacock at 1 a.m. is how this movie is best watched outside of in a full theater in 2006. I had the best time watching this damn movie. I'm so glad to hear that because as I was watching it, I was like, oh no, I might owe Jamie an apology for insisting we do this.

But I was only doing it because all the listeners, again, demanded we cover this. It had nothing to do with my personal desire to cover this. No, absolutely not. And I, but, you know, I think that it was brave of you to, because I took some convincing, but I'm so glad that we finally took the leap.

What's your history with Snakes on a Plane? I saw this movie in theaters. Jealous. In 2006, I went with my best friend JT, and oh boy, we just had quite a time. And we had an even better time, I think, with the credits song. Wait, tell me more.

Basically just that we would play it all the time. Okay. And kind of. This is your I, Frankenstein. Yeah, it might be. I watched the video to the Cobra Starship song. Oh my God, that was written for this movie. And the song is called Snakes on a Plane,

parentheses, bring it, I think. I should know, because I listened to it a million times. I don't know, but I just thought it was the best song of 2006 and I watched the music video on repeat. I also had like a crush on everybody in the video. What was the music video like? This is, I'm out of my depth here. Oh my God.

I have not seen the Cobra Starship. To send it to you to make sure. Stakes Out Playing music video. Should I pull it up? Yeah, maybe. It is basically. Stay still, play music video. Should I pull it up? Yeah, maybe. It is basically. I'll watch that on mute.

It's four members of Cobra Starship. And what was their big, was their big hit Good Girls Go Bad, or am I thinking of a different band? I literally only know about this band in relation to this song? I'm right. Oh, I kind of hate that I'm right.

Yeah, they did. Good Girls Go Bad. OK. The music video is just the members of the band. Because I think there have been various members of this musical group. The ones featured in the music video is Gabe Soporta, William Beckett of The Academy is,

Travi McCoy of Gym Class Heroes. Oh, Travi McCoy. Yeah. Sorry, I love Travi McCoy. And then Maya Iverson of The Sounds, not familiar with that group, but anyway, it's like this amalgamation of different musicians from different other bands and then.

Oh, so it's, Cobra Starship is a super group. I guess I didn't, I don't know anything about this. I don't know anything about it either. I just knew they were on like the Gossip Girl soundtrack or something. Okay, so I'm watching it on mute right now. Yeah, I'm getting the side part vibes, the side part vibes,

the side part vibes, the wallet chains. Everyone's killing it. Wow, I love young Travi McCoy. I don't know anything about him from the last 15 years. Hopefully he isn't a bad person. But you know, 2006, we just don't know. We just simply don't know. Anyway. Wait, this music video's fun.

And the song slaps so hard. All the outfits are so ugly. Everyone, I mean, it's so wild looking back to it because just this whole decade is just full of some of the most rancid, bizarro ways you could possibly dress up a person. I look at pictures of myself in high school and I was like, why do I look older than I currently am?

Like I was wearing, you know, like sensible vests, but also like a push-up bra that was like lying to a degree that was absurd. Like I, it was, I had like really overplugged eyebrows, but also yet a sensible mother's haircut. I'm like, what is this? Like, what is this? What is this? Why do I look 45 and yet I'm 15?

It's bizarre. It was a confusing time, yeah. And all this to say, I saw this, I would call it a cinematic masterpiece in theaters. And I really just felt the weight of it and I've been carrying that weight around for the following 19 years. It's time to release. This episode is going to be very cathartic.

It's going to finally give me the chance to release the venom that has been coursing through my veins from this movie for 19 years. Which, and the movie I associate with Venom is that horrible Eminem song that he did for the credits of the movie Venom, a movie I haven't seen, but I think the, and like you with this song,

the end credit song by Eminem to Veminem is so funny because it is 80% him being, he goes like, Veminem, Veminem, Veminem, Veminem. And that's like most of the song. I need to listen to this. It just cracks me up. It was on the radio for 45 seconds

because it was like one of the most annoying, because you know, and it's like an M&M he's like look out because i'm gonna uh hit you look out because i am scary and then it wait the most half-assed song i've ever heard in my life it was great okay consider Consider this, M and M, Vem and M, Venom and M. Venom and M. Venom and M. Venom and M. Venom and M. Venom and M.

Yeah, Venom and M. Venom and M. Pretty cool. All right, we can end the show now. We figured it out. Goodbye. So, okay, you have a kind of beautiful connection with this, Bufi.

I would say so. It does seem like you and JT are just snakes in a plane as me and my friend Jake are to I, Frankenstein in a way. I mean, have you rewatched it very much? No, that was my only time seeing it. Okay, so I guess that's the difference. That's maybe the difference, is I've seen I, Frankenstein probably 20 times.

Okay, but this, I mean, I'm excited to talk about the history of this movie, but it is such a dense text that I feel like we should probably just. Get into it. Get into it, yeah. This movie was also originally called Venom. It was, and then it got changed to some clunky title, like Pacific Airways Flight 121,

and then Samuel L. Jackson demanded that they change it back to Snakes on a Plane, because that was the working title, which was surely going to get changed. And then he was like, no, you motherfuckers, change it back to Snakes on a Plane. And it's also Samuel Jackson's, not fault, accomplishment that this movie is R and not PG-13

because he's like, there can't be just one fuck in this movie because I need to say this line. I love, because the way I'd seen this movie framed in, I don't even, I mean, I can't even single out a specific moment, but it's like, oh, this is like a fun campy kind of flop moment for Sam Jackson, but when I heard him talk about it, I'm like, he knows exactly what he's doing,

and he was just like, it's a B movie and it's fun. And you're like, yeah. And then you watch it and you're like, that's exactly what this is. This movie knows exactly what it is. Yes. No one here thinks they're in a better movie than they're in.

I don't know what you mean because it's the best movie ever made, but they all think they're in Citizen Kane and they are. That's what I'm saying. Yes, yes, yes. Exactly. Okay. Let's take a quick break, a quick snake break.

Ooh, scary. And we'll be right back. I'm Jamie Petrus, music and culture writer. For the past five years, I've been talking to the band's three surviving musicians, and I've been working with them on the album. I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album,

and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, and I've been working with them on the album, I'm Jamie Petrus, music and culture writer. For the past five years, I've been talking to the band's three surviving members.

They're out of prison now and in their 70s. Their past behind them. But they also have some unfinished business. It's a story about the liberating power of music. Eyes of Love was supposed to have been followed up by another album. It's a story about the liberating power of music, the American justice system, and ultimately second chances. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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The limitations from degree screens to stereotypes that are holding back over 70 million stars. Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time for skills to speak for themselves. Find resources for breaking through barriers at tearthepapersceiling.org, brought to you by Opportunity at Work and the Ad Council. I'm Camila Ramon, Peloton's first Spanish-speaking cycling and tread instructor. I'm an athlete, entrepreneur, and almost most importantly, a perreo enthusiast. And I'm Liz Ortiz, former pro soccer player, and Olympian and like Kami, a perreo enthusiast. Come on, who is it? Our podcast Hasta Abajo is where sports, music, and fitness collide, and we cover it all. De arriba hasta abajo. Sit downs

with real game changers in the sports world, like Miami Dolphins CMO Priscilla Schumate who is redefining what it means to be a Latina leader. It all changed when I had this guy come to me. He said to me, you know, you're not Latina. First of all, what is that? I'm out in wide open. Yeah. History makers like the Sucar family who became the first Peruvians to win a Grammy.

It was a very special moment for us. It's been 15 years for me in this career. Finally, things are starting to shift into a different level. Listen to Hasta Waho on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports Network. Okay, we're back from our snake break.

And here is the recap of Snakes on a Plane. We open in Hawaii. There's a dude riding around on a motocross bike and he comes upon a man who's hanging upside down from a tree he's all bloodied and some bad guys including a famous mobster named Eddie Kim okay they shh mm-hmm I already have so much to say because this first first scene, I was already like, this is gonna be such an awesome movie to watch, because it is the first 10 minutes,

well, I don't even know, the first five minutes of this movie is just motocross. Motocross and surfing, yeah. Yeah, and you're like, and I guess the sort of question is, who is that? And I was like, if this is Sam Jackson, I'm gonna freak out. But it wasn't him.

It's actually some guy who I will refer to throughout the episode as not James Marston. Because to me, it is very clear that that was the vibe they were going for. That's who they wanted to cast. And James Marston. And James Marston weirdly would have been a good pick at this time for that role because he was doing like some prestige supporting like, you know, oh, you're the second in command

to Sam Jackson. Like it would have made sense for him, but maybe he read it and it's like, no, no, no, no. He might have read the script and he's like, this is actually too good. I will not do it justice and I should just step away. I should give it to some Australian guy, which is what happened. But yeah, who can account for what happened?

I love that part of the reason Sam Jackson did this movie is because he did not read the script. He agreed to it based on the title. He did it based on the title and the director who did not end up directing it. So he kinda got hoodwinked into doing this. But okay, the first scene, the amount of expositional dialogue, which is like one of my favorite things

to see in a B movie. I watched the opening scene twice, because first of all, this Australian actor, Nathan Phillips, I don't know anything about him. I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'm not even sure he's a nice guy, but he's a, you know, whatever, I don't know a thing about him. But consistently throughout this movie,

I don't know if this actor has difficulty looking scared, but he never seems scared enough for me. Like he sees a horrific, like a guy falls from a bridge and he goes, ugh, like that's it. And that's about like the peak of fear that this performance has. But anyways, okay, Eddie Kim comes in. Eddie Kim, as far as I'm concerned, batting a hundred

for the few times we see him. The guy hanging from the bridge upside down says, fuck you, Eddie Kim. You're always gonna wanna address your assaulter by their full government name. Exactly. Easy, great first line of dialogue to the movie. Fuck you, Eddie Kim.

And then Eddie Kim is gonna match his energy and give an absurd amount of exposition. He's gonna say, well, look at you, Mr. Prosecutor. Always important to save the job of your victim as you're bullying them. He includes more detail about him than is even relevant to his character. Then again, I was raised by a single mom

and I was like, no, why do I know this? And then clean this up. I'm going back to LA. Important to say where you're going. And then I was like cracking up at that. And then we cut to a news broadcast that repeats all of this information, which was, I was like,

this movie has no faith in the audience whatsoever. We cut to a news broadcast that's like, last night, criminal Eddie Kim killed a prosecutor and now he's going back to LA. You're just like, okay. Also this thing with Eddie Kim, played by an actor named Brian Lawson, by the way. He was great.

I loved every second of him. Amazing. In this world, Eddie Kim is the most famous person. He is like A-list celebrity. Everyone knows who this mobster is. He is world renowned. Anytime someone says, oh yeah, I'm testifying against Eddie Kim,

they're like, oh my God, I know exactly who that is. And that's so scary. The two celebrities in this world are Eddie Kim and 3G. 3G's. Yep. Not 3G Eddie Kim and 3G's. 3G's, yeah. Not 3G's, poor 3G's. Like the actor who had to play him, I mean. Yes, the germaphobic rapper 3G's, which is a fun concept, but we'll circle back to 3G's.

We'll get there. For now we're on Eddie Kim. He shows up to kill Mr. Prosecutor, who I guess was like trying to take down Eddie Kim and his associates. Yeah, but then again, Eddie Kim was raised by a single mom. Yeah, right. Okay, so Eddie Kim kills the prosecutor.

The motocross dude, his name is Sean, played by Nathan Phillips, he witnesses this. And so he bails by running away on his very noisy motorcycle that all the other mobsters notice. So they, the minions, sorry is how I should address them, Eddie Kim's minions go looking for Sean and they're about to break into his apartment. And he once again is really failing

to look appropriately afraid of what's happening to him. He's just, again, I kept putting the movie on, because I was watching it with Grant last night, and I kept putting the movie on mute and trying to score this guy's performance, because if you put it on mute and you just make the sound, ooh, that's what he's evoking.

There's literally armed hit men at his door and he's like, ah! Oh no. Oh no, doesn't move away from the door. Just keeps looking through the keyhole. I'm like, fella, you're in trouble. He, it's interesting. Yeah.

So he does try to eventually get out of his apartment when who appears, but FBI agent Neville Flynn, played by Samuel L. Jackson. And we're like, yes! He rescues Sean and brings him in for questioning and tells Sean that he needs to fly to LA to testify against Eddie Kim so that they can throw him in jail. And Sean's like, I don't know, sounds dangerous. There might be snakes on the plane from Hawaii to LA.

And they're like, no, that would never happen. No, they're like, never in a million years. Yeah. So we cut to the Honolulu airport. Several passengers are waiting to board a plane that may or may not have snakes on it. Passengers include a rapper named Three Gs. This reminded me so much of, have you, I forget, I'm gonna make us do it for my birthday month,

if I remember. Oh no. But have you seen old, am I Shemalyn's old? No, I still have not. There's a, I would say worse written, famous rapper character in that movie. Sure. The character's name is Mid-Sized Sedan.

Oh my gosh, I remember. Yes, and he is not a rapper with germaphobia, he's a rapper with hemophilia. And so you can see how cinema influences cinema, and I just thought that that would be an important thing to point out. But I was just a really broadly, poorly written rap character by the least cool man, and I

mean, not to knock M. Night Shyam, I love that he's uncool, but someone who is not qualified to write a cool rapper character, and then is like, no, no, this makes sense, and gives, you know, just the most half-assed, I mean, midsize sedan is more half-assed than 3G's, but 3G's is pretty bad. He wrote a song that seems to be about making that booty go thump. Oh booty go thump of course. Booty go thump. And I respect him for it. I just you can just like hear the two like I was actually surprised that the men who wrote this movie were younger than I thought.

They're in their early 30s. I was like, then why does this dialogue sound, like when 3G is introduced, and also Kenan Thompson is one of his longtime friends slash security detail, they call him like the Howard Hughes of rap. And I'm like, who is that line for? I don't like that's that line is for a very old man. Like why are they saying that?

Unless I am mistaken and young people in 2006 would have been referencing Howard Hughes right and left. It was just really, I was like, who wrote this damn movie? But it was like fairly, I mean, who knows who punched it up? Maybe it was like a senior, I mean, with all due respect, a senior citizen was like, bring up Howard Hughes. The people love Howard Hughes.

Here's my theory. The Kenan Thompson character, whose name is Troy, I believe, his favorite movie is The Aviator. So he's just like watching The Aviator right and left. He knows all about Howard Hughes, and he's just making references to that whenever he can. Oh, I mean, that is true.

He is The Aviator. But like, I was trying to learn about the screenwriters of this movie. One is quite easy to learn about, Sebastian Gutierrez, who would have been, he has written movies to mostly not loved movies like gothica, snakes of the plain. In any case, he was fairly young.

I mean, he was in his like, and also he's married to Carla Gugino, who is amazing. Wait, from spy kids? Yes. Wait, also I just realized, so the aviator, Yeah. Kenan Thompson. He's not in that, right?

No, no, no. That can't be true. Okay, I was like, wait, hold on. His whole thing is that later he flies the plane. I was gonna say, I thought that was what you were saying, that that was a plant in payoff that he knows about aviation. But then the twist is he actually doesn't. He doesn't.

We'll get there. But no, the joke I was trying to make is that the aviator is about Howard Hughes. So that's why he's dropping that specific reference. That's why this text is so deep and heavy and difficult to talk about. We can't pretend to have the answers. No, but Sebastian Gutierrez,

he is a Venezuelan writer-director. And he was in his early 30s when this came out, like the Howard Hughes line is not clonking for me from him. The other writer is John Heffernan, but it's hard. I know that he passed away in 2017, but I don't know when he was born, and this is the only movie he ever worked on. Which is kind of interesting.

There's another story by credit, and this is pretty cool, to David D'Alessandro, who was, Caitlin Connection, University of Pittsburgh administrator and first time writer, but he started developing this concept in 1992. So it's also very unclear how old he is. We just don't know. It is wild to think that Snakes on a Plane has been in development, was in development at least at that point,

at least as long as I had been alive. Because I would never have guessed. It's giving thrown together in six weeks, but it was actually a long time. No, it's a, that's how long it takes to write a masterpiece. In any case, we've met 3G's, the rapper, and his entourage, two bodyguards, one of whom is Kenan Thompson,

one of whom is another guy. We meet them. We meet Mercedes, played by Rachel Blanchard, who I recognize from Flight of the Conchords. I recognize her from Peep Show. Okay. She's, yeah, she is above this, but I have to feel like the comedy actors, the comedy character actors we see

in this, I feel like have to be in on the job, especially David Kegner, who I love. And he really makes a meal of the part of Rick. Oh yeah. His whole character is he loves to sexually harass the flight attendants. And that is literally his nevertheless he persisted moments where he's on the verge of death, but he's like,

but even on the verge of death, I can still sexually harass my coworker. And you're like, wow, question mark. Yeah, so he's there, Mercedes is there with her little dog. There's a very rude. Which because there was, I'm so sorry. But I feel like every horror movie during this era had a Paris Hilton insert parody character.

And that is who this is. Yes. Yeah. She's there with her dog. There's a very rude British man. He'll get his comeuppance, don't you worry. Julianne Margulies, Zionist piece of shit is in the chat as well.

But she's brunette, so she's gonna make it. Right, she's one of the flight attendants along with Tiffany. There is a queer coded flight attendant, a man named Ken, and then there's also an older woman named Grace. Those are all the flight attendants. We also meet the co-pilot Rick, played by David Keckner. There's a couple on their honeymoon.

There's a different couple who are very horny for each other. There's a young mother with a baby. There are two kids, brothers, who are flying alone without their parents And I love that they go out of their way to be like and not just any parents a Soldier you're like, okay Like who was on the plane? How was he allowed to be on the plane and then I guess he got off before the flight took off

I think that a lot of the, a lot of, I mean this movie being on a plane is very inconsistent. I think, because there's scenes that literally look ripped off from Titanic, people trying to get up a staircase, which planes famously don't usually have. There I think are some like really fancy ones that have like the first class.

I've never been on a plane like that. I was like, I had to Google it. I was like, is this made up? But like, I really, something I thought was interesting about this movie is that once you know how long it was in development, it makes sense because clearly some plots of this are about plane travel ostensibly before 9-11.

And many are about after 9-11. And they're also kind of lifting, I think, from Lost, which was like the most popular show on TV at this time. And I feel like Lost, without being overly like dismissive, but like, I think Lost kind of ripped the bandaid off culturally of like, we can have horror about planes again, because after 9-11 obviously this was something that was avoided, a lot of movies were significantly

adjusted including 2002's Lilo and Stitch in order to avoid themes of plane crashes and peril on planes. For several years that didn't appear in media but then when Lost came out all of a sudden it's like, and we're back, but I think a lot of the characters, and I say this because I just watched all of Lost and got really obsessed, and I'm looking at my Lost toys

with my eyeballs right now. You have Lost toys? I see. They're those, you know those, my niece loves them, like little, Fisher Prize little people toys. They made a Collector's Lost set, and it's literally just Baby Lost. It's cute, I have baby Hurley here,

baby Jack, baby Kate, and of course, baby John Locke, my favorite character. Anyways, this was a very popular, I was trying to contextualize why did this movie happen in this way. Yeah, but anyways, I feel like the part of this movie that was developed before 9-11 had a soldier getting all the way onto the plane with his children

because that would never have happened after 9-11. But then a lot of the, I just thought, especially the character of the blonde woman with the baby felt very lifted from, that's like Claire from Lost. There are a few characters that are insert here from Lost to me, but maybe I'm projecting. It's not like Lost invented blonde single mothers.

I don't remember that character on Lost having a baby. He was important, Aaron, Aaron the baby. And then the others stole Aaron. And then Dominic Monahan had to go save the baby. Oh, because he had a crush on Claire, is that her name? On Claire, yeah. That's how she said her name, she was Australian, Claire. Right, she was, okay.

Was she the one who was like the sister to the Ian Somerhalder character or is that a different pairing of people? No, that's the other blonde. This is the thing, this is the problem about talking about the blonde. Wow, how problematic of me. No no this is a this is a and it's nothing against the actors but this is like oh my god watching movies from really most times but the number of blondes in this movie is quite staggering. And also the horror movie tropes associated with the blondes, there's no subversion in this movie whatsoever. Julianna Margulies is our singular white brunette,

and white being an important qualifier in that case. And therefore she's the only one with a functioning brain, and all of the blonde women are going to be variously damseled or slut shamed, to the point where we'll get there. But I just thought it was, I had to pause the movie and explain it to my fiance. Your fiance. My fiance, because that's what should happen

in more straight couples, women should be explaining movies to the men. Exactly. But I just thought it was wild that we were introduced to so many blondes. I was like, okay, I'm gonna assume the mother will live because being a mother is considered by films to be worthy of life, right?

I'm gonna assume mother and baby are gonna live. I'm gonna assume the woman who is Julianna Margulies' friend who's wearing a skirt shorter than Julianna Margulies, is going to be in peril, will either die or then get a boyfriend and live. That's the Tiffany character. Through being validated by a man, Tiffany. I'm assuming anyone over 40 will die,

but then the first woman who dies is the blondest, most skimpily clad- Horny-ish. Person on the planet. Yeah, so they're like, we need to find the blondest, most skimpily clad person on the planet. Yeah, so they're like, we need to find the blondest woman alive and then kill her. Kill her.

Via a nipple bite. It was just wild. Anyways, what's happening in the movie? I just, this movie is a very rich text. It's so rich. So we've met most of the cast. Meanwhile, in the cargo hold, there is a man, a bad boy,

a minion of famous mobster Eddie Kim. And he's spraying this box of Lays. Not the chips, the flower necklace. The flower, yes, exactly. And he's saying, these pheromones are gonna make these guys go crazy. And we're like, these pheromones are gonna make these guys go crazy. And we're like, these guys, do you mean the snakes that are on the plane?

And that's what he means, yeah. The flight starts boarding with Sean and Agent Flynn and another FBI guy, Agent Sanders, I think. I couldn't figure out who that was. All we know about him is that he's Sam Jackson's friend and he's also divorced and that is what bonds them as adult men. They're like, we're both divorced.

We're both bad partners. I'd die for him. You're like, okay, whatever. Maybe that's how men make friends, I don't know. No idea. So the three of them are the only people in first class since like whatever Sean has to be protected or something. And so everyone else has to be moved to coach.

They've all been given a lay that was riddled with snake pheromones, even though those lays were in the cargo hold. But now when they're being given them, like as they board the plane, they're in the airport. Yeah. So there's some- This is not gonna pass a basic snuff test of logic, which is fine for a B movie,

but the specific examples are very funny. Yeah, if B movie stands for beautiful, brilliant. Beautiful movie. Movie. My favorite bizarro plot hole is mid plane crash in 2006, Sam Jackson is able to send a high resolution photo via email from his flip phone. Oh boy, I was like, yeah, I love movie.

That was awesome. Yeah, it was great. Okay, so the flight takes off and after a short while, a mechanism is triggered in the cargo hold once the plane reaches an altitude of 35,000 feet. So it reminded me of speed where, oh, the bus goes 50 miles an hour. That triggers the bomb, whatever. So, um, this triggers the snakes. This one triggers the snakes.

And so a whole slew of snakes on the plane start slithering out from somewhere. Meanwhile, back in the cabin of the plane, everyone is horny. We got three Gs and Mercedes flirting. We've got the horny couple going into the bathroom to have sex, something that the flight attendants think is awesome. They're like, woohoo, you go girl. Which I was like, I, you know,

I've never worked as a flight attendant. I have one friend who's a flight attendant, but that would have been like a weird text to send to be like Do you guys love when people I think I think they don't love it at all I would I think it's safe to assume absolutely not and I think it's probably illegal to have sex in the bathroom Plane sure, but also I'm thinking if I'm a flight attendant, I'm like unless it's posing a danger I'm not gonna file a report. Just please get out of the bathroom. I don't know what I would do in that situation,

but suffice it to say that these flight attendants love. Also, the Mile High Club, if your goal is to join the Mile High Club, like, you know. Grow up. Yeah, get a dream bag. Yeah. Come on. Okay, so.

Grow up. Get them. Get a dream big. Yeah, come on Okay, so grow up Get them Okay, so Everyone's horny and they're releasing pheromones of their own Yeah, I don't know if it affects the snakes or not But also is a young Taylor kitch is the guy who I who's that didn't recognize? well Thankfully, I had a man in the house to tell me

he was in Friday Night Lights, which I never would have known. And he was also in True Detective season two. I mean, he's a pretty famous actor, but this is like, I think one of his early roles as like, he was also in John Tucker Must Die this year. I think he had to sort of serve in the trenches of himbo roles before he got real actor roles.

I see. Okay. And good for him. But do I care? No, no. Okay, so we got all these CGI snakes slithering through the plane, we are seeing things sometimes through their green snake eye vision, which which I did not fact check, but it literally looks like, oh, does snakes look like, does snake vision like also looking through a gun? Like it looks like infrared. It's sniper, like maybe I didn't look it up because I assumed the movie didn't look it up.

So I don't know. The movie didn't look up anything. Yeah. I think, yeah. Okay, didn't look up anything, I think. Yeah. OK, so there's like an enormous number of snakes slithering throughout the plane. No one notices that they're right there. They're under their feet. They're in their purses.

They're going up a lady's dress. Well, in their defense, those snakes are computer generated. So the actors, I think the actors are made to be looking at that like they're doing a bad job when they, in fact, were just never told where the CGI snakes were going to be. I fully believe there's full sequences where they're like, just be asleep on the plane.

And then they add in a CGI snake sexually assaulting you and there's no reaction from the actor. Just, and we'll get back to her because she was done a severe injustice. Anyways. Yes. So then a snake who's on the plane attacks the horny couple that are having sex in the bathroom. Another snake on the plane comes out of a toilet of a different bathroom and bites a man's penis. Now this is, I've seen a lot of criticism around this movie and I don't know where to fall on it. Where this is one of the first movies

that was really influenced by internet humor. But I see, I personally find that to be a stretch because B movies have always been kind of influenced by lowest common denominator. Kind of like. Oh for sure. So I wasn't bothered by it, but I did laugh, the early kills in this movie are really going for it.

I mean, the like the blondest woman in the world being sexualized to the absurdist degree that they could do without the movie being rated, you know, NC 17. You know, she is punished for being punished for having sex by a snake bite to the nipple. And then cut to, the guy takes his dick out to pee. And for those with penises, please sound off in the chat.

Do you also say, how's my big boy when you start to take a leak, because I thought that was delightful. I thought that was so funny as a grant, you should start doing that. Snake's in the toilet, Snake also I noticed, unless it was a computer glitch, seemed to drink a little bit of his piss.

Did not notice that. I think he did. And then he jumps on and then he says, fucking bitch, get off my dick, is what he says to the snake that's killing him. That's what he says to the snake who is biting his dick off maybe. Don't know.

Contrary to popular belief, I think that when a man says, hi big boy, to his penis, that passes the Bechtel test. I see the only time I would be saying hi big boy is when I'm walking into Bob's big boy in Burbank, California, I'm passing the statue and I say, hi big boy, because that's his name.

Yeah. But I did wonder, I was like, wow, you know, cis masculinity is so twisted. Yeah. Any, any, any listeners say hi, big boy when they pee. And if not, you know, let us know if it's fun. Hi, big boy. How no, how's my big boy, which is even we're how's my big boy initiating our conversation. Yeah. That was never answered because that penis was not long for this world. Usually I would assume that penis would answer. Yeah. The early kills I thought were the best. The kills sort of got, except for one that we'll come back to, the British guy. Oh, sure. Yes, yes, yes. That was good. Yeah. Okay. So the snakes are attacking, but it's like little by little at first here. We also see some snakes bite some of the wiring, which causes a bunch of like electrical failures on the plane, which like sort of doesn't really do any or didn't do anything that was clear

to me. Because every time the plane starts crashing, it's because the pilot is dead. Right. Because every time the plane starts crashing, it's because the pilot is dead. Right, but then that is always resolved by, like when someone would, it did make me laugh. And not to be overly didactic, because it's a B movie. But without fail, anytime the plane was crashing, it would be resolved by someone who knew how to fly a plane, be like, put autopilot back on.

And I was like, surely they're in touch with base camp or whatever. I'm like, why don't they just say, do that? If that is gonna solve, like even when David Kechter almost comes back from the dead, he literally is like, just put autopilot on. Why don't they just do that? Like, how does Sam Jackson not,

and it's apparently just, you know, I don't know anything about flying planes, but it's a clearly labeled button. Wouldn't you just press it? One might think. You know, the minions can land a plane better than these guys. Think about that.

I do reference that later in my notes, yes. Thank God, thank God. Fret not, Jamie. Okay, yes. Thank God, thank God. Fret not, Jamie. Okay, good. Okay, so the snakes are emerging. The pilot, not David Keckner, because I think he's like the co-pilot, the Mr. Official pilot, who is an actor

who I recognize from exactly one scene from Josie and the Pussycats. Oh. He's the guy who, I think he might be FBI but he like comes in to pretend to bust. I honestly have no fucking clue who is who in this thing. Like I also was like I again this is I don't know but I was surprised that the FBI was like I thought you had to be subtle about that. You know I didn't know you're like we're the FBI clear first class. I'm like does it is I thought you had to be subtle about that. I didn't know you were like, we're the FBI,

clear first class. I'm like, I thought that that would introduce like a safety vulnerability. Right, shouldn't they be more covert? It reminds me of that part in Point Break where Keanu's character who's supposed to be undercover is like loudly introducing himself with his like full real name.

He is like not being covert at all. I'm just like, no, like it's, you know, and we're supposed to believe this is the government agency that has gotten away with killing MLK for half a century. I don't think so. Like you gotta be a little better than that. And also not to keep bringing Lost back into it, but I've got a, I don't think so. Like you gotta be a little better than that. And also not to keep bringing Lost back into it, but I've got a, I'm a Lost fan.

Like they're, one of the characters in Lost is being like escorted by a federal agent internationally in the pilot of Lost and they're sitting in coach because you're not supposed to be really obvious about that. Right. Kate. There's another, oh my gosh, Right, there's another. Kate. Oh my gosh, I forgot it's Kate. Yeah. Wow.

Okay, there's a movie, is it Midnight Run? I always get this movie confused with another movie. I think it is Midnight Run, where the whole premise of that is, I think it's Robert De Niro's. I don't think I know about this movie. He's the agent agent and Charles Groton is the like criminal or whatever under custody

and I don't remember what else happens in that movie, it's been a really long time since I've seen it. But yeah, there's whole movies with this premise. Anyway, okay, so the pilot, he's in Chelsea and the Pussycats as well. He goes to fix the electrical problems that the snakes on the plane have caused, but a snake- The motherfucking snakes.

The motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking- They really make you wait for that line. They really do, but honestly, when it happens- It's worth it. It's worth it. You're like, and that is why Sam Jackson is a movie star. Yeah. Precisely.

Okay, so the snake bites the pilot and he dies. And the crew is like, darn. Well, let's keep heading to LA. We're over halfway there. Okay, yes. I have notes on just the bizarre, I'm like, they must've shot this absurdly out of order. I'm wondering how many script changes happened

because the lack of reaction, there's a David Kector read that just cracked me up. Wait, where is it? I have so many notes. Oh yeah, he first, like the David Kector, I think it's Rick who's like, I've worked with him for decades. Yeah, a decade.

And then just as soullessly, Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, he has suffered a fatal heart attack. We're gonna keep flying. You're just like, okay. And then there's like, just these matter of fact readings that made me laugh so much. Eddie somehow managed to fill the plane with poisonous snakes.

You're like, yeah, sure. Because we haven't even gotten to Bobby Cannavale. No. Bobby Cannavale, the porn addict. Oh, is he? I didn't know that about him. That's, for a while, the only thing we know about him is they're like, what are you doing, watching porn?

Oh, his character, not his, not him. Yeah, no, I don't, I don't know anything about it. Sorry, I didn't mean to. Yeah, his character loves porn. Bobby Cannavale is not catching a stray from't, I don't know anything about it. Sorry, I didn't mean to. Yeah, his character loves porn. Bobby Cavalli is not catching a stray from me. I don't know a thing about him. Loved his work in I, Tonya. Oh, sure.

He's in it for about one minute. But yeah, his character, I was like, he also seems, everyone's kind of in on the joke here. I hope so. He later says the line, that's gonna leave a mark. I'm like, he can't think this is gonna be a career defining role for him. You know?

You never know. Okay, so let's see. The pilot's dead. Just then, tons of snakes on the plane attack all at once. A bunch of people get bitten and die immediately. These are mostly like extras who we haven't really met. We don't know them. But one of the little boys who we do know gets bitten. One of 3G's bodyguards gets bitten, the one who isn't Keenan Thompson. On the ass? On the ass. Introduce homophobic 2006 side plot.

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Let's see, the woman with the baby gets knocked unconscious. There's a part where the flight attendant, Grace, she's the older one who's about to retire, kind of sacrifices herself to save the young woman's baby because old women are disposable. And must die for the young.

I really loved, Grace was a fun character. They did her dirty. I know. Meanwhile, Flynn is like zapping the snakes with his taser. He's got so many weapons on board. You know, he's FBI, but he brought all his weapons on the plane into the cabin. Again, very like pre-9-11 plot point there.

Right. Eventually, the survivors who didn't die from this initial burst of attacks. Mostly blonde women. Lots of blonde women. They managed to kind of like barricade themselves into one area of the plane and block the snakes using a bunch of luggage. I really, I mean, again, you know, he couldn't have known, but it is very bone chilling saying like

his first suggestion being like, we need to build a wall. You're like, that line is gonna age extraordinarily poorly. And also the fact that he's an FBI agent with a million weapons and that's his best idea. But whatever, it seems to work. It takes them forever to get the idea to go upstairs into first class. But then it's like Titanic.

Like it's the end of Titanic, they're like, ah! They cannot get upstairs in an orderly fashion. The stairs break. It's like, it's ridiculous. It's awesome. Yeah. All right, it's around this time when the other FBI agent, Sanders, dies from a snake bite.

Also, he declares earlier his fear of snakes. So this is an especially bad trip for him. And then he dies. I love those moments in horror movies. We also get a similar moment with Grace where they're like, he was my best friend. You're like, okay. Same with David Kechner in the pilot.

You're like, well, I'm sorry. I feel nothing at all. Like, I don't know who this person is. Because the movie treats Agent Sander's death like it's this deeply tragic moment that the audience is gonna have to like really pause and contemplate. But we're like, who is, who the fuck is this guy again?

I don't know him. The three deaths I think we were supposed to feel away about were like the pilot, the partner and Grace. And Grace was the only one. And that was strictly on the performance where I thought that was a very charming performance What a cool lady too bad she died So okay then Samuel L Jackson uses the airplane telephone to call his FBI buddy on the ground This is Harris Bobby kind of Bobbyvale. Bobby Cannavale. And tell him that famous mobster Eddie Kim

put all of these snakes on the plane in order to bring the plane down to kill Sean so that he can't testify against him in court. Amazing plan. To which again, Bobby Cannavale has like absurdly no reaction to. Like he's like, oh God, that sucks. I paused his scene because we're told a bunch of like

Bobby Cannavale stock character information where they're like, he's addicted to porn, he hates his children. He hates his children. I paused his office to be like, what are we supposed to be learning here? He has like a bunch of bobbleheads of, I think one was George W. Bush.

I think he had the Declaration of Independence framed in his office. I'm like, what am I supposed to be thinking about this man? But anyways, I was glad he at least stayed in the movie because I thought he was just gonna be in that office and did all of his scenes in like 14 minutes because he's just pacing around being like, I hate my kids, I hate, like I love war

or like whatever the hell is going on with him. But at least he goes to a second location and meets like, I wrote down Snake Tobias Funke is what it felt like to me, but I don't know. Yeah, I see it, I see it. That guy is about to show up, but before that happens, the young mother knows how to suck venom out of a snake bite.

Oh my God. So she does this for that little boy who got bitten. Which of course has made a sex joke. Oh my God. Exhausting. Three G's entourage see her administering like medical care to a child and they're like. A child. Eiji's entourage see her administering medical care to a child and they're like, a child? Hubba hubba a wuga, I want her to suck me like that.

Meanwhile, this same character has refused help from a man he thinks is gay because fellas, is it gay to survive a snake bite? Like just really ridiculous. 2006 nonsense going on. Truly. So meanwhile, Bobby Cannavale gets to work on finding a snake expert.

This guy, Dr. Stephen Price, AKA snake expert, Tobias Fink, who figures out that there must be something provoking the snakes to cause them to be so aggressive. A pheromone perhaps, and I feel like he's like. It felt Jurassic Parky a little bit. Kind of, well, cause there's such an emphasis on like female reptiles, cause he's like, well, female snakes emit a pheromone

and it makes the males very aggressive. So it's like, okay, great. Blame everything on the girl snake. and it makes the males very aggressive. So it's like, okay, great, blame everything on the girl snake. Somehow became women's fault and we got there. Yeah, I think there's a concept of, I feel like it almost ties into like, and this is again, very cis normative,

but there are so many cis men who write these kinds of movies of like the gigantic number of pussy monsters we see in horror movies and just using pheromones, like female pheromones as a weapon also just feels very, like seems like more of a you problem that we see pop up in specifically genre movies a lot. Sure, it's like take the idea of the femme fatale, apply it to snakes on a plane.

Come on. And bam, you've got a movie. At very least a single woman fights a snake. Everyone else needs a boyfriend, but Claire, evil Zionist Claire does fight a snake. And then I, we'll get to the love story because I was baffled by that. I was like, I did not see that coming.

I was not, I was not into it. Yeah, I have a whole spiel on that as well. Okay, so the snake expert is figuring different things out and they need to find a way to show this expert what kinds of snakes are on board so he can figure out what like types of anti-venom to get. And there's a whole scene where in 2006 they learn how cell phone cameras and email works and they manage to send an email from like a Blackberry or whatever the fuck on the plane pre the era of planes having wifi

or anything like that. And also I'm like, I honestly, I couldn't tell you, but I'm like, I was unclear if the power on the plane was even working at that point. I think it wasn't. I think that the snakes had chewed through electricity wires. I really loved that plot hole.

I thought that plot hole was iconic. No accounting for it, 10 out of 10. Amazing. Then the flight attendant Claire discovers that the co-pilot Rick, this is the David Keckner character, is incapacitated and no one's flying the plane. And it's nose diving into the ocean.

So Claire and Agent Flynn have to step in and try to pull the plane back up, a la that scene from Minions 2. Exactly. Minions did it better. Minions had more chemistry with each other. Let's be honest. Seriously?

Yeah. Okay, so meanwhile, the barricade of like, just suitcases stacked on each other. Amazing plan, good job. You won't believe it, but it falls apart. Your tax dollars at work, everybody. And all the snakes are coming through and attacking people again,

including like the honeymoon couple, that mean British guy feeds Mercedes little dog to the snakes, but then he gets like. Mary Kate, I think. The dog's name is Mary Kate. I was like, it's just so 2006, it's exhausting. The, I loved the rich guy death where the snake, I mean, because it had been a while

since we'd had a good snake death at that point, I thought. It was mostly just like, oh-ee, oh-ee, oh-ee, and then we get the rich guy's swallowed whole via his head, awesome. By what I would call a big boy snake. Yeah, how's my big boy? Well. Well, he's hungry and he's eating the mean man.

I do appreciate that he gets like instant karma killed. Yes. Because he like feeds the dog to the snakes, but then he immediately gets eaten by. Very satisfying. Something, a boa constrictor, I don't fucking. I was like, could that have even happened? I literally do not know.

And I, it's none of my business. Yeah, we're not scientists. Okay, so then everyone finally goes upstairs to first class. Again, unclear why they didn't think of this earlier because that seems like a pretty good idea. It's been empty for like an hour. Yeah.

Then David Kector comes back to life and starts piloting the plane again. He's like, oh, I'm fine. Yeah, he's like, I'm fine. And then he's like, oh, you sure you don't want to take your top off, babe? And she's like, Rick, you're still yourself and he's like okay but then like he puts the play on autopilot why don't they just keep doing that I

don't know I I you know viewed as camp that is an amazing moment in the movie I wonder so ridiculous I wonder if autopilot is sort of like cruise control on a car. I don't know what autopilot does. Any listeners who know? We don't know. And including if Keenan Thompson's listening. Well, he is.

And he's anything like his character, if he doesn't know either. No, he doesn't. Okay, in the meantime, on the ground, Bobby Cannavale and the snake expert discover that most of the snakes on the plane are indigenous to other continents, which means that nearby hospitals wouldn't have the anti-venom for those snakes. And there's only one person nearby who would have what they need. So they head to that guy's house in the desert.

Back on the plane, this is when Grace, the flight attendant, dies. So sad. And there's a lot of very hokey, we learned this about Claire, it's her last flight before she becomes a lawyer. And Grace is like, I just had to do one last flight from Honolulu to LA.

I'm like, for what? But anyways, she dies. It reminded me of Captain E.J. Smith on the Titanic. That was his last. It's a classic, I mean, it's a good trope to be like, or whatever, like, it's my last case. And that's- Before I retire. Before I retire.

That's like basically what Grace is doing, but then she gets snaked. All right, Pete. Sad but true. And then we learn that Tiffany and her were really good friends, question mark. We do not see that. I would have, it would have made more sense

if the like male flight attendant was grieving her because we only see them together, but he, we don't really get to see how he feels about it. Yeah. Okay, we also see a moment where 3G's goes berserk and he's like waving a gun around, but he calms down and he apologizes. Also the air conditioning has stopped working on the plane.

Which is why he becomes hom agitated. Homicidal. I think it's like implied that they're maybe running out of air and he's a germaphobe. So like he wants fresh air, but he's like, I'm gonna kill someone if I don't get fresh air. You're like three G's. Sir.

Yeah, it's really goofy. And I would say it's extremely goofy in fact. I agree. Okay, so the air conditioning isn't working. So Samuel L. Jackson has to go down into the cargo hold to reset the breakers, which if your wiring has been chewed through by snakes, I don't know how,

it's not like they tripped the breaker. Resetting the breaker wouldn't do anything. Oh, I hadn't even thought about that. Well, in this world, it does. And this is also the moment where it becomes clear that he and Claire are vibing, question mark? It wasn't, because she was like, no, let me go with you. I was like, what?

Like, I thought it was more of a like a paternal thing, but apparently it's a fucky thing. I did not sense that it was supposed to be romantic until the very end when they're like, let's get dinner later. I have to believe that was added because it was just like the, no, I mean, you know, Sam Jackson, handsome, charming man,

but it just like, there was nothing planted that made that make sense. The age gap felt very weird. I was like, I don't believe this for a second. Who knows any way? Samuel L. Jackson goes to find the breakers in a scene that feels very similar to a scene in Jurassic Park where Samuel L. Jackson has to go

and reset the breakers. Oh my God, and it's also Samuel L. Jackson. It's also him. Wow. Although in Jurassic Park, he dies doing this via being attacked by reptiles. Okay. And in Snakes on a Plane, he lives

and the reptiles don't kill him. That didn't even occur to me. So that was a moment that was for the fans. And then snakes on a plane, he lives, and the reptiles don't kill him. That didn't even occur to me. So that was a moment that was for the fans. Yeah, I think so. I wonder if that was supposed to be an homage, but I don't know. Anyway, back on the ground,

Bobby Cannavale goes to the, like, snake smuggler dude to get all the, I don't know if they even get the anti-venoms from him, but they just get a list. They get like the plane. He literally was like, I need a list of the snakes on the plane. You're like, what?

And then the guy's like, I swear, here's the list. And he's like, all right, thank you. And then he's fine. Like it just was, I loved it thank you, and then he's fine. It just was, I loved it, I loved it. It was awesome. The Bobby Cannavale sections, and they gave him so many goofy lines in this sequence where they're like, what are you doing?

He's like, my job. And then he shoots the guy or whatever, and he's like, that's gonna leave a mark. And it's just like, Bobby Cannavale is just not scary. He's not scary and he's not cool, and that's why I like him. But I'm not sold on this whole hypermask, Bobby Cannavale, no, sorry.

It's not doing it for me either. But anyway, now that they have this list of snakes, they're like, everything's going to be a-okay. And so everyone kind of just like breathes a sigh of relief. The sun is coming up because by the way, this has been a red eye flight the whole time. But then they realize that the co-pilot David Kechner died again, and no one's flying the plane again.

No, again. But don't worry, in the Deus Ex Machina of the century, Keenan Thompson knows how to fly a plane, so he's gonna land this plane. But wait, there's a bunch of snakes in the cockpit, which is when Samuel L. Jackson says the best line in cinema history, I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane. And so to get rid of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking

plane, he almost kills everybody. And then goes to a safe area with Kenan Thompson, like he just leaves everyone for dead, including children, including a baby. Like you couldn't have brought a couple, you couldn't have brought the kids with you into the cockpit. They're like, no, best of luck. Yeah, they don't have the strength to hang on.

Best of luck in there. Right, because what they do is they literally shoot holes in the plane with Samuel L. Jackson's FBI gun, which makes all the snakes go flying out. Everyone has to hang on for dear life. And then Kenan Thompson successfully lands the plane, even though we find out that the quote unquote flight experience he has has all been via playing video games on PlayStation 2. So. And this is kind of a fun moment. Keenan seems to be having a good time, I hope so,

because otherwise, what is he doing here? Mm-hmm. Right. And yeah, they land the plane, just like the minions did in San Pampisco. That's so true, Jamie. Thanks. Remember when I said that at our show in San Francisco and it got less than nothing?

It was like just a black hole of reaction. If you're at that show... You should have laughed. You really let me down in that moment. That didn't feel good and I think about it often. I'm sorry. I think I reacted. You, oh you laugh.

I was like woohoo. Yeah, which almost emphasized how no one else was laughing because you said woohoo. But I needed you in that moment you were there. I really tried to be there for you. I know. Okay, well they don't land in San Pampisco in this movie. They, oh how would the Minions say Los Angeles?

Oh, I feel like they just be like Hollywood. So true, so true. That's where they land the plane. Various first responders are there to administer anti-venom and the survivors, you know, they safely get off the plane. But just as Sean, remember him? No, don't worry about it. but just as Sean, remember him? This guy who's barely done anything?

He's about to get off the plane, but a snake bites him on the chest, so Samuel L. Jackson shoots the snake slash Sean's chest, which is fine because Sean was wearing a bulletproof vest the whole time. And then he's now he's Tiffany's boyfriend. Right there's a bunch of like forced hetero romances at the very end including a huge big twist that Ken the flight attendant who the movie kept implying was probably gay has a beautiful girlfriend and he's straight after all. And everyone, like all of his coworkers were like, whoa.

But it was implied that they knew each other quite well. I'm like, how would they not know that he was in like a long-term relationship? Also, like this is way beside the point, but how did she get down to the tarmac? Like that's a good, that's a pre-9-11 thing. Yeah. Yes.

Whatever. Whatever. You know, that's a pre-9-11 thing. Yeah. Yes. Whatever. Yeah. Whatever. You know, that's not what this is about. No. And then the movie ends with Sean and Samuel Jackson surfing together in Bali, question mark, because that's what Sean had been talking about

wanting to do, the end. Yay! I loved it. I guess let's take it, we even took a break in an hour and a half. Oh my. We've been recording for so long already and we haven't even started.

But yeah, it's time for another snake break. ["Snape Break"] September, 1979. Virginia's top prison band, Edge of Daybreak, is about to record their debut album, Behind Bars, in just five hours. I'm Jamie Petrus, music and culture writer. For the past five years, I've been talking to the band's three surviving members. They're out of prison now and in their 70s.

Their past behind them. But they also have some unfinished business. The end of daybreak, eyes of love, was supposed to have been followed up by another album. It's a story about the liberating power of music, the American justice system, and ultimately, second chances. Listen to Soul Incarcerated on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I always had to be so good, no one could ignore me. Carve my path with data and drive. But some people only see who I am on paper. The paper ceiling. The limitations from degree screens to stereotypes that are holding back over 70 million stars. Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time for skills to speak for themselves.

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It all changed when I had this guy come to me. He said to me, you know, you're not Latina. First of all, what is that? I'm out in wide open. Yeah. History makers like the Sucar family, who became the first Peruvians to win a Grammy. It was a very special moment for us. It's been 15 years for me in this career. Finally things are starting to shift into a different level.

Listen to Hasta Waho on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports Network. And we're back. We're back. From the Snake Break. How is your, how is, how's my big boy? Your big boy? If you mean me? Great. Oh good. How's my big boy? I'm doing okay. I'm, I'm, I, I'm so I'm like we've talked a lot about Something movie. I don't yeah, I've like I it's like we're even to begin like is this movie Misogynist yes, is this movie racist? Yes. Yes. Is this movie homophobic? Yes Is this movie ageist? Yes. Yes is this movie?

Fatphobicobic? Yes. I can't really think of a single subversion that happens. Nor I. Most attempts at jokes in this movie are at the expense of a marginalized group. I think that the most extreme, the most frustrating example of that to me was the single woman of color. Yeah. Who we don't know what her nationality is,

but she's the only woman of color, she's over 40, so we're already like, this isn't gonna end well for her. She's not extremely thin, and so she's made out to be an alcoholic. Knowing that you're watching a snake slasher movie, you're like, this woman is going to be made to die in a very humiliating way.

And that is precisely what happens. She is ostensibly sexually assaulted by a CGI snake and then has her eye gouged out, ultimately. Right, even before that, so when she's like boarding the plane, three G's, fat shames her. And then also fat shames his friend, Kenan Thompson, and like talks about the baby that they would make together. Like it's just disgusting.

And then, yeah, she sits down, she takes out a flask and starts drinking from it. She's characterized as being so oblivious that she doesn't notice that a snake is slithering up her dress. And then she's one of the first people to die, not the first, but very gruesome death. And they really drag it out too.

Like it's multiple beats. We never learned anything about her. There might be an implication that she's Native Hawaiian. I'm not totally sure. I just, like, any negative trope you could associate with any number of marginalized groups is present in this, I think, unnamed character because she's also traveling alone.

Correct. I don't even know what else to say. I mean, that was like one of the things about this movie that I was like, this is like deeply gross. Yeah, for sure. And then outside of Sam Jackson, the only black characters that we get to know are a very broadly written rapper

and his two security guards. And so I think, I mean, I don't know, Sam Jackson makes one reference to race, not that I was like, I want this movie to have more commentary about race. Like, you know, I don't really, that's not the job of snakes on a plane, right? But you know, Sam Jackson is just playing

the stock FBI character. He, if nothing else is not defined by his race in the course of this movie. I don't think you can say that for 3G's and the Kenan Thompson character and the other character. There's just so many tropes present. It's mostly lazy writing. But even the later homophobia that comes up where I think that often, especially during this phase, I mean all men in film are very no homo, no homo, no homo during this period of film.

But I think black men specifically are often made to be, be made out to seem particularly homophobic. And so I, at least, and if any listeners disagree, please let me know. I just, it pinged for me that the overtly homophobic comments were coming from people of color. Because there was one muttered comment from I think the one Asian man we get to know on the plane get to know he's like coming back from a kickboxing

competition and then get the girlfriend that's kind of all we know about him and then and then you know we have one what is the other character's name I it's not fair to call him not Kenan Thompson Keith Dallas aka big Leroy, again just very lazy naming convention theater but he is so you know he's for some reason he's not fatally bitten by a snake. I don't know why some aren't some aren't. Well the snake expert really clearly lays this out Jamie where some of the snakes will kill you within minutes, others within hours, and even others, you can recover from a venomous snake bite with just a good night's sleep.

It's almost like whatever the script requires can be possible, but he gets bitten on his ass, and then there's this big homophobic beat of Ken, who's referred to in scholarly journal Wikipedia as an eccentric flight attendant, which I guess is that writer's way of saying queer coded. But in any case, venom needs to be sucked out of a bite, but he's like, no homo, like it, you know, it just-

The man can't do it, that would be too gay. Only for that character, that same character to hummina, hummina, hummina over, like you mentioned earlier, woman sucking the venom out of a child's snake bite. So, very bad, broad writing. Yes. Yep. Correct.

I would say the way that Hawaii is depicted in the movie, it's only for a few minutes, but all we see is like touristy people doing touristy stuff. There are, from what I could tell, no depictions of native Hawaiians or their community or culture. Not that we know of. Yeah. So it's just like a few shots of like tourists surfing. And then we get on a plane with snakes on it. But yeah, shit like that. It's shit like three G's grabbing a woman's boob to sign it, just like assaulting a fan.

And then she's like, wow. She's like, wow, I loved it. Thanks. Loves every second. It's so, it's frustrating, because it's nothing we haven't talked about on this show, but it is just like, it feels like everything, everything happens that could possibly happen.

And I feel like at least Keenan, I think Keenan's character gets a little more characterization strictly because it's Keenan. That was my theory, because Keenan was already a very well-known, well-loved personality, so I feel like they gave him a character because it would be a letdown to have Keenan talk. Because I mean, yeah, Keenan had already been on SNL

for several years at this point. He joined SNL in 2003. He had been in Good Burger. Yeah, Keenan and Kel, he's a generational talent. You gotta give this guy a character, but I think that the other, his counterpoint, Big Leroy, which I did not realize that was that character's name,

but he really suffers as a result, and they almost double down on all of these just lazy tropes. For sure. To the point where I think the last word we hear, that last line from that character is, my ass, and you're like, fine. I mean, in a different context, that could be iconic, but.

That is here. Not our one. Not so much. I also think the way that Asian actors were depicted was not great. Especially with Eddie Kim and his minions. Right, which is, it's like, I mean, I honestly have just a wild dearth of information about, like, I just have no interest in crime movies,

mafia movies, I know that, you know, mafia movies, people of all nationalities can be in gangs, whatever. For me, what was clicking more was that whenever you would cut to Eddie Kim outside of crime activity, he was like doing karate. Like it just felt very broad, again, very broad Americanized stereotypes around East Asian people

were being just randomly applied to these American characters. Like Eddie Kuehs from LA. I don't know, I just found it bizarre. Definitely. David Keckner's character also makes that gross joke that's both racist and disparaging of sex workers. Oh, maybe I missed that one.

That I won't repeat. Blink and you'd miss an offensive thing happening in this movie. I mean, also we've touched on this to some extent, but just the, again, the very horror movie, tropey approach to women, the only woman of color, and I can't even say we get to know, because she is mostly mocked in order to be established

and then is slowly killed in the most humiliating way they can think of. The rest of the women are blonde in different shades of blonde, and they are killed or not killed in the order that they display moral behavior, quote unquote. So the woman who is the blondest and has sex, of course, is the first to go.

Tiffany seems like she is only rescued by the fact that she has a boyfriend. I would say the same for the Paris Hilton insert character, like- Who gets damseled and then has to be saved by the kickboxing tournament guy. That's her boyfriend. Like every blonde who isn't killed is damseled at some point. I think the only woman we see fight back is Claire who is interestingly the only white brunette woman which is just like so over the top ridiculous.

It's also implied that she's the only woman with any ambitions outside of this because we find out she's about to become a lawyer. We know nothing about, which of course doesn't come back, but we're just told that. Pay off in any way or anything. But all of the other blonde women she's surrounded by appear to have either no backstory whatsoever outside

of being horny or privileged or being a mother. So just all of these very stock character tropey things. I wanted to just take a quick moment to remind if you were not aware of Juliana Margulies, I just like is just a very vile. You can feel free to look up Juliana Margulies Zionist comments if you would like your day absolutely ruined. Very unpleasant to see her pop up in any context. But as far as her character goes, yeah, it's, you know, I don't know, I'm a white brunette lady and I do have a rich in her life,

but so does everyone else. And even her character is just so, she keeps it together, but then she cries once and then that was another moment where I was like, am I supposed to think she and Sam Jackson are vibing? Completely went over my head. What did you think about that? I was just so not into it. I do think it's worth pointing out that so the end as we have hinted at there are several

Heteroromances that are just wedged in at the very end one is between Sean and the flight attendant named Tiffany, they kiss for some reason. And then he's like, yeah, I'll definitely see you later. Let's go out. I'll take you to dinner, blah, blah, blah. Now, normally a kiss like that would be reserved for the male protagonist and then some woman.

But since the protagonist, the Samuel L. Jackson, and interracial on-screen kisses were still not very common in 2006, there is this romance wedged in between him and the Claire character, but they don't have any kind of kiss or anything like that. It's just like, here's my number, let's go to dinner. It reminds me of, I think we talked about this originally

in Bad Boys, which I know is not a 2000s movie. Either that or Men in Black. Men in Black as well. True Will Smith movies. Yeah, where it's, I think that at first glance, it's like, oh wow, this movie showed restraint, not really leaning into it, but then there is the racialized aspect to it.

Yeah, I collect that as well. I and I'm not saying that that is not happening here. I very much believe that it could be. I just also but even story wise, it's hinted at so late in the movie between two characters who are objectively not vibing. I was like, you know what? I think they just like took, they were using Speed as a playbook.

Totally, yeah. And they were like, okay, Keanu, he's the cop character. There's gonna be someone on the vehicle, whether it be a bus or a plane, who is gonna sort of emerge as the like prominent helper woman for Speed, it's Sandra Bullock's character. I love prominent helper woman.

And then yeah, Julia DeMarcoly is kind of like CVS brand Sandra Bullock in many ways. Yeah, right. And then so she emerges as that character in the movie Snakes on a Plane. So it's like, well, yeah, of course she and the protagonist have to get together at the end, but they did nothing to earn that.

Like, yeah, any moments that they were supposed to be vibing, I didn't pick up on at all. And it's also completely unnecessary. Like the fact that it happens in speed, I don't even mind because I'm like, sure, I'll look at Sandra Bullock and Keanu Kiss, and they have chemistry. Well, I also think it is like, and it's clearly established early in the movie that they're attracted

to each other. Right, yes. That's important. You can't just, that is established. It's still unnecessary narratively, but you know. Totally, but at least you believe that the movie was building towards that. This happened so abruptly that I wouldn't be surprised to hear that that happened in reshoots

or like it was a studio note or something like that because it just felt, I thought about that conversation that we had around blockbuster movies being historically hostile to interracial kisses, which it just feels like one of many problems with that attempted relationship, because it's also so, it feels so haphazardly, just like, and here's this,

and you're like, we definitely didn't need it, but if it was gonna happen, why wasn't it established at all? Don't know. Great question. We don't, here's another, some other questions I have. Okay. Samuel L Jackson is describing a snake at one point to the snake expert and he says it's brownish on top and green on the bottom. Meanwhile the snake he's describing is so visibly blue and purple.

Meanwhile, the snake he's describing is so visibly blue and purple. There's no green, there's no brown, I don't know what. I didn't notice that. That's so funny. That's really great. That was just a little question I had. What was happening there? Another question. Okay, so the young mother with the baby who removes the venom from the little boy's arm,

she's explaining how to do it. She's like, yeah, you swish olive oil in your mouth to seal it from the poison, and then you suck the poison out. But then she just takes a gulp of the olive oil and swallows it. You'd imagine that she would swish it around and then spit it back out.

Like she just said she was going to do. But no, that's a mother's wisdom or something. Exactly, exactly. There's a moment where three Gs, he tries to breathe oxygen out of like the oxygen masks that drop down from the overhead thing, but it's not working because they're like, oh, oxygen isn't flowing because of whatever,

like the snake bit the electricity. And so the oxygen doesn't work. But then a couple scenes later, the little boy who had been bitten is breathing oxygen out of a similar oxygen mask. And he's fine. And he's fine. And it seems to be working. So they forgot that the oxygen wasn't working.

The rules of the plan are so all over the place because there's so many times where for the bulk of this movie, the plane is actively crashing. But if you watch the scene, the examples of there being even vague turbulence just happens kind of whenever. But there's other scenes where it seems like it's totally fine and we're having full dialogue scenes and the snakes are the problem.

There's like very rarely snakes and turbulence. I'm imagining because that would be too hard to shoot. But then like don't set the movie on a plane if that's going to be too hard to shoot. But Jamie the movie's called snakes on a plane it has to be. And Sam Jackson would not let that be changed. I know that had to have been hard. This, what are your other questions? I have, I only have answers. That was, oh thank you so much. That was basically, oh the flight attendant, Ken putting a snake in a microwave and says, who's your daddy now, bitch?

Oh yeah, and basically he presses like, I loved that. And it seems like he pressed the snake button on the microwave and the snake exploded. I was like, wow, that really was perfectly timed. How could he have known what microwave button would be like exactly three and a half seconds enough time to explode the snake? I did not notice there was a button labeled snake until I watched these like a few minutes of the CinemaSins video for this movie.

But in another movie, that would have been a hilarious joke. But that's not what this movie is, my guess is that was a reshoot thing. Maybe. Because what I think is, I don't know, this isn't like, a part of me is like, would this be a fun 16th minute? Because the way that like internet culture influenced this,

at different moments feels like, weird things like the Sporks joke feels very 2006 internet culture to me, of like random much? Sporks, like Sporks, bacon, mustache, like just all this fucking dorky hot topic bullshit from that period of time that would have cracked me the hell up.

Awesome sauce. Exactly, yeah, epic random bacon. Like, I don't know, Sam Jackson saying Sporks feels very 2006 internet bait to me. Little note, the snake button, I don't even hate it, but it is like a very specific kind of annoying. And it is interesting that, whatever, we don't need to get into it. But I did think it was interesting

that this movie got such buzz online that they literally changed parts of the movie in the hopes of converting this movie looks so ridiculous to I'm going to see it. Which apparently did not work. I mean, this movie was financially successful, but I don't think to the degree that they wanted because they were really pushing.

They published a book called Snakes on a Plane, The Guide to the Internet Sensation. They were really trying to turn this into a huge movie, which didn't really happen. Right, because it had a budget of $33 million production budget. Which feels high, honestly. Box office, it grossed 62 million, so it more a budget of $33 million production budget. Which feels high, honestly.

It grossed 62 million, so it more or less doubled its budget, but that was only the production budget. I bet they spent so much on marketing that this movie would actually be considered a big flop. Kind of, yeah, or at least a wash, because it just feels, I don't know. I was curious, because this comes at an interesting point in Sam Jackson's career, right? Where I feel like Sam Jackson,

for basically his entire career, has been a supporting actor, which I think is the unfortunate fate of many prominent people of color, where it can be very challenging to get a banner role. This, I was curious, I was like, was this supposed to be his big thing? The answer is no, because he's coming off

of his Mace Windu years, basically. He's just finished the Star Wars. He's just finished his Star War. Well, I'm impressed that you know his character's name from those movies, Jamie. I remember, weirdly, he made one of the bigger impressions to me because his saber was purple and I liked that and so I remember what his name was.

Boring character though. So boring. Because he was just in all the Senate scenes, I'm like this is so boring. Anyways, so I was curious why did Sam Jackson do this movie? The way he explains it, and I've seen this in print and in an interview, and I do believe him. He basically says like, it's a recession.

Like he said, it was the kind of movie I would have gone to see when I was a kid. I feel sorry for all those people that are going through the whole trip of, why would Samuel Jackson do something like this? And it's low brow, it's a movie. People go to movies on Saturday to get away from the war in Iraq and taxes and election news and pedophiles online

and just go and have some fun. And I like doing movies that are fun. Now the way he phrases it, we could take issue with, but I think he's basically just saying, I am not above doing an escapist movie because this is the kind of movies I enjoyed when I was a kid. He said in other interviews that I watched that he's like, those kind of tend to be the kind of movies I wanna do,

as movies that I would really enjoy seeing when I was younger and that can be Star Wars, but it can also be Snakes on a Plane. And when he phrased it like that, I was like, yeah, that makes sense. That's all I have to say about that. Yeah, yeah, no, I was curious about that too. And I was just like, all right,

either he just has a PR person who's insisting that he defend his choice to be in this movie, or he really believes that, I'm not sure. But either way, I was so delighted to see him in the movie. I also do appreciate, I mean, this movie is, not to drop the bit of the episode, this movie's dog shit, right? But it's fun, and it's campy,

and I always appreciate when an actor stands by. As I mature, I appreciate when an actor stands by. I think as I mature, I appreciate when an actor stands by their campy performance, but also who cares? I wanted to, something you pointed out to me that I didn't realize when we were talking before was this movie is weirdly high. I mean, not that Rotten Tomatoes means nothing, right? But like, why is it so high on this movie?

I was shocked. I was coming in expecting, you know, a 12%. It's the same. The critics score on Rotten Tomatoes is 69%, meaning of course that 69% of critics gave this a positive review, which is so much higher than I thought. And it's a rare movie that has a higher critic score

than audience score because the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes is 49%, meaning that only about like half the people polled or who said anything about it, thought that it was good. So baffling, baffling that 69% of critics were like, yeah, this is good. So, baffling. Baffling that 69% of critics were like, yeah, this is fine. I, it's weird. I mean, it just feels so like you would have to be in 2006

to understand why. I don't know, because it's like at the precipice of so many weird cultural changes that feel very kind of like hokey now in a way that it's like, there's early internet culture stuff going way that it's like there's early internet culture stuff going on. There's like still some, oh, something that I felt

very Bush era, not to say that this has improved in any way, shape, or form, but there was a moment where I think it was the Bobby Cannavale character says, there's just like this broad racist thing that said in the snake trailer, question mark, where it's implied that some of the guys snakes are from the Middle East. The Middle East is said as if it is a single country. He says the Middle East, that would make that snake illegal, wouldn't it?

It just felt very Bush era style racism. Like, the Middle East is a single place and everyone and everything from this single place is illegal. Like that is the logic that that line bears out. And then the guy replies, yes. And you're just like, this is fucking miserable. But then he changes gears and says,

I need the list of the snakes on the plane. And I'm like, and I'm back. And says I need the list of the snakes on the plane and I'm like and I'm back He's like give me the the snake manifest this literally the snake manifest And the guys like it's right over there. Like it's right over there like he's keeping it just Easily accessible in case this scene happens just absolute nonsense, babe the scene happens. Just absolute nonsense vibe. Yeah, I don't know. Do you have anything else to say? It passes the Bechdel test, if you can believe it. I famously, as per usual,

forgot to pay attention. So I was paying attention. It passes between Claire and Tiffany. It passes between, I believe it passes between Claire and Grace. It passes. I mean, I believe it passes between Claire and Grace. It passes, I mean, it passes between a number of, I mean, if we're, you know, sometimes it's women talking about snakes, you know? That's a pressing issue. Genderless icon, the CGI snakes. I was really blown away that I was like,

there couldn't have been more than three snakes on set. There were 450. Where were they? Where were they? Where the hell were these snakes? I only saw computer snakes. I saw one real snake. Then it makes you wonder about the ethics of that. I didn't do further research into it. But like many things with this movie safe to say probably not good so yeah I I didn't really have a whole lot else I did want to do more research about like would snakes behave this way to be like, baby help.

But yeah, I have to imagine that a lot of the way that snake behavior was depicted was inaccurate. A lot of how, you know, like, airplane travel was depicted was inaccurate. That I feel like we can safely say. That's, I don't think at any point in history how that's worked. Yeah, so, um, nipple scale, where we rate the movie on a scale of zero to five nipples based on examining the movie through an intersectional feminist lens, I would give this a slithery, slimy zero nipples. Didn't really do anything good. And it did everything wrong, I would say.

Yeah, I was going to say, I do want to just thank our listeners one more time for being so patient and waiting eight and a half full years for this episode. Yeah, that you've been begging for, yeah. We hope this met your standards, but please do not spare us with your criticisms. We can finally handle it. We're finally in a place where we can accept the feedback.

And with that, I'm going to give this zero nipples. It is such a wildly, but I would love to see this movie in a theater with you specifically. I think that would be so much fun. Maybe they'll re-release it in 2026 for the 20th anniversary. It sounds, honestly,

and if Sam Jackson still like stands by it-ish, let's just do it. Like why not? Yeah, I just, I had the best time watching this movie. It was awful. I'm so glad. I'm so glad to hear it. And listeners, thank you for your support.

Thank you for indulging us. I guess we shouldn't end the podcast. I guess we should keep going. Yeah. Actually, and do more episodes. We should go surfing in Bali and just figure out what happens next. Yeah. Yeah.

Happy April Fools Day, guys. Happy April Fools! It was a joke. Did we get ya? It was a joke. We got your asses, didn't we? We bit your ass. We bit your asses.

No homo. Like, so ridiculous. If you want to support us even further, you can subscribe to our matriot at patreon.com slash Bechtelcast where we we release two episodes every month centering on a brilliant genius theme and you get access to that plus the Beck catalog of I don't know somewhere around 170, 180 bonus episodes and it's all for $5 a month. Truly the sky's the limit and we've got serious ones, we've got silly ones, we've got, we run the damn gamut and that is the best way to directly support the show.

So if you're a fan of the show, we would appreciate it. And with that, let's get off this motherfucking plane. No, what if you shot me and I'm like, don't worry, I'm good. So I do like that trope in movies where it's like the last, you know, the last like, oh no, just kidding. Love it.

I do think that we should get off this motherfucking podcast and say goodbye. Let's get off this motherfucking podcast just for today. Yeah, bye. Bye. Bye. The Bechtel Cast is a production of iHeartMedia hosted by Caitlin Durante and Jamie Loftus, produced by Sophie Lichterman, edited by Mo Laborde.

Our theme song was composed by Mike Kaplan with vocals by Catherine Voskrasensky. Our logo and merch is designed by Jamie Loftus. And a special thanks to Aristotle Acevedo. For more information about the podcast, please visit linktree slash bechtelcast. What's up, I'm Laura, host of the podcast, Courtside with Laura Corenti, a masterclass case study of the business of women's sports.

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