The Bechdel Cast - Star Wars: The Prequels! (Episodes I, II, & III)

Episode Date: December 4, 2025

It's the Star Wars Prequels episode from our Midwest tour earlier this year! We cover The Phantom Menace (1999), Attack of the Clones (2002), and Revenge of the Sith (2005), recorded live in Chicago! Check out original videos we screened during the show on YouTube at @bechdelcast / linktr.ee/bechdelcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Do do, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do. do do do do do do it's our star wars prequel episode wow okay okay and that we did it we did it welcome to beep boop beep boop it is our star wars important caveat prequels episode yes if you are listening to this episode maybe you remember us talking about our tour that we took last fall where we covered all three Star Wars prequels in a live stage show, looking absolutely fabulous, I might add, looking really, really good. Or maybe you were lucky enough to get to attend and hang out with us afterwards. But we are releasing this to the main feed today because frankly, we don't

release live episodes often, but this was so much work to get ready for that we kind of refused to not have it publicly available because my god was this a lot of prep it sure was so this is the audio from our chicago show and during our live shows we tend to do a lot of like multimedia things so we'll do slideshows we'll do videos and so some of those things are too visually oriented to include in just an audio podcast so there are a few things that we cut from this episode that just don't translate to the audio medium, such as a video at the end of the episode where we do a supercut of all the times women interact in the entire Star Wars prequels trilogy. And there's also videos that we screen during the live show that you will hear the audio

for in the episode, which are the three recap videos that I edited. They're each about five minutes long. The point is, if you want to watch these, we have put them on the Bechtelcast YouTube channel, which we basically don't use for anything except for things like this. So the link for that is on our link tree. So if you want to watch any of those videos as sort of like a supplementary material for this episode, they live on our YouTube. But most of the episode is intact. So most of what we did in the live show is here in this audio episode. And we had a blast doing this tour. So for everyone who came out, thank you so much.

And to all of the venues that hosted us in all four cities, we are very grateful and just had a great experience. And if we did not make it to your town, if you don't live in these very specific four Midwestern towns for this tour, we have designs. We have designs in the coming year. It's our 10-year anniversary, so we intend to hit the road again. Stay tuned. Stay tuned. And in the meantime, enjoy this live show episode of the Star Wars prequels. Hi, welcome to the Bechtel cast, guys. How are you? Hello. we're so excited to be here we finally came to Chicago

sorry it took us so many years yes but thank you for being persistent and aggressive and we're so so so excited to be here it's been a long time coming we just came from Indianapolis now we're here we've got we've got well let's let's sort of introduce

who we got here obviously okay let's just like do a litmus for what a pack of fucking dorts you are do we know who this little king is here do we

Babu frick thank you yes that was a call and response I guess I wasn't clear this is my favorite Star Wars character you're not wrong I mean yeah I am right unfortunately I think 12 of these toys were ever sold

but his whole thing is he's a little guy Yeah. And he goes, hey. Hey. Who do you have there, Caitlin? Well, I mean, and you're going to demonstrate this better than me, but this. So this is Padmey Amadala ever heard of her.

This belongs to Jamie as well. I don't own any dolls, no offense. Okay. Awesome. Who are you? Anyone I've ever dated? Jesus. Okay.

Let me... Yeah, please. Please demonstrate. I got this baby on eBay for one dollar. Not wanted. But I misunderstood the premise of the doll because it looks like you get two dolls, but it turns out you get one doll with an extra head.

So unpleasant. I wonder why he was trying to get. get rid of it. It's so scary. It's really not a good thing to just like have in your luggage. It feels like you're chased. Anyways, okay, welcome to the Bechtelcast. Thank you for being here.

We're here to talk about the Star Wars prequels. Yes. Okay. But before we get there, we're curious, is there anyone here? I mean, we'll give it up if you're a regular listener of the show. Okay, we're in good company. That's just free applause. But give it up if you were dragged here by a loved one.

Interesting. Okay. Well, we'll see. Lock in. Because we have a lot to get through tonight. This is an important historical summit in which we bravely discuss these movies. no one has ever talked about before. And certainly not to death.

Certainly not. Who has done their homework and watched the movies? Yes. Okay. What a weird cheer. These movies are so polarizing. I feel like some of you were kind of booing them, but also confirming that you saw them.

Who has never seen the Star Wars prequels? Oh, wow, okay. Sweet summer children. There is. I was you once. Well, we're going to take you through all three movies, and we're going to sort of decide once and for all if they're any good. And actually, we kind of, like, at our first show yesterday,

we kind of were, like, getting into it. We feel differently. We feel differently. You and I, you mean. Yes, yes. So, well, Jamie, what's your? relationship with Star Wars, the prequels, etc.? I don't care about them. I don't care about them. I was, I grew up a loser,

but not this kind of loser. I guess the easiest way to put it. This was not my culture. I did not grow. I didn't, I don't think I saw any of the original movies from the 70s and 80s until I was like well into college. I did see though, I mean I think I'm sure this is the case for a lot of people here, Like, the prequels were what I associated with Star Wars, primarily. And I was like, not for me. I didn't, I had never seen Phantom Menace, but I do remember when I saw the Clone Wars at a drive-in with my family when I was little, it was like one of the first movies I remember

watching as a kid and being like, wow, I don't like this. Which is such a weird feeling as a kid. It would not occur to you to not like anything. anything. Right. It was, but yeah, I was like, wow, this is a bummer. But I kind of came around for episode three because I was, like, in middle school by that point, and they were doing this really, if you remember, like a really kind of aggressive, like hot topicification of Darth Vader. Like, they were like, he's got the broody haircut. Like, do girls want to fuck Darth Vader? And I was a horny 12-year. I was like, yeah, sure, I guess.

I want to fuck Darth Vader. So I, like, had a little Darth Vader purse, my little fascism purse that I had. And I was like, yeah, I want to fuck this mean fascist. Like, that was what they were, and they still kind of do that to this day

over a hot topic. So, yeah, I don't know. They grew on me. I will say, like, going back to watch them to prepare for this, I got way more into the particulars of the Star Wars universe than I ever thought I would

need or want to. And now I have become the fucking dork I once feared. Well, fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. And that is what it feels like to re-watch

this stuff. No, I actually, I am on team prequels, good. Team prequel's Shakespearean you know? Whoa. Team, my favorite thing in the world ultimately this is a movie about men being bitches

and I celebrate that Caitlin what's your history with the prequels I don't like having it near me it's so creepy it's gonna get me I grew up with the original trilogy I have been watching them

ever since I can remember return of the Jedi is my favorite because I love EWox, okay? And I was like, Empire Strikes Back is the best one. Shut up. It doesn't have EWox. And I was 13 when Phantom Menace came out.

I probably didn't see it until I was maybe 14 or whatever. I don't know. I don't think I saw in theaters because I was like, what is this? They look bad. They look like shit. What's all this CGI in my Star Wars? I don't want it. I don't need it.

I got around to seeing it. I was a teenager, which meant I had like just enough taste to be like, well, that fucking sucked. And I think I saw the other two in theaters, but I was a hater. I was contributing to the hate and the backlash, and then I didn't see them for, I don't know, 15 years. I'm curious, is any, was anyone here, like,

a part of the original prequel's hate squad? Woo! Yeah. Okay, you've made yourself now. It's okay. you guys were pretty harsh I don't know no they're well and then I

watch them again to prep for this tour and I still think they suck they're bad but it was like there was like a blood feud over this like weird old I mean not to defend George Lucas but he's a weird old man and there was a million internet users being like we have to kill him

we have to kill this weird old man and then he's fighted you all by somehow making an even worse trilogy later on. But if you hang in to Liyan, Babu Frick gets there. Oh, and we love that. I remember we saw episode nine together

and I don't think I had like, I had maybe seen the first one. I hadn't seen The Last Jedi. I was like, let's see, let's vibe. Everyone was booing. Everyone was upset. And I left being, I was just like, who was that little guy? I fucking love that guy.

Let me become his own. Only fan. Amazing. Yeah, so we have a nice variety of opinion. Yes, there is no wrong opinion about these movies, except whatever one you share with us at the merch table later. But in order to, we got a lot of ground to cover, okay? We're going to be talking about all three movies.

And so normally this is where we would have Caitlin's famous recap, and we do have it, but it's a little different. So I was like, if I recap all three movies, it'll take the entire show. So instead, I really pared down the stories of these movies, and I did a little video edit recap. So we're going to, we're just kind of kind of go episode by episode. So we're just going to start with episode one, never heard of it. And we're going to watch the recap.

Q Jar Jar. Okay, so the backstory is this evil, greedy entity in the galaxy called the Trade Federation is enforcing an embargo against the planet of Nabu. So two Jedi Knights, Quiganjin and Obi-1 Kenobi, are sent to try to convince the Trade Federation to stop the blockade. Lord Sidious, who is definitely not Palpatine, tells the Trade Federation leaders to kill the Jedi. Kill them immediately.

But Quigon and Obi-Wun fight off their attackers and escape to Nabu, where they run into Jar-Jar banks at a good thing. Meanwhile, Queen Amadala is trying to stave off an attack by the Trade Federation. But the Federation invades Nabu and captures the queen and her counsel. But Quiguan, Obi-Wan, and Jar-Jar show up to rescue them and convince them to accompany the Jedi to the planet of Corrassant. They board a ship, Artu Ditu is there, and they head toward Corsont, but their ship is attacked and damaged, so they have to land on the nearby planet of Tatouin. Quiguan, Jar Jar, and the Queen's Handmaiden, who is definitely not also actually the Queen, head into a village to try to get the parts they need to repair their ship.

There they meet Anakin Skywalker, who is enslaved by this guy, Waddo, who will agree to give Quigon the ship parts he needs if Anakin wins an upcoming pod race and hands over the prize money to Wado. But first, this small child hits on this adult woman. An angel. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe. Also, these two meet and fall in love. Meanwhile, Wyrgyzidius sends his apprentice, Darth Maul, to track. down Queen Amadala to kill her or make her sign a treaty? I don't really know. Then there's about 40 minutes of pod racing shit.

Like, Eichon knows the rest as well as his freedom. Quigon wants to take Anakin with them, feeling the force is strong with him. Anakin has a shitload of midi-chlorians. What are midi-chlorians? So Anikin says goodbye to his mother. Schmee Skywalker, and joins Quigon and Obi-Wan. Hi. Then Quigon, Anakin, and friends arrive on Corrassant

where they're greeted by Senator Palpatine, who is using Queen Amadala to weasel his way into being elected as the new Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Senate. Meanwhile, Quigon tells the Jedi Council, Yoda and Mace Windu, and this guy, and this guy's there, that he wants to train Anakin to become a Jedi.

But the council is like, ew, he's too old, and he freaks us out, and we don't like that he feels emotions. So everyone returns to Nabu. We learn that Padme is Queen Amadala. Ooh, Sadie. I am Queen Amadala. Jar Jar Binks and the other Gungans battle the Trade Federation and their droids who are attacking Nabu.

Anakin ends up in space and he blows up the big trade federation ship all by himself because he's so good at his midi-chlorians or whatever and it allows the Gungans to win the battle on Nabu. Meanwhile, Quigon and Obi-One fight Darth-Mall

but oh geez, Darth-Mall kills Quigon so Obi-Wan chops Darth-Mall in half about it and then Obi-Wan promises to train Anakin to become a Jedi He is the chosen one. Which Yoda and Mace Windu are not happy about

because they still think Anakin is a little freak. They also mention that there are always two Sith's at a time, and now that one is gone, another one will take his place, but who will it be? Give it for Gaitland's recap. Oh, thanks. Truly so much weird Jedi white supremacy in the first one. Okay, where do we start?

I mean, we already talked about how these movies were originally received. Everyone, like probably one of the most anticipated movies ever. And then generally everyone fucking hated it. If you were an adult, yeah. At the time. And then my favorite sort of back. and forth that I've noticed is that whenever someone's like, this movie fucking sucks,

George Lucas is like, well, it's for children. And it's like, well, it's 90% Senate meetings. So, I don't believe you mean that. I think you thought it was good. But there's a lot to talk about in this first one that like kind of

disappears in the second and third movies because it was so poorly received. I think the big one one of the big ones is the midi Chlorians thing. Which is basically just like space, eugenics. Yeah. Yeah, like you have the most Jedi blood. It feels weird.

It feels, and people didn't like it. And so I don't think it ever comes up again. They're just, they're like, he has the most next. I think the other biggest remembered, like, hated aspect of episode one is tragically and incorrectly, Jar Jar Binks. Yes. However, we are a pro Jar Jar Jar podcast. This is a safe space for Georgia.

He did nothing wrong. I really appreciate how Jar Jar Binks has sort of had like the scorned woman of the 90s thing where people were like we were so hard on him. What did we do? Meanwhile, all he

was trying to do was appoint a dictator. He didn't do it on purpose. I know, he's just a doofus. But there is a lot to talk about with Jar Jar and how that character has been interpreted and sort of reclaimed or not reclaimed over the years. And it tends to like split along these two stories that are like different but both important. The first is that there has been a lot of talk and analysis, rightfully so,

of how Jar Jar Jar's character plays into both really harmful racial stereotypes specifically around black Americans or just black people in general and then as well as really colonial stereotypes and kind of like the noble savage

he, you know, the first two guys he meets, he's like oh, I'm your servant forever now you know. Yeah, and the actor who played him Ahmed best, he He and George Lucas both were very defensive of this character at the time.

They're like, no, there's no racism here. What are you talking about? George Lucas, I watched all the, in my over-preparing because I've obsessed with homework, I watched all the behind-the-scenes footage of all the movies. And in the first, like, so much of the first BTS footage is George Lucas, like, looking to camera and being like, Jar Jar is going to change everything. he's not he wasn't wrong

he could not be could not be reading the room worse and then it's just like comment yeah like conversations with him and Ahmed Best where Ahmed's like

and this is where Jarjar really sort of starts to take his own narrative and George is like yes Jar Jar Jar is the best character I've ever written Hans Solo Fonded in a ditch

but unfortunately yeah I mean both the actor and the writer has have still to this day remain Jar Jar Defenders in spite of there I mean there's been a lot of writing and criticism of the stereotypes present in the character but the problem like is that it's not

I mean George Lucas did get blowback for Jar Jar but the kind of like abuse that Ahmed Best had to deal with for years yeah like it changed the shape of his life there was a podcast a couple of years ago called The Redemption of Jar Jar Binks very much something I would listen to. But it's sort of from Ahmed Best's perspective of how

painful that was, how he was sent death threats, how he really hurt his mental health, he had suicidal ideation, like all of this really, really awful stuff because not only was the fans not liking the character being pushed all on him,

the rightful criticism of the racial stereotypes was being put on Ahmed Best as if he had written the character himself. And so he sort of ended up taking all of this flack for it and it took years to work through it and it's still

I mean like he and George Lucas are still friends. I guess he's in the Mandalorian. He like plays a character. But yeah, I mean I think the Jar Jar saga sort of encapsulates how poorly conceived and poorly received episode one was

definitely in addition to that character there's a lot of there's been a lot of other criticism about the oh god who are these people the Nemoidean characters basically the leaders of the trade

federation that we see they have been criticized for being racist caricatures of East Asian people the Newt Gunray guy that's a character. We know him, right? He is played by

a white man named Silas Carson from England. And so he's not doing his English accent, certainly. Nor is the actor playing Wado. Nope. So that is a character that has been criticized for being

playing into anti-Semitic and anti-Arab stereotypes. And that is voiced by a Welsh guy named Andy. So. And we prefer Wado when played by Griffin Newman personally. Yes. So yeah, there are, I mean,

and these are, these persist throughout the movies, but there's a weird amount concentrated in the first movie. Right. That is sort of like dialed back on because I guess apparently like Jar Jar was originally supposed to be a huge character in all three movies.

and then everyone hated Jarjar and they were like never mind we're just going to have him appointed dictator and then disappear and then go to Padme's funeral spoilers oh my god it's so fun I watched I went I saw the re-release

of episode three and it's so funny when you're at this like really intense like moment at the end of the saga and it just cuts to Jar Jar Jar crying I'm gonna fucking fight in you there he's I love Jarger and Padma's friendship.

It's complicated. It's a complicated friendship. People don't understand. I would also say for the human characters who are predominantly white throughout all of the movies, there's only a very small handful of main characters who we would be able to maybe identify their name and recognize them when we see them a second time kind of thing. and it's pretty much just Mace Windu, played by

Samuel L. Jackson, of course. And you're like, George Lucas, how could you direct Sam Jackson to do such a bad performance? Like, what are you doing, sir? But he does suck in this movie. And then as he pointed out, in

the recap, I don't understand why did he have to be eight and her be like 16? What was the reason? He's a barber. He's a weird guy. That's weird.

I was thinking about this. And I was like, well, maybe it's because, like, they find the younglings when they're small children and then train them up to be Jedi. But why couldn't she be that young then? Like, what was the reason that she had to be twice his size? Also, because, like, Luke Skywalker trains. to be a Jedi, and he's like, whatever, 18, 19. I do, I do

like the scene where they bring the kid Anakin into the Jedi Council, and they're like, old, nasty, fucked up looking, crusty, like, and it's like, a kid. And then they're like, oh, you miss your mommy, you bitch.

You fucking bitch. Well, get over it. You're in the CIA now. It's so fucked up. But my favorite reaction, too, because even though people were weirded out by this age gap, it was not even in like the top ten issues people had at the time. But someone who did, okay, this is my favorite quote about this dynamic,

is what George Lucas's ex-wife had to say. Which is so fun. Okay, so Marshall Lucas, Yes, she is his ex-wife. But also, crucially, she edited the first Star Wars movie. She worked on the original trilogy. Sure, yeah. Woman, in a job.

In the 70s? It happened. But they split up sometime between the original trilogy and the prequels. And she, of course, went to see what that old dusty bitch George was up to. when the first one came out and she said the following. Okay, so this is from an article said George Lucas' ex-wife cried tears

of sadness at Phantom Menace. She says, George is in his heart and soul a good guy. I wish... Already, like, doesn't your body just seize? You feel.

I feel like you're at Thanksgiving. I wish he would have directed other kinds of movies. But when I went to see episode one, I remember going out to the parking lot, sitting in my car, and crying. I cried because I didn't think it was very good. And I thought he had such a rich vein to mine, a rich palette to tell stories with.

he had all those characters. And I thought it was weird that the story was about this little boy who looked like he was about six, but then later on he was supposed to get with this princess who looked like she was 20, end of quote. Good for her.

Good for her. I wish I could roast my exes on the global stage like that. That's thrilling. And she's right, she's right to say it. So Anakin is nine canonically in the first movie. Padmae is

I think 14 canonical then it's fine then it's fine although Natalie Portman was 16 or 17 when these movies were being filmed

so she's even older and it's like just it is very much a bizarre choice that taints the whole thing choice

anything else in episode one you wanted to touch on I mean I just want to mention Natalie Portman and her ties to Israel because she was born there.

She has dual citizenship between there and the U.S. She was raised in the U.S. She is like very like the liberal Zionism thing which is you're still just a Zionist. She has been critical of Israel in the past but still like defends its right to exist

and so she's a Zionist and we say fuck her. And fuck all Zionists. Best of luck with that mental illness she has. Yeah, I think the last thing other than fuck now like Corbyn Zionism

like scroll, scroll, scroll. So I think the one character we really didn't get to talk about who a lot of people remember very fondly from the first episode is Darth Moll. So true.

Yeah. Darth Mall, certified hottie, I think we can all agree. I think we might even have some, like, photographic evidence. Yes. What do we think? Do we think that the pattern continues on the whole lot? I will say I was looking for this, and I, this was, like, the, by far the tamest image I found. Whoa.

But I just, I found it so inspiring, Caitlin, that it made me want to. write a short story, inspired by Darth Mall being hot. Would you mind if I, if I read it? Please, I insist. Please, hold my Babu friend. Okay. Also, I bought this outfit, and it's like for porn, I think. I just put on a second shirt, because I was like, oh, this is a Padmei outfit designed for your nipples to be showing.

Okay. Okay, this is some erotic fan fiction I wrote about Darth Mall that takes place. immediately after he is cut in half and shut down. If I may. Darth Mall was having a terrible day. One moment he was fighting a twink and a twunk

on the edge of a precarious tower. God, how many times as he brought up installing a railing? How many times? And the next moment, he was at the bottom of the pit. and he had a tummy ache. Darth Mall pounded his fist on the marble floor. Before anyone got to know me, he said.

I was such a cool villain. He looked down at his body to assess the damage. How bad could it... Oh. Oh my God! Darth Mall was in fact cut in half. His lower quadrant lay in a heap beside him. His toes still twitching.

He tried to get a better look at his feet. top half and saw his little mall's spine poking out like a chicken drumstick. This is the worst day ever. Maul hauled himself up using his arms. Looks like all those days lifting with Darth fuckiest and took stock of the situation. He hadn't really meant to kill Liam Neeson.

He was such a big fan of his. No one would believe that, though. And Mal felt himself once again consumed by his imposter syndrome. I can't do anything right, he said, frowning like the emoticon. But just then, the echo of a familiar voice came from above where he'd just fallen from.

It was Obi-Wan's voice. I'm so sorry, Liam Neeson, and Obi-Wan whined from above. Not only because you died, but because the man who killed you, well, Maul couldn't help but hope. Could it be true? I have a huge crush on him.

Obi-Wan ran away, leaving Liam Neeson's corpse to rot. Maul shook his head. He knew it. He'd been having casual hookups all over the galaxy for years, but that one night with Obi-Wan last spring, that meant something to him. He knew Obi-Wan felt it too, well.

But for nine months, he'd pined. He pulled out his phone and read through he had Obi-Wan's last text Screw you, Obi-Wan had written a week ago I have a tummy ache, Maul replied Okay, Obi-Wan replied Mal reacted with a minions' gift Obi-Wan had gone silent

Then yesterday morning, Maul tried again Please don't be mad, he texted Are you seriously going to fight us, Obie asked Maul had written his whole text out but never had the courage to send it. The unread text said, No, I have feelings for you. I debated telling you for a while,

but I was scared and honestly thought it might ruin our friendship. But I have to be honest. Still, Maul couldn't help but remember how Obi-Wan looked at him. His thick arms with the, however you would describe the pattern. His tight little horns. Obi-Wan would have been so lucky. It didn't matter that Maul was in two pieces and somehow survived for the purposes of the porn I'm writing.

He looked fucking good. Beside him, Maul's bottom half twitched. He'd worry about getting his two halves surgically reattached later. At least his legs were still, oh my God. It was not Maul's leg that had twitched. It was. He dragged his top half over to be sure, rearranging the robes.

It was Maul's turgid cock. He'd be... It's always good to have the chance to use the word turgid. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it before. If the Sith were so powerful, why couldn't they suck themselves off? Wouldn't that be the first thing you'd do? with that kind of power? But no, Darth Sidious had said,

the Sith could never suck themselves off. It was a threat to productivity. Not today. Maul looked at his rock-hard peepy, which kind of corkscrewed like a duck's. He looked upon his menacing pubes. Sure, things hadn't worked out with Obi-Wan, but look at what Obi-Wan was missing.

out on. Maw's leg beckoned his top half over. And for a moment, he wondered about the ethics of consent. Then remembered and chuckled to himself. He did it. He sucked off his bottom

half. And he felt both of his halves surge with pleasure. He sucked his turgid two. Cork-screwed pee-pee. And then he

kept going. He sucked his own toes, admiring his sharp little toenails, his thick, diabolical thighs locked his own head in place, until his tight little horns drew blood. Far from above, Emperor Palpatine watched the whole scene on the galactic ring can. Good, he murmured. Release your anger. Even in the throes of passion, Maul still couldn't help but get a little silly.

Don't come yet, Darth, Mal. I don't know, I'm gonna come. He tried to hold it back, but his top half could feel his bottom half getting perilously close, when suddenly, Maul felt a sharp pain at the bottom of his top half,

the part he couldn't quite see. Oh my God, he said, trying to focus, but his bottom half seemed to feel the pain too. The sharp pain contracted again, again, and Maul couldn't help but think of Obi-Wan that night, nine months ago. Another sharp pain, and Maul's tummy turned.

Was that what this tummy ache was? Could it be? It could. Darth Maul was in labor. and the baby was coming fast. Maul's top half fell to the floor in pain, leaving his bottom to rive in agony. The contraction subsided for a moment,

and Maul looked at how tenderly his bottom half was delivering the baby. Maybe just one more suck. Darth Maul sat on his own face and took his pee-p-in-his mouth, even though the baby was coming fast. After mere moments, Maul's bottom half couldn't hold back.

He busted evil cum everywhere. Red and delicious. Maul was so enamored with the taste of his own seed that he could barely focus on delivering the baby. The baby. He's an Obi-Wan Kenobi's baby. As Maul choked and sputtered on his own delicious evil cum, as his own thighs choked his own thighs choked his,

mean little neck. His lover's face flashed before his eyes. How could Obi-Wan have ever let this all go? Fortified by the yummy bad boy semen. Maul's bottom half dismounted as Maul's top half collapsed in birth pain again. It was almost time. The bottom half couldn't speak, so he farted supportively as the top half pushed. I will never tell Obi-Wan about you, Darth Mole yelled at the sky. I will send you to a planet far away, where he can never find you. The last

thing Mole heard was the sound of his own child. He and Obi-Wan's child. Hey! The end, the end. Wow, that's really. What a twist. Have you ever listened to those true

true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this? How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet? Boy, do we have a show for you? From smartless media, campside media,

and big money players comes crimeless. Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists. And me, Roy Scoville, comedian, as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. We'll look into some of the silly ways folks have broken the laws.

Honestly, it feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Who catfishes a city? And meets some memorable anti-heroes. There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys. Clap if you think, she's a witch. And it freaks you out. He has x-rayed vision.

How could I not follow him? Honestly, I got to follow him. He can see right through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey, it's me, Eric Andre, bombing with Eric Andre and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and the I-Heart Radio.

We are back with fresh chaos. Our latest episode features Tony Hawk, Rico Nasty, Yamanika Saunders, and Derek Beckles. Here's a fraction of what happened. This is your worst injury in your career, correct? It's the most traumatic in terms of danger factor and life-threatening, yes.

What were the injuries? Fracture, skull, broken thud, Um, fractured pelvis. Look at your phone. Yeah, I changed my signature. I can tell if I signed stuff before or after that. You got health insurance? I do.

I'm not explicitly putting down what I'm doing on insurance forms. Listen to bombing with Eric Andre on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Bombing, with Eric Andre. Hey there. Dr. Jesse Mills here. I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health. And I want to tell you about my new podcast called the... mailroom. And I'm Jordan, the show's producer. And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in

many years. I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking, but aren't. Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone. Depends which bone. Well, that's true. Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health, from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom. You mean sleep? Yeah, something like that, Jordan. We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about. It's going to be fun, whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between.

Men's Health is about more than six packs and supplements. It's about energy, confidence, and connection. We don't just want you to live longer. We want you to live better. So check out the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. What up, y'all? It's your boy, Kevin on stage. I want to tell you about my new podcast.

A podcast called Not My Best Moment, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures. What did they mess up on? What is their heartbreak? And what did they learn from it? I got judged horribly. The judges were like, you're trash. I don't know how you got on the show.

Boo, somebody had tomatoes. I'm kidding. But if they had tomatoes, they would have thrown the tomatoes. Let's be honest. We've all had those moments we'd rather forget. It. We bumped our head. We made a mistake. The deal fell through. We're embarrassed. We failed. But this podcast is about that and how we made it through. So when they sat me down, they were kind of like, we got into the small talk. And they were just like, so what do you got? What? What ideas? And I was like, oh, no. What? Check out Not My Best Moment with me, Kevin on stage on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast.

What I didn't catch from this at the show last night is that it's Darth Mall's top half birthing, the baby out of his severed. Out of the bottom half. Large opening. Yeah, so, yeah, that is what's happening. I sort of, just to take you into my process, I had two ideas and then I did them both. Yes. I love that. I love that.

That was terrific. A round of applause for James. that took a lot out of me but i do think that we i think we're ready now for to examine episode two and so we're going to cross your legs change your pants we're getting back to business yeah um so here is my video recap of episode two yeah about 10 years of past since the first movie, there is about to be a vote in the Galactic Senate to create an army of the republic

to help the Jedi deal with a recent separatist movement. The movie opens with an assassination attempt that's made on Padme, who is now a senator, but she survives, and Obi-Wan and Anakin are tasked with keeping her safe, and Anakin is so happy and horny to see Padme again. then someone tries to kill her again but Anakin saves Padme

and chases down the assassin who's a woman okay feminism then the Jedi Council instructs Anakin to accompany Padme to her home planet of Nabu where she will be extra safe and they're kind of vibing

and they vibe some more I don't like sand it's coarse rough and irritated and they even kiss on the lips but then no I shouldn't have done that

meanwhile a clue from the assassin leads Obi-1 to the mysterious planet of Camino where he learns from this guy that a now-dead Jedi Knight had already commissioned an army of clones to be created to fight for the Republic and we're like Okay, I guess. Back on Nabu, Anakin casually mentions that he loves dictatorships. Yikes. Then they

return to vibing. And Anakin tells Padme that he loves her. She says it's not possible for them to be together. I'm a senator. Then Anakin has a premonition slash dream about his mother being in danger, so he and Padmay go to his home planet of Tatween to try to find his mother and discovers that she has been captured. She dies in his arms, which makes him so angry that he commits several murders,

and now he wants to become powerful enough to do this. I will even learn to stop people from dying. Okay. Meanwhile, Obi-1 ends up at a droid factor, where he's captured by some bad guys. This dude is there, Count Duku, the leader of the separatist movement, who has been building a huge droid army to fight the republic. So Palpatine is like, well, if someone grants me extra power,

I can approve the use of this clone army to fight Duku's droid army. And Jar Jar Binks, who is sort of a senator now, does that and gives Palpatine supreme power, and everyone is like, yes, exactly, we love this. Meanwhile, Anakin and Padme have received word that Obi-1 is in trouble, so they head off to save him. They get trapped in the droid factory for a while. Padme is really good at not getting squished, but then they're captured, and Padmae finally professes her love for Anakin. I love you. And then they kiss on the lips again.

Then they're put into a gladiator-style arena, along with Obi-1, to be executed by these big beasts. But they manage to survive and fight off the droid army with the help of some other Jedi who show up. Then the clone army appears, who I guess are the good guys, to battle the droids who are the bad, bad guys. Then Count Duku escapes. So Anakin and Obi-1 go after him once Padmei is launched out of the

climax of the movie, of course. And the Jedi fight Duku, Anakin's arm gets chopped off, Yoda shows up, but Duku escapes again and links up with his daddy boyfriend, Darth Sidious, and the movie ends with Anakin and Padme getting married in secret. and making out. All right. They really do launch her right out at the climax. Oh, boy. It's brutal.

We've noticed this for years, but she rolls out of a plane out of nowhere. And then Annegan's like, we have to go back and get her. And Obi-Wan is like, fuck her. We're going on. And he's like, you're right.

That's what God would want me to. continue to be in the CIA instead. I mean, this one is the boring one. This one is like, I think generally considered. Is this anyone's favorite of the three? Wow. Weird.

Weird. Exactly. And I love how adamant you were about it. That was brave of you to say. Yeah, this one is so focused on the relationship and then a bunch of senator stuff. so I mean

you've got Schmey in this one dying the most gnarly death and now I die so brutal and then you have like Anakin and Padmay and their relationship is just

baffling by the end of this movie like I guess I do like that the Jedi have to have like rat tails this is the one with the worst haircuts Everyone has a really bad haircut. Obi-1 looks like shit.

No offense. But their relationship is like, I mean, like you sort of get wilds, like they're reconnecting after the bone-chilling initiation in episode one. She's like, oh, you turned out hot, sure, we can hang out. Many of us have been through a situation like that. You're like, I'm just shocked that you don't look nine. I don't know. But like by the end, he has said,

I think dictatorships are worth a shot and he's killed like women and children after he finds out that his mother was taken prisoner by them and that scene between them is so bizarre where he's like I killed 40 people and she replies by saying

everyone gets mad sometimes and I just want her to walk me through that they don't know because they've been dating for like two weeks tops like she this is the time to step back and most of that time is just anakin like being really creepily pining after her and he said i just i wrote down a few choice quotes from him yeah um he says i've thought about her every day for the past 10 years um he says she covered the cameras i don't think she liked me watching her I like the one where he goes

she's not like other senators but he also negs her job constantly Padmey says don't look at me like that after he's leering at her and he says why and Padme says because

it makes me uncomfortable Anakin says now that I'm with you again I'm in agony the thoughts of not being with you I can't breathe I'm haunted by the kiss that should have never happened

you are my very soul tormenting he's so like my space coded that he communicates with others I don't this I think that this relationship is the best like Anakin at this

age specifically is the best possible use of the Boucher Miette Which, if you don't listen to the show, is a character that we're supposed to think is hot and cool and sexy and, like, la-la-la. If you replace him with current Steve Buscemi, is the behavior... Or Babu Frick. Or the behavior creepy. Hey! Is the behavior creepy?

And Anakin topped up... I mean, it's creepy when Hayden Christensen does it, too, unfortunately. But, yeah, the relationship's very, very bizarre. Yeah, he also spends most of the time complaining to Padme about Obi-1 Canobi. He's like, he doesn't notice what a freaking genius I am. Which this is like ties into, and this like peaks in episode three of men being bitches.

Yeah, we'll get there. I mean, I feel like I've known, I mean, this happens to people of all genders, but especially when a man gets hyper-fixated on another man and you're somehow catching the stray constantly about like, why doesn't Chris think I'm cool? I don't fucking know Chris isn't cool I don't know

Why are we talking about this I don't know It's just it's weird It's weird I think one of my One of my favorite moments Because in the first two movies I think Padme is relatively active

More active than a lot of women In sci-fi action were at this time So there's qualifiers But she does she and her handmaidens fight in the first movie. She is actively fighting through some of the second movie until she's launched out of a plane.

But she does fight in the big Jedi battle thing, but the thing that happens that's very 2002 is the reason that this is a porn costume, which is that she's wearing a full costume, and then some CGI monster passes and rips it right here. And she's like, oh, no. Thank God I've been doing sit-ups.

Like, it's so... It's so creepy old man wrote this line. Yes. But I don't know. Yeah, it's like there... It's not the worst movie for women, but it is the worst movie to watch of the three. Right.

Have you ever listened to those true crime shows and found yourself with more questions than answers? And what is this? How is that not a story we all know? What's this? Where is that? Why is it wet? Boy, do we have a show for you? From smartless media, campside media, and big money players comes crimeless.

Join me, Josh Dean, investigative journalists. And me, Roy Scoville, comedian, as we celebrate the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. We'll look into some of the silliest ways folks have broken the laws. Honestly, it feels more like a high-level. level prank than a crime. Who catfish is a city? And meet some memorable anti-heroes. There are thousands of angry, horny monkeys.

Clap if you think, she's a witch. And it freaks you out. He has x-ray vision. How could I not follow him? Honestly, I got to follow me. He can see right through me. Listen to Crimless on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

Hey, it's me, Ergondra, bombing with Ericondra, and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart Radio. We are back! With fresh chaos. Our latest episode features Tony Hawk, RICO Nasty,

Yamanika Saunders, and Derek Beckles. Here's a fraction of what happened. This is your worst injury in your career, correct? It's the most traumatic in terms of danger factor and life-threatening, yes. What were the injuries? Fractured skull, broken thumb, fractured pelvis.

Look at your thumb. Yeah, it changed my signature. I can tell if I signed stuff before or after that. You got help insurance? I do. I'm not explicitly putting down what I'm doing on insurance forms. Listen to bombing with Eric Andre on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Bombing, bombing with Eric Andre.

Hey there, Dr. Jesse Mills here. I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health. And I want to tell you about my new podcast called The Mailroom. And I'm Jordan, the show's producer. And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years. I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking, but aren't. Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone. Depends which bone.

Well, that's true. Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health, from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom. You mean sleep? Yeah, something like that, Jordan. We'll talk science without the jargon and get you really. real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about. It's going to be fun, whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between. Men's Health is about more than six packs and supplements.

It's about energy, confidence, and connection. We don't just want you to live longer. We want you to live better. So check out the mailroom on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. What up, y'all? It's your boy, Kevin on stage. I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not My Best Month. where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends,

people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures. What did they mess up on? What is their heartbreak? And what did they learn from it? I got judged horribly. The judges were like, you're trash. I don't know how you got on the show. Boo, somebody had tomatoes.

I'm kidding. But if they had tomatoes, they would have thrown the tomatoes. Let's be honest. We've all had those moments we'd rather forget. We bumped our head. We made a mistake. The deal fell through. were embarrassed, we failed, but this podcast is about that and how we made it through.

So when they sat me down, they were kind of like, we got into the small talk, and they were just like, so what do you got? What? What ideas? And I was like, oh, no. What? Check out Not My Best Moment with me, Kevin on stage on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcast, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast. All right, we've got one more movie to talk about, and then we can finally decide, are these movies feminist masterpieces? I don't know.

Start making your tallies. We're going to figure it out. Let's check out episode three. Yes. Count Duku is waging war against the Republic. The droid leader, General Grievous, has kidnapped Palpatine, who the Jedi and everyone else still think is a good guy.

So Anakin and Obi-Wan go on a rescue mission to save Palpatine, but first they have to battle Duku, who's a Sith lord now, I guess. And Anakin chops his freaking head off, but General Grievous gets away. So the hunt for him continues. Anakin reunites with Padme, who tells him, I'm pregnant. I think she meant to say, I'm Gregnind. Then Anikin has another premonition,

dream thing that Padme dies during childbirth, so he's distraught about that. Anakin is also growing frustrated with the Jedi Council for not making him a Jedi master and for their distrust in Anakin's best buddy Palpatine. Then Obi-1 heads off to find and destroy General Grievous. They fight for a while with various weapons, and Obi-1 eventually. defeats grievous. Meanwhile, Palpatine is like, hey, Anakin, maybe you should use the dark side of the force to prevent your wife from dying. I don't know, just a thought. And Anakin is like, wait a minute, you're the Sith Lord we've been looking for. So Mace Windu goes to

arrest Palpatine. But now Anakin is having second thoughts. Maybe the dark side isn't so bad so he lets Palpatine kill Mace Windu. Then Palpatine, who looks like this now, takes on Anakin as his Sith apprentice and tells Anakin they better kill all the Jedi, including children, and then Palpatine has his clone army execute most of the other Jedi, though Yoda survives as does Obi-One. Meanwhile, Anakin travels to a lava planet to kill the remaining leaders of the separatist movement. Obi-1 and Padmei realized that Anakin has turned to the dark side,

so they show up and try to talk some sense into him, but Anakin is like, no thank you, pass. So he and Obi-1 have a very long lightsaber battle. Then this happens. You were the chosen one. It was said that you would destroy this, then don't join them. I hate you. Oh no.

And Obi-1 is like, bye. and leaves Anakin to die. But then Palpatine shows up to save him. Anakin gets medical attention and becomes the familiar Darth Vader that we all know and love. And he's like, where is Padme? But Padme is busy dying during childbirth,

just like in Anakin's premonition. But the twin babies, Luke and Leia, ever heard of them, are born. And Yoda and Obi-One make arrangements for who will take care of them. the babies. And it all sets up the original Star Wars trilogy. Wee! The end. Great! One more time for Caitlin's recap. That's like forever. That was amazing.

Yeah. Thank you. All right. Well, you thought Pav May getting launched out of the last movie was a Grudius. What if I, okay, there's, this movie I do like. I think this movie I do like. I think this movie is the most fun because it's the most men being bitchy. It's the longest. I love how they're screaming

like Shakespearean sentences to each other across lava pits. There's a great line from Anakin where he's like, where Obi-Wan is like, oh, the Jedi, like, the Jedi are good, the Sith are evil. And then Anakin shouts from 40 yards

away, in my opinion, and it is the Jedi who are evil. And you're like, got it, cool. Just in case you had any doubt of where he was at. But, no, I mean, the fact that that whole scene starts by Anakin choking and throwing his very pregnant wife on the ground, Obi-Wan is there, and they're just like, well, time to walk around each other dramatically. She's good, she's good.

Don't worry about it. Yeah, it's not the best. We do, well, look at that colorful commentary from me. As you said, men being bitchy to each other is awesome, actually. I love to watch it. We've got bitchy Anakin. We've got bitchy Palpatine. Yoda is a huge bitch in this movie, too.

It's so weird, because it's like if you grew up with the original movies, you're like, this funny Muppet who has superpowers. But in the prequels I was like, Yoda is a stern bitchy 900 year old who thinks children are old and should stop whining for their

mommies. Yeah. Well that's the thing like and this has been discussed. There's actually a great pop culture detective video essay about this. But basically the like Jedi obsession with like emotional repression and since most

of the Jedi who we meet are men. We're like, yikes, this never ends well. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, the two sides, I think it's like intentionally done, but the two sides of this conflict, they're either like, men should compartmentalize their feelings to a degree that is unreasonable, or they should use their emotions

to commit violence against others. And there's just no one that has the happy medium. They're like, these are the two states. These are the two genders of man feelings. And it doesn't work out too great. As for our friend Pad May, she really gets the short end of the stick in this one. I think in, like, 80% of the scene she's in, she's just pregnant and crying at her apartment.

Yes. It's so frustrating watching this, because at the end, her, like, big last scene before she goes to the lava planet, she's, like, in the Senate, and she says that, like, whatever weird like she's like oh we had democracy and now we

don't like oh oh no shoot which maybe that line would hit harder if you saw a single scene of her going to work like ostensibly she hasn't been to work and I was like yeah maybe democracy wouldn't have fallen if you clocked in once or twice

yeah well I made a little just kind of like just reflection on what what did women do during these movies. It's not that much, so don't buckle in because it won't take long. Padmay, like you said, she does fight in a couple battles, especially the kind of like climactic, third act battle of the first movie and the second movie before she gets inevitably launched out of it.

But there's that scene in like the gladiator pit where she like saves herself. And I was like, what? I can't believe that they let her do that. They were like, as long as she's wearing a crop top, we'll let her do it. Yes, yes, yes, yes. She does a couple Senate things. What are they? We're not sure, exactly.

And then there's a lot of fridging in this movie. First with, like, Anakin's mother, Schmey, gets fridged in the second movie. And if you don't know what that means, it's basically a woman character. being killed off to advance the plot of the male protagonists, which is what happens to every woman in this movie. And they add the fact

that Anakin has, like, it seems like sometimes his only connection to the force is that he has a bad dream topless when a lady's about to die. You're like, his one force power is... You're like, wow, this is pretty useful. The women who I know,

they might die. I don't know. And then he always wakes up all sexy, too. Yeah. Mom, no. Yeah, so that happens. Shmi dies in the second movie to kind of like start to contribute to his arc to become Darth Vader. And then it really takes full form with Padme being fridged at the end where they're like, the droid is like, we don't know why she's dying. Oh my God, I love that.

She just lost the will to live. The medical, yeah, the medical professional. I mean, this is some times how anyone who is in a cis man is treated at the doctor, but they're like, they like, you know, they strut out and they're like, well, she's perfectly healthy, but she's dying, so you better get in there.

And then they're like, we haven't tried anything and we're not going to. To be fair, if I, did as much, like, ignoring of red flags as Padme does to Anakin, and, like, and then saw in front of my eyes him becoming a Sith Lord, I would also die. I'd be like, wow, she's dying of embarrassment. She's like, my husband's being so embarrassing. I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to join the force. I mean, look, many such cases. It happens, it happens.

So, yeah, that's, I mean, there is, okay, maybe this, this dumptails into something that, that I'd like to discuss. Indeed. Yeah, the only other thing I was going to say about it was just, like, other than those few examples we just listed, women are basically inconsequential to the movies. You have, like, a couple women Jedi's, what are their names, who are they, what have they done? We have no idea. Same thing with, like, a woman fighter pilot sometimes. there's like women in the Senate or doing political

thing but again like we just don't we know nothing we know nothing about any of them we know nothing but what if I told you I spent the last couple weeks reading 25 comic books four novels a million

Wikipedia pages and generally wasted a lot of my one human life reading all the one thing okay so this This is like, kind of like, it's cheating when there's like feminist retconning of an obviously not feminist franchise, but I like to watch them try. So I wanted to share with you, Caitlin Durante, and you audience, an argument for Padmeh being

a good character, maybe. Let's go, girls. Okay, we could do that. No, let it play. We'd like to sit in doing. At our show yesterday, that sound cue was playing whenever. It was starting in the middle of sentences way before it was supposed to happen.

And then when it was supposed to happen, it didn't. Okay, so I'll be as quick as I can, but I do need to justify all 5,000 hours I spent reading every single ancillary piece of Padmae content and there's a lot of it, okay? So let's go to the next slide. I am the Padmae Defender. I am a white woman with brown hair.

So it is therefore my duty to attempt. So let's first look at the next slide with the women we get in the movie and then I'll talk to you about what we found, right? Our first lady is Padmae, a queen who becomes a senator, who later becomes a fridged wife and a babyman. She dies for plot reasons. Next. Shmi, an enslaved woman who immaculately conceives bad Jesus.

And then becomes a fridged mommy, the handmaidens. There's a bunch of them, and they all look like Padmay on purpose. Look, there's one's head right over there. We see them die more often than we see them speak. Next, Zam Wessel, question mark. We know her. We know her. We love her.

In the middle of trying to find five women, I really started to struggle, which is why I'm ending here. Her? Who's that? I don't know. But maybe she was really important at one time on her planet of origin.

We'll never know. And with that, I wanted to go to other people that I would describe as her on the next slide. Her. So, let's just take a moment for her. And what about, and her? Remember her? And her?

Who could forget her? She's a little blurry, but we love her. What about her? Yeah, awesome. I think she's from a deleted scene. Her. No, she's a, she's pretty bright, her. She's hot, her.

Are they the same? She's, oh no, I repeat. I think that might be the same. I can't tell. Well, that's, if you go to, she's actually pretty important, if you go to the, if you click again. Yeah, she's important if you're a dork, I found out. And then, and then finally there's her. And so in a way, there's a lot of women, it's a rich tapestry.

So I wanted to, as I was looking through all of this behind-the-scenes footage, I wanted to see what did George Lucas or Natalie Portman have to say about the feminist masterpiece that they were participating in? And I have the information. Let's go to the video. This is my sexed-up version, I guess, of the queen. I got over the hump of 18, so I'm allowed to show tummy now, I guess. Okay, we can stop the clip there. We can stop the clip there.

And then Samuel L. Jackson's like, the love story is really good. So that is all I was able to find in a discussion of women at all in four and a half hours of behind-the-scene footage and featuring the phrase the hump of 18. Bone chilling. What's even worse, though, is in a movie that, Caitlin, you said yourself,

features at least a half hour apiece of ships taking off and landing. There were actually scenes filmed for Padme in which things happened to her. It drives me up a wall. In episode two, a really quick, We have a whole scene where we meet her family, we meet her sister, we understand her political motivation. She worked with refugee children when she was a kid.

That's why she wanted to be a senator. And then in episode three, even though we really only ever see her pregnant and crying in an apartment, there was a whole story there originally that was replaced with ships taking off and landing. Fortunately, those, we just couldn't cut it. But there is this whole story where Padmay, in the world of Star Wars, and I wouldn't have known any of this information with a gun to my head 10 days ago. But she is known as the mother of the resistance, right? Or the rebellion.

Because in this movie, she originally confronts Palpatine, tries to at least lightly push back on fascism and actually does do stuff at work. We just ended up, you know, George Lucas decided it was pointless. But you do see a couple of boring Senate meetings in which she is saying fascism. Should we not? Here's one. I can't believe it has come to this.

Chancellor Palpatine is one of my oldest advisors. He served as my ambassador when I was queen. Senator, I fear you underestimate the amount of corruption that has taken hold in the Senate. Okay. In the next clip, we meet another senator who I wish we got in the movies. I like to call him the Australian guy. We cannot let this turn in. into another war.

Absolutely, that is the last thing we want. We are hoping to form an alliance in the Senate to stop the Chancellor from further subverting the Constitution. That's all. I know a Jedi I feel we should consult. There will be dangerous. We don't know how the Jedi fit into all this. I only wish to discuss this with one.

One I trust. Going against the Chancellor without the support of the Jedi is risky. The Jedi are not any happier with the situation than we are. patient senator we have so many senators on our side surely that will persuade the answer okay let's stop it there

you're like who the hell is that and the final scene I wanted to share is when she confronts Palpatine directly and don't worry the Australian guy is there too you are pursuing a diplomatic

solution to the war then You must trust me to do the right things, Senator. That is why I am here. I've said. You can stop there. Okay, so really quickly, into the Padme verse. I want to talk about the handmaidens. They are the interchangeable doubles.

So some of them are also played by very famous actors. First, we have Saabe, played by Kieranightly. canonically Sabe is Padme's best friend she eventually quits the job with Padme and goes on to liberate slaves on Tatooine where Anakin is from and then when Padmay dies she infiltrates Darth Vader's posse

and pretends to be Padme's ghost so she's really she's a cool character let's mix the naming convention up shall we just kidding Rabbe Rabe, she is sort of the fashion girl of the group. She designs those cool, hot topic robes. Who else do we have?

Yane, of course. A canonically gay character who marries. Saucce, isn't that fun? Good for them. Two identical women married. Great. And then finally, played by Rose Byrne, we have Dorme, who joins Padme when she is a senator.

Now, you might be looking at Satchay and be like, that's a familiar face. Who the hell is that? Well, that is Sophia Coppola. That is, in fact, Sophia Coppola. If you go, again, she is, that is her in the Phantom Menace. And if you're wondering, does she remember doing that? No, she doesn't.

Remember, she had to be reminded. Like we were saying, there are, we see the handmaidens die more frequent. Then we see them do stuff on screen. So I just wanted to talk about the two who die. Those are Corday and Versa. Corday gets a nice death moment. Padme is like, oh, girl, sorry, right?

Meanwhile, there is another one who dies. Padme does not seem concerned about it. I don't know what she did. All right, let's pivot to talk about Schmey. Really quickly, I want to just say, Schme was almost played by Bjork. That would have been cool. army of Schme

Bjork joke so Schmey's character is also feminist retconned in these books we turn her into in the next slide a woman in STEM because there is exactly one shot where Schmee is near a computer chip

and so this poor author was like okay okay we can do this and in the expanded universe she develops technology that ends up disabling tracking devices and freeing enslaved people. In the movie, she just

dies. Last thing is Saabe, so like I was saying, that's her pretending to be Padme's ghost, and she almost kills Darth Vader, but then she's like, I think he's kind of nice. Sort of where that ends. There's other weird Padme stuff.

There's this comic book where Padme is with Jar Jar. And there's a lot of jokes about her looking at his But in conclusion, in conclusion. Look, the people are still thinking about these women for a reason. And for those, there are feminist retcon stories everywhere for those with eyes to see. And so I wanted to share my discoveries and argue that Padme is a good character actually concluded. Done.

Wow. So, have I convinced you? No. Oh, good. 4,000 hours well spent. I mean, it's nice that there's all that extra ancillary, like, material about her. But as far as what we get in the movies, which is what, like, most people have consumed. Yeah.

It's not. And I feel like that's what happens in almost, like, every single. single big franchise is like it's very very bland and vanilla and then any of the stuff that is inclusive of not white guys is like a comic book that 12 people have read

just so they can be like well no you have to really dig you know so anyways yeah she is a feminist legend and we miss her we miss her so much it's too bad she died due to complications of will to live

Losing the will to live But the most important I mean the question Not the most, one of the least important question we talk about at this show Is do these movies pass The Beftal Test? That is such a good question

I know Here's what I have done I've edited another little video And this is A Supercut Oh, there's music It's good, let it keep going Another haunted sound cute

So basically I did a supercut of not even all the times the movie passes the Bechtel test. These are just the moments in these movies, all three of them, where women interact. And so let's take a look at what that looks like. So this is where we're ending the live show portion

of the episode. If you do want to watch that video of the super cut of all the times women interact in the prequels trilogy, again that's on our YouTube channel. You can find the link to that at Linktree slash Bechtelcast. Either way, we concluded that the entire trilogy does not pass the bechdel test.

And even if it does kind of technically pass, it still basically doesn't, at least not spiritually. So if you can believe it, a Star Wars movie doesn't pass the Bechal test. However, our nipple scale, where we rate the movie or the trilogy on a scale of zero to five nipples, examining it through an intersectional feminist lens. Based on everything you heard us talk about in the live show, I'm going to go ahead and give this a half nipple. I don't think it deserves any more than that. I'm also going to give it a half nipple in spite of the fact,

as I talked about in the, you know, all the things I like about the prequels are not text to the prequels. So shout out to the various authors that have in the, you know, two decades since these movies came out. Fleshed characters out that people were interested in. George Lucas did not do that. And I, you, I don't believe that he would have ever intended that. So sorry, pepaw. It's going to be a half-knit-full. Yeah, exactly. And then we ended the live show with a, I would say, very well choreographed, lightsaber battle between the two of us. it was special effects amazing technology high and by that I visually stunning we looked great

we had lightsabers and we found out that they went beer and everything so if you if you were there you can attest that it was earth shaking it was beautiful it was incredible earth shaking Nabu shaking, Tatooine shaking, I could go on. Nabu is never the same after what we did. Which is just another reason to come to our live shows when we come to your town, which we very may well next year. And with that in mind, if you are a fan of the show and want more of the show and are not currently a member of our Patreon, aka Matrion,

we do tend to release tickets and show dates a little earlier over on the Matrion. to give matrons a first shot at getting tickets as well as often we will release discount codes as well as if you come to our merch table which we run by ourselves DIY ever heard of it matrons get bonus buttons at our merch table so come and get some cool stuff that's at patreon.com slash pectalcast five bucks a month is going to get you two bonus episodes access to our 200 episode back catalog and um you know, access to the community announcements and the community in general. Indeed.

And thank you again to everyone who came out to the live shows on this tour. Thank you again to the venues for having us. So shouts out to the Fountain Square Theater in Indianapolis as well as Let's Fest because our Indianapolis show was a part of Let's Fest comedy festival. So thank you to them for having us. thanks to the Den Theater in Chicago, the Burr Oak in Madison, and the Dudley-Riggs Theater in Minneapolis. And with that, shall we go have another lightsaber battle where we almost kiss, which is what happened on stage? But this time, let's do it. The curbaiting allegations, we're not beating them.

Bye. Bye. The Bechtelcast is a production of IHeartMedia, hosted and produced by me, Jamie Loftus. And me, Caitlin Durante. The podcast is also produced by Sophie Lichtenen. And edited by Caitlin Durante. Ever heard of them? That's me. And our logo and merch and all of our artwork, in fact, are designed by Jamie Loftus, ever heard of her? Oh my God. And our theme song, by the way, was composed by Mike Kaplan. With vocals by Catherine Voskrasinski.

iconic and a special thanks to the one and only Aristotle Acevedo. For more information about the podcast, please visit Linktree slash Bechtelcast. I'm investigative journalist Melissa Jeltsin. My new podcast, What Happened in Nashville, tells the story of an IVF clinic's catastrophic collapse and the patients who banded together in the chaos that followed. It doesn't matter how much I fight. It doesn't matter how much I cry over all of this. It doesn't matter how much justice we get.

None of it's going to get me pregnant. Listen to what happened in Nashville on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Eric Andre. You won't believe what happened on the latest episode of bombing with Eric Andre. First time I tried to land 900, I fell forward, broke my rib, and I was late to pick up my son at preschool. Wow. Our latest episode features Tony Hawk, RICO Nasty, Yamanika Sussie. Sanders and Derek Beckles. Listen to bombing with Eric Andre on the Iheart radio app, Apple

podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Bombing, bombing with Eric Andre. Hey there, Dr. Jesse Mills here. I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA, and I want to tell you about my new podcast called The Mail Room. And I'm Jordan, the show's producer. And like most guys, I haven't been to the doctor in way too long. I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking, but aren't. Every week, we're breaking down the world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility. We'll talk science without the jargon and get your real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about. So check out

the mailroom on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows. What up y'all? It's your boy, Kevin on stage. I want to tell you about my new podcast called Not Not My Best Moment, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures. What is it? did they mess up on? What is their heartbreak? And what did they learn from me? I got judged horribly. The judges were like, you're trash. I don't know how you got on the show. Check out Not My Best Moment with me, Kepp on stage on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast. This is an IHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.