The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - 4 Weddings & a Funeral with Joe & Kendall, Heather Martin and Krystal Nielsen

Episode Date: July 25, 2019

Ashley is letting you inside during a bachelor nation dinner party as we hang out with Bachelor Nation pals on this special bonus episode. Joe & Kendall give us an update on their life since moving in together and we find out if they’d ever object at a wedding! Heather M “never been kissed” from Colton’s season fills us in on her life after the show and which is better for an altar kiss at a wedding: a peck or a makeout session? We celebrate Four Weddings and a Funeral as Ashley lets us in on who is officiating her wedding! Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is the Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous Podcasts with IHartRadio. Hey, guys. Welcome to the third almost famous podcast without Ben Higgins. Sorry, guys. This will happen with me. I hope you guys miss me in a couple weeks when Jared and I are away for our wedding and our honeymoon. By the way, Jared's here. And I was just about to introduce you.

I know, I'm kind of ruining the surprise. I'm sorry that I'm replacing Ben Higgins. I feel like Ben's like a Mercedes and I'm kind of like a, you know, like a Toyota Corolla. Jared, I'll get you from A to B, but I'm not going to be as sexy as Ben when he does it. Jared, come on now. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit. Or maybe I'm overrating myself. Jared, you are a Rolls-Royce.

Well, you have to say that. You're marrying me. You don't want to marry a Toyota Corolla. A range rover. A range rover. How about a land rover discovery? Jared prefers land rovers over range rovers. This is his new car ever since we got.

It's the dream car. Enterprise rental. It's the hashtag goals. It is his goals. But I'm like, I heard that these land rovers and range rovers don't last very long. Yeah, which is quite unfortunate. Like 50,000 miles. If you guys are car experts out there, let us know.

Well, anyway, the reason that we are. recording this episode without Ben. I can talk about Land Rovers for days. Okay, moving on. We are doing this bonus episode because we are having the most luxurious, like, most hauli, I feel like I'm in, I feel like I'm in big little lies right now. I'm currently drinking a glass of champagne as we speak. Because like it's so luxurious and so posh.

We're at this beautiful art, Jared, in my ultimate decor'd house right now. It's like our HDTV dream. home heart reached out perfection i don't even know how to describe it it's just an overload of perfection it's all like jared and i want to make our house kind of like craftsman craftsmitty modern but not like too modern like clean but warm uh we have we're in this house where it's got like um what that's called like what's called ceilings no you're pointing up The wood things. Panels?

Oh, beams, beams. There's beams. It's an odd shaped curvature. That's a weird thing to choose out. This house is awesome. It's got beams. Jared, beams are beautiful. You know you like.

But there's also a fireplace right there that you didn't even. That's not that up. That's not super unique. Anyway, I like fire. Welcome to our lives. This is the Ashley and Jared show. And we're just talking the way that we talk on mic or off. Well, we are talking about weddings.

is so should we just start like let me start kind of fresh right now and saying we are all gathered at this very beautiful beverly hills mansion with a lot of our bachelor friends right now because hulu has put together this amazing um we're calling it a summer sorway surrey for us in celebration of their new rom-com esk mindy kaling produced show four weddings and a funeral they thought of all podcasts who is like who's related who can relate to this show the most and it is the almost famous podcast because four weddings and a funeral so it's kind of like every year on the bachelor we get like four engagements and we get well we get more than one funeral we get a couple funerals usually the funerals last in the final four feels like a funeral oh I was going to say like the ones that like continuously get out of a show or without a significant other, kind of like me, for a while. I'm talking about it. You're engaged. I don't mean now. I mean, like, I used to be the funerals. Or we could, so, I was going to say, I guess Nick would be the most polarizing one.

Oh, man, Nick is probably the ultimate funeral. It's really, it's really, it's, yeah. He's the bachelor funeral. No. Come up with another one. Another, oh, God. Annalise is at the table behind us I would say

Oh, Annalise She's so sweet Poor girl I'd say Bikowski Not in a bad way Just because Backelski Is obviously a prominent name right now He's back on Paradise

He's had a few shots He did retire He came out of retirement for this season He's kind of like Jordan Come back with the 4 or 5 Which if you guys don't remember Jordan wore the number 45 When he came back from retirement

And then went back to his traditional 23. I know I'm really catering to our bachelor audience by talking about 90s NBA basketball. Yeah. So we are here in celebration of four weddings and a funeral. Again, it is a Mindy Kaling produced TV show and it's on Hulu. And I'm very excited about it coming out. I did get to see a little sneak peek. It's really good. If you like, you know. Mindy Kalen. Well, yes. Every girl I feel like of the millennial generation relates to Mindy in some way. That's why I said it. Yeah. Okay. If you like her, you're going to like this show. And everybody likes her.

Hi, I'm cute. I'm funny. I'm awkward. I'm quirky. I'm really unlucky in love. She's the best. This show is really fun. And a lot of it has, the first episode that I got to see revolves around a wedding.

And one of the speeches at the wedding was totally butchered, as I feel like a lot of them are. Jared and I found out some information this week about the speeches that are. wedding and we would like to regale you with this tail and we would like your feedback and if you have passionate feedback you should email my sister because she's the center of the problem well pretty much story goes uh ashley's sister lauren is the maid of honor obviously she has to give a speech to the wedding because that's what made of honors do she hates public speaking and so now we're kind of a little bit of an conundrum because she's very nervous and unsure if she wants to do that the wedding or the rehearsal dinner tell us tell her what she told our wedding winner well we have

It could have also been the telephone effect. So we found out this information from our wedding planner. And we guys, we know how this works. One person tells somebody something and then it gets turned into a different thing. And then they tell them something different. Anyway, point is from what we heard, she, Ashley's made of honor, wants to do a speech at the rehearsal dinner and not the wedding because it's a more intimate, smaller setting. She's going to feel more comfortable giving a speech rather than in front of, you know, potentially 175-ish people. where half of them she might really not know who they are

because it might be my side of the family who she has not met yet. Yeah, but I actually find it less nerve-wracking to talk in front of people I don't know. A room of people I don't know is less nerve-wracking than a whole bunch of people I really care about. Wouldn't you think?

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know, that's a good question. I'm trying to think of high school, but I guess that's a bad comparison. Yeah, I don't know. The classes that I felt like the closest to I'd sometimes get the most nervous with because if I didn't really have a connection with them

I'd assume that they weren't even listening but I do think a wedding is a little different in that case. And also my friends were far more torturous in high school. You know, my guy friends would just make fun of me for anything. Now my friends are far more supportive so I'd rather give a speech in front of them because they would just tell me it's good even if I butchered it just to try to be nice.

But back in high school, even if I killed the speech, they'd be like, bro, you sucked. Really? Yeah, you know, it's high school. That's high school boys. Girls don't do that. Anyway, so this is just like something that I have been obviously sort of dreaming of my whole life. Like my sister and I have always joked about giving speeches at each other's weddings.

And we've always honestly joked about Lauren's stage fright or public speaking fear. What happens if you're not Lauren's made of honor? Jared, that's the weirdest thing I've ever heard you say. I was just thinking about that. How awkward would it be if you made Lauren, you're made. of honor. And then the past couple of years, Lauren was like, you know what? I want somebody else. Jared, that's like, I'm going to cry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. The weirdest thing you've ever said. I'm just thrown out. You guys, if you like follow my life to any degree and because you

listen to this podcast, I feel like you may, you know how close I am to my sister. We've lived together for many years. In fact, she just lived with Jared for the past year. Yeah. And you saw us on Paradise together and you see how close we are. We have a podcast. We are like Siamese twins. What if she wants me to be her maid of honor? You know, like that Patrick Dempsey movie? Dempsey, excuse me. I knew that.

What was that called? Made of honor, but it was spelled M-A-D-E. Not, yes, it was. I will bet $10,000. Made of honor, M-A-D-E? Yes. All right, fine. I'm not even wagering on this because you might be right.

Well, that's not fun. Made of honor. It's made of honor. M-A-D-E. All right. Feeling good. feeling strong guys okay anyway so i've always joked i how many times do i say anyway i've always joked about my sister being nervous my friends and i have always talked about how like somebody else

was going to have to read her speech at my wedding but now she goes to our wedding planner and she's like um so i'm trying to get out of giving the i don't think it went down that way let's not throw over the bus i don't think it did either but that's what he made it seem like a couple days ago and i was like, Troy, let's not be dramatic. No, because then we'd have to get a replacement. It's just, come on now. It would be weird if she didn't. She'll suck it up.

I guess my question for you guys listening is my sister says that her having to give a speech to the reception is going to ruin her entire day and she's not going to be able to focus on anything else until it's over. Should I just allow her to do it at the reception? Or should I allow her to do it at the rehearsal dinner? Should I make her do it at the reception? Or do we kind of find this happy medium. like she records her speech or she lip sings her speech.

I know that people are going to really hate me right now, but that's okay. She has to do it. I think she has to do it too. Because I know everybody's going to say that Lauren should feel comfortable and don't make her do anything that she doesn't want to do. Fair enough, I understand that. But at the end of the day, sometimes you suck up your own pride or insecurities to do something for somebody that's very important in your life on one of the most important days of their

life and not for me she's not doing it for me or anybody else except for you yeah you know i don't even know we're really dramatizing no we really are you don't even know if she doesn't want to do it at the wedding we're just creating storylines right now what if she objects when i before i say i do actually Jared okay that's a that's a question for the next topic i want to finish this out by saying i think it's like my sister is not a shy person at all she's super outspoken and blunt and funny and you know like she doesn't hide in the shadows she doesn't come across as a nervous person so that's why i feel like i don't even believe her fear public speaking because i'm like lauren you're just like you're very out she's not outgoing but you know

she's not afraid to talk to people no i agree i'm just thinking of people that would object before we say i do okay we'll move on to this now i was thinking Dean would do it just to mess things up just to just to do it didn't he say that the other day I'm going to do it just for like giggles yeah I don't think he'll actually do it but I think there's a part of them that might just yell it and then he'll smile and all be forgiven no I know I agree if anything well I guess we can tell we should we break some news should we break some news about our efficient um probably I will I will I will say I will I will tease it a bit so because it is What is it today's day?

July. Well, let's not give the exact date away. No, we are recording this right now. No, no, Jared. We're recording this right now on July 23rd. And that's why I'm telling people why we have to make this. We made this decision. I mean, listen, we've talked a lot about it a lot,

having Tanner officiate our wedding, because he's been very close to both of us and been very close to our relationship and has been there every step of the way, both him and Jade. But Jade's pregnant, and we don't know when the baby will come, so we may have had to change some plans. We had to go with our backup officiant.

I think we've been pretty open the entire time ever since we found out that Tanner and Jade's baby, we can tell you, is do the same week as our wedding, okay? The same week. It's right around each other. So when they told us that back in February, yeah, I think it was. We were like, okay, well, we're going to have

get a backup. And for some reason, I really truly thought that she was going to, like, have the baby a month early. Yeah. And now we are a lot closer to that. Yeah, the clock's ticking now. Well, I think what really changed our mind. One, I think we both thought Jade was going to have the baby early just because Emmy came a month early. And for those of you who don't know, which probably everybody listened to this podcast knows, Emmy is Tanner and Jade's first born daughter, who came a month early. And apparently, if a mother has a baby early, there's a 20% more likelihood that if she gets pregnant again she'll have a baby early again um but that didn't happen well she she may still have it early but not as early as early not as early not a month early

so when we found out the news we obviously had to go with the backup efficient or at least plan you know no when when we we kind of gave them until like you know we gave them like until a certain date we're like if they don't have the baby by then then we're probably going to have to go with the backup because we like actually have to work on getting our ceremony yeah now because we don't want both you know both people to have to have to to go through the whole production of officiating, including what to wear, what to prepare, what to say, things of that nature. So, you know, the date that we kind of set came and passed, and I think Ashley and I had to

make the decision of what direction we were going to move forward in. And it kind of sucks because as much as we love the person who's officiating, which I don't want to spoil it because I'd rather just have it be that day. Yeah, I want to keep it a surprise now. And we love him. I mean, I can't speak highly, you know, we speak so high. highly of him. He's just an awesome,

awesome person and we're very excited. I'm very excited to be standing at the altar with this particular person. But of course there's a part of me that's really sad. It's not Ben, though. We have to say that. No, it's not Ben. It's somebody that we talked a lot. Yes, sorry.

And people, I remember when I first, we first said it was Tanner. People got annoyed at me because back before we were together, I had one time made a passing comment on the podcast that I would love. love to have beneficiate my wedding. That would,

I think that would be wonderful. Of course. But now that it's Jared and I together, there were other people that I felt like had been more involved in Jared and I getting together. Yeah. I mean, everybody knows the history,

you know, if they're fans of you, they know the history of our relationship. And so I think there have been certain people within that time period that have been very instrumental in not only our relationship and engagement, but our friendship as well. and I think when we got together and got engaged

and we're deciding who we want to officiate our wedding we were thinking about those people that had been so integral and not that Ben hasn't been but I think there's just been other people that we thought of that were like okay this is the person that we want there that I want standing at the altar with me

because they've been there every step of the way and we knew that their tone of the ceremony that they put together is going to be like just a tone that we feel personally I can't wait. I mean, he already told us what the first thing he's going to say is. We busted out laughing. And I mean, crying.

And so I'm very excited. I'm just excited for the wedding to get here because we're, you know, the clock's ticking now. It's almost here. And it's just been a lot really stressful. And I think it's, it sucks because anybody who's planning a wedding, I think has been at this point now where everything is just becoming logistics and about money and number counting. and it just you kind of like forget holy crap we're getting married here soon and we're getting bogged down with so many different materialistic things that I can't even enjoy the moment because we just got to like get through this and that's what really stinks it's like okay well we just got to

hurry up and get through these things and then we'll enjoy you know the time after that but the time after that is going to be like three days before the wedding and so that's I think the hardest part because you put so much time at least Ashley and I have put so much time and effort into this wedding trying to make it the best we possibly can for us, our guests, and just make it, you know, the wedding we've always dreamed of. It sucks that we're so stressed out by now. And so, I don't know, I think both of us are trying to take a step back and enjoy the moment. We don't want Jared to make it seem like this is a funeral. But we do want to thank Hulu for bringing us together tonight.

to celebrate their new show, Four Weddings and a Funeral. Four Weddings and a Funeral is a new Hulu original series produced by Mindy Kaling. The four main characters in the series are friends from college. Maya lives in New York while her other three closest college friends are in London. One of your closest friend lives in New York. I have a couple of friends of New York. I have one in state, one in the city, and I really only get to see them like a couple times a year. big events like my bridal shower that we just

had. So the wedding is bringing people together from all different parts of the country and that's one of the things we're most excited about. Nobody from London as of yet. No. But you never know what's going to happen in the next few weeks. No. But you can catch the premiere of the new rom-com

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joined by a couple who I don't want to put any pressure on you but could have a wedding in their future they've been together for a year now we're joined by Joe and Kendall yeah hello there hey guys so we were talking about wedding speeches a minute ago have you ever been to a wedding where there was somebody who just bombed the speech yes okay tell your stories You want me to go first? Okay, so it was my cousin's wedding, and it was my cousin. She cried the entire speech. But not because she was sad, not because she was sad, because she was so nervous.

And she couldn't deliver the speech. And I know how that is, because I do get nervous, but she was, it was so bad. And it went on for, I hope she doesn't listen to this, actually. She probably will. It went on for like 25 minutes, where people were like, oh, my God, this is horrible. horrible and a part of me wanted to get up and stop it but i didn't um and now that's really that's how 25 minutes 25 of crying because she was standing up there you would think that she just would just sit down she went through the entire speech was probably like two notebook pages

full of you know she did and she didn't want to you know she couldn't give it up hold on i'm not joking so how i'm i believe every second every one word how long were her crying episodes so she would like say a paragraph cry for three minutes and then go on i would say she would say maybe two sentences and then cry are you sure she wasn't just overly emotional why do you think it was crying from nerves because she was shaking okay so she was nervous but i mean but it she it was her cousin i mean who gets really that emotional when a cousin When a cousin gets married

I mean they're close but it wasn't like Just like a regular cousin getting married And she's given a speech but she was nervous There was a lot of people there It was like 400 people there That's a big wedding I think of 400 people too Hmm

Your story? I thought I'd be nervous in front of 400 people No I mean yeah But it was still the worst speech I remember Yeah Okay Kendall how about yours I actually used to be a wedding photographer assistant Why do I feel like you could basically go through

the most random occupations and Kendall's done it I've done that I've had literally so many different weird jobs but yes I was an assistant photographer for weddings and so I've seen a lot of different speeches um the worst speech I feel really bad because I think it was the um bridesmaid I'm sorry the maid of honor and I feel like she really tried to be funny in her speech but her entire speech she was saying how she didn't like the groom when they first met and she's like yeah, I used to, he ate so many bananas. I used to call him a monkey. And no one laughed.

Like, literally no one laughed. Yeah. And we were just sitting there like, oh. And she's like, yeah, I just didn't like him when we first met. And I was like, you don't deserve my friend. And she just kept going. And no one was like laughing at all. She's like, ha.

God, there was a, there was. That was the speech basically that we, at the wedding we were at in January. What was he saying? I don't remember specifics. He was the brother of the bride. And he was just. Total hardo. You know what I mean?

It's a harto. like a hard like a hard like a hard like a hard like a tool yeah yeah yeah that's what I think railing on the groom and we thought he was gonna like lighten up and turn a corner he was the bride's brother oh so he had like a little so he had a little I don't know who let him speak but he was just I mean everything it wasn't even funny it was just like yeah the groom's a dick yeah I was like and then just silence and you're like Wait, was that, am I supposed to be laughing right now? It was one of those moments where everybody at the tables were looking at each other

being like, oh, God, we feel so bad for that. Oh, it was fantastic. It was great. I thought it was the best speech that I heard. The entertainment value. Do you guys look forward to the speeches at weddings? I look forward to actually giving one. Oh, how many have you done?

I've never given a speech at a wedding. You know, but I'm not looking for, I mean, that's like, I really want my brother to get married for that, for that selfish reason that I could get, go out. up there and be like I think you'd rock how's everyone doing tonight oh yeah he'd like took a whole stand-up comedy spot do you do stand-up now are you trying to do I might get back into it I did it back into it yeah I did it before I did the whole reality I was going to say like can we talk about growth here you were the most nervous man coming out of the limo well I wasn't

good at stand-up but I did it well I love the parts I love the wedding speeches they're my favorite part of weddings and I don't understand why so many people are like oh it's the speeches are they over yet like they're the best part it's the best part that's how you hear the whole entire backstory of everything like that's like the whole fairy tale that leads up to the actual moment like that's very much worthy of time have you guys planned out who would give speeches at your you know weddings in your head oh yeah I would have my sister hands down give a speech so we're talking about how my sister is too nervous to give a speech and wants to do it

at the rehearsal dinner. Yeah, she's made of honor. She's working to force her. She doesn't seem like a nervous person. That's exactly why I said she can't get away with it. Oh, she'll feel fine though. I think once she gets up there. It's just,

hopefully she won't cry and shake the entire time like the person Joe is talking about. She'll probably be up there for 25 minutes just saying nonsense as she's crying. Have you guys talked about it? Wait, wait, who do you want to give a speech at your wedding? I would have my brother. I only have one.

sibling so and we're really close yeah is he still in chicago he is he's a policeman policeman in chicago it's a badass yeah that's a tough that's a tough gig right there yeah um all right so you guys have been together for a year now wow it's been a year have you not notice know what your uh anniversary is because no we do not know we have weird anniversary yeah we don't really know because i think august i think sometime in august that's when we officially announced that we are together yeah i've known you for over a year Yeah, we've been living We've basically

I met Kendall I've been living with her ever since Yeah How is it is it How's living together It's easy Yeah, it's great I would just say it's easy

I mean that's I think that's how you can tell A relationship works Is when you live together You feel like Yeah it's just fun You know It is

Yeah I always find that With Ashley and I One of the best things About our relationship Is that I never really feel Like I need time Away from her There's past relationships

Where I just feel like I need to be away from this person for a little while just to kind of get some air but it never a lot of the times when I'm with Ashley there is this sense of being alone but not it's super yeah I can understand it's a great feeling though because it there's there's really has not been a moment yet where I've thought I need to get out of the house that's great sometimes I feel like you are at that point but it's nice to know that you feel like you've never gotten there not out of the house maybe out of the room Yeah, I never feel like I have to

Joe will literally go on a 15 minute run I'm like when are you coming back? Yeah, that happened today It did happen today She missed me I went on 15 minute run you Well, because I like jumped on a bed and hurt my neck So I haven't been in front of that

Yeah, she's jumping on bed still Wait a minute, wait a minute Come on guys I'll tell you jump on the bed, come on Hold on so Joe went for a run And you thought this is a great opportunity For me to jump on the bed by myself No, I jumped on the bed previous to the run

and I hurt my neck so I couldn't go on a run because it irritated my neck too much. Are you talking about like McCulley Colkin and Home Alone jumping on the bed touch? I was trying to do a slow motion video. It was getting mad at me that I wasn't jumping on the bed. And then I tried to leap over the table and jump on the bed and I almost broke my head.

What we do for freaking social media, you know, we're putting our body at jeopardy. I kind of want to be able to fly on the wall in your household right now. It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. A lot of pillows and jumping on beds and pillows? Pillows?

You guys have a lot of pillow? We actually just have a lot. Initially it was supposed to be a pillow fight And then it went from a pillow fight To jumping on the bed Then it turned to something else And then I was kidding

I was gonna say I know You get hot in here Holy moly I was like Jared and I need to like Start getting like our hearts up more At our Guys it was a nap

What do you think I'm talking about? We have very healthy You know Babe I'm just saying We do you know We get it on Someone take the wide away

from this guy i don't i've been drinking lemonade i just want to keep i just want joe to keep talking right now me too god i'm going to come out next joe has really come out of his shell since we met him on the bachelor yeah it was very hard i remember when you first interviewed me oh my god it was you were the hardest interview i've ever had i wasn't i wasn't easy but and now it's just flowing now you can't get him to stop talking i like it like joe how was how was your time on the bachelor's at my That was cool. Oh, he met the love of my life. Oh, no, not Bachelorette.

That was Paradise. No, yeah, Paradise, not Bachelor. Oh. I didn't even meet the Bachelorette. Did you talk to her and I won? A little stand-up right there. Yeah, he did. And she said that he was so nervous that it was like actually a turnoff for her,

which is why I didn't get through that night. Oh, that's what she said. I'll remember that one. Oh, maybe I'm putting words into Becca's mouth. No, it probably was. It was probably a turnoff. She was probably like, you know, just couldn't have an easy, flowy conversation. I loved that Joe was nervous.

I mean, I think the first time we hung out on Paradise, he brought me this whole plate of fruits and vegetables and started like naming all the different fruits and vegetables. And he was so sweating. And I, and then I knew that I was sweating. And she called me out of it and it just kept coming. And I'm like, oh, my God. I thought it was so cute, though. This is so bad. This guy's well hydrated.

On the Bachelorette for Becca's, I walked up to her, I'm like, so like, what's your pet peeve? And then after I said it, I'm like, oh, my God. What did you say? I sound like my grandmother right now. And she was so confused. She's like, what? What's your pet peeve?

I'm like, when people stand in front of me at the airport waiting for their luggage. What? You mean at the carousel? I do have me to say about that. I hate when people walk right in front of it. you when you're trying to get out of luggage it's like this is my lane get out of my i agree with you you had a guy he said the other day like the the bag dropped and he goes excuse me my that's my bag and the guy literally just kept standing there i mean it was

la what uh did i expect him to be nice to me that's in the wrong town that's true it's like my bag is far superior to your bag that's a weird pet peeve that and people at disneyland the walk really slow oh yeah one thing that you're bad one thing that jo's had to learn about being in a relationship with me is that my family goes to Disneyland a lot my dad works for Disney so we're always going to Disneyland so we have to deal with the slow walkers of Disneyland we had to have a serious conversation we did actually have a very serious conversation the fact that I told him I'm like listen I just I can't keep going to Disneyland he's like I'm a grown adult we don't even have kids for more reason why you should go Jared wants to go to Disneyland and especially

Universal Studios well yeah way more than we do well they just uh the Jurassic World right just opens But specifically Orlando He doesn't want to go around here He wants to take a trip to Orlando Just for the theme products Well Orlando's is far better That is an experience

Also Harry Potter The Harry Potter land is way better I mean I haven't been But I've heard stories Oh the difference Green Goss Bank is there Yeah you're missing out girl Disney World is even way better than Disneyland

I'll just say it I think everyone's thinking it It's massive Oh it's way better There's four different parks In Disney World Yeah Disneyland, it's like a puddle.

I mean, they opened up Star Wars. Galaxy's Edge. Anyway, we don't talk about Star Wars, Disney. It gives me anxiety. Anyway, let's go back to yours. I go back to weddings. Well, well, okay, fine. Jared, you ask the next question, then I have the next one.

All right, well, I was just going to say we're talking about Hulu's four weddings and a funeral. So we're talking about weddings here. You guys have been together for over a year. You're in the Bachelor world. So being together for a year is pretty much like growing old together. is there an engagement uh have you guys talked about the future kids engagement marriage yeah we actually or you guys just keep having pillow fights that's a part of the engagement which is a fantastic thing

not saying a bad thing she said that's part of the engagement there's like a ring inside the pillow and i like hit in the head with it no but we i mean we talk about i mean i guess i feel like since we've met engagement has been a part of the conversation which is weird yeah it's just bachelor it's bachelor world you know yeah and we've also i mean i think we're each other's longest relationship we've ever been in so really yeah that's interesting for both of you a year is your longest yeah yeah a year is my longest too we've been together for a year and a half we've been together for a year and a half yeah well actually my longest i was about saying your math made no sense there my longest relationship is a year we've been together for a year and a half

my real real relationship that was beyond a few months yeah my longest relationship is four years It was a big one. That's a long time ago. Early 20s. He was young. It was like 19 to 23. Yep. So there will be an engagement in our future if we last four years.

This is true. Before the four years. I'm saying before the four years. Do you have a timeline? Not really. Well, I mean, for me, I would definitely, I want it to be a surprise. So I'm hoping to do it on the next season of The Bachelor. But yeah, I mean, I want it to be a surprise.

And I feel like we are, I mean, I mean, we are very much in love and we have a great time and enjoy living together. We're definitely, like, comfortable with the idea of engagement, I would say. I mean, you know, it could come any day now, but it's going to be a little bit. Is it happening right now? It's a better fan. He's getting something from his pocket. Like a play-by-play.

My last question for you guys kind of, well, in this Hulu show, four weddings and a funeral, the groom is kind of in love with the bride's best friend and there's like a lot of awkwardness at their wedding that you see at the end of the first episode and I'm thinking that would have been one of the circumstances oh it's kind of how it is um he was like I'm I don't do like I'm not doing I'm not going to marry you how have you ever been to a wedding where does anybody know what the hell she's talking about. Not like I do. I do.

I don't do. I don't do, Jared. I don't do. What do you? I don't do you? I do. No, like I backed out.

Yeah. So he says, I don't actually say that. He just says, no. He just says no. Okay, I got it now.

I don't want to marry you. All right. I don't love you. I love your sister. Got it. I have a twin sister. So. Yeah,

that's true. This is, well, that's a whole other conversation. Have you guys ever been to a wedding or heard stories where somebody either says I don't, they back out

the day of, or somebody who says I object. I actually did a whole podcast episode and if you're really interested, you go to my other podcast and search it, but we did a whole episode of people with objections at the altar.

And there were surprisingly, we got enough stories for a whole podcast episode. Joe's nodding his head over here. I have a great one. Okay, go for it. I personally don't know the guy, but I heard this. Okay, so the day of the wedding, he found out like a week before the wedding that she was sleeping with someone else. This is usually how it is.

Okay? So what he did was, and he got, he had pictures of them together, like sleeping together. So he printed out a bunch of pictures. He printed out a bunch of pictures, put him underneath all the seats at the wedding. Oh, my God. This is worse than the story I was going to share. And then as he was about to say, I do. called her out. I think they had a projector screen or something. And boom. And he said, like,

look under your seats. Um, she's, you know, whatever, yada, yada yada. And then you know, yada yada over sex, man. Is that a Seinfeld quote or something? It is moving on. It is. And and he walked out. Wow. So the story that I heard was very similar when the bride was supposed to read her vows, she ended up reading text messages between the groom and the mistress. That's awesome. That's like such an expensive call-out, though. Such an expensive way to break. It's like we're still having dinner afterwards.

They said that they did. They went and partied afterward. Like, they took advantage of it. Yeah. I mean, you have to. I mean, you only live once. Yeah. Yeah.

Yada yada. Find out your spouse is cheating. Just do it at the wedding. Oh, dang. Suppose them at the wedding. That's like a whole number level of cold. Yeah. Crazy stuff, guys.

Well, Joe Kendall, thank you for joining us. Of course. On this very special four weddings and a few episodes of the Almost Manus podcast. Yes. And Joe, before you go, we heard something really cool that you're doing. Oh, yeah. I have a clothing line that I will be dropping August 1st. It's called frown clothing.

You can follow us on Instagram at frown clothing. Why frown? So frown, we are doing the word frown upside down. And we have partnered with a charity called Smile Train. that fixes cleft lip so it's incredible yeah and we have hoodies and t-shirts and we're going to drop a bunch of different items of clothing and we're spreading smiles yes and i'm assuming they can a little positivity in this negative social media world totally and i'm assuming everybody can find that on your instagram and you can definitely find that on my instagram and on our instagram at frown

clothing awesome why was cleft lips a thing for you because it went it just went hand in hand with what we were trying to do with just yeah with smiling and it works yeah and smile train's a great charity they're awesome awesome we're excited august first august first check it out or august 7th i don't know i'm not sure within the first week of august keep everybody on their toes stay tuned guys august or 7th i know you guys are going to watch four weddings and a funeral after this podcast because you've just heard it talked about too much for you not to just break your curiosity and click on it when you see it on hulu it's under their original series relationships are forged and broken political scandals are exposed

london social life lampooned love affairs ignited and doused and of course there are four weddings and a funeral of course duffy has a secret crush on maya and craig is trying to help a secret crush. Have I ever had a secret crush? I feel like all of my crushes in high school were secret. I never told my friends about them. What about you, babe? Oh, yeah. We talked about this on a podcast a while ago about a crush you had in high school, but you never had the guts to tell them that you actually liked them. No, that was in grad school. Oh, well, for me, it was a high school girl. Oh, yeah. We did this episode before we were together. Yeah, I sent her flowers on Valentine's Day. I don't know if you guys remember that in high school. You were able to, like, send little chocolates or

flowers to like somebody's home room desk. I did that and then I didn't have the guts tell her I liked her and I was like oh I just I just wanted you to have a good day you're just such a cute little chubby kid terrible you can catch all the drama in four weddings and a funeral a new rom-com series produced by Mindy Kaling premiering July 31st only on Hulu hi my name is enya umanzor and I'm Drew Phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're You're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect.

And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an...

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expertise. And then as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to no such thing on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance bro? Tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates, I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan,

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For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. The Super Secret Festi Club podcast season four is here. And we're locked in. That means more juicy cheesement. Terrible love advice. to cast on your ex. No, no, no, no, no, we're not doing that this season. Oh, well, this season, we're leveling up.

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Okay. That's us. Where is the heck? That's us. My name is Curley. And I'm Maya. In each episode, we'll talk about love, friendship, heart breaks, men, and, of course, our favorite secrets. Listen to the Super Secret Bestie Club as a part of the Michael Tura podcast network available on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to. be hell on earth. Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camps, are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training. These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months.

The first night was so overwhelming, and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. Nobody tells you anything. Listen to shock incarceration on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, we are joined now. by Heather Martin from Colton's season.

I'm sorry, but you were notoriously known for having her first kiss with Colton. Yes. So now I've got to ask, how do you feel about couples practicing their wedding altar kiss? Practicing it?

Don't you feel like you need to practice it? I've never heard of that in my entire life. Neither have I, and I'm getting married in a little while. What do you talk about, babe? We were talking about how you better not pick me up there. That was a joke. of course I'm not going to peck you. He does, now we joke.

Now he pecks me in real life and he goes, okay, let's go. Like, he pretends as if he's... Wait, is that a thing to practice? Yeah. I have never heard of that mind. Neither have I. I think Ashley's making this up.

I want to make sure that we have like a tasteful romantic kiss. What does that entail? Like, what is it tasteful? A real lip lock, but no tongue. Okay. That's fine. Do we need to practice that? Are you to practice?

I feel like we've done that a million times. I mean timing how long it'll be You want to be like absolutely perfect Is that you're saying I think it should be I think it should be rehearsed like once or twice Interesting I've never thought about that Ever I never thought I just thought kissing was kissing

Whatever feels right in the moment babe If a peck feels right I think I think we should just do it There's a couple things that I tell Jared if he were to do on our wedding Peck me at the altar And then put too much gel in his hair I'd be like okay I'm mad Good Lord in heaven

Would you rather have a peck Or like him like go at it Like which one? I'd rather him go at it Of course Yeah Oh yeah Tori's shaking her head

Okay yeah yeah You'd rather have a peck at the altar Could you imagine seeing a bride and groom Or any couple Up there Just give a peck As if they don't passionately love each other On their wedding day

I'd rather see like tongue saliva makeout sesh. I think a peck too. I think a peck too. No, what peck is like, do they like each other? When I watch wedding shows, like wedding docu series, I always say, I have seen some sloppy gross kisses at the altar. I'll say that. That's not appealing. No one likes it. No one likes it. No one likes it. No, nobody likes it. But peck is true. You think like, do they actually like each other? Yeah, it's like, come on, guys, it's your wedding day. I know you're getting married, but at the end of the day, let's show some emotion and passion here. Heather you were on Colton season what are you up to now have you have you kissed anybody else she hasn't ever asked me that yeah I feel so bad no I have not I have not she I asked her this a couple weeks ago yeah no well no one it's it's obviously your choice it has to be you are striking beautiful woman thank you it's true I'm saying that to be nice Ashley don't kill me like it's true it's true no it's it's always like this weird thing now that because I

like to compliment everybody, but it's weird as an engaged man. I don't feel weird. We used to complimenting. All right, great. Perfect. Yeah. As long as you don't feel weird. You shouldn't feel weird with me complimenting anyone. It depends on how you compliment. See, he does. He doesn't like it. It depends. Because there'll be times

where we're watching The Bachelorette and somebody will say like, oh, that guy's sexy. And I should be like, I know he is sexy. And it's like, you're not allowed to say sexy about any other man besides me anymore. Sometimes I feel like I've just like slipped out things like when we're with our like you know bachelor friends

like I think I've said to like Ben and Dean I'd be like you look great you look so good you look so good today outfit looks awesome your hair looks nice and I can see Jared here she doesn't say your hair looks nice you always like compliment their looks or how good looking they are and it's like

all right ash settle down he doesn't like it can't do the compliment thing compliments to a certain extent I think every person a lot of people feel the way I do you know where you're in a relationship and you're like All right.

So, you know, take it back a little bit. But I feel like that's kind of who Ashley is, though. You kind of compliment everyone in general, right? Well, I think Ashley and I have actually talked about this a lot. We both do that. We both make people feel good by truly telling them about, like, what we find very appealing about them. But I think Ashley, Ash, God, I used to call me a flurgeon on the show. You are. Flirty virgin.

That was what the producer is called. Flurgeon. You're very flirty and you're also. It's going to sound, I hope this doesn't sound bad. You're kind of a fan girl. Yeah, that's not the sound bad at all. But when being a fan girl, but when you see someone who you view as, you know, very good looking boy band or whatever, you know, your type is, you end up fan girling over them.

And it's not. Like my role as host. I know. But I remember it caused it. I'm not even going to lie. It caused issues in our relationship early on. There was a couple moments. where he was like, I could see the way that you looked at him.

And it's like, I know it's, I know nothing would ever happen. It's not, it's not that I think that you would cheat on me or anything like that. It's more, imagine if I looked at a woman the way you look at some guys. See, I argued this with Jared. I think when guys look at girls and like, they like think about their appearance. When guys talk about a girl's appearance, it's more like, oh, she's hot. I'd like to bang her. With girls, it's like, oh, he's hot.

I want to look at him. I agree. I totally agree. That's a double standard. No, it's not a double standard. That's a double standard. We're not as sexually oriented when it comes to like visuals. We need like a lot more to be like sexually attracted.

So if I looked at a girl the way that you look at some guys and I know that it's not any like I know you love me and you find me very attractive. I tell you they're the hottest person I know that's every single day. I know and you're so supportive and so you hype me up all the time. And I love you about that. But if I looked at girls the way sometimes you look at guys, just in terms of that, that awe, you would, you, you, you would, you would kill me. I do think it's a double standard, though, because girls do that all the time. Like actors, musicians, girls who are married and so happily married can just go off

about like how much they have like a crush or like they're fan girling over somebody. But it's a double standard. but I think there is a certain innocence to our crushes that guys don't have innocence about it does feel different it totally is a double standard like it totally is but there's something different about it there really is this is absurd there really is it's two against one rule now as well I don't like double standards in any uh a facet of life whether it's you know towards women or towards men I'm not saying what I do is right but I know that what I do is very innocent. Oh, I know it is too. It's just more of, of course, you know, as any person, if you saw your significant other kind of like in awe of somebody else's looks, you would be like, wow, this feels like crap. It can't feel good. Yeah, and it's not anything intentional. Also, yesterday we were watching Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I was drooling over Margaret Robbie more than Leo. Like, I was like, oh my God, her face. My her face, her face, her face.

Totally. But I do that with guys all the time. Yeah. Like I drool over Tom Brady. but it's not just the You do drool over guys more than girls though I know actually you know it's really funny This is kind of a small story So I'm a big Rob Thomas fan We were we've become friendly Long story short

We were hanging out with him Before his last concert in Boston And he He looked at Ashley and me And he's like you know the more I get to know Jared The more I realize that all his like crushes are guys And then he was like What are you trying to say?

No, no, I know. But he's like, but he's like, but I totally get that because when I think about it, all my crushes are guys too. Because as a guy, it's like I, you know, obviously something like Margo Robbie is stunning and beautiful. But if you're asking like, who would I rather meet Margo Robbie or Tom Brady or even like Margot or DiCaprio? It's not even a question. I want to meet Leo every day of the week in Tosan Sunday. You know? And I don't know. That's just like my way of thinking because I'm like me I think it's also like because I want to be like that yeah you want to be like that you know and you already have your girl so like what's the point well that's what we're also saying to rob thomas we're one our hall passes we can't have

hall passes because they're too attainable nope which is understandable they're too attainable like we could just casually run into them on the street or like we're one degree we're one degree of separation from them you know what i mean it's like not even funny anymore because she told me who's your hall pass again i think joe jonas is my number one hall pass. All right. Who was it? Milo Ventimilia.

So, oh, every girl in the room is now raising their hands. We have like multiple praise hands about Joe and Milo. I obviously have a type between Joe, Milo, and Jared. Not to mention that I just saw a trailer for a dog movie that's coming out, starring Milo. I was like, good God. The dog movie looks so warm and snugly. If there wasn't just enough women in the world that will go see that movie.

But it's interesting. because like that could have we know someone who knows him yeah yeah and it's like no that that could we could easily just meet him and then I should be like well that's my hall pass you said it that's so then when this then we start having this hall pass conversation which originated like a year ago when we first got engaged I was like let's not use the word hall pass because that would infer that we wanted to like bang that for sure yeah that's not like a like I have have a celebrity crush. I'm like,

these are my celebrity crushes. They're not hall passes. But I will say that with Leo, I think you'd almost want me to get with Leo. No, no. I see, people misconstrued that all the time.

Because when I talk about like someone like Brady, they're like, oh, you would, you would totally make out Brady. And it's like, no. You personally?

Yeah, no, me. You know, because they're like, oh, you love him. Yeah. And it's like,

one, there's different types of love. You know? The way I love my parents is not the same way I love my Ashley the same way as I love Tom Brady yes I agree um but it's I forget where I was going with this I don't know we're going with all of this I don't know we just rambled on you wouldn't make out with Tom Brady no not there's anything wrong with that but just you should make out with Tom Brady no I would like I said not there's anything wrong with that people want to make out

Tom Brady I totally get it it's just not my preference I want to grab a beer with Brady even though he doesn't drink beer I don't think because he's that you know health nut I think he does I think every, oh, he does, yeah, he chugged the beer, remember that time. Like, on, like, somebody's Insta story. It was not, it's Stephen Colbert. Oh, okay. And where he did the, he chugged the beer in like half a second. Anyway, wow, we really went off topic there.

I really went off topic. Oh, Heather, who are your celebrity crushes? Oh, so we can arrange your next kiss. Since these are all, like, one degree of separations, we can try to arrange this. Oh, that's such a big question. There's got. There's so many. There's nobody that comes to mind.

Like, even just like a few names that you're like, oh, that person this person like since like forever like since cinderella story like chad michael murray he's a fantastic celebrity crush totally underrated better than chad michael murray isn't there somebody john paul jones he doesn't look that much like him they're both very attractive men but i don't think john paul jones looks too much like she's saying no all right no you have got to watch one tree hill oh my gosh one tree hill actually like and i was convinced while watching it that that chad michael mary was the hottest person in the entire world I think so.

I really enjoyed chackle. Chackle. Chad Michael Murray in House of Wax. Oh, okay. I know. Nobody, yeah, of course you haven't. Obviously, I've heard of it. Paris Hilton's in there.

Yeah, Paris Hilton. There's just a couple of people I can't remember. What else do I know Chad Michael Murray from? Because I know he's from Cinderella story, but he's in one. Oh, Freaky Friday. Oh, maybe that's, yeah. That's where I know I'm from. Yeah.

Chad Michael Murray is a great celebrity crush. He's just like, he's like the ultimate. Yeah, he's a good one. All right. So he's married. Who's number two? I think he's married. Let's pick a single crush.

And we'll have our emailers call in with connections. But really, Amy's just connected to everyone. Dang it. I should have come up for this one before. Are you like a 90s heartthrob girl? Or are you kind of like 2000? She's 23.

You're born in like 2000. And 23. Holy crap, I'm old. I know. She's like almost a decade younger than us. Who's, all right. What about Justin Tiberlake? No, it's like probably too old for her.

No, I like Justin Timberlake. But he wasn't like my ultimate. Like when I was a sophomore in high school, I kissed Terry Stiles on the cheek. And it was the best day in my entire life. So you should say that's your first place. Yeah. There you go. Colton's great and all.

I met him. I stalked him to a golf course. Like I heard my friend was golfing and I heard he was there. And I literally like, we had a math final the next day. And I was like, I do not care. I stocked him to the golf course. got the picture kissed him all the cheeks my friend i think his best in my life like literally still to this day like i will like the feeling of oh yeah okay okay what was his cheek like it was great and he was

soft right super nice right super nice well he was like trying to run away from everyone but like i found him like i was like i was going yeah found him no one else got a picture except me and my friend and we just like stalked into his car that's amazing it was an amazing moment how do you feel about his his casting as prince eric oh it's not officially yet I don't think Lauren called me like shrieking that it was That's not here too Yeah it's official

I don't know I heard about it I don't think it's official yet Because I looked it up when Lauren called And I don't think it's officially He would be great He was great in Dunkirk if you guys saw that I didn't see it Yeah he he can act

I know I think that what's his name did a great job As Elton John in Rocket Man But I still think that Tager Tegger, Tegren, Arkin, Tom. Eggerton. Egerton.

Eggerton. Yeah. But I still think Harry could have really killed that role too. Okay. Well, we are going on and on and on. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. That was great.

Thank you. Thanks, guys. Thanks, Heather. I know you guys are probably missing Ben very much. You're like, wow, Ashley really needs Ben to hold this podcast down. Well, that's a busy man. He's been in Switzerland, okay? He has these companies to run.

run and now he has something else on his plate. It is the Bachelor Live on stage and he is the host of this live tour. They're hitting up a bunch of cities all throughout the country. It's going to be kind of like a game show and Ben is hosting the whole shebang. You can go get more information at Bachelor Live onstage.com. Four weddings and a funeral is a new Hulu original series focusing on the lives of four college friends and their different relationship and career crisis. One of the main characters, Craig, has a girlfriend named Zara,

who is an outsider to the college friend group. Ashley, you've ever been an outsider? I feel like you've always been an outsider. What do you mean? You're being sarcastic, right? Not a bad way. What do you mean? Because I always, like, embrace myself full-heartedly.

I don't think, whole-heartedly. I don't remember stories of you having really a close friend high school group. I don't have, wow, an outsider, Jared. I it's called somebody who had a lot of friends in different groups I never had like a core group no I know it was really sad it is said but I think that's why I love the bachelor family so much because it's like my first group of friends that we can all hang together and like we all relate to each other and we all get along because other than that I've always just had like my friend here my friend here my friend here my friend here my friend here I think you probably relate to this coming from the bachelor just like I was I guess have you ever had if you ever disliked a friend's friend's friend like you're close with a friend you're close with a friend and you're like, I love you, but then they always bring another friend around that you have to hang out with because they're friends, but you don't like them.

Going to be honest, because nobody's sticking out, I'm going to say no. No, even in The Bachelor world? I feel like that's a given. The Bachelor world? I like almost everyone. Well, that's fair. You're a very sweet person.

Now, you can catch all the drama in four weddings and a funeral. A new rom-com series produced by Mindy Kaling premiering July 31st only on Hulu. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. your free iHeartRadio app search emergency intercom and listen now imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this attention passengers the pilot is having an emergency and we need someone anyone to land this plane think you could do it it turns out that nearly 50% of men think that

they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control and they're saying like okay pull this do this pull that turn this it's just i can do my eyes close I'm Mani. I'm Noah. This is Devon. And on our new show, No Such Thing, we get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence.

Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise. And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. See? Listen to No Such Thing on the IHeart Radio app.

Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro, tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are bleeding from these high interest rates,

I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your low. local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away just because you're avoiding it. And in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Your entire identity has been fabricated. Your beloved brother goes missing without a trace. You discover the depths of your mother's illness, the way it has echoed and reverberated throughout your life, impacting your very legacy. Hi, I'm Danny Shapiro. And these are just a few of the profound and powerful stories I'll be mining on our 12th season of Family Seasons. With over 37 million downloads, we continue to be moved and inspired by our guests and their courageously told stories. I can't wait to share 10 powerful new episodes with you, stories of tangled up identities, concealed truths, and the way in which family secrets almost always need to be told.

I hope you'll join me and my extraordinary guests for this new season of Family Secrets. Listen to Family Secrets Season 12 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. What would you do if one bad decision forced you to choose between a maximum security prison or the most brutal boot camp designed to be hell on earth? Unfortunately for Mark Lombardo, this was the choice he faced. He said, you are a number, a New York State number, and we own you. Shock incarceration, also known as boot camp. are short-term, highly regimented correctional programs that mimic military basic training.

These programs aim to provide a shock of prison life, emphasizing strict discipline, physical training, hard labor, and rehabilitation programs. Mark had one chance to complete this program and had no idea of the hell awaiting him the next six months. The first night was so overwhelming and you don't know who's next to you. And we didn't know what to expect in the morning. nobody tells you anything listen to shock incarceration on the i heart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts okay guys we are joined by crystal who's become really like um a regular on this podcast like she's been on maybe three of the past six episodes i feel like but i have a great question that i want to concentrate on with our segment with crystal because she's

she just got married and because we're about to get married and because this has been something that Jared and I have bickered about when going to other people's weddings. Ooh. The question is, and we asked the Instagram audience this a couple months ago, do how much do you give a couple? How much do you give a couple if you're giving money? Yeah. So say you're like you're giving money at a wedding as a gift. How much do you give per person?

Per person per couple. Do you even do it by per person? I'm so confused by this because we went to a wedding a couple months ago, not yours, but somebody else's wedding. We went to your wedding as well and it was quite beautiful. But we went to another wedding before that a couple months ago and I was like, oh, we should give this amount. Ashley was like, are you insane?

I was like, Jared, how cheap are you? That's so embarrassing. And I was like, what are you talking about? This is a good amount of money. Was it $100? It was a little bit more than that. I say that it should be about $200 a couple and about $100 per individual. you know i think it's so interesting because when you when you buy gifts you're you're buying the

gifts and i would spend probably at least a couple hundred dollars individually yeah um when it's money it's so different because it's such a different category isn't it and um i actually haven't am i are we going to figure out how much money i'm giving to you what you're winning we don't want anything this is very this is perfect because i don't give anything perfect I'm being honest because so many of our guests Ashley gets mad at me every time this is but I really don't want that many gifts just because I know Ashley is going to slap me

but I feel bad for everybody who has to pay money to fly out get a hotel it's not cheap so and so the gift is kind of secondary the most important thing is we want people there yeah but it is it is nice to give and I think that Chris and I asked for we didn't really ask for a lot of presents we asked for like money towards like our honey

our little honey fun and I really enjoyed that because we actually get to create experiences and I know like when it comes to money I think that it's interesting but I think minimum a hundred dollars a person yeah I think so too and it seemed like Instagram was I said with Instagram the Instagram poll I said around 100 or around 200 and most people said around 200 Jared expected he thought like the norm was like less than $75. a person you thought it was around $75 well I never I never even quantified it as per person I was just like here's money for the couple I never was like oh I got to spend at least 75 bucks per person no Jared yes they get their tables their plates that they like your your dinner cost them at least $50 usually I know so it's so crazy like um years ago when I first started like going to weddings and had like my friends that started getting married I remember sitting down with her and friend Ashley and going over she's like yeah it's like a hundred and fifty dollars ahead and I was like wait what to have you there uh what and she's like and was complaining about like people not

RSVP or people wanting to bring plus ones that weren't like in serious relationships and I never seen it from that bridal perspective before but I was like oh my gosh there is so much so much that goes into having guests there so y'all RSVP to the way our SVP is a big one I used to RSVP. I'm such a jerk. According to what the registry of what the bread and cream are asking for. And I would say I personally like doing gifts, even if it's just like experiences. So like what you can probably expect from me is like a little note that says what this money will be used for because it's like an experience.

And I like having like that little quantifiable contribution. No, I liked your registry because it was it was like money for the honeymoon. for this and money for that. But it was like airline, uh, ubers, right, food out of like this kind of restaurant. I thought that was pretty thoughtful and pretty cool. What are you guys doing? We have a crane barrel registry and then we also have like a honeymoon or we have like a house fund. We're calling it our house fund because we always spend so much time together watching HGTV and dreaming about our ideal house. Dreaming that I feel like everything we do is like, okay, this is going to go to our house one day. Yeah. I mean every kind of like penny we say.

It's like, all right, this is going towards our house. That's a great question. We think the house will be in Rhode Island. Well, somewhere in these coast. Somewhere I like around there. Probably just L.A. It's so expensive. The dollar doesn't go far.

No. You don't get your, you know, the bank for the buck out here. And it sucks. It's just like, why would I pay for a house over here? It's like, yeah, here's a 2,000 square foot house, two bedrooms, one and a half bath, two million dollars. And it's like, what? I know. No, I was looking, when I first moved out to California in 2012, I was looking on Zillow just for fun.

We're always on Zillow. Not like I could afford anything because I was like a server. I saw in Studio City 450 square feet foot studio, 950,000 dollars. And I was like, I'm coming from like Montana and Idaho. And I was like, is this what it is out here? Yeah, you just turn right back around. Oh, my. Back in my Honda Accord.

How long did you work in the hospitality industry for? I worked in food and beverage for 12 years. Wow. High five. Yeah. A little closer to 13. I worked in it for my first job was 15 busing at cellos. Chellos in Warwick, Rhode Island.

Is that a town restaurant? No, it was like a hometown, like family vibe. Chellos, have I been there? Yeah, we went to cellos on the water. A different one. Yeah, it was a different one. Anyway, I've worked for, God, 11, 12 years in the hospital industry, but I know you treat everybody so well and you're so personable with everybody and you can tell that you have

a background working with people. And I've always said everybody, it should be a college course to work in the food industry or any type of hospitality, hotel, because dealing with people teaches you how to deal with people. How to just how to be a nice person, you know, to look at somebody in the eyes, to respond to somebody. I think even just to speak respectfully. Yeah.

Even to just, I know as a server, there were many, many moments where I just felt so degraded, taking someone's order. And I'm like, I'm trying to serve your family lady. Oh, yeah. Like, your kids are screaming. I'm here, like, helping out. I was bartending, too, after the show at times. And it was the worst feeling ever on that because so many times people would come in.

Oh, it's so weird. And they would be like, oh my God, you're Jared from the Bachelor. What the hell? they would be like oh my god i'm so excited to meet you because if you're on tv they immediately assume that you have fame and fortune and it was just sometimes really difficult because then i'm like no i'm bartending here like can i get you something to drink and it was just like this weird surreal moment i think for them because they were like oh my god i thought like what are you doing here you were on tv and it's like that's not how reality of tv works you know and so uh yeah

whenever you said well did they uh tip you good uh sometimes i remember not not to be weird. I would get numbers all the time. It was just like that was the thing. But when he was working in L.A. when we first like started dating and he was bartending because he really just wanted to bartend. Well, I wanted to work.

Yeah, you wanted to work. I wanted to go and like to have a structure to his day. I used to like pick him up and I'd be like, did you get any numbers? Did anybody hit on you? I love my guy getting hit on by other people. So,

I like knowing that I have something that other people want. so weird but you didn't have him at that time no i did no this is we were dating oh it was yeah oh so when did you quit bartending no like he came back to it for a while in l i i stopped in like may i think may or may or june probably june uh this past year yeah just about a year ago but uh it just everything kind of picked up and everything was so busy and it was just impossible it was like oh i can work next sunday and next tuesday and it was impossible you know can i ask How did it feel to put in your resignation? Oh, well, I've quit a few jobs.

It's always the worst. I've gotten better at it as I've done it more often. And then you realize that it's not anything personal. It's just, I've never quit a job because I've hated the job. You know, I've always quit because there's either a better opportunity or I had to leave or something along those lines. So I don't think I've ever really had that experience of like, I hate this place. I'm quitting. It's always been, I have a better opportunity or I just can't fit it in my schedule.

what happened with so for me mine was different my first job was actually as a dishwasher at a truck stop yeah you were telling us that and I used to walk two miles each way to go wash dishes my mom would tell me when chocolate used to cost a nickel

I know so long I walk I walk two miles to school you kids you kids are so ungrateful and well and then at one point the school bus would like drop me off in school and high school like my freshman year.

Yo, I was hustling. I grew with a single mom who really couldn't ever ever provide. I remember on the bachelor I talked about in third grade I bought myself a comforter for my bed because mine had holes.

My mom couldn't afford it. And so I said to have all my birthday money and my Christmas money and while my siblings were out buying candy and bought like it's a beautiful comforter with like floral on it which is now like hideous. But I was like so proud.

I've always had this like like ethic to just really know that it's going to be me out there like me like providing for myself and I really carried that ethic throughout you know my entire life because of that so when I quit bartending I remember I would stand there and I would be bartending like my last like year and I would just I would like pull out the little receipt and like get that extra paper and I would pull out a little customer pad and start writing down like my mission statement of like my job my career like my dreams and what I was going to do and all the steps I was going to take and I would just be like so connected with it

and know that like when I was there granted I was so grateful to be working to be making money and I really enjoyed bartending. It was really really fun but I knew that I wasn't living my potential and so part of me was just really like held back and feeling just you know like a flower that just couldn't blossom

as long as I stayed safe and so when I quit also my mom bartender for 25 years and I got to see her just never really go after her dreams and it was really hard to see that. So that was a huge fear for me

was that I would never amount to anything else. I would only be that. I would only play it safe in the world. And my dreams would go like uncovered or still covered. And so for me to quit, it was this huge, huge moment for me.

Granted, I quit to go make like minimum wage as a fitness instructor. But for me it was, it wasn't the job. It was just that the expression of like the soul and the work I was doing and contributing out to the world yeah going after what you want I'm going to tell a quick story and Ashley's definitely going to hate me for this and I apologize why well there's a great story that I've heard that I've repeated Ashley many times that Jim Kerry talks about and he talks about his father

he says my father was the funniest guy funnier than me could have been a great comedian but he was scared because that seemed out of the possibility and so he took a safe job as an accountant and when Jim Carrey was 13 years old his father got fired from that job and they had to do whatever they had to do to survive. And he learned a lot of great lessons, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don't want to do. So you might as well go after what you love. And that's a line that's always stuck with me. And it's something that I preach and I don't practice. Don't practice.

It's, you know, because it is hard because you do have this idea of taking these safe jobs because it looks like it's, you know, there's a. there and security there. But there really isn't. There's no such thing as a safe job. And so I give you a lot of credit for kind of being able to get out of your own way and go after the things you want because especially coming from your background and I think I can relate a little bit.

You see a lot of your friends. There's so much potential and there's so many things that they want to do. And then all of a sudden 15 years go by and they're still bartending. And there's nothing wrong with that at all. I was a lifelong bartender, but I think that there's a lot of people that wish they could do more and just all of a sudden they fall into this comfort zone and then years go by and it's like, holy crap. I mean, it's scary to take chances. It's really scary.

And I think that I feel so grateful for going on the show The Bachelor because, I mean, for everyone that we've met in our Bachelor family, I mean, like, we all just said yes to a crazy opportunity that was so out of the norm. And we just like went into it and we like surrendered into it. it and it's taken us on this river of opportunities and either you pull over because it's too tumultuous for you to handle or you just continue to ride it and then you learn the attitude that you want when you're on the river like is it is it hard is it you know uncomfortable or is it like an exciting adventure and you can't wait to see what's around the bend totally i remember before we went on the show i'm sorry now i'm on a tangent i'm sorry actually we're rapping

It's okay. I'm not. I love the conversation. I just want to say one last thing because it's along the same lines that you were talking about when deciding going on the show or not. And I remember having a moment to myself thinking, why would I not go on the show? And it was because I was scared. I was scared of what people would think of me. And it brought me back to another quote, which was people make decisions based out of fear all the time and they disguise it as practicality. and I knew that if I didn't do the show it was because I was making excuses and it was really because I was scared

and so I ended up going on the show and it worked out well because now I'm engaged your only real real risk in life that you took that's not true I take risks all the time I don't take them all but I take some risk well what's the last risk you took

I mean I'm in LA okay yeah that's a fair we're together that was a risk you took a risk he's not But you live in LA because of me. No gel on the wedding day?

That's going to be a big risk. That's awesome. Well, I want to take this opportunity to just call out to make Jared feel very awkward. I, he, his dream is to work in movies. And this is like his next big, this is like a leap that he would love to take, but has no idea how to get into. Where are you going to? So I want to know of any of our listeners. want to email Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com and just let us know if there's any

opportunities at any movie studios or anything where Jared could involve himself further in the movie industry. And he's looking at me with total judgment right now. No, we all have, the three of us had this conversation the other night. But we did. And we were talking about Jared living on his dreams and owning it and being unapologetic about it. So tell us right here, right now, your dream. Own it. I want to go home. no tell us you got it you got to name it you got to claim it put it out there you're putting it out there i don't know nope yes you do i don't know sure work in movies yeah i agree you want to she'd like to write produce direct act any of that yeah i just love films i love the idea of creating a story

from scratch and creating a world and characters and uh and really telling a compelling story and so that's why I love movies. And I love the there's just, it's the creative side of it that really gets me. Anyway, we don't have to talk about this. We're talking about four weddings and a funeral. That's what we're talking about. If you guys have any

jobs out there. Good Lord. It's Ben and Ashley at iHeartMedia.com. Anyway, that's a good way to wrap it off. I also just wanted to throw in there some things that I felt about gifts for weddings. I think it also has to do with how far

and how much you traveled to go to the wedding, I think it has to do with how close you are to the couple. Yeah, so there's all different factors in there. Like, Jared and I went to this wedding in Nashville. We spent so much money to get there. Well, you know, yeah, it was expensive. And you're, it's a nice friend of yours. Oh, yeah, a great friend.

But, like, we definitely wouldn't have, we didn't give as much as we normally would have because it was such an expense, I think. Yeah, of course. And everybody has a factor then, which is why I want people to factor it in when they come to Rour wedding. Yeah, totally. No, no, no, I feel the exact same way

people who are coming in from like flights okay coming in from like flights yes not horseback or so if you're coming in for one of our flights or you're just going to watch four weddings and a funeral at home on your couch is the new hulu original series that focuses on the lives of four college friends and their different relationship and career crises in the premiere the friends gather for a wedding that is filled with drama and surprises Maya messes up at Ainsley's wedding. Why do you unexpected things always happen at weddings? There's always something. Our wedding planner is like all these horrible things are going to happen and you're not even going to know about them because I'm going to take care of it completely. And then I'll tell you

the next day what happened. Amazing. Yeah. Jerry. Yeah, he's a good one. Do you still want to you, he wants to kill me for for no, but no, continue. All right. Well, I will make sure to inform you guys of all the crises that happen behind the scenes at our wedding. But for right now you can catch all the drama in four weddings and a funeral a new rom-com series produced by mindy kaling premiering july 31st only on hulu hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and one of hear people with mental illness, psychobabble, then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.

Open your free iHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden you hear this. Attention passengers. The pilot is having an emergency and we need someone, anyone to land this plane. Think you could do it? It turns out that nearly 50% of men think that they could land the plane with the help of air traffic control. And they're saying like, okay, pull this, pull that, turn this. It's just, I can do it my eyes close.

I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And on our new show, no such thing. We get to the bottom of questions like these. Join us as we talk to the leading expert on overconfidence. Those who lack expertise lack the expertise they need to recognize that they lack expertise.

And then, as we try the whole thing out for real. Wait, what? Oh, that's the run right. I'm looking at this thing. Listen to no such thing on the Iheart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, sis, what if I could promise you you never had to listen to a condescending finance, bro,

tell you how to manage your money again. Welcome to Brown Ambition. This is the hard part when you pay down those credit cards. If you haven't gotten to the bottom of why you were racking up credit or turning to credit cards, you may just recreate the same problem a year from now. When you do feel like you are, bleeding from these high interest rates. I would start shopping for a debt consolidation loan, starting with your local credit union, shopping around online, looking for some online lenders because

they tend to have fewer fees and be more affordable. Listen, I am not here to judge. It is so expensive in these streets. I 100% can see how in just a few months you can have this much credit card debt when it weighs on you. It's really easy to just like stick your head in the sand. It's nice and dark in the sand. Even if it's scary, it's not going to go away. Just because you're avoiding it, and in fact, it may get even worse. For more judgment-free money advice, listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. A foot washed up a shoe with some bones in it. They had no idea who it was. Most everything was burned up pretty good from the fire that not a whole lot was salvageable.

These are the coldest of cold cases, but everything is about to change. Every case that is a cold case that has DNA right now and about. backlog will be identified in our lifetime. A small lab in Texas is cracking the code on DNA. Using new scientific tools, they're finding clues in evidence so tiny you might just miss it. He never thought he was going to get caught. And I just looked at my computer screen. I was just like, ah, gotcha.

On America's Crime Lab, we'll learn about victims and survivors. And you'll meet the team behind the scenes at Othrum, the Houston Lab that takes on the most hopeless cases. to finally solve the unsolvable. Listen to America's Crime Lab on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Everyone thinks they'd never join a cult. But it happens all the time to people just like you.

And people just like us. I'm Lola Blanc. And I'm Megan Elizabeth. We're the hosts of Trust Me, a podcast about cults, manipulation, and the psychology of belief. Each week we talk to fellow survivors, former believers, and experts

to understand why people get pulled in and how they get out. Trust me, new episodes every Wednesday on exactly right. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. All right, guys. Well, thank you for joining me for this extended podcast,

a very, very long one that I thought was going to be a short beat, but it was so good because everybody loves to talk about wedding so much. Yay, Wednesday. Thanks for being my co-host to my future husband. Of course. my almost husband the final countdown the final countdown you know my life is the best you're going

to love it and it for people who say it doesn't feel any different they're wrong okay it feels i like that it feels so freaking awesome that's so great that's really great to hear you're so happy oh thanks crystal all right guys thank you so much again for feedback on anything we talked about today please email ben and ashartmedia.com And until next time, I've been Ashley. I've been Jared. And I've been Crystal. Tudaloo!

Ciao! Follow the Ben and Ashley I, almost famous podcast on IHartRadio, or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.