The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Almost Famous In Depth: Blake Moynes

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

You’ve seen Blake Moynes find love on The Bachelorette, but now things are totally different since his relationship with Katie Thurston ended. Ben sits down with Blake to hear about everything that ...happened from Blake’s perspective, and hear the story of his life BEFORE The Bachelorette. This is an intimate conversation that you can only find on the Almost Famous podcast. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your... free iHeartRadio app, search emergency intercom, and listen now. If a baby is giggling in the backseat, they're probably happy. If a baby is crying in the back seat,
Starting point is 00:00:40 they're probably hungry. But if a baby is sleeping in the back seat, will you remember they're even there? When you're distracted, stressed, or not usually the one who drives them, the chances of forgetting them in the back seat are much higher. It can happen to anyone. Parked cars get hot fast
Starting point is 00:00:58 and can be deadly. So get in the habit of checking the back seat when you leave. The message from NHTSA and the Ad Council. I was diagnosed with cancer on Friday and cancer free the next Friday. No chemo, no radiation, none of that. On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us podcast, I sat down with Warren Campbell, Grammy-winning producer, pastor, and music executive
Starting point is 00:01:16 to talk about the beats, the business, and the legacy behind some of the biggest names in gospel, R&B, and hip-hop. Professionally, I started at Death World Records. From Mary Mary to Jennifer Hudson, we get into the soul of the music and the purpose that drives it. Listen to Culture raises us
Starting point is 00:01:32 on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and, of course, the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open.
Starting point is 00:01:46 The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, an IHeart women's sports production in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHeart Radio, app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:02:01 Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I'll take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah. This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming?
Starting point is 00:02:21 I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the same, go off on me. I deserve it. You know, lock him up. Listen to No Such Thing on the Eye. Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. No such thing. This is Ben and Ashley I, Almost Famous In-Depth.
Starting point is 00:02:41 Blake, thanks for joining this in-depth episode on the Almost Famous Podcast. We're pumped to have you. Thanks for having me. It's been a little bit since I've done something like this, so. Yeah, hopefully you're nervous. You know what? You know what? Weirdly I was.
Starting point is 00:02:55 I was sitting there, I was drinking a coffee. I was like, it's got to be the coffee because I shouldn't You're nervous for them, I guess. Yeah, I, it happens to me. I don't know what it is, but if I go a bit without, you know, having a camera around, which I do, I go a long part of my life now with no cameras around. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get nervous.
Starting point is 00:03:15 It's weird how you can just step away for a bit and then you get back into it. You even have an interview to talk about your life and things feel odd or off. And it should just come off naturally. It's just like you're like waiting for something you might not know how to, it's just like a, I think it's natural, right? to yeah it's got to be whenever there's a camera or a microphone a little unsettling something it's not natural well how are you doing how you holding up uh what's going on in your life you know what i'd say i'm good only because it's been time right like time heals a lot of things
Starting point is 00:03:43 and time just allowed you to kind of reflect and just move past that kind of the mayhem that's kind of happened over the last little bit things are really good now you know i'm focusing on myself which i need it and then things are good yeah so let's dig into the good a little bit We're going to talk about, obviously, some of the harder times recently in your life. Let's talk about some of the good. When you say you're good, is there some things that you've had to step away from or refocus on to get back to a place where you're feeling good? Yeah, I would say one.
Starting point is 00:04:18 I think the main thing was because I've been so wrapped up in, you know, trying to find a person over last year and a half is completely blanking out women, to be honest, just because because that's the one thing that's kind of toyed with my mind over the last little bit. So it's taking a step back, I'm going to say focusing on me, but focusing on things that make me happy, which is wildlife, the outdoors, just family, obviously. But I'm just following my passion really diving into that. And it's really playing out nicely. And that's where I'm finding the most happiness.
Starting point is 00:04:48 So I'm going to continue to follow that trail until it leads me elsewhere. Yeah. You know, I have a lot that we could probably relate on and go back and forth on. it comes to our experiences on the show and kind of the good and the bad and the difficult afterwards and that that healing process of yet trying to get back to a level place a place that you know you're not always hurt you're not as angry um and you can get passionate about something again that takes time it felt like for me the only thing that healed it was just time and getting used to the new normal and i think too part of
Starting point is 00:05:27 of it is control. I think you lose some control coming off. It's a whole new experience coming off it. And you don't know how to manage it. And so you feel like you don't know what you're doing in a way. And so now I'm just kind of gaining back some control in my life and making my decisions and just falling into what makes me calm again. Yeah. Well, let's start at the beginning then. And we'll catch up with where you're at currently. Sure. Obviously, you were seen on The Bachelor at. What made you want to go on the show in the first place. Full on, it was a combination of a, not even a, I would say it was, it was a dare in a way,
Starting point is 00:06:04 like, you're a very out there guy. You always do new experience and your adventures. The only guy that's not single, or is single, why don't you go try one of these dating shows, you know, what you're still single. So I went on, well, I applied first. And then when I got the first call, I was Canadian, anything I was going to get on this US show. Then when I had my first interview, I had a good feeling I was going to get on.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Then I started taking seriously. And then I started blanking out girls in my life. And I was like, I don't know, take this seriously. it's going to be I potentially Claire or two others and so I just dove in and then when you got there well I would say three months before I found I was going to be Claire then I started like really diving in and being like okay how can I learn everything about her that's where I made a mistake of building her up to be like this is the what yeah that's the mistake I continue to make and that's why I'm done now building up someone based on what I think they are on on Instagram before I even meet them
Starting point is 00:06:52 and that's where a new approach we can talk about that later as to how I'm good going to go about meeting girls down the line. We can talk about it now, too. What, like, what is your new approach? Well, man, I just think that, you know, we have all these apps. We have Instagram, we all these things where we can get so attracted to somebody because people spill their life through social media. So you can get attached to that and thinking of, you know somebody based on an app or
Starting point is 00:07:15 social media or photos or video and then it can come to real life and it's, it's not organic. The vibe isn't there. The energy isn't there. And you like almost, you set yourself up for failure because it's not. organic. It's not like the old days where people met organically and it was like this nice, you know what I mean? I want to try it like the old days. I want to meet you in person. I don't want to put an emphasis on what I think you are before I meet you. And so taking a step back from doing that going forward. Do you find like you find any of that comes from maybe like a personal
Starting point is 00:07:48 either insecurity or maybe even a personal like inflated ego? For me it came from a place of insecurity. I would see people on social media or I'd see them in public. Yeah. And I would build them up and I would never feel like I could be good enough for them. I never felt like I could connect with them. And so I'd end up just retreating and pushing away and never actually allowing myself to get to know them as a human. So for you, where does that come from? Like, so you're saying, so you're asking me, why did I build them up on Instagram? Like what? Yeah, why do you build these people up to a place where you're so into it already, like you're so committed to it already that like it ultimately is probably going to be a little disappointing once you finally get to be around them
Starting point is 00:08:34 because nobody's as great as their social media. Nobody's as great as what they are on television. Well, that's the issue. It's like I'm realizing that that's the case. So, you know, I would just build them up based on what they're showing, but then I come to real life, like social media gives us a false indication of what people are. And I've realized that. So it's not necessarily that I'm building up because I didn't think that I was going to be good enough for them. you can lay at all your best cards on social media. So we see that. And so you're almost always going to be let down otherwise.
Starting point is 00:09:01 And so I'm done with being scammed in a way. You know, I think this is a bad, could be looked at in a bad way, but it's like we are the best version of ourselves on Instagram and social media platform. So I'm just taking a step back from that. I'm not sure that I have,
Starting point is 00:09:17 like they're building them up. It's just like, that's what they show. So it's like, wow, all the box are checked here. Like, and it's not necessarily the case. Do you feel like that? I mean, obviously, you go on this television show. It's, I don't know, 12 weeks of filming.
Starting point is 00:09:36 It's a condensed environment. There's a lot of really fantastic dates. You have no distractions. Nobody's pulling at you to do anything. Do you feel like being on the show had a similar feeling for you where even, you know, yourself or the guys involved there for Katie and Claire,
Starting point is 00:09:56 you were getting a false sense of what life looked like? Yeah, I mean, I, you know, the thing is, I'm not specifically speaking to, you know, Claire Tatia, Katie, like, building, I built Claire up for sure, but the other two, not necessarily. But when I got there, yeah, I mean, you know, everything was perfect there.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Everything was perfect there. And, you know, I think that's a combination of things. I think we really did vibe and mesh really, well when I'm talking about Katie specifically. But you know, we didn't have one thing hold us back. Really, I mean, aside from, you know, some of the Greg stuff that happened, our dates, every conversation we had,
Starting point is 00:10:36 it was up and up, we didn't have a little setback. So it just like, it was easy to fall in love. It was easy to get there. It was easy to feel like this was the most incredible thing ever. And then real life came and it was, yeah, I don't explain how, that feeling was of trying to reel it back in and make it like no but it was like this on the show like where it was just a little setback but the more setbacks that came it was very clear that this
Starting point is 00:11:05 was going in a wrong direction and there's no way of trying to reel it back because we were in a honeymoon stage and we were not acting like it was a honeymoon stage so there's something clearly wrong with that that's uh yeah that's how i'd explain it too you know my experience was like hey um something was off especially now i'm married right and Yeah. I have a terrific wife and we have really hard times where she probably doesn't like me very much. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:34 But there's a difference to that. Like that's, there's never a, there's never a doubt. There's never a question. So can you explain what it was like for you walking through that season? And then when can you come to the realization that, hey, this isn't my partner? And that's fine, but this isn't my partner. Yeah. It was very clear for both.
Starting point is 00:11:54 of us when we spent the first long chunk of time together, and that was about a three-week period of time in New York and then in San Diego, which I have discussed before, and that was the first, you know, big chunk that we just, we were realizing we're compatible in a lot of different ways. And I was expecting, I think we were both expecting to have a really amazing time and love San Diego, she had a new place and stuff. And it just, from day to day, there was just tension that I don't really know how to explain it. We were just not delivering what each other needed during that time frame.
Starting point is 00:12:34 And it was that three weeks that ultimately ended it. I didn't see her for a while after that because I did go to Kenya, you know, with a combination of those two things built up. And it was just like, what are we, what are we doing? And we decided to pull the plug. Well, I do want to take one step back here. It's such an interesting. I mean, so many people can relate to that, too, what you just said, right?
Starting point is 00:12:57 You're dating somebody. Things are great. And then you just have this moment of clarity and realization that maybe it's not as good as I thought it was going to be. And how much of the show then through, you know, clarinetious season and then your season on Katie's, like, prepped you for these moments. You know, one of the things that a lot of contestants get off and talk about is their ability to communicate. increases. How much prep for you as a person did you feel like you got through going on these seasons to be in a long-term relationship? Yeah, I would say it gave me prep,
Starting point is 00:13:35 but it also, like, in some ways, I feel like gave me setback for your confidence in your ego thinking you know what, you know what you're doing. You know, I think when you fail that many times in a row and you fail as big as that, it's a brings you back to real. life a little bit. You don't know as much and you're not as ready as you may have thought you were, which kind of sucks because we're at a point in our life, well, I am anyways. We're like, I want to be, you know. So in terms of setting me up, I think, you know, failure is no matter what and no matter how big the failure is always going to give you growth in some capacity. I continue to narrow down what I like more, which again, I think scares me in a way because
Starting point is 00:14:16 I'm just in my, am I making myself? my partner is am I going to be more picky because the more failures I'm like well I know what I don't want it and now I'm going to like narrow it down narrow it down narrow it down am I being too picky is it now am I putting it on me do I need to be more open I don't know which way to go you know and I hope that it just falls in my lap instead of chasing it the way I have been but I'm kind of lost that sense like and I that's why I'm trying to focus on myself most because I don't have the answer Ben I don't have it yeah you know Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor.
Starting point is 00:14:56 And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Open your free... My Heart Radio app, search emergency intercom, and listen now. My name is Ed. Everyone say, hello, Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not, like...
Starting point is 00:15:34 What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one. expected to hear. The 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man
Starting point is 00:15:56 had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder takes center stage.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Available now. Listen to Wisecrack on the Iron Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, and in session 421 of therapy for black girls, I sit down with Dr. Ophia and Billy Shaka to explore how our hair connects to our identity, mental health, and the ways we heal. Because I think hair is a complex language system, right, in terms of it can tell how old you are, your marital status, where you're from, you're a spiritual belief.
Starting point is 00:16:47 But I think with social media, there's like a hyperfixation. and observation of our hair, right? That this is sometimes the first thing someone sees when we make a post or a reel is how our hair is styled. We talk about the important role hairstylists play in our community, the pressure to always look put together,
Starting point is 00:17:05 and how breaking up with perfection can actually free us. Plus, if you're someone who gets anxious about flying, don't miss session 418 with Dr. Angela Neil Barnett, where we dive into managing flight anxiety. Listen to therapy for black girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Get fired up, y'all.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Season 2 of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people and an incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino, to the show, and we had a blast. We talked about her recent 40th birthday celebrations, co-hosting a podcast with her fiancé Sue Bird, watching former teammates retire and more. Never a dull moment with Pino. Take a listen.
Starting point is 00:17:48 What do you miss the most about being a pro athletes? late. The final. The final. And the locker room. I really, really, like, you just, you can't replicate, you can't get back. Showing up to locker room every morning just to shit talk. We've got more incredible guests like the legendary Candace Parker and college superstar A. Z. Fudd. I mean, seriously, y'all, the guest list is absolutely stacked for season two. And, you know, we're always going to keep you up to speed on all the news and happenings around the women's sports world as well. So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Don't let biased algorithms or degree screens or exclusive professional networks or stereotypes. Don't let anything keep you from discovering the half of the workforce who are stars. Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time to tear the paper ceiling and see the stars beyond it. Find out how you can make stars part of your talent strategy at tear the paper sealing.org. Brought to you by opportunity at work and the ad council. Well, it's hard too because as you were saying, part of the healing process for you is doing some of the things you love. And so by doing some of the things you love, are you now pushing aside so many of the other things out there and other people out there?
Starting point is 00:19:17 use the word that's interesting that I want to talk about you said chasing yeah I get it makes sense um is the chasing aspect you think why you went on the two seasons I mean you got you don't know if you call it heat or whatever but people were like you know would love to talk about how you went on a season it didn't really work out fully um for you and so then you went on the next season and people said hey he's just out here to be on the show but ultimately why did you choose to do both seasons and both seasons so quickly? Well, originally I was probably in the talks, while I was in the talks of going to Paradise.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Then when Katie was announced as a bachelor, like that's who I was thinking about, you know, seeing my eye, my eye was on her potentially going to Paris. As soon as she was a bachelor, I was like, okay, well, I can take the easy route and like take the last ski and go meet a bunch of different people, but she was the one that was different to me. We had the same humor, kind of crude,
Starting point is 00:20:16 a little vulgar unapologetically ourselves i felt like she was someone different that i haven't met before the other girls i don't know she just it was going to be different now it was scary because i knew and i got heat i got the heat that i knew i was going to get but it was either go do her season meet the girl that i wanted to meet in paradise that now i can't or i let that go and go two months later to paradise regardless it's a two months difference yes i went on right away but i'm just chasing the girl that i wanted to chase because i thought she was a match for me but I mean I ended up being that way and like I was right in that way but just not long term where it made the most where it means the most in real life would you
Starting point is 00:20:58 I mean do you regret it no I don't because and I this is and I explained this to somebody the other day when they ask me about it because that's the most that's the question I get the most I think and when I when I weigh them all out I remember how exciting and out happy I was in that moment, regardless of the outcome now, I was so happy. It was a feeling like I've never had before and experiencing a feeling of like truly feeling like it was love and this was going to be it. Right. And I wouldn't take that back even though it didn't work out because I remember how great it was. You know what I mean? So like that feeling and that experience and like, I can't. And I don't like to have regrets. I like to not live life that way. So as much
Starting point is 00:21:46 as I yeah in some way like it's a proposal that went to this and it wasn't my person and I did it on that stage and you kind of look like an idiot and all those things I still remember what that was like with her and I hope in some degree that she doesn't regret it either because it was a really amazing experience with her and that's the way I'm trying to look at it and be optimistic about it instead of being like why the hell did I do that dumbest decision ever I try not to look at it things that way. Why does it, I mean, why does it matter to you? She regrets it or not? I mean, you said that you hope she doesn't regret it either. Why does that play a role in your thought process? Because I want her, I, I think selfishly want to know that she was, because I have,
Starting point is 00:22:31 I have those doubts where of like, you know, potentially was I default, all those things with Greg, right? So I want to feel like this wasn't some fucking dumb, fake thing. I want her to be like, this was as real as, you know, those feelings, I had the same ones you had, you know, so it was on the same wavelength. I wasn't the same wavelength. You know, I don't want it to, if that makes sense, like, it's like, I wanted to feel as real on her end as it did for me. So I'm like, I hope that she was, and I, and I do, I really do believe that. I do. I do. I think. Yeah, it makes complete sense. It's so many people's reaction to a breakup is I just want to know that you cared to. Yeah. That's all I need. So have you had a chance to get closure from it?
Starting point is 00:23:17 Has there been any opportunity for you to get some of these questions answered? I mean, yes. I mean, we talked very cordially after we announced engagement in the breakup, and we were really good with that. And then obviously all the other stuff happened. And since then we have not spoke, but she has reached out to me. I just have not. been in a place yet to respond to it, especially at the time that it all kind of was unraveling. I didn't want to respond in a place of emotion and like right in the heat of things when I haven't had time to reflect. And there will be a time where I can respond to that and we will.
Starting point is 00:23:58 But there's no point in doing it where I'm going to speak out of emotion and in a place, like I need to let the time go where I can like step back. I'm not. I'm not over that. She's happy. She's making this. She made the decision, although, you know, I didn't. didn't like it. She made the best decision for her. Just like I would make the best
Starting point is 00:24:15 decision for me. It didn't play out the way I wanted it to and like it could have probably been handled different. But I have no time for a grudge. Grudge takes so much energy. Why? Why do I want to have a negative energy for? It's just a waste of time. And I do think, I do think she's a good person and it just like things played out not the great way. But I just don't have. I will get to that and I will respond to her and we will make up a hundred percent one day it's just not yet when it still feels kind of fresh yeah i mean i don't want to make me promise you you will get there right yeah yeah you know i remember the season where it felt like i was never going to get there and where like you know then you have jerks like me asking about your ex you know
Starting point is 00:24:57 every couple days you know it's my job i'm paid for this yeah yeah yeah i know for sure for sure you do get there right uh somebody asked me about uh the show today and it doesn't has no emotional toll on me takes no pain for me to talk about it but i would have oh it would have crushed me it crushed me for a you know a year and a half thing it it would it was a pain there was so much inside of me that i wanted to talk about that i couldn't talk about and that you know i was the same as you and i've said it like there's an anger too it's like i don't want to say something here i'm going to regret in five years there's no reason for that um and so it's a wise place to sit because regret hopefully be limited you know five years from now when
Starting point is 00:25:43 this isn't a pain in your life but it hurts man it hurts and then it hurts even worse and and i want this is you know something i want to talk to you about is like does it hurt to be talked about talking about it um you know it is fresh it is new she is dating somebody else that that that band date i remember i called one of the producers in the show when i found out you know that lorna moved on on social media and they're like here's the good part the band day's now been ripped off your wound is completely exposed there's only one way out of this and that's now for you to heal because for a while that band-a-was sitting on there so for you that wound is is has been open for a bit the band-aids off um does it hurt yes yes um i think just because i have just because there's
Starting point is 00:26:34 confusion right and i think as got like we want to know and have have the answers but i'm just for confusion to it, that although I've, you know, had the explanations and the reasons given to me, there's still, I don't think there will be, I'm hurt, but it won't be fully healed until I maybe ask a couple questions, right, and just clarify a couple things. Until then, it'll, it'll fester a little bit, but the majority of that pain is gone and I can live happy day to day and I'm good, but there's always be a little piece that won't heal until I have that wrap-up conversation with her eventually when that comes. And that just will take time to get there.
Starting point is 00:27:10 And it will come. I know it will because we're both mature. We are. And so it'll get there. It's just not yet. And I think I should be the one to determine that just because I was on the back end or the wrong end of it. And I'm just, it was, you know, if that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:27:25 Yeah. Yeah. It makes sense. We can relate in a lot of ways. And I'll stop here, continue to bring it back. but I, you know, just got a guy here and two people have been on the show, like, there is a time. I remember it. I was on a walk.
Starting point is 00:27:41 But you remember it specifically? I remember specifically. And I took this same walk every day for a year. And there was some day that I was walking. And it just like, there was like a piece, a weight lifted from my shoulders in my chest. And I said, you know what? It's this. I'm not going to carry this with me anymore.
Starting point is 00:27:59 I don't want to carry this with me. Actually, I'm good to not carry it with me. And at that moment, I've never said this publicly, but at that moment, you know, we both apologize to each other. And that was it. That's the last time we've really had like a discourse. Like there's random stuff that we have to like, we had to send away afterwards. But like, it's the last time we had a discourse and it felt good. Like, we're done. Like, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:28:20 She said she's sorry. And we moved on. And that's when I really felt like I could date again too. So I don't know when that's going to happen for you, but I do believe it will happen. I do. Yeah. I mean, in a way, I feel like it's, it's that conversation is sitting at the bottom of my to-do list right now. I'm definitely not making a priority. It's there. I know it's something that has to be done. You know, and so it lingers. You know, and you're like, I saw to do this. You know, this still has to happen at some point. I guess you could like scratch off or pretend it's something you don't have to do, but I know it'll be better for both of this. If we do, it definitely would be for me. So, yeah, it will come. It's definitely not a priority, but it will be. And I maybe I'll just have a day walking down. the street like you and it'll just happen yeah i mean i didn't expect it so yeah yeah hi my name is enya umanzor and i'm drew phillips and we run a podcast called
Starting point is 00:29:18 emergency intercom if you're a crime junkie and you love crimes we're not the podcast for you but if you have unmedicated ADHD oh my god perfect and want to hear people with with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. My name is Ed.
Starting point is 00:29:43 Everyone say hello, Ed. Hello, Ed. I'm from a very rural background myself. My dad is a farmer and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago.
Starting point is 00:30:00 I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family. And then he came to my house. So what do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? A new podcast called Wisecrack, where stand-up comedy and murder take center stage. Available now.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Listen to Wisecrack on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Dr. Joy Hardin Bradford, and in session 421 of Therapy for Black Girls, I sit down with Dr. Athea and Billie Shaka to explore how our hair connects to our identity, mental health, and the ways we heal. Because I think hair is a complex language system, right,
Starting point is 00:30:59 in terms of it can tell how old you are, your marital status, where you're from, you're a spiritual belief. But I think with social media, there's like a hyper fixation and observation of our hair, right, that this is sometimes the first thing someone sees when we make a post or a reel is how our hair is styled. You talk about the important role
Starting point is 00:31:19 hairstylists play in our community, the pressure to always look put together, and how breaking up with perfection can actually free us. Plus, if you're someone who gets anxious, about flying. Don't miss session 418 with Dr. Angela Neil Barnett, where we dive into managing flight anxiety. Listen to Therapy for Black Girls on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Get fired up, y'all. Season two of Good Game with Sarah Spain is underway. We just welcomed one of my favorite people and an incomparable soccer icon, Megan Rapino,
Starting point is 00:31:53 to the show, and we had a blast. We talked about her recent 40th birthday celebrations, co-hosting a podcast with her fiance Sue Bird, watching former teammates retire and more. Never a dull moment with Pino. Take a listen. What do you miss the most about being a pro athlete? The final. The final. And the locker room.
Starting point is 00:32:12 I really, really, like, you just, you can't replicate. You can't get back. Showing up to locker room every morning just to shit talk. We've got more incredible guests like the legendary Candace Parker and college superstar A.Z. Fudd. I mean, seriously, y'all. the guest list is absolutely stacked for season two. And, you know, we're always going to keep you up to speed
Starting point is 00:32:33 on all the news and happenings around the women's sports world as well. So make sure you listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Capital One, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports. Don't let biased algorithms or degree screens or exclusive professional networks or stereotypes. Don't let anything. thing keep you from discovering the half of the workforce who are stars.
Starting point is 00:33:03 Workers skilled through alternative routes rather than a bachelor's degree. It's time to tear the paper ceiling and see the stars beyond it. Find out how you can make stars part of your talent strategy at tear the paper sealing.org. Brought to you by opportunity at work in the ad council. You know, when the news came out, Ashley, my, uh, my usual co-host, who can't be with us right now because she's a mother of us. Yes. Yes. Congratulations, Ashley. It's a question that gets asked from breakups. And I told her, I would ask you this. And we've been super intrigued. And our listeners seem to
Starting point is 00:33:45 really like to hear everybody's thoughts on this. How, but you're in the heart of it. How long is too long or too short to move into a relationship post a breakup? Is there an appropriate time is there not like what are your thoughts around this that's a good question i would say you need to do whatever is best to do that makes you happy so we all have to be selfish i think overall like unless like i will get over the fact that she made her decisions that moved on so i will eventually get over that she is happy she made the decision to do that because it made her happy. All we want in life is to be happy. We can't think about everybody else as much as we want to, but you've really got to think about yourself first. And yes, sometimes that's going to throw people
Starting point is 00:34:36 to the wayside that you ultimately loved, cared about all those things. But when it comes down to it, it maybe could have been announced a little later, all those things, you know, in the ways that she did it. I don't know what that. I don't, I think, you can't put a number on it because every circumstance is so different, every relationship is so different. The person, like, if it ended a little bit differently, there could be more of a part of my French, but like a screw you. And it's like, I don't care about it. It depends where you're at with that person, what the discussion was.
Starting point is 00:35:10 There's so many things I think that go into that. You can't put a solid number being like, hey, after three months, it's good for everybody to move. No, I think it's circumstantial. And I think you need to, you need just to be happy. And whatever that decision is, everyone else will get on with it. happiness rules all so you have a unique situation where you know obviously this is so public yeah it's been so much a part of your story right now more than most breakups but the other side of this is that you have it is so public you have gone through a breakup and now you have
Starting point is 00:35:42 people supporting you some people have to do this alone uh they get broken up with and they sit alone and they don't nobody gets it at least you have people that have opinion probably mostly positive but some negative yeah do you for anybody listening who is uh in the midst of or going through healing from a really hard breakup do you mind sharing your experience uh when you found out uh what you did who you reached out to how you found support how you felt um so hopefully somebody listening maybe that's alone in this can can feel like yeah i i get it too yeah i i take are you are you talking in the example of somebody else that would be in the public eye some are just generically just breakups in general that have you know tabloids writing about
Starting point is 00:36:28 their break in yeah yeah um you know i would say find that thing that makes you happiest outside of your person focus on that whether it's you know the volunteer work or something that can take your distraction away the people i rely on obviously you go right to family first and you know i want to be told straight everything that they feel about the whole situation i don't want it to be sugar-coded. And then I would say not to jump into, you know, talking to other people and like the whole rebound thing right away because it's just, again, putting like a band-aid on something you haven't been healed through yet. I mean, I really just took time. I really dove into my wildlife conservation stuff because it really
Starting point is 00:37:13 made me the happiest. And, you know, in some degree, I think depending on how that how it ends, sometimes it can make it easier the way that she did it uh and moved on so quick it was like hey well we're not getting back together especially based on the song that she played for me in her 12 days a breakup of never getting never never never ever getting back together right so you know that that that was tough i i you know for for those in the sidelines they probably thought oh crap maybe got a giggle for those in it like you that probably heard i would assume yeah yeah it was i definitely was uh unexpected um but yeah i think depending on how it all ends too right like it's so circumstantial do you take the time you focus on the things that make you happiest
Starting point is 00:38:02 and just always got to remember like you think back of old relationships i remember the first relationship i had where i was like high school sweetheart thought i was love i remember i was in a hard depression like a month i moved it way like i was nuts and i thought i was never going to find someone better than her and i thought it was all over but the relationship I've had after that were so much better. Things always, you know, get better. You grow from it. You know, they always get better. So although you feel like you lost the world in a sense, yeah, she probably wasn't the world if she's not with you. And you're going to find something probably better. And that's what I find with all like depression situations, all those things.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Like all those times you freaked out, overthought about all these things. How did it actually end up? Was it really as bad as you thought? Did you find like everything will work itself out in the time. but you got to look back on your own life experience and think about how you've moved through things and where you are where you why and why it's a really wise word man i mean it is i'm sitting here thinking i'm like jeez look at you know look at the story of the people i know my buddy goes through a divorce he marries in a wonderful woman three years later uh that he loves and loves him and you know for me i go through a public breakup and i feel like i've lost everything and then i meet my wife and i'm like i can't imagine my life without her like i can't imagine it does and
Starting point is 00:39:17 it's such a good lesson for those who are in the midst of something so hard is to know that yes, right now it feels like the world is falling down around you and that there's the biggest weight in cloud over everything that you do. But it continue. Like keep taking those steps forward because it will get better. And we have to remember that because it sometimes doesn't feel that way. Exactly. But I know what. The thing is people always look to other people to be like, you know, they got over this. How do they do that? But look at your own life. There's a lot of things that you're probably overlooking that you've done in your life that you've stepped up for overcome all these things that you're not thinking about that have like this is just another one of
Starting point is 00:39:55 those things so move past it because you'll look back on this and be like oh my god why was I so yes some of them are gonna be more challenging than the others but there's a reason where you are and so look back on your own experiences because there's probably a lot in your life and you went through that you're not really taking the time to appreciate respect for yourself so well to close up here with you. I really appreciate your time and your honesty. I think it's going to relate to many out there. And your story is, yes, it wasn't the public eye. But if we can take that element away, it's incredibly relatable to so many. Where you sit now, what are you looking forward to? Where does life go for you? Like, what dreams do you have for 2022 in the years beyond?
Starting point is 00:40:41 If you could close this out with just, you know, where is Blake going to go? Where do you, what you dream of buddy you know i i i started to become a lot more just ambitious and really realizing that you know this there's a lot of crazy things that happen in this life but it's short and so i love to um continue this ambitious path find someone that wants to live that adventurous ambitious life with me i'm super happy as i am single alone but i know that it could be elevated with that right person until then i'm not going to chase it i'm not going to think i know what i want i hope just falls in my lap. Until then, I'm going to continue to focus on the things I love, and that's focusing on wildlife conservation and animals and try to do some good in the world,
Starting point is 00:41:24 and hopefully that that karma falls back in my lap with the right person one day, and I can continue to just follow that dream and that passion with them. Well, you know, it would be inappropriate if I didn't ask, you know, give us some ways that people are listening and in some organizations you're a part of and some things that if they want to, you know, help out with as well, what are those organizations and how can people best support you? Oh, she's. Okay, great organizations.
Starting point is 00:41:50 I would start off with World Animal News, Katie Cleary, who does a really amazing job, wrapping up all the most important animal-related news in the world and things that we could do to step up and help out. Aside from that Big Life Foundation, where I was out in Kenya, working with them and really bringing to light all the poaching issues, human-wildlife conflict as it pertains to elephants
Starting point is 00:42:14 and the ivory trade and Rhino Horn, careful. There's so many. If you go to my Instagram and or our Mowgli Moines Fund where I do support a lot of these organizations, DM me if you really need some help in direction or just see who I'm following. And those are the right organizations to follow. Great, man.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Well, thanks for sitting down with us. Thanks for sharing. Are you watching Clayton's season? I've watched the first two episodes. I haven't since. I'm trying to, it gives me weird feelings right now. Like this last date, someone told me, me that Clayton went on a, you know, a horse date to a country singer date.
Starting point is 00:42:48 And that was my one-on-one on Acadia. I'm just like, I don't need to, I don't need to go back there, you know, I don't need to. Yeah, take some time. Yeah. The show will be there when you're ready. Yes, exactly. I promise. It's, it never goes away. It's, for sure. It's the cockroach that keeps on living. Hey, that's a good way to put it. Blake, thank you again for joining the almost famous podcast. This in-depth episode has been fantastic. Worst and the best. Our listeners are going to wish you the best. If you're listening, go out there and support Blake. Tell them you, tell him you got his back and, you know, the best thing about this, Blake, I'll tell you, I'll close it here. Sure. Everybody was, you know, Team Ben or Team Lauren.
Starting point is 00:43:29 And ultimately, that wasn't helpful either way. I didn't want people to be on my side or not her side, and her side, not my side. Ultimately, We can lift each other both up and say, hey, we're going to do our best things and there's a good life in front of you. And I wish that for you, man, and we all do. I appreciate that, man. I really do because it's been crazy. So take all the support we can get. That's right, man.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Hey, thanks, Blake. Of course, take care. Blake, appreciate you, man. Thanks for doing this. No sweat. Enjoy the rest of your trip there. Yeah, give Kobe a hug for me if you don't mind. Yeah, well, Mr. Queen, too.
Starting point is 00:44:06 All right, buddy. All right, man. Take care. Later. Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcasts on IHartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi, my name is Enya Umanzor.
Starting point is 00:44:18 And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.
Starting point is 00:44:38 Yes. Yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free IHeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. In sitcoms, when someone has a problem, they just blurt it out and move on. Well, I lost my job and my parakeet is missing. How is your day?
Starting point is 00:44:57 But the real world is different. Managing life's challenges can be overwhelming. So, what do we do? We get support. The Huntsman Mental Health Institute and the Ad Council have mental health resources available for you at Loveyourmindtay.org. That's loveyourmindtay.org. See how much further you can go when you take care of your mental health.
Starting point is 00:45:16 Culture eats strategy for breakfast, right? On a recent episode of Culture Raises Us, I was joined by Valicia Butterfield, media founder, political strategist, and tech powerhouse for a powerful conversation on storytelling, impact, and the intersections of culture and leadership. I am a free black woman. From the Obama White House to Google to the Grammys,
Starting point is 00:45:37 Valicia's journey is a masterclass in shifting culture and using your voice to spark change. Listen to Culture raises us on the IHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. The U.S. Open is here, and on my podcast, Good Game with Sarah Spain. I'm breaking down the players, the predictions, the pressure, and of course the honey deuses, the signature cocktail of the U.S. Open. The U.S. Open has gotten to be a very wonderfully experiential sporting event. To hear this and more, listen to Good Game with Sarah Spain, and IHart Women's Sports Production
Starting point is 00:46:07 in partnership with Deep Blue Sports and Entertainment on the IHart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Brought to you by Novartis, founding partner of IHeart Women's Sports Network. Why are TSA rules so confusing? You got a hood of you. I take it all! I'm Manny. I'm Noah.
Starting point is 00:46:24 This is Devin. And we're best friends and journalists with a new podcast called No Such Thing, where we get to the bottom of questions like that. Why are you screaming? I can't expect what to do. Now, if the rule was the... same go off on me i deserve it you know lock him up listen to no such thing on the i heart
Starting point is 00:46:40 radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcast no such thing this is an i heart podcast

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