The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast - Almost Famous OG: A Golden First Date with Deanna Pappas Part 1

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

Our Bachelor Nation OGs Bob Guiney and Trista Sutter are back for a check in on the current Bachelorette season with Deanna Pappas! We hear all about Deanna's pickle ball date with Gerry, the upcoming Golden Bachelor.  And Deanna tries to convince us to sympathize with Xavier, but how much can you get away with simply because you're "young"??See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is an I-Heart podcast. Hi, my name is Enya Eumanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

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Listen to Brown Ambition on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. This is the almost famous podcast with IHeartRadio. We are so excited to welcome Deanna to our podcast today. And for this podcast, we're going to chat all about charities, men tell all, which Deanna and I were lucky enough to be there for. That was so much fun to see you and Des, obviously. But I just, I love our catch-up sessions. So, awesome. I feel like it's always like a hard yes anytime they ask me to come and record

because I'm like, oh, I get to see my best friends. Great. I know, right? I'm just happy that they brought, that they brought back. I mean, because Trista and I have talked about this a bunch. She's always like, they never asked me to come back. It's like, you know, so I'm just really glad they brought you both back with Des. I think that's awesome.

I know. we were having this conversation because, you know, we obviously, Bob, you know this. We get there all day. We hang out. We have drinks. We get ready, whatever. And they were, as soon as I walked in, I was the first one there. And they were like, okay, this is your room. This one's Trista's room. And then this one's Desire's room. I'm like, we're all going to be in the same room all day's room. That is exactly what we did. We hung out all day long. Because we haven't seen each other in some time. So we all literally sat in my room and chatted and got ready together all day long. So it was like, I mean, for me, I was like, I would have done it for free. But, you know, she don't tell. them. Right. Yeah, it's so much fun. So welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you. I see you, at least see you on the screen. And it was so much fun. I don't know about you, but I just adore charity, right? Yeah, she's super sweet. She seems really sweet. It comes too on the screen. I haven't watched. I'm not the best Bachelorette fan. in the world because I do not spend my Monday nights watching the show absolutely. And I have not in several seasons. So I was definitely

playing catch up. But I just thought she was just so sweet. And I would say after meeting her in person, she is a true testament to like who she was on television versus the same person in person. She's just so tiny. She's so tiny. She is tiny. I feel like everyone always says that because they see you on television. And especially for me, they're always like, whoa, I just thought you were so much taller. Actually, every time I show my friends pictures of me and you, they're like, oh my gosh, Trista's so much shorter than you.

And I was like, well, she's tiny too. But yes, it was like, as Bob said, I have mentioned it so many times on the podcast that I'm like, did I do something wrong to somebody, like executive, producer, whatever? and because I felt like they never asked me back. And, you know, usually it's like to give advice and listen, I get it. The world has changed a whole lot since Ryan and I got engaged and married and we were on the show. But I'm like, you know, we have a little bit of knowledge I would hope after almost 20 years of marriage. So I was really thankful that they asked me back.

and just so thankful that they had you and does too because I do feel like, you know, on our little Bachelorette group chat text sessions, it's like the three of us are kind of the OGs that are part of that. I mean, I guess who was before you? Obviously, Meredith and Jen. So that would have been.

You were the first. No, Gillian was after me. I was in the jail. So you were the first and then it was. So it is you after me, Jen, and then me. So we are legit, the old gals. Yeah, the original guys, you're the original gals. We are before they started forking out a lot of money to do the show and going to these exceptional, like, old cows.

Like, we went to Cabo, y'all. Yeah. Hey, that would have been exotic for me. I mean, I always say, like, we got to go on my season of The Bachelor. We were at Snake River, Wyoming. We went to Anchorage, Alaska. And then we did get to go to Belize. But again, all those trips were like three days.

You know, three days in a time. I talked about this a lot too, though, because the second I start complaining about not going anywhere fun, she was like, girl, I was in a hot tub in Seattle. And I was like, oh, yeah, you got me. You got me. Yeah. And I was in a hot tub at the base of the hill in Anchorage, Alaska with no heat. Oh, yeah.

That sounds like worse. Oh, just lovely. They were really pinching Kenny back then. No bubbles, but no heat. Like, it wasn't even a real hot tub. They fancied it out of like a couple intertubes. I swear to God. I say this all the time because you guys know this.

on the show a lot of people are always like oh my gosh tell me how this person is tell me how trista is blah blah blah and i always remember when i was the bachelorette i had never seen the show before and so i of course like asked about prior people and again because i was season four there were only a handful of people before me and i tell you what there was this one guy who was like the myth and the legend because everyone had a story about this one guy about how funny he was about how outgoing he was and also about how they used to find him in women's bed in the middle of the night. And they were like, we had to keep him on a tight leash. And I was like, this man, this man, how did he speak? I don't know why Graham Bon was doing that. Oh, I thought you made Graham Bun.

Oh, no. No, he's a solid dude. No, Bob. We are referring to you in the metaphorical sense that you, you've got a pretty good, pretty good story. I don't, I don't know if that's entirely true. I think so. Some of those details have gotten way better with time, because I sure don't remember that stuff. I don't remember getting a chance to see anybody throughout the course of the season, except on the show. He just did not the kissing. He was the kissing bandit. I was the kissing bandit, but I do think some of that stuff has become, like, folklore.

Like, I get asked about it sometimes. I'm like, we're that old. We're that old that we have become folklore. You know, I get asked something really funny. You want to talk about folklore. Okay. You guys also understand this because you're. you're, well, married, I'm no longer married, but children, you're doing the whole parenting

thing, whatever, and Trista, I about died the other day because I went to this pool party after school with a bunch of moms from my kids elementary school. Austin is in second grade and Addison is in fourth grade. And so I am at this girl's house with a couple of the other mom friends. We're all doing our mom thing, you know, just being moms and stuff. And none of them know who I am. You know what I mean? Like, I live just on the outside of Los Angeles and I feel like I live a pretty like under

the radar life. So I'm in full-on conversation with these women and I'm in my normal hat, no makeup. They have no clue who I am, right? So I'm starting to get to know some of the other's moms, the other moms sitting there. And this one lady's like, oh, so what did you do before you were a flight attendant? And I was like, oh, well, it's always weird to say what I did. Right. Totally agree.

You don't want to sound like you're bragging, but you also know they like you might know the show. You know, so I'm all, well, I had a small stint on reality TV. And the girl's like, oh, my gosh, no way. I worked in production in reality TV. And I was like, oh, no joke. Because, yeah, I worked on The Bachelor. And I was like, how do we not know each other? And she was like, yeah, I only worked on one season.

And I'm like, oh, which season? And she goes, Brad Womack's first season. And I was like, you literally do not recognize me. And she was like, no, no, I don't. And I was like, she was like, did you go home on like night one? And I was like, girl, I was a final one. And she was like, shut up. So that is really crazy.

I know. So I literally, she's like Google a photo and I pull up the one photo and it's the very last screenshot from the final day where I'm standing on the podium. I'm not going to be a big dragon tear coming down my face. Brad Womack is rejecting me in front of America. And she was like, oh, you know, totally. I was there. I thought that was so devastating.

And I was like, because it was. I mean, that just shows a set of trauma and abandonment. Is that why? That shows you how much production truly cares about. about us, right? Like, you're in the throes of all of this. And she's like, no, you weren't there. Oh, it didn't recognize you. She's a nicest lady. She was super nice. We're friends now. She actually lives in my neighborhood. But she was like, yeah, I totally had to write all of the storylines for every day. And I was like, how do you not remember me? How do you not know who I am? She was like,

I probably had a photo of you somewhere in my phone from 15 years ago. And I was like, probably. Oh, my gosh. That's crazy. So let's talk about mental all. We were there, but I have to say we were having so much fun like backstage behind the scenes getting ready just catching up and chatting and actually kind of getting filled in on what we hadn't seen um because of course we're filming something that would air later and so we hadn't seen the shows that had well at least i hadn't because you were watching but I'm with Dianna on that one. I know. So we were backstage just having fun with Fetman and some of the producers. And so we didn't see anything. But you've watched since, right, Dee?

Well, in my defense, I did do a crash course while I was getting ready to lead that day. I kind of zipped through a few episodes and tried to hit some of the hot points so I could at least... But have you seen the mental all? I did the same thing today. and fast forwarded through some of the pieces. But in my defense, I was also like, which ones are hot, which ones are going to be there today, which ones are going to go in and hug, how many roses will I receive tonight?

You know, what is, how is this going to work out for me? Totally. So I just wanted to make sure, because I'm pretty sure Bob has not watched. So I'm just laying the groundwork. I've watched Mentel Hall. A couple of the things that stood out were Xavier. So did you watch the Xavier part? remind me who Xavier is.

Xavier is the one who said he had been unfaithful in Fiji. Oh, yes. See, we have to figure out, I'm one of those people that keep people in my phone by like, you know, like airport John. You know what I mean? So we have to kind of describe,

so like, Earing guy. I don't know his name, but I know he worried. Braden. That's Brayden. And then there was the Hottie firefighter, and I only know him as the firefighter. Aaron. Ryan Sutter. This is now.

This is how we have to work. Okay, Xavier, I did watch, I did watch his bit. Yeah. Okay, good. So it was just frustrating to me that Xavier told her about his infidelity in Fiji during the overnights. And he hadn't told her beforehand. And I'm like, that totally took away time from anybody else getting time with her in Fiji. Like she completely could have asked another guy.

to come with her to Fiji knowing that it would definitely not have worked out with Xavier because infidelity is like her deal breaker. And I'm glad that she pointed that out. She kind of put him in his place. And I'm so glad she did. Like we were saying, especially you were saying, you know, you're strong. You are totally showing that you're independent. You're a strong woman and you stand up for what you believe in. And I felt like she totally did that. Like I was so proud of her for saying, why didn't you say this earlier? Like, why did you waste my time? And I get it that people make mistakes.

And he realizes that now he actually went to therapy, he said, and is starting to do the work that I feel like he should have done after the impidelity before he came on the show. But whatever, hindsight's 2020. So, I mean, people make mistakes. Understand that. But when you're in this arena and you have, all these other guys like you make mistakes but he didn't do anything to improve himself after he

changed after he did that and i'm just glad that he called him i want to play devil's advocate and it'll be interesting hearing uh bob's male perspective on this too so we can all sympathize with the fact that he's young you know what i mean okay right we've all been there we've all seen it we've all done it the other piece that we can and again i'm all for our charity in the way she's handled everything and I'm all for everything that she has to do with the show and about her, right? I was 24 when I went on The Bachelor. Yep.

24 is young. And even at 24, I had the wherewithal to know that you don't go on a date and air all of your dirty laundry and your baggage right off the bat because anyone gets scared away from that, right? No, I get that. Then you add the concept of being on a television show. So then he has to vocalize that, not just in front of. the crew, the other guys. Yeah. He then is vocalizing that for the rest of America to watch.

The other piece is, and I think that's something that we can all find some grace in, he likely spent two hours with her, y'all, from that point to the point he got to Fiji. It's not. No, he had, well, he had a one-on-one date. So that's my problem is that- Those dates, Trista, you know those dates. Like, you might have a one- He had way more time than that.

He had way more time. hours on end with her. So there also was a part of him, too, that, like, he might not have known where the relationship was heading. So why would he be like, hey, I'm a big old fat cheater and I have a hard time faithful? Like, I don't think obviously he should say like that. I think it's all in the delivery. And he didn't deliver any of it. Like, I feel like he could have very well said, listen, and they had talked about infidelity before. It was not the first time they had talked about it. So there was an end to the conversation prior. So you hadn't watched the one-on-one that they had been on and it was it was long they had the entire day together

in fiji even even before that and and going into that date in fiji the nighttime date he knew that infidelity was a problem for her and so it's all about your delivery like you can say um so in fiji did you did you see the way that he delivered it to yes i did so essentially he was like, so I cheated multiple times on this, on my girlfriend in the span of five hours. And I didn't do anything to better myself afterwards. Five days. Over five days. He cheated multiple times.

And then he was like, I didn't do anything to better myself after it happened. I know it's going to be hard for me to not do that again. He didn't say, I will not do that again. if we are together in the end. He was like, it's going to be really hard for me. And then she was like, well, here's the card.

And he was like, well, I need to be in the fantasy suite. And essentially, she took that to mean that he wanted to have sex with her just to see if they would laugh. And it ends up in the mental all.

He says, like, I didn't, he clarified it. And he was like, it wasn't about sex to me. It was just having time with you alone without the cameras.

But he didn't specify. that and so she was like I'm sorry but you want me to have sex with you when you just told me that you might cheat on me like why would I do that I think he did say that if he chose to be with someone to marry someone he would have the intentions to be faithful so I want to I want to just comment on something else that you said about him not choosing therapy before he came on the show and I would say that that's definitely something that you have to be completely emotionally aware about and want to seek emotional

stability and maturity and all of those things. You have to want those things before you seek out therapy. But I just think across the board, the show in general should have people going into therapy beforehand and coming out of therapy. Like there's also a piece of that. The production company

is to blame here. You know what I mean? Like, why not make sure that they're all mentally stable before they come on the show? And then let's make sure they're also mentally stable. We're often to the three-year-old. It wasn't mentally stable. It wasn't about being mentally stable. It was about how do I be in a committed relationship and not be unfaithful. That's what she had a problem with. It wasn't about like having a problem like with his own mental health. It was about going to therapy and working on commitment, the level of commitment. We're all adults here. Like we're all over

40. Like I feel like we have the wherewithal to understand that. Yeah, but I. I'm putting myself in charity's position. And I'm like, if I'm charity, then hell yes. I'm going to be like, what did you do? Like, you're on a show to get married in the end. We're not on a show to date each other at the end. We are on a show to possibly get engaged. Like, that's the end.

And there are multiple other people. So if you had this issue in a previous relationship and it broke it up, and you know that this is a really important thing to me, to be faithful in a relationship. Obviously, he didn't know that going on to the show. But if he's going on to it thinking he's going to be serious and possibly get engaged to this woman, it's just like, fine.

If you didn't do anything, then maybe don't, maybe don't, like, admit to that or something or talk about it when you're off camera or something. But I just feel like he just, he knew about this infidelity. coming into the show, he found out earlier that it was a deal breaker for her or would be a really, really hard thing to get passed for her. And then instead of like fessing up to it and being like, I am so sorry that I did this to this woman. I'm so remorseful. I want to be better. I want to be

committed to you. I am falling in love with you. He was like, no, I really think that we need time in the fantasy suite, and he didn't justify that he just wanted time alone with her not to just have sex. Do you know what I mean? Like, it was all about the delivery. Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD. Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble. Yes, yes. Then Emergency Intercom is the podcast for you. Open your free I-HeartRadio app. Search Emergency Intercom and listen now. Imagine that you're on an airplane and all of a sudden

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I've got something to say. Do you want to hear of the guy input? Yes, please. So I kind of agree with both of you, actually, in that I think. think what Deano's trying to say, which I actually do agree with this part of it, is a lot of people don't necessarily go on to the show realizing that they're going to fall in love, right? So I think they go on to the show. And you never know the timeline, by the way, unless that was mentioned, but I don't think you ever know the timeline of when this happened in his relationship and when someone or he

submitted himself to be on the show and next thing you know, I mean, that turnaround time could have been a month, right? So he could have had this relationship split up and then a month later, all of a sudden, boom, he's on national TV. So maybe he didn't have a chance to kind of dig into himself. a little bit and see where he was at with that whole thing. But I was going to say, too, Trissy, you're right. She did bring up that, you know, being faithful in a relationship was of paramount importance to her. And so he did have a couple opportunities, especially that date in Fiji when they hung out

all day, that he could have brought it up, right? He could have been like, look, I've got a kind of a complicated dating history or a complicated relationship passed. This happened in my relationship and I did this and I did that. You know, that would have been a much more opportune time because you're right. He would have probably not ended up on that. on the fantasy suite and you know but but then again another thing to think about too and i mean we you can't i'd love to take this out of the show but it just exists it's a competition show

i know that it's i know that it's not you know when we think about in the grand scheme of things but it is right you can hear your perspective coming from a male's perspective because what i was christa was as a woman right i had the same train of thought when i went into the show it was not about a competition to me it wasn't about any other things other than the fact that like maybe i will truly meet the person that I'm meant to be with, get engaged and live happily at thereafter. But in the defense, and maybe Bob can speak to this, I wouldn't say that most men go on to the show thinking that.

Like, I wouldn't say that most men are like, oh, my God, see you mom. I'm about to meet my bride. Like, I don't think that 20-something. No, you know, it's funny that you say that. Like, 20 years ago, it was different. I mean, the show is different. The reaction of the public to the show is different. I mean, you hear about some of these guys, which we'll get to you later down the road,

talking about endorsements before they're ever even on the show, right? It's like they're getting their Instagram set for their tooth whitening kits or whatever they're going to be puddling to everyone. So, I mean, you know, you hear about that. But yeah, like, I remember when I went on the show, I was open to falling in love. I was open to, you know, meeting Trista. And thankfully, I did, you know, and we fell in love and we're selling love today. It's wonderful.

That's how the two of you know each other. Yes. No, but it's so funny because when I went on the show, it was like, you know, we went on with the mindset of, you know, I was like, well, I don't. I think she's really hot. I can't wait to meet her. You know, and I meet her, I'm like, she's super cool. I really like her.

But it was like our vibe, and I know Trista will attest to this, because we talked about it for the last hundred years now, our vibe was always this, like, really great friendship vibe. Like, it wasn't a romantic vibe. And as much as I care about her and did that and do now, you know, I mean, I love her, but we didn't fall in love in that relationship way. And I think that you go on a show like that, I didn't go on there with the intention of not falling in love,

but I didn't go on there with the, like, I wasn't sitting at home just pining for the weeks leading up to it going, oh, my God, I can't wait to get on the show and fall in love. You know, I was more like, I don't know what the hell is going on. I'm going to show up and have a good time, and hopefully this girl's going to be awesome. And thankfully, she was and has become a dear friend of me. So I think that the guys nowadays, and I can only judge this from the ones that I've met, I think they might go on there with a different mindset than even what we had back then,

which was a lot more innocent. I do have to say, I totally agree with that. But at the same time, he was going to tell. he told her when she walked her to the car, when she walked him to the car, that he was in love with her. So he was already there. Like, yeah, I totally get that. Like, wait, you know, you're, you're trying to gauge whether or not you even like this person. If you want to stick around, if you think it's worth it to bring this up in front of America, in front of the crew, like, admit your deepest, darkest secrets. Totally understand that. But he was there. He was at the point where he was in love with. her and i just feel like i it's a big conversation what it really was i don't know but he said it when he when he went to the car i don't know if he was or not i mean obviously he was heartbroken on the mental all like he was he was visibly upset absolutely absolutely i pride myself on my brutal honesty and it doesn't always rub people the right way but i like for there to be

no reading in between the lines right when i left when i was on the bachelor i was so confused about what brad had done to me because he wasn't honest about the situation so right on my brutal honesty so would i have handled it the same way absolutely not i just i'm just trying to play devil's up devil's advocate and give him a little bit of grace because we we the three of us here have been in that situation we know how hard it be we know what a mind fuck it can totally be Oh, yeah. Big time. No, I 100% agree.

I love. As being like the maternal person for this show, I obviously, I don't, I'm not beating him down saying, you are so wrong. And you, like, I feel like he was really remorseful at the mental all. He apologized. It seemed very heartfelt. You could tell that he was so somber that entire time. Even when we were on the stage, he was just kind of like, get me out of here. he was not laughing and joking around no not at all vibe for him and I would imagine too like sitting on that stage and sitting with charity and having to explain where he was at there was probably a deep sense of regret y'all like he probably realized and again at the end of the day is this going to be the end of his story no he's likely going to do a lot of he's going to make someone a very wonderful husband and fall in love and be really happy we hope and I think he learned his lesson through this show I think he realized because he did

say, you know, I got a therapist. I want to, I want to talk through this with someone. And I think he actually matured a lot because of the show. I'm not beating him down. We're just discussing the, like, what I feel like should have happened earlier because it,

I do, I really wish that more people and hopefully in the future they will, will take it seriously. Like this, yes, of course, people are going to come on and they're going to want to be influencers and they're going to want to be gaining hundreds of thousands of followers. whatever. But I just feel like it is a show. Ultimately, I still believe this about love and

finding the person that you're meant to be with. Maybe there's a few that are in there because they want to get famous. Whatever. That's going to happen because that's the day and age that we live in. But I really would love for people, especially for the people who do go farther, like just to be honest, like you're saying, like just be honest with who you are. And if you're falling for this person, then tell them the things that you feel like are going to be important in a relationship and if they have deal breakers, bring them up. Like, have that...

That's a testament as to who you are as a person. Like, I would do... I love that. I had a guy on my season who waited until after the show was done to let me know that he had a girlfriend up until hometown dates. So like, yeah, I'm all with you.

Unreal. Let's all be honest. Let's all just like put it out on the table. I'll be honest and decent human beings. But at the end of the day, everybody thinks like us well and like you said like show him some grace he's young but like i said i think that he learned his lesson and i know he will he will find someone he'll be happy i loved him throughout the show i love those your morris fault too i think that that says a lot

about him yeah i totally agree as there were a lot of good people can make that decisions good people can make decisions right also of course maybe there are a few narcissists who walk into a situation like that and they're like oh i can't wait to hurt this person but He doesn't strike me. I hope not. I mean, I can't imagine he spent those five days being like, oh, I can't wait to screw her over. You know, he probably just made some bad choices.

And at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, the relationship that he was in was probably done anyway if he was that tempted to be with another human being. Right. Anyway. You know what I mean. You have for sure. Okay, so let's talk about our experience.

So we went out on stage, so much fun. I loved being able to share kind of our wisdom and even see the packages that they put up for each of our families. It's always so fun to see our kids. What? They didn't even show my kids. They showed you.

And Desirees, but they didn't show, no, they showed old clips of when I was the Bachelorette. So when we were on stage, they showed my pictures. You know what I mean? Oh, okay, yes. Episode air, they actually didn't show me with my kids. They showed old clips of when I was a bachelorette and talking about how it didn't work out for me.

And I was like, what is happening right now? No, they did. They did show a clip of my. Ladies, that what was happening right now? Oh, my gosh. They did the same thing for me. They showed the clip of the wedding and then they showed just a picture of our family. Same thing.

Yeah. No, no, they didn't show any pictures in my family. Oh, they didn't? Oh, I thought they did. They did on stage, Trista. That's what I'm saying. They did on stage, but it did not make the cut for the show. That's why I'm laughing.

Understood. done. Now I get it. Show me as a failed bachelorette. Oh, my gosh. It does take me a while. The old gal right here. Anyway, so after the show, you know, after we're on stage, we come out and Gary

comes on who we both freaking love. I love. This, Bob, let me just show you this right here. I was willing to talk to the attention that night. I was like, all these fine specimen of men. Look at all these men. And then

Gary, here comes Gary. Trista got the worst photo of me and Gary. Oh, my God, I love it. You look adorable, what are you talking about? I thought you looked cute. And it's not always about how you look. It was totally a moment captured that he was laughing hysterically because of something that you said.

You were cracking him up. You are funny, Vienna. You're very funny. I know. So, no, I thought it was so. Is he as good? I mean, that dude looks like a stud. I can't leave he's 71.

He's pretty good looking. He's pretty good looking. Looks like he has spent some of his off time in Florida. So, like, his coloring was off. And his hair was really blonde. But he was, like, he, Bob, honestly, and Tristel will tell you the same thing. He was the nicest guy. Like, he was so joyful to be there.

I love that. If you see the Mental All episode, his segment, he totally is just like a nice guy. Like, he's out there on stage. He's a jolly, jolly, guys. The cutest. And here I watch, I'm blatantly flirting with him in front of everybody. And he's so. And I was like, yes, Gary.

Let me know what time to be there. I'll see you soon. I'm going to be there. I'll see you soon. Hi, my name is Enya Emanzor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you.

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My dad is a farmer, and my mom is a cousin. So, like, it's not like... What do you get when a true crime producer walks into a comedy club? I know it sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that really was my reality nine years ago. I just normally do straight stand-up, but this is a bit different. On stage stood a comedian with a story that no one expected to hear. Well, 22nd of July 2015, a 23-year-old man had killed his family.

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Am I ready to enter this new part of my life? Am I ready to be in a relationship? Am I ready to have kids and to really just devote myself and my time? I wanted to be successful on my own, not just because of who my mom is. Like, I felt like I needed to be better or work twice as hard as she did. Join me for conversations about healing and growth. Life is freaking hard. And growth doesn't happen in comfort.

It happens in motion, even when you're hurting. All from one of my favorite spaces, The Kitchen. Honestly, these are going to come out so freaking amazing. Be a part of my new chapter and listen to the new season of the overcomper. podcast as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network on the IHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. I walked into the here in makeup room and he was sitting there and I hadn't met him yet. And I was like, hi, Gary. How are you?

And I'm like, so how is social media going? because as he's talked about, like he doesn't know anything about social media and he like totally over his head. And I was like, how's it going? And he was like, oh, it's fine. Are you from the social media crew? Well, he had no clue who any of us were.

He literally was like, who are you with this? This is my show. So I was like, no, I was actually the first bachelorette and he jumped out of the hair and makeup chair and came and gave me the biggest hug he was so freaking so it's gary and not jerry i thought was jerry it's spelled jerry but it's pronounced gary yeah okay he looks he looks good he does and you know what 71 or something he he's 71 he like my word for him is wholesome after meeting him and he's just so grounded and i ended up going and doing a

date with him um so fun i just got back that's why i'm so tan i went and sprayed tanned before i went um so i flew to l-a on friday and flew back on sunday and i was there for a pickleball date with all the ladies it was so much fun and i got to like have some some time with him and just talk to him about how he's feeling and everything but i just my word for him is wholesome i he is grandpa that everyone is going to be rooting for and i have said this i'm sure i've said this on the show bob on this podcast i have always felt like they need to pluck someone out of obscurity that we all can fall in love with yeah communally together as bachelor nation and thank goodness they're doing it with him because his story is just so heartbreaking and i mean how he lost his wife

life. And I just, I really hope that everyone rallies around this season because he is so wholesome and so everyone's deserving, but he's so deserving of a second chance at love. And just to share his life with somebody. You know what I mean? He's like a typical Midwest guy. Like he's like super nice and you can tell he just sits around and eats cheese curds and like lives his best. You know what I mean? He's all around like great nice guy. And that came. off that came off like the second you spoke to him like or was in his presence like you could just tell he was just as happy as can be you know what I mean so I love that man I cannot wait to see him seriously people sit on two different fences because I've been asking around if people are planning on watching the golden bachelor you know what I mean because I'm super stoked for it I would really love to see the show go back to some of those early days of the goodness genuine conversation where people were for a social media following or or or to not have a real job in life, you know what I mean? So, yes, it's funny because I kind of got like a 50-50 opinion from people.

Like some people were like, no, heck no, I'm not watching. Where's the drama going to be? And also how old are these women going to be? You know what I mean? And then the other portion, which were a lot of people who have watched the show from, you know, day one from Trista's days or I don't remember the other guy's name, but that we're saying like they were super excited to see the show go back to its roots. That has fallen so off course, literally.

you know, since Chris Harrison left and some of these other, I'm telling you, the older I get, the younger they get, and it's becoming a larger gap between me and any of these people on the show. But a lot of people were excited to see the show go back to hopefully some of the basics, which was not that there wasn't drama, but just to see more wholesome content, more genuine connections between people, and not be so centered around like, who's there for the right reasons. Right. They're going to sell t-shirts, you know, just crap.

You know what I mean? I've never seen the show on it. So, like, it's not like I moved home and, like, paparazzi were hanging out in my bushes in noon and Georgia. Like, I legit sometimes feel stupid saying I went on the show for the right reasons. Like, as stupid as it sounds, I legit went on for the opportunity to meet someone. I don't think that's not stupid at all. That's what the show is about.

So it's like, I think that's awesome. I mean, I think that takes it back. And I think with Gary, I kind of wanted to say Jerry so bad, but with Gary, I think it is going to be one of those things. I mean, especially now with the feedback you guys are giving. You know, so we're all excited. We three are all excited for the Golden Bachelor, but I have to hear, because I wasn't there with you all about Braden. I got to hear about Braden on the men's all. Earring's a guy, yeah.

That's the feather earring guy. Like, what was your impression? Was he putting on his best front with you guys? Was he flirting with you? Like, I could just see that dude. Like, you guys walk in. Hello, ladies. I got you to see it in my mind. Because Trista and Desiree were like, all these boys are flirting with you.

And I was like, I think I must be blind as a bat because I'm not seeing it. Like, I'm just sitting there with my cocktail and my deep chest suit. And I'm all like, hello, handsome, hello handsome. Do you need to know how to spell my first and last name? You're cute. You're nice and tall. Like, I literally was like just eating it up. Give me your phone. Give me your phone. Let me put my number in there. She was totally flirting.

And it was awesome. No, so we were backstage. just hanging out with, you know, the directors and producers and stuff, just kind of catching up with people we haven't seen in a while. And the show ends, the guys come out. And I do remember Braden was the first guy that came up to us. And had I not ever seen him on any show, I would say that guy is so sweet. And he was just very friendly and very respectful. Like, there was, there would have been no inclination about any kind of drama. None, right? I feel like I'm a pretty... This is after you got roasted, right? This is after you got just torn up on the show. Yes. Yeah.

So the difference being Bob is like we didn't watch the show. We literally were like three girls in our green room just catching up about life and talking about our kids and sharing pictures and just being the friends that we are. So when we went on stage, we actually did not have the opportunity on stage to interact with the guys whatsoever. They sat off to our left and you know because we're cheated looking at Jesse. We really don't, you don't even see them there, to be honest. So it wasn't until afterwards when they all came out.

And because I watched the episode, I have an appreciation for him because I do too. I have this skill to be so very honest. And I actually thought even when I watched the episode of the Mental All, that he did a really good job of explaining himself. Now, I think there were pieces of the show where he likely got caught up when you're watching the season. He came off as a little bit of a D-bag,

bragging about his kissing, all kinds of stuff. And nobody likes a guy who kisses and tells, just so we're all on the same page. Totally. No one likes that. Don't brag about how far you got. Don't brag about how long you made it. No one wants to hear that.

Like, be an adult about it, be an adult, a man, a grown man. But I do think that when he was on stage and discussing his persona and his persona and his personality and who he is, I thought he did a really good job on stage of being like, hey, I didn't handle this the best way, but like I am me to my core. And Tristan knows this because she's been walking alongside me

for several years now as I've gone through what has been the most difficult time of my entire life. And in the day, I am me to my core. And I shouldn't apologize for that. We are meant in life to have relationships to refine us, to help us grow, to be better, we hope, right? But like, at the end of the day, I can't apologize for being an incredibly human being, right? And I'm not a glass half full kind of person.

And it's not because I don't want to be. It's because I was never given that opportunity. I've had a very difficult life getting to this point. But I am loyal and loyal to a fault to myself. And I am kind and I am honest. And I am willing to walk through the hard shit as deep as it gets to dream. drag him ever I have to to get out on the other side. And I will not apologize for that. So there is this huge piece of my heart that appreciated that, even though he really was getting

beat down on stage. I mean, I'm not caring him apart, down to his scarf and earrings to his personality to everything that I thought he did a really good job of standing firm and who he is. And I appreciate that. I totally agree with everything you said. I think that another person could have very well gotten really frustrated and gotten mad and retorted, you know, and said mean things back to the guys. But he was so calm, cool, and collected and not in a way that it felt like it was disingenuous. It just felt like, he's like, you know what, I'm not going to be able to change these guys' minds. I'm sorry for the way that I treated charity. I could have handled that better.

And, you know, we're moving on and that's that. And he even apologized to charity, you know, too, like during their conversation. I thought, actually, the more disrespectful one was when Sean was like, I was going to ask you about that. Yeah. Can I come up there? And I'm like, okay. I get it.

But if he had something that he was like, I want to give you a hug or he didn't do anything like. He just wanted to be up there. That felt more disingenuine to me. And he was further on in the show, that's the. felt more disingenuine to me than some of the other guys who really respectfully sat in their chairs and owned up to some of their pieces on the show and maybe their disrespect and they handled certain situations. That felt more disingenuine to me. And I'm not saying he was trying to be. It just felt that way to me. I was going to ask you about that because, you know, you made through the

notes of the way the show went. And it's like he's got the most to say. Like you're not invited, Braden. It's like, Sean, no offense, but you don't make the guest list, right? It's like, you know, I was like, everything I was reading about, I'm like, who is Sean? You know, so I had to go back and actually figure out who he was. So I was going to ask you about him, too. So you guys felt like he kind of just inserted himself to get a little like to screen. Well, at least watching the show back. Aren't interacting with him.

I think he was one of the ones that came up and said hi after when we were back to. I was going to say was I'm a pretty good judge of character like off the bat. I just really can read people well. And Trista, to your sentiment, I think the same thing. When he walked up, you get a really good vibe from me. him. He feels very genuine. The guys were being weird, Bob. I'm joking around about how much I was flirting with them, but they were all

perfectly respectful to their elders. None of them were weird or rude in any way. None of them were or inappropriate. Like they all, you could just tell, like, if they didn't know who we were, they knew then, and they were all very kind in the way that they addressed us, hugged us, said hello, that it was a pleasure to him did, told us we were beautiful. You know, a bunch of three older women want to hear. You know what I mean?

And he was the first one out of the gate. And I just thought he seems like a warm outside of this, like a really warm and genuine human being. I got a really good. You mean Braden. Yeah, I agree. And then I also, I want to say, I don't remember him. I don't remember him walking up to me. I don't remember hugging him.

I don't remember him. I don't remember anybody else. So I know who you do remember. But before I get to that, I want to say, Michael, who's the yacht captain, he had like a gray, a green, um uh like over or sports code on um he came up to me and i don't know if he if he came up to you too he gave me the biggest hug but it like kind of took my breath away because it was so strong i was like you're tiny bob so hard really yes i mean i have not had any like physical affection in a very long time so i was like taking all the hugs i'm like squeeze as you possibly

do but like drista is a lot smaller than me she's frackle you know like i'm I'm looking for a good bear hug to just make sure I can remember what it feels like. Hey, man, those guys, those captains. So one of them came up to us, and he was talking to us, and it ended up being the firefighter. I was talking to him a little bit about how Ryan was a firefighter, and there was one guy on my seat. Who's the firefighter guy? Bob, you can tell me. Ryan's on. Guy that I let go the first night.

Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's in my phone. Hang on. he's a guy I met in at the dirty he walked right out to me or something right i was trying to remember his name billy hold on billy peralta billy peralta so i couldn't remember his name and i feel like they might have been at the same station at one point but anyway so we were talking about that and then he went and he brought um roses for each of us he was handing all of us roses but

i have a feeling i think this is the one that and i even i think he was said it earlier. The haughty. I only remember the haughty. That's what wearing all white and he had the he had I don't want to call it audacity but he had the guts to like like the three of us haven't received enough roses and for like could you be original but also give me your phone number. He did Bobby totally went and found three red roses and started handing them out to the three of us and we were like, oh, cute, but we've got a few. Thanks, Matt. And then he ran away like a scared child. He was like, okay, bye, see you a little later. I thought he had this original idea. He's like, these ladies, you know, love this.

Yeah. No, if there's any, if there's any guy from the men tell all that I feel like maybe Gianna had a little, a little vibe with. It was definitely Aaron. He was scared, though. I was trying to make eye contact. I was trying to look in his direction. He was scared. Is that what you said?

Scared him. He cannot. He cannot handle this 41-year-old grown-ass woman. He's... You're funny. And I'll tell you what has not happened. I'm not getting any of them sliding in by DM, so I clearly made a big impression.

I want to thank you guys. I feel like I was at the mental all episode with you. I feel like I was there. I got a little bird's idea of what it was like. First of all, I'm so glad they brought you both back. I mean, and does, three of my favorites of all time, obviously, from this show. But I think, in general, too, just three perfect personalities having that show and kind of help charity a little bit. So great job, ladies.

Thank you. You're welcome. Tomorrow, Trista. But let's do it again tomorrow. I know, right? Can we do it every week? Because I would love that. I mean, it just, I don't know about you guys, but it's just good energy.

I love the energy when I return to the show. You know, it's fun. literally pitching everything because Ryan and Trista have their 20 year anniversary coming up and I'm all to like Rob Mills I'm like listen can you please do like a vow renewal so that we can all get together again and have so much fun like that'd be amazing one core memories of meetings of people where you all just get to be together and have the best time ever so I literally was like pitching Tristan and Ryan's vow renewal to be taped by ABC and I'm like we really just need a good

excuse to like get together yeah I'm an island somewhere Go to bail. On an island. Please, an island. Take us to an island. Take us to an island. Take us every years ago. What we're going to go next, Trista, some tropical island.

Like, just send me there. Pay for my flight. Whatever. I'll be there. Okay. Okay. Well, thank you for being here today and recapping the Mentale all. It was just such a pleasure to do you in person, obviously.

Always, always makes me happy. And we do get to have you for another episode. What? I know, two for one. Diana Part two. Thanks, everybody for tuning in to all most famous OGs with me, Trista Sutter. And me, Bob Getty. And today with Dionne Steigliano as well.

Yay! Hi, my name is Enya Yumanzoor. And I'm Drew Phillips. And we run a podcast called Emergency Intercom. If you're a crime junkie and you love crimes, we're not the podcast for you. But if you have unmedicated ADHD... Oh my God, perfect. And want to hear people with mental illness, psychobabble.

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